Leveraging Style for Conflict Management€¦ · Communication Preferences 13 • Expressive...

4/28/2016

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Leveraging Style for Conflict Management

Merida L. Johns, PhD, RHIAThe Monarch Center for Women’s Leadership Development

www.TheMonarchCtr.com Copyright: Merida L. Johns

Conflict

www.TheMonarchCtr.com - Copyright: Merida L. Johnswww.TheMonarchCtr.com Copyright: Merida L. Johns

4/28/2016

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Sources of Conflict

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POWER

CLASH OF IDEAS

SCARCE RESOURCES

GOALS


Forms of Conflict

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Healthy Unhealthy

• Depersonalized• Work in progress• Ideas and plans• Who should do what

• Rooted in anger• Personality clashes• Ego-driven


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Leader’s Role in Conflict

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In C

onfl

ict • Know

personal default style

• Know other’s response

• Know when to change default M

edia

tor • Neutral

• Assess cause• Analyze

potential effects/actions

• Provide fair resolutionI

Copyright: Merida L. Johns

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What is Social Style

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▫ Describes patterns of behavior

▫ Describes interpersonal functioning

▫ Focus on social relationships


Social Style Chart

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Amiable• Likes other people’s company

A listener not a talker

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• A listener not a talker• Loyal, personable, patient• Non-confrontational• Unlikely to take risks• Slow in making decision• Good counseling and listening skills• Weak in goal setting and self-

direction

• In conflict: passive, avoids• Basic need: Security


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Communication Preferences

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• Amiable (Relationships)▫ Spend time relating upfront▫ Ask open-ended questions▫ Allow time for brainstorming▫ Listen


Expressive• Likes company of others• Talker not a listener

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• Talker not a listener• Tends to dream and get others

caught up in dreams• Likes to be the center action• Jumps from one activity to

another• Energy, action, emotional

• In conflict: Unpredictable, pemotional

• Basic Need: Recognition


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• Expressive (Spontaneous) • Relate first, don’t jump into business up

front▫ Acknowledge their energy▫ Repeat back what they say▫ Allow them to blow off steam


Analytical• Likes organization and structure• Likes to look at every angle before

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• Likes to look at every angle before making a decision

• Persistent in questioning• Focus on detail and facts• Prefers objective, task-oriented,

intellectual work• Works slowly, precisely, alone

• In conflict: Can appear to be ppnegative

• Basic Need: To be correct

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• Analytic (Thinker) • Explain purpose ahead of time▫ Purpose of meeting/conversation▫ Send questions ahead of time▫ Ask them questions▫ Ask them for their data


Driver• Expect efficiency from everyone• Little emphasis on building

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• Little emphasis on building relationships – low tolerance for feelings

• Risk taker• Decisive - pushes things through• Dislikes inaction• Cool, independent, competitive• Good administrative skills

• In conflict: Aggressive, abrupt• Basic Need: To control


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• Driver (Results) • Let them know end game▫ Be precise – bullet points▫ Ask questions that facilitate decision making▫ Step forward quickly


Backup and Growth Behaviors

Backup Behaviors

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Backup Behaviors

Amiable Expressive Analytic Driver

Acquiesces Attacks Avoids Autocratic

Growth

Amiable Expressive Analytic Driver

Initiate Check Decide Listen


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Six Principles

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•How aware was I of my style and emotions?

Be aware of your style

•What were my assumptions?

Understand clash of beliefs/values

•Did I understand the other person?

Acknowledge/understand the other’s style

•What tone did I set?

Set proper frame

Communicate with tact and empathy

•How well did I communicate to the other’s style?

•How might results been different if I changed my style?

Change style to accommodate the situation


Left Hand Column Exercise

Left Hand Reflection Right Hand (What Happened)

Think of a difficult conversation or conflict with someone that you were involved with recently that was less than satisfactory.

Write down the conversation that t k l b t d th

•How aware was I of my style and emotions?

Be aware of your style

•What were my assumptions?

Understand clash of beliefs/values

•Did I understand the other person?

Acknowledge/understand the other’s style

Set proper frame

took place between you and the other person.

•What tone did I set?

•How well did I communicate to the other’s style?

Communicate with tact and empathy

•How might results been different if I changed my style?

Change style to accommodate the situation

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Take Aways

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Toast to Leadership

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Leveraging Style for Conflict Management€¦ · Communication Preferences 13 • Expressive...

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