READ ALL ABOUT IT THE POWER OF SPEECH AND LANGUAGE

I AM AN AMATEUR

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOURS SINCERELY

I ME OF HAVE AND BUT WHO WHOM WHO’S WHOSE

PROOFREADING YOUR COPY SINCE 1755

DICTIONARIES DO NOT CREATE LANGUAGE DICTIONARIES COMPILE WORDS

NO BAD WORDS ONLY BAD DICTIONARIES ERIN MCKEAN, LEXICOGRAPHER

LANGUAGE AIMS TO INJECT MORE MEANING INTO OUR DAILY LIVES SO WHY ARE WE RESTRICTING MODERN DAY LANGUAGE TO AGE OLD SUPERSTITIONS AND OUT OF DATE CONVENTIONS?

CORPORATE CONVENTION FORMAL AND FINITE

SOCIAL EXPERIENCE INFORMAL AND INFINITE

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE DESIGNEDWRITTENSPOKEN BY ALL OF US

1. LANGUAGE IS INFINITE

SET 1 WORD 146 DEFINITIONS

1 NEW WORD EVERY 100 MINS 15 NEW WORDS EVERY DAY NUMBER OF WORDS HAS DOUBLED SINCE 1950S GLOBAL LANGUAGE MONITOR

FINITE SET OF ELEMENTS INFINITE SET OF RESULTS

WHEN THE CHILD OF MORNING ROSY-FINGERED DAWN APPEARED HOMER, ANCIENT GREEK EPIC POET

THE TOTAL MANAGEMENT PLANNING PROCESS UTILISES STRATEGIC PLANNING PROCESSES WHICH FOCUS ON SITUATIONAL CONTEXTS AND INCORPORATE REGULATORY, CUSTOMER, ENVIRONMENTAL AND FUNDING NEEDS IN A REFLECTIVE AND REFLEXIVE MANNER FOR A HOLISTIC AND SUSTAINABLE APPROACH TO ORGANISATIONAL MANAGEMENT.

IN JUST A FEW MORE YEARS, THE CURRENT HOMOGENIZED VOICE OF BUSINESS – THE SOUND OF MISSION STATEMENTS AND BROCHURES – WILL SEEM AS CONTRIVED AND ARTIFICIAL AS THE LANGUAGE OF THE 18TH CENTURY FRENCH COURT THE CLUETRAIN MANIFESTO

WE ARE MAD SCIENTISTS

UNOBTANIUM® PLUTONITE® O MATTER® X METAL®

USE ALL THE WORDS CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY CREATIVELY THEY’RE ONE IN A MILLION

2. LANGUAGE IS NOT LITERAL

ENFP

LOQUOR ERGO COGITO ERGO SUM

YOU DON’T WRITE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING YOU WRITE BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY F. SCOTT FITZGERALD

MESSAGE MATRIX

MESSAGE MATRIX

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UNIFORM NOT PLATFORM

MOST MESSAGES FOCUS SOLELY ON CONTENT OFTEN AT THE EXPENSE OF CONTEXT TO THE POINT OF TREATING EVERYTHING LITERALLY

I COULD KILL FOR A GLASS OF WATER

I’D GIVE MY RIGHT ARM FOR AN iPHONE 5

FREE LUNCH

LANGUAGE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE

LANGUAGE IS ABSTRACT LANGUAGE IS VAGUE LANGUAGE IS OPEN TO INTERPRETATION

3. LANGUAGE COMES WITH EXPERIENCE

WE NEED TO HELP TODAY’S TEENAGERS UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR TEXT SPEAK AND THE FORMAL LANGUAGE THEY NEED TO SUCCEED IN LIFE. JEAN GROSS, COMMUNICATION CHAMPION FOR CHILDREN

LOL

SPONG

CHENZED

THE REAL ISSUE HERE IS THAT PEOPLE OBJECT TO KIDS HAVING A GOOD VOCABULARLY FOR HIP-HOP AND NOT FOR POLITICS. THEY HAVE AN ARTICULATE VOCABULARLY FOR THE KIND OF THINGS THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT. FEW ACADEMICS GET ANYWHERE NEAR MEASURING THAT VOCABULARLY. DAVID CRYSTAL, LINGUIST

ARBITRARY SYMBOLS AND GRAMMATICAL RULES LEARNED THROUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION

I GOOGLED WIKIS WITH BING GO GET THE DYSON AND HOOVER THE LOUNGE DID YOU GET THE POST OFFICE TO FEDEX IT?

ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS LONG MULTI-CLAUSE SENTENCES FOOTNOTES AND ENDNOTES DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, AUTHOR

STAINBOY, USING HIS OBVIOUS EXPERTISE, WAS CALLED IN TO INVESTIGATE MYSTERIOUS GLOWING GOO ON THE GALLERY FLOOR. HE FELT HIS HEART POUNDING HARD AGAINST HIS RIBS. AS HE BENT DOWN, HE SAW HIS OWN REFLECTION ON THE SURFACE OF THE PUDDLE. WITHHOLDING HIS BREATH, HE LIGHTLY POKED THE SURFACE OF THE PUDDLE. THE SURFACE SHIFTED STRANGELY, SLOWLY SPINNING INTO ACTION. STAINBOY TOOK A STEP BACK AS THE GOO CONTINUED TO SPIN FASTER AND FASTER. A SHARP COLD WIND WHIPPED ROUND THE ROOM. THE CHANDELIER SWUNG, THE ART ON THE WALLS SHOOK AGAINST THE WALLS, AND THE GOO BEGAN TO TAKE FORM. SLOWLY BEGINNING TO ENCIRCLE STAINBOY, THE GELATINOUS MOUNTAIN OF GOO LOOKED ALMOST FAMILIAR. STAINBOY’S EYES NARROWED AS HE TENTATIVELY LIFTED HIS HAND TOWARDS THE GOO, ALLOWING IT TO HOVER INCHES FROM THE SURFACE. SUDDENLY THE GOO SPRANG UP, COVERING HIS HAND. STAINBOY TRIED TO PULL AWAY BUT THE HARDER HE FOUGHT, THE STRONGER IT GOT. THE GOO PULLED HIM CLOSER AND CLOSER. HE SUDDENLY REALIZED WHY THE GOO LOOKED STRANGELY FAMILIAR. BUT HOW DID THE GOO END UP ON THE GALLERY FLOOR? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY? IT CLUNG TIGHTLY TO HIM; HE COULD FEEL THE CHILL OF THE GELATINOUS GOO CREEP UP HIS ARM. TRUE TO HIS NATURE HE DID NOT PANIC. A PLAN WAS WHAT HE NEEDED. STAINBOY HAD ALWAYS BEEN THE CURIOUS TYPE, BUT RIGHT NOW, HE HAD NO DESIRE TO WAIT AND SEE. AS THE GOO CONTINUED TO ENGULF HIS BODY, STAINBOY NOTICED THE CHANDELIER, NOW SWINGING FURIOUSLY. COULD HE REACH IT? STAINBOY REACHED UP AS HIGH AS HIS ARM WOULD ALLOW, THE GOO KEEPING HIM JUST INCHES OUT OF REACH OF THE CHANDELIER IT WAS LIKE HIS ARM WAS SHORTER THAN IT HAD EVER BEEN IN HIS WHOLE LIFE. HIS FINGER TIPS SCRAPING THE COLD METAL CHANDELIER. UNTYING HIS CAPE, HE TRIED ONE DESPERATE ATTEMPT AND BLEW INTO THE GOO-ED FABRIC TO MAKE HIMSELF A BALLOON TO STAND ON. STANDING ON THE BALLOON HE GRABBED THE CHANDELIER AND STARTED TO SWING WITH ALL HIS MIGHT. HE THRUST HIS BODY BACK AND FORTH, SQUIRMING AND KICKING HIS LEGS FRANTICALLY TO LOOSEN THE GOO’S GRIP THE VIOLENT SWINGS CAUSED SMALL PIECES OF THE CEILING TO FALL DOWN ON THE GOO, CAUSING A STRANGE REACTION. THE GOO CHANGED COLOUR AND STARTED TO PULSATE. STAINBOY LOOKED DOWN AT HIS FEET AS THE GOO RELEASED ITS GRIP AND BEGAN TO BUBBLE. THE AIR GOT DENSE AND HOT. STAINBOY CLOSED HIS EYES AND HELD ON TO THE CHANDELIER AS HARD AS HE COULD. BUT, FATE CONSPIRED AGAINST HIM. THERE WAS A GROAN OF METAL AS, NAIL BY NAIL, THE CHANDELIER LOST ITS HOLD ON THE CEILING. AS THE GOO ROARED WITH ANGER, STAINBOY PREPARED HIMSELF FOR HIS DEMISE. HE GASPED FOR WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS HIS LAST BREATH WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE, HIS FALL WAS BROKEN. STAINBOY OPENED HIS EYES. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? AND WHO HAD JUST SAVED HIM? HIS VISION BLURRED FROM THE GOO, STAINBOY RUBBED HIS EYES AND A FACE CAME INTO FOCUS. HE HEARD A

REACH FOR NEW WAYS TO MAKE AN EXPRESSION CREATE THE STRUCTURE TO SUIT YOUR STORY INVITE EVERYONE TO CONTRIBUTE

THE SAME OLD WORDS TELL THE SAME OLD STORY HOW CAN YOU CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD OF LANGUAGE?

AGE OLD SUPERSTITIONSOUT OF DATE CONVENTIONS

EXPERIENCE

EXPERIENCESHAPES OUR LANGUAGE

EXPERIENCESHAPES OUR LANGUAGELANGUAGE SHAPES OUR EXPERIENCE

LANGUAGE IS A UNIQUE PLATFORM FOR INFINITE EXPRESSION

HOW WE USE LANGUAGE ISN’T WRONG

HOW WE USE LANGUAGE IS CHANGING

HOW WE USE LANGUAGE IS CHANGINGAND WE’RE ALL HERE TO HELP

READ ALL ABOUT IT THANK YOU FOR LISTENING !

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RICHARD CURTIS @RADARBLUR