Language and LinguisticsLanguage and Linguistics

Unit 6 Language Function 3: Unit 6 Language Function 3: Managing Interpersonal RelationsManaging Interpersonal Relations

Presented By: Jia Lin (Dana)

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Did you think about it?Did you think about it?

• Language learners often find apologies and requests difficult.

• Understanding culture, “face” and politeness maxims can improve interpersonal relationships.

• Unit 6 will focus on these areas.

P199

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Unit 6 ObjectivesUnit 6 Objectives

• Learn about the connections between language, roles, status and interpersonal relations.

• Become more sensitive to social norms and the feelings of others.

• Develop a clearer sense of “face” and how to put your best face forward.

• Understanding politeness maxims.

A1 P202-203

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Unit 6 OverviewUnit 6 OverviewM anag ing In te rp erso na l Re la tio ns

T a sks1 , 2 , 3 , 4

1 R o les a n d R e la tio nsin La ng ua ge

R e v ie wD iscu ss ion

T a sks1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

2 C h ine se a nd E ng lishF a ces

T a sks1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

3 C h ine se a nd E ng lishP o liten e ss

W a rm -upE xe rc ise

A1 P202-203

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Warm-up ExerciseWarm-up Exercise

Are there really “too many people” around you? Imagine that it is 8 am. You are on your way to class and you are the only passenger on the bus. The streets are empty. Feeling nervous? When you get off the bus, a person standing at the bus stop speaks to you...

Role-play the conversation with your partner.

A1 P203

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Warm-up ExerciseWarm-up Exercise

The idea of empty streets strikes fear into the heart. Humans are really very social animals. We like to have other people around to work with, associate with and live with.

A1 P203

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11Roles and Relations in LanguageRoles and Relations in Language

A1 P204

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Key TermsKey Terms

hierarchy

insider/outsider

prestige

social norms

dominant

subordinate

individualism

collectivism

...ranking in terms of authority

...person inside/outside the group

...respect or reputation

...standards of customary behavior

...one having higher authority

...one having lower authority

...favoring freedom & independence

...favoring interests of the group

A1 T1-4 P204-214

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Levels of authority in society.Levels of authority in society.

A1 T1 P204

National authorityPresident, Premier, Prime Minister

Authority of province or statePremier, Governor

Local authoritiesPolice, Mayor, City Hall

WorkplaceBoss

FamilyParents

HIERARCHYHIERARCHY

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Roles and degree of distance.Roles and degree of distance.

• In society, each person has his or her roles and responsibilities.

• Depending on how close or familiar two people are, the level of formality will be greater or less.

• The level of responsibility also varies with emotional distance (stranger, acquaintance or intimate).

• For example, every elderly person deserves respect, but you would probably do shopping or cleaning chores only for a close relative!

A1 T1 P204-205

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Insiders and outsiders.Insiders and outsiders.• If you are considered part of the

group (friend, family, team, nationality), then you are an insider.

• If you are excluded from the group, then you are an outsider.

• If you have prestige (high status), you enjoy respect and more people will want you in their groups. Examples?

A1 T1 P205

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It’s not easy being “new”.It’s not easy being “new”.

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Consider the following expressions... newcomer, new kid on the block, trainee, immigrant, “waidiren”... What do they all have in common? What is difficult about each situation?

In a group of 2-5 students, choose a situation in which a person is a newcomer (new work, school, country or city). How can a person make the transition from outsider to insider? What steps must he or she take? What does he or she need to learn? (Discuss.)

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Social norms.Social norms.

• Behavior in public is governed by social norms.• For example, people waiting for service at a bank or

ticket counter are expected to queue or wait in line. Waiting in line is considered proper behavior.

• What will happen if a person jumps a queue in China? USA? Canada?

• How do social norms differ between cultures?

A1 T2 P206

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How social norms may differ.How social norms may differ.

A1 T2 P206-207

Location:

1) China

2) Japan

3) France

4) USA

Public action:

A. Wear slippers to class.

B. Wear pajamas outside.

C. Picking one’s nose/eyes.

D. Spitting on the ground.

E. Elbow through a crowd.

F. Stand within 30 cm of an acquaintance.

G. Greet by kissing cheeks.

Outcome:

a) Considered acceptable.

b) Considered a little unacceptable/strange.

c) Considered rude/offensive/weird.

?

?

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How social norms may differ.How social norms may differ.

A1 T2 P206-207

Public action:

A. Wear slippers to class. (Generally not acceptable.)

B. Wear pajamas outside. (Okay in China, considered odd in France and USA.)

C. Picking one’s nose/eyes. (Picking eyes not as rude as nose in USA.)

D. Spitting on the ground. (Generally not acceptable, rude in cities.)

E. Elbow through a crowd. (Excusable in an emergency in USA, okay in China.)

F. Stand within 30 cm of an acquaintance. (More acceptable in China and France, less acceptable in Japan and USA.)

G. Greet by kissing cheeks. (Common in France, uncommon but acceptable in USA, weird in China and Japan.)

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Seating arrangements.Seating arrangements.

• At this company meeting, who would you say has the highest position? Next?

• Usually, the dominant person sits at the head, center or left position.

• Subordinates sit on the right and sides. Sitting opposite the boss may indicate a secondary position of power.

A1 T2 P207-208

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Consideration for others.Consideration for others.

• Children need to be taught “manners” or the need to consider other people’s needs and feelings.

• Putting the interests of individuals first is called individualism, putting the interests of the group first is termed collectivism.

• Degrees of individualism and collectivism vary between cultures. The size and scope of a collective group may also vary.

A1 T3 P208-209

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Consideration for others.Consideration for others.

• How may ideas of collectivism or individualism influence... whether people greet strangers? behavior at traffic lights? who pays for a child’s education? vacations?

A1 T3 P208-209

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Professional ethics.Professional ethics.• Doctors need to apply

professional ethics in the way they talk to patients (e.g. break bad news).

• It is important to show consideration and respect for the feelings of patients and family members.

• Give examples (from the text or experience) that highlight how doctors can show sensitivity.

A1 T3 P210-212

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Showing sensitivity in the family.Showing sensitivity in the family.

• Mutual concern and sensitivity contributes to a happy marriage.

• Wife: “You should know how I feel.”

• Husband: “Why didn’t you just say so!”

• Examples?

A1 T3 P213

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Key ConceptsKey Concepts

A1 T1-4 P213-214

Task 1 Understand roles, relations and status... Hierarchy, distance and prestige all affect the way people treat one another.

Task 2 Discover social norms... Social norms govern human behavior and expectations of what is proper behavior.

Task 3 Develop awareness of others... Degrees of individualism, collectivism, sensitivity.

Task 4 Activity summary... Successful social relations depend on being aware of others and showing consideration for them.

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22Chinese and English FacesChinese and English Faces

A2 P215

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Key TermsKey Terms

face

condescension

prominence

self-image

vulnerability

negative face

positive face

...a person’s image and esteem

...to patronize an inferior

...being distinguished or important

...the view one has of oneself

...relative ease of being damaged

...desire not to be forced to do sth.

...desire to be considered and appreciated

A2 T1-5 P215-231

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The Chinese concept of “face”.The Chinese concept of “face”.

• Certain aspects of mianzi or lian are difficult to translate into English, but “face” generally refers to a person’s esteem or image in front of others.

• A person who loses face loses status and worth in the estimation of others.

• To cause someone else to lose face is to inflict psychological harm and reflects badly on the doer. However, giving a person face shows kindness and respect.

A2 T1 P215

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Explain how “face” is involved.Explain how “face” is involved.• In each case, explain how the person lost either

lian or mianzi:– a boss invites his secretary to dinner but is turned down– a secretary helps a “friend” get a job at her company

but her friend is not a hard worker– a female student suffers condescension from a teacher

who says she can’t understand physics because she is “only a girl”

– a man’s wife leaves him to become another’s mistress.

A2 T1 P215-218

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LianLian involves fulfilling expectations. involves fulfilling expectations.

• A decent person tries to live up to moral and other standards.

• A well-educated person who fails in business, a wife who fails to care for her family or a leader who fails to serve his people have all lost lian.

• What other examples can you think of that involve losing or gaining lian?

A2 T2 P219-220

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MianziMianzi involves influence and worth. involves influence and worth.• A person with mianzi can achieve goals

through personal influence on others.• Achievement indicates greater worth or

mianzi, but failure to achieve goals indicates that mianzi is lacking.

• Beware: challenging, criticizing or failing to give a person due prominence can cause him/her to lose mianzi!

• Damage to mianzi is not as serious as damage to lian. Mianzi can be recovered more easily. Examples?

A2 T2 P221-224

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Everyone needs to have dignity.Everyone needs to have dignity.

• Even children need some dignity and self-esteem.

• The self-esteem of teenagers is especially fragile.

• Parents and teachers should not humiliate young people, but find other ways to correct them. Examples?

A2 T3 P224-226

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Understanding “face” in English.Understanding “face” in English.• A person’s sense of face is shaped by

culture and environment.• People of the British upper class used to

have a strong sense of honor, pride and dignity. Compare the loss of face of an upper-class English gentleman who is forced to work to the Manchu in Case 8 (Task 1, p 218).

• Americans tend to place more emphasis on internal self-image than on external appearances and appraisals.

A2 T4 P226-229

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Uses of the word “face” in English.Uses of the word “face” in English.

1. “put on my face”

2. “put on a brave face”

3. “the face of a building”

4. “tried to save face”

5. “dare to show his face”

6. “face the facts”

7. “to his face”

8. “make a face”

...apply makeup

...show courage despite fear

...the front side

...avoid embarrassment

...make an appearance

...admit sth. difficult

...brazenly, without fear

...move facial muscles in a silly or impudent way

A2 T4 P226-229

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Negative and positive face.Negative and positive face.• Negative face involves

being free to do things without being imposed upon by anyone.

• Example: a manager does not answer the telephone directly; calls are first handled by a secretary.

• Not related to the concept of mianzi.

• Positive face involves being appreciated and having one’s wishes fulfilled.

• Example: a popular actress enjoys being admired and catered to.

• Similar to the concept of mianzi.

A2 T3 P229-230

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Vulnerability of face.Vulnerability of face.• The vulnerability of a person’s face refers to the danger that

he/she will lose face.

• For example, a request can be a threat to the positive face (lose face if refused) of the one requesting, as well as the negative face (lose face if imposed upon) of the one of whom the request is made.

• Polite preparatory work before making a request and giving the other an “easy way out” reduces the threat to both parties.

A2 T3 P229-230

...but only if you want to.

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Key ConceptsKey Concepts

A2 T1-5 P215-230

Task 1 Reflect on Chinese lian and mianzi... Comparison of lian and mianzi through use of examples.

Task 2 Let’s do a bit of theorizing... Exploring the reasons for differences between lian and mianzi.

Task 3 Care for children’s lian... Dignity and self-esteem are also important for children.

Task 4 Toward an understanding of English face... Examine the use of face in English.

Task 5 Activity summary... Understand how the Chinese and English concepts of face are similar/different.

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33Chinese and English PolitenessChinese and English Politeness

A3 P231

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Key TermsKey Terms

modest

considerate

refinement

tact

maxim

approbation

sympathy

...having a humble, moderate self-image

...showing thoughtful care to others

...polish or elegance in behavior, manners

...ability to speak or act without offending

...rule of conduct expressed in few words

...expressing approval and agreement

...showing fellow feeling

A3 T1-5 P231-238

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Chinese values.Chinese values.

A3 T1 P231-232

Value Oriented to Example of how it may be expressed

warmth others Heap up the guest’s plate with meat.

respect others Remember rank and title.

modesty self “Nali, nali.” Be careful not to put oneself above others.

considerateness

self, others Give up one’s seat to an older or sick person or a mother with a small child.

refinement self Avoid things that are dirty or distasteful. Show a bit of reserve.

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English values.English values.

A3 T1 P231-232

Value Oriented to Example of how it may be expressed

freedom self Do as you like, let others do as they like.

respect others Do not impose on others. Assume that others know what they are doing.

tact others Avoid doing anything to harm the feelings of others.

honesty others Say what you really mean unless this conflicts with showing tact.

kindness others When possible, try to make others happy.

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Chinese politeness maxims.Chinese politeness maxims.

A3 T2 P232-234

Do you agree with the following translations of Chinese politeness maxims? Discuss in groups of 2-5.

1. Be modest and self-denigrating when talking about yourself but be lavish in your praise of others.

2. Use proper terms of address when speaking to others.

3. Be refined, avoiding things that are distasteful. Show a bit of reserve.

4. Try to agree with others as much as possible.

5. Be virtuous in words and actions.

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English politeness maxims.English politeness maxims.

A3 T3 P235-236

Consider what one writer said regarding principles of English politeness...

1. Be tactful. Avoid saying anything that might disparage or upset the other person.

2. Be generous. Feel free to offer, but do not make demands.

3. If possible, show approbation/approval. Try to agree when you can. If you can’t, it’s better not to say anything.

4. Be modest. Do not brag. Be self-deprecating.

5. Show sympathy and fellow feeling.

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Compare politeness maxims.Compare politeness maxims.

• Since both Chinese and English politeness maxims include modesty, agreement, approval, tact, generosity and sympathy, are they the same?

• How are they different?• Do people always follow

the maxims?

A3 T4 P236-237

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Let’s look at an example.Let’s look at an example.

A3 T4 P236

An American couple come to China for 3 months for business. While in China, they feel they were given poor service at certain shops. They complain loudly and at length to their Chinese friends. What maxim did the Americans violate? Why? How could their Chinese friends repair the situation?

modesty tact

refinement generosity

agreement sympathy

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Analysis of the first example.Analysis of the first example.

A3 T4 P236

By complaining so much, the Americans failed to show tact. They may have considered their Chinese friends as “insiders” but they failed to realize that criticizing local people could alienate their friends. The Chinese friends could repair the situation by showing sympathy and reminding the Americans of the many times they received good service.

modesty tact

refinement generosity

agreement sympathy

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Let’s look at a second example.Let’s look at a second example.

A3 T4 P236

A foreign teacher (female) does some proofreading work for a Chinese publishing company. A manager (Chinese male) mentions that the company wants to publish more children’s books. The teacher expresses interest in writing such books. The manager does not respond but later invites her to dinner. The teacher says she is sorry and has other plans. Both are unhappy. Can you suggest which maxims were violated?

modesty tact

refinement generosity

agreement sympathy

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Analysis of the second example.Analysis of the second example.

A3 T4 P236

Culture/gender differences call for extra refinement and sympathy. When the manager did not respond to her idea, the teacher may have concluded that he was not interested. Since in her country business is usually discussed in a daytime meeting and not at dinner, she probably felt uneasy with his invitation. He may have sensed her unease and felt insulted, because in China business is often discussed over dinner!

modesty tact

refinement generosity

agreement sympathy

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Key ConceptsKey Concepts

A2 T1-5 P215-230

Task 1 Reflect on the differences between Chinese and English values... Similar values between Chinese and English.

Task 2 Chinese politeness maxims... include modesty, terms of address, refinement, agreement and virtue.

Task 3 English politeness maxims... include modesty, agreement, approbation, tact, generosity and sympathy.

Task 4 Make a contrastive study... Compare the way Chinese and English apply (or fail to apply) maxims.

Task 5 Activity summary... You should be able to analyze behavior to find underlying values and maxims.

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Unit 6 Review QuestionsUnit 6 Review Questions

• Give an example of a social norm.

• What is the difference between individualism and collectivism?

• Explain the ideas behind the English face, and the Chinese terms lian and mianzi.

• What are the similarities and differences between Chinese and English politeness?

A1-3 P237-238

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Progress Report & Assignment 2Progress Report & Assignment 2

0102030405060708090

100

SSPR6

Ass't2

Unit 4Unit 5Unit 6

• You should now be able to do the 6th Progress Report.

• You should also be able to answer the questions for Assignment 2.

• Have you read through all of the questions?

A1-3 P238

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Something to think about...Something to think about...

• It seems that in all cultures, people want to give others a good impression of themselves (face).

• How can language learners determine when speech acts are sincere? When something is said to preserve/enhance face?

A1-3 P238

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Additional ReadingAdditional Reading

• How to follow politeness maxims in “pass-time” conversations... How to Communicate Successfully 62-66

• Modes of address, address terms... The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Language 44-45.

• The concept of “face”... http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(social_custom)

A1-3 P238

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It’s time for YOUR questions.It’s time for YOUR questions.

• Are there still any areas of difficulty?

• Do you have any questions about concepts or their application?

• Thank you for your participation.

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