Life Begins at 60 Talking Change October 8 2014 Introduction Alison Thompson 023 9289 2920.

Life Begins at 60

Talking Change

October 8 2014

Introduction Alison Thompson

023 9289 2920

Life Begins at 60

Achieving a balanced life

October 8 2014

Caroline Price

023 9289 2920

What is worry and stress?

● Stress is the word that many people use when they are describing how the demands of their life seem to be becoming too great for them to cope with. This varies from person to person.

● It can affect how we feel, how we think and behave.

What is worry and stress?

● Similarly, how much we worry varies from person to person. Worry is everywhere and all of us worry.

● Do you worry you will say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing? Perhaps make a mistake, upset a friend or family member or overlook a serious health problem?

● Or perhaps you just worry too much – constantly running through ‘what if’ scenarios in your head. Many people describe themselves as “constant worriers” and say, “I’ve been a worrier all my life”.

● These worries can get us caught into a cycle

The worry cycleWorrying thought

“What if…”

Physical symptoms

Muscle tension

More alert

Emotions

Increased anxiety

Anger

Guilt

How to break the worry cycle

The worry tree

From www.getselfhelp.co.uk

Adapted from Butler & Hope 2007

Can I do something about it...Yes?Action plan

Problem Solving

Step Complete?

STEP 1: Define the problem

STEP 2: Think of possible solutions

STEP 3: Decide on an option

STEP 4: Plan it

STEP 5: Do it – put your plan into action.

STEP 6: Review what happened- did it work?

Can I do something about it..No?Letting the worry go

● Sometimes our worries can be difficult to let go.

● Think of a train. When we are on a platform waiting for our train, we may see several trains arrive and stop at the platform. Not all of these trains can take us to our destination and we do not get on them.

● We know that they are there but we do not pay attention to them, we wait until they leave the platform. We can treat our thoughts and worries in the same way - notice them arriving into our consciousness, allow them to stay for a while, however long that may be, but not engage with them.

Can I do something about it..No?Letting the worry go

● Just as we do not get on the train that does not take us to your destination we do not need to engage with an unhelpful thought or worry. Just let them enter and leave your consciousness.

● This may not be something that you are able to do immediately. It often takes some practice to be able to tolerate worries so don’t worry if you’re finding it difficult at first. It will get easier!

Letting the worry go continued…

●Worry Time●Postpone your worry with worry time.●Pick a time and place, free from distraction.


●Writing worries down●Note your worries down briefly on paper●Review them during your worry time●Are the worries still relevant?


●Distract yourself by doing something else


● Attention control training.

● This exercise involves focusing on the here and now rather than getting caught up in the past or future. This is an example of a simple technique called ‘Attention Training’ you can use yourselves when you notice you may be getting caught up in your worries.

Life Begins at 60

How to say no

October 8 2014Petra Friesner

02392 892920

What is communication?

●Communication is the ability to deliver a message

● It is our interaction with other living beings ● It influences all our relationships, which are

important for our emotional health●These messages involve different types of signal

Effective communication

● Is two-way●Acknowledges that our understanding may not

be accurate (which works both ways)● Involves the skills of:●Listening - to what the other person is saying●Expressing - how you feel and what you think●Accepting - that the other person may have a

different opinion and tolerates this (empathy)

Assertiveness means…

●Being treated equally●Being able to be yourself●Expressing your, needs, feelings and opinions●Being able to change your mind●Being able to say ‘I don’t understand’ and ask for

clarity●Making reasonable requests of others●Setting your own priorities●Being listened to ●Being able to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ for yourself

Short-term vs. long-term

●Say ‘yes’ = avoid short-term consequences (discomfort), but may be longer-term consequences

●Say ‘no’ = discomfort in the short-term, but leads to a better long-term outcome

●Saying ‘no’ may result in uncomfortable emotions in the short-term

● It may be necessary for us to learn how to tolerate this short-term discomfort

Long-term benefits of being assertive

●We can express our thoughts and emotions in a way that does not undermine the thoughts and emotions of others

●Can increase mutual respect●Can increase self-confidence and self-belief●Helps us get our needs met without hurting

others●Helps us learn to compromise●Prevents us from feeling as if we are being taken

advantage of through setting ‘boundaries’

Setting boundaries

●Boundaries are the conditions or limits we are prepared to accept for ourselves

●We are constantly defining these through the signals we send

●We are not only defining our boundaries for other people, but also for ourselves

●Adjusting our boundaries can take time, patience, and persistence

Boundaries and learning

●Consider the following situation…●You’re in the supermarket and at the checkout is

a parent with a young child. The child sees the sweets there and asks the parent, who says ‘no’. The child bursts into tears and continues making a fuss, until the parent grabs a packet of sweets and gives them to the child, who stops crying…

●What’s the child learned?●What’s the parent learned?

Saying ‘no’

●Saying ‘no’ understands that as much as a person has a right to make a request, we equally have the right to refuse

●When we say no, we are refusing the request, not rejecting the whole person

●There is more than one way to say ‘no’●Choosing the right ‘no’ could help to reduce

short-term feelings of discomfort

Ways of saying ‘no’

Reasoned ‘no’ ●Provides a brief reason, helps clarify for yourself

and the person making the request

●“I’m quite busy at the moment.” ●“I’ve arranged to do … instead.”


Reflecting ‘no’●Reflects the content and emotion of the request,

adding the refusal at the end ●“I understand that you were hoping to …, but I

can’t.”●“I know you were looking forward to going out,

but I can’t make it.”


Rain-check ‘no’●Refuses the current request, but that it could be

a possibility in the future. ●Leaves room for some negotiation.

“I’m not able to help this time, but I could help in future if you can give me a bit more notice.”


Enquiring ‘no’ ●Not a direct no, but a request for more

information or an alternative

●“That could be difficult for me at the moment. Do you need that to be done now, or can it be done later?”

●“Which do you feel is the priority?”


Direct ‘no’ ●This can be quite forceful, helpful for pushy

people, especially as no apology or explanation is provided.

●“No, thank you.”


Repeated ‘no’ ●Sometimes it may be necessary to refuse over

and over again if the person is very persistent.●Also known as the ‘broken record’ due to

needing to reinforce the same message.●“I can’t help you out at the moment. As I said, I

really can’t help at this time. I appreciate what you’re saying, but I simply can’t help you.”

And finally…

● It is ok to say ‘yes’ when we are aware of our reasons for saying ‘yes’ and as long as the long-term consequences are going to be helpful for ourselves and others!

Life Begins at 60

Mindfulness

October 8 2014

Miles Wrightman

023 9289 2920

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose in the present

moment and non-judgementally.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

“Full Catastrophe Living” 1996

Aims of mindfulness

● Increase awareness so that we can learn to live more fully, responding to situations with choice rather than reacting automatically

●Getting off automatic pilot (patterns and habits)

Aims of mindfulness

●We do this by learning to pay attention to all our experiences, including our bodily sensations, thoughts moods and emotions, and to the small changes within them

Aims of mindfulness

●Being open to all our experience has the possibility of leading us to greater health and wellbeing

●Mindfulness is not about trying to get somewhere else, but simply being aware of where you are-and allowing yourself to BE where and AS you are

Life Begins at 60

Improving sleep

October 8 2014

023 9289 2920

Along with eating, drinking and breathing, sleeping

is essential to our physical and mental health

We spend, on average, a third of our life asleep

Sleep is often seen as a time when the body is

inactive – the opposite is true

“sleep in an active, essential and involuntary process without which we cannot function effectively.”

What is sleep?

● Sleep is made up of five distinct stages that occur in cycles throughout the night in the following order:

● Stage 1 – the transition between being awake and being asleep

● Stage 2 - your breathing pattern and heart rate slow down and you enter a light sleep

● Stage 3 - your breathing and heart rate enter their lowest levels and you will be in a deep sleep

● Stage 4 - this is very similar to stage three

● Stage 5 (REM sleep) - you enter a stage of sleep known as Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep

● Once REM sleep is over we return to stage one again. The whole cycle takes about 90 minutes and we have 4-5 of these cycles a night

The five stages of sleep

NB: It is normal to wake up several times throughout the night – many people fall back asleep without even

noticing!

New born babies 16 – 18 hours

1 year + 13 - 14 hours

Adolescents 8 - 12 hours

Adults 7 - 8 hours

Older adults 6 - 7 hours

The average adult will range between 5 – 11 hours

How much sleep?

● The average amount of sleep a night is around seven not eight hours. Most adults with ‘normal’ sleep get between 5 and 10 hours a night

● Sleep varies from person to person and is predicted by a number of factors – the most important being age

● As we get older there is a decrease in deep sleep (stages 3 and 4) and an increase in light sleep (stages 1 and 2). Therefore, older adults are more likely to be disturbed by noise or wake up spontaneously

What is normal sleep?

● Just as people may need different size shoes they may need different amounts of sleep

● It is important to find out how much sleep we actually need, and to recognise it may be different from the amount that others need and how much we used to sleep before

How much sleep?

● Equally important as the total amount of sleep is the pattern of sleep

● Each person’s “sleep timer” is set slightly differently; some people function best in the mornings, others best in the evenings, many of us are somewhere in between

Sleep patterns

● Poor sleep relates not only to the total amount of sleep, but also to the

quality of sleep and the amount of time spent awake

● Many people benefit from improving the quality of their sleep. The lifestyle we lead and the environment around us can effect our sleep

Poor sleep

1. No caffeine 4 hours before bedtime2. If you smoke, avoid smoking around bedtime and when you wake up

during the night3. Be careful with alcohol at bedtime4. Avoid heavy meals5. Avoid vigorous exercise within 2 hours of bedtime6. Keep your bedroom calm and comfortable7. Keep your bedroom temperature comfortable8. Minimise noise and light in the bedroom9. Keep your bedroom mainly for sleeping - avoid watching tv/radio or eating

in your bedroom10. Try to keep regular bedtimes

10 rules for improved sleep

Environment

● The bedroom should be somewhere that we associate with sleep

● You need to be able to relax without any distractions

● Common factors that effect our sleep are light, noise and temperature

● Keeping a diary can sometimes help us to recognise these factors

Lifestyle

● There are a number of things that you can do every day to help improve your sleep

● Changes to our diet and level of exercise can all have an effect on our

bodies

Caffeine: stimulates you physically, increasing your heart rate and

adrenaline production

Alcohol: It can help you fall asleep, but it impairs sleep quality and can have

a diuretic effect

Nicotine: Can impair sleep, smokers take longer to enter sleep and have

less total sleep time (by approx 14 minutes per night)

Eating habits: Eating large meals should be avoided, because the body will

spend time digesting before it can sleep. Foods with large amounts of sugar in

can also make sleeping difficult

● Regular exercise can help you to sleep

● Exercise is known to help improve mood and reduce feelings of anxiety

● Exercise earlier in the day is better for people who want to improve sleep as in the short term it increases adrenaline production, making it difficult to sleep

Exercise

Attitude

● When lying in bed trying to sleep, we can often find ourselves worrying about tomorrow’s events. However, this worry then makes it harder for us to get to sleep

● Thinking about sleep too much or trying to force yourself to sleep will only keep you awake

• Relaxation techniques can help you to unwind and release tension

• Try practices like mindfulness (a type of meditation) which can be done both on your own or through an audio guide

• If you’re not tired, get up. Instead of staying in bed and getting more frustrated, get up and have a warm milky drink (remember NO sugar or caffeine) and just go back to bed when you feel a little sleepier

Learn to relax

●This can be used before bed to help you to feel relaxed.

Progressive muscle relaxation

Important contacts

Talking Change – 023 9289 2920

Contact us to request a referral pack or collect one from your GP surgery or local health centre.

Contact your GP- They are really your first port of call if you are feeling worse, both physically and mentally, or if you feel you require medication or need to change your medication.

The Samaritans – 023 9269 1313

This telephone helpline provides confidential emotional support 24/7 to those experiencing despair, distress or suicidal feelings.

Accident and Emergency (A & E) -

If you feel absolutely desperate and feel you are at immediate risk either from yourself or from others, then you need to go to A & E or ring 999.

Life Begins at 60 Talking Change October 8 2014 Introduction Alison Thompson 023 9289 2920.

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Transcript of Life Begins at 60 Talking Change October 8 2014 Introduction Alison Thompson 023 9289 2920.