LETS NOT! TALK ABOUT SEX BABY

From a Maori Prospective

Ko Jenny Manuera Taku ingoa

• Ngati Kahu / Nga Puhi/Welsh/fijian/spanish/french

• Private Practice – Manuera Life Development Services

• 17 years as a Counsellor • STNZ Therapist / member of STING• Work in Tamaki Makaurau(Auckland) &

Kirikiriroa (Hamilton)

Why is it difficult for most Maori to talk about anything sexually. never mind

dysfunction in a therapeutic environment?

Consider the following

•Mana: high status/pride/esteemed high – effective for Tane / Wahine – ensure Mana always

•Tika: our guidelines / ethics the right way

•Pono: integrity / true to self / honesty – transparency

•Tapu: sacredness / forbidden

•Aroha: love /compassion/concern – underpins all of these concepts

Whakapapa• This is the essence of who we are

MAORI – (our Ethos)

• Presently: We are in this age - sex driven to maintain Whakapapa lines

• KO WAI AU - Who am I

• Those who have come before us (Tupuna)

• Those who will journey on from us - future generation Tamariki/Mokopuna

Beginning of dysfunctionColonisation effect

• LOSS OF:

• Whenua – Land• Moana/awa - Our waters• Te Reo - Our language• Taonga - Treasures• Identity

EFFECTS – for us as Maori

• The inability to resolve conflict - Korero to each other

• Unable to create an positive atmosphere to address issues – as a couple

• Isolation for us as Maori - Urbanisation

• Disconnected from our Marae / Hapu / Iwi

• Effect of Diseases e.g. diabetes/heart etc

• Substance abuse

• Lack of healthy balance of Hinengaro(Mind), Tinana(Body)Wairua(Spiritual/emotion) and Whanau

• All of this sets up environment for total Sexual Dysfunction

TAWHITO – Old Maori World

• Dystinctive roles - for Wahine / Tane

• Equality for both gender - separate responsibility

• TOHUNGA - Priest/expert/counsellor – own therapist

– Practiced Te Whare Tapa wha – holistic balance

– Dealt with all levels of health

– Provided rongo

– Mythology - our own stories – Sexual stories – in a Narrative way

– Display of genitals within our carvings / waka as a sign of MANA

– He upheld the importance of Wahine Toa – esteemed her high

– Karakia

Ist story - Hine nui te Po

• Hine nui te Po – Great lady of the night• First part of sexual encounter : beginning• Tane meets Hine-ahu-one – first women of Maori Mythology• Tane ejaculated his sperm all over her – to produce whakapapa• First born: - Hine Ti-tama – He had sexual intercourse with her (daughter) – Dysfunction

within maoridom occurred• She ran out of shame – that overwelmed her- Whakama• CHOICE: - Run back to him and face shame-pull in to trauma/depression or?• Go forward: descend into darkness to become • Maori Goddess – changed her name to Hine nui te Po be empowered

• Nik Minute:• Maui – (Hero dude captured the SUN) wanted to trick/defeat her• Turned himself into a worm to climb into her vagina while she was sleeping• To gain immortality “WRONG”!• Manu (bird) laughed – woke her and she crushed him to death between her thighs

Te Ao Hau – (New world)• Where are our Goddesses?• Where are our Warriors ?WE HAVE: Dysfunction:High stats in PrisonsA & D issuesDomestic violence within whanauAbuse of our childrenBIGGEST ISSUES ARE:Our disconnection from our whakapapa - our Identity of who we are MaoriNot understanding that we were “Once Warriors”!!Not knowing our stories of ole that empower usUnderstanding and implementing “Te whare tapa wha”!Impact of “Whakama”! – Shyness to shame - 38 plateusForgotton how to “whitiwhiti korero” - Talk about sex babySO!!!!!

Te Ao HauBIGGEST ISSUES ARE:Our disconnection from our whakapapa - our Identity of who we are Maori

Not understanding that we were “Once Warriors”!!

Not knowing our stories of ole that empower us

Understanding and implementing “Te whare tapa wha”!Impact of “Whakama”! – Shyness to shame - 38 plateusForgotton how to “whitiwhiti korero” - Talk about sex babySO!!!!!

Formula for dysfunction

• Reclaim who we are as “Maori”-know our stories• STEP:1 • Start with Positive statement/ whakatauki / Karakia – If ok with them

• STEP : 2• Practice Manaakitanga - ensure MANA – hospitality of the highest

• STEP: 3• Whakawhanaungatanga - connection – tell Maori who you are where you are from -

(Takes 1 minute)• STEP: 4• Set up environment – Marae atea - 3 levels fo space / Tapu – another Korero

Whakatauki – Maori Proverb

• He aha te mea nui I te Ao What is the greatest thing in the world

Maku e Ki Atu I tell you

He Tangata He Tangata He tangata HiIt is people it is people it is people