It was a regular old Thursday morning, except that Miranda’s alarm clock

rang a little earlier than usual. With lightning speed, she rolled over, turned off

her alarm, and sprang out of bed. It was an important day, because she was

about to execute her fool-proof secret morning plan: get to the bathroom before

her older brother, Ian.

Lessons from a Rubber Duck

1

You see, sometime around Ian’s

thirteenth birthday something mysterious

occurred in his brain, and he turned into

Ian the Terrible. He had always been kind

of annoying, but since turning thirteen, he

went from being kind of annoying to being

the most obnoxious and rude big brother

that probably ever existed. Lately, Miranda

had been using her vivid imagination to

brainstorm a list of possible ways to get

rid of her brother. She was considering

blasting Ian off into outer space to live on

Mars or having him adopted by another

family who lives in Antarctica.

2

She opened her bedroom door and peered into the long, dark hallway.

There was no sign of him. Quietly, she sneaked toward the bathroom in her

pink, fuzzy, bunny pajamas. She tiptoed past Ian’s bedroom door like a knight

sneaking past a sleeping dragon.

As she reached the door of the bathroom, Ian suddenly flung open his

bedroom door and yawned loudly. Startled, Miranda yelled, “Ugh! Why are

you awake so early?”

Ian stretched his skinny, freckled arms across the doorway to his evil dragon

lair. “Because your alarm clock woke me up, loser! By the way, nice hair,” he

said with a smirk, “What did you do? Brush it with a dead squirrel?”

3

She looked over into the hallway mirror. Her thick, curly hair was

sticking straight out, in at least twenty different directions like a red porcupine

had curled up and fallen asleep on the back of her head.

“Well, Ian, I get the bathroom first because I woke up first. It’s only fair.”

“If life was fair, then I wouldn’t have a little sister. I get the bathroom first

‘cuz I’m older than you.” Ian rolled his beady, little, blue eyes, in his usual way

and walked in the bathroom, “By the way, those pajamas are stupid.”

Miranda looked down at the bunnies hopping across her soft pink pajamas

and scowled. Filled with frustration and anger, she thought, I hate his beady

little eyes and I hate having him as my brother! Why can’t he move far away and

become a clown in the circus? She imagined Ian wearing a red rubber nose,

oversized shoes, and a curly yellow wig.

4