PARTOF MINDAN INTROSPECTIVE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BRANDON JACKSON

artist

graphic designer

philosopher

thinker

writer

quiet

daring

calculating

autonomous

free-thinking

open-minded

PART OF MIND “IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU.”

II) in the beginning

I) introduction

III) simply moving along

IV) ephemeral friendships

V) the clown

VI) what would you do?

VII) maturation, recognition

VIII) confidence

IX) things worsen

X) slipping back into darkness

XI) running dry, keep going

WHER

E TO G

O

PART OF MIND “NOTHING SPECIAL HERE,JUST ANOTHER LOST SOUL.”

Thank you for picking up this book and taking the time to delve into part of my mind. This isn’t about reading the events of a random guy’s mediocre life, but rather a journey into the perspective of another human being and how they see the world in contrast to your perspective.

We are all different, yet we all come from the same origin. Let us come together and learn about others so that we may better understand the world in multiple points of view.

INTRODUCTION 1

PART OF MIND

“ALL THINGS HAVE BEGINNINGS,BUT NEVER LAST FOREVER.”

What is this place? Why is it even here? Does it really matter? No, not so much. I’m here, I know that I feel things -- happiness, anger, boredom, pain, sorrow, things that would be best absent in our world. Stretching back to the advent of my existence, this knowledge has been there, always there. I questioned it, not being able to fully grasp what it was and why it was, but indifference led me to happier times, a path fraught with joy as opposed to the alternative. Those days were fun. Nothing else mattered. It was as is and I coexisted…

in the beginning

2

PART OF MIND

THAN TO WALK YOUR OWN.”“IT IS EASIER TO WALK ANOTHER PATH

Interesting. Moving along without any sense of direction, without even knowing where you’re going. He could fit this description. Not necessarily apathy, but perhaps an escapist, yet understanding nothing. Perhaps life is better off this way -- like they say, ignorance is bliss. The more you know, the more you realize how unfair the world really is at times, and even its frivolity. Bountiful was motivation with nothing else to counteract the auspicious sentiment. No choice of his own, moving along a predestined path was far easier. si

mpl

y m

ovin

g al

ong

3

PART OF MIND

AND PEOPLE GO.”“PEOPLE COME

Apparitions to behold in a void filled with substance and no significance. They were there, to keep him from feeling alone -- no one likes that feeling. It’s why we hold hands and join in communal activity, as if we want to become a singular entity with better understanding of the other. Walking away and blocking them out, why? Fear of being hurt? Was he hurt before? Insecure? Shame on those who failed to receive; transient things they seem to be. A mask to mask their true identity -- things with no solidarity. Playing with ghosts when you are ignorant to the truth can be quite fun, though.

ephemeral friendships

4

PART OF MIND

“NO ONE IS REAL,

EVERY

ON

E WEA

RS A M

ASK

.”

Sometimes it is easier to navigate through life with a smile, pretending like everything is right with the world. Much like a clown paid to perform on stage, losing his mind and pulling orange hair out with nothing but a smile. Unmoving, unchanging. Popping balloons and ensuing with infantile antics, appealing to the youth who know no better, knowing not the slightest hint of their world’s injustice. Laughing and cheering, the clown continues for the kids, to keep his job. Sad thing is, the performance was never intended to be funny. Between you and I, hiding the sanctum of such a beautiful mind, the notion brings a delightful chime. th

e cl

own

5

PART OF MIND

“CHARACTER IS NOT DEFINED BY PHYSICAL TRAITS,

BUT RATHER BY ACTIONS.”

wha

t wou

ld y

ou d

o?

Walk down a path and tell yourself what you see. Nightmares with fears of what tomorrow is going to hold and naught to relinquish the emotions from being untold. Does it have any barring on what you choose to see; affect what is going to happen to your own wellbeing? Block everything out and the thoughts are brainwashed on what should be considered nominal when really the world isn’t that phenomenal. After all, what else is out there aside from what you think you know? How would you describe what you see when there is nothing to do? He made his way through, blankly. No one else could ever hope to understand.

6

PART OF MIND

“LIFE CHANGES WHEN YOU DO.”

He grew up, he grew wise, he started to see that he didn’t have to succumb to the will of negativity. He started to respect himself and those around him, the apparitions recognizing more than a bystander in him. It felt good. Who wouldn’t want it? Triggered from what, though? After you get pushed down so many times, you either plaster your rear to the ground or obstinately persist in standing back up until you are pushed no longer. Surely time couldn’t be the culprit when the adage states that time heals all wounds. Go down your own road and look into yourself, that is, if it isn’t empty. The past to be gone and no longer prevalent, it is never forgotten. We are a product of our own roots. And imagination.

maturation, recognition

7

PART OF MIND

“IN THE PASSAGE OF TIME,WE REALIZE OUR WORTH

FOR BETTER OR WORSE.”

“IN THE PASSAGE OF TIME, confidence

The beacon of light shone through the veil of darkness out at sea. Washing away the glum and dour countenance, the obstacle that kept running around and preventing him from moving on in the game called life. It came through, stopped the obstacle and hurdles of life from driving him further into a mediocre existence. It changed his life. The outlook, the love; the path of a nightmare he once saw, gone. For the first time in a long time, life felt great and meaningful for this soul. But would that beacon shine forever, or was it the precursor to something more foreboding?

8

PART OF MIND

“THE CLOSER YOU GET TO THE LIGHT, THE GREATER YOUR SHADOW BECOMES.”

things worsenThings oft seem too good to be true at first glance, at least for the most part. That’s one thing he learned from the milieu of lies, disappointments and lack of moral decency. A brief moment of respite from holding his breath underwater, puddles of degenerate ties, surfacing again to give rise to another side of him. Darker, living within the blizzard of his own soul. Things started to change as he looked at a bigger picture, revealing more detail. What was he doing? Playing a game and he just landed on a back-to-square-one space.

9

PART OF MIND

“BEFORE THERE WAS ANYTHING,THERE WAS NOTHING.”

slipping back into darkness

Petal by petal, the rose lost more of itself to the adversity of a storm, relentlessly blowing its oppressive force so that nothing else could possibly stand in its wake. They blew away in the gale, never to be recollected and never to be regrown from the same stem, in the same manner. Gone, just like that. Like the candle light’s theme of vanitas. Everything. He tossed the game board aside, tossed those wanting to venture deeper into his realm, away; there was now nothing, befitting the same origin as all else. What was the point to anything? Still, he struggled, in a world far removed from any sense of consensus or fair sense of justice. The rose was now gone. Emptiness remained.

10

PART OF MIND “LIVE NOT FOR TODAY,BUT FOR HOPE OF A BETTER TOMORROW.”

Life goes on and sometimes you lack the will to move onward, because life in the present just sucks or things aren’t going exactly as planned. Live with the expectation of mistakes and try not to think too much, for life is too short to ruminate about what is, isn’t and what should, shouldn’t. Even when times seemed hopeless within the hell of his own mind, he kept going with the hope of a better tomorrow. Maybe one day this will all pay off, but you’ll never know until you try.

running dry, keep going

11

Thanks for reading.

“LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT,

TRY TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT.”