MASTODON

MAMMOTH

VS.DEUCE(Part 2)

DamnRight!

After battling weeks of bad weather and 20,000 years worth of permafrost, scientists in Siberia have done the unthinkable—

excavated a 20,380 year-old woolly mammoth in hopes of cloning these Ice Age giants.

There it is!Yes! Victory! NowUse your laser beameyes to excavate theBeast!!

Shit! I forgotto get the laser beam upgrade!

HELL YES! Let’s Laser beam this mother fucker OUT!

What the sack? Are those laser beams I feel

on these old bones? Who the fuck is

disturbing me on the shabbos?

Laser beams

Laz0red!

Hell yes! I cannot wait until i have myown army of mammothclones to work in my factory making fuglygray baseball caps!

Sweet lamb of glory! The beast

has risen from the

belly of the earth!

Yes, I have risen from theearth! Those damn laserbeams made me all scorchinghot. Could you please direct me to a Mammoth SwimmingPool?

The only swimmingYou’ll be doing is in the

gene pool! PREPRE TO BE CLONED!

Mwah ha ha ha! The rising of my old enemy, The Mammoth, has

also resurrected me, The Mastodon! Now it is time for me to seek my revenge! I am SO ready

to tear The Mammoth’s ass up!

Are you ready to fight me, you smelly

Mammoth? Prepare yourself for a severe

ass wailing!

Oh shits! It’s that crazy mother fucker

The Mastodon! I need to summon my bad ass super powers!

That’s right! Fear this sweet-ass cape and the

sweet-ass beating that’s coming your way,

Mastodon!

HA! Your cape and mask are inferior to my swanky-

ass bow tie and BOWLER! Come here so I can kick

your ass with this cane that makes me look suaver than

a mother fucker!

DAMN! He’s not fuckingaround with that bad ass

MONOCLE!

BRING ITBITCH!

POW!ZAP!

BANG!

Wait, Mastodon! Don’t you think that in this day and age - after millions of

years have passed - that we can bury the poorly underdeveloped hatchet of

our time and make amends? Why are we fighting over things that don’t matter anymore? We should unite

and kick some cloning mother fuckers’ asses!

You know, you may be a smelly ol’ mammoth, but you do have a point. We need to protect ourselves against

the evil scientists. These trying times have really brought us

together, it seems. If my heart hadn’t decomposed 10,000 years ago, I bet it would be swelling with

joy right now.

AUGGGGGGGGH!NOT MY LASER

EYES!

You think you are so smart by killing my assistants and stealing their laser eyes! Well, who will have the last laugh when Iam able to clone mammoths and mast-odons with laser eyes!?! Mwah ha ha!FOOLS! Your prehistoric minds can’t Fathom what you’ve just done!

Laz0red!

ARRRG!I have been

Laz0red!Defeated.By. The.

Enemy. *dies*

Well, friend, we defeated the evil scientists! How about a high five up in this mother fuckin’ house?!

FRIEND!? Mwah ha ha ha ha!You foolish old Mastodon!

FOR THE LOVE OF

MONOCLES…NOOOOOOOO

OO! *dies*

Mastodon

For the love of monocles….HELL

YES, MOTHER FUCKER! Face it Mastodon, you’ve

just been SASSED!

WELCOMETo

THE MAMMOTHSWIMMING POOL!

Diving board

I am readyTo cannon ball the fuck out of this MammothSwimming Pool!

THE END!