Management of marriage event

www.spandane.com

www.spandane.com

MMaannaaggeemmeenntt ooff MMaarrrriiaaggee EEvveenntt

CCoommppiilleedd bbyy SSppaannddaannee

www.spandane.com

www.spandane.com

Index - Management of Marriage Event

Sr. No. Topic

00 Marriage Event Preface

01 Marriage Agreement

02 Marriage Reception Invitation List

03 Marriage Dinner Menu

04 Marriage Expenses – Category wise

05 Invitation

06 Invitation -1

07 Marriage Expenses – Budget & Actual

08 Marriage Decision Tree

09 Match Making & Happy Married Life

10 Marriage Expectations & Opinions

11 Match Making

12 Married Life

13 Predictions about Child

14 Tips for establishing & improving Relationship

15 Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides

16 Behaviour Therapy for would be Bridegrooms

17 Three Stages of Marriage

18 Hard Facts about Marriage

19 Love Marriage

Management of Marriage Event Preface

It is said that ‘Marriage Knots’ are tied in the ‘heaven’ but executed on ‘earth’.

Marriage is one of the most important events in the life of every person. It is often said

jokingly that ‘Marriage is such a ‘Ladoo’ that whosoever eats the said Ladoo repents as

much as who does not eat.’

Joke apart. Marriage brings two families together. It also brings tension, more so for

bride’s parents.

This has prompted me to compile notes on this event. I had the experience of

executing marriage functions of my two elder brothers when I was in my twenties.

I also used this experience in co-coordinating marriage functions in my family.

One may recall character of ‘Narayan’ described by Late Shri P. L. Deshpande.

(Well known Marathi Author) after viewing this section.

The success of this event largely depends on clear decision making on various issues

and maintaining transparency with other family. All management principles such as

Planning, decision making, delegation, control and review have role to play in this

event.

I hope that various documents prepared in this section will serve as guide post to you.

I do not claim that this is the exhaustive planning of marriage event. However I have

made an attempt and tried to cover the basic facts. Your suggestions are most welcome.

You can send email to [email protected].

Best of Luck!!!!

Best wishes from Spandane

Sudhir Vaidya

Monday, August 09, 2010

EaI gajaanana p`sannaÊ EaI laxmaI naRisaMh p`sanna

01 ⁄ id. raojaI ivavaahacyaa baOzkImaQyao zrvaavayaacyaa gaaoYTI.

varacao naava – ica. vaQaUcao naava – ica.

1. ivavaah kaoNa%yaa pwtInao krNao. 2. ivavaahacaI tarIKÊ vaarÊ itqaIÊ mauhut-. 3. ivavaahsqaL ¹ 4. puraoihtaMcaI naavao ¹ 5. maulaacao va maulaIcao dovak zovaNaaraMcaI naavao ¹ 6. saaKrpuDyaacaI tarIKÊ mauhUt- ¹ 7. doNaI – GaoNaIÊ maanapana yaasaMbaMQaI cacaa- ¹

ÈÈ EaI ÈÈ

saaKrpuDa va ivavaah yaasaazI varpxaakDUna krNyaat yaoNaa–yaa gaaoYTI.

1. saaKrpuDyaasaazI vaQaUlaa saaDIÊ blaa}jaÊ prkr tsaoca AMgazI GaotlaI jaa[-la. mau#ya 4 À 5 maaNasaaMcao maana

kolao jaatIla. ³Alp ´ 2. ivavaahacao vaoLI vaQaUlaa maMgaLsaU~Ê naoklaosaÊ kanaatlao Asao saumaaro ga`^ma saaonyaacao daiganao GaalaNyaat

yaotIla. tsaoca jarIcyaa saaDyaaÊ SaalaU Ê blaa}jaÊ prkr ³ iSalaa[-sah ´ GaalaNyaat yao[-la. 3. mauulaacyaa baajaUnao ivavaahacyaa vaoLI haoNaa–yaa Qaaima-k ivaQaIMcaa Kca- gau$jaIMnaa ivacaa$na saaMigatlyaavar idlaa jaa[-la. 4. inamaM~Napi~ka tsaoca yaoNao jaaNao ³ p`vaasa ´ yaacaa Kca- p`%yaokanao svatM~ kravaa. 5. maulaIkDIla mau#ya maaNasaaMcao maana %yaaMcyaa saaMgaNyaap`maaNao zrvaUna kolao jaatIla.³ yaqaaSa@tI ´ 6. vyaahIjaovaNa maulaacao GarI zrvaUna krNyaat yao[-la. %yaavaoLI maulaIcao Aa[-Ê vaDIlaÊ Baa} yaaMcaa maana krNyaat yao[-la.

2

ÈÈ EaI ÈÈ

saaKrpuDa va ivavaah yaaMsaazI vaQaUpxaakDUna Apoixat gaaoYTI.

1. saaKrpuDyaasaazI ha^laÊ gau$jaIÊ Alpaophar sava- vyavasqaa va %yaasaazI haoNaara Kca- kravaaÊ %yaaidvaSaI maulaalaa AMgazI va SaT- dyaavaa. tsaoca maulaakDIla mau#ya 4 À 5 maaNasaaMcao maana kravaot. ³ maaNasao yaotIla.´

2. ivavaahasaazI maulaIlaa daiganao ³ AMdajao ga`^ma saaonyaacyaa ´ kravao. tsaoca maMgaLsaU~atIla 2 maNaI va

ekvaarI yaacaa Kca- dyaavaa. 3. ivavaahasaazI ha^laÊ koTrsa-Ê gau$jaI yaaMcaI saMpUNa- vyavasqaa va Kca- kravaa. sakaLI maulaakDUna

saumaaro maaNasao yaotIla va svaagatsamaarMBaasaazI saumaaro maaNasao AsatIla. %yaaMcaI sava- vyavasqaa kravaI. daonhI vaoLcaa maonaU ekmaokaMcyaa saMganamatanao zrvaavaa.

4. svaagatsamaarMBaacyaa paoSaaKasaazI maulaalaa hjaar $pyao va vardixaNaa mhNaUna $. dyaavaot. 5. maulaacaI Aa[-Ê vaDIlaÊ %yaaMcao jaava[- va CaoTI naat tsaoca kakaÊ kakU Ê maamaaÊ maamaIÊ

krvalyaaÊ maavaSyaa yaa savaa-Mcao maana kravaot. ³ yaqaaSa@tI ´ 6. vaajaM~I sana[-Ê caaOGaDa tsaoca faoTaoÊ ivhiDAaoSauiTMga yaaMcaI vyavasqaa kravaI. ³ haOSaIp`maaNao ´ 7. ivavaahacyaa idvaSaI $Kvat jamaola tsao maaMDavao. %yaamaQyao kaca saamaana va sTIlacaI BaaMDI Aijabaat nakao. 8. maulaIsaazI mauhut-maNaIÊ jaaoDvaIÊ ivaKlyaa kravyaat. 9. saaKrpuDa va ivavaah daonhI idvaSaI laagaNaaro harÊ poZoÊ Axata hLdIkuMkU yaaMcaI vyavasqaa kravaI. 10.g`ahmaK va koLvaNa p`%yaokanao svatM~ kravao.

EaI [-SvarkRponao ivavaahacaa zrlaolaa ha SauBasamaarMBa daonhI baajaUMnaI ekmaokaMcyaa sahkayaa-nao AanaMdat par paDavaa.

raga ¹ $savao TaLavaot. baOzk yaSasvaI JaalaI. baOzkIlaa hjar AsaNaa–yaaMcyaa sa*yaa. kLavao Aa. snaohaMikt

02 / Invitation List - Marriage Reception on Sr. No.

Name Telephone No. of persons

RSVP Date

A Father’s Relatives & Friends:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total Sr. No.

Name Telephone No. of persons

RSVP Date

B Mother’s Relatives / Friends:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total 59

2 Sr. No.

Name Telephone No. Of persons

RSVP Date

C Neighbours: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total Sr. No.

Name Telephone No. Of persons

RSVP Date

D Son’s friends, colleagues etc.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total

3

E Daughter’s friends, colleagues etc.:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total

03 / Marriage Reception on (Dinner Menu)

Sr. No.

Category @ Rs. Per head

Suggested Menu

1 Welcome Drink Kala Khatta 2 Starter Cheese Corn Ball 3 Sweets Gulab Jamun, Shrikhand 4 Indian Bread Phulka Roti, Puri 5 Farsan Dahi Vada 6 Gujarati Vegetable

Punjabi Vegetable Panner Butter Masala

Tava Bhaji 7 Dal-Kadhi Dal Fry 8 Rice Jeera Fried Rice 9 Salad Green Salad, Alu Chat 10 Curd Raita Bundi Raita 11 Ice cream Hot Chocolate with vanilla 12 Mineral Water 20 Liter Jar

Other Arrangement Sr. No.

Rs.

1 Series Light 2 Stage 3 Raja Rani Chairs & 2 Sofa sets 4 Stage Background 5 Gate Toran 6 Video Shooting 7 Photographer

04 / Marriage Expenses ( Marriage on & Reception on ) Sr. No.

Date Particulars Bank/Cash Paid by Total Rs.

Gold Orn.

Bride Groom

BG’s Family

Bride Bride’s Family

Marriage & Reception

Misc. Presents

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33

2

34 35 36 37 38 39 41 42 43 44 45 46 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66

Gross Marriage expenses Less Cash Presents recd. Net Marriage expenses

3

Sr. No.

Date Misc. Particulars Bank/Cash Paid by

Total Rs.

Hotel Exp.

Conv. Honey moon

Advocate Notary

Donation Invitation cards

Photos

Total Misc. Expenses

“Shree Ganesh Prasanna”

Mrs. Smita & Mr. Shreyas Naravane solicit your blessings

and request the pleasure of your companyat the reception & Dinner to

celebrate the wedding of their son

Vijay&

Vijaya(daughter of Mrs.& Mr. Ramchandra Pethe)

OnFriday 30-06-2008

Venue:Mega Marriage & Party Hall

Fine Tiles Compound, Near Gokhale School,Shimpoli Road, Borivali-west,

Mumbai-400092

Reception & Dinner: 6.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m.

[[Shree Gajanan Prasanna]]

We solicit your blessings and invite you To share in the joy of beginning

Of our new Life togetherOn

Friday 30-06-2008

Venue:Mega Marriage & Party Hall

Fine Tiles Compound, Near Gokhale School,Shimpoli Road, Borivali-west,

Mumbai-400092

Reception & Dinner: 6.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m.

Sau. Vijaya & Vijay Naravane

07 / Marriage Expenses – Budget & Actual Expenses.

Sr. No. Expenses Actual Budget

1 Engagement expenses 2 Gold Ornaments 3 Bride groom’s shopping 4 Bride groom’s Family shopping 5 Bride’s shopping 6 Bride’s Family shopping 7 Marriage expenses 8 Reception expenses 9 Presents to relatives & friends 10 Misc. 11 Honey moon expenses Total Less: Presents Received in Cash Net Expenses

08-Marriage Decision Tree

Sr. No. Decisions & Activity Responsibility Remarks

1.0 Marriage Knot: 1.1 To make horoscope of bride / bride groom. 1.2 To consult astrologer regarding marriage

prediction.

1.3 To decide on expectations such as education, service, height, age etc. of bride / bride groom.

1.4 To confirm from bride / bride groom that they are not in love. (Very imp.)

1.5 To register the name with Marriage web-sites, Marriage counsellor etc.

1.6 Whether horoscope should be matched? 1.7 To arrange get to together programme. 1.8 To execute marriage agreement. 1.9 Detailed marriage rituals or Vaidik pattern?

Or registered marriage by 30 Days notice under Special Marriage Act.

1.10 To make Marriage expenses budget. 1.11 To make Financing of marriage expenses. 1.12 To record Marriage actual expenses on day to

day basis.

1.13 1.14 1.15


2.0 Engagement: 2.1 Small function of close family members or

big function?

2.2 Number of guests? 2.3 List of guests to be finalized. 2.4 Time-Morning /Evening, Muhurata? 2.4 Location-Residence or Party Hall? 2.5 Part Hall-AC or Non-AC? 2.6 Booking the hall. 2.7 Menu? Breakfast or Lunch /Dinner? 2.8 To appoint Catering Contractor? 2.9 To convey final number of likely guests to

Catering Contractor.

2 2.10 Shopping: Ring, Suit, Sarees etc. 2.11 Priest’s appointment to be sought. 2.12 Other arrangements such as:

Welcome drink Sweets Decoration Photographer (No. of Photos to be specified) Flowers Conveyance arrangement Arrangement for make up?

2.13 Engagement Invitations to be sent. 2.14 2.15 2.16


3.0 Gold Ornaments: 3.1 Approx. weight of Gold ornaments. 3.2 Type of ornaments-Bangles, neck lace, ear

rings, Mangalsutra, chain etc.

3.3 Ornaments to be made as per order or to be purchased ready made?

3.4 Whether entire Gold is to be purchased? 3.5 Whether old gold to be used / exchanged? 3.6 Jeweller? 3.7 Fixing Time, day etc. for visit to Jeweller. 3.8 Whether shopping to be done in cash or on

credit card?

3.9 To make necessary arrangement of cash. 3.10 To take delivery of gold ornaments. 3.11 To ensure safety of gold ornaments and

taking them to marriage hall.

3.12 3.13 3.14

3 Sr. No. Decisions & Activity Responsibility Remarks

4.0 Bride groom’s shopping: 4.1 To decide on clothes, suits, casual wear,

shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary etc.

4.2 To decide the shop, mall etc. for shopping. 4.3 Whether suit to be stitched or ready made? 4.4 Whether shopping to be done in cash or on

credit card?

4.5 To make necessary arrangement of cash. 4.6 Trial with Tailor. 4.7 To take delivery of clothes. 4.8 To pack the clothes in a separate bag. 4.9 Arrangement for make up? 4.10 4.11 4.12


5.0 Bride groom’s Family shopping: 5.1 To decide on clothes, suits, sarees, casual

wear, shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary etc.


credit card?

5.5 To make necessary arrangement of cash. 5.6 Trial with Tailor. 5.7 To take delivery of clothes. 5.8 To pack the clothes in a separate bag. 5.9 5.10 5.11


6.0 Bride’s shopping: 6.1 To decide on Sarees, Punjabi suits, casual

wear, matching bangles and other ancillary etc.

6.2 To decide the shop, mall etc. for shopping. 6.3 Whether Punjabi suits to be stitched or ready

made?

6.4 Whether shopping to be done in cash or on credit card?

6.5 To make necessary arrangement of cash. 6.6 Trial with Tailor. 6.7 To take delivery of sarees after fall & bidding

etc.

6.8 To pack the clothes in a separate bag. 6.9 Arrangement for make up? 6.10 6.11 6.12


7.0 Bride’s Family shopping: 7.1 To decide on clothes, suits, sarees, casual

wear, shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary etc.


credit card?

7.5 To make necessary arrangement of cash. 7.6 Trial with Tailor? 7.7 To take delivery of clothes. 7.8 To pack the clothes in a separate bag. 7.9 7.10 7.11


8.0 Marriage day: 8.1 To fix day? Muhurata? 8.2 Number of guests? 8.3 List of guests to be finalized. 8.4 Part Hall-AC or Non-AC? 8.5 Booking the hall. 8.6 Menu? Breakfast or Lunch-Dinner? 8.7 To appoint Catering Contractor? 8.8 To convey final number of likely guests to


8.9 Priest’s appointment to be sought. 8.10 Other arrangements such as:

Welcome drink Sweets Decoration Photographer, Video shooting etc.

(No. of Photos to be specified)

Flowers Conveyance arrangement

8.11 8.12 8.13


9.0 Reception: 9.1 To fix day? Same day of marriage or some

other day?

9.2 Number of guests? 9.3 List of guests to be finalized. 9.4 Part Hall-AC or Non-AC? 9.5 Booking the hall. 9.6 Menu? Breakfast or Lunch-Dinner? 9.7 To appoint Catering Contractor? 9.8 To convey final number of likely guests to


6 9.9 Other arrangements such as

Welcome drink Sweets Decoration Photographer, Video shooting etc.

(No. of Photos to be specified)

Flowers Conveyance arrangement

9.10 To depute responsible person to accompany bride / bride groom for collecting presents.

9.11 9.12 9.13


10.0 Presents to relatives & friends: 10.1 Whether presents to be given? 10.2 If yes, To whom? List to be made. 10.3 Monetary Range for Presents. 10.4 Whether resents to be given in kind or cash? 10.5 If presents to be given in kind, make list of

items to be purchased.

10.6 To decide shop, mall etc. for shopping. 10.7 To carry out shopping. 10.8 If presents to be given in cash, prepare

envelopes.

10.9 To pack the presents in a separate bag. 10.10 10.11 10.12


11.0 Miscellaneous arrangements: 11.1 Printing of Invitation cards:

To be printed in Marathi, English or both?

Make list of invitees with addresses. Make list of invitees to whom card will

be posted.

Prepare covering letter in case invitation card is to be sent by post / courier.

Number of cards to be printed? Format of invitation card?

Invitation by parents or invitation by marriage couple?

To contact Printing Press. Whether RSVP reply card to be sent?

11.2 To purchase postage stamps. 11.3 To prepare invitation envelopes with

RSVP card, affixing postage stamps or finalize arrangement with courier.

11.4 To post invitation cards. 11.5 To make telephonic reminders to

guests.

11.6 Tourist Taxi / Bus etc. to be booked. 11.7 To carry following bags containing:

Gold ornaments Bride groom’s shopping: Bride groom’s Family shopping: Bride’s shopping: Bride’s Family shopping: Presents to relatives & friends: Other items prescribed by Priest.

11.8 To make list of presents not given due to non attendance by guests. To decide whether presents to be delivered to their residence?

11.9 To make list of presents received. To deposit the cash in bank or use for settlement of bills?

11.10 To settle the bills of: Priest

8 Catering Contractor Photographer Car hire Make up Shopping (If on credit card)

11.11 To claim refund of deposit from Marriage hall.

11.12 To make return journey arrangement of relatives, guests etc.

11.13 To collect Album, CD etc. from Photographer.

11.14 To register the marriage under ‘Bombay Marriage Act’ within 30 days by filing Form D–Memorandum of Marriage. The said form is to be signed by Priest. Bride, bride groom and two witnesses should sign the said form in presence of Registrar of Marriages. Address proof, photo identity of all these persons is required to be submitted to Registrar.

11.15 To collect the Marriage certificate. 11.16 11.17 11.18


12.0 Honey Moon: 12.1 To decide Location. 12.2 To decide Mode of transport. 12.3 To decide Number of days stay. 12.4 Travel trough Travel company or

independent arrangement to be made?

12.5 Booking: Hotel Journey (to & fro)

12.6 To carry Cash, ATM card, Credit card Hotel booking, tickets, telephone diary etc.

12.7

ÈÈ EaI gaNaoSa p`sanna ÈÈ

9 ivavaah – gauNa – maolana pwit

ivavaah jamaivatanaa f@t gauNa saM#yaa 18 poxaa jaast AsalaI Aqavaa 28 Ê 30 Ê, 32 gauNa jamalao mhNajao ivavaah – saaohLa sauKkark haotaoca Asao naahI. ik%yaok vaoLa gauNa saM#yaa 30 Agar 30 cyaa var jamaUna sauwa ivavaahao<ar ADcaNaI yao}na ivavaah sauKat vaOgauNya yaoto. vaastivak jyaaoitYa Saas~ tsaM baGaayalaa gaolaM tr farca i@laYT Aaho. %yaatUna jyaaoitYa BaivaYya kqana krNaara ittkaca vaacaaisaiw Asalaolaa hvaa mhNaUnaca AamhI jyaaoitYa kqana krNaaro jyaaoitYa drraoja 21 vaoLa gaNapit – Aqava-iSaYa- mhNaUna jyaaoitYa kqanaat sau$vaat krtao. Asaao. hllaIMcyaa QakaQakIcyaa jaIvanaat va vaQau – var ]cca iSaixat AsaUna sauwa %yaaMcao palak va svat: vaQau – var Aapaplyaa pi~ka jyaaoitYaalaa daKvaUna gauNa – maolana krvaUna Gaotat. pNa p`%yaok vaoLolaa jyaaoitYaI Aaplyaa hakovar Asaolaca AsaM naahI. *yaa saazI tumha palak maMDLIMnaa jyaaoitYaaMcaI manaQaarNaI kravaI laagato. jasao Aaplyaa maulaacao ÀmaulaIcao saaQaarNa Daoko duKt Asaola tr tumhI lagaoca Da^@TrkDo Qaava Gaot naahI. Garat ËaosaIna Aqavaa t%sama gaaoLI Gao}na ta%purta [-laaja k$na Gaota. tsaoca jyaaoitYaakDo lagaoca Qaava na Gaota tumhI svat: Aaplyaa palyaacyaa pi~kocao gauNa maolana ka baro k$ nayao Æ haca ]VoSa laxaat Gao}na maI ek jyaaoitYaI *yaa naa%yaanao tumha sava- palakaMnaa vaQau – varaMnaa jaujabaI gauNa – maolanaacao iSaxaNa do}na svat:cyaa payaavar ]BaM krNyaacaa p`amaaiNak p`ya%na krIt Aaho. vaQau – varaMcaI pi~kot puZIla gaaoYTI tpasaavyaa laagatat jasao. 1 ) raSaI – maO~I 2 ) ga`h maO~I 3 ) naxa~ maO~I 4 ) gaNa 5 ) naaDI 6 ) yaaonaI 7 ) maulaIcyaa kuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavaoo tr maulaacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` −SauË va sap`maoSa mhNajaoca ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h sauuisqaitt Asaavaa. 8 ´ maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL tr naahI naa Æ 9 ´ ivavaah sqaana mhNajaoca saPt`ma sqaana “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaogaat tr naahI naa Æ 10´ ivavaah sauKacyaa kark g`ahavar mhNajaoca saPt`maoYaavar pap ga``hacaI _YTI tr naahI naa Æ 11 ´ ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h “ SauË ’’ “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaogaat Aqavaa pap ga`h _YT tr naahI naa Æ tsaoca maUL kuMDlaIt jar SauË knyaa yaa naIca raSaIt Asata ivavaah sauK caaMgalao imaLt naahI. 12 ´ ivavaahao<ar papga`hacaI mahadSaa Aqavaa kuMDlaIt 6 – 8 – 12 *yaa sqaanaI AsaNaa–yaa raSaI – svaamaIcaI mahadSaa tr naahI naa Æ yaoqao ek gaaoYT saaMgaaivaSaI vaaTto kI maUL kuMDlaIt 6 – 8 – 12 hI ASaUBa sqaanao jyaaoitYa Saas~at gaRiht QarlaI Aahot. *yaa sqaanaaMcao svaamaI pNa to kuNaIih Asaaot³ caMd` − gau$ − SauËasaarKo SauBa ga`h Asaaot´ to ga`h %yaaMcyaa mahadSaot caaMgalaI fLo dot naahIt. 13 ´ saPt`maoYa– ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h 6 – 8 – 12 sqaanaI Asata jaaoDIdarapasaUna ivavaah sauKacyaa Apoxaa k$ nayao. 14 ´ 6 – 7 – 8 *yaa sqaanaI jaastIt jaast papga`h nasaavaot. ASaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahUna magaca pi~kocao gauNa maolana kravao Anyaqaa 18 poxaa jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa puZo vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat kahI ivaprIt GaDNyaacaI Sa@yata Aaho. Aro hao || hao – qaaMbaa varIla sava- gaaoYTI tumacyaa Dao@yaava$na gaolyaa naa Æ m hNaUnaca tr maI tumhalaa varIla p`%yaok gaaoYTIcao sahja – saaoPyaa BaaYaot sPaYTIkrNa doNyaacaa p`ya%na krIt Aaho.

2 1 ´ raSaI maO~I : − puZo 12 raSaI va %yaaMcao svaamaI kaoNa kaoNa Aahot to idlao Aaho.1 ´ isaMh – riva maalak 2 ´ kk- − caMd` maalak 3 ´ maoYa va vaRiScak – maMgaL maalak 4´ imaqaUna va knyaa – bauQa maalak 5 ´ Qanau va maIna – gau$ maalak 6 ´ vaRYaBa va tulaa – SauË maalak 7 ´ makr va kuMBa – SanaI maalak. riva va caMd` yaaMnaa f@t ekca raSaI idlaI Aaho. baakI maMgaL – bauQa – gau$ − SauË – SanaI *yaa savaa-Mnaa daona daona raSaIMcao svaamaI%va bahala krNyaat Aalao Aaho.

−− : ga`haMcao – Sa~Uima~%va : −−

ga`h ima~ Sa~U riva caMd` Ê maMgaL Ê gau$ SanaI – SauË caMd` riva – bauQa *yaalaa Sa~u naahI maMgaL riva Ê caMd` Ê gau$ bauQa bauQa riva Ê SauË caMd` gau$ riva Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL bauQa Ê SauË SanaI bauQa – SauË riva Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL rahU gau$ Ê SauË Ê SanaI riva Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL kotU riva Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL SauË – SanaI

Aata varIla t@yaatUna vaQau – varaMcao gauNa – maolana krtanaa jar vaQaucaI rasa isaMh – ³ svaamaI riva ´ va varacaI rasa kuMBa ³ svaamaI SanaI ´ tr ga`h maO~I nasalyaamauLo *yaa daoGaaMcao ekmaokaMSaI pTNaar naahI va puZo vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat taNa – tNaava rahIla. ]dahrNa mhNaUna varacaI rasa kuMBa va QainaYza naxa~ va vaQaucaI rasa isaMh maGaa naxa~ 23.5 gauNa jamaUna sauwa ivavaah k$ naka Asaa inaNa-ya idlaa Aaho. pha ASaI Anaok ]dahrNao dota yaotIla tovha tumhalaa vaQau – var gauNa maolana krta yao[-la. ³ iTp – puZo gauNa – maolana krtanaa maI mauVamaca vaQaucaI rasa isaMh va varacaI rasa kuuuMBa ilahUna p`%yaxa gauNa maolanaacyaa inarinaraLyaa gaaoYTI tpasatanaa tumhI %yaa ksaaoTyaa kSaa laavaavyaat to ilaihNyaacaa p`ya%na krIt Aaho. ´ 2´ ga`h – maO~I : − punha vaQaucaI rasa isaMh va varacaI rasa kuMBa. isaMh raSaIcaa svaamaI riva va kuMBa raSaIcaa svaamaI SanaI. varIla ga`haMcao Sa~Uima~%va t%vaacaa ]pyaaoga k$na rivacyaa SanaI Sa~U mhNaUna ga`h maO~I nasalyaamauLo vaQau – varacao jaIvanaat vaOr inamaa-Na hao}na vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat taNa – tNaava inamaa-Na hao[-la. 3 ´ naxa~ maO~I : − jaSaI ga`hmaO~I – raSaI maO~I Asata vaOvaaihk jaIvana sauKkr jaato tsaoca naxa~ maO~I sauwa AsaavaI laagato maga tumhI jar jyaaoitYa Saas~at AnaiBaV ²² tumhalaa kSaI samajaNaar naxa~ maO~I Æ Gaaba$ naka ² tumhI tumacyaa palyaacaI ³ maulagaa À maulagaI ´ ka^mpITr kuMDlaI k$na Gyaa va %yaa kuMDlaIt “ taracaË ’’ mhNaUna ek t@ta Aaho %yaat varcyaa baajaUlaa “ janma Ê saMpi<a Ê ivapt – xaoma Ê p`%yarI Ê saaQak Ê vaQa Ê maO~I Ê AaGI– maO~I va %yaaKalaI naxa~ idlaolaI Asatat. %yaa t@tava$na tumhalaa naxa~maO~I kLU Sakola.´ 4 ´ gaNa : − ekUNa 3 gaNa Aahot. manauYya Ê dova Ê raxasa gaNa. dovagaNa – manauYya gaNa Ê Aqavaa raxasa gaNa ekmaokaMnaa caalau Saktao. manauYya gaNa – raxasa gaNa : ho vaOr daKivalao mhNaUna ivavaahalaa %maajya zrto. ek gaNa mhNajao manauYya – manauYya Ê dovagaNa – dovagaNa Ê raxasagaNa – raxasagaNa tr ivavaahalaa hrkt naahI.

3 pNa gaNaaMva$na maaNasaacao svaBaava ivaElaoYaNa hao} Saklao. dovagaNa − ]dar Ê papiBa$ Ê dusa–yaaMcao caaMgalao icaMtNaara. manauYya gaNa : AapmatlanaI Ê svaaqaI- Ê svat:caa svaaqa- saaQalaa kI maga maana ifrvaUna inaGaUna jaatat. raxasa gaNa : maaJaM to maaJaM AaiNa tuJaM toih maaJaca Ê kzaor AMt:krNaacaa Ê dusa–yaa ivaYayaI dyaa–maayaa Asat naahI. 5 ´ naaDI : − ek naaDI daoYa AsataM flaQaarNaa haot naahI. mhNaUna ek naaDI daoYa AsataM ivavaahalaa ga`a*ya Qart naahI. pNa *yaalaa kahIca AaQaar naahI. ek naaDI daoYa AsataM flaQaarNaa haoto pNa janmaalaa yaoNaaro Ap%ya kahI trI SaarIrIk – maanaisak daoYa Gao}na janma Gaoto. pNa jar ka vaQau – varaMcaI “ AaV naaDI vaa AMt naaDI ’’ AsataM flaQaarNaa hao} Sakto. Aata SaarIrIk va maanaisak daoYa mhNajao kaya Æ tr SarIratIla kuzlyaatrI AvayavaacaI pUNa- vaaZ haot naahI. kana – DaoLo – hat kuzotrI baarIksaa daoYa rahUna jaatao. Aata maanaisak daoYa mhNajao kaya Æ tr maoMdUcaI pUNa- vaaZ na Jaalyaanao AByaasaat to maUla yaqaatqaaca Asato. Aaklana Sai@t kmaI Asato %yaamauLo iSaxaNaat p`gait haot naahI. krIyar maQyao sauwa QaDaDI idsaUna yaot naahI. prMtu “ ]BayataMcaI – vaQau – varaMcaI ’’ maQya naaDI AsaUna jar ek naaD daoYa Asaola tr %yaaMnaa ekmaokaMpasaUna kQaIih flaQaarNaa hao} Sakt naahI. %yaamauLo jaIvanaat %yaaMnaa Ap%ya sauKasaazI eKado maUla d<akca Gyaavao laagaola. 6 ´ yaaonaI : − s~I À pu$YaaMnaa eKaVa janaavarap`maaNao Bar rs%yaat kamavaasanaa tRPt krta yaot naahI. %yaasaazI %yaaMnaa ivavaahbaMQanaat ADkUna AaplaI kamavaasanaa tRPt krta yaoto AaiNa mhNaUnaca jyaaoitYa Saas~at “ yaaonaIcaI ’’ vaga-vaarI janaavaraMcaI naavao do}na %yaa %yaa yaaonaIcaa Aqa- saaMigatlaa Aaho. %yaalaa mhNatat “ yaaonaI kuT ’’ *yaaMnaa janaavaraMcaIca naavao idlaI Aahot. jasao AEva Ê maoYa Ê sap- Ê Evaana Ê maajaa-r Ê mauYak Ê gaao Ê maihYaI Ê gaja Ê vyaaGa` Ê maRga Ê vaanar Ê nakula va isaMh ASaa 14 yaaonaI Aahot. mhNaUna tumhI vaQau – varaMcao gauNa –maolana krtanaa puZIla gaaoYTI laxaat zovaavyaat. gaao – vyaaGa` Ê maihYaI – AEva Ê Evaana – maRga Ê maajaa-r – maubak Ê isaMh – gaja Ê vaanar – maoYa Ê nakula ³ mauMgaUsa ´ – sap- ASaa prspr vaOr yaaonaI Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk sauKat mhNajaoca “ sao@sa ’’ sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na kQaI – kQaI GaTsfaoTih hao} Saktao va kaoT- %yaalaa saMmait doto. 7 ´ vaQaucyaa kuuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavao laagatat. ³ varIla ga`h SauBa isqaitt Aahot ikMvaa naahI to var idlaolyaa t@yaatUna tumhI pahU Saktat. tr varacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` − SauË va saPt`maBavaacaa kark ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavao laagatat. mhNajao nausato 18 ikMvaa %yaapoxaa jaast gauNa AsaUna varIla ga`h isqait caaMgalaI nasaola tr jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa vaOvaaihk jaIvana sauKkark hao} Sakt naahI. 8 ´ maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL daoYa tr naahI naa Æ Aata maMgaL daoYa mhNajao saaobatcaI kuMDlaI pha. maMgaL daoYa maMgaL daoYa QarIt naahI

maMgaL maMgaL maMgaL maMgaL maMgaL

9 maMgaL 1 maMgaL 6 maMgaL 10 maMgaL 4 maMgaL

4 lagna sqaanaat maoYa raSaIcaa maMgaL Asaola Ê catuqa- sqaanaI vaRiScak raSaIcaa maMgaL Ê saPt`masqaanaI makr raSaIcaa maMgaL Ê AYTma sqaanaI kk- raSaIcaa maMgaL va vyayasqaanaI QanauraSaIcaa maMgaL Asalyaasa tI maMgaL kuMDlaI mhNaUna gaNalaI jaat naahI. Aata maMgaL daoYaamauLo kaya haoto Æ tr ivavaah ivalaMbaanao haotao. ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yaotat. GaramaQyao tMTo Ê BaaMDNa Ê ASaaMtI vagaOro hao}na vaOvaaihk sauK pUNa-pNao ibaGaDUna ik%yaokda GaTsfaoT – ivaBa@tpNaa sauwa yao} Saktao. Aata maI tumhalaa dusara “ @lau ’’ dotao. pNa tao tumhI laxaat naahI zovalaa trI caalaola. %yaasaazI tumhalaa caaMgalaa jyaaoitYaca gaazlaa paihjao. varIla maMgaL daoYa kuMDlaIt jar riva maMgaL ga`habaraobar 8°AMSaat ³ yautI ´ Asata maMgaL daoYa naahIsaa haotao. tsaoca jar maMgaL daoYa AsaUna %yaa maMgaLavar gau$ ga`haMcaI SauË _YTI ³ gau$ga`halaa 3 SauBa _YTI Asato. 5 vaI 7 vaI va 9 vaI Asaola trIih maMgaL daoYa naahIsaa haotao.´ 9 ´ kuMDilatIla saPt`masqaanaalaa ivavaah sqaana mhNaUna saMbaaoiQatat ³ kRpyaa saaobatcaI kuMDlaI pha ´

ivavaah sqaana

rahU raavI SanaI hYa- naop

jar ivavaah sqaanaacaa puZo va maagao − rahU – SanaI Ê riva va hYa-la Ê naopcaUna Asao pap ga`h Asalao. ³ vaQau – varacyaa kuMDlaIt – Aqavaa ekTyaa vaQaucyaa À varacyaa kuMDlaIt ´ %yaalaa jyaaoitYa Saas~at “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaoga Asao mhNatat. [tr gauNa caaMgalao AsaUna sauwa jar ivavaah sqaana papkt-rI yaaogaat Asata ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na ivaBa>pNaa sauwa yaotao. mhNaUnaca nausato gauNa – maolana na krta varIla sava- inakYa laavaUna tumhI jar vaQau – varaMcao gauNamaolana kolao trca ivavaah saaohLa sauKacaa hao[-la. maga saaMgaa barM Aamha jyaaoitYaaMnaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahavyaa laagatat. Aaho ik naahI jyaaoitYaSaas~ca “ i@lasT ’’ Æ gauNa – maolana baVla AaNaKI barca kahI saaMgata yao[-la. pNa tumhI sava- “ baaoAr ’’ vhala. mhNaUna tUt- trI evhZI maaihtI malaa vaaTtM puroSaI Aaho. [it SauBama\ BavatU ²²

10. lagna – pUva-rMga ³ PaUva-tyaarI ´ lagna hI p`%yaokacyaa AayauYyaatIla ek mah%vaacaI GaTnaa Asato. lagnaacaI saaoPaI vyaa#yaa mhNajao pu$Ya va s~Icyaa SaarIrIk saMbaMQaaMnaa samaajaacaI maanyata imaLivaNyaacaa saaohLa. malaa klpnaa Aaho kI hI raoKzaok vyaa#yaa vaacaUna ba–yaaca maMDLIMcyaa kpaLavar AazI ]maTola. Asaao. lagnaabaVla tSaI tr barIca mato maaMDlaI jaatat. lagna ha ek jaugaar Aaho. lagna ha ek Asaa laaDU Aaho kI ha laaDU KaNaara jaovaZa pstavatao tovhZaca ha laaDU na KaNaarasauwa pstavatao. lagna ha ek daorIvarcaa KoL Aaho. lagna *yaa ivaYayaalaa ASaa irtInao Sabdbaw krtanaa maaNaUsa Gaabarlaa naahI tr navalaca. kahIhI Asaao. lagna ho Aaplyaa janma maR%yaU drmyaanacyaa p`vaasaatIla p`mauK jaM@Sana sToSana Aaho Asao mhTlao tr vaavagaoo haoNaar naahI. karNa [qapya-Mtcao ektfI- AayauYya kovaL iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI ASaa T/^kva$na caalat Asato. svat:caI kaLjaI Aa[-vaiDlaaMcyaa KaMVavar TaklaolaI Asato. prMtu lagnaanaMtr sagaLoca badlato. kaoNaacaI trI jabaabadarI KaMVavar pDto. inaNa-yaxamatocaI ksaaoTI laagato. ‘ maaNasao AaoLKNao ’ ho ek kma-kzINa kama kravao laagato. tDjaaoD krNao Ê naahI eokayacaI savaya baroca vaoLa lagnaanaMtrca laagatoÀ haoto. ima~aMnaao tumhalaa GaabarvaNyaacaI maaJaI maULIca [cCa naahI. ikMbahUnaa lagna *yaa ivaYayaasaMbaMQaI AaplaI maanaisakta tyaar krNao haca (a laoKacaa ]VoSa Aaho. lagna ho daona vyai@tMpurtoca mayaa-dIt rhat nasaUna ha daona kuTUMbaaMcaa p`Ena Asatao. pu$YaaMsaazI kdaicat lagna ha majaocaa samaarMBa AsaU Sakola pNa eka s~IsaazI maa~ ha varkrNaI majaocaa samaarMBa Asalaa trI manaatIla hUrhUr Ê kaLjaI Ê ToMnSana tI kaoNaabaraobar maaokLopNaanao baaolaU Sakt naahI. svat:cao Gar Ê Aa[-vaiDla Ê Baa} – baihNa yaaMnaa saaoDUna tI nava–yaacyaa GarI jaato. toqao navara saaoDUna itcyaa farsao pircayaacao kaoNaIca nasato. Aqaa-t navara sauwa lagnaapUvaI- iktI piricat haotaoÀ Asatao ho saaMgaNao kzINaca Aaho. saUnaonao À baayakaonao saasarI lavakrat lavakr tDjaaoD k$na sagaLyaaMcaI manao ijaMkavaI ASaI Apoxaa Asato .pNa navaromaMDLIMnaI inadana ASaI klpnaa kravaI kI lagnaanaMtr AapNa baayakaocyaa maahorI rhayalaa jaaNaar Aahaot va Aaplaa itqao AnaaoL#yaa jaagaI ksaa inaBaava laagaola va %yaanaMtrca %yaaMnaa ho iktI kma-kzINa kama Aaho yaacaI jaaNaIva hao[-la. Aqaa-t Garjaava[- haoNaaro mahaBaaga Aahotca. maulaacao ikMvaa maulaIcao lagna vaoLovar vhavao ASaI palakaMcaI [cCa va kaLjaIsauwa Asato. prMtu maaJyaa mato *yaa ivaYayaacaI jaovaZI pUva-tyaarI krNao garjaocao Aaho tovhZI tyaarI kolaI jaat naahI. Krotr SSC pya-Mt iSaxaNa JaalyaanaMtr maulaacyaa ikMvaa maulaIcyaa huYaarIp`maaNao puZIla ]ccaiSaxaNa Gaotlao jaato pNa %yaacavaoLI lagna *yaa ivaYayaacaa jarahI ivacaar kolaa jaat naahI. hI gaaoYT maulaIcyaa baabatIt ~asadayak haoNyaacaa saMBava Asatao. AayauYyaatIla lagna ha ek mah%vaacaa TPpa Aaho va %yaacaI vaoL hI iSaxaNa pUNa- k$na naaokrI vyavasaayaat ba–yaapOkI isqaravalyaavar Asato. lagna ho yaaogya vayaat haoNao puZIla AayauYyaasaazI mah%vaacao Asato. Aqaa-t ‘ yaaogya vaya ’ ho p`%yaokalaa zrvaavao laagato. palakaMnaI Aaplyaa palyaacao iSaxaNa caalaU JaalyaanaMtr Ê pi~ka jyaaoitYaalaa daKvaUna lagnaacaa yaaoga kQaI Aaho ho samajaUna Gyaavao. Paalyaabaraobar yaacaI cacaa- krNyaacaI garja naahI. prMtu *yaamauLo palyaacao puZIla iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI vagaOrosaazI iktI vaYaa-Mcaa AvaQaI imaLNaar Aaho *yaacaI klpnaa yao[-la. Aqaa-t lagnaacaa kahI ekca yaaoga nasatao. prMtu iSaxaNa va %yaanaMtr naaokrI laagalyaanaMtrcaa yaaoga na@kI kQaI Aaho ho kLlyaasa palakaMnaa svat:caI va palyaacaI maanaisakta tyaar krNao saao[-cao hao[-la. ha yaaoga maahItI na k$na Gaota lagna jauLvaNyaacao p`ya%na kolao tr Eama fukTca jaatIla. palyaalaa ivaiSaYT janma naxa~ Asaola tr iktI payapIT kravaI laagaola ho jaavao %yaacyaa vaMSaa tovhaca kLo ² jar ka Aaplaa palya p`omaat pDlaa nasaola tr ivavaahacaI pihlaI payarI ivavaahmaMDLacaI caZavaI laagato. hllaI maulaacao sauwa naava naaoMdvalao jaato va maulaakDIla maMDLI pNa maulaIMcaI sqaLo inavaDUna p`ya%na krtat.

2 naavanaaoMdNaIcyaa namaunaap~kat ek mah%vaacaa rkanaa Asatao saUnaobaVla Apoxaa ikMvaa jaavayaabaVla Apoxaa AaiNa Krotr gaaDI [qaoca ADto. karNa *yaa pÈnaacaa saaklyaanao ivacaarca kolaolaa nasatao. maga paokL SabdaMcaI maaL gauMfavaI laagato. ]da. manaimaLavaU Ê kt-bagaar Ê gaRhkR%yadxa Ê smaaT- Ê sauMdr vagaOro vagaOro. *yaa laoKacyaa SaovaTI ek jaM~I idlaI Aaho jyaayaaogao Aaplyaalaa ‘ Apoxaa ’ Sabd$p krNao saao[-cao hao[-la. tsaoca AaplaI ivaivaQa ivaYayaaMvarcaI ‘ mato ’ kaya Aahot ho hI pDtaLUna phata yao[-la. Aaplyaa Apoxaa va mato vyavaisqat Sabd$p krNao va %yaacabaraobar AaplaI tDjaaoDIcaI iktI p`maaNaat tyaarI Aaho ho zrivaNao garjaocao Aaho.Apoxaa zrvatanaa ikMvaa mato banaivatanaa samaaorcyaacaI sauwa kahI mato AsaU Saktat va Apoxaa AsaU Saktat *yaacao Baana AsaNao AavaSyak Aaho. mato va Apoxaa vyaavaharIk Asaavyaat va AapNa svat: *yaa Apoxaa iktI p`maaNaat pu–yaa krtao ho baiGatlyaasa AapNa banaivalaolyaa yaadItIla AitSayaaoi@tcaa Baaga AapaoAapca gaLUna pDola ASaI Apoxaa Aaho. p`stavanaa farca laaMbalaI. Apoxaa va mato yaaMcaI KalaIlap`maaNao vaga-vaarI kolaI Aaho.

1. SaarIrIk 2. iSaxaNa Ê baaOiwk 3. naaokrI vyavasaaya 4. kuTUMba 5. CMd Ê AavaD Ê savayaI 6. [tr baabaI

Aqaa-t p`%yaok maulaa À maulaIbaraobar ho sava- mau_o baaolaavao ASaI Apoxaa naahI. pNa vaiDlaQaa–yaa maMDLIMbaraobar cacao-tUna sauwa ba–yaaca gaaoYTI kLU Saktat. prMtu ekda GarcyaaMcaI pàqaimak psaMtI Ê jyaaoitYaacaa sallaa sakara%mak Asalyaasa Ê AMitma psaMtIpUvaI- maulaa–maulaIMnaI ek~ BaoTUna *yaa sava- mauVavar manamaaokLI cacaa- kravaI va %yaanaMtrca AapNa caaMgalao jaaoDIdar banaU Saktao *yaacaI Ka~I pTlyaanaMtrca AMitma psaMtI VavaI. yaa saazI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa caaMgalyaa irtInao ]pyaaoga haotao. *yaaca vaobasaa[-Tvar ‘ Match making what next ’ *yaa laoKat maaga-dSa-na imaLU Sakola. malaa Ka~I Aaho ik *yaa mauVaMnaa Anausa$na AMitma inaNa-ya Gaotlyaasa eka sauKd ivavaahacaI naaMdI hao} Sakto. Aqaa-t ek gaaoYT namaUd k$ [icCtao. *yaa sagaLyaa mauVaMcaI cacaa- JaalyaanaMtr Ê mato vya@t kolyaanaMtr sauwa maaNaUsa lagnaanaMtr badlaU Saktao. idlaolyaa Sabdap`maaNao vaagat naahI vagaOro gaaoYTI GaDU Saktat. prMtu hI sava- cacaa- kolyaanaMtr t$Na pIZI AMitma inaNa-ya GaoNyaapUvaI- Aaplyaa manaacaa kaOla Ê tDjaaoDIcaI tyaarI prt ekda tpasaUna baGaitla ASaI Apoxaa Aaho. mhNaUnaca yaSasvaI ivavaahacaI Sa@yata maaJyaa mato na@kIca jaast Asaola. AapNa jar ka samaaja manaacaa kanaaosaa Gaotlaa tr Anaok sauiSaixat maulaa–maulaIMcyaa ivavaahatIla kurbaUrI eokU yaotIla. *yaacao karNa ivavaah jauLNyaasaazI baroca vaoLa idsaNao Ê pgaar vagaOro gaaoYTI pàmau#yaanao ivacaarat Gaotlyaa jaatat. pNa lagna ho daona iBanna ilaMgaI vya@tIMmaQaIla AsalyaamauLo %yaaMcyaa AavaDI Ê inavaDI Ê mana yaacaa ivacaar far Kaolaat jaa}na kolaolaa AaZLt naahI. maI tr mhNaona kI lagnaat daona SarIraMcyaa imalanaabaraobarca daona manaaMcyaa imalanaacaa saMgama Apoixat Aaho. *yaa baabatIt jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa caaMgalaa ]pyaaoga hao} Saktao ho maI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa AByaasak mhNaUna mauVama namaUd k$ [icCtao. Aqaa-t tumhI iktI ivaWana jyaaoitYaakDo jaata yaavar ho AvalaMbaUna Aaho. tsaoca tumacaa *yaa Saas~avar pUNa- ivaEvaasa Asaola trca Asao kra. %yaacap`maaNao jyaaoitYakqana svaIkarNyaacaI manaacaI tyaarI Aaho ka yaacaahI kanaaosaa Gyaa. Asaao. jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa ksaa ]pyaaoga hao} Saktao ho qaaoD@yaat saaMgatao.

3 *yaa vaobasaa[-Tvar ‘ Astrology ’ *yaa sao@Sana maQyao vya@tIma%va AaoLKNyaacao zaoktaLo idlao Aahot. tsaoca naavaava$na Ê janmatarKova$na *yaa vya@tIMcaa ³ Ruling Planet ´ AiQaptI kaoNa va %yaa vya@tIcao kaoNaabaraobar pTto ho sauwa kLU Sakola. *yaa vyaitir@t pi~kotIla 12 sqaanaaMva$na %yaa vya@tIcaI barIca AaoLK hao} Sakto. jar ka GaratIla vaiDlaQaa–yaa maMDLIMnaa jyaaoitYaSaas~acao &ana ikMvaa taoMDAaoLK Asaola tr %yaa AnauYaMgaanao cacao-cyaa AaoGaat maaihtI imaLivata yao} Sakto. Asaao. pi~kotIla 1 lao sqaana : ³ lagna sqaana ´ vya@tIma%va Ê svaBaava Ê Aaraogya kLU Sakto. pi~kotIla 2 ro sqaana : ³ Qanasqaana ´ pOsaa Ê saMpi<a ivaYayaI maaga-dSa-na imaLto. pi~kotIla 3 ro sqaana : ³ praËma ´ BaavaMDo Ê p`vaasa vagaOro. pi~kotIla 4 qao sqaana : ³ gaRhsqaana ´ Aa[- Ê GaratIla vaatavarNa Ê Gar Ê vaahnasauK pi`~kotIla 5 vao sqaana : ³ saMttI sqaana ´ saMttI Ê iSaxaNa Ê p`omaivavaah vagaOro. pi~kotIla 6 vao sqaana : ³ Sa~usqaana ´ Aaraogya Ê haoNaaro raoga Ê Sa~u Ê naaokrI Ê maamaa vagaOro. pi~kotIla 7 vao sqaana : ³ jaayaasqaana ´ navara À baayakao Ê SarIrsauK vagaOro. Ê p`omaivavaah. pi~kotIla 8 vao sqaana : ³ maR%yaUsqaana ´ raoga Ê maR%yaUcao karNa vagaOro. pi~kotIla 9 vao sqaana : ³ Baagyasqaana ´ prdoSap`vaasa Ê Baagyaaodya kQaI Æ pi~kotIla 10 vao sqaana : ³ iptRsqaana ´ vaiDla Ê naaokrI Ê vyavasaaya. pi~kotIla 11 vao sqaana : ³ laaBaooSa ´ sava- p`karcao eohIk laaBa. pi~kotIla 12 vao sqaana : ³ vyayaoSa ´ Qaaima-k pIMD Ê jaIvanaatIla vajaa baajaU. Aqaa-t p`%yaok pi~kocaa evaZa Kaolavar AByaasa Sa@ya naahI *yaacaI malaa klpnaa Aaho. prMtu sauKkr ivavaahasaazI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaI madt hao} Sakto evaZoca malaa saaMgaavayaacao Aaho. tsaotr Axarava$na sauwa vya@tIma%vaacao baroca AMdaja sahjapNao kLU Saktat. tsaoca ‘ dohbaaolaIva$na ’ sauwa maaNasaacao mana kLU Sakto. *yaaca vaobasaa[-TvarIla Graphology AaiNa Interpretation of Body language caI maahItI vaacaavaI. malaa Ka~I Aaho ik varIla ivavaocanaap`maaNao ivacaar kolyaasa tumhalaa manaimaLavaU jaaoDIdar na@kI imaLola. tumacyaa vaOvaaihk sauKasaazI SauBaocCa ²²² 11.0 jaaoDIdarakDUna Asalaolyaa Apoxaa svat:caI mato 1.0 SaairrIk : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 1.1 ]McaI Ê ikMvaa ]McaItIla frk 1.2 vajana 1.3 baaMQaa 1.4 vaya À vayaatIla AMtr 1.5 vaNa- 1.6 caYmaa Ê Contact Lens 1.7 Blood group 1.8 lahanapNaapasaUnacao Aajaar Ê MC. 1.9 kosa. 1.10 kpDo kaoNato vaapravao Æ

4 2.0 iSaxaNa : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 2.1 iSaxaNa iktI Asaavao Æ 2.2 kaoNa%yaa SaaKotIla Æ 2.3 vyaavasaaiyak iSaxaNaacao maaQyama 2.4 vyaavasaaiyak iSaxaNa 2.5 iSaxaNa ApUNa- Asalyaasa ikMvaa puZo iSakayacao

Asalyaasa

3.0 naaokrI : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 3.1 naaokrI kSaI AsaavaI Æ sarkarI Ê KajagaI xao~ Ê

ba^Mk Ê avImaa Ê vagaOro.

3.2 pgaar 3.3 kamaacyaa vaoLa 3.4 huVa 3.5 naaokrIcaa kalaavaQaI 3.6 naaokrI iktI vaYao- kravaI laagaola Æ ³ maulaIlaa´ 3.7 naaokrI lagnaanaMtr jamaola ka Æ³ maulaIlaa´

³ rahNyaacao izkaNa badlaNaar AsalyaakarNaanao ´

3.8 Aaiqa-k vyavahar 3.9 prdoSaI À naaokrIsaazI jaayacaI tyaarI 3.10 vyaavasaaiyak jabaabadarI caalaU zovaavaI ka Æ 3.11 krIyar krNaarI ³ maulaIcyaa baabatIt ´ 3.12 naaokrI saaoDayacaI tyaarI Aaho ka Æ³ maulaIsaazI ´ 3.13 naaokrIcao izkaNa saasarpasaUna laaMba AsalyaamauLo

naaokrI saaoDavaI laagalaI tr dusarI naaokrI imaLU Sakola ka Æ

4.0 jaaoDIdaracao kuTUMba : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 4.1 svat:cyaa SahratIla ikMvaa javaLIla SahratIla 4.2 dusa–yaa rajyaatIla caalaola ka Æ 4.3 Aaiqa-k djaa- ksaa Asaavaa 4.4 Baa} Ê baihNaI vagaOro. 4.5 Aa[- vaiDlaaMcao iSaxaNa Ê huVa 4.6 jaat Ê paoTjaat 4.7 prQamaa-tIla caalaola ka Æ 4.8 ek~ rahNyaacaI ‘ tyaarI ’ ³ maulaI saazI ´ 4.9 ivaBa@t kuTUMba À ek~ kuTUMba 4.10 ekUlata À ekUlatI ek caalaola ka Æ

5 4.11 ]<ar hao Asaola saasarcaI jabaabadarI GyaayacaI

tyaarI Aaho Aaho ka Æ

4.12 kuTUMbaatIla vaatavarNa – Qaaima-k Ê puZarlaolao 4.13 v`atvaOklpacyaa Apoxaa Ê ]pasa vagaOro. 4.14 maahorI baayakaonao pOsao idlao tr caalatIla ka Æ 4.15 kja- ivaYayak tpSaIla 4.16 maulaInao kja- Gaotlao Asalyaasa prtfoD maanya

Aaho ka Æ

4.17 gauMtvaNaUk Æ 4.18 GarasaazI kja- Asalyaasa ikMvaa lagnaanaMtr Gar

GaoNaar AsalyaasaÊ baayakaokDUna Aaiqa-k hatBaar Æ

5.0 CMd Ê AavaDIinavaDI Ê savayaI : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 5.1 GarkamaacaI savaya 5.2 svayaMpak yaotao ka Æ 5.3 klaa ³ gaayana Ê ica~klaa Ê naaca vagaOro Ê KoL ´ 5.4 puZIla klaaiSaxaNa ³ maulaIcao baabatIt ´ 5.5 laa[f sTa[-la 5.6 svayaMpak krayalaa AavaDtao ka Æ

³ maulaIcyaa baabatIt ´

5.7 kaoNato kpDo AavaDtat Æ 5.8 lagnaapUvaI- saakar na JaalaolaI svaPnao Ê Qyaoya. 5.9 krmaNaukIcyaa klpnaa 5.10 TV caI AavaD Ê isanaomaa Ê naaTk Ê saMgaIt

maOfla.

5.11 Treaking caI AavaD Ê ifrNyaacaI AavaD Ê ha^Tolaat jaovaNao Ê Shopping.

5.12 Garkama yaoto ka Æ AavaDto ka Æ 5.13 savayaI dusa–yaalaa na AavaDNaa–yaa Æ 5.14 idnacayaa- Æ 5.15 vyasanao Æ 5.16 SaakaharI – maaMsaaharI Æ 5.17 vaacanaacaI AavaD

6 6.0 [tr baabaI : Apoxaa Ê mato tDjaaoD 6.1 pi~ka baGaavayaacaI Aaho ka Æ 6.2 f@t gauNaimalana ik flajyaaoitYa Ê

maMgaL Aaho ka Æ

6.3 lagna ksao kravao Æ vaOidk Ê Qaaima-k ik naaoMdNaIpwtInao Æ

6.4 pasapaoT- Aaho ka Æ 6.5 huMDa Ê vardixaNaa 6.6 sahcar naomaka ksaa paihjao Æ ima~ Ê saaMBaaLUna

GaoNaara Ê iTkakar Ê haoyabaa Æ

6.7 svaBaava : saBaaQaIT Ê eklakaoMDI À eklakaoMDa 6.8 saMttI baVlacyaa Apoxaa 6.9 Aga`Ëma Apoixat Æ ³ iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI Ê

kuTUMba Ê maulao ´

6.10 baayakaocao ima~ Ê nava–yaacyaa maOi~NaI yaaMcaobaraobar lagnaanaMtr ksao saMbaMQa rahavaot Æ

6.11 vaahna caalavata yaoto ka Æ 6.12 nasalyaasa Ê vaahna caalaavINyaacao iSaxaNa GaoNaar ka Æ 6.13 inaNa-yaxamata 6.14 vya@tIsvaatMHya

11 − ivavaah – gauNa maolana pwtI ivavaah jamaivatanaaa f@t gauNa saM#yaa 18 poxaa jaast AsalaI Aqavaa 26 Ê 30 Ê 32 vagaOro mhNaUna kahI ivavaah sauKkark haotaoca Asao naahI. %yaabaraobar [trih baabaI tpasaUna phavyaa laagatat. jyaa puZIla p`maaNao :

1. raSaI maO~I 2. ga`h maO~I 3. naxa~ maO~I 4. gaNa 5. naaDI 6. yaaonaI 7. maulaIcyaa kuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË tr maulaacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` −SauË 8. maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL daoYa tr naahI naa Æ 9. ivavaah sqaana mhNajao saPt`ma sqaana “ papkt-rI yaaogaat tr naahI naa Æ ivavaah sauKacyaa kark ga`havar mhNajaoca pyaa-yaanao saPt`maoYaavar pap ga`hacaI _YTI tr naahI naa Æ 10. SauË kI jaao ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h “ pap kt-rI yaaogaat ” Aqavaa pap ga`h _YT tr naahI naa Æ maUL kuMDlaIt SauË “ knyaa ” yaa naIca raSaIt tr naahI naa Æ 11. ivavaahao<ar papga`hacaI mahadSaa tr naahI naa Æ 12. saPt`maoYa 6 – 8 – 12 *yaa “ i~k sqaanaI ” ASaUBa sqaanaI tr naahI naa Æ 13. 6 – 7 – 8 *yaa sqaanaI jaastIt jaast pap ga`h tr naahIt naa Æ 14. sap`maoSa “ ivavaah saUKacaa kark ga`h" kRi<aka Ê maUL Ê AaElaoYaa Ê jyaoYza Ê ivaSaaKa Ê maGaa *yaa ËUr naxa~aMt tr naahI naa Æ ASaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahuna magaca gauNa maolana kravao. Anyaqaa 18 poxaa jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa puZo BaivaYyaat kahI ivapirt GaDto. *yaalaa kaoNa jabaabadar Æ jyaaoitYa Saas~ Æ ka AamhI jyaaoitYaI Æ Asaao. mhNaUnaca ivavaah pi~ka jamaivatanaa jyaaoitYaanao varIla gaaoYTI tpasaUna Aaplaa inaNa-ya Vavaa. var vaQaU 2 12

3 1 11

4 10

5 7 9 6 8

varIla p`maaNao varacao lagna ivaYama Asaola tr vaQaUcao sauwa ivaYama lagna Asaavao. tsaoca *yaacyaa ]laT raSaI baVla sauwa haca inayama laagaU haotao. tsaoca jyaaoitYa Saas~at Qama- i~kaoNa Ê Aqa- i~kaoNa Ê kala i~kaoNa va maaoxa i~kaoNa yaa sqaanaaMcao ga`h ima~ Aqavaa sama ima~ Asaavao. jasao kama i~kaoNa 3 − 7 – 11 sqaanaa maGaIla ga`haMcaI jar maO~I Asaola tr ivavaah sauK caaMgalao imaLto. Sa~u%va Asalyaasa ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yaotat. ³ varIla gaaoYTI tpasatanaa %yaa jyaaoitYaalaa *yaa Saas~acao &ana AsaNao AavaSyak Aaho ´ naaDI : − ekUNa 3 naaDyaa Aahot. AaV Ê maQya va AM%ya. 1. AaV naaDI : − kf p`vaRiM<a – SarIralaa ja$rI Asalaola vaMgaNa. puYTI dayak kama. 2. maQma naaDI : − ip<a daoYa – p`%yaok gaaoYT jaaLUna Taktao. 3. AM%ya naaDI : − vaat daoYa – kf – ip<a *yaaMnaa hlavaayacao kama. ekUNa kuT daoYa Aaz p`karcao phavao. 1. vaNa- 2. vaSya 3. tara 4. yaaonaI kuT 5. ga`h maO~I 6. gaNa 7. raSaI kuT 8. naaDI.

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1 vaNa- : xai~ya: madt na GaoNaaro. vaOSya: Happy go lucky. SaUd`: vaaTola to ÀpDola to kama krayacaI tyaarI. ivap`: Ambition, take efforts to achieve.

2 vaSya: 3. tara gauNa : − vaQaucyaa naxa~apasaUna varacao naxa~ iktvao Aaho tI saM#yaa kaZavaI. tsaoca varacyaa naxa~apasaUna

vaQaucao naxa~ iktvao Aaho tI saM#yaa kaZavaI. *yaa daonhI saM#yaocaI baorIja kravaI va %yaa baorjaolaa 9 nao Baagaavao baakI 3 Ê 5 ikMvaa 7 raihlao tr ASaUBa tara samajaavaa. daonhI Baagaakarat ASaI ASaUBa baakI raihlaI tr 0 gauNa samajaavao. ekacaI ASaUBa va dusa–yaacaI SauBa raihlyaasa 1½ gauNa samajaavao. daonhI SauBa baakI raihlaI tr 3 gauNa samajaavao.

4. yaaonaI kuT : − *yaa yaaonaI kuTanaa janaavaraMcaIca naavao idlaI Aahot. AEva Ê maoYa Ê sap- Ê Evaana Ê maajaa-r Ê mauYak Ê

gaao Ê maihYaI Ê gaja Ê vyaaGa` Ê maRga Ê vaanar Ê nakula va isaMh ASaa 14 yaaonaI Aahot. gaao – vyaaGa` Ê maihYaI – AEva Ê Evaana − maRga Ê maaja-r – mauYak Ê isaMh – gaja Ê vaanar – maoYa Ê nakula – sap- ASaa prspr vaOr yaaonaI samajaavyaa va %yaa Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk sauKat mhNajaoca sao@sa sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na kQaI kQaI ivaBa@tpNaa yao} Saktao.

5. ga`h maO~I : − vaQau – varaMcyaa raSaIMcao svaamaI ekmaokaMcao ima~ Asaavaot.ga`h t@ta baGaavaa. 6. gaNa : − var va vaQaU yaaMcaa ekca gaNa Asaola tr 6 gauNa Qaravao . vaQaucaa dovagaNa va varacaa manauYya gaNa Asaola tr

5 gauNa. daoGaaMpOkI ³ ekacaa dovagaNa va dusa–yaacaa raxasa gaNa Asata 1 gauNa va daoGaaMpOkI ekacaa raxasa gauNa va dusa–yaacaa manauYya gaNa AsataM 0 gauNa Qaravao ´

dovagaNa : − sat\p`vaRi<a Ê sadacaar Ê praopkar Ê Qamaa-naukula va prmaoEvar inaYza ho sad\gauNa dovagaNaI naxa~ daKivato. manauYya gaNa : − jagaatIla sauKaopaoBaaoga Baaogaavao pNa %yaaMnaa Qaaima-k baMQanaoih Asaaivat Ê svaaqaa-saazI dovaacaI yaqaa –

Sai@t AaraQanaa kravaI Asao manauYya gaNa saucaivatao. raxasa gaNa : − tUJao to maaJao va maaJao to maaJyaa baapacao hI AasaurI p`vaRi<a va raxasaI mah%vaakaMxaa mhNajaoca raxasa.

7. raSaI kuT − gauNa 7 Qaravao. vaQau va var daoGaaMcaI ekca raSaI AsataM varacyaa raSaI pasaUna vaQaucaI raSaI 3 Ê 4 Ê 7 Ê 10 Ê va 11 Asata 7 gauNa samajaavao. Anya p`kar AsataM 0 gauNa. raSaI kuT daoYa : − iWWa-dSa − ]BayataMcyaa raSaI prspraMpasaUna dusarI ikMvaa baaravaI Asaola tr ha yaaoga haotao. ha daoYa AsataM inaQa-na%va yaoto. pNa ASaavaoLI ha yaaoga [YT ikMvaa AinaYT AsaU Saktao. tao Asaa. sama raSaI pasaUna ivaYama raSaI dusarI AalaI Asata SauBa. ]da. ³ 10 – 11 SauBa ´ va sama raSaI pasaUna 12 vaI rasa ivaYama Asaola tr ASaUBa. ]da. ³ 10 – 9 ´. *yaalaa Apvaad isaMh – knyaa raSaI haoya. navapMcama yaaoga : − ]BayataMcyaa raSaI prsprapasaUna 5 vaI va 9 vaI tr %yaaMcaa navapMcama – yaaoga haotao. tao [YT ikMvaa AinaYT puZIla p`maaNao phavaa. caMd` − maMgaL ³ 4 – 8 raSaI ´ caMd` − gau$ ³ 4 – 12 raSaI ´ bauQa – SanaI ³ 3 – 11 raSaI ´ bauQa – SanaI ³ 6 – 10 raSaI ´ ho ima~ ga`haMcao navapMcama AsaUnaih ASaUBa Aahot va Asaa ha navapMcama daoYa Anap%ya vaa Ap%yahIna dSa-ivatao.

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8. naaDI : − gauNa – 8 vaQau va var yaaMcyaa janmaacaI naaDI ekca Asaola tr 0 gauNa AaiNa iBanna Asaola tr 8 gauNa Qaravao. saMkTkaLI AaV – AM%ya yaaMcaa eknaaDI ivavaah caalaola. prMtu daoGaaMcaI maQya naaDI AsataM “ sava-qaa ” vaja- samajaavao.

12. ivavaah ³ saPtmasqaana ´ ivavaah hI saamaaijak baMQanaacaI va maanyatocaI AaiNa Qaaima-k xao~amaQyao samaaivaYT AsalaolaI mah%vaacaI GaTnaa AsalyaamauLo ‘ gau$ ’ *yaa ga`hacao AMMmalaaKalaI maanaNyaat yaoto. s~Icao kuMDlaImaQyao pitkark ga`h ‘ maMgaL ’ va pu$Yaacyaa pi~komaQyao p%naIsauKacaa data ‘ SauË ’ maanalaa Aaho. tsaoca saPtmaoSa va saPtmaatIla ga`hhI ivavaahavar Aaplaa p`Baava daKivatat. *yaa sava- ga`haMcaI Avasqaa Ê Baavagat flao Ê yaaoga Ê dRYTI Ê mahadSaa va AMtd-Saa Ê navamaaMSa AaiNa ga`haMcaI gaaocar Ba`maNao *yaaMcaa pUNa- AByaasa kolyaanaMtrca ivavaahasaMbaMQaI mat doNao Sa@ya Asato. ivavaahyaaogaacaa AByaasa KalaIla ]pp`karaMMmaQyao ivaBaagaUna kolyaasa to AiQak saaoyaIcao hao[-la.

sava-saamaanya $iZbaw ivavaah KDtr ivavaah yaaoga PàIit ivavaah PàomaBaMga $iZbaa*ya ivavaah vaOQavyayaaoga À ivaQauravasqaa Ahova marNa du:KpUNa- ivavaah GaTsfaoT Pair%ya@ta iWBaayaa-yaaoga

saPtmasqaanaasaMbaMiQat ³ lagna Ê pit Ê p%naI ´ kahI mah%vaacao yaaoga *yaa p`krNaaSaovaTI idlao Aahot.

sava-saamaanya $iZbaw ivavaah puZIla yaaogaaMvar haoNyaacaI Sa@yata AiQak Asato : 1. saPtmasqaanaamaQaUna gau$cao Ba`maNa Ê iWtIya Ê AYTma va vyavasqaanaI caMd` nasalyaasa.

*yaa sqaanaI caMd` nakao.

2. caMdàpasaUna gaaocar ‘ gau$ ’ saatvaa prMtu i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 6. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI nasaavaa. 3. gau$cao gaaocar Ba`maNa maMgaLava$na ³ s~Icyaa pi~kot´ va SauËava$na ³ pu$Yaacyaa pi~kot ´ haot Asaola tr ivavaahacaI

Sa@yata Asato.

4. ivavaahyaaogya kaLamaQyao SauË Agar gau$caI mahadSaa AsaUna Ê gau$caI ikMvaa saPtmaoSaacaI AMtd-Saa Asaola tr ivavaah hao} Saktao.

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5. gaaocarIcao gau$Ba`maNa lagna Ê tRtIya ikMvaa laaBasqaanaatUna haot Asalyaasa Ê ³ gau$caI saPtmaavar pUNa- _YTI AsalyaamauLo´ ivavaah hao} Saktao.³ gau$caI _YTI 5 Ê 7 Ê 9´

_YTI

6. janmakalaIna SauËacyaa 9 ikMvaa 5 vyaa sqaanaI gaaocarIcaa gau$ Asata ivavaahyaaoga saMBavatao.

7. saPtmaaMSa kuMDlaItIla SauË Ê gaaocar SauËaSaI koMd` ikMvaa navapMcama yaaoga krtao tovha ivavaah haotao. %yaaca kaLat SauËdSaa ikMvaa AMtd-Saa Asalyaasa na@kI.

KDtr ivavaah yaaoga : 1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 6 Ê 8 Ê 12 *yaa sqaanaI. Saina ha maMdga`h saPtmaoSa AsaUna vyayaamaQyao Asaola tr ho fla

p`kYaa-nao jaaNavato. saPtmaoSa 2. Saina lagnaI Ê pMcamaat Ê dSamaat ikMvaa saPtmaat Asata ivavaahyaaoga ]iSara saMBavatao karNa SainacaI 3 Ê 7 Ê 10 _YTI

saPtmaavar Asato.

3. ivavaahacaa kark gau$ ‘ Saina ’ *yaa maMdgatI papga`habaraobar yautI yaaogaat Asatanaa. ³ kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI ´ 4. saPtmaoSaabaraobar Saina yautIyaaogaat Asatanaa.

5. saPtmaoSa kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI AsaUna %yaavar SainacaI 3 Ê 7 Ê 10 vaI _YTI Asalyaasa.

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6. saPtmasqaanaI svaxao~Icaa Agar ]ccaIcaa saaoDUna Anya raSaImaQyao gau$ Asalyaasa Ê mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI kk- ³ 4´ Qanau ³ 9´ maIna ³ 12´ *yaa raSaI vagaLta dusa–yaa raSaItIla gau$.

rasa 4 Ê 9 Ê 12 saaoDUna

7. kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI makrocaa gau$.

8. ivavaahyaaogyakalaI SainacaI maark mahadSaa AsaNao.

PàIitivavaahacao yaaoga : 1. saPtmaoSa pMcamaat va pMcamaoSa saPtmaat.

2. pMcama va saPtmasqaanaaMcao AiQapit SauBaga`h AsatIla AaiNa %yaa ]BayataMcaI prspraMvar _YTI Asaola Agar ekacaI dusa–yaavar _YTI Asaola tr pòmaivavaahacaa yaaoga saMBavatao. 3. pMcamasqaanaatIla vaRYaBaocaa SauË kaoNa%yaahI ASauBa yaaogaaMvaacaUna ikMvaa _YTIvaacaUna Asaola tr.

SauË

4. ivavaahyaaogya vayaat SauËacaI mahadSaa va SauË va gau$ yaaMcaa SauBayaaoga Asalyaasa.

5. pMcama va saPtmasqaanacao yaaoga SauË Ê caMdàcao AsaUna ivavaahyaaogyakalaI %yaapOkI ekacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

PàomaBaMgaacao yaaoga : 1. SauË va SainacaI yautI kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI. 2. pMcamasqaanaI kaoNatahI papga`h ]da. rahU Ê kotU Ê naopcyaUna.

3. pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 5. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI.

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4. saPtmaoSa i ~ksqaanaI prMtu pMcamaoSaabaraobar yautIt nasalyaasa.

5. pMcamaoSaacaI papga`haSaI yautI.

6. pMcamaavar papga`hacaI _YTI.

7. pMcamaat jalaraSaItIla caMd` mhNajaoca kk- ³ 4´ vaRiEcak ³ 8´ ikMvaa maInaocaa ³ 12´ caMd` pMcamaat.

8. pMcamasqaanaI SauË yautIyaaogaat Ê hYa-la Ê maMgaL ikMvaa rahUbaraobar Asalyaasa. ivaSaoYa%vaanao vaRiEcak raSaIt.

9. pMcamasqaanaat ekTa hYa-la ivaSaoYat: AignaraSaIt mhNajaoca maoYa ³ 1´ isaMh ³ 5´ Qanau ³ 9´ raSaItIla hYa-la.

10.pMcamaat ekTa AitASauBa caMd` Asalyaasa pòmap`krNaat da$Na inaraSaa hao}na dusara ivavaah Jaalaa trI pòma ivasarta yaot naahI.

$iZbaa*ya ivavaah ³ p`cailat Qama-maanya pwtIbaahorIla ivavaah´ : 1. saPtmaoSaabaraobar yautImaQyao rahU ikMvaa kotU Asalyaasa Ê AaMtrjaatIya ivavaah saMBavatao. 2. saPtmasqaanaI jalaraSaItIla yauvaa naoPacyaUna mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI kk- ³4´ vaRiEcak ³8´ maIna ³12´ rasa AsaUna

naopcyaUna 12° ¹ 18° AMSaI Asalyaasa.

3. saPtmaoSaabaraobar jalaraSaItIla yauvaa naopcyaUnacaI yautI.

4. gau$ ¹ hYa-la Agar SauË ¹ hYa-la yaaMcaI AMSaa%mak yautI pi~kot kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI Asata.

5. saPtmaamaQyao AignaraSaItIla yauvaa hYa-la mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI maoYa ³1´ isaMh ³5´ Qanau ³9´ rasa AsaUna hYa-la 12° ¹ 18° AMSaI Asalyaasa.

vaOQavyayaaoga À ivaQauravasqaa :

1. saPtmasqaanaI papga`h AsaUna saPtmaoSa AYTmaat Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk BaagaIdaracaa maR%yaU svat: AaQaI saMBavatao. 2. saPtmasqaanaamaQyao ekTa rahU naIca xao~Icaa. mhNajaoca Qanau ³ 9 ´ Agar maInaocaa ³ 12 ´ rahU saPtmaat.

3. maMgaL va rahU yaaMcaI AMSaa%mak yautI. hI Sa@yata AignaraSaImaQyao mhNajaoca 1. 5. 9 raSaIt AiQak Asato.

4. maMgaLacaa koMd` ³ 90° ´ Agar YaDaYTk yaaoga ³ 150° ´ rahUbaraobar saPtmasqaanaI.

5. gau$ va rahUcaI yauit AsaUna ivavaahao<ar kaLamaQyao rahU mahadSaa AsaUna gaaocar Ba`maNao ivaSaoYak$na pìtkUla Asalyaasa.

6. iWtIyasqaanaI 1.5.9 raSaItIla maMgaL Ê hYa-laacyaa kuyaaogaat Asalyaasa.

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7. QanauraSaImaQyao ‘ maUL ’ *yaa ]ga`naxa~amaQyao rahU maMgaLacaI yauit saPtmaamaQyao Asalyaasa.

8. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaamaQyao AsaUna %yaava$na hYa-laacao gaaocarBa`maNa.

9. ASauBaga`hanao yau@t maMgaL AYTmaat.

10. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaat Asata. TIp : p%naIkark SauËacyaa saMdBaa-maQyao ]praollaoiKt sava- yaaoga ³ maMgaLaeovajaI SauË´ Asata ivaQauryaaoga saMBavatao. varIla sava- yaaoga Baavacailat kuMDlaIcyaa AaQaaro zrvaavaot AaiNa mahadSaa Ê AMtd-Saa va gaaocarBa`maNao *yaaMcaa ivacaar kolyaavaacaUna inaNa-yaa%mak ivaQaana k$ nayao.

Ahova marNa : 1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI nasaUna saPtmaamaQyao svaraSaIcaa Agar ]ccaIcaa gau$ Asalyaasa.

saPtmaoSa *yaa sqaanaI nakao.

2. saPtmaavar gau$caI _YTI Asalyaasa ³ gau$ kuyaaogaat nasaavaa ´ mhNajaoca gau$ lagnaI Ê tRtIyaot ikMvaa laaBasqaanaI Asalyaasa gau$caI 5 Ê 7 Ê 9 vaI _YTI saPtmaavar Asato.

3. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaamaQyao nasaavaa karNa iWtIya sqaana ho saPtmaacao AYTmasqaana haoya.

4. AYTmaat SauBaga`habaraobar caMd` Asalyaasa AkalaI saaOBaagyamarNa yaoto.

du:KpUNa- ivavaah :

1. saPtmasqaanaI QanauraSaI ³ 9 ´ saaoDUna AnyaraSaIcaa kotU Asalyaasa. 2. saPtmaoSa AYTmaat.

3. saPtmaoSa YaYTat Asalyaasa jaaoDIdar Sa~uvat vaaTtao. satt Qausafusa Ê icaDicaD caalaU AsaUna mana:SaaMit laaBat naahI.

4. pi~kot gau$bala nasalyaasa AaiNa saPtmaoSa 6. 8. 12 sqaanaI AsaUna saPtmaat papga`h Asalyaasa.

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5. SauË AstgaMt AsaUna gau$bala kmaI Asalyaasa.

6. SauË Sainacyaa raSaImaQyao Asalyaasa mhNajaoca makrocaa ³ 10 ´ ikMvaa kuMBaocaa ³ 11 ´ SauË.

GaTsfaoT : 1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI AsaUna saPtmaat hYa-la Agar ASauBa rahU vaa kotU Asalyaasa. 2. saPtmaoSa hYa-laacao yautIt AsaUna saPtmaavar papga`hacaI _YTI AaiNa ivavaahsauKalaa AinaYT mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

3. QanauraSaIt riva + caMd` + SauË yautI kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI ivaSaoYaok$na maUL naxa~amaQyao.

Pair%ya@ta : ³ ptIpasaUna farkt pNa GaTsfaoT navho ´ 1. saPtmaoSa va SainacaI yauit i~ksqaanaI. 2. saPtmaavar papga`hacaI _YTI va AinaYT mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

iWBaayaa-yaaoga :

1. saPtmaoSa papga`hacyaa raiSat va lagnaoSa AYTmaat. 2. saPtmasqaanaI caMd` + maMgaL yautI Asalyaasa 19 vaYaa-Mpya-Mt ivavaah k$ nayao karNa iWBaayaa-yaaoga saMBavatao.

3. saPtmaatIla kk- va maIna raSaItIla maMgaL papga`hdUiYat Asalyaasa.

4. saPtmaat Saina va 1. 2. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI maMgaL.

lagna Ê pit va p%naI saMbaMiQat yaaoga va %yaaMcaI filato :

1. SauË AaiNa riva saPtmaat Ê Baagyaat ikMvaa Baagyaat. filat : jaaoDIdarasa SaarIirk ApMga%va saMBavato.

2. saPtmaoSa YaYTat SauËabaraobar filat : jaIvanasaaqaI vaOvaaihk sauK do} Sakt naahI ³ Frigid´ vaa ApoxaaMmaQyao AitSaya frk Asatao.

3. saPtmaoSa ikMvaa SauËabaraobar Ê gau$ ikMvaa bauQa ikMvaa %yaaMcaI _YTI.

filat : jaIvanasaaqaI p`amaaiNak Asatao.

4. lagnaoSa va saPtmaoSa yaaMcaI yauit ikMvaa prspraMvar _YTI. filat : AiQak Baayaa-yaaoga.

7 5. dSamaoSa Ê iWtIyaoSa va saPtmaoSa dSamaat

filat : AnaOitk saMbaMQa AsaU Saktat. 6. balavaana iWtIyaoSa saPtmaoSaabaraobar ikMvaa _YTIt AaiNa lagnaoSa va SauË balavaana.

filat : p%naI kDUna pOsaa imaLtao.

7. YaYTat maMgaL Ê saPtmaat rahU Ê AYTmaat Saina filat : saaqaIdaracaa AkalaI maR%yau saMBavatao.

8. gaaocarIcaa Saina 2. 4. 6. 8. 12 maQyao Asata ivavaah hao} Saktao.

9. janmakalaIna SauËacyaa 5 ikMvaa 9 vyaa sqaanaI gaaocarIcaa gau$ ivavaahyaaoga dotao.

10. SauË ikMvaa saPtmaoSa 1 to 7 *yaa sqaanaI Asata vaQaU À var javaL rahNaaro. 9 maQyao Asata prdoSacao. 8. 10. 11. 12 maQyao Asata dUrcao Asatat. 11. saPtmasqaanaI ivaSaoYat: s~Icyaa pi~kot riva + maMgaL yauit hYa-laacyaa kuyaaogaat Asata GaTsfaoT saMBavatao. 12. saPtmasqaanaI rahUcyaa kuyaaogaatIla maMgaL vaOQavyayaaoga dotao. 13. AYTmaatIla s~I raSaIcaa maMgaL idvasaa kamavaasanaa jaagaRt krtao. 14. AYTmaat caMd` maMgaL yautI Asata jabardst ivaYaya vaasanaa AsaUna mhatarpNaat sauwa vyai@t laGaLpNaa krtat. 15. riva iWtIyaat Asata pi%na ASa@t va AajaarI Asato. 16. Saina iWtIyaat Asata p%naIsa p`qama maR%yaUyaaoga saMBavatao. 17. saPtmaamaQyao vaRYaBa ikMvaa tuLraSaIt SauË Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL yautIt Asata Anaok izkaNaI SarIrsaMbaMQa saMBavatao. 18. imaqauna lagnaacyaa is~yaa *yaa naa %yaa sva$pat jaaoDIdarasa CLtat.

13. saMtitsaaO#ya ³pMcamasqaana´ pMcamasqaanaava$na saMtitsauKacaa ivacaar kolaa jaatao. yaa sqaanaat Asalaolao ga`h Ê yaa sqaanaacaa svaamaI va sqaanaavarIla [tr

ga`haMcaI _YTI hI sava- SauBa AsatIla va lagnaoSa – pMcamaoSa yaaMcao SauBayaaoga ³ yauuuit Agar navapMcamayaaoga ´ AsatIla tr saMtitsauK ]<ama imaLola. *yaa sqaanaaSaI kSaahI p`karo gau$caa saMbaMQa Asaola tr saMtityaaoga AvaSya yaotao.

Saina Ê maMgaL va rahU yaaMcaa yaa pMcamasqaanaaSaI saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr saMttIsaMbaMQaI AinaYT fLo imaLtat. Sainacaa saMbaMQa

Asaola tr saMtit ]iSara haoto. maMgaLacaa saMbaMQa Asaola tr JaalaolaI sava-casaMtit iTkt naahI va rahUcaa saMbaMQa Asaola tr ik%yaokda gaBa-naaSa haotao.

pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa va lagnaoSa yaaMcaoSaI pu$Yaga`haMcaa ³ riva Ê maMgaL Ê gau$ ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr pu~saMtit hao[-la va

s~Iga`haMcaa ³ caMd` va SauË ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr knyaa haotIla. pMcamasqaanaat pu$YaraiSa ³ 1. 3. 5. 7. 9. 11´ Asaola tr pu~saMtit va s~IraiSa ³ 2.4.6.8.10.12Ásaola

knyaasaMtit hao[-la. Ap%yajanmaamaQyao ptI AaiNa p%naI yaaMcaa eki~t sahBaaga AavaSyak Asalyaanao pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa Ê gau$ yaaMcaa ]Baya pi~kotIla AByaasa saMtityaaogaacyaa AByaasaasaazI AavaSyak Asatao. saMttIyaaogaacaa AByaasa KalaIla ]pp`karaMmaQyao ivaBaagaUna kolyaasa to AiQak saaoyaIcao hao[-la. saMttIpàPtI KDtr saMttIyaaoga vaMQyaadaoYa va vaIya-daoYa ina:saMtana yaaoga ApMga saMttI Ap%yaaMcao vaarMvaar maR%yaU pu~ va knyaa saMtit saMtitsaMbaMQaIcao kahI yaaoga pMcamasqaanaatIla ga`h va %yaaMcaI fLo.

saMttIpàPtI : ³ pMcamasqaana ´

1. pMcamaatUna gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa caMdàsa i~k nasalyaasa mhNajaoca maUL pi~kot caMd` YaYTat Ê dSamaat ikMvaa vyayaat

nasalyaasa.

mhNajao caMd`

2. pMcamaoSaava$na gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa Ê caMdàsa i~k nasalyaasa. 3. gaaocarIcyaa gau$caI pMcamaavar _YTI Asata mhNajaoca gaaocarIcaa gau$ lagnaI Ê Baagyaat ikMvaa laaBaat Asata %yaacaI

5. 7. 9 vaI _YTI pMcamaavar Asato.

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4. gau$ mahadSaomaQyao gau$ AMtd-Saa Asata.

5. s~I pi~kot kk- ³ 4´ Qanauu ³ 9´ maIna ³ 12 ´ vaRiEcak ³ 8 ´ raSaItIla gau$ va ivavaahao<ar lagaoca gau$caI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

6. maULcyaa caMd`alaa gaaocarIcaa gau$ pacavaa Agar saatvaa AsaUna tao i~ksqaanaatUna ³ 6. 8. 12 ´ jaat nasaola tr

saMttIyaaoga saMBavatao.

7. maULcyaa gau$va$na gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa 6. 8. 12 maQaUna haot nasaola tr.

8. gaaocarInao ekTa bauQa ekadSaat ikMvaa gaaocarInao ekTa SauË pMcamaat Aalaa Asata AaiNa pMcamasqaana va pMcamaoSa dUiYat nasalyaasa.

KDtr saMttIyaaoga :

1. pMcamasqaanaamaQyao makrocaa Saina Ê rahU nao dUiYat ³ yaaoga ikMvaa _YTI ´

2. pMcamasqaanaamaQyao rahU Agar kotU ³ Apvaad imaqauna rahU vaa QanauraSaItIla kotU ´ Asalyaasa sap-daoYaaMmauLo saMttI haoNyaasa

ADqaLo yaotat. 3. s~I pi~kot saPtmaat Saina Ê rahU Agar Saina hYa-la yautI Asalyaasa maUla gaBaa-SayaamaQyao saatvyaa ikMvaa Aazvyaa

maihnyaamaQyao maR%yaU pavaNyaacaI Sa@yata Asato . Asaaca p`kar pu$Ya pi~kot AYTmaat riva caMd` yautIt Asata hao} Saktao.

4. pMcamaoSa Ê ivaSaoYa%vao Saina Ê vyayaamaQyao ³ 12 vyaa sqaanaI ´ AsaUna ivavaahao<ar SainacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa gaBa-QaarNaa

haoNao kizNa Asato. 5. makrocaa gau$ Agar AstMgat gau$ Ê ivaSaoYat: i~ksqaanaI Asalyaasa. 6. pMcamaamaQyao kuMBaocaa ³ 11 ´ riva Asalyaasa. 7. s~I kuMDlaImaQyao pMcamaat Aigna raSaItIla ³ 1. 5. 9 ´ maQaIla yauvaa maMgaL ³ 12° ¹ 18° ´ Asalyaasa vaarMvaar

gaBa-pat saMBavatat.

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vaMQyaadaoYa va vaIya-daoYa :

1. pMcamasqaanaatIla rahU ikMvaa kotU Ê ivaSaoYat: Qanau ³ 9´ maIna ³ 12´ raSaItIla rahU ikMvaa imaqauna ³ 3´ knyaa ³ 6´ raSaItIla kotU.

2. pu$Ya pi~kot jalaraSaItIla ³ 4.8.12´ ivaSaoYat: maInaomaQyao maMgaL i~ksqaanaI. %yaathI YaYTat Asalyaasa.

3. s~I kuMDlaIt pMcamaat knyaocaa ³ 6´ SauË Asalyaasa ³ Agar gaaocarInao Aalyaasa ´ AMDivasaja-na iËyaomaQyao ADqaLa

yaotao. ASaa SauËavar papga`haMcaI _YTI Asalyaasa ha daoYa p`kYaa-nao p`kT haotao. ASaa SauËacyaa sahvaasaat maMgaL Asalyaasa AiQak r@ts~avaacaa ivakar saMBavatao.

4. eKaVa jaaoDPyaacyaa lagnaI Ê pMcamaat vaa saPtmaat ASauBa isqatImaQaIla papga`h Asalyaasa Incompatibility mauLo

gaBa-saMBava haot naahI.

5. s~Icyaa pi~komaQyao pMcamasqaanaI vaa pMcamaoSa daoYaah- ga`h AsaUna lagnaI Agar saPtmaat rahU À kotU À Saina À maMgaL Asalyaasa Agar _YTI Asalyaasa jananaoMid`yaacaI pUNa- vaaZ JaalaI nasaNyaacaI Sa@yata AiQak p`maaNaat Asato va %yaamauLo vaMQya%va saMBavato.

6. pMcamaamaQyao vaMQyaaraiSa AsaUna ³ 1. 3. 5. 6 rasa ´ pi~komaQyao gau$ Saina yauityaaoga Asata vyaMQa%va saMBavato.

7. s~I kuMDlaImaQyao tuL ³ 7´ raSaImaQyao rahU Asata garaodrpNaat najar laagaNao saMBavato.

8. tULocaa Saina Asata gaBaa-Sayaat daoYa Asalyaanao gaBa-saMBavaat ADqaLo yaotat.

9. pu$Yaacyaa SauËjaMtU tyaar haoNyaacyaa p`iËyaosa va s~Icyaa baIjaaSayaatUna baIjaaMD baahor pDNyaacyaa maaisak p`iËyaosa pMcama

ikMvaa AYTmaatIla riva ikMvaa maMgaL ikMvaa PlaUTao ADqaLa AaNatat va %yaamauLo rjaaodaoYa À vaIya-daoYa saMBavatao. 10. tULot maMgaL Asalyaasa Aat-vadaoYaamauLo gaBa-saMBavaat ADqaLo yaotat.

ina:saMtana yaaoga :

1. gau$ hYa-la yautI pMcamasqaanaI va SainacaI _YTI. mhNajaoca Saina tRtIya Ê AYTma ikMvaa laaBaat Asalyaasa %yaacaI 3. 7. 10 vaI _YTI pMcamaavar Asato.

2. gau$ rahUcaI yauit kaozlyaahI sqaanaI va pMcamaat hYa-la ikMvaa Saina Asalyaasa.

4 3. makrocaa ³ 10 ´ gau$var rahU Agar kotUcaa kuyaaoga.

4. maoYaocaa ³ 1´ Saina pMcamaat va ivavaahao<ar kaLat %yaacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

5. pu$Yapi~kot 3 ikMvaa 6 vyaa sqaanaI bauQa AsaUna 10 ikMvaa 11 sqaanaI Saina Asalyaasa napuMsak%va saMBavato.

6. catuqaa-maQyao 3 ikMvaa 4 papga`h sahvaasayaaogaat AsalyaasahI Asaaca PairNaama saMBavatao.

7. s~I kuMDlaIt saPtmaat Saina bauQa yauityaaogaat Asalyaasa itcaa ptI jananaxama nasaNyaacaa saMBava AiQak Asatao.

8. gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL AYTmaat Ê inapui~kpNaa dSa-ivatat.

ApMga saMttI yaaoga :

1. pMcamaoSa AYTmaat AsaUna pi~kot kaozohI QanauraSaImaQyao gau$ va rahU yaaMcaI yauit Asalyaasa. 2. pMcamaamaQyao Saina Ê rahU va gau$ yaaMcaI yauit AsaUna pMcamaoSaacaI papga`haSaI yauit Asalyaasa.

3. pMcamaoSaacaa Agar pMcamasqaanaatIla ga`haMcaa Aqavaa gau$caa rahUSaI da$Na kuyaaoga AsaUna ivavaahao<ar rahUcaI mahadSaa

AsalyaasahI ApMga saMttI saMBavato. ³ Apvaad imaqaunaocaa rahU ´

Ap%yaaMcao vaarMvaar maR%yauyaaoga : 1. pMcamaoSa i~k\sqaanaI Ê ivaSaoYat: vyayaat. 2. riva va Saina ho AMSaa%mak pìtyaaogaat AsaUna ivavaahao<ar kaLat SainacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.

3. caMdàvar SainakDUna da$Na kuyaaoga Asalyaasa.

4. gau$ Ê maMgaLacaI AMSaa%mak yautI.

pu~ vaa knyaa saMttI :

1. pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa va lagnaoSa yaaMcyaaSaI pu$Ya ga`haMcaa ³ riva Ê maMgaL Ê gau$ ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr pu~saMtit hao[-la va s~I ga`haMcaa ³ caMd` va SauË´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr knyaa saMttI hao[-la. 2. pMcamasqaanaI pu$YaraiSa ³1.3.5.7.9.11´ Asaola tr pu~saMtit va s~IraiSa ³2.4.6.8.10.12´ Asaola

tr knyaasaMtit hao[-la. 3. pMcamaoSa caMdàcyaa navaaMSaat Asaola tr s~I saMttI jaast haoto. pMcamaoSa maMgaLacyaa navaaMSaat Asaola tr pu$Ya saMtMtI

jaast haoto.

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4. AaQaana lagnaacaa navaaMSa ivaYama raSaIcaa Asaola Aqavaa AaQaana lagnaacyaa navaaMSa raSaIsa pu$Ya ga`h AsatIla tr pu$YasaMttI saMBavato Anyaqaa knyaa saMttI saMBavato.

5. AaQaana lagna riva Ê caMd` va gau$ ivaYama raSaIsa ivaYama navaaMSaI Asatanaa pu~pàPtI saMBavato va samaraSaI samanavaaMSaI Asata

knyaasaMttI saMBavato. AaQaana lagnaI caMd` papga`hyau@t Aqavaa dRRYT Asata ApMgasaMttI saMBavato.

6. AaQaana lagnaacaa navaaMSaaiQaptI vaËI Asata p`sautIsa ~asa haotao.

7. gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL AYTmaat ¹ knyaasaMtit haoto.

saMtitsaMbaMQaIcao yaaoga : 1. pMcamaat rahU Ê pMcamaoSa papga`habaraobar yauitt AaiNa gau$ inaba-laI À naIcaIcaa ikMvaa papga`h gau$pasaUna va lagnaapasaUna

pMcamaat. filat : 32 va 40 vaYaI- saMttIsa Qaaoka.

2. pMcamaat gau$ va pMcamaoSaabaraobar SauË ikMvaa gau$ Baagyaat Ê SauË pMcamaat lagnaoSaabaraobar. filat : 32 Ê 33 Ê 40 vaYaI- pu~janma haotao.

3. pMcamaoSa gau$ AaiNa riva balavaana. filat : kt-R%vavaana maulagaa.

4. pMcamaoSa koMdàt ikMvaa i~kaoNaat.

filat : ekca maulagaa.

5. pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI. filat : Ap%yayaaoga naahI. saMttIsauKat ADcaNaI.

6. maMgaL va Saina pMcamaat Ê lagnaoSa bauQaacyaa raiSat Ê bauQaabaraobar ikMvaa bauQaacaI dRRYTI ikMvaa saPtmaoSa laaBaat Ê pMcamaoSa

SauBaga`habaraobar AaiNa pMcamaat Saina ikMvaa maMgaL. filat : maulagaa d<ak Gaotlaa jaa[-la.

7. pMcamasqaanaI rahU Ê Saina saaoDUna Anya ga`haMcyaa navamaaMSaat.

filat : puYkL saMtit.

8. gau$ Ê lagnaoSa Ê saPtmaoSa Ê pMcamaoSa inaba-laI ikMvaa naIca raSaIsa filat : Ap%yayaaoga naahI.

9. ekca ga`h lagnaoSa va catuqao-Sa ikMvaa lagnaoSa Ê catuqao-Sa ima~ga`h ikMvaa SauBagàhaMcaI _YTI

filat : Aa[- va maulaaMt pòma va salaao#yaacao saMbaMQa. 10. lagnaoSa va catuqao-Sa bauQa papga`habaraobar ikMvaa _YTIt. filat : Aa[-caa WoYa krtIla. ha yaaoga imaqauna lagna Asalyaasaca Sa@ya Aaho.

6 11. maUL gau$ gaaocar SauËaSaI navaPaMcama krtao tovha saMttI haoto. 12. pMcamasqaanaavar Saina Ê rahUcaI _YTI Asata knyaa AiQak haotat va d<akivaQaanaacaa yaaoga haotao. 13. pMcamasqaanaI kuMBaocaa riva Ap%yahInata dSa-ivatao. 14. pMcamaat h + maM Ê maM + ko Ê maM + ra Ê Sa + maM yauit Asata maRtsaMtit saMBavato. 15. gau$ + maMgaL yautI pMcamaat saMttI jagaU dot naahI. 16. pMcamaat imaqaunaocaa maMgaL Asata 1 lao Ap%ya maRt saMBavato. 17. pMcamasqaanaI vaayauraSaIt ³ 3. 7. 11 ´ caMd` Asata pu~saMtit haot naahI. 18. s~I kuMDlaIt lagnaoSa AYTmaat va pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI ikMvaa pMcamaoSa va AYTmaoSaacaa Anyaaonyayaaoga Asata p`saUitsa ~asa

saMBavatao.

ga`haMcaI saMtitivaYayak flao : riva : pMcamaat ¹ p`qama pu~ Jaalyaasa jagat naahI. pMcamaat hYa-layau@t ¹ saMttIsa ApGaat. saMttISaI BaaMDNao.

jalaraSaIt Ê isaMhraSaIt gau$yau@t ¹ saMttI jaast. caMd` pMcamaat : caaMgalao saaO#ya dotao. P`aqama knyaa yaaoga. maMgaL pMcamaat : saMttIcyaa _YTInao Apayakark Ê p`saUtIs~asa Ê gaBa-pat. saMttISaI pTt naahI. maulao svatM~ vaR<aIcaI.

hYa-la Ê Saina. naopcyaUna yau@t ¹ A%yaMt vaa[-T. pu~Saaok Ê pu~icaMta. maMgaL ¹ rahU ¹ saMttIsa SaarIrIk vaOgauNya dotao. bauQa : pMcamaat ¹ ekTa saMttI kmaI. bauQa Saina ¹ saMttI naahI. gau$ pMcamaat ¹ Sainayau@t ¹ ]iSara saMttI Ê inapui~kpNaa. gau$ maMgaL ¹ Aaiqa-k baabatIt maulaaMSaI pTt naahI. gau$ rahU À kotU ¹ maukI baihrI vyaMga saMttI. navamasqaanaat papga`h Asata ¹ saMttI Saaok. makrocaa gau$ ¹ saMttI sauKriht. AYTmaat gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL ¹ f@t knyaasaMtit vaa inapui~kpNaa. AYTmaat papga`hyau@t ¹ saMttIsa vaa[-T. SauË pMcamaat ¹ saMttI caaMgalaI va huSaar knyaasaMttI jaast. AYTmaat ¹ saMttI caaMgalaI nasato. Baagyaat ¹ tRtIya saMttI knyaa. saMttIpasaUna sauK.

7 Saina pMcamaat ¹ ]SaIra saMttI dotao. daona saMttIt AMtr. papga`habaraobar ¹ saMttI naahI. hYa-la pMcamaat ¹ gaBa-pat Ê gaBaa-Saya ivakRit Ê p`saUit ~asakark Ê Aa^proSananaMtr janma. rahU ¹ pMcamaat . vyaMgapUNa- saMttI. saMttI haot naahI. kotU pMcamaat : saMttI haot naahI. pIDadayak saMttI.

14 / Tips for Establishing & Improving Relationship

Preface

We can develop better relationship with others if we understand their entry in our life.

A person may come into your life for a ‘reason, for a season or for a life.’ If this focus is clear,

we can decide our relationship pattern.

A person may enter your life for a ‘reason’ when you need him for your help. You may call the

person by any name or he may be a stranger or from your family. When the necessary help is

rendered, the relationship may get broken in spite of your good behaviour. You should be

ready for such eventuality. No point doing post mortem of your behaviour and his behaviour.

Some people come into your life for a ‘season.’ You will learn from these persons many things.

These persons will share their experience, knowledge with you and try to enrich your life.

You will have unbelievable joy and happiness in their company. But please remember that this

association is only for a ‘season.’

Some people enter your life for lifetime. You need to take special efforts for building up such

relationship. You may need to show more consistency, tolerance etc. in nursing such

relationship. Good relationships are like Trees. They demand attention & care in the beginning

but once they blossom, they provide you shade in all situations of life.

So whenever you march towards establishing relationship, first decide whether this person

has entered your life ‘for a reason, for a season or for a life.’

In the light of above discussion, let us try and formulate the Tips for establishing & improving

relationship.

i) Relationship is born simultaneously with our birth.

ii) Our entry in this world creates various relationship whether we like them or

not at a latter stage in our life.

iii) If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the

Relationship on same footing. e.g. We must forget our education, designation,

status, while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends etc.

2 iv) Relationship is a complex phenomenon.

v) One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last

moment/breath in this world then why not try and develop cordial relationship

with others.

Various Relationships with...

Children

Spouse

Older Parents

Friends

Colleagues

Common Tips

i) Let there be spaces in your relationship.

ii) Give respect to get respect.

iii) All fingers are not alike.

iv) Each person inherits good and bad qualities.

v) Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their

behavior with you.

vi) Respect individuality.

vii) Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.

viii) We all need each other.

ix) No body is perfect.

x) When you are angry, criticize the behavior, not the person.

xi) Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’

Children

i) The relationship with children gives immense joy at least when they are small.

ii) Parenthood is the ‘testing phase of married life.’

iii) Parents do not leave any stone unturned to give best to their children.

iv) However our acts and deeds should be motive less and should arise from our

duty & responsibility.

v) We should not look at the relationship as an investment for our old age.

3

Tips-Children

i) You should always encourage your children to express their feelings.

ii) Establish clear limits on their behavior.

iii) You should act as a Role Model for improving their behavior.

iv) Praise should be used to promote good behavior.

v) You should respect your child’s choices, unless they endanger safety or health.

vi) Criticize incorrect/ bad behavior or action, not the child.

vii) Set clear and consistent rules. Parents should agree on rules.

viii) Goals set should be within reach of your child.

ix) Make it a habit to spend some time every day with your children.

x) Pay undivided attention when your children talk to you.

xi) Encourage your child to always do their best, and emphasize that what is

Important is efforts, not the success.

Spouse

i) Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying

solely on ‘fate.’

ii) Decision is tougher for the lady.

iii) Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who

doesn’t eat.

Tips-Spouse

i) Let there be spaces in your relationship.

ii) When you are angry, criticize the behavior, not the person.

iii) Feel free to discuss you problem.

iv) Spend time with each other.

v) Expectations from spouse should be realistic.

vi) Never take each other for granted.

vii) Good points of the spouse should be remembered.

viii) Think of the two as a TEAM.

4

Older Parents

i) Our relationship with parents varies as we grow.

ii) We all carry high opinion about our parents when we are small.

iii) We soon dislike our parents as more restrictions are placed on us as we grow old.

iv) When we get married and become parents, we start realizing the challenges faced

by our parents and real meaning of their behavior those days gets unfolded.

v) When we grow old, our original childhood belief gets confirmed that our parents

are really great.

Tips-Older Parents

i) You should stand by your parents in periods of transition such as retirement,

death, illness etc.

ii) Share your feelings with your parents.

iii) Be sensitive & understanding towards your parents and their needs.

iv) Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for you.

v) Make them feel that they are special and they matter to you.

vi) Forgive your parents for their shortcomings.

vii) If your parents are living with you then spend some time with them every day.

viii) Even if they are not staying with you, make it a point to visit them regularly, talk

on telephone etc.

ix) If you disagree with them on current issue then make them aware politely of same.

Friends

i) Every person should have friends of various levels to fill the gap in his life.

ii) Many times we face such situations which can not be discussed with parents,

spouse, colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you

may be deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in

such situations.

Tips-Friends

i) Let there be spaces in your friendship.

ii) Lose the fight not the friend.

iii) Accept your friend’s flaws.

5 iv) Keep in touch even if you are far away. Distance shouldn’t keep real friends apart.

v) Be loyal and committed.

vi) Never reveal your friend’s secrets to a third person.

vii) It is not necessary to reveal each and every detail of your life to your friend.

viii) Learn to forgive.

Colleagues

i) As we spend our major part of Life in the office, it imperative that we should have

healthy relationship with our colleagues.

ii) When colleagues get along and like each other, going to work can become the great

pleasure.

Tips-Colleagues

i) Feelings play pivotal role in giving insight about people and their behavior.

ii) It is necessary that you should trust others in the environment as much as you trust

your self.

iii) Good point in a colleague should be acknowledged even if you don’t like him.

iv) One should be emotionally honest with oneself. Every day make it a practice to

write for 5 minutes as to how you feel about your self and the surrounding world.

v) You should not shirk from your actions and emotions.

vi) Pay attention to the feedback from your colleagues and client’s from their non-

verbal signals.

vii) Give respect to gain respect.

viii) Your behavior with colleagues should be the replica of your expectation of

behavior from others.

Few Words from Compiler….

i) Relationship is a complex phenomenon and any laid down principles may still fail

because after all each person is unique and for building cordial relationship you

need similar thinking from opposite camp.

ii) You need two hands for ‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’

iii) Why not make an attempt?

iv) Best of Luck!!!!!

15-Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides:

A Why such Behaviour Therapy was developed?

1 ‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex

phenomenon. Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like

them or not at a latter stage in our life.

2 If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the

relationship on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education,

designation, status while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, In-laws etc.

3 One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last

moment in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.

4 Every girl makes all compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and

dear ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins husband's family of

unknown species. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be

husband.’ In fact he is the only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if

her expectations and assumptions are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s

status/value literally falls in her mind though again she can not discuss this with

anyone openly. Even her parents will try and blame her only.

5 I am aware that developing any relationship is a long drawn process. You can vouch

for this statement from the fact that how our relationship with parents has taken

‘swings’ over the years and it will be a bold statement to make that relationship has

now settled.

6 As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid

down principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover

building cordial relationship you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well.

You need two hands for ‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’

7 If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing likes it. But there is no

guarantee that it would so happen. Hence you must try to establishment relationship

by adhering to various Tips listed below. Why not make an attempt to develop

relationship professionally instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your

mind?

8 We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him

up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc. though

2 we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why

not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with

your marriage.)

9 Although this Therapy has been prescribed to would be ‘Brides’ but any daughter-in-

law can start following this therapy depending upon the circumstances to redevelop,

mould, reconcile relationship with In-laws. In fact many of the above Tips can be

successfully used to improve relationships with people.

10 These Tips have been prepared based on my experience as counsellor and observations

of people from childhood. It was my good fortune that I came across many people who

taught ‘How not to behave.’ I express my sincere thanks to them.

11 I am aware that few Tips have been deliberately repeated to drive the importance.

12 This Article has been dedicated to the fond memory of my Late Aai Smt. Shantabai

M. Vaidya (Born on 19-09-1919 & expired on 26-10-2004. She would have completed

90 years today.)

B Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs:

1 Human being is considered as most intellectual ‘Animal’ in the universe. He can use

his brain, can think from various angles, knows the risk factors, can analyze cost-

benefits of his actions etc. If it is so, his behaviour is supposed to be consistent, rational

etc. But we observe in day to day life that it is not so. It is necessary to have insight of

‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of Marriage & social customs. There is

no point in nursing the grudge in respect of same at a later date. I cast upon you the

duty to change / mould these customs in your personal life. I have already broken

many in my Life.

2 Bride’s name given by her parents is changed by her husband. (How many husbands

will be ready to change their name after marriage?) (However Ladies with established

social career before marriage rightly use both names after marriage.)

3 Marriage is usually performed by adhering to Age old religious rituals without taking

pains to understand the logic behind such Age old rituals. (In fact it is the prestige

point for parents of both sides that their ‘so called educated kids’ agreed to get

married traditionally.) (I feel that One should always do what one believes.)

4 Why the proportion of divorce has increased over the years in spite of getting married

traditionally? (Is it because that no attention is given to Mantras and expected

behaviour of a couple after marriage / marriage oath explained by ‘Guruji’?)

3 5 Why even daily ‘Puja’ (worship of GOD) is not performed after marriage?

(Daily routine Puja may not take more than 15 minutes in the morning.

Understandable, because the subject of ‘Time management’ is not given its due

importance by young generation.)

6 Husband can perform any religious rituals even after death of his beloved wife.

But why widow is not given similar right openly to perform religious rituals such as

marriage of her kids, Satyanarayan Puja etc.) Widow is not invited to Married Ladies

get together. Is it that lady has no social value after death of her husband? At the same

time she has a social value even if her husband is not looking after the family and is a

victim of bad habits.

7 Remarriage by a widow is looked down upon by the ‘Society’ but the ‘Society

encourages remarriage of a husband after death of his wife. (Obviously you need

somebody to take care of his kids.) When the same need arises for a widow, then why

different opinion?

8 Suffix to the girl’s name always suggests her marital status. (e.g. Miss, Mrs., Smt.)

Why no such facility for knowing his marital status? (e.g. Master, Mr. does not indicate

his married status.)

9 Married lady is supposed to wear ‘Mangalsutra’ to indicate to the world at large that

her husband is alive. Why no such compulsion of wearing ‘Chain’ after marriage to

indicate that he is married and his wife is alive. (How many husbands would be ready

to follow this?)

10 Husband expects that wife should take care of his parents. Whether wife gets the same

right to expect that husband should also take care of her own parents?

11 Husband can give financial help to his parents but wife has no such open right to offer

financial assistance to her parents. (In fact parents from both sides have not left any

stone unturned to offer best of every thing to their kids.)

12 There is an age old tussle between ‘Mother-in-law’ (Sasu) & ‘Daughter-in-law’ (Sun).

I will unfold the secret that ‘Sasu’ means ‘Sarakhya suchana’ (Continuous instructions)

and ‘Sun’ means ‘Suchana nakota.’(Instructions should not be given.) (It is expected

that both should perform balancing act in giving and listening instructions.) (In fact

nobody becomes small by following useful instructions given for their own

betterment.)

4

C Anomalies of Family matters:

1 It is also necessary to have insight of ‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of

Family matters. There is no point in nursing the grudge in respect of same at a later

date.

2 Mother-in-law looking after household work till day of marriage expects her daughter-

in-law to take over the said responsibilities from the very next day after marriage.

3 Mother-in-law applies different measuring rods for daughter & daughter-in-law.

4 Man talks about equality in rights and duties but does not like to assit his wife in

household chores.

5 To avoid / run away from tension, a man resorts to bad habits such as tobacco,

smoking or drinking, but does not like if his spouse acquiring these bad habits.

(When husband becomes pray of bad habits, how wife should counter her tension

due to this?)

6 A husband expects his wife to adjust with family members when he himself had spent

good time in adjustment with his own family members.

7 Head of the family talking ‘Shreya’ matters is not liked by junior members.

(Shreya means what is good for the person. Such advice is usually bitter.)

Every one likes to listen ‘Preya’ or ‘Sweet’ advice.)

8 A well educated person wants to marry qualified and earning girl. But on getting

married, wife is expected to leave the job to look after the house. (Or home?)

9 A young man wearing spectacles or contact lens wants to marry a girl with good eye

sight.

10 We get restless on getting fat electricity bill and shout on our kids for waste of

electricity by watching TV for long hours, playing computer games, taking printouts

and throwing them in dust bin etc; but we ourselves forget to switch off the fan, tube

light, AC etc. on moving out of the room.

11 In many communities Puja is not complete without offering milk, coconuts, food

grains etc. to GOD (by whatever name called). (Is it not possible to give these offerings

to a needy person?)

12 God does not stay in temple but stays /hides himself in every person. (We seldom try

to recognize this GOD and spend our time and energy in offering prayer to the God in

the temple.) (Kindly excuse me if somebody’s sentiments are hurt.)

13 Young generation do not think while making ‘mistakes’ before marriage but thereafter

5 keep thinking all the time as to how to hide the same from the Life partner. (It is

needless to say that husband-wife relationship should be transparent.)

D How to avoid conflict?




now settled. In view of this reality, if you are successful in avoiding the Conflict to

start with, I would say that half the battle is won.

2 Hence I intend to touch upon ‘Conflict Management.’ Conflict is part of our LIFE.

We may not be fortunate to avoid all conflicts but we can certainly try to manage them

well in time. Understanding reasons of conflict & acceptance of conflict etc. are most

essential for its management.

3 We must first understand the main reasons for conflict:

3.1 Unmet needs and wants. (Unmet wants could be physical, mental etc.)

3.2 Values: Our values drive our behavior. Our values may differ about time, work,

health, relationship, spending habits etc.

3.3 Perceptions: There are always three sides to any matter/ problem.

3.4 Knowledge: The information or knowledge given or not given may cause conflict.

3.5 Assumptions: We make assumptions on what we know. Conflict may take place when

assumptions are not checked for accuracy or are not updated periodically.

3.6 Expectations: Conflict may occur when we do not know each other’s expectations.

Expectations should be made known in clear terms to each other. Sooner the better.

3.7 Growing up differently: Each generation views life and work differently.

3.8 Willingness and ability to deal with conflicts.

3.9 Three personalities are hidden in every individual, namely Parent, Adult and Child.

These personalities keep changing from time to time and from situation to situation.

When two persons happen to be in similar personalities say Adult while dealing, then

the chances of conflict are remote.

E Recommended Reading from www.spandane.com Spandane Articles.

1 In fact all Spandane Articles will enrich your LIFE but you should at least read the

following Spandane Articles from www.spandane.com.

Article 18 - Shivamuth

http://www.spandane.com/


6 Article 36 - Consultant

Article 44 – PERT / CPM

Article 51 – MOL - DIL

Article 53 – Communication Skills

Article 55 – Time Management

Article 61 – Anger Management

Article 70 – Conflict Management

Article 71 – ABJ / TTP Technique

Article 79 – Spandane The Art of Living

Article 83 – Change yourself, not the world

Article 84 – Anomalies of Human behaviour

Article 10 – Marriage expectations –Opinions & checklist (Event Management section)

F Common Tips:

1 Let there be spaces in your relationship.

2 Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.

3 All fingers are not alike.

4 Each person inherits good and bad qualities.

5 Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their behavior

with you.

6 Respect individuality.

7 Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.

8 We all need each other.

9 No body is perfect.

10 When you are angry, criticize the behavior, not the person.

11 Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’

G Tips- Relationship with Husband:

G-1 Introduction:

Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying solely

on fate. Decision is tougher for the lady.

Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who doesn’t eat.

7

G-2 Specific Tips- Relationship with Husband:

1 Let there be spaces in your relationship.


3 Feel free to discuss you problem.

4 Spend time with each other in the capacity of a Friend.

5 Expectations from spouse should be realistic.

6 Never take each other for granted.

7 Good points of the spouse should be remembered.

8 Think of the two as a TEAM.

9 Every person should have friends of various levels to fill the gap in his life. Many

times we face such situations which can not be discussed with parents, spouse,

colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you may be

deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in such

situations. Make your husband as your ‘best friend’ with whom you should be in a

position to discuss anything & everything.

H Before you make an attempt to establish relationship with In-Laws:

Before you make an attempt to establish relationship with In-Laws, it is not of place

to consider your graph of relationship with your own parents. Please remember that

you can change overnight.

1 Our relationship with parents varies as we grow.

2 We all carry high opinion about our parents when we are small.

3 We soon dislike our parents as more restrictions are placed on us as we grow old.

4 When we get married and become parents, we start realizing the challenges faced by

our parents and real meaning of their behavior those days gets unfolded.

5 When we grow old, our original childhood belief gets confirmed that our parents are

really great.

I Specific Tips- Relationship with In-Laws:

1 You should stand by your In-Laws in periods of transition such as retirement, death,

illness etc.

2 Share your feelings with your In-Laws.

3 Be sensitive & understanding towards your In-Laws and their needs.

8 4 Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for your husband & You.

5 Make them feel that they are special and they matter to you.

6 Forgive your In-Laws for their shortcomings as you also forgive your parents.

7 If your In-Laws are living with you then spend some time with them every day.

8 Even if they are not staying with you, make it a point to visit them regularly, talk on

telephone preferably at a fixed time etc.

9 If you disagree with them on current issue then make them aware politely of same.

J What views / perceptions you should carry about LIFE?: (My Recommendations)

I am aware that you also must be having views and perceptions about LIFE but

might not have documented the same. I suggest that you must make an attempt to

list them for your good. Some of the time tested views, perceptions and realities of

Life have been listed below for your ready reference. These views in fact give reply

to our strange behaviour at times.

1 You may not get what you want in Life but you can certainly love what you get in

Life.

2 You should not carry any complex either inferior or superior. You should carry

equality complex.

3 You should ‘mean’ what you say but you may not ‘say’ what you mean unless called

for.

4 You should believe in individuality.

5 You should honour every person’s ideas and skills.

6 You should always try to do what is right.

7 You should constantly exchange information and knowledge and keep optimum

amount of transparency in your dealings.

8 You should constantly look for every opportunity to learn.

9 You should look at every thing first from brain and subsequently from heart.

10 You should consider Saving as first charge on income.

11 You should not ignore signals. (Take macro meaning)

12 Happiness lies in MIND.

13 You should constantly practice that our mind should rule our body and intelligence

should rule our mind.

14 You should try to break outdated barriers in life.

15 You should exercise control over ‘Hurry’ ‘Worry’ and ‘Curry’.

9 16 You should take pride in doing household chores.

17 You should try to do Right thing at a Right time and in Right proportion.

18 You should do retrospection at periodic intervals.

19 You should try to balance cost and benefits in every matter.

20 You should either don’t carry EGO or try to keep the EGO under control.

21 You should believe that you owe some obligations to society.

22 You should always do PLANNING before taking any action, decision etc. (Take macro

meaning)

K Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are important.

You may have to make some variation according to the situation.

1 If you happen to dislike the person, do not cross him out. Instead try to develop

relationship by adhering to the following principles based on new technique of

‘One Tick and Two Cross’ and of creating ‘Goodwill’. Kindly read these Tips

carefully and simultaneously think as how you would generate ‘Goodwill / achieving

One Tick and use it for double crossing’. Please remember that I am not trying to

instigate you against your In-Laws but having landed with the new relationship,

I am trying to guide as to how you can still swim against the Tide. Always consider as

to how you would react before you march towards establishing relationship /

applying these Tips.

2 You must learn minimum cooking from mother well before marriage.

3 Carry your telephone diary containing addresses, telephone numbers etc. of your

relatives.

4 Your personal important papers (such as passing certificates, degrees, school leaving

certificate, passport, and financial investments) need not be carried immediately after

marriage but should be left with Parents.

5 You need not make hurry in changing nomination on LIC policies, TDRs etc. in favour

of husband. The same may be done after a year. Observe whether he is initiating such

steps?

6 Request your husband to open bank account jointly with you. You should also open

another bank account in your name jointly with husband. Account should be operated

E/S. Safe deposit Locker in a bank should also be hired to keep your gold ornaments

etc.

7 Make an attempt to avoid conflict.

10 8 Make Strength, Weakness, Opportunities & Threats (SWOT) Analysis of your self,

husband and In-Laws. You may refer Books section sub-section Management of

www.spandane.com.

9 Seek permission to call Mother-in-law as ‘Mom’. Similarly seek permission to call

‘Father-in-Law’ as ‘Papa’. Ascertain whether In-Laws have any objection if you wish to

call your husband by name. Of course you also need to seek permission from your

husband to call him by name.

10 If you wish that your name should not be changed after marriage, then speck well in

advance with In-Laws and husband in respect of same.

11 In case you have no objection to change of name, then take initiative to suggest the

new name of your choice.

12 Prepare a Table of Birthdays, Marriage anniversaries, Death anniversaries etc. of near

relatives of your husband along with contact numbers, mobile numbers, Email IDs etc.

13 Identify weak / sensitive points of your husband, In-Laws. Relationship gets

developed very fast when you pamper the person on his weak / sensitive point.

14 GOD has given 2 eyes. 2 ears but only 1 mouth. Obviously I am suggesting that

initially you should talk less.

15 Diplomatically enquire with In-Laws about your husband’s childhood days, his likes,

dislikes, preferences, friends, hobbies etc. You can make use of this information to win

over or control. You may also request them to show childhood snaps if available to

judge the development in his personality over the years. You should cross verify this

information diplomatically with husband.

16 Diplomatically enquire with your husband about In-Laws. (Their likes, dislikes,

preferences, friends, hobbies, relatives etc.) You should cross verify this information

diplomatically with In-Laws.

17 Ascertain the relationship between Father-in-Law and Mother-in-Law and with your

husband. Whether husband is under their influence or vice versa?

18 Make all out efforts to create Goodwill.

19 Keep optimum Transparency in your dealings and speech.

20 Develop ability to say ‘NO’. But ‘No’ approach should be resorted as a last resort.

Don’t allow any one to take undue advantage of yours including your husband.

21 You should have sense of proportion in every respect. You should always know what

is call of the hour / day?

22 If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it. But there is no

11 guarantee that it would happen. Hence you must try to establishment relationship by

following ‘Formality’.

23 Create ‘Back up’. Any talk with In-Laws should be informed to husband before he gets

to know the same from In-Laws and vice versa. Develop cordial relationship with

husband’s brother, sister as back up.

24 Have you studied ‘Gobels Principle? Any false information hammered repeatedly is

believed. Do not follow this. Use the principle to tell the ‘Truth’ because many people

find it difficult to digest even the Truth in one go and Truth needs to be hammered.

25 Are you aware of the story of ‘Monkey and her kids’ told and proved by ‘Birbal’ to

‘Badshah’? Do not go out of the way to provide service even to your husband.

26 Respect the person irrespective of age to get respect.

27 Do not lie or tell half truth. Do not cover your husband. Don’t lie on his behalf. Do

not justify husband if he is wrong.

28 Inform husband before you wish to discuss controversial matter with In-Laws.

Ask him to speak to his parents. If he does not oblige, then you get moral right to talk

directly and he can not blame you for that.

29 Seek opinions as a formality. You will experience that generally you will not be

confronted on face and hence you can use this as a shield in case future problems

/contradictory remark is passed on you.

30 Motivate In-Laws, husband to pursue hobbies, dreams etc. Help them to achieve the

same. Your goodwill will get generated permanently.

31 Share anything good. Say a good book, good article in a magazine/ newspaper, tasty

food, good entertainment programme etc.

32 Spend some time with In-Laws specifically.

33 Don’t argue. You will only land up hurting feelings. You must agree to disagree.

34 Be polite in your talk. Avoid Gossip and loose talk.

35 Discuss your dress code before hand with In-Laws and husband.

36 Every one is right in his own way but please remember that your right should not be

at the cost of some body’s right (not even your husband).

37 Any problem in Life should be accepted first, then if possible justify and finally you

may blame some body or your fate.

38 Any thing is possible in ‘Theory’. But it is also necessary to look into the ‘Technical’

feasibility and finally ‘Practical’ possibility.

39 Do not compare People, Luck, Wealth etc.

12 40 Do not be jealous.

41 Do Time Management. Spend time judiciously keeping in mind your goals.

Keep certain time for relaxation, hobbies, reading, meditation, exercise etc.

42 Do not compare your husband with your brothers, friends etc. No body is perfect.

43 You should master the Art of deriving 100 % satisfaction in 50 % inputs.

44 Do not try to change the routine on your own. First analyze the reasons for adopting

that pattern of routine, discuss the same with In-Laws.

45 You should manage your ‘Financial Matters’. You may inform husband about it but

refrain from seeking his advice unless he is professionally qualified to give advice.

46 Assist your husband in looking after his Financial matters such payment of LIC, PPF

etc. You will automatically get his financial info.

47 Discuss about Financial Goals, views about addition to family etc. in clear terms with

your husband.

48 You should be able to identify ‘Primary’ (i.e. direct) and ‘Collateral’ (i.e. indirect)

responsibility.

49 Do not go out of your way to impress In-Laws and husband.

50 Any discussion with husband should be done when his stomach is full. You will get

better response. Do not open controversial topics at night. Just seek his appointment.

He will insist to discuss right away. But refrain yourself. If he starts guessing your

mood & the matter, then be assured that you have won half the battle.

51 Relationship is like a rubber band. You must know the limit up to which the same

should be strained. After all we need each other. Dispute should not be carried too far.

There should be an escape route to reconcile.

52 Initially you should telephone your parents in presence of your In-Laws. This will

create confidence in their mind that you are happy and not complaining about them to

your parents. Subsequently you may telephone from mobile in case you really want to

complain.

53 Please remember that you can win your husband if his stomach is made happy to start

with.

54 Discuss about Lunch /Dinner programme openly with Mother-in-law to avoid dispute

later. You may enquire about taste preference etc. You can definitely prepare your

choice dish on a small scale. You may offer sample for testing. The movement they

realize that new dish is not thrust on them, their response will be positive.

55 Do not give out of the way impression of happiness openly. It is difficult to judge

13 persons in very few days.

56 Please remember that ‘Silence’ and ‘smile’ are two powerful tools. One tries to avoid

the problem and one tries to solve the problem. Master the timing for its use.

57 Do not lose sight of ‘Woman Power.’ She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love, and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she is happy and laughs when she

is afraid. Her love is unconditional. There is only one thing wrong with her.

She sometimes forgets what she is worth. Don’t forget your worth.

L I have already given few practical examples in above Tips. Now let me demonstrate

the concept of ‘Goodwill’ & ‘One Tick Two Cross’ specifically. I am sure that readers

would have already understood / thought over the concept, but for the sake of

completeness, I am giving few Live examples to drive my point.

1 You should tell In-laws when you leave house (or home) and also inform by what time

you would come and where you are going. (Unless you going to office). Your in-laws

can not complain afterwards that you do not have discipline. You can not be blamed

for late coming because you have already told expected time of returning and there can

always be delay in commuting.

2 Enquire as to which vegetables are preferred before doing kitchen shopping. You can

not be blamed for forcing the change in food habits and preferences. You can always

purchase one-two vegetables of your choice, for which no body would object.

3 In case you decide to go for the movie / shopping, request your husband to inform

/seek permission from his parents. Even then, next day just enquire casually as to

whether your husband has informed them of movie / shopping programme? Your in-

laws may not blame their son for not informing but would comment on you for not

informing. If your husband has a problem of keeping liaison with his parents, then he

would have sigh of relief. You are indirectly displaying to in-Laws as to how

disciplined you are.

4 Wish your husband’s close relatives such as brothers, sisters, uncle, Aatya (father-in-

law’s sister) etc. on their birthdays, wedding anniversary etc. It will be to their surprise

but you would create Goodwill. If your husband is not particular in this respect, your

goodwill value will double. You may either telephone, send SMS or email.

5 Whenever you do shopping, make it a point to purchase something for your In-laws.

They will be very happy because of your remembrance. Your cost of shopping for them

14 would be your investment in Goodwill.

6 In case your In-laws are old, then they might have fear for operating electronic gadgets

such as washing machine, oven, mixer, food processor, mobile, TV remote etc.

Just impart this knowledge as a friend and see how exited hey would be. They would

realize that it is not very difficult. Human being by very nature likes to learn.

Who knows that they might start helping you whenever you use these equipments?

Even otherwise you have already scored the point.

7 Similarly share with them the excitement of Internet. Show them the various locations,

snaps etc., explain the advantage of internet and its search engine. I am sure they will

be very excited and it quite likely that their son would have never shared this

information.

8 If they are fond of reading, please suggest the names of good books. If possible, start

library for them and offer service of changing books etc. This will give you an

opportunity to have evening walk (in case you are not serving.) Let me remind you

that List of books worth reading is also available on my website ‘www.spandane.com’.

I am sure that In-Laws will be impressed.

9 In case you are not serving and your husband returns late from the office, then take

mother-in-law for a walk say 2-3 days in a week. She will be very excited. Her health

will also improve. (Long term advantage for you.) You will also get opportunity to

comment on good health habits and propose some changes in food habits. You can

refer Medical section of www.spandane.com for such Tips.

10 In case you have gone on a week end trip. Then make it a point to inform about safe

reaching. (Old aged parents always worry about their kids.) Do telephone once or

twice a day; enquire about their lunch, sleep, health etc. See for yourself how you will

be welcomed on your arrival.

11 Wish Goodnight to In-laws. Keep pain balm, hot water, usual medicines etc. near their

bed. They won’t disturb you at night. Look at it as a goodwill measure.

12 The above list is only illustrative. I request you to keep this ‘Goodwill aspect’ in your

dealings. This goodwill can be used at a later date for marking ‘Two crosses’ in case of

dispute. You can boost that you have carried out every duty and you are not ready to

accept any trifle allegations.

13 You will realize that underlying principle I wish to highlight is of Professional

/determined approach for developing relationships. If you are good natured lady by

birth, then you don’t even have to read these Tips. But just compare your behaviour

15 with your parents. Can you change overnight on reaching In-Laws residence?

Reply would be obviously ‘No’ and hence you must develop a systematic approach

for developing relationship.

14 We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him up

to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our Boss, colleagues etc. though we

may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why not

apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with your

marriage.)

M How to avoid Family Stress:

1 Jagi sarva sukhi asa kon ahe vichari mana tuchi shodhoni pahe….Ramdas Swami.

(There is no body in this world who is happy in all respects)

2 Every one carries/ faces stress. Nature of stress varies from person to person. It is born

with your birth & continues till your death. Every happiness & luxury has element of

inbuilt stress. Today this subject has acquired great importance. World has changed

over the years. New inventions have resulted in saving of human energy and time.

Now the question is whether the man and his sentiments have changed?

The answer is NO. Man’s basic nature is of happiness and every one makes all out

efforts to seek happiness but the problem is that he does not know as to where he will

get happiness.

3 Most people find it difficult to define stress, yet they experience it often. Stress can be

defined as an excessive demand on physical and mental energy, often leading to anger,

anxiety, distress, fear, irritability and frustration.

In the light of this background, I intend to give few Tips to avoid Family Stress.

4 You must acquire skill to stay at home as a Guest.

5 Please remember that Every person has an Ego.

6 Please remember that Every person has Individuality.

7 Do your own work.

8 Help other family members.

9 Cultivate Apathy.

10 Give respect to get Respect.

11 Forget your office designation at home.

12 Forget your educational achievements at home while dealing with family members.

16 N Disclaimer:

1 I do not claim that this Article is full proof but I am confident that careful reading can

certainly assist you as a Torch in exploring unknown jungle of new relationship.

2 Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down principles may

still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial relationship

you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for

‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’

3 Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally instead of relying on

your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?

4 In fact many of the above Tips can be successfully used to improve relationships with

people.

5 Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as

elaborative as possible. Email may be sent to [email protected].

Compiled by Spandane (www.spandane.com) Saturday, September 19, 2009


16-Behaviour Therapy for would be Bridegroom:

A Why such Behaviour Therapy was developed?

1 ‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex

phenomenon. Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like

them or not at a later stage in our life.

2 If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the

relationship on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education,

designation, status while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, in-laws etc.

3 One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last

moment in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.

4 Every girl makes compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and

dear ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins the husband's family

unknown to her. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be husband.’

In fact he is the only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if her

expectations and assumptions are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s

status/value literally falls in her mind though again she cannot discuss this with

anyone openly. Even her parents will try and blame her.




now settled.

6 As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid

down principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover

building cordial relationship, you need similar thinking from opposite side as well.

You need two hands for ‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’

7 If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it. But there is no

guarantee that it would so happen. Hence, you must try to establish the relationship by

adhering to various Tips listed below. Why not make an attempt to develop

relationship professionally instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your

head?

8 We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake of formality we tolerate him

/her up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc.

2 though we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the

case, why not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible

decision with your marriage.)

9 Although this Therapy has been prescribed to would be ‘Bridegroom’ but ‘Any

Bridegroom’ can start following this therapy depending upon the intention to

redevelop, mould, reconcile relationship with wife. In fact many of the above Tips can

be successfully used to improve relationships with people.

10 These Tips have been prepared based on my experience as counsellor and observations

of people from childhood. It was my good fortune that I came across many people who

taught ‘How not to behave.’ I express my sincere thanks to them.

11 I am aware that few Tips have been deliberately repeated to drive the importance.

12 This Article has been dedicated to the fond memory of my Late Aai Smt. Shantabai

M. Vaidya (Born on 19-09-1919 & expired on 26-10-2004. She would have completed

90 years today.)

B Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs:

1 Human being is considered as most intellectual ‘Animal’ in the universe. He can use

his brain, can think from various angles, knows the risk factors, can analyze cost-

benefits of his actions etc. If it is so, his behaviour is supposed to be consistent, rational

etc. But we observe in day to day life that it is not so. It is necessary to have insight of

‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of Marriage & social customs.

I cast upon you the duty to change / mould these customs in your personal life.

I have already broken many in my Life.

2 Bride’s name given by her parents is changed by her husband. You should discuss this

issue with your would-be wife and seek her opinion. (How many of you will be ready

to change your name after marriage?)

3 Marriage is usually performed by adhering to Age old religious rituals without taking

pains to understand the logic behind such Age old rituals. (In fact it is the prestige

point for parents of both sides that their ‘so called educated kids’ agreed to get

married traditionally.) (I feel that One should always do what one believes.) Let me

suggest that both of you should pay attention to the rituals and try to understand the

meaning of it. This will be the investment for your happy married life. If you are

getting married according to old religious rituals without paying attention, then

I would say that you are not only deceiving your parents but you are deceiving

3 yourself.

4 Why the proportion of divorce has increased over the years in spite of getting married

traditionally? (Is it because that no attention is given to Mantras and expected

behaviour of a couple after marriage / marriage oath explained by ‘Guruji’ or not

understanding the word ‘Freedom’?)

5 Why even daily ‘Puja’ (worship of GOD) is not performed after marriage?

(Daily routine Puja may not take more than 15 minutes in the morning.

Understandable, because the subject of ‘Time management’ is not given its due

importance by young generation.)

6 Husband can perform any religious rituals even after death of his beloved wife.

But why widow is not given similar right openly to perform religious rituals such as

marriage of her kids, Satyanarayan Puja etc.) Widow is not invited to Married Ladies

get together. Is it that lady has no social value after death of her husband? At the same

time she has a social value even if her husband is not looking after the family and is a

victim of bad habits. You should encourage your wife to call & give due importance

to widows in such function.

7 Husband expects that wife should take care of his parents. Whether wife gets the same

right to expect that husband should also take care of her parents? You should

definitely reciprocate and take due care of your In-Laws in case of need.

8 Husband can give financial help to his parents but wife has no such open right to offer

financial assistance to her parents. (In fact parents from both sides have not left any

stone unturned to offer best of every thing to their kids.) You should allow your wife

to give financial assistance to her parents in case of need at least.

9 There is an age old tussle between ‘Mother-in-law’ (Sasu) & ‘Daughter-in-law’ (Sun).

I will unfold the secret that ‘Sasu’ means ‘Sarakhya suchana’ (Continuous instructions)

and ‘Sun’ means ‘Suchana Nakota.’(Instructions should not be given.) (It is expected

that both should perform balancing act in giving and listening instructions.)

(In fact nobody becomes small by following useful instructions given for their own

betterment.) You should also request your In-Laws to warn you whenever you make

mistake.

4

C Anomalies of Family matters:

1 It is also necessary to have insight of ‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of

Family matters.

2 Mother-in-law looking after household work till day of marriage expects her daughter-

in-law to take over the said responsibilities from the very next day after marriage.

If your Mother tries to do this, then you should stand by your wife.

3 Mother-in-law applies different measuring rods for daughter & daughter-in-law.

If you come across any such incident, you should be bold enough to discuss it out

with your Mother and should not sit on the fence.

4 Man talks about equality in rights and duties but does not like to assit his wife in

household chores. It is absolutely necessary to offer helping hand to your wife

irrespective of the fact she is employed or not.

5 To avoid / run away from tension, a man resorts to bad habits such as tobacco,

smoking or drinking, but does not like if his spouse acquiring these bad habits.

(When husband becomes prey of bad habits, how wife should counter her tension

due to this?) Becoming victim of bad habits is not the solution for any problem or

tension in Life. Instead you should share the tension with your wife. Have confidence

in your wife. She will definitely offer solution to the problem. Please remember that

your problem is her problem and her problem is your problem.

6 A husband expects his wife to adjust with family members when he himself has spent

good time in adjusting with his own family members. You must help your wife to

adjust with your family members. In fact you can give feedback of each member

about their likes, mindset, preferences, food habits etc.

7 Head of the family talking ‘Shreya’ matters is not liked by junior members.

(Shreya means what is good for the person. Such advice is usually bitter.)

Every one likes to listen ‘Preya’ or ‘Sweet’ advice.) In case your father or mother gives

such advice to your wife and she is upset, then you should convince your wife as to

how the advice is correct and is for her / our good.

8 A well educated person wants to marry qualified and earning girl. But on getting

married, wife is expected to leave the job to look after the house. (Or home?) In fact

your concept should be clear from the day one. You should discuss frankly with

would be wife before marriage to avoid her disappointment by dictating your

decision.

5 9 A young man wearing spectacles or contact lens wants to marry a girl with good eye

sight. You should think as to how far you are right in your expectation.

10 We get restless on getting fat electricity bill and shout on kids for waste of electricity by

watching TV for long hours, playing computer games, taking printouts and throwing

them in dust bin etc; but we ourselves forget to switch off the fan, tube light, AC etc. on

moving out of the room. Are you disciplined? If not start the exercise from your end

before you try to put somebody in a witness box.

11 In many communities Puja is not complete without offering milk, coconuts, food

grains etc. to GOD (by whatever name called). (Is it not possible to give these offerings

to a needy person?) You should encourage your wife to think on this aspect.

12 God does not stay in temple but stays /hides himself in every person. (We seldom try

to recognize this GOD and spend our time and energy in offering prayer to the God in

the temple.) (Kindly excuse me if somebody’s sentiments are hurt.)

13 Young generation do not think while making ‘mistakes’ before marriage but thereafter

keep thinking all the time as to how to hide the same from the Life partner.

(It is needless to say that husband-wife relationship should be transparent.)

D How to avoid conflict?




now settled. In view of this reality, if you are successful in avoiding the Conflict to

start with, I would say that half the battle is won.

2 Hence I intend to touch upon ‘Conflict Management.’ Conflict is part of our LIFE.

We may not be fortunate to avoid all conflicts but we can certainly try to manage them

well in time. Understanding reasons of conflict & acceptance of conflict etc. are most

essential for its management.

3 We must first understand the main reasons for conflict:

3.1 Unmet needs and wants. (Unmet wants could be physical, mental etc.)

3.2 Values: Our values drive our behavior. Our values may differ about time, work,

health, relationship, spending habits etc.

3.3 Perceptions: There are always three sides to any matter/ problem.

3.4 Knowledge: The information or knowledge given or not given may cause conflict.

3.5 Assumptions: We make assumptions on what we know. Conflict may take place when

6 assumptions are not checked for accuracy or are not updated periodically.

3.6 Expectations: Conflict may occur when we do not know each other’s expectations.

Expectations should be made known in clear terms to each other. Sooner the better.

3.7 Growing up differently: Each generation views life and work differently.

3.8 Willingness and ability to deal with conflicts.

3.9 Three personalities are hidden in every individual, namely Parent, Adult and Child.

These personalities keep changing from time to time and from situation to situation.

When two persons happen to be in similar personalities say Adult while dealing, then

the chances of conflict are remote.

E Recommended Reading from www.spandane.com Spandane Articles.

1 In fact all Spandane Articles will enrich your LIFE but you should at least read the

following Spandane Articles from www.spandane.com.

Article 18 - Shivamuth

Article 36 - Consultant

Article 44 – PERT / CPM

Article 51 – MOL - DIL

Article 53 – Communication Skills

Article 55 – Time Management

Article 59 – Happy Man’s shirt

Article 61 – Anger Management

Article 70 – Conflict Management

Article 71 – ABJ / TTP Technique

Article 79 – Spandane The Art of Living

Article 83 – Change yourself, not the world

Article 84 – Anomalies of Human behaviour

Article 10 – Marriage expectations –Opinions & checklist (Event Management section)

F Common Tips:

1 Let there be a space in your relationship.

2 Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.

3 All fingers are not alike.

4 Each person inherits good and bad qualities.

5 Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their behavior



7 with you.

6 Respect individuality.

7 Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.

8 We all need each other.

9 Nobody is perfect.


11 Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’

G Tips- Relationship with Wife:

G-1 Introduction:

Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying solely

on fate. Decision is tougher for the lady.

Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who doesn’t eat.

Your relationship with Wife does not start after marriage is fixed and engagement

takes place. Ideally the relationship would start after 1st round of talks. You should

frankly discuss your opinions, expectations from wife. You must bear in mind that

she would also have her opinion and choice of Life partner. The lady should also put

forth her views in this regard. But please remember that in a ‘Male Dominated

Society,’ seldom she would get the right to express herself openly or even to exercise

the option to reject the boy. Hence, it is necessary for you to take the lead and open

the discussion. Sorting of points of agreements and disagreements before conveying

final ‘Yes’ for the marriage will lay the strong foundation for a long and happy

married life.

I have prepared the checklist of various points on which you should express your

expectations, opinions & extent of adjustment. (Refer schedule attached at end)

G-2 Specific Tips- Relationship with Wife:

1 Let there be a space in your relationship.


3 Feel free to discuss your problem.

4 Spend time with each other in the capacity of a Friend.

5 Expectations from spouse should be realistic.

6 Never take each other for granted.

8 7 Good points of the spouse should be remembered.

8 Think of the two as a TEAM.

9 Every person should have friends at various levels to fill the gap in his life. Many

times we face such situations which cannot be discussed with parents, spouse,

colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you may be

deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in such

situations. Make your wife as your ‘best friend’ with whom you should be in a

position to discuss anything & everything.

H Specific Tips- Relationship with In-Laws:

1 You should stand by your In-Laws in periods of transition such as retirement, death,

illness etc.

2 Share your feelings with your In-Laws.

3 Be sensitive & understanding towards your In-Laws and their needs.

4 Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for your wife.

5 Make them feel that they are special and they matter to you.

6 Forgive your In-Laws for their shortcomings as you also forgive your parents.

7 Make it a point to visit them regularly, talk on telephone preferably at a fixed time etc.

It is your duty not only to keep your wife happy but to convince them that she is

really happy.

8 If you disagree with them on current issue then make them aware politely of same.

I What views / perceptions you should carry about LIFE?: (My Recommendations)

I am aware that you also must be having views and perceptions about LIFE but

might not have documented the same. I suggest that you must make an attempt to

list them for your good. Some of the time tested views, perceptions and realities of

Life have been listed below for your ready reference. These views in fact give reply

to our strange behaviour at times.

1 You may not get what you want in Life but you can certainly love what you get in

Life.

2 You should not carry any complex either inferior or superior. You should carry

equality complex.

3 You should ‘mean’ what you say but you may not ‘say’ what you mean unless called

for.

9 4 You should believe in individuality.

5 You should honour every person’s ideas and skills.

6 You should always try to do what is right.

7 You should constantly exchange information and knowledge and keep optimum

amount of transparency in your dealings.

8 You should constantly look for every opportunity to learn.

9 You should look at every thing first from brain and subsequently from heart.

10 You should consider Saving as first charge on income.

11 You should not ignore signals. (Take macro meaning)

12 Happiness lies in MIND.

13 You should constantly practice that our mind should rule our body and intelligence

should rule our mind.

14 You should try to break outdated barriers in life.

15 You should exercise control over ‘Hurry’ ‘Worry’ and ‘Curry’.

16 You should take pride in doing household chores.

17 You should try to do Right thing at a Right time and in Right proportion.

18 You should do retrospection at periodic intervals.

19 You should try to balance cost and benefits in every matter.

20 You should either don’t carry EGO or try to keep the EGO under control.

21 You should believe that you owe some obligations to society.

22 You should always do PLANNING before taking any action, decision etc. (Take macro

meaning)

23 You should measure the success by not what you have achieved but by what you

had to leave to achieve the same.

J-1 Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are important.

You may have to make some variation according to the situation.

1 If you happen to dislike the person, do not cross him out. Instead try to develop

relationship by adhering to the following principles based on new technique of

‘One Tick and Two Cross’ and of creating ‘Goodwill’. Kindly read these Tips

carefully and simultaneously think as how you would generate ‘Goodwill / achieving

One Tick and use it for double crossing’. Please remember that I am not trying to

instigate you against your In-Laws or spouse but having landed with the new

relationship, I am trying to guide as to how you can still swim against the Tide.

10 Always consider as to how you would react before you march towards establishing

relationship / applying these Tips.

2 You must learn minimum cooking from mother well before marriage so that you can

take care of yourself when you go abroad on deputation or when your wife goes to

your In-Laws residence either for delivery or otherwise.

3 Update your telephone diary with addresses, telephone numbers etc. of your wife’s

relatives.

4 You need not make hurry in changing nomination on LIC policies, TDRs etc. in favour

of wife. The same may be done after a year. Observe whether she is initiating such

steps?

5 Request your wife to open bank account jointly with you. You should also open

another bank account in your name jointly with wife. Account should be operated E/S.

Safe deposit Locker in a bank should also be hired to keep your gold ornaments etc.

6 Make an attempt to avoid conflict. (Refer Para D)

7 Make Strength, Weakness, Opportunities & Threats (SWOT) Analysis of your self,

wife, parents and In-Laws. You may refer Books section Sub-section Management

of www.spandane.com.

8 Seek permission to call Mother-in-law as ‘Mom’. Similarly seek permission to call

‘Father-in-Law’ as ‘Papa’.

9 If you wish that wife’s name should not be changed after marriage, then speck well in

advance with In-Laws and wife in respect of same.

10 In case you prefer to change wife’s name, then take initiative to suggest the new name

of your choice or seek suggestion from your ‘would be wife.’ In my opinion, you

should not change wife’s name for the sake of exercising your right. Discuss this

point with would be wife.

11 Prepare a Table of Birthdays, Marriage anniversaries, Death anniversaries etc. of near

relatives of your wife along with contact numbers, mobile numbers, Email IDs etc.

12 Identify weak/sensitive points of your wife & In-Laws. Relationship gets developed

very fast when you pamper the person on his weak / sensitive points.

13 GOD has given 2 Eyes, 2 Ears but only 1 Mouth. Obviously I am suggesting that

initially you should talk less with In-Laws.

14 Diplomatically enquire with In-Laws about your wife’s childhood days, her likes,

dislikes, preferences, friends, hobbies etc. You can make use of this information to

win over or control. You may also request them to show childhood snaps if available

11 to judge the development in her personality over the years. You should cross verify

this information diplomatically with wife.

15 Diplomatically enquire with your wife about In-Laws. (Their likes, dislikes,

preferences, friends, hobbies, relatives etc.) You should cross verify this information

diplomatically with In-Laws.

16 Ascertain the relationship between Father-in-Law and Mother-in-Law and with your

wife. Whether wife is under their influence or vice versa?

17 Make all out efforts to create Goodwill.

18 Keep optimum Transparency in your dealings and speech.

19 Develop ability to say ‘NO’. But ‘No’ approach should be resorted as a last resort.

Don’t allow any one to take undue advantage of you including your wife.

20 You should have sense of proportion in every respect. You should always know what

is call of the hour/day?

21 If your relationship with In-Laws gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it.

But there is no guarantee that it would happen. Hence you must try to establishment

relationship by following ‘Formality’ tips mentioned in this Article.

22 Create ‘Back up’. Any talk with In-Laws should be informed to wife before she gets to

know the same from In-Laws and vice versa. Develop cordial relationship with wife’s

brother, sister as back up.

23 Have you studied ‘Gobels Principle? Any false information hammered repeatedly is

believed. Do not follow this. Use the principle to tell the ‘Truth’ because many people

find it difficult to digest even the Truth in one go and Truth needs to be hammered.

24 Are you aware of the story of ‘Monkey and her kids’ told and proved by ‘Birbal’ to

‘Badshah’? Do not go out of the way to provide service even to your wife and /in-

Laws.

25 Respect the person irrespective of age to get respect.

26 Do not lie or tell half truth. Don’t lie on her behalf. Do not justify wife if she is

wrong.

27 Inform wife before you wish to discuss controversial matters with In-Laws.

Ask her to speak to her parents. If she does not oblige, then you get moral right to talk

directly and she can not blame you for that.

28 Seek opinions as a formality. You will experience that generally you will not be

confronted and hence you can use this as a shield in case future problems

/contradictory remark is passed on you.

12 29 Motivate In-Laws, wife to pursue hobbies, dreams etc. Help them to achieve the same.

Your goodwill will get generated permanently.

30 Share anything good. Say a good book, good article in a magazine/ newspaper, tasty

food, good entertainment programme etc.

31 Spend some time with In-Laws specifically.

32 Don’t argue. You will only land up hurting feelings. You must agree to disagree.

33 Be polite in your talk. Avoid Gossip and loose talk.

34 Every one is right in his own way but please remember that your right should not be

at the cost of some body’s right. (not even your wife)

35 Any problem in Life should be accepted first, then if possible justify and finally you

may blame some body or your fate.

36 Any thing is possible in ‘Theory’. But it is also necessary to look into the ‘Technical’

feasibility and finally ‘Practical’ possibility.

37 Do not compare People, Luck, Wealth etc.

38 Do not be jealous.

39 Do Time Management. Spend time judiciously keeping in mind your goals.

Keep certain time for relaxation, hobbies, reading, meditation, exercise etc.

40 Do not compare your wife with your sisters, lady friends etc. No body is perfect.

41 You should master the Art of deriving 100 % satisfaction in 50 % inputs.

42 Think positively in case your wife desires to change / modify some routine in your

house. First analyze the reasons for new pattern of routine, keep open mind, discuss

frankly and then change the routine by mutual discussion.

43 You should manage your ‘Financial Matters’. You may inform wife about it but refrain

from seeking her advice unless she is professionally qualified to give advice.

44 Assist your wife in looking after her Financial matters such payment of LIC, PPF etc.

You will automatically get her financial info.

45 Discuss about Financial Goals, views about addition to family etc. in clear terms with

your wife.

46 You should be able to identify ‘Primary’ (i.e. direct) and ‘Collateral’ (i.e. indirect)

responsibility in relation with your In-Laws.

47 Do not go out of your way to impress In-Laws and wife.

48 Any discussion with wife should be done when her stomach is full. You will get

better response. Do not open controversial topics at night. Just seek her appointment.

She will insist to discuss right away. But refrain yourself. If she starts guessing your

13 mood & the matter, then be assured that you have won half the battle.

49 Relationship is like a rubber band. You must know the limit up to which the same

should be strained. After all we need each other. Dispute should not be carried too far.

There should be an escape route to reconcile.

50 Initially you should telephone your In-Laws in presence of your wife. This will create

confidence in her mind that you are happy and not complaining about her to her

parents. Subsequently you may telephone from mobile in case you really want to

complain.

51 You should inform about taste preference of your family members to your wife.

You should not force your food habits on her. She should be encouraged to cook dishes

of her choice.

52 Do not give out of the way impression of happiness openly. It is difficult to judge

persons in very few days.

J-2 Additional Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are

important. You may have to make some variation according to the situation.

I am aware that few Tips have been deliberately repeated to drive the importance.

1 Are you aware that ladies undergo mood swings more than men? If yes, then are you

aware of the reasons for the same? I leave this matter for you to guess. If you are

successful in searching the answer then you have already won half the battle.

2 Whenever you send any email to her relatives and then do not forget to mark BCC to

your wife.

3 Always offer helping hand to spouse. There are many household chores you can do

independently. e.g. arranging dining table, putting utensils, plates etc. in washing area

after lunch/dinner, making monthly list of household purchases to be made, house

cleaning etc.

4 Giving feedback regarding preferences, likes, dislikes of parents, brothers, sisters on

various issues to spouse. This would certainly help her to chalk out her relationship

path with them.

5 Spend some time with spouse during the day to share the day’s experience.

6 Make it a point to have Sunday dinner in a good hotel. Underlying idea is to give well

deserved break to your spouse from kitchen work.

7 Make breakfast at least fortnightly for spouse and kids. Let me assure you that

cooking is not all that difficult.

14 8 Make bed tea or first tea or afternoon tea for the family at least on few days in a month.

9 Don’t ever forget the birthday of your spouse. Make the necessary planning to

celebrate the same.

10 Bring small gifts on regular basis for spouse at least initially. Frequency can be

adjusted depending on her reaction, expectations etc.

11 You should be clear about the strategy (Such as to dictate, listen and give opinion, not

giving any reaction, reserving the opinion etc.) you would adopt in various situations.

12 Maintain utmost transparency in your opinion on various issues pertaining to wife

such as job, dress code etc. Discuss out such issues openly and clearly to avoid the

dispute.

13 Seek her opinion on all important issues directly affecting the family life. Do not take

her for granted.

14 Stand by her in case of dispute if she is right.

15 You should master the ‘Art & Science of Equilibrium’ in relationship between your

wife and Mother.

16 Make it a point to have dinner together. Do not discuss any disputed points at the

time of Dinner.

17 Decide on convenient Lunch / Dinner menu in case wife is employed. Do not demand

your favorite dish at eleventh hour.

18 Learn the art of restricting / restructuring your likes such as hot rotis, fresh food etc.

Also refrain from bad habits such as smoking, drinks etc.

19 In case you happen to reach home early in the evening, try to start on the preparation

for the dinner such as preparing cooker, boiling milk etc.

20 Greet her on her return. Take the bag etc. from her hand. Offer water, show

willingness to prepare tea for wife in case she returns late.

21 Small household chores such as opening door, attending telephone calls, taking home

work of kids, telling stories to kids, filling up of water storage tank, arranging

bedroom, operating washing machine at times should be undertaken with a smiling

face irrespective of fact whether your wife is working or not.

22 See to it that your right should not be at the cost of somebody’s right. Try to do your

jobs such as washing own clothes, shopping of your essentials/clothes, ironing, etc.

23 You should be capable of doing practically every job done by your wife such as

minimum cooking, cleaning home etc.

24 Clarify your expectations regarding dress code, religious rituals well in advance.

15 Try to find out her opinions on the subject before any decision is taken.

25 In case you are staying separately, then make it a point to visit your parents, your in-

laws at periodic intervals. You should also telephone them regularly. However the

frequency needs to be defined depending on circumstances such as age, their

dependence on you and your wife etc.

26 It is generally observed that wife likes to get her opinion seconded by the husband.

You should encourage wife to take independent decisions. If need be she should be

motivated to discuss the process of decision making with you. You should prompt her

to consider pros and cons of each action. This will certainly help you in long run when

you need ‘Third party opinion’ for the decision being taken by you.

27 Express the gratitude for the efforts taken by wife for the family.

28 Please remember that ‘Silence’ and ‘smile’ are two powerful tools. One tries to avoid

the problem and one tries to solve the problem. Master the timing for its use.

29 Do not lose sight of ‘Woman Power.’ She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love, and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she is happy and laughs when she

is afraid. Her love is unconditional. There is only one thing wrong with her.

She sometimes forgets what she is worth. Don’t forget her worth.

30 Try to create respect in her mind. Give respect to get respect.

31 Are you aware about wife’s expectations from Husband? Let me throw some light.

Housing, Understanding, Sharing, Buying And Never Demanding. Try to come up to

her expectations.

32 Study her handwriting, body language and make judgments about her personality.

Refer Miscellaneous section of www. Spandane.com.

33 Also refer Astrology section of www. Spandane.com for studying ‘Numerology, Rashi,

Nakshatra’ etc. This will offer good help to judge her in advance.

34 Offer some pocket money even if she is a working lady.

35 See to it that she gives proper Gifts to her parents on various occasions such as

birthday, wedding anniversary etc.

36 Take LIC policy in her name for a duration of 25 years. Premiums should be paid by

you. LIC proceeds on maturity should be gifted at the time of celebrating silver

jubilee of your marriage.

37 Encourage her to save money in case she is a working lady.

38 Give your family details about birthdays, wedding anniversary, telephone numbers,

16 email id etc. of your relatives to wife.

39 Various delicate issues such as her job, purchasing flat, renovation, household expense

budget, expanding the family etc. should be frankly discussed with wife.

40 Make SWOT Analysis of wife, her Parents.

41 Telephone wife before leaving office.

42 If your wife is facing some problem in reconciling with your parents, then take the lead

to bridge the communication gap between them.

43 Have you read ‘Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides’? If not, then do read it.

Do not allow wife to score a point on you.

K I have already given few practical examples in above Tips. Now let me demonstrate

the concept of ‘Goodwill’ & ‘One Tick Two Cross’ specifically. I am sure that readers

would have already understood / thought over the concept, but for the sake of

completeness, I am giving few Live examples to drive my point.

1 You should tell parents when you leave house (or home) and also inform by what time

you would come and where you are going. (Unless you going to office). Your parents

can not complain afterwards. Your wife will learn this message and she would also

start this practice. Trifle matter of dispute would get avoided.

2 In case you decide to go for the movie / shopping, request your wife to inform your

parents. Even then, next day just enquire casually as to whether your wife has

informed them of movie / shopping programme? You are indirectly displaying to

wife as to how disciplined you are.

3 Wish your wife’s close relatives such as brothers, sisters, uncle, Aatya (father-in-law’s

sister) etc. on their birthdays, wedding anniversary etc. It will be to their surprise but

you would create Goodwill. If your wife is not particular in this respect, your goodwill

value will double. You may either telephone, send SMS or email.

4 Whenever you do shopping, make it a point to purchase something for your In-laws.

They will be very happy because of your remembrance. Your cost of shopping for them

would be your investment in Goodwill.

5 In case you have gone on a week end trip. Then make it a point to inform about safe

reaching to your parents and In-Laws. (Old aged parents always worry about their

kids.) Do telephone once or twice a day; enquire about their lunch, sleep, health etc.

6 The above list is only illustrative. I request you to keep this ‘Goodwill aspect’ in your

17 dealings. This goodwill can be used at a later date for marking ‘Two crosses’ in case of

dispute. You can boost that you have carried out every duty and you are not ready to

accept any trifle allegations.

7 You will realize that underlying principle I wish to highlight is of Professional /

determined approach for developing relationships. If you are good natured boy by

birth, then you don’t even have to read these Tips. But just compare your behaviour

with your parents. Can you change overnight? Reply would be obviously ‘No’ and

hence you must develop a systematic approach for developing relationship.

8 We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate them

up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our Boss, colleagues etc. though

we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case,

why not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision

with your marriage.)

L How to avoid Family Stress:

1 Jagi sarva sukhi asa kon ahe vichari mana tuchi shodhoni pahe….Ramdas Swami.

(There is no body in this world who is happy in all respects)

2 Every one carries/ faces stress. Nature of stress varies from person to person. It is born

with your birth & continues till your death. Every happiness & luxury has element of

inbuilt stress. Today this subject has acquired great importance. World has changed

over the years. New inventions have resulted in saving of human energy and time.

Now the question is whether the man and his sentiments have changed?

The answer is NO. Man’s basic nature is of happiness and every one makes all out

efforts to seek happiness but the problem is that he does not know as to where he

will get happiness.

3 Most people find it difficult to define stress, yet they experience it often. Stress can be

defined as an excessive demand on physical and mental energy, often leading to anger,

anxiety, distress, fear, irritability and frustration.

In the light of this background, I intend to give few Tips to avoid Family Stress.

4 You must acquire skill to stay at home as a Guest.

5 Please remember that Every person has an Ego.

6 Please remember that Every person has Individuality.

7 Do your own work.

8 Help other family members.

18 9 Cultivate Apathy.

10 Give respect to get Respect.

11 Forget your office designation at home.

12 Forget your educational achievements at home while dealing with family members.

M Disclaimer:

1 I do not claim that this Article is full proof but I am confident that careful reading can

certainly assist you as a Torch in exploring unknown jungle of new relationship.

2 Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down principles may

still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial relationship

you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for


3 Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally instead of relying on

your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?

4 In fact many of the above Tips can be successfully used to improve relationships with

people.

5 Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as

elaborative as possible. Email may be sent to [email protected].



19 G-1 / Schedule of Checklist of Expectations from Spouse & Own Opinions:

Sr. No.

Expectations & Opinions

Adjustment

1 Dress Code, matching, hair style etc. 2 Finishing of incomplete education 3 Further advanced studies 4 Minimum Job tenure 5 Readiness to leave job after marriage 6 Professional responsibilities (if not serving) 7 Permission for carrying out Performing Art such as

singing, dance etc.

8 Priorities in Life (home, education, kids, career) 9 Financial Liabilities of would be wife.

10 How loans taken by would be wife will be repaid? 11 If housing loan is taken after marriage, whether she is

ready to offer helping hand for loan repayment /meet household expenses.

12 Investments made by would be wife. 13 Whether Passport has been taken? 14 Willingness to go abroad for few years. 15 Willingness to go abroad permanently. 16 Willingness to stay alone in case husband has to go

abroad on deputation for say 6 months etc.

17 Willingness to stay in a joint family. 18 Willingness to take responsibility of Parents. 19 Financial assistance to her parents. 20 Your expectations from wife – Friendship, ‘Yes’

attitude, critical analyst etc.

21 Life Style 22 Her Unmet wants & dreams. 23 What is Entertainment / Relaxation? 24 Whether she likes travelling, trekking etc. 25 Addiction of TV, Movies, Drama, Singing concerts,

reading etc.

26 Whether she knows Household jobs /routine? 27 Willingness to do household chores. 28 Her Habits not liked by others.(ask her) 29 Her Food preference – Veg. / Non Veg. 30 Whether she knows cooking? 31 Whether she likes cooking? 32 Whether she is religious? Atmosphere at your

residence.

33 Whether she knows driving? If not whether she would learn driving?

34 Whether she has male friends? How is her relationship with them?

35 Whether any affair in the past? 36 Her Idea of Freedom. 37 Her Decision making ability.

The list is illustrative.



17 / Three Stages of Marriage There are three stages of Marriage namely MAD for each other / MADE for each other /

MAD because of each other.

It is said that ‘Marriage Knots’ are tied in the ‘heaven’ but executed on ‘earth’. Marriage is

one of the most important events in the life of every person. It is often said jokingly that

‘Marriage is such a ‘Ladoo’ that whosoever eats the said ‘Ladoo’ repents as much as who does

not eat.’ Joke apart. Marriage brings two families together. It also brings tension, more so for

bride’s parents.

If marriage is based on the strong foundation, then one may not come across these stages.

But this is not the case most of the time. The success of the marriage largely depends on clear

decision making on various issues and maintaining transparency with other family members.

All management principles such as Planning, decision making, delegation, control and review

have role to play in this event.

Marriage is one the important event in everybody’s life. Marriage can be crudely defined as

society’s recognition of sexual relationship between the husband & wife. Marriage is a gamble

and every one plays at least once. Marriage is like a walking on a rope tied above the ground

level.

Marriage is the important junction in our life. Till marriage our life is smooth and keeps

running on the single track of education, service, parents, etc. Your parents carry your

responsibility on their shoulders. For the first time in your life, you undertake somebody’s

responsibility on your shoulders. If you are not adequately trained, then you feel the pain.

Marriage may be a function for the bridegroom but it is challenging time for the bride.

She has to leave her parents & her residence, compromise on her likes and dislikes and stay in

in-laws house with husband (known to her for last few days.). It is really difficult decision to

execute.

Every girl makes all compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and dear

ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins husband's family of unknown

2

Species. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be husband.’ In fact he is the

only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if her expectations and assumptions

are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s status/value literally falls in her mind

though again she can not discuss this with anyone openly. Even her parents will try and

blame her only.

It is also necessary to understand the Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs.

It is also necessary that a boy and the girl should discuss their opinions and expectations on

various issues such as food habits, hobbies, clothing preferences, career, education, staying

separately or in a joint family etc. Your attention is invited to the Spandane article namely

Marriage expectations-opinions under event management section of www.spandane.com.

‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex phenomenon.

Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like them or not at a latter

stage in our life.

If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the relationship

on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education, designation, status

while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, In-laws etc.

One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last moment

in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.

I am aware that developing any relationship is a long drawn process. You can vouch for this

statement from the fact that how our relationship with parents has taken ‘swings’ over the

years and it will be a bold statement to make that relationship has now settled.

As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down

principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial

relationship you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for


If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing likes it. But there is no guarantee

that it would so happen. Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally

3

instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?

We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him up to

the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc. though we may not

like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why not apply the same

formality in dealing with spouse & In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with your marriage.)

Your attention is invited to Spandane Articles namely behaviour therapy for brides and

bridegrooms under the section Spandane articles of www.spandane.com for various tips to

develop cordial relationship between the couple.

MAD for each other stage starts from few days prior to engagement and lasts up to few

days after honeymoon.

MADE for each other stage generally lasts for a long time.

MAD because of each other stage may start anytime but generally after 15-20 years of

marriage anniversary.

The above situation may be avoided by adhering to the following general tips.

Let there be spaces in your relationship.

Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.

All fingers are not alike.

Each person inherits good and bad qualities.

Your behaviour with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their

behaviour with you.

Respect individuality.

Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.

We all need each other.

No body is perfect.

When you are angry, criticize the behaviour, not the person.

Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’

Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as elaborative

as possible. Do share your observations on the subject with me on [email protected].


---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: manisha goregaonkar <[email protected]> Date: Sat, Mar 14, 2009 at 6:11 PM Subject: Fw: Facts about marriage To: Sudhir Vaidya <[email protected]>,

--- On Sat, 14/3/09, [email protected] <[email protected]> wrote: From: [email protected] <[email protected]> Subject: Facts about marriage To: Date: Saturday, 14 March, 2009, 12:01 PM

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets

her Master's.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ring.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: in the first year of marriage, the man

speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you

want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A

year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he

marries her.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

mailto:[email protected]






2 11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage

it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man

looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married,

and now he is going through HELL.

15. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

16. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe, Southeast Asia

and the Philippines.

17. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each

other, but they still stay together.

18. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to

decide which one.

19. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "y" becomes

silent.

20. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

21. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

22. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

23. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,

THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT

HAPPENED? Asked his friend. He says, MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

24. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before

I do, leave the hallway lights on.

25. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING

ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

26. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

27. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same

boss.

3 28. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received hundreds

of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

29. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the

car is new or the wife is NEW !

Hope you laughed a little and that your day will be HAPPY!!! Enjoy!!

--------- Forwarded message ---------- From: <[email protected]> Date: Thu, Mar 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM Subject: FW: Love and Marriage beautifully explained To: [email protected]



Management of marriage event

Leadership & Management

Transcript of Management of marriage event