Copyright Compliance Influencing People and Winning No Friends!
Persuasion the art of influencing people
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Transcript of Persuasion the art of influencing people
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Persuasion
The art of influencing people
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Ethos, Pathos, Logos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tTugqBkJU&feature=related
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Leonardo da vinci observed that the average person:
“looks without seeing , listens without hearing,touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness… and talks without thinking”
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Does that sound like a fair assessment of most of the human race (or YOU) ?
Certainly !!
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Here goes an example :
Inspector (to hotel clerk at reception ):
‘Does your dog bite ?’Hotel Clerk : ‘No.’Inspector (to dog): ‘Nice Doggie’…Dog bites inspector…
Inspector : ‘A-aaaagh … I thought you said it didn’t bite’Hotel Clerk : ‘That’s not my dog.’
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Effective listening
“Man Inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively, skillfully and with understanding to another person”
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Difference between hearing and listening
Hearing : it’s a sensory activity, physiological process in which auditory connections transmits information to the brain through ears.
Listening : interpreting, understanding, and deriving a meaning from what has been said.
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I'm Listening! Wait, What Did You Say?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related
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Running ‘tapes’ in your headthrough meetings
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Running tapes while talking to people !
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Tests has shown that
We talk between 120 and 150 per minutes.
we think at the rate of 600-800 words per minute.
So we think much faster Than we speak
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How to LISTEN productively Remove all distractions from your mind to concentrate with the speaker.
Distraction comes fromYour thoughts, senses and Emotions and surroundings.
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Don’t interrupt: cause thoughts formulate faster than speech.
Don’t finish the other person’s sentence cause it leads to misunderstood conclusions
Offering advice too soon trying to help someone.
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Attention pleaseWife : ‘you will mow the loan for me tomorrow, won’t you?’
Husband : ‘what ? Oh yes, yes.’
Wife : ‘we’ve got to get to the theatre by seven, so we ought to leave now’
Husband : ‘yes. OK, OK’
Wife : ‘I was going to wear this dress – do you think it makes me look fat?’
Husband : ‘yes, yes’
Wife : ‘What ?’
Husband : ’what ? No I mean no. ’
Wife : ‘You just said yes to everything. If you’d unglue that remote from your hand … you don’t listen to anything I say.’
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Keeping audience’s attention is probably the bedrock of any successful conversation or meeting
When attention is wavering you have to pick and look for signs, you can tell by person’s eyes, voice and their expressions whether their mind is elsewhere
And when you do; Its better to stop
No attention = no communication = no result
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ATTEN
TIO
N C
UR
VE Typical attention, the audience pays to an average
presentation
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People are always losing the thread of a conversation (we’re all human !) and need something explained again. But they won’t admit it.for many reasons :
1. They don’t want to seem impolite.2. They don’t want to look stupid.3. They feel guilty for letting their minds
wander4. They’ve decided that they are not
interested and they ‘switch off’5. They don’t want to prolong conversation
cause they have a lot to do
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What to do !!
When you pick the signs of distraction through voice or eyesREPEAT what you have said
FACT : Research shows continually that people take in about only 40 per cent of what they hear (without interruptions)
So by recapping you are helping the other person to crystallize all benefits that you’ve been discussing.
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Say what you are going to say
Say it
Say what you said
THE GOLDEN RULE
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Mind your own body language:When talking to someone you are sending a message verbally and non-verbally Feelings are displayed better by non-verbal messagesSender is the encoderReceiver is the decoder
Studies carried out by Edward De Bono have shown that 90 per cent of error in thinking is due to error in perception
If you change your perception; you can change your emotion and it leads to new ideas and insight
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Eye Contact
We tend to use eye contact for feedback purposes to make the speaker aware that we are listening to them
How eye contact have a positive effect:1. It shows respect2. It shows you are attentive3. Initiate a communication between two people4. Tremendous influencer when trying to persuade
somebody to buy your point of view or product.
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Avoid negative body language signals:
Crossed arms: you see this defensive stand in the trains,
coffee bars, lifts, and meetings(disagree)
when you see the crossed arms position it should alert you to take an action.
to change the closed position to and open position because it can change emotions
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Example
The interviewee wants to create an open body position on the other side so he says : Could I just show you this artwork from … ?
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Make sure your body is talking the right language and always smile
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Memory Magic
Remembering names :
‘I hope you enjoy your meal, Miss …’
‘any problems with the toaster Miss … please bring it back to us’
‘how would you like the money Mr. …’
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Remembering names appears to be the biggest problem for most people specially in the working world !!
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Why do we forget names !!
1. Its an interest problem-you weren’t interested enough to fully catch the person’s name and store it
2. You were distracted at the time of the introduction because your mind was somewhere else
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Rule1
Make sure that you hear the name (no visual distraction) and don’t ever feel embarrassed admitting that you didn’t hear the name
Rule2
if you hear a name, make sure you put it to the right face.
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Sharpen your memory
Sharpen your memory and you’ll see the magic it helps to avoid misunderstanding in work and life in general
It helps create rapport and vital persuasion skills
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7 essential skills necessary to win the hearts and minds
1. Good listening skills
2. how to hold attention
3. Appreciation of body language.
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4. Memory skills
5. Knowledge of the impact of words (measure twice-cut once)
6. Skills with the telephone
7. Negotiation skills
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Ladder Approach
1- Look: look and use your body language to show interest in the subject.
2- Ask : Ask questions and make relevant comments.
3- Don’t interrupt.
4- Don’t change the subject.
5- Emotions should be kept in control.
6- Respond properly to words
7- Slow down your thoughts and concentrate on the speaker.
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Thought of the Day
If dealing with life is like a game of cards Then dealing with people is like a game of poker.
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Some useful links
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5N49iBT2X8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tTugqBkJU&feature=player_embedded#! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQtJk_rNHmg&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENkwUBPhMJw
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Thank you for listening