Marriage and Family Therapists: What Is In It for You? An Overview of the Field of Marriage...

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Marriage and Family Therapists:Marriage and Family Therapists:

What Is In It for You?What Is In It for You?An Overview of the Field of Marriage Education An Overview of the Field of Marriage Education

by by Carolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D. Carolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D.

Patty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.CPatty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.C..

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Dennis Stoica, MBADennis Stoica, MBACarolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D.Carolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D.

Patty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.C.Patty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.C.Jason KrafskyJason KrafskyKerri StrongKerri StrongRalph JonesRalph Jones

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The Origins of Marriage EducationThe Origins of Marriage Education

- Marriage Education MovementMarriage Education Movement

- Diane Sollee, MFT, AAMFT, 1989Diane Sollee, MFT, AAMFT, 1989

- Country’s rampant divorce rate Country’s rampant divorce rate

- Social breakdownSocial breakdown

- More skilled therapistsMore skilled therapists

- No difference in 50% divorce rateNo difference in 50% divorce rate

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ConvergenceConvergence

Handful of colleagues Handful of colleagues determined to find determined to find ways of saving ways of saving relationshipsrelationships

Investigating the Investigating the determinants of determinants of marital outcomesmarital outcomes

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Marriage Savers

• Newspaper Man• Modesto, CA• Community Marriage

Policy• 50% reduction of

divorce rate• 20 years• 200 + communities

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Crisis Creates Opportunity - SolleeCrisis Creates Opportunity - Sollee

-Marriage Education: -Marriage Education: Couples learn and practice skills Couples learn and practice skills that foster marital success.that foster marital success.

-Sollee-Sollee(1) The Coalition for Marriage, (1) The Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education Family, and Couples Education (CMFCE).(CMFCE).(2) Smart Marriages(2) Smart Marriages®®Comprehensive Marriage Education Comprehensive Marriage Education clearinghouse clearinghouse

(3) Annual Conference: Best and (3) Annual Conference: Best and Brightest in Marriage EducationBrightest in Marriage Education

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Divorce Rate Correlates - CouplesDivorce Rate Correlates - Couples

• Decreased Mental And Physical Decreased Mental And Physical Health Health

• Shorter LifeShorter Life• Lower Income Lower Income • Increased Risk Of PovertyIncreased Risk Of Poverty• Lower Productivity At WorkLower Productivity At Work• Increased Domestic ViolenceIncreased Domestic Violence• More Crime And Violent More Crime And Violent

CrimeCrime• Higher Rates Of SuicideHigher Rates Of Suicide• Damaged Relationships With Damaged Relationships With

Their ChildrenTheir Children

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Divorce Rate Correlates - ChildrenDivorce Rate Correlates - Children

• Children who live with Children who live with their own two married their own two married parents parents

• Physical healthPhysical health• Higher rates of graduating Higher rates of graduating

from collegefrom college• Achieve higher status jobsAchieve higher status jobs• Less divorce in own lifeLess divorce in own life• Less truancyLess truancy• Less antisocial behavior Less antisocial behavior • Delay becoming sexually Delay becoming sexually

activeactive

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Cost of DivorceCost of Divorce

-The personal cost of -The personal cost of divorce:divorce:

●●Emotional Emotional ●● Financial Financial ● ● Family turmoil Family turmoil -The break-up rate for -The break-up rate for

cohabitating couples is cohabitating couples is even greater.even greater.

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Public Cost of DivorcePublic Cost of Divorce

-County, state, federal and -County, state, federal and taxpayer coststaxpayer costs

-The overall social services cost -The overall social services cost estimated at $30,000 per estimated at $30,000 per divorcedivorce

-With California's divorces -With California's divorces 150,000 annually 150,000 annually

-Total: $4.5 billion each year -Total: $4.5 billion each year from government fundsfrom government funds

-Money goes to divorce clean-up -Money goes to divorce clean-up and “adjustment”, not divorce and “adjustment”, not divorce preventionprevention

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Seeking Cultural ChangeSeeking Cultural Change

-Create full public -Create full public awareness awareness

-Marriage is skills-based -Marriage is skills-based

-Skills can be learned-Skills can be learned

-Acquiring skills part of -Acquiring skills part of everyone’s lifeeveryone’s life

-Enormous Challenge-Enormous Challenge

-Time for action-Time for action

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Healthy Marriage InitiativeHealthy Marriage Initiative

-Administration for Children and -Administration for Children and FamiliesFamilies

-Dr. Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary -Dr. Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary for Children and Families states:for Children and Families states:

““Our emphasis is on healthy Marriage – not Our emphasis is on healthy Marriage – not marriage for the sake of marriage at any cost – marriage for the sake of marriage at any cost – but healthy marriages that provide a strong and but healthy marriages that provide a strong and stable environment for raising children. It is stable environment for raising children. It is about helping couples who choose marriage for about helping couples who choose marriage for themselves gain access to the skills and themselves gain access to the skills and knowledge necessary to form and sustain knowledge necessary to form and sustain healthy marriages.” healthy marriages.”

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Federal FundingFederal Funding

Healthy Marriage Demonstration Healthy Marriage Demonstration Grants, 2006Grants, 2006

-$150 Million each year over the next -$150 Million each year over the next five years for Healthy Marriages five years for Healthy Marriages and Promoting Responsible and Promoting Responsible Fatherhood grantsFatherhood grants

-Funding 224 of the most promising -Funding 224 of the most promising projectsprojects

-A cautious first step to assess the -A cautious first step to assess the potential value of Marriage potential value of Marriage Education to strengthen marriages Education to strengthen marriages and families and families

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Complex Divorce ProblemComplex Divorce Problem

• No-Fault divorceNo-Fault divorce• Belief systems: Lucky in Love, Soul MatesBelief systems: Lucky in Love, Soul Mates• Commitment phobicCommitment phobic• Over valuing marriageOver valuing marriage

• Better to have a child out of wedlock than get Better to have a child out of wedlock than get divorceddivorced

• Under value marriageUnder value marriage• The first marriage is just practiceThe first marriage is just practice

• Most couples do not know how to create and Most couples do not know how to create and sustain a strong and successful marriagesustain a strong and successful marriage

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30 Years of Research30 Years of Research

John Gottman’s Research John Gottman’s Research ““Love Lab” Love Lab” University of Washington University of Washington

• Gottman’s Gottman’s • Six predictors of marital Six predictors of marital

successsuccess• Ability to predict divorceAbility to predict divorce

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3 Streams of Marriage Education3 Streams of Marriage Education

1. Teaching relationship skills to couples1. Teaching relationship skills to couples2. Raising cultural awareness about the benefits of 2. Raising cultural awareness about the benefits of

a healthy marriage for couples, their children a healthy marriage for couples, their children and for societyand for society

3. Making realistic expectations for marriage

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Research Supporting Marriage EducationResearch Supporting Marriage Education

-A meta-analysis of 20 different marriage programs-A meta-analysis of 20 different marriage programs- 85 studies involving 3,886 couples 85 studies involving 3,886 couples - Demonstrate program effectiveness Demonstrate program effectiveness

-The average couple participating improved their behavior and relationship

-They were better off than more than 2/3 of the couples that didn’t participate in any program

*Giblin, Enrichment Outcome Research: A Meta-Analysis of Premarital, Marital and Family Interventions, 1985

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More ResearchMore Research

• A meta-analysis of 16 studies:A meta-analysis of 16 studies:• Communication skills Communication skills

marital satisfaction marital satisfaction other relationship qualities:other relationship qualities:

• After training, After training, 83% outperform83% outperformcouples without trainingcouples without training

**Butler & Wampler, A Meta-Analysis on Research Butler & Wampler, A Meta-Analysis on Research on the Couple Communication Program , 1999on the Couple Communication Program , 1999

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Even More Research – Even More Research – Longitudinal Study MELongitudinal Study ME

• High relationship satisfaction High relationship satisfaction • Sexual satisfactionSexual satisfaction• Lower problem intensity Lower problem intensity

Three years after trainingThree years after training::• Greater communication skills Greater communication skills • Less negative communication Less negative communication

patterns patterns

12 years after training: 12 years after training: • Greater conflict-management skillsGreater conflict-management skills• Fewer instances of physical Fewer instances of physical

violence 3-5 years after training.violence 3-5 years after training.**Markman et.al, Prevention of Marital Distress: Markman et.al, Prevention of Marital Distress:

A Longitudinal Investigation: (1988) A Longitudinal Investigation: (1988) Preventing Marital Distress Through Preventing Marital Distress Through Communication and Conflict Management Communication and Conflict Management Training (1993)Training (1993)

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The Research ContinuesThe Research Continues

• A meta-analysis of over 100 A meta-analysis of over 100 studies on the impact of studies on the impact of Marriage Education, Marriage Education,

• Researchers found evidence Researchers found evidence

• reduced strifereduced strife

• improved communication, improved communication,

• increased parenting skills, increased parenting skills,

• increased stability, increased stability,

• enhanced marital happiness.enhanced marital happiness.

* Fagan, Patterson, & Rector, Marriage & Welfare Reform: The Overwhelming Evidence that Marriage Education Works, 2002

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Consciousness-Raising CampaignsConsciousness-Raising Campaigns

1. 1. The “10,000 signs The “10,000 signs project” project”

2. Ultramercials2. Ultramercials

Create: 40,000 Create: 40,000 inquiriesinquiries

3. Public Service 3. Public Service AnnouncementsAnnouncements

4. Events4. Events

5. Newspaper columns5. Newspaper columns

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Many Different Types of Marriage Education Programs

• University Extension University Extension ProgramsPrograms

• Out of the Box Out of the Box ProgramsPrograms

• Train the Trainer Train the Trainer ProgramsPrograms

• Various ethnic groupsVarious ethnic groups

• Different Life Stages• Different Relationship

problems• Different venues• Secular or Faith-based• Qualifications for

leadership

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Program SelectionProgram Selection

• ResearchedResearched

• Award-winningAward-winning

• Reputation of authorReputation of author

• Experience of authorExperience of author

• Flexibility & CreativityFlexibility & Creativity

• Participant driven modelParticipant driven model

• Cost Cost

• TrainingTraining

• MaterialsMaterials

• Links to comprehensive Links to comprehensive servicesservices

• Support Services Support Services AvailableAvailable

• Language considerationLanguage consideration

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High SchoolHigh School

• Youth Relationship Youth Relationship Education ProgramsEducation Programs

• High School Health & High School Health & Psychology classesPsychology classes

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Partner Selection ProgramsPartner Selection Programs

• Smart Dating SkillsSmart Dating Skills

• Great ChoicesGreat Choices

• Being a Great Being a Great PartnerPartner

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Engaged CouplesEngaged Couples

• 20% decide not 20% decide not to marryto marry

• Need time Need time before before announcementsannouncements

• InventoryInventory• Learn skills Learn skills

readily readily

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Marriage Enhancement & Marriage Enhancement & Marriage Skills TrainingMarriage Skills Training

• Communication SkillsCommunication Skills• Conflict Resolution SkillsConflict Resolution Skills• Relationship MaintenanceRelationship Maintenance• Problem Solving SkillsProblem Solving Skills

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New Families ProgramsNew Families Programs

• Deal with Transition Deal with Transition from Couple to Familyfrom Couple to Family

• Communication SkillsCommunication Skills• Stress of New FamilyStress of New Family• Father InvolvementFather Involvement• Child DevelopmentChild Development

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Un-married low income Un-married low income pregnant couplespregnant couples

• Stability IssuesStability Issues• FinancesFinances• Communication & Communication &

Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution SkillsSkills

• ParentingParenting• Father InvolvementFather Involvement

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MentoringMentoring

• Modeling positive Modeling positive relationshipsrelationships

• Sharing knowledge & Sharing knowledge & ExperienceExperience

• Networking Networking

• Community Marriage Community Marriage PolicyPolicy

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Stepparent Programs

• Highest Incidence of Divorce

• Unique Problems• Programs for Kids

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Divorce Reduction ProgramsDivorce Reduction Programs

• 60% only one 60% only one person wants person wants divorcedivorce

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Usefulness of Usefulness of Relationship Skills Training Relationship Skills Training

-Diane Sollee observes, -Diane Sollee observes,

“…“…the skills taught are applicable the skills taught are applicable to all persons, to all persons,

whether single, married, whether single, married, cohabitating, gay/lesbian, and cohabitating, gay/lesbian, and regardless of religious or ethnic regardless of religious or ethnic backgrounds”backgrounds”

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Approved ME Curriculum

Hours per

Course

Leader Materials

CostParticipant Materials

Cost

Cost per Service Hour (Participant

materials only)

Cost per Service Hour (Including

leaders kits*)

10 Great Dates 10 $40/ leader kit $10/ couple workbook $0.50 $0.70

Bringing Baby Home 15

$250 instructor kit

$150 optional video series

$50 video "What is Baby

Saying?" $30/ couple $1.00

$1.83 instructor kit only

$2.50 with kit and videos

Connections: "Dating and Emotions" 17

$225/ leader kit

$6.50/ student workbook $0.38 $1.04

Connections: "Relationships and Marriage" 18

$225/ leader kit

$6.50/ student workbook $0.36 $0.99

FOCCUS Inventory 8 $50/ leader kit$20/ couple mail-in

scoring $1.25 $1.56

Love U2: "Baby Smarts" 10$265/ leader

kithandout reproduction

costs only negligible $1.33

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Our VisionOur Vision

Imagine: Imagine: “Impact of Communities“Impact of Communities

saturated with ME programssaturated with ME programs

for 15 Years.”for 15 Years.”

Educate the coupleEducate the couple

You change the familyYou change the family

You change the village You change the village

IMAGINE:IMAGINE: The ripple effect The ripple effect

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Phase II – The ChallengePhase II – The Challenge

• Penetrate the culturePenetrate the culture• Few people know what ME is Few people know what ME is • Most couples never take a ME classMost couples never take a ME class• Things to learn:Things to learn:

The best methods for reinforcing skills The best methods for reinforcing skills

How to integrate these skills into daily livesHow to integrate these skills into daily lives

How many Marriage Education classes the How many Marriage Education classes the average average person needs to take for their person needs to take for their “Relationship IQ” to “Relationship IQ” to reach sufficiencyreach sufficiency

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• Few charitable foundations support “Healthy Few charitable foundations support “Healthy Marriage” or ME as endeavorsMarriage” or ME as endeavors

• Our media - model poor relationshipsOur media - model poor relationships

• Our schools do not include relationship Our schools do not include relationship curriculacurricula

• Most medical professionals do not talk with Most medical professionals do not talk with their patients about the correlation between their patients about the correlation between overall health and relationship healthoverall health and relationship health

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• Graduate MFT programs do Graduate MFT programs do not not

require a couples therapy or require a couples therapy or ME trainingME training

• A Bipartisan Government A Bipartisan Government EffortEffort

• Use of State and Federal Use of State and Federal funds for preventionfunds for prevention

--

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““Meanwhile, our fellow human beings Meanwhile, our fellow human beings blithely continue to fall in love, get blithely continue to fall in love, get married or not, have kids and skid into a married or not, have kids and skid into a high probability of divorce/relationship high probability of divorce/relationship breakup, and experience numerous breakup, and experience numerous damaging consequences in their own damaging consequences in their own lives, in the lives of their children and for lives, in the lives of their children and for our overall society.” our overall society.”

Patty Patty HowellHowell

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To-Do List –To-Do List –We still have a long way to go!We still have a long way to go!

Penetrate public consciousness Penetrate public consciousness Increase awareness of the benefits Increase awareness of the benefits

of Healthy Marriages of Healthy Marriages Make Marriage Education a Make Marriage Education a

normal and expected part of the normal and expected part of the cultureculture

Help couples become well-Help couples become well-informed “masters of marriage”informed “masters of marriage”

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Our Dream for ProfessionalsOur Dream for Professionals

--We do not have to wait for couples to walk We do not have to wait for couples to walk into our office, their faces filled with pain, into our office, their faces filled with pain, at the 11at the 11thth hour of their marriage hour of their marriage

-Prevention-Prevention

-We can equip people with the skills for -We can equip people with the skills for marital successmarital success

-We can make generational changes-We can make generational changes

-The 21-The 21stst century can be the time when we century can be the time when we started to figure out how to succeed at started to figure out how to succeed at marital relationshipsmarital relationships

-Attitude – Grow Good Corn-Attitude – Grow Good Corn

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MFTs—A Vital Part

• TrainingTraining• KnowledgeKnowledge• ExperienceExperience• Connections Connections • Status Status • LeadersLeaders

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Benefits for MFT’s

• Increased need for services

• Couples asking for help sooner

• MFTs – Instrument of cultural change

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MFT InvolvementMFT Involvement

--Phase I: One MFT joined by othersPhase I: One MFT joined by others

-Phase II: NOW requires a deeper level of involvement-Phase II: NOW requires a deeper level of involvement

Create Cultural ChangeCreate Cultural Change

More than ME classesMore than ME classes

-Macro level vs. Micro Level-Macro level vs. Micro Level

THINK BIGTHINK BIG

THINK CREATIVELYTHINK CREATIVELY

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Avenues for MFT InvolvementAvenues for MFT Involvement

**Therapy: Become a Therapy: Become a marriage-friendly therapistmarriage-friendly therapist

Utilize relationship skills Utilize relationship skills

*Combine ME with therapy *Combine ME with therapy

*Teach ME classes *Teach ME classes

*Help us prepare for the *Help us prepare for the coming demand for classes coming demand for classes

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Join Your Professional Association

• Become an advocate for marriage & Marriage Education

• Join your local, state and federal organizations

• Help these groups become marriage advocates

• Become part of a community outreach program

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**FOUND/ LEAD Healthy Marriage FOUND/ LEAD Healthy Marriage Coalitions Coalitions

* BECOME a board member* BECOME a board member*EDUCATE the public about:*EDUCATE the public about:

Benefits of Healthy Marriages Benefits of Healthy Marriages The The correlation between ME correlation between ME and marital success and marital success

*WRITE articles*WRITE articles*HELP the media produce *HELP the media produce substantial articles built on solid data substantial articles built on solid data

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*Infuse other *Infuse other professionals with professionals with passion for marriagepassion for marriage

*Conduct research on *Conduct research on ME programsME programs

*Write grant applications*Write grant applications*Assist in acquiring*Assist in acquiring donationsdonations*Make a donation to your *Make a donation to your

local coalitionlocal coalition

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*The 1% Solution/ State & Local *The 1% Solution/ State & Local *Train and supervise Mentor Couples*Train and supervise Mentor Couples*Consult with Healthy Marriage Coalitions *Consult with Healthy Marriage Coalitions

on Domestic Violence on Domestic Violence *Refer couples to quality classes, books *Refer couples to quality classes, books

and resources on marital successand resources on marital success*Utilize your Healthy Marriage Coalition’s *Utilize your Healthy Marriage Coalition’s

websitewebsite*Develop specialized ME curricula and *Develop specialized ME curricula and

resource materials that build upon and resource materials that build upon and expand existing programsexpand existing programs

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Avenues for InvolvementAvenues for Involvement

BecomeBecome a Healthy Marriage a Healthy Marriage advocateadvocate in your practice in in your practice in your communityyour community

Government OfficialsGovernment Officials

Business LeadersBusiness LeadersMediaMedia

Tell them of the need forTell them of the need for

Low-cost, quality resources that Low-cost, quality resources that

help couples integrate relationship help couples integrate relationship skills into their everyday lives.skills into their everyday lives.

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Avenues for InvolvementAvenues for Involvement

*Join the Smart Marriages listserv (*Join the Smart Marriages listserv (www.smartmarriages.com).).

*Attend the Smart Marriages Conference annually*Attend the Smart Marriages Conference annually

*Walk the talk in your own relationship*Walk the talk in your own relationship

--increase your professional credibility --increase your professional credibility

--experience all the pleasures and benefits--experience all the pleasures and benefits

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Get in the BoatGet in the Boat

• Social change is sorely needed; Social change is sorely needed;

Broken relationships, broken families Broken relationships, broken families

Then pick up the pieces of their livesThen pick up the pieces of their lives

• There is space for everyoneThere is space for everyone

We are rowing a very large boatWe are rowing a very large boat

We need everyoneWe need everyone

Take an oarTake an oar

Contribute at your highest levelContribute at your highest level

• Everyone has a gift/part of solutionEveryone has a gift/part of solution

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What is your place in this movement?What is your place in this movement?

--Invest in creating social changeInvest in creating social change

-APPLY-APPLY

your knowledgeyour knowledge

your skills your skills

your vision your vision

your passion your passion

your dedicationyour dedication

-Together we can make a -Together we can make a

DIFFERENCEDIFFERENCE

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It’s For the ChildrenIt’s For the Children

Marriage and Family Therapists: What Is In It for You? An Overview of the Field of Marriage...

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