Revising From Wide Shot to Close Up

Part 2: Medium Shots

Wide Shot to Close Up review

Wide shot = big picture

Medium shot = paragraphs

Close shot = sentences

We’ve already practiced revising from the wide shot

Here’s a quick review:

For wide shot (big picture) revising, consider:Did you answer the essay prompt question(s) correctly and thoroughly?

Did you remain focused on answering the prompt question(s) throughout your entire essay?

Let’s quickly review how directors use wide, medium and close shots to tell a story

Here’s short clip of the opening scene from Ray (2004) directed by Taylor Hackford

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2_jQOy6IcM

Here’s short clip of the opening scene from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1967) directed by Sergio Leone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnM2LTM0h_E

Now let’s transition to medium shots and learn about how you can use them to “direct” your writing

Medium Shot (Paragraphs)Does each paragraph remain focused on one topic?

Because this is a research essay, the topic is usually a single source.

Example:

In your evaluation essay, does each paragraph focus on how well a single source answered your question and/or the strengths and weaknesses of a single source?

Only the transition/intro paragraph should deviate from this focus.

Let’s take a look at an example paragraph and see if we can revise to make it a strong medium shot in the student’s “movie”

Two quick reminders:

1 - We know the student’s research question is "What are the effects of teen suicide and how can it be prevented?"

2 - We’ve read the abstract of the source the author evaluates in the example paragraph

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNrQZ7jcIXA

Let’s break this paragraph down line by line, then we’ll decide how to revise

So let’s think about the big patterns we noticed

Patterns:

Plenty of information about the source’s content

Some digressions into personal opinion

Good evaluation, but not always 100% clear

Before you revise in groups, think about the essay prompt

Prompt (excerpt):

The main purpose of this Essay is to evaluate the arguments made in your sources. By “evaluate,” I mean that you should offer a critical opinion on them (evaluate their strengths and weaknesses).

see: http://eng102isfun.blogspot.com/2013/09/essay-2.html

The two big tasks for this essay were:Which sources offer the best answers to your research question? Why? How?

Point out strengths and weaknesses in your sources.

see: http://eng102isfun.blogspot.com/2013/09/essay-2.html

Now that we’ve broken down the essay, get into your learning groups and try to revise the paragraph so it stays on topic and fulfills the essay prompt

When you’re done revising, we’ll look at each group’s work

We’ll choose two and put them in the slideshow, which I’ll re-post on the blog and Canvas (I’ll tweet a link as well)

View this slideshow on the blog (using the slideshare viewer) at the blog here:http://eng102isfun.blogspot.com/2013/09/essay-2.html

note to self: have actual link above when it’s finished

You can also download it from the blog or Canvas and find a link on the class twitter feed