Middle School Toolkit

YWCA Silicon Valley

Table of ContentsA. Santa Clara County Child Abuse

Prevention CouncilB. Department of Family & Children ServicesC. Self-CareD. BoundariesE. ConsentF. Healthy RelationshipsG. Reading RecommendationsH. #ConnectSupportReportI. Additional Resources

A Message from Steven Dick,Chair of the Santa Clara County Child Abuse Prevention Council

Protecting Children in Santa Clara County During Shelter in Place

(Spanish) (Vietnamese)

A Message from Daniel Little,Acting Director of Department of Family & Children Services

Child Abuse Prevention & COVID-19

Self-CareSelf-care is participation in activities that

improve your

physical, emotional,

mental, spiritual,

and social well-being.

Self-Care

There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to self-care.

Self-care is customized to each individual’s needs. What works for one person may not work for another. In order for self-care to be effective, an individual needs to

participate in activities or practices that relate to themselves.

Self-Care for Kids | Karen CarrascoMeditation 101: A Beginner's Guide |

Gobblynne

Mindful Meditation

Follow these easy instructions to ground yourself no matter how you may feel or where your head space is. The purpose for this

activity is to be aware of your body and where you are.

Mindful Meditation1. Sit comfortably wherever you are and close your eyes. Let your body relax and take

three slow breaths2. Place your attention to your feet. Check in and see how your feet feel.

a. However you feel is okay. The purpose of this activity is to be aware of your body without reacting and accept different sensations your body feels.

b. Allow your feet to completely relax - to become soft, heavy, and loose.3. Take your time and repeat this process for your legs, belly, chest, arms, shoulders, neck,

jaw, cheeks, eyes, and forehead. Check in with each part of your body to see how you feel in each area.

a. Once you know how you feel, allow that part of your body to relax.b. REMEMBER: it’s okay to feel how you feel. Acknowledge without reacting or

judging.4. Focus on your breath - from the start of your breath, to the middle, and to the end.

a. Try to keep your attention completely on the feeling of breathing for as long as you can. If your mind wanders, try to bring it back to your breath.

5. Sit quietly for 5-10 minutes and then open your eyes to bring your attention back to where you are.

Journaling

Writing in a journal can be a way for you to reduce stress or anxiety by helping you work through any thoughts or feelings and boost positivity. Journaling also helps you increase problem saving, enhances creativity, improves your memory, and allows you to track patterns. Here are some prompts for you to follow if you need some help stimulating some ideas!

Journal Prompts (1/2)

1. At this moment, what are 10 things you’re grateful for?2. Where do you see yourself in 3 months? 6 months? A year? 5 years?3. What beliefs do you have that hold you back from living your ideal life?4. Write down 10 goals to accomplish by the end of this year.5. How have you changed in the past year?6. How do you like to spend your Sundays?7. What are 5 things you love about yourself? Why?8. What is something you’ve been procrastinating on?9. What is the best compliment you’ve received?10. Write about a previous fear that you’ve overcome.11. Write a letter to someone who has been on your mind.12. Who inspires you? Why?

Journal Prompts (2/2)

1. Create a list of 5 or more songs that make you happy.2. How are you feeling today?3. Where is your favorite place to go? Why?4. What are 10 facts about yourself?5. What would you do if you had $1,000 to spend however you please?6. What is a pet peeve you have?7. How do you define success?8. How would you like people to treat you?9. Write a bucket list of what you want to do or have at some point in your life?10. Write a “thank you” letter to someone who supports you.11. Write about 3 life lessons that made you who you are today.12. What are your favorite shows to watch or favorite books to read?13. What are your favorite hobbies?

Create a List

Creating lists can help you:1. organize any thoughts, ideas, tasks, or

plans2. prioritize what is important and manage

tasks effectively3. keep yourself accountable, meaning you

are able to answer why you were able to do or not do something

4. help you delegate; if you know you might need help completing something, you can ask others for their help

5. feel productive; checking or cross off a task can be rewarding and gives you a sense of control over your time

Affirmations

Affirmations are positive phrases that we say to ourselves to inspire or motivate positive thinking, behavior, and environment in our own lives.

Exercise

Exercise is physical activity that enhances or

maintains fitness and overall health and

wellness.

What counts as exercise?

Exercise can be playing a sport (soccer,

volleyball, football, basketball, etc.), going for a

walk or run, jump roping, swimming,

weightlifting, yoga, stretching, biking, and so on.

Getting Enough Sleep

Kids and teenagers are busy with school, running around with friends, playing sports or games, and doing homework. They need to be able to rest and recover for the next day.

Sleep helps improve your attention, behavior, learning, memory, and overall mental and physical health.

How many hours of sleep should I get each night?

AGE HOURS OF SLEEP

3-6 years old 10-12 hours per day

7-12 years old 10-11 hours per day

12-18 years old 8-9 hours per day

Socializing

Talking to people whose company we enjoy gives us a

sense of belonging and purpose.

Socializing can also help improve our mental health, emotional health,

confidence, and self-esteem.

Socializing Safely During COVID-19

Texting

Video chatting

Social media

Writing letters in the mail

Social distancing (6 feet apart) while wearing a mask

Being Safe on the Internet | AMAZE Org

Do You Think You're Practicing Good Self-Care? Quiz | LoveIsRespect

BoundariesSetting boundaries is an additional and an important

way we can practice self-care.

Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are

reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will

respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Types of Boundaries

PHYSICAL

EMOTIONAL

MENTAL

SOCIAL SPIRITUAL

Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries allow you to feel safe, respected, trusting. They also allow

you to be assertive, empowered, and understanding of what your needs, thoughts,

feelings, and desires are separate from other people. Healthy boundaries protect

your time, your emotions, your energy, and your personal values. It is also:● A practice of self-care and self-respect● A communication of what your needs are in a relationship● A practice to make time and space for positive interactions● A healthy limit in a relationship

Setting Healthy Boundaries

1. DEFINE. What boundary is being crossed? How does it make you feel when that boundary is crossed? What can be done for you to have peace of mind? Clearly define what your boundaries are by being direct; communicate what the boundary being crossed is and the solution for the other individual to not cross your boundaries.

2. REMIND. When a boundary is being crossed, be assertive and remind the individual of what your boundaries are. “I would appreciate it if you helped me maintain my boundaries by ____.”

3. SELF-CARE. The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of yourself. It is important to tune in to what your thoughts and emotions are; understanding where you are and what you need can strengthen your motivation and determination to create boundaries. Being self-aware helps you develop a positive outlook, teaches you how to be more present and how to be compassionate for those who need to care or self-care as well.

My Right to Boundaries

Fill in the blanks using

the word bank below:

Word Bank● Other people● Right● Reaction● Practice● Treat● Right● Respectful● Communicating

I am responsible for how I __________ other people, but I am not

responsible for other people’s _________.

I am responsible for _________ my boundaries in a __________

manner that is clear,

and I do not need to apologize for it.

At first, I might feel bad when I set my boundaries, but I have the

__________ to self-care.

Setting boundaries takes time, __________, and determination.

Additionally, I need to respect _______________’s boundaries

because they have their __________ to self-care too.

My Boundaries

PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL MENTAL SOCIAL SPIRITUAL

The boundary being crossed

The action I will take

In the space provided, list one or two examples of boundaries being crossed for each type and then write potential solutions to resolve the boundary problem.

What is Consent?Consent is permission to cross

someone else’s boundaries.

Consent is an ongoing, willing,

active, and enthusiastic YES!

Consent is Ongoing

Consent is an ongoing conversation.

Just because a person said yes Tuesday doesn’t mean they have given consent for Wednesday. Consent needs to be given every time for every act. Consent can be given and taken away at any time.

Consent is Willing

Consent is given willingly free from coercion, intimidation, force or fraud.

Consent is Active

A person must have the mental capacity to say “yes,” must be sober, and must be 18 years or older. Consent includes an understanding of what is happening and

what will happen.

Consent is Enthusiastic!Consent is a positive “YES!”

Consent is not a “sure” or “maybe.” The absences of “No” does not mean yes.

Consent and Tea | Blue Seat Studios

Healthy Relationships

We all have relationships in our lives. The different relationships we have

can influence and add value into our lives.

Healthy Relationships

Answer the following questions about relationships in your life:

1. What relationships do you have in your life? Relationships are ways two or more people are

connected.- This could be with parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, friends, classmates, coworkers, dating

relationships, etc.

2. Where do we get our information about relationships? Where do we see examples of healthy

and unhealthy relationships?- This could be from parents, family members, television, movies, social media, friends, etc.

Love is & Love is NotIn the chart below, use the word bank to fill in what love looks like under “Love Is..” and what love does not look like under “Love Is Not..” If you think a characteristic could be both, put it under the middle section. Feel free to add any other characteristics to each section if you come up with more!

Word Bank● Feeling safe● Feeling supported● Controlling behavior● Fighting all the time● Communication● Always being together● Respect● Trust● Blaming others for their

problems● One person has the most

or all power and decision making

● Equality● Isolated from

friends/family● Consent● Feeling afraid or used by

partner● Feeling happy● Listening to your partner● Unwanted touching● Lying● Encouragement● Cheating● Stalking

Reflection

The words you listed under “Love Is..” reflect characteristics of a healthy relationship

while words listed under “Love Is Not..” reflect characteristics of an unhealthy

relationship. Answer the following questions about the list of characteristics in each

section.

1. How do the characteristics in each section make you feel?

2. Why did you list the words, if any, in the middle section? Explain.

3. Were there any characteristics that you were unsure of?

3. Are there any characteristics that you disagree with?

"Couplets" series on healthy and unhealthy relationships | OneLove

Relationships Portrayed in Today’s Music

Knowing what we learned about healthy and unhealthy relationships, let’s look at the music we hear and listen to everyday. Answer the following

questions and follow instructions for this activity.

Today’s Music

1. What are a few songs that you like or songs that are popular in today’s pop culture? Listen to or look up the lyrics to these songs.

2. How do these songs make you feel?

2. Do these songs promote healthy or unhealthy relationships? Refer to any specific song lyrics to explain your reasoning.

2. What impact do you think these songs have on young people’s relationships?

2. What stereotypes do these types of songs say about relationships?

Healthy Relationship Quiz | LoveIsRespect

"Am I a Good Partner?" Quiz | LoveIsRespect

Reading Recommendations

Drama by Raina TelgemeierMiles Is the Boss of His Body by

Samantha Kurtzman-Counter and Abbie Schiller

#ConnectSupportReport

Protect Children During COVID-19

Potential signs of abuse, advice when suspecting abuse, & where to report

Additional Resources (Phone)

YWCA Silicon Valley

Available 24/7

Call 1-800-572-2782

Love is Respect

Available 24/7

Call 1-866-331-9474

Text loveis to 22522*

Crisis Text Line

Available 24/7

Text home to 741741

National Domestic Violence

Hotline

Available 24/7

Call 1-800-799-7233

Text 1-800-787-3222

Childhelp

Available 24/7

Call/text 1-800-422-4453

CA Youth Crisis Line

Available 24/7

Call/text 800-843-5200

Additional Resources (Websites)

YWCA Silicon Valley

Therapy services, support services, housing

support, child care centers, STEM education,

education and outreach

Love is Respect

Relationships 101, information and support

One Love Foundation

Education about healthy and unhealthy

relationships, how to identify and prevent

abuse, and learn how to love better

Teens Health

Physical, emotional, and behavior information

for parents, kids, and teens to make healthy

choices