Aunt Sara���LIVING IN THE MOMENT���

Memories of the Past ���Gifts of the Present���

By���Sara Fattori���

I hope my story will prevent others from ���experiencing ���

heart breaking family conflict.���  

In case of memory loss,��� who would you like to be IN CHARGE��� of YOUR LIFE?���������

���

In 2002, thirty two percent ���of persons with ���

moderate or severe ���MEMORY LOSS were age 85

or older.���

Individuals 85 years and older, are

one of the fastest growing segments of our population.���

In 2002, $103 Billion ���was spent on ���Nursing Home Care.���

MAKE A PLAN ���

Unless, preparations and planning are

made in ADVANCE with the guidance

from a …���

§  Trust Attorney���

§  Geriatric Care Manager���

§  Long Term Care Insurance Provider���

AND a Financial Institution. . . .  

����

MEMORY LOSS��������

BROKEN �FAMILY SYSTEM  

and a  

Can lead to …  

CONFLICT  

TRAGEDY  

and  

����

The Story of…………

Sara Blitch Sirmans Born November 29, 1915���

Charles Blitch (my Dad)���

Bedford Blitch���

Sara Blitch���

Raised by a single mother, Tallulah Everett Blitch���

(my Grandmother)���Sara has two brothers-���

Sara with her brother and sister-in-law���

Sara loves the beach!���

dating���Sara ...���NOT  SURE  

Sara meets Hagan���Sara ���Everett Blitch���

Virginia���Everett Blitch���

Sara and Hagan enjoy over 50 years of marriage in ���Albany, Georgia���

   

MY SISTER AND I TAKE THE TRAIN FROM��� SAVANNAH TO ALBANY EVERY SUMMER ���

DURING THE ���1960’S���

… My new husband joins me���

to check on Aunt Sara and���

Uncle Hagan���

in Albany, Georgia  

1993���

Our friendly visit���

becomes a CRISIS����

Uncle Hagan is in a COMA  

���

���

My Dad arrives ��� to be with his sister ��� during her time of need ���

���

I return home to Palm Beach����

Within a day of ��� arriving back home … ��� my Dad calls to tell me ��� he must return home ����

IMMEDIATELY,��

as my mother is NOT� answering the phone������

(She struggles with anxiety & depression) ��� ���

������ I must RETURN to Albany, as����

"Hagan is still in a coma and ...���  

… Decisions MUST be made��

���

My Aunt is clearly in a state of

CONFUSION or the early stages of ALZHEIMER’S���

���

No other family members are available to help���

������

I’m not …���

" " " "PREPARED ��� … for this responsibility!���

��� ���

However, I had to be the one��� to make the decision to have the ventilator removed from

Uncle Hagan.  

As���

Uncle Hagan���Passes,���

I Assure Him, I’ll Do My Best�To Care For Sara �

Until She Joins Him.�

In the midst of chaos, take time for peace.���

��������� ���

Funeral plans begin and ���my Aunt says to the funeral

director, “she’s a decorator”, and has me select the casket.  

1994���

Sara and my ���grandmother ���loved gardening. They both grew���Heritage Roses.���������Gardening is a beneficial activity during the early stages dementia.���

Weekly calls and���yearly visits, begin ���between Sara and I……. ���  

UNTIL 1997 WHEN…..���

AW

AR

EN

ES

S ���

AN

XIE

TY

������

•  During my visits the memory loss begins to reveal itself���

���

•  I have a new baby������

•  Phone calls from Albany becoming more frequent���

���

•  Discussions with friends, church, lawyer, adult protection services and local police���

Being with nature becomes critical when you are living in a assisted or skilled nursing facility!���

More and more phone calls ... ��� “Sara needs your help!”�

���

I continue to try and enlist my family for an INTERVENTION�

���

The timing NEVER seems to be right for them.���

1998���

DE

NIA

L  

•  I begin family conversations, questions and the push for a plan���

���•  Denial and the recurring request to

“Wait … Sara is OK for now”������•  It is inevitable, that I will have to move

her out of her beloved home.���

1999���

������

The Final Phone Call for

Help  

���

A member of Sara’s church ���called and said ���

with a FIRM voice … ������

���

2000���

��� “You do not know me, however, your aunt has become dependent on me.������ I would advise that you enlist the help of a sibling and bring her near your family.”������

The Final Decision���

• A neighbor calls frantically to say that men have been entering her house daily.���

• The bank calls to let me know Sara withdraws large sums of cash daily.���

2001���

Breath Pray Breath�In January, ���

I move Aunt Sara from Albany, Georgia���to an assisted living facility ���

in my home town of ���Jupiter, Florida���

Aunt Sara with Frances (my daughter)���The first Assisted Living Facility: ���

Courtyard Gardens Jupiter, Florida���2001  

Days Turn To Weeks And ���The Years Run Together���

��� ���

PSYCHIATRIST  

POLICE���

NEUROLOGIST  

LAWYERs  

VIOLENT BEHAVIOR  EMERGENCY ROOMS  

BAKER ACTED  

LAW SUITES  PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL  

COURT ROOMS  JUDGES���

LOCKED UNIT  

GUARDIANSHIP  

SOCIAL WORKER  

YOU MUST FIND PLACES OF ORDER ���AND TRANQUILITY …Thank you Mr. Morikami���

And There Is ���Something Called���

���

CAREGIVERS DEMENTIA���

IT A 36 HOUR DAY���

The  "bible”  for  families  caring  for  people  with  Alzheimer  disease,    offering  comfort  and  support  to  millions  worldwide.  

Really Is�

THE  BOOK  recommended  by  the  woman  (96years  old)  that        Aunt  Sara  was  depending  on.    

���the whole family was hit by a train.���

���

Going through a dark tunnel of despair and anguish. I was told to bring Sara home and that my actions were “cruel”. ���(They just did not understand.)

The  grief  I  felt,  because  of  the  acLons  by  my  siblings  &  parents,  was  as  though  ….    

COLOR MAKES YOU HAPPY AT ALL AGES.���Bright colors are especially important for the

elderly with dementia.���

A SARA AND SARA SELFIE���

Sara enjoyed music and entertaining.���Sara still enjoys music.���

���

��� T

YB

EE

BE

AC

H���

Sara enjoying the beach.���

Sara is still enjoying the ocean!���

Sara is still enjoying correspondence.���Letters and cards kept in her pink pocket-book. ���

Sara spends time daily reading her ���Georgia State College Year Books.���

GETTING OUT OF THE “INSTITUTION” AND INTO NATURE IS MANDATORY!���

Morikami Gardens is wonderful place to take a loved one…���”on wheels” young or old.���

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE, LIGHT AND BEAUTY.���  

The support system during ���the past 14 years!���

���ST MARK’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH & SCHOOL ���

���

Jane Antill ���NORTHERN TRUST���

���

Rebecca Doane ��� DOANE & DOANE, P.A.���

Gwynne Du Bose’���DU BOSE CARE MANAGEMENT���

���

LOURDES MC KEEN SKILLED CARE������

���

���

HIRING A PROFESSIONAL GERIATRIC CARE MANAGER CAN GREATLY��� REDUCE STRESS, SAVE TIME, AND OFFER KNOWLEDGABLE ���

ADVICE IN ADVANCE AND DURING THE CARE.���

Attorneys at Law���North palm Beach, Florida���

������

www.doaneanddoane.com���

       

Northern Trust Bank���NORTH PALM BEACH, FL 33408���

www.northerntrust.com���

ST Mark’s Episcopal Church & School���Palm Beach Gardens, Florida���

www.stmarkspbg.com���  

DU BOSE CARE MANAGEMENT������

www.dubosecares.com���

Lourdes  Noreen  McKeen  West  Palm  Beach,  Florida  

     

www.lourdesmckeen.org