Meeting the Conflict

An activity which takes place when conscious beings (individuals or groups) wish to carry out mutually inconsistent acts concerning

their wants, needs or obligations.

An interactive process manifested in incompatibility, disagreement or dissonance within or between social entities.

O situație de competiție în care părțile sunt conștiente de potențialele incompatibilități viitoare, în care fiecare parte dorește

să ocupe o poziție care este incompatibilă cu dorințele celorlalți.

Definition

Perception of the conflict

Unavoidable?

“Constructive” or “Destructive”

Tool-Kit

Conflict – means new opportunities?!

Conflict – means new opportunities?!

Perception

Perception

“Blind men and an elephant”

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes (Test)

www.test-tomasa.ru

Conditions for achieving the WIN-WIN:

Opportunity

Skills Costs

Learning VS Comfort?

«Verbal Aikido»

Ai-Ki – the balance of energy

To stay on the same side:

Agree that you disagree!

In what?

How to change it?

Changing the focus

Solving and Resolution

Management and Control

Transformation

Typology of conflicts

Instruments

«Onion»

Position (I say)

Interests (I want)

Needs (I need)

Conflict tree

Consequences Core problem Reasons

«Iceberg»

Values

Position

Interests

Needs

Positions vs. Interests

Positions

– one party’s proposed solution to an issue

– the “how” focuses on a particular solution

– Require justification (defense)

– sets up confrontation before the problem has been clearly defined

Interests

– one party’s concern, need, or desire behind an issue

– Examine “Why” a solution is preferred/the issue is being raised

– Require explanation (reason)

– establishes a climate and a common language for discussion

– Interests are not Mutually Exclusive

How do you identify interests?

• Ask “Why”?

• Ask “Why Not”?

• Realize each side has multiple interests

• The most powerful interests are basic human needs

Interests vs. Positions

• Most powerful interests are human needs.

Husband

“I want a vacation in Las Vegas” (Casino)

Wife “I want a vacation at the beach” (See)

Let’s practice

How to invent?

• Separate inventing from deciding

• Broaden the options on table

• Search for mutual gain

• Make their decision easy

Separate inventing from deciding

• Brainstorming

Don’t criticize

Don’t evaluate

Find most promising solutions

Improve on other good ideas

Finalize list and evaluate

• Distinguish brainstorming from negotiation

Broaden the options on table

• Do not look for one best answer

• Select from the great number and variety of options

Broaden the options on table

• Look through eyes of different experts

• Invent agreements of different strengths (substance or procedure, agree on where you disagree)

• Change the scope of proposed agreements

Multiply options by shuttling between the specific and the general: the Circle Chart.

Step I: Problem

What’s wrong?

Symptoms?

Reality vs Desired Future

Step II: Analysis

Sort symptoms into groups

Possible causes

What’s missing

Barriers to solving

Step III: Approaches

Possible strategies

Theoretical fixes

Broad ideas about what to do

Step IV: Action Ideas

What specific steps

Goals

Verify

Look for mutual gain

• Identify shared interests

• Merge differing interests

• Look for items that are low cost for you and high cost for them

• Ask for their preferences

Make their decision an easy one

• Pick one person

• “Whose shoes” - who do you want to influence

• What decision- give them an answer rather than a problem

• Look for precedent

• “yesable position”

Summary

1. Separate the people from the problem

2. Focus on interests, not positions

3. Create options for mutual gain

4. Define objective criteria

Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by

Roger Fisher and William Ury Penguin Press c. 1991