Module 3 Lesson 3 Notes 2

Revising for Clarity

What is clarity?

•Clarity is the idea of making something CLEAR for your readers.

•There are multiple elements to ensuring clarity.

How can we improve clarity?

•Use essential words

•Limit number of words

•Pace information

•Use specific words

•Remember our audience

•Avoid run-ons/fragments

•Use parallel structurehttp://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/648/02/

Essential Words

•You want to be concise rather than wordy.

•Too wordy:This manual of instructions was prepared to aid our dealers in being helpful to their customers. (16)

•Essential words:We prepared this instruction manual to help our dealers serve their customers. (12)

Number of Words

•Sometimes, it can be as simple as using fewer words.

•Too many:The collision had the effect of a destructive force on the duplicator. (12)

•Just enough:The collision destroyed the duplicator. (5)

Pace Information

•Remember, we want to give details at a pace that our readers can handle or that is easily read.

• Our deluxe models have chromium, rubber-insulated fixtures for durability, economy, and easy maintenance, and convenient controls to cut down on installation costs and necessary adjustments. They operate on AC or DC current and incorporate the latest principles of electronic controls which means flexibility in their use, better adjustment of the thermal units, less chance of error, and reduced labor costs per unit of production.

Use specific language

Vague: contactSpecific: call, write, visit

Vague: slowlySpecific: about as fast as you normally walk

Vague: soonSpecific: by March 15

Vague: This television set is high quality.Specific: All components in this television set meet or exceed government specifications for use in manned satellites.

Remember our audience

Excessive, Overwritten: The choice of exogenous variables in relation to multi-collinearity is contingent upon the derivations of certain multiple correlation coefficients.

Accessible, Direct Supply determines demand.

What does our audience already know?

Avoid fragments

•A complete sentence has at least one subject and one verb.

•A fragment is missing either the subject or the verb.No Subject: Went to the store to buy brownie mix.

Added Subject: My dad went to the store to buy brownie mix.

Avoid run-ons•A run-on is a problem that occurs

when one or more complete sentences is put together in one sentence without the correct punctuation.

• The grocery store was really packed with people there must have been a big sale today.

• The grocery store was really packed with people. There must have been a big sale today.

• The grocery store was really packed with people, so there must have been a big sale today.

• Because the grocery store was really packed with people, there must have been a big sale.

Parallel StructureParallel structure means using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have the same level of importance.

Not Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.

Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and riding a bicycle.

Not Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.

Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/623/1/

When we revise...

•Revising is different from editing.

•Editing includes finding typos and grammatical errors and simply fixing those

•Revising means to REwork our piece to make it the most effective.