i n four girls will be sexually abused before her 18 th birthday
Principles of a Pscyhoeducation Program for Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused
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Transcript of Principles of a Pscyhoeducation Program for Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused
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Starting Where Clients AreWhen Clients are Children and
their Families
Jane F. Gilgun, PhD., LICSWUniversity of Minnesota, Twin Cities
http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asp
For Family Service, Inc.
St. Paul, MN
April 7, 2003
http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asphttp://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/people/profiles/GilgunJ.asp -
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University of Minnesota, Twin Cities
School of Social Work
Some day
maybe there will exist
a well-informed,
well-considered
and yet fervent publicconviction,
that the most deadly
of all possible sinsis the mutilation
of a child's spirit.
Erik H. Erikson
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Discussion Points
Cognitive Science and Its Relevance
to Psychoeducation
Healthy Parent-Child Relationships
Applications: Working with childrenand their families when children havebeen sexually abused
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Cognitive Science Connects to social works starting where
clients are
Where are clients? Internal working models of self and others
Schemas
Choice: limited by the time in which persons live,the settings in which they develop, and the personsand ideologies to which they are exposed
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Autonomy& Agency Self-determination not absolute
Accommodation
Mutuality
Agency=Choice:limited by the time in which
persons live, the settings in which they develop, andthe persons and ideologies to which they are exposed
Role of Professionals: Coach, encourage, draw out
clients capacities for choices
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Characteristics of Healthy
Parent-Child Relationships Sensitive responsiveness of care
providers to childrens bids
Mutuality according to capacities ofeach
Provision of environments that foster
healthy development Respect for childrens autonomy
Gradual relinquishment of parental
control
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Sensitive Responsiveness is
Essential Sensitivity to the child's bids Sensitive care providers are
available and supportive
emotionally available warm and responsive
Responsiveness and Reciprocity
reciprocal interaction
positive mutuality reciprocal caring and affection
with the adult aware of his/her power and differentialabilities
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Responsivenessand
Reciprocity responsiveness to the ever-changing
demands of the maturing, individuatingchild
child: compliance to requests of adults
adult: gradual relinquishment of controlover the child
sensitivity to and support for child's age-appropriate activities
effective teachers--structuring tasks so thatchildren could learn how to do them
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Responsiveness & Mutual
Respect: Generational Differences
Parents and other Care Providers: respect children's autonomy
allow children to explore and attempt tasks without intrusion
set firm, consistent limits without hostility
provide a home with age-appropriate play materials
flexible in their expectations
accommodatetheir expectations to childrens capacities
They adapt
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Responsiveness & Mutual Respect:Professionals & Clients
Professionals respect clients autonomy
Create conditions where clients can explore and problem-solvewithout intrusion of professionals or other group members
Create conditions where participants feels safe Create mutually agreed on ground rules including consequences for
breaching the rules
Enforce ground rules
Provide guidance and materials that Build on what clients want to know
Stimulate problem-solving
Accommodation/flexibility regarding own expectations
adapt to clients and what they want
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Definitions of CSA child sexual abuse clearly is an abuse
of power.
An adult, or older person, or astronger person, takes advantage of
a child
a child can never give informedconsent
because of age
children are taught to obeyadults/older people
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Definitions of CSA(Contd)
children can never give informed consent because of age
children are taught to obey adults/older peopleI thought there were laws about adults and children
Because of size"He was big and I was little.
I had to do what he said.
Children are naturally responsive to adultattention
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Children do not
Understand Lack of understanding of the nature of
the sexual behavior:
A 13 year-old talking to a friend: "We were just talking one day. She was talking
about her boyfriend. She thought she was big.She had sex with a 17 year-old. I said to her,
'That's nothing. I go to bed with a 34 year-old.' She said, 'You do? Who is he?' I said, "Myfather.'
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Abuse of Power Clear lack of reciprocity and not
understanding:
A 13 year-old said she thought her greatuncle was trying to love her: When askedwhen she thought of that, she said:
"It felt kind of weird. I didn't like him the wayI liked boys."
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Some Meanings to
Perpetrators
For perpetrators, child sexual abuse is anintense, highly erotic, highly gratifying sexual
pleasure "I remember that high, and, boy, I wanted it. I
wanted it.
About fellatio by a child:
"It would feel like being on top of the world. Up untilnow there's no greater feeling that I can experience thanhaving somebody perform oral sex on me. That is myultimate feeling."
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Many Possible Affects onChildren Betrayal of Trust Traumatic Sexualization Stigmatization--Shame--can be linked to
many other things Anger Powerlessness Grief & Loss--often experienced as anger--
internalized & externalized I'll never treat anyone like this Confusion Feeling special
Anything else?
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Resilience: The End Pointof Interventions
Capacities to cope with, adapt to, andovercome risks
Internalized capacities to maintain ansense of personal integration and a
sense of competence when confrontedwith adversities
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Resilience: The Concept ofRepair
Resilience
adversities, breakdown, repair
Similar to rhythms of relationships
Mutuality, breakdown, repair
Mutual regulation from infancy to old age
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Applications
Work with parents/Work with children Trust
Between children/parents and professionals
Among child/parent participants
Content that builds on and extends what theyknow and want to know
Family work Children show & tell
Small multiple family groups
Family therapy
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Applications to Workwith Parents
Cognitive Science
Stimulus stories for parents
Draw on their capacities to think, reason, andmake their own decisions
Scenarios on possible responses
Practice sensitive responsiveness Specific materials parents want to use
Opportunities to practice using these materials
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Applications to Workwith Parents
When Parents Have Working Knowledge ofMain Points of Program
Use video taping Parents practice the various scenarios that
are part of the education program
Review the video tape Ask a lot of wondering questions:
I wonder what you were thinking
I wonder how that fits with.
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Applications to Workwith Children
Cognitive Science
What are childrens levels of cognitive and
emotional development?
What strategies connect with where
children are? Concrete
Experiential
Direct
What else?
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Applications to Workwith Children(contd)
Group/pair work
Clarity about reasons for the group work
May involve preparation through individual & family work Thoughtful inclusion of group members who are
prepared for group work
Sufficient number of professionals
Fun, concrete, brief exercises, simple recognitionfor work well done, encourage children to give thisrecognition to each other
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Applications to Workwith Children(contd)
What kinds of exercises? Flash cards Emotion charts Reading books together Boundary setting exercise Hand drawing exercise What else?
Purpose? Repair Promotion of capacities for mutuality with adults
and generational equals (peers & siblings)
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Applications to Workwith Children(contd)
Parental involvement essential To develop similar language and understandings
Requires covering similar ground Can invite parents in at end of childrens group to let
children show parents what theyve learned
Small multiple family groups
Family therapy
Parental capacities for responding to children requires parents to do personal work
Parental willingness to engage with thepsychoeducation may require encouragement
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Cognitive Science
When change occurs, schemas aretransformed
Not assimilation of new ideas andbehaviors
but accommodation of new ideas and
behaviorsAt new developmental stages, children
and families may require tune ups
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Appendix
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What we want
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Many Kinds of Violence
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Childrens Understandings
I thought there were laws about adultsand children.
He did it until white stuff came out.
"It felt kind of weird. I didn't like himthe way I liked boys."
"Sometimes it felt good, but that mademe feel guilty.
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Perpetrators Threats
"You'll get into trouble and so will I.
"If you tell, I'll go to jail. That willmake my wife unhappy. You don't wantto make my wife unhappy, do you?"
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Some Key Phrases
The perpetrator took advantage of you.
Its OK to love and hate someone who hurtyou.
Child: He put his thing in my craphole.
Professional: He put his thing in yourcraphole.