Man Up Magazine

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featuresCareers Outside the CubicleJobs you didn’t know existed that could actually pay the bills.

New City, No ProblemYou’ve made the move—now put yourself out there.

Where Have all the Heroes Gone?When public figures fall from grace, who are we supposed to believe in?

GadGet maN8 Great appsYou already have “Dice with Buddies”—get these apps to help you manage the more tedious parts of your life.

mOGul maNYour Game PlanBecoming your own boss is easier than you think.

man-nerismsFive types of annoying guys: Are you one of them?

ladies maNHow to move in togetherTips on combining your possessions and personalities into one (probably small) space.

make up or Break upWe are never, ever, ever getting back together…or are we?

CuliNarY maNCrafting a Cold OneAll the tips you need to skip the beginner’s mistakes when it comes to home brewing.

Cook easeForget the takeout, and try one of these simple recipes.

inside

Man Up

fit maNare You man enough?Find out if you have what it takes to complete these challenges.

Winning WorkoutsHow to switch it up if you really want to improve your performance.

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from the editorWelcome to the first issue of Man Up.

This Issuu is a sample edition of our full magazine, which is available on the iPad.

A men’s magazine is probably the last thing you’d expect from a staff of 14 women. But we’ve done our research. That’s right: I already know a lot about you. Yes, you. In this all-digital magazine, you’ll find a pre-made bucket list of competitions that will impress your bros (if you’re man enough), a couple of impressive watches that do way more than just tell time and an interview with sex expert Emily Morse for those questions you wonder about but are just a little too uncomfortable to ask.

A digital magazine was the obvious choice because that’s where you’re going. You don’t just read this magazine; you get to interact with it. Whether you’re tapping the gadgets on Tech Yes or watching the video in Careers Outside the Cubicle, there’s more to these stories than could ever be in print.

One of my favorite stories is our cover story: Where Have All the Heroes Gone? As it was being written, more and more scandals were being exposed—making it all the more relevant. No matter who you used to look up to—Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, David Petraeus or Michael Vick, to name a few—I’m sure you can relate to the disappointment of watching a hero fall.

Get reading (swiping, scrolling, clicking, tapping) and find what you need to live life on the next level.

Emily TozerEditor-in-Chief

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GREATBY KATIE SHERIDAN

8APPS

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Hikers, create trails on your iPad before you head out for a new adventure. This app will help you pick how rough or scenic your route will be with aerial views and topographical maps of the areas around you. (Free “lite” version)

BACKPACKER MAP MAKER

OFFICETIME TRAPSTER WI-FI FINDER

This is a great app for small business owners. It organizes what goals were reached and what expenses were paid for into a summary for investors and an invoice for customers. (Free trial)

There’s no worse feeling than getting tricked by speed traps and red light cameras. Let Trapster’s community tell you where to watch out and do them the same courtesy with this information-sharing app. (Free)

If you’re constantly nervous about going over on your data plan, this app is for you. It lets you find all of the hot spots (and unsecured Internet connections) so you can stay out of the red. (Free)

Runners, improve your workout and track your progress with this handy app. It measures your heartbeat, notifies you when you’ve reached a goal and gives you coaching when you need it. (Free)

RUNKEEPER REMEMBER THE MILK

CAMCARD AIR DISPLAY

The name says it all. Sync this app with iGoogle, and get text or email reminders for lists that can be managed online or off. (Free)

Manage your business contacts with this card scanner. It adds information from the card to your address book, lets you categorize and add notes to your stash of business cards and saves all the information in the Cloud in case something goes wrong. (Free, limited version available)

Need an extra monitor? Make your tablet or phone a touch screen extension of your monitor with this app. (Free)

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Professional Whistling If your dreams of becoming a rock star never panned out, professional whistling could be your musical fallback. Dave Santucci from Garden Grove, Calif., has recently reached stardom with a complete album of whistling and thousands of YouTube followers. “I’ve made several thousand dollars so far with recordings for TV, radio and Internet commercials,” Santucci says. “I even recorded whistling for a song that plays on a slot machine.” The ability to whistle and strong lips that can stand up to long rehearsals may be God-given gifts, but learning how to appeal to people and build a fan base are the real traits that lead to cash flow.

CAREERS OUTSIDE THE CUBICLE

BY HEATHER HALL

Think back to the jobs you dreamed about as a child. They’re out there, and some come with a nice six-digit salary.

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Water-Slide TesterIf you love waterparks and travel, you could be getting paid anywhere between $17,000-56,000 per year to be a water-slide tester. Responsibilities (or some may call them perks) of the job include traveling around to various hotels, resorts or waterparks and going down each slide repeatedly. Testers look at how much water the slide uses, the speed of the slider and the slide’s fun factor overall. Testers also look for any safety concerns and report those to their boss and hotel manager. In order to get this job, repeatedly ranked as one of the World’s Coolest Jobs by “TODAY,” head over to your local waterpark, and ask if they are hiring a director of operations.

Reality Casting DirectorSarah Monson hit the bars every night in 1999, scoping out a few sexy singles. But Monson wasn’t looking for her own date. It was just another part of her job as a casting director for the show “Blind Date.” Monson, who has also worked on casting for “Survivor,” is a well-known reality casting director in the field. Her job, which averages a salary of $80,000, simply requires the ability to find people with outstanding personalities, a good background story or a memorable name. If you would want to watch the person in ridiculous situations every week, regardless of whether or not you fess up to watching reality TV, then they’re the right fit.

“Ethical” HackerIf breaking into other people’s computers gives you an adrenaline rush, you could choose to avoid jail time and earn up to $120,000 a year by becoming a certified ethical hacker (CEH). Research firm Gartner reported a 3.9 percent increase in IT spending for 2011. And they predict spending to reach $2.7 trillion this year. “At the same time, security is becoming a more pressing concern,” PCWorld reports. Because of the growth in technology and the pressing need for more security, hackers are being hired more and more every day. IT experience, good problem solving skills and some talent for manipulation are all necessary traits of CEH’s. To test out your skills, visit backtrack-linux.org.

Video Game TesterEvery teenage boy dreams of getting paid to play video games. And they can. The requirements for this job are very simple: You must have played a lot of video games from a wide variety of genres and be able to stay focused and communicate problems clearly. But even though this is in fact fun and games, testing is also a job. Employers value attention to detail and the ability to pick up on glitches and bugs. If you’re already daydreaming of spending your days killing zombies and virtually shredding mountains, try adding the title “quality assurance tester” to your resume. Websites like gametester.com frequently list jobs at companies like Playstation and Blizzard Entertainment. On top of that, salaries can average around $79,000 a year. Emphasize your interest in the latest games and that you are able to complete work on time, and you could be working in your boxer shorts by next week.

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Ready to become your own boss? Starting your own business can give you the opportunity to do something you love, not just something that brings in a paycheck. We asked St. Louis entrepreneurs Derek Weber, president of goBRANDgo!, a full service marketing agency for entrepreneurs, and Brian Dooley, CMO of Doolinger Brewing, for their secrets on how to be the one calling the shots.

Your Game PlanBY BIANCA OLVERA LOPEZ | PHOTO BY ASHTON WEIS

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If you want a little extra support, you may want to consider finding a partner for your business. Before you call up your best bro, remember that your friends may be great guys, but they may not make the best business partners. Dooley chose his partner, Dennis Caplinger, CEO of Doolinger Brewing, because they share a common mission. “We don’t agree on everything,” Dooley says. “But we both want to make a living while drinking, sharing and brewing beer with like-minded people. And that’s what makes it work.”

PARTNER

Think about what you really enjoy doing and what’s not being offered by your current job. How can you market this to other people? What competition do you have? Hash out what it is that you can do differently than others. “If you’re not improving yourself, your competition is,” Weber says. Note: This step is the most difficult. If you find it easy, you’re on the right path.

LEARN & DETERMINE

BRAINSTORM

You want to do something you enjoy, but it should also be something you have a bit of knowledge about. It will work in your wallet’s favor not to open a restaurant if you don’t know the first thing about working in one. Next, decide if you need a business class. Weber says it’s helpful, but not crucial. Then, determine which form of ownership will be best for your business: sole proprietorship, partnership, limited liability corporation (LLC), S corporation, non-profit or cooperative. Learn more about the different types of business structures from The Small Business Administration at SBA.gov.

VIDEO BY CAM GOOD

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When thinking over locations, consider where you can find the majority of your customers and what area offers the most convenience. Doolinger Brewing is established in St. Louis, because Dooley saw it as a large, untapped market. Before Doolinger, people interested in brewing would have to travel half an hour to get supplies at a general store. Lastly, don’t forget to look into local zoning laws.

Now’s a good time to take a breath, because this step requires extensive filing work. You must register your business name with your state government. Next, obtain your workers’ compensation, unemployment and disability insurance from your state, along with business licenses and permits. You will also need to get a tax identification number for filing with the IRS and your state revenue agency. Finally, check and double-check with the federal government and your state government to make sure you have all the required licenses and permits.

LOCATE

Write a business plan. Don’t be alarmed—a business plan simply states what your business offers, how it does so and other details. Need help? The Small Business Administration offers assistance. Visit SBA.gov for more information.

Of course, a business can’t be started on faith alone. When planning the initial financial state of your business, do some research into loans, venture capital and grants. Also think about if you know any people who would be willing to invest in your brilliant idea. This will require time and smart thinking; stay motivated. “Know what to say ‘no’ to, what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘not yet’ to,” Weber says.

PLAN

FINANCE

REGISTER

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Apple

Started: 1976

The Recession and Recovery of 1973-1976

2012 Revenue: $156.5 billion

“It’s like starting your life over,” Dooley says of finally starting his business. But don’t let this intimidate you. Don’t overextend yourself. Create reasonable goals, and stick to them as best you can. “It’s important to understand that it’s hard work, but it’s fulfilling,” Weber says. So, what are waiting for? You have the tools; now get going, and love what you do.

START

Rough Times Made BankWorried about the economy? These companies started during a recession, and their success only tells us that maybe a little doubt is a good thing.

Microsoft

Started: 1975

The Recession and Recovery of 1973-1976


Hewlett Packard

Started: 1939

Recession of 1937-1938


General Electric

Started: 1876 as Thomas Edison’s lab and became GE in 1892

The Long Depression of 1873-1878


Disney

Started: 1923

Recession of 1923-1924


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NEW CITYBY KENZIE KRAMER | PHOTOS MICHAEL SAGE

NO PROBLEM

Picture this: You need to relocate for the kick-ass new job you were just offered. You find a great apartment in the best neighborhood in the new city you’ll now call home, rent the moving truck to get all of your stuff there, get settled in and realize you have no one to watch the big game with. You don’t have anyone to go to the concert with next weekend either.

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According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average person will move 9.1 times in their adult life. That may be 9.1 times that you have to start from scratch; 9.1 times that you have to find new friends. And this isn’t elementary school where you’re put into a reading group to meet friends or freshman year of college when your R.A. knocks on your door to talk you into eating pancakes at midnight with your floor mates.

Sallie Felton, who has been a life coach for young adults for more than ten years, says those moving to a new city are often not ready for the change. “The notion is that it will be easy to meet people when you arrive,” Felton says. “Don’t forget, people have already formed their friendships with others.”

Felton has helped numerous young professionals find their footing when moving to a new city, including her own children. Her no. 1 tip: networking. Felton suggests getting in contact with family and friends before a move to see if they know anyone in the area that you could meet. “Never underestimate friends of friends,” Felton says. “Making that personal connection first can lead to meeting more people.”

If friends of friends don’t seem to be getting you anywhere, Felton suggests thinking about what interests you. “Are you a cyclist? Do you like to run? Do you like to read? Make a list of what brings you the most joy, and find avenues for that.”

If you’re a sports fanatic, get in touch with your local recreational leagues to see if they have a program that sets up individuals with an already-formed team or a team of other people who don’t have a team. Workout clubs are also a great way to meet people while staying active. A lot of major cities have cycling and running clubs that are made up of a mostly younger demographic.

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Connecting Through Hobbies Meg Sullivan is the training manager for Chicago Area Runner’s Association, one of the nation’s largest running organizations with more than 8,200 members. “We’ve had so many people call out of the blue and say, ‘I’m new to the city, and I’m a runner,’ and it’s crazy how many connections and friendships they make,” Sullivan says.

CARA’s programs consist of anything from training for your first 5k to the Chicago Marathon. When a member joins a program, they go to a training site each week with the same people and are put in a group of other runners at their same pace. “It turns out to be a good way to meet new friends because they end up going out for breakfast together and setting up after-race parties,” Sullivan says. “It turns into more of a social thing as you go through the season.”

Along with the usual running programs, CARA also has fun runs, like their Six Series, where members meet at a different bar each week. After a short run, everyone comes back to the bar for a beer and appetizer, which is included in the sign-up fee, as well as socializing with their running group. “CARA’s programs build a strong community for people to branch out and meet others,” Sullivan says.

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Connecting Through DevelopmentFor those of us who aren’t as into hitting the pavement, getting involved with local professional groups offers another opportunity to progress both occupationally and socially. Most large cities have a Young Professionals program that helps to recruit and retain an ambitious, young workforce in the city. Each YP group tends to take on its own personality.

Ray Sheaffer, president of the Young Professionals of Minneapolis, says their organization chooses to focus on volunteer opportunities and charity fundraisers. “We work with a lot of local charities in the area and do fundraisers for them,” Sheaffer says. “We’ll do the Polar Plunge; we’ll do wine tastings; at the end of this year, we’re raising money for a homeless shelter here in Minneapolis.”

YP also sets up get-togethers for members to meet each other and network. “We do happy hours, Twins games, fun stuff like that,” Sheaffer says. YP is set up on a pay-as-you-go system so that members have the optionto attend the events that interest them.

Along with philanthropy, YP programs also focus on career development. Sarah Johnson, manager for the Omaha Young Professionals, says the Omaha chapter in Nebraska hosts a yearly summit for professionals in the area to connect. “People attend for professional development or personal development,” Johnson says. “A lot of it has to do with the community and really connecting people in Omaha.”

Omaha YP also allows members to join committees that interest them. “It also helps them to get involved in the city and advocate for what’s important to them,” Johnson says. “If they’re really passionate about public transportation, they can advocate for that or any other cause.”

If you’re still struggling to meet people, man up and ask some people you work with to go to happy hour. Will it feel awkward? Hell yes. But it won’t be nearly as awkward as having absolutely no friends. Felton says getting out of your comfort zone is a vital part of the transition. “When this happens, you’ll feel uncomfortable,” Felton says. “But if you take one step forward, even a tiny step, you’ll gain the self-confidence needed to take larger steps further down the road.”

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MAN-NERISMS

Everyone has some quirk that drives others nuts—whether it’s boasting at the office about their frequent drunken escapades or dropping f-bomb after f-bomb at a game. Psychiatrist Dr. David Reiss says identifying bad habits is the first step in reversing them. “If it’s not making you any friends, you’re probably doing something wrong,” he says. Here are five common guys you don’t want to be and how to adjust your behavior if you are.

BY KATELYN PHILIPP | PHOTO BY NOELLE SMITH

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The Interrupter Chatting up your girl during designated guy time is not cool. Your bros may say it’s fine, but they don’t like having to avoid your mushy chatter while trying to watch the football game. Let her know it’s guy time. That way she’ll know why you’re not answering her texts. If she’s a keeper, she’ll understand.

The BragsterYes, you should be proud of your promotion at work and scoring that cute chick’s number—just don’t turn it into an everyday brag fest. It’s all right to let people know you’re successful and confident, but you don’t want to come across as arrogant. Kick this bad habit by acquiring some active listening skills. Make sure to ask others questions, and pay attention to how much you talk.

The Committed CusserAn occasional slip is OK, but don’t overdo it. “You may think it doesn’t do any harm, but it certainly doesn’t do any good,” says Jim O’Connor, author of “Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing.” So avoid dropping f-bombs in public places, including the office, on a date and absolutely any time you’re in front of your mother-in-law. O’Connor says curbing a cussing habit can be tricky. Pay attention to what you say and substitute cuss words for more polite alternative ones. This can be a word you make up to replace your most used swear word, or the emotion that’s getting you worked up, such as a frustrating referee instead of a f-ing referee.

The Messy RoommateEmpty beer bottles clutter the counter, used towels are piled up in the bathroom and dirty laundry lines the hallway. Sound familiar? A little messiness is acceptable, but a full-out slob fest is not. Have some pride in your space and some consideration for your roommates; they notice your sloppiness even if you don’t. Everything doesn’t have to be in tip-top shape all the time, but try to keep the shared spaces neat and organized. You never know when someone’s mom might drop by or one of the guys might bring a date home.

The Mocker Think twice before you tell that hilarious story about a friend or co-worker’s slip-up. Getting all those laughs might feel great, but it’s easy to take it too far. People don’t like someone who is constantly making others the butt of the joke. Focus on saying things that wouldn’t hurt others’ feelings. When in doubt, stick to the golden rule: if you wouldn’t want someone saying it about you, don’t say it about them.

DON’T BE THESE GUYS

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how to move in together

by mckenzie anderson | photos ashton weis and michaeL saGe

You’ve decided it’s time to take that next step: living together. Now you need to combine your possessions and your personalities into one (probably small) space. We’ve got tips on how to make it work.

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“if you’re really clever, you can see something out of a pile of junk and you can bring it home and make it special.”

- patrick Van nice

Make your intentions clearNothing is worse than moving in without knowing where the relationship stands. Whether you’re looking at this as a way to grow closer as a couple or just for pure convenience because you already spend so much time together, you should be on the same page about why you’ve made this decision.

“Couples have to be clear … ‘Is this something that we just try on to see if it fits, or is this the step toward something we’re both planning down the road?’” says Jim Wilwerding, a counselor at New Heights Counseling Resources in Des Moines, Iowa.

After you determine where you are as a couple, you’ll know whether you’re shacking up for the long haul or temporarily. That way, you can determine how much effort—and cash—you should put into the new space.

Make design decisions togetherDon’t let her make all the decisions if you’re just going to complain about them later. There are bound to be a few things you’ll actually care about, so you’ll want to be involved. Start with something small that you can both agree on, and don’t get caught up on the little elements. Like paint colors—which is where Patrick Van Nice thinks most people get it wrong.

“That’s what people run to first because it’s paint. Paint is a really quick fix. It’s an instant makeover. That’s the great thing about paint, but if you start there, it’s really hard to find the right fabric. It’s a little counterintuitive,” says Patrick Van Nice, owner of Patrick Van Nice Interiors in West Des Moines, Iowa.

He suggests choosing one focal piece and going from there. “I would start with a rug,” Van Nice says. If you can agree on something like a rug, the rest of the room won’t be so hard. Everything after—paint, pillows, lampshades—will have to match, so you won’t have as many options to get caught up in.

Know what’s going to cause a fight and how to solve itFace it: You two are going to fight about something. Maybe you’ll hate the layout of the living room or the way she folds your dress shirts. Whatever it is, it’s best to

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“if you’re really clever, you can see something out of a pile of junk and you can bring it home and make it special.”

- patrick Van nice

know how you’re going to hash it out.

“One of the things I talk a lot about with folks is, are you both clear about the rules of a fair fight?” Wilwerding says. “I even have couples write out what the rules of a fair fight are.” This lets couples learn some valuable information about each other.

“Odds are I’m going to fight the way I saw my parents fight and you’re going to fight the way you saw your parents fight. And those two might not be able to get to a resolution or even keep us respecting each other,” Wilwerding says.

As weird as it may sound, if you ever want to reach a resolution, you’re going to have to figure out how to have a fight. Otherwise, you’ll be circling around the same issue over and over and nothing will ever get accomplished.

Set a budgetIf you’re combining stuff but keeping paychecks separate, make sure you talk about who’s going to pay for what. Chances are you’ll want to keep whatever you bring or buy if the relationship doesn’t work out.

Or maybe you’ve gotten a joint account, which means you have to know your limits on spending. Set aside the money you’re willing to spend on your new place. If it’s not much, then you’ll have to get creative on how to use it. “If you’re really clever, you can see something out of a pile of junk, and you can bring it home and make it special,” Van Nice says. You can buy things secondhand, build your own stuff—either way, you’ll have to figure out how to save money.

Setting a budget can be tricky, but between thrift stores and hardware stores, you should be able to make it work. The bonus: You’ll be adding something completely unique to your home.

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make up orBREAK UP?By Megan Stein

Fight, break up, get back together, repeat. Sound familiar? Getting back together with an ex often yields volatile and awkward results. So, why does it happen?

“Attachment and familiarity can be very strong,” says Teresa Barrett, a licensed mental health counselor at Central Iowa Psychological Services. “If you have broken up with an ex, you know their communication styles and quirks. When you’re in a vulnerable stage post-breakup, that attachment might be very attractive.”

For 21-year-old Ben (last name omitted for privacy), this process is all too familiar. He decided his relationship deserved another go—and, after a tumultuous year, realized this was a bad move. “The reasons I broke up with her in the first place ended up being the same reasons I broke up with her the second time,” Ben says. “But going from talking to her every day and knowing about her life to having no contact at all was a shock. It was easy to fall back into things.”

But every situation is different. Here’s the lowdown on when to try again and when to just let it go.

Make UpSo you really want it to work. You want the same things, and you’re willing to make compromises. Well, it’s not going to be easy. Laurie Linhart, a professor of intimate relations at Drake

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University, says you need to get real with each other about why it didn’t work the first time.

“In general, the steps are very similar to those in a first-time relationship, but even more important,” Linhart says. “Be honest with each other about the previous breakup and how you are feeling now. Communicate clearly, respect one another, forgive one another. Don’t use the prior breakup as ammunition in an argument.”

You may find the source of your problems started even before your relationship did. Personal baggage like jealousy issues, trust problems and family divorces, can put stress on how we approach our own relationships. These issues can affect your commitment and trust when re-entering a relationship. But if you deal with them up front, that may help you reconnect. “Being able to realize that it is not a weakness and being able to talk about traumas in life will set you up for a relationship in the long run,” Barrett says.

Most importantly, you have to be willing to make changes to your relationship, not simply fall into old patterns. “Things were probably the same or worse the second time around,” Ben says. “We would push each other’s limits to see what we could do.”

But while it’s important to make changes, it’s equally important to keep a strong personal identity. Barrett says that many people, both men and women, tend to base their identities on their

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partner. The time you take apart can allow you to remember your own identity and what you bring to the table. “We need to find happiness with ourselves before we try to make someone else love us,” Barrett says.

Michael French writes about this same phenomenon in his book, “Why Men Fall Out of Love.” He writes, “More than one man told me he was too busy pleasing his partner and worrying about her happiness to focus on expressing and meeting his own needs.” If you feel that both of you have a better sense of yourself, your relationship may be stronger this time around.

Although it takes a lot of work from both parties, Barrett holds out hope for couples that actually want to be together. If they’re both committed—in terms of honesty about goals, values and personal growth—second-time-around couples may have a shot. “I encourage taking a good three to six months to be able to make some decisions, especially when people have just broken up and are vulnerable,” Barrett says.

Break UpAt the end of the day, it’s nice to have someone who’s going to be there for you. But some relationships just aren’t worth the mess. If your relationship exhibits certain dynamics, breaking up may be the better solution for everyone involved.

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One of the first things to examine is whether your expectations align with your partner’s. In Ben’s case, his girlfriend expected more time together than Ben was willing to give.

He hit the breaking point when he realized that even the smallest sacrifices were too much. “One day, we went to the zoo, and I didn’t want to go. I just went to appease her, and I noticeably didn’t want to be there,” Ben says. “If I wanted to have a relationship with her, I would have wanted to be in her company.”

Another sign that the relationship is doomed is the “power play.” After a breakup, it’s hard to forget who was the dumper and who was the dumpee. Remembering who ended the relationship in the first place can leave lingering feelings of resentment. “There is something called the Principle of Least Interest, which means the person who is least interested or invested in the relationship has the most power,” Linhart says. “This sets up a power differential in the relationship. Getting back together doesn’t change that power dynamic and may be the setup for another breakup.”

And if you were the dumpee, resentment can destroy your relationship just as quickly as having the power can. Bill Ferguson writes in “How to Heal a Painful Relationship,” “You quickly create the cycle of resisting, attacking and withdrawing from each other. It’s impossible to establish or maintain a good

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relationship with someone you resent.”

Finally, if control issues are a factor in your relationship, getting back together is going to be a pointless struggle. Control issues can range from your girlfriend telling you what to wear to you bombarding her with questions every five minutes. “Constantly text messaging the other person and wondering where they are and what they are doing is another no-no!” Linhart says. “This can devolve into abusive behavior.”

Even after weighing the pros and cons, Ben is pretty adamant that, if he could go back in time, he wouldn’t give his relationship a second chance. “Especially if you broke up with her, you had your reasons to begin with, and it will only make you feel worse for putting her through everything again,” he says. “It just leads to a lot more trouble and stress having to tell someone you don’t want that relationship anymore and the guilt of leading someone on.”

So, before you dive into a relationship for a second time, examine all of the issues you once had. If both of you have been able to grow and work through them, then you may be in good standing to give it another shot. But you may find that in working through your issues, this familiar relationship isn’t the solution, and it’s time for a new adventure.

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by EDUARDO TAMEZ ZAMARRIPA | PhOTO AshTOn wEIs

heroes gone?

Doping, cheating, lying, stealing—it seems a steady stream of well-respected sports stars, politicians and celebrities have been tumbling off their very public pedestals. Who are we supposed to believe in?

Lance Armstrong was a hero to many—the man who survived testicular cancer, who, after being given a 50 percent chance of survival in 1996, went on to win seven consecutive Tour de France titles, who raised millions of dollars for cancer research. Then in 2012, after 13 years of speculation and Armstrong’s vehement public denials, the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency released a 202-page report that exposed him as the head honcho of the biggest doping scheme any sport has ever seen. Armstrong was stripped of his Tour de France titles and of his hero status.

This isn’t the first time a beloved figure has fallen from grace. Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife; so did CIA director David Petraeus; so did pro golfer Tiger Woods. Magazine mogul Martha Stewart went to prison for fraud, as did NFL star Michael Vick for dog fighting. Sprinter Marion Jones doped. Writer Fareed Zakaria plagiarized. The list goes on.

where have all the

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We learn to love and admire these people—celebrities, athletes, politicians—for their accomplishments and triumphs until they reach the status of “hero,” then many end up disappointing us. So why does this cycle continue? Turns out we’re part of the problem.

The Information AgeConsider the different avenues of information that have emerged in the last ten years and how they’ve shaped news coverage. 3.8 million people care what Lance Armstrong has to say on Twitter, 2.6 million more like to see what Tiger Woods is posting on Facebook. The constant stream we can get from platforms like Twitter, YouTube and Facebook feed our insatiable appetite for the latest news on our favorite celebs.

Robert Thompson, the founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University, says it’s natural for individuals to yearn for pop culture heroes to look up to.

“We are always looking for people who are role models and who are doing what we want to do. We also get to know these people that are portrayed in the media,” Thompson says. “It’s harder to maintain the fiction of these characters. We’ve got a ton of information. When you reach the status of celebrity, there’s a lot of data on you.”

Lawrence Rubin, director of St. Thomas University Biscayne College’s Mental Health Counseling Program, agrees that heroes face more criticism now than ever before. “Heroes can lose their heroism overnight,” Rubin says. “I think social media and digital technology put them a little bit more at risk. They’re under more scrutiny now than they have ever been.”

ExpectationsWe tend to place our heroes on a moral pedestal. And with all these ways to keep tabs on them, it’s not surprising that more get caught in compromising situations. But that doesn’t mean that there are fewer

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heroes today than in previous generations.

“It’s a sense of nostalgia that the world was one way, and now it’s not,” Thompson says. “The whole concept of a hero, which is this notion that they are above us in every possible way in human existence, is an unhealthy way to look at things.”

Heroes of today can’t live up to these expectations, but neither did heroes of the past. Take, for instance, former New York Yankee Babe Ruth. He was admired and respected for his home-run prowess, but the details of his personal life were often unreported or ignored. In 1926, Ruth’s wife left him after he had a daughter with his mistress.

“It’s really naïve,” Thompson says. “Some of the greatest novelists were not very good people. Sometimes really bad people do really good things.”

We struggle with the separation between profession and person. When we admire an athlete’s accolades or a celebrity’s success, we know these successes have no substantial moral value. In order to legitimize their track record, we want them to adhere to a strict moral code to satisfy our expectations about what an accomplished figure should look like.

The Real HeroesThe rumors about Armstrong started flying after his first win when other cyclists were caught doping. Even where there are signs that a hero is falling, we are quick to make excuses and deny evidence. Yet, we continue to look up to public figures rather than people closer to home. Rubin suggests that we look for heroes to compensate for social problems.

“When our politicians fail us, when our religious leaders fail us, I think we see an upsurge in sports heroes, in media heroes,” Rubin says. “I think when we struggle as a society with particular issues of crime

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and poverty and racism and homophobia, heroes are created to fill the void and give us a sense of hope and power over those feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness.”The problem may be that we’re looking up to heroes for more than their professional accomplishments. Rob Weiner, associate humanities and pop culture librarian and expert at Texas Tech University, says it’s important to understand the fragility of these heroes. “Why look up to Tiger Woods?” Weiner says. “He’s human. He cheated on his wife. You can look up to him for his accomplishments in golf but maybe not look up to him for his personal life.”

Weiner suggests looking closer to home for heroes. Last summer, lifeguard Tomas Lopez saved a man from drowning, but was fired for leaving his section of the South Florida beach. “What the ‘f’ is wrong with our society? Those are the true heroes and we should reward that, not penalize that,” Weiner says.

“Maybe we need to build ourselves up and realize that we all have the potential to be a hero, and we all have the potential to be a villain,” Weiner says. “Let’s concentrate on being the hero and being the best we can be.”

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crafting a cold oneby erika owen | photos ashton weis

So you’ve heard of home brewing, and you think you may be ready to try your hand at it. Well gentlemen, it’s time to take control of your beer. Be prepared when it comes to supplies (have them all ready to go from the beginning—none of this “I’ll buy it when I need it” business), and know that you’re a beginner. But that’s the beauty of creating your perfect beer—it takes practice. Go ahead and skip the botched batches with these tips from expert home brewers.

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Steve Mehne A Milwaukee native and a fan of stouts, brown ales, and craft beers, Mehne was attracted to home brewing’s inexpensive alternative to store-bought beers. “I really like craft beer, but didn’t like how much it costs to buy,” he says. “So when I heard of home brewing and how inexpensive it was—and the quality beer that I could make doing it—I thought I’d give it a try.”

Barb HorschLadies can have major brewing game, too. Horsch hails from New Ulm, Minn., and focuses on both wine making and beer brewing. “There’s the pride and enjoyment of doing the brewing yourself,” she says. “Put your own labels on the bottle, and impress your friends and family. You’ll be the hit at parties.”

Scott PhillipsA state fair award-winning brewer, Phillips loves experimenting with different processes and tastes. “I really like the Milk & Oats Stout—a group from the Iowa Brewers Union (home brew club) collaborated on it,” he says. “It was aged in a Templeton Rye barrel, and it turned out pretty great.” His biggest obstacle with brewing is figuring out what to do with all of the beer. “I have five on tap right now and more coming down the pipeline,” he says. “The solution is straightforward: I’ve never known anyone to turn down free beer.”

Mark NaumanNauman spends most of his time running Beer Crazy, a homebrew supply store in Urbandale, Iowa, and helping others create their perfect brew. “My favorite parts of brewing are learning and personally developing the processes of brewing,” he says. “I have the goal of producing the best beer with the least amount of effort.” His favorite brew is Bourbon Imperial Stout. “It’s big, thick and full-flavored,” he says. “It’s a meal.”

tHe BReWeRS

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Don’t touch itYou may be tempted to excessively stir or sample your home brew—don’t do it. Phillips’ words of wisdom: “The more you screw with it, the more likely it is that you’ll mess it up. Let the yeast do its thing.”

Follow directions“Making beer is like cooking and baking,” Horsch says. “If you follow the recipe, it will turn out.”

temperature control“Different styles of beer use different strains of yeast,” Phillips says. “Those strains of yeast have ideal temperatures they like to live at. Before you brew, find a place that will keep the fermenting beer as close to that temperature as possible without fluctuating too much.”

It’s a smelly job…“If you brew in your house, your house will smell like a stale bar,” Horsch says. “Go outside or in a garage, and get ahold of an outdoor camping stove.”

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tIPSUse these tips from our brewers to help make sure your first batch is a success. It’s better to be safe than lose an entire batch!

Keep it cleanThis may seem like a no-brainer, but you need to be meticulous—the quality of your beer depends on it. “Your equipment needs to be squeaky clean and rinsed with a sanitizer like Star San,” Phillips says. “The perfect environment for brewer’s yeast to thrive is also the perfect environment for contaminants that can produce ‘off’ flavor.”

Create some competition“There are a lot of competitions with a lot of really great talent,” Mehne says. “There are also homebrew nights. Everyone comes and shares their homebrew with each other.” There’s no better way to get feedback on your brew than from fellow beer enthusiasts.

When in doubt…“Don’t throw it out!” Phillips says. “If you’re disappointed with how your beer turned out, put it under the stairs, and forget about it for a few months. There’s a decent chance that it will taste better with some age on it.”

Recycle your bottles“Don’t buy empty bottles from retailers,” Horsch says. “I’ve saved many a bottle from ending up in a landfill. You can say you’re ‘going green’ and save your own green.”

take classes “Many local brew supply stores will have classes on brewing that you can attend,” Mehne says. Bring your skills, and exchange tips and methods with fellow brewers.

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SuPPlIeSBrew potStainless steel is your best bet. Make sure that your pot can hold at least five liquid gallons. While it’s better to buy this new, if you find a used pot without scratches, you’re good to go. Microbes hide out in scratches and screw up the entire brewing process.

Stirring spoonFind a large plastic or metal spoon, and dedicate it to home brewing.

Food-grade containers with sealable lidsSnag two of these—they can be plastic or glass. Seven-gallon containers should cover all of your liquid. You’ll use one for fermenting your brew and the other for bottling.

Rubber stopper and airlockMake sure you can take apart your airlock to clean it. It’s best to have a few of these on hand. You can find them at stores for about $2 a piece.

thermometerAgain, find one and dedicate it to home brewing only. It’s OK to use the ones they sell at home and cooking stores.

StrainerMake sure you get one that will fit into the opening of your fermenting container. You will need it to add the wort into the mix. The strainer will also prevent anything from getting into your home brew and floating around.

Food-grade vinyl tubingBuy a couple of feet of tubing. This is what you’ll use to transport your brew between containers.

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BottlesThis is where your finished beer will be stored. Grab whatever style of bottles you’d like—just make sure they don’t have

threading. That will make it hard to seal the bottles with caps.

CapsGet whatever kinds of caps you want. Just make sure you have enough and that they’ll fit your bottles.

CapperYou’ll use this to cap your filled bottles. They run for around $30.

Bottle washerAgain, clean is key. The cleaner you keep everything, the better your brew will turn out.

These are the basic machineries that make up the home brewing process. Eventually, you’ll want to get a hygrometer (measures the OG of the beer which will tell you what the body of the drink will turn out like) and an immersion wort chiller (a tube that allows you to run cold water into the wort). Start with these, and have fun experimenting.

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COOKEASEYou don’t have to be a gourmet chef to whip up something other than Ramen noodles. We’ve rounded up fast and easy recipes you can make for two or for a group, using ingredients you probably already have at home.

BY KRISTIN DOHERTY | PHOTOS ASHTON WEIS

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INGREDIENTS• 1 package lasagna noodles• ½ pound ground beef• Cooking spray• 4-ounce can of diced mushrooms• 15-ounce package ricotta cheese• 12-ounce jar of marinara sauce• 1 to 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese• ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION1. Preheat oven to 375° F.2. Cook lasagna noodles following package directions. Drain and let cool slightly. When cool enough to handle, cut each noodle into four squares. Set aside.3. Cook ground beef over medium heat until brown. Drain grease.4. Drain and chop the mushrooms.5. Lightly coat muffin tin (we used a 12-cup pan) with cooking spray.6. Layer two pieces of noodle on the bottom of each tin. Push down on the noodles with a spoon so they stick together.7. Add about a tablespoon of ricotta cheese on top of the noodles. Spread evenly.8. Add about a tablespoon each of sauce and mozzarella cheese on top of the ricotta.9. Add about a tablespoon each of the cooked ground beef and mushrooms on top of the sauce and mozzarella.10. Top with another noodle.11. Top with a dollop of sauce and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese.12. Bake in oven for about 10 minutes or until lightly brown.

Lasagna CupcakesPrep 45 minutes | Serves 4 to 6

Baked in muffin pans, this lasagna provides an easy-serve alternative to the traditional pan and at a fraction of the cook time, even though prep time can get a bit lengthy. Plus, the individual pieces make it easy to accommodate your vegetarian friends. Plan for two or three cupcakes per person.

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Veggie and Chicken Stir FryPrep 15 Minutes | Serves 2

INGREDIENTS• 1 cup cooked brown or white rice (instant rice works just fine) • 3 1∕2 tablespoons cooking oil, divided• 2-3 boneless chicken breasts, cubed• Assorted chopped fresh vegetables (pea pods, bell peppers, carrots, broccoli, mushrooms; aim for a colorful assortment)• ¾ cup soy sauce• 2∕3 cup unsalted peanuts

PREPARATION1. Cook rice according to package directions. Keep warm.2. Heat 2 ½ tablespoons cooking oil in a frying pan. Cook chicken thoroughly.Remove from oil.3. Add 1 tablespoon additional oil to pan. Cook vegetables for 3 to 5 minutes or until tender.4. Add cooked chicken to vegetables. Then add soy sauce and peanuts. Stir until thoroughly mixed and heated through.5. Serve over rice.

Let’s be honest: She’s not going to be impressed by another plate of pasta. Show off your cooking skills, even if you don’t have many, with a colorful stir-fry.

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Men all over the world are always trying to impress the ladies and one-up their bros. We have ten challenges that will do both. No matter what your skill level is, there’s a race, dash or plunge you can try. Note to the reader: If you’re a pansy, keep scrolling.

ARE YOU

BY KELLY HENDRICKS

ENOUGH?MAN

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COVER PHOTO AND ABOVE COURTESY OF SPARTAN RACE

Spartan RaceThe Spartan Race is broken into four levels: Spartan Sprint, Super Spartan, Spartan Beast and the Death Race, all varying in length and mental and physical obstacles. They are known for their use of water, mud, fire, barbed wire and “Hell on Earth” in obstacles, but they don’t give specific details in order to keep you on your toes. Start out with the Spartan Sprint, and work your way up to completing the 48-hour Death Race. Ninety percent of people don’t finish, but that’s just another challenge. Spartan races occur all over the world during all times of the year. For dates and locations, go here.

GORUCK ChallengeThis challenge, led by Special Operations, is easily the most intense on our list. If an 8-10 hour obstacle course completed in a team of 30 doesn’t sound harrowing enough, imagine your leader trying to put you in a military mindset. The tasks for this daring feat include just about everything: shooting guns, doing pushups, lifting logs, crawling, carrying teammates—all over the 15-20 mile course. And many of these tasks aren’t revealed to participants beforehand, adding a mental component to preparation. “It’s a pride thing,” says Shannon Hendrix, a 34-year-old former personal trainer from Kansas City, Mo., who has completed the challenge. “As hard as it was, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed pushing myself to that edge and knowing I was able to finish.” The GORUCK Challenge has many different locations, including L.A., Chicago and Boston.

Bear Grylls Survival AcademyBear Grylls, of “Born Survivor” and “Man vs. Wild,” founded this three to six day course to teach participants survival basics. From navigation training to wild food foraging and remote First-Aid training to techniques for crossing ravines—you’ll learn everything you need to survive the 36-hour final exercise. The first Survival Academy course was completed in November 2012 in Scotland, but it will soon be available internationally. The program is expanding to Africa and the U.S. in 2013. Only ten participants can partake in each academy, so if you’re interested, be sure to keep your eyes open for news about upcoming courses. Check out videos here.

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Tough Mudder ContestBritish Special Forces created this contest, so you know it’s rough. Will Dean, a former agent in the British government, invented the contest because he was tired of the repetitiveness of marathons and triathlons. The Tough Mudder is 10-12 miles long and includes 25 “obstacles of pain” completed in thick mud. Obstacles include running through 4-foot blazes of flame and sprinting through electric wires while avoiding being shocked—definitely not your average triathlon. About half a million people participate each year. Find out if you’re tough enough to be one of them by taking the quiz on their website, and find a contest near you here.

Beer MileTraining for this event may bring back memories of the glory days: college bars, frat houses and wicked hangovers. This challenge consists of running four laps around a track and chugging a beer after each lap. The most important rule: Don’t throw up. If you can’t hold your liquor, you’re required to run a penalty lap. Kevin Cunningham, a 39-year-old avid beer drinker from Des Moines, yearns to be one of the more than 15,000 Beer Mile participants. “Only in America can we combine two great pastimes—sports and beer—into one great event,” Cunningham says. “Now if only we could make it into an Olympic sport.” Interested in trying it out? Beermile.com has all the official rules and contact information, so you can get the event started near you.

ChessBoxingIt may sound like an odd combo, but this sport does the body and the mind good. It was created by cartoonist Enki Bilal and developed by Dutch performance artist Iepe Rubingh. The game switches back and forth with 11 rounds of alternating chess play and boxing. Dubbed “the thinking person’s contact sport,” ChessBoxing is popping up all over the U.S., adapting rules along the way. One ChessBoxing club in L.A. lives by these three: The event should happen in unusual places, the fights have to take place in front of friends, and the fighting needs to be done for charity. Going along with the club’s motto, “Take the king or win in the ring,” ChessBoxing is the perfect way to sharpen your wits and your muscles. For a ChessBoxing club in your area, tap here.

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COURTESY OF DONUT DASH

COURTESY OF MSP POLAR BEAR PLUNGE




Tough Mudder ContestBritish Special Forces created this contest, so you know it’s rough. Will Dean, a former agent in the British government, invented the contest because he was tired of the repetitiveness of marathons and triathlons. The Tough Mudder is 10-12 miles long and includes 25 “obstacles of pain” completed in thick mud. Obstacles include running through 4-foot blazes of flame and sprinting through electric wires while avoiding being shocked—definitely not your average triathlon. About half a million people participate each year. Find out if you’re tough enough to be one of them by taking the quiz on their website, and find a contest near you here.

Beer MileTraining for this event may bring back memories of the glory days: college bars, frat houses and wicked hangovers. This challenge consists of running four laps around a track and chugging a beer after each lap. The most important rule: Don’t throw up. If you can’t hold your liquor, you’re required to run a penalty lap. Kevin Cunningham, a 39-year-old avid beer drinker from Des Moines, yearns to be one of the more than 15,000 Beer Mile participants. “Only in America can we combine two great pastimes—sports and beer—into one great event,” Cunningham says. “Now if only we could make it into an Olympic sport.” Interested in trying it out? Beermile.com has all the official rules and contact information, so you can get the event started near you.

ChessBoxingIt may sound like an odd combo, but this sport does the body and the mind good. It was created by cartoonist Enki Bilal and developed by Dutch performance artist Iepe Rubingh. The game switches back and forth with 11 rounds of alternating chess play and boxing. Dubbed “the thinking person’s contact sport,” ChessBoxing is popping up all over the U.S., adapting rules along the way. One ChessBoxing club in L.A. lives by these three: The event should happen in unusual places, the fights have to take place in front of friends, and the fighting needs to be done for charity. Going along with the club’s motto, “Take the king or win in the ring,” ChessBoxing is the perfect way to sharpen your wits and your muscles. For a ChessBoxing club in your area, tap here.

Cheese RollingApparently, not everyone can have their cheese and eat it, too. The annual Cheese Rolling on Cooper’s Hill in Gloucester, England is very entertaining, whether you’re participating or just watching. Participants run (or roll, fall and flail) down a hill, chasing a 7-9 pound wheel of Gloucester cheese. If the runner gets the cheese before they reach the bottom of the hill, they get to take it home. The origin of this event is unknown, but it’s certainly a good time. As long as the weather complies, Cheese Rolling always takes place on the last Monday in May. Don’t have the frequent flyer miles to make it to Gloucester? Check out a video here of this year’s event.

Polar Bear PlungeDetermination, bravery and warm clothing are prerequisites to take this plunge, which happens every winter across the U.S. Participants form teams to raise money for charities and brave the icy waters. London James, 22, helps put on the plunge in Des Moines, Iowa. “It’s something new and crazy to experience—jumping into freezing cold water all dressed up with a bunch of friends—but it’s for a good cause,” James says. “All the money we raise is donated to a nonprofit organization in Des Moines supporting autism.” Costumes are encouraged but not mandatory. However, chickening out by donning a wetsuit is prohibited. Each location has its own website, so make sure to search for one in your area.

Donut DashWhat man doesn’t love a good donut? Especially when they can eat one for a good cause. Rules for this race vary by location, but generally, participants run 3-5 miles with donut stops along the way. At each donut stop, the runner gets two minutes shaved off their time per donut they can wolf down. Zack Wandell puts together a dash in Sacramento each year. “We started back in 2009, and it was just a small event among friends,” Wandell says. “We’ve expanded a lot, and the event raises money for the children’s hospital in the area. It’s a ton of fun, and we get a lot of children from the hospital to come out.”

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WINNING WORKOUTS

BY KATIE MINNICK

Runners run. Golfers golf. But if you really want to improve your performance, going through the motions just isn’t enough. Instead, add cross-training to your workout with these tips from Ben Vogel, a trainer and fitness manager of an Aspen Athletic Club in Des Moines, Iowa.

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Get FasterYou don’t have to be a star track athlete to see the benefits of improving your sprint time. From running down the court to catching that long pass, speed is beneficial in almost every sport. According to Vogel, improving your time is all about training your brain to react faster. “Learning how to do a proper jump and land properly can teach your body to accelerate and decelerate faster as well.” Vogel says. “You’re working your nervous system.”

Equipment requiredYou’ll need a box that’s at least 2 to 4 feet off the ground. From a standing position on flat ground next to the box, use your legs and your core muscles to help you jump onto the box. Do four sets of four reps of box jumps two to three times a week.

No equipment requiredFrom a standing position, jump forward as far as you can, landing on your feet. Complete four sets of four reps of standing broad jumps two to three times a week.

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Train for a TriathlonLike any race, a triathlon is all about endurance—whether you’re doing a sprint (15.4 miles) or Ironman (140.6 miles). With three sports in one race, cross-training is key. Focus on full-body exercises that work everything from your shoulders to your legs.

SwimThere’s only one stroke you need to master here, and that’s the front crawl. “Make sure you can swim the full distance two weeks prior to the triathlon,” Vogel says.

BikeCardio training will get you in shape for this portion of the race. “But you need to get familiar with the bike and get comfortable with it,” Vogel says. He recommends switching up your cycling routine. “Challenge yourself. Go up hills, go down hills, do a long distance or do a shorter one with more hills.”

RunBuild endurance by going on long distance runs a couple of times a week. Alternate running with lifting weights, swimming and biking other days. On the remaining two days, take short runs to give your body time to recover.

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Improve Your Golf SwingGetting more power into your golf swing is all about flexibility, something guys don’t always spend enough time on at the gym. “As you age, you tend to get less flexible,” Vogel says.

Partner requiredThrow a medicine ball in front of you to a partner standing 6 to 8 feet away. “Work on a quick reaction,” Vogel says. “You have 10 to 12 pounds coming at you. See how fast your body can react to that.”

No partner requiredThrow the medicine ball against a brick wall. Practice circling it around your body or throwing it up in the air and catching it. “Each time you throw, it involves your entire body,” Vogel says. “You are using your whole body in one fluid motion.”

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