DILEMMA

It is said that the cheapest commodity in this world is people’s opinion because everyone has a truckload to give away. The sad part that fuels this phenom-enon is that it’s free, and, unfortunately, most of

it is worth its weight in rubbish. Every Tom, Dick and Harriet has something to say. You can’t stop people

from giving opinions, but you sure can choose how to deal with them.

Who’s buying?By Kevin Abdulrahman

14 l UAE Digest, July-August 2009

Here’s the bottomline. You are in control. You choose whether to ac-cept those opinions or not. You choose whether you let what Tom says affect you and you choose whether Dick’s criticisms makes you feel down and out. You choose whether what Harriet thinks of you af-fects how you do your business.

Always consider this—if those people giving you their opinions don’t have what you want or aren’t where you want to be, then why should you accept their opin-ions? Just think about it. Why take their opinion if that’s all they are giving away? Someone might think that it’s a good idea for you to jump off a cliff, but would you do it? Someone else might think that it’s a good idea for your child to hang around street gangs, but would you agree to it? One person might think your spouse isn’t the right person for you, but would you swap? (Some of you might !) Another might not like the shirt you’re wearing, but would you let others choose your clothes for you? Isn’t it interesting that most poor people like to give their advice on how to make money and become rich? Isn’t it interesting that most people will tell you how to have a successful relation-ship when they’re going through their eleventh spouse? Isn’t it interesting how many will commentate on an athlete’s per-formance as they are watching the game on television from their couch?

I have always asked myself—and, at times, challenged some friends who wanted to give me their opinions, to an-swer this question: I would say something like “I like to have a lavish time free life so I will need a fair amount of money to keep me happy. Being the spontaneous person that I am, I could be in New York one day and feel like sitting on the beautiful sands in the Gold Coast of Australia the next. I could be walking on the Great Wall of China midweek and then want to head to Pisa to admire the leaning tower for the weekend. I want to be able to give my fam-ily whatever they need, without a blink. That would cost a lot purely in monetary terms. You are suggesting very strongly that I do not do this project, so, would you be able to wire the funds that I require into my account every year?”

To this, every friend would stutter and then always say, “No.” (Can’t seem to find one that will take the bait)

I would turn around and say, “So if you can’t give me what I want, would you be kind enough not to give me your opinions either? I am an all or nothing guy; how about you give me all or noth-ing.” I never hear their opinion from that point on. It’s a bit harsh, but it helped me stay focused.

I want you to imagine shopping for groceries at your local supermarket. You want some fruit, vegetables, milk, orange juice, and some pasta for dinner. You enter armed with your list, knowing exactly what you need to buy. But is what you want all that there is on offer in the supermarket? Oh no.

Supermarkets are great at strategically displaying thousands of products, all to tempt you to pick them up off the shelves. Let me ask you, how many times have you fallen for this marketing ploy? How many times have you ended up buying things that were not on your shopping list, things that you had no intention of buying? Those products did not just jump off the shelf and into your basket (although at times it feels like it). Those who are on a strict budget and those who are serious about going in and getting out are usually the best at avoiding this trap. They simply go in, buy what they come for, and leave—mission accomplished.

Your life is like going through a super-market. It’s filled with people’s opinions. It’s completely up to you what ends up in your basket, which will determine what you take through the checkout with you. Successful people have mastered the art of being able to keep opinions shelved with the owner. They only listen to the right people in the right field. Just because someone has an opinion doesn’t mean you have to buy it. Successful peo-ple are good at becoming unaffected by opinions, good or bad. They go with what they have set out to do. They go with their shopping list.

Again, we don’t let others choose the clothes we wear. We don’t let others choose our spouse, the sport we play, or our friends. Therefore, never let someone else choose how you should live or what you should do with your life. You are not disrespecting anyone; you’re just choos-ing not to take in the opinions others are offering—it’s that simple.

George Burns, an actor and comedian

once said, “Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

We can’t help how many opinions are made available to us, especially in this day and age. When each person seems to want to offload a dozen opinions at a time, we have the choice to buy into their opinions or let them slip away at the same speed that they come toward us.

Fear and personal limitations rule most people’s realities. People give you their opinions based on their own fears. They will talk you out of an idea or a venture you might be planning. They are unable to see what you see. They will not have your skill set, talent and knowledge. They will have their own set of limitations.

Unfortunately, these people are often those who are the closest to you. They don’t really want to do you harm, but in most instances, they have absolutely no clue about what they are talking about. If they did, they would be doing something more active with their lives rather than giving their opinion.

Kevin Abdulrahman is an interna-tional author of the book on Winning The Game Of Life. He is also a world class in-spirational keynote speaker, a sought after mind nutrition expert and a mind coach to the elite in every field. Kevin provides customised trainings to his clients includ-ing individuals, teams, companies and athletes who want to catapult from where they are, to where they should and want to be. If you want to go from Good to Great, you can log on to www.MeetWithKevin.com

UAE Digest, July-August 2009 l 15