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ADOPTION-SHARE.COM

We have all heard the saying, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?  I ran cross country in high school and this was always my coach's response to complaints about what our run would consist of for the day.  In the beginning, I recall being comforted by this statement, as I saw truth in the flip-side of pain.  I knew however hard I pushed my body, I could count on it to work even harder later. But invariably as the cross country season waned, my coach's response became less comforting and more worrisome.  At the end of a long season, the shin-splints had come, and gone and come again.  The joint pain had become insufferable.  At this point as an athlete, I no longer worried about becoming stronger, I just wanted to know I wouldn't die.   Whether it is running or subjecting oneself to an arduous process, like getting a degree, finding a job, buying a house, beginning the adoption process or parenting,  I find that this parallel holds up.  The pain is always most tolerable in the beginning.  The further into our journeys, the more tired we become, the more insufferable our pain becomes. And that pain, depending upon the journey, can become excruciating.  Graham Cooke in his book God Revealed suggests that often it is in these

moments that a person will ask "why is this happening to me?"  But asking this

question provides us with very little answers.  And the answers that typically emerge from such questions are your run of the mill inspirational quotes, like, "God doesn't give us more then we can handle”...aka, “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,” and so on and so forth. Instead, Cooke suggests we ask this profound question: "God, who do you want to be for me right now?" That

question changes everything. It changes everything because its not up to me, or my strength in determining my fate.  Relying on my faith, I can ask God to meet me where I am. If eternity is knowing God, then it is possible that in every trial is an opportunity to experience and know a new part of this awesome Being. As Matthew McConaughey said in his Oscar acceptance speech, "everyone needs three things; something to look up to, something to look forward to, and something to chase."   If you find yourself far into a journey, burnt out, lost, and hurting, is your something to look up to Big enough to be for you what you need, when you need it?  My hope and prayer is wherever you are, you will allow the Someone you look up to an opportunity to be what you need now in the place that you are.  And all you have to do is ask.  

A word from our founderBy Anthea Ramirez, Chief Sharer

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Rick is a husband, father to two young men, pastor, and blogger. To check out his blog click here. Watching Maggie go through labor and delivery was the most terrifying thing that I have ever done… The joy that came when it was over though, in the form of a little bundle of crying, pooping, eating, and sleeping, was worth every ounce of fear, anguish, and physical exhaustion (obviously I cannot speak from a woman’s viewpoint). I had several of my friends who have been through childbirth with their wives call me to discuss some of the feelings and emotions that are invoked. They said things like “There’s really nothing like it is there?” And, “What a miracle childbirth is!” And after further reflection about our 37 hours of labor and delivery, I totally agree.  Now, I have to admit that when I was heading into this experience, I was actively thinking that there could be nothing as special as Grady and our adoption experience. I found myself thinking, “I really hope Han is as special to me as Grady. After all Grady I have been through together, it is going to be hard for another child to have as deep a place in my heart as Grady does.” Well, it only took minutes (maybe seconds) after Han had been born to realize that this was, simply put, ignorance on my behalf. The truth is that for me, adopting Grady was the hardest thing I have ever

been through in my life. Those airplane rides, and that 6 hour layover in the Frankfurt airport really showed me the meaning of agape love. And the months following at home with Grady were similarly extremely difficult for me, maybe more (I will post something on here at some point describing all this). And because of how adoption is treated and misunderstood, some of the insanely insensitive comments I have received about adoption, and the general pride there is in having a baby from some mothers, I subconsciously or possibly consciously wanted adopting to be better, more special, and more Godly than bio-birth. Well guess what. It’s not. And guess what. It doesn’t work the other way either. Bio is not better than adoption. 

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Continued on page 3

The Truth About Comparing Adoption and Bio-Birth Rick Turner

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The overwhelming feelings that I have had about our family now is that both of these children have been my sons from the beginning of time. Both of these boys were divinely planned to be Turners. Both of them were chosen to be children to Maggie and me, brothers to each other, co-owners of 2 incredibly annoying and loving dogs, and eventually Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket fans. God exists outside of time. Actually time, is incredibly feeble to God. It cannot exist without space, and we can only experience it in one direction. And God has just been saying to me over and over again, like the line in Juno, these 2 boys were always mine.  So the question for me is really why did I feel the need to compare, to make sure that I knew and let everyone else know which method of having a family is better. And I think the answer to this is the aforementioned idea that I held onto – ignorance. I had no idea what to expect with Han. I already knew how special and miraculous adoption is. I

had no idea though just how special and miraculous childbirth is. But ignorance in my life and in the lives of others compelled me for 9 months.  The truth about comparing adoption and bio-birth: there is no legitimate comparing of the 2. It would be like trying to compare apples to cigarettes. Just can’t be done. Both are the pinnacle examples of love, hard work, Godliness, beauty, the miraculous. One is not better than the other. One is not more beautiful than the other. For me, adoption was harder, and I know that for Maggie childbirth was harder. I think the moral of the story is that ignorance is o.k., and actually it may be unavoidable. We are just not

going to be able to understand everything. But when we act and make judgments and form opinions based upon our own ignorance, that is when the damage is done. If there is something that you do not understand, fight to understand it before condemning it or pronouncing one way better than another. Our call is not to do damage, but to be unified, be mature, and attain to the measure of the fullness of Christ.

The Truth About Comparing Adoption and Bio-Birth (continued from page 3)

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Recently, we had the pleasure of Facebook meeting a comedian turned comic artist who quit his day job after he and his wife welcomed their first son and daughter through adoption. Being a stand up comedian meant tight travel schedules and long trips on the road. Having been versed in adoption language, Christian knew for attachment to happen, he would need to make some changes to his schedule and be home more often.

Thus ForeverFamilyComic.com was birthed in the fall of 2013, a series of comics, the story of which follows Christian and his wife Melody’s real-life adopted family. Christian and Melody adopted CJ and his sister Mia, about 3 years ago. Then, in a baffling moment, found out Melody was pregnant with Ollie last year…. After 18 years of marriage. Christian and Melody really want to get the word out about adoption and share it in their own unique way.

Christian purports that his comic strips really helps get the word out about adoption. Where others have failed to meaningful talk about uncomfortable topics like multi-race adoption, Christian and his creative family have found an avenue their growing audience can both understand and engage.

Keeping it Real....The Art of Storytelling Through Comics

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Calling all home study approved adoptive families living in the following states: ALABAMA, ALASKA, and ARKANSAS. Join adoption-share.com today and save 50% off your annual subscription! Write in 50 STATES when asked who referred you during

registration.

Stay tuned for our April Issue of Share Monthly where we interview PGA Tour Player, Masters Champion, and

Adoptive Father Bubba Watson and his wife Angie!

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