Having started at the end of this past school year, the eLearning2 program is putting a new perspective on how students use technology in Edina. eLearning2 is a program meant to get the latest in resourceful technology into the hands of every Edina student by providing them with personal devices.

Bloomington’s tech powerhouse Best Buy teamed up with Edina Public Schools to provide students with technologies optimized for them at great discounts. Edina “[is] the only school dis-trict that has this,” said Instructional Technology Specialist Mr. Tim Berndt. The game changing program is starting to gain national attention with over two hundred school districts nationwide contacting Best Buy about the opportunity.

The program started out last year for the fresh-men class. This year, it has expanded to sixth graders and is projected to expand to grades six through twelve within the next three years.

So far it is still not mandatory for students to have a device, rather the program “is about learning and we feel that a device like this is just another tool in the toolbox for students,” said Berndt.

The process started about a year and a half ago. As many school districts began a so-called “One to One Initiative” (programs that result in every student getting a device), Edina set out to find a practical way to get technology to students.

eLearning2 offers roughly twenty-five per-cent off laptops, sixty percent off Chromebooks, and nearly eighty five percent off the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2.

All this technology is great, but if students don’t know how to use the devices, then what’s the point? The other leg of the eLearning2 program is the Geek Squad technical support provided

multiple days a week at no cost to students. Kids are most likely jumping out of their desks

at the idea of such a deal on a tablet, but unexpect-edly, so are parents. At a parent feedback forum held on Mar. 12, 2013 (meeting notes available at http://edinaschools.org/Page/582), parents were, overall, pleased with the program’s outcome. “My son is more interested in school because of his access to information,” said one parent, while another commented on the resourcefulness her daughter had gained, noting that “[The] tablet allows my daughter to do homework during [after school activities].” The natural concern of being able to get students away from the games” arose, and that will be a struggle for the program moving forward, but the district has already taken a stand against it. The Police Liaison came to school to tutor kids on the legality of being online, and the district is partnering with parents to ensure appropriate device use within the school.

Matt Woolsey, culture editor

The official newspaper of Edina High School

ZEPH

YRUSN

EWSZ Culture p. 10

Eyes on the Future: Read about new tech innovations!

www.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

In-Depth p. 6-7Carpe Diem: All about everyone’s favorite way of seizing the day!

Back Page p. 12Meet the Staff: Can you match each member with their bio?

Edina High School senior Chris Enriquez is in the process of bringing his tech startup company, Kicks Closet, to New York City. “We want to go to New York City because it is the key business city in the largest economy in the world,” said Enriquez. With a $20,000 investment to cover half of the startup cost, Enriquez is busy working as an entrepreneur.

Kicks Closet started in the winter of 2013 when Enriquez was buying and selling shoes on eBay. “eBay took ten percent of every sale. That is a lot of money when you sell shoes at two hundred dollars apiece,” said Enriquez. Because of the high costs of buying and selling on eBay, Enriquez came up with the idea of an app where individu-als can buy, sell, and trade shoes at a lower cost. He went on to hire a developer in India, paying him one thousand dollars to develop a cheap app called Kicks Closet, which debuted on the App Store on Feb. 18, 2013. “The app was okay. It was nothing special,” said Enriquez.

That March, Enriquez received an email about his app. A man named Shawn McCarthy wanted to rebuild Kicks Closet to make it even better. “I

never called him until June, when I finally decided that I would hear him out and see what he had to say,” said Enriquez. Ever since the phone call, t he two of them have been talk-ing every other day about re-building t h e ap p and mak-ing it into a c o m -pany. In the begin-n i n g o f August, Enriquez and McCarthy talked with three different American developers. Finally, in mid-October, they picked one.“Shawn and I are going to own the company fifty-fifty. We are investing $20,000 apiece as a

startup cost,” said Enriquez. Their plans for the company are to promote their app through Ameri-can rapper French Montana and professional bas-

ketball player Josh Smith, with whom McCarthy has connections. They are also l ook ing to travel to dif-ferent shoe conventions to promote their compa-ny. “We want [Kicks Clos-et] to become a world-wide name,” stated

Enriquez.Enriquez has a strong past with entrepreneur-

ship, stretching all the way back to sixth grade where he went to Costco and spent twenty dollars

on gum, selling it from his locker and doubling his money.

“By tenth grade, I had my first real entrepre-neurial company. I created CE Custom Kicks, where I took authentic shoes, stripped them down, and custom painted them. I was not making any money from it, so I sold the idea to somebody else,” admitted Enriquez. Then, his junior year, Enriquez saw the need for high end clothing for hockey players. He started Celly Hockey, but it failed within a few months because the high quality clothing was too expensive to make any profits. Finally, Enriquez got into making apps and eBooks. “My first eBook was a smoothie guide. I paid a freelance writer fifty dollars to write it. I then expanded to video game guides. I made tens of thousands of dollars in profit,” claimed Enriquez.

Although many of Enriquez’s ideas have failed in the past, he believes that Kicks Closet is his best idea yet. “The amount of times I had to fail to become successful was all part of the process,” said Enriquez.

Jack Hultstrand, print editor in chief

EHS Senior Brings Tech Startup to NYC

eLearning2 Update

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

While many athletes are heading to our activity office each year to register for sports and clubs, students on Zephyrus are doing the same. The process is the same for every-one - signing a participation pass and paying a $40 fee.

During the 2008-2009 school year, Edina Public Schools decided to go through a budget reduction process. The Edina athletics and ac-tivity fees were approved by the school board shortly after. The fees have stayed steady over the past few years. Many other classes, includ-ing Windigo, DECA, band, and choir also have an installed fee.

According to EHS Assistant Principal/Ath-letic Director Troy Stein, the total expense per school year at Edina is estimated to be about $130,000 for all activities, sports, and fine arts. “I think any time we have to ask students to pay an extra fee to participate, whether it be

a sport or activity, it can be a burden to some families,” said Stein.

The activities fee has gotten mixed re-sponses overall. “The activity fee is beneficial because once it is payed you are fully eligible and allowed to participate in that sport or activ-ity,” said DECA member Claire Butwinick.

“I do not see the need for an activity fee. The total cost spent on the sport/club adds up because you already have to pay for apparel and extra items,” said Windigo member Lauren Christensen.

How exactly does the district use these fees? Overall, the money is used to offset the stipend that the advisors receive annually. Even though some of the fees are for classes, there are more responsibilities for the advisor to tend to outside of school hours.

Mia Hilali, staff writer

Paying for Activities: Where Does the Money Go?

art by Alex Riddle

art by Genevieve Anderegg

The PSAT? Why would you ever want to take a test that you don’t even get credit for? Well, other than getting an idea of how you’ll do on the SAT, it turns out there is another bonus: the chance of scoring high enough to qualify for recognition in the National Merit Scholarship Pro-gram. Out of the 1.5 million students who took the test, sixteen thousand students were selected for the program nationwide, seventeen of them from Edina High School.

The program allows seniors from across the country to compete for part of the 35 million dollars awarded in scholarships. So how did last year’s juniors study for the test? “To prepare for the test, I did College Board’s online SAT prep course (pretty much the same as working through a prep book). I took one practice test and looked at where I made mistakes,” said senior and scholar Daniel Burke. Senior Cristina Ballarini, also a scholar, added, “I prepared for the test by looking through the packet that was given out when I signed up for the test.”

While the National Merit Scholars seemed to be ready for the test, few of them were expecting to do as well as they did. “Right after I took it, I didn’t think I did well enough. Once I got the scores, I was hopeful, though,” said senior, Peter Illig a scholar.

While these students still have work ahead of them to be recognized as finalists, the title of semifinalist is already enough to make colleges take a second look.

Ellie Bender, staff writer

Newswww.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

2Whether it’s North or South, students fill up the EHS parking lots. Parking passes, therefore, are perceived as must for

Edina High School. However, some students are outraged at the increase this year in revoked parking passes and bootings.Passes can be taken away for many reasons: not displaying parking permit, driving in an inappropriate manner, or

being involved in even a minor a hit-and-run. “I didn’t stop long enough at a stop sign,” said junior Ella Lindberg. She had her permit revoked for two weeks.

Lindbergh also pointed out that many other students were caught for the same reason. Students are likewise angry about the fines imposed. “The fines are [imposed] to get [a student’s] boot removed,”

said Assistant Principal Eric Nelson. The fee for removing a boot is $30. The number of student drivers is actually a source of these increases. “The one thing I find more frustrating is when I

started here twelve years ago, there were about 1500 kids. And now we have 2000 kids,” Nelson explained. The increas-ing number of students means more passes given out. With hundreds of student drivers, naturally, there will be more conflict and therefore more passes revoked.

On the other hand, statistically speaking, nothing has been different about parking passes this year. “[The price] was increased about two or three years ago,” said Nelson. This shows that there is no reason to be upset about prices. “We’ve used an immobilization boot…for at least as long as I’ve been here, twelve years,” said Nelson. So these fines have always been here at EHS for some time. “I feel like that’s so fair,” junior Phoebe Cotter commented on the idea of boots. She believes that with the increased drivers, boots could keep everyone in line.

Some EHS students haven’t noticed a difference and feel like having a parking permit has been the same every year. There will always be students who believe the terms for parking passes are too harsh, but for the moment, many EHS students think that the regulations are pretty fair.

On Oct, 16, some Edina High School students got the chance to sleep in and do what they wished until noon. The rest had to get up and go to school to take the PSAT, an optional test for students planning on attending college. The PSAT measures a student’s ability to solve math problems, write, and read critically. It is generally taken by juniors in high school, but Edina High School offers sophomores the option to take it too.

“I’m really glad that I had an opportunity to practice it and see what’s coming,” said sophomore T.J. Barden who took the PSAT this year and plans to take it again his junior year.

The PSAT is a preparatory test for the SAT that tests the same areas as the SAT (critical reading, writing, and math skills) and, like the SAT, is focused around a student’s aptitude rather than their achievement. Unlike the ACT, which requires the taker to recall individual facts, the PSAT and SAT test the use of reasoning by the student using information available in the question (i.e. the math formulas are provided and it is up to the student to apply them).

Edina High School’s National

Merit Scholars

Is the PSAT Worth It?

Parking Pass Restrictions

art by Audrey Sheehy

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

Farhia Osman, staff writer

John Osler, staff writer

New Passion ProjectThis year, the Passion Project that all Edina High School sophomores have to

complete has been slightly altered from last year’s version. “There is a heavier focus [this year] on the action step in which we are asking students to find a way to be active in the community to promote social change,” said Pre-AP English 10 teacher Kari Discher.

“After having run the first Passion Project, we fine-tuned and reprioritized the end product. Last year we had no idea how things would end,” explained Discher. Some things are going to remain the same, such as the EPAC research lectures and the Passion Project Fair. However, this year, students had to pitch an idea at the beginning of the year on the significance of a topic and why it was chosen. As well, the action portion of the project will be emphasized.

Many sophomores have interesting Passion Project topics, from sophomore Brianna Stringfield’s research on compulsive hoarding to sophomore Julia Schil-ler’s project on impaired driving. “I turned on the TV a couple years ago and hoarders was on and I just watched it all day. Before that I was always labeled a ‘clean freak’ by friends and family and when I don’t use stuff for a while I throw it away, so it interests me that hoarders keep random and useless things for decades,” said Schiller.

Many sophomores have been thinking about the action component of their project.“I’m planning on getting involved in a volunteer program,” said Schiller.

Perry Bruder, news editor

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

National Merit Semifinalists Peter Illig and Cristina

Ballarini, thinking deep thoughts.

Competitive Pokemon Club, I choose you! This year, the Competitive Pokemon Club, kick started by senior Sohrob Benvidi, was officially sanctioned by Edina High School. According to the official Pokemon website, in case you are unfamiliar, “Pokémon are creatures of all shapes and sizes who live in the wild alongside humans. Pokémon are raised and commended by their owners (called “Train-ers”). During their adventures, Pokémon grow and become more experienced and even, on occasion, evolve into stronger Pokémon.”

The Pokemon Club focuses on the competitive aspect of Pokemon, which is played on the Nintendo 3DS and other Nintendo consoles, and helps the club members prepare for Pokemon tourna-ments. “Pokemon is not just a kid’s game, there are actual tournaments throughout the world and they compete for actual prize money and trophies,” Benvidi said.

During meetings the members go over strategies to improve their edge in battle, effectively train their Pokemon, and cover main points in the game. “We are planning on bringing in laptops in order to research different Pokemon training techniques and game tips,” said senior Nick Basset. However, Pokemon isn’t all serious “its not all about competitiveness, we actually get to have fun and talk about what we like about Pokemon,” said Benvidi.

Currently, the Competitive Pokemon Club consists of seven members, but it is constantly grow-ing. The meetings are often on Fridays after school, but scheduling can be inconsistent, so it is best to listen to the announcements for meeting dates or talk to current members if you “gotta catch’em all.”

Matt Dulas, features editor

Since Thanksgiving is one of the most widely celebrated holidays in the United States, there ought to be some curveballs when it comes to the ways people celebrate. Instead of the typical turkey, Macy’s Thanks-giving Day Parade, and football game, some people have started their own traditions as they reunite with family.

1. Some families have branched away from the tra-dition of shopping for the biggest turkey in the grocery store by hunting down their Thanksgiving main dish in the woods.

2. A turkey tradition for one family: cut one leg off the turkey and throw it into the woods for good luck.

3. One not-so-uncommon but still strange tradition is the Turducken - a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey.

4. Other families choose to go way off of the traditional turkey dinner as they gather around a bowl of boiled pig intestines, a Southern dish known as “chitlins.”

5. Eating Mexican or Chinese food the night before Thanksgiving has become a tradition for many families. Teacher Administrative Assistant Allison Du Chateau’s family enjoys pasta or stir-fry.

Weird Thanksgiving traditions don’t just revolve around strange food. In some families, the weirdness comes from what they do when they aren’t feasting.

1. In sophomore Sarah Stefanik’s family, “The chef who prepares the dinner must wear a stuffed turkey hat while preparing and eating the turkey.”

2. Another fun but different tradition is mud sliding, where a family sprays water on a hill, dresses in trash bags and slides down a muddy hill.

3. Last but not least is the tradition people partake in the day after Thanksgiving. Known as Black Friday, eager shoppers camp outside of stores in hopes of getting the best deals on just about anything. “I go the night before at midnight so I can get Christmas gifts at a low price,” said junior Drew Davis. After waiting for hours on end, the shop doors open and the mad rush of shoppers begins.

Marissa Nelson, staff writer

Features 36754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439 November 15, 2013 Volume 34 Issue 2 www.edinazephyrus.com

Scenario 1: You drop your pencil on the ground. It rolls way out of reach, right under the desk of the hottie with a body you’ve been eyeing.

Solution: Smile shyly, bat your eyelashes, and blush a little bit. You’ll take their breath away and now you’re totally on their radar. Awkward? I think not.

Make it weirder: Take it up a notch. Lick your teeth, flip your hair, wink, blow a kiss, and then ask them to pick it up for you in a slow whisper.

Scenario 2: Aaaah! The school hallways are crazy. While walking, you run into someone.

Solution: Make quick eye contact, apologize, then maybe throw in an awkward laugh for style points.

Make it weirder: Embrace this significant other. Maybe love just hit you full force. Bursting into song while hugging could be an unexpected twist.

Scenario 3: Running into an ex with their new boyfriend/girlfriend.Solution: Can you say round of high fives? Neutral greeting. Then get out

of there as fast as you can. Scenario 4: Wearing the same outfit as another human.Solution: Turn your shirt inside out and wear it backwards. It’ll be a

fashion statement.Make it weirder: Draw attention to the situation and complain the whole

day. Make sure the other person knows that you know, and you’re annoyed. Share the news during announcements.

Scenario 5: Seeing a teacher someplace other than school. Solution: Eyes glued to the ground. Eyes. Glued. To. The. Ground. Or you

could wave and be civil, maybe even say hello. Start a conversation. Make it weirder: Run away as fast as you possibly can. The mathematical

probability of you knocking over everything in your path is more than 100%. Perfect, because then you’ll end up drawing more attention to yourself. Now, your teacher will forever hate you for trying to avoid him/her.

Scenario 6: For whatever reason, you have to walk into class late. Solution: If it’s appropriate, hand the teacher your pass. Maybe apologize.

Make a beeline to your seat. Make it weirder: Fling open the door. Do the moonwalk, robot, running

man - anything. Tap into your “dance moves” inventory. Pull a Troy Bolton on the world.

Scenario 7: You have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.Solution: Pretend it’s a critical piece to a Halloween costume from fifty

years ago. Call it vintage and say you got it for $5 and no one will question it. Make it weirder: Stanky leg to showcase that strong cotton blend of fibers

like you own the place until everyone leaves. Scenario 8: Someone’s fly is down…it’s yours.Solution: When a Good Samaritan politely informs you by way of “XYZ,”

“Hey, uh, your barn door is open,” or “Pssss, your zipper. Your zipper,” you could smile politely and say thank you while fixing the problem as casually as possible.

Make it weirder: Take off your pants. Problem solved. Sara Aydinalp, in-depth editor

Awko Taco

photo by Bridgit Loeffelholz

Turked-up Turkey Traditions

Club

art by Sophie Cannonart by G

enevieve Anderegg

Features

“Nerd” may have been an insult in the past, but now that coveted title is proudly held by some of the most advanced students that we have the pleasure of passing in the halls of Edina High School.

Titles like UMTYMP*, GTCYS**, and anything that begins with an AP would make anyones head ache, but for these students this is everyday life, and they love it!

Sophomore Riley Christianson is taking two AP classes and an advanced Latin class and loves the challenge.“I love being challenged at school during my classes as well as after school. Each of my classes chal-lenge me in their own way; whether it’s homework load, tough concepts, or memorization.” said Christianson.

“It’s not a matter of if I’m challenged but rather if I’m having fun. And let me tell you, I would say it’s a blast and a half,” said sophomore Nicholas DeBoom

While taking advanced classes and having a social life can be challenging, sophomore Olivia Chen thinks otherwise. “I don’t want to take too many hard classes and be overwhelmed,” Chen said. Chen still finds time to enjoy TV and naps.“I’m on math team for the food, and this is my first year doing Model UN,” she said. Chris-tianson agrees that finding time to do things other than

school is tough. She balances her classes with horseback riding lessons, Latin Club, FCA Club, tutoring other students, and Edina Equestrian Team. “Extra time? I think I’ve forgotten what that is...” Christianson said.

With only about fifteen years under their belts and only two of those in high school, these sophomores have accomplished a lot more than your average stu-dent. Both Chen and Christianson have already taken and passed AP exams and Christianson has lettered in community service.

Those students have words of wisdom to impact. “Start out early. Time goes by fast and you might miss a cool opportunity to try something new,” said chen. Christianson agreed, adding, “school doesn’t last for-ever, and the decisions you make throug high school will shape your future! Many times I ask myself why I work so hard or push myself to strive higher, but I always remember that the time I spend working hard now will be time that won’t have to be spent working hard later in life!” “If you need help with math, just know you’re not alone: 5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions,” DeBoom joked.

Sophie Cannon, staff writer

We all have an image in our head when it comes to the military: camo pants, drill sergeants, and fierce men and women running gun drills. The decision to serve includes all of this and more.

Two students, seniors Sophia Reyes and Leslie Michelle Baca know exactly what this includes. These two wonder-women have been employed by the US military in the Army Reserves. Working three days a month and getting paid, these young women are fully trained to be shipped out at any minute.

“We do weapon qualifications and a lot of physical training. You get tested on that... I’m a chemical specialist. You learn how to decontaminate things,” said Baca.

For Reyes, it was an easy decision to join. “I've always known that it was what I wanted to do and that I wanted a career in the government, military, or law enforcement,” she said.

Baca, on the other hand, made more of a rash decision. “It was something I’ve always wanted to do, but something I never really had any intention of doing. It wasn’t until February when Sophia came up to me... Next thing you know, I’m in.”

Training was brutal. Starting off at a stage called reception, the girls were checked in, given multiple shots at once, and examined for physical health. Then, after a week, they shipped off to basic training. The bus ride there offered no rest. A drill sergeant forced the girls to stay silent and have their heads down the whole way. A raised head would result in shouts from the sergeant. Training consisted of physical training from sun-up to sunset. They only got about three hours of sleep a night. The girls were also trained in weapon handling, and are now able to carry and operate them.

Their parents were very supportive of their decision to enlist. “My dad was pretty good with my decision. He was in law enforcement so he understood why I wanted to enlist,” said Reyes. Baca’s parents were surprised at first, but were likewise supportive.

At first it was interesting seeing the reactions of their peers at school. “Some people asked me if my uniform was a costume. I really am in the military,” said Baca. Yet, overall, their decision is respected. “I do hope people see me as [a] leader and a role model,” said Reyes.

Patricia Leach, feautures editor

As the school year begins to swing into gear, so do Edina High School’s various clubs and extracurricular activities. Many of these programs are student-run. Most people would expect seniors to get the highest roles in these “job” openings, but in a few cases, juniors take the role. Should leading a group be only for our elders at Edina?

This year in band, junior Jack Campbell is a Drum Major, a role traditionally held by seniors. Campbell has been very committed and enthusiastic about band, so it was no surprise this spring when he was given a whistle instead of an instrument.

Despite his talents and leadership, many senior band members feel they would also be suitable for the task. “It might be hard for other candidates who are seniors this year to be essentially replaced by Jack,” said senior Ken Shimizu. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that some seniors may be disgruntled that an underclassman has taken away a prestigious rank thought to be a privilege of seniority.

Despite this, there’s still plenty of support for Campbell. “He was the right person to pick because he demonstrated... leadership and lots of people like him,” commented Shimizu.

Similarly, juniors Matt Woolsey and Anne Engen were made DECA officers this past year, a position typically reserved for seniors. Seniors are taking it in stride and accepting changes rather than being disappointed. “I wasn’t mad a junior got it over me. We wouldn’t have reacted any differently if it was a senior,” commented senior Haley Beddor.

When a junior is put in charge, seniors have the option to be disappointed or to react positively. It seems like the culture at EHS is very positive and welcoming to junior leadership, although that may not always be the case. Whether you think juniors being leaders over seniors is acceptable or not, let your opinions be heard in your clubs, activities, or classes.

Noah Chestler, staff writer

When Underclassmen Take Control

Salute to Our Student Soldiers EHS

Nicholas DeBoom

Riley Christianson

Sophia Reyes

4

Olivia Chen

photos by Bridgit LoeffelholzLeslie Michelle Baca

art by Cici Holmquist

Prodigies

*UMTYMP = University of Minnesota Talented Youth Mathematics Program

**GTCYS = Greater Twin Cities Youth Symphonies

Undercover

photos by Bridgit Loeffelholz

www.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

Sports 56754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439 November 15, 2013 Volume 34 Issue 2 www.edinazephyrus.com

For those of you wondering what supplements and multivitamins to take to suc-cessfully help rapid muscle growth, make sure to be cautious about what and how much you take. Don’t forget to consider some potential allergies that you may have, and lose the mindset that more is better. In fact, when it comes to multivitamins, being precise is the best.

“Back when I was a coach at Augsburg College, we had an athlete that passed away, a wrestler that was heavy into creatine, had a plastic suit on and went into the sauna… and lost his life because the combination of the suit, sauna, and too much creatine,” recounted Reed Boltmann, Edina’s head football coach and strength and conditioning teacher. “The body just shut down because it was too dehydrated to function,” Boltmann concluded.

Creatine is a supplement that, when used as part of a strength program, can produce great gains in lean muscle tissue for the user. Many athletes use the supplement, and it’s especially useful for vegetarians, because creatine is usually found in meat and dairy products. Although creatine sounds great, Boltmann thinks otherwise. “In my professional opinion, I would recommend not taking creatine,” said Boltmann, “If athletes are able to eat all of the food groups, I don’t believe that you need creatine.” But creatine is not the only supplement athletes use. There are also old-fashioned protein powders. Whey protein is an easily digestible, portable, and effective foundation for any supplement program and a must for anyone seeking gains in lean muscle mass.

While these supplements help with muscle growth, that department of athletics doesn’t apply to all athletes. Is there a way to evade those terrible side aches during a run? For a lot of athletes, what to eat before and after a workout is a real dilemma. What foods will give you the maximum energy before and give the maximum amount of replenishment after?

When it comes to weight lifting, eat thirty to sixty minutes prior to working out to ensure that your body has the fuel to get through the workout, but when it comes to running, eating two to three hours before is ideal. According to the Edina Football Spring and Summer Manual and Fitness Magazine, here are two snack suggestions for success.

Whole wheat peanut butter toast with sliced bananas and a dash of cinnamon is a perfect combination of simple and complex carbohydrates. The peanut butter is a good source of protein, and the fruit adds an extra boost of energy. It may sound silly to add cinnamon, but the spice is linked with stabilizing blood sugar, so it doesn’t make or break the snack, but is certainly worth the trouble.

The latest post-workout phenomenon is simply chocolate milk. It is thought to be even better after a workout than water and sports drinks. In fact, it’s the Swiss Army Knife of drinks. The milk has water content, so it replenishes the fluids lost during your strenuous exercise, and protein and carbohydrates for muscle recovery. Don’t forget the calcium, sodium, and sugar it provides, which all help you recover faster and regain energy. If all that wasn’t enough, it tastes good too.

Erik Lindquist, staff writer

Ah, the weight room. To a man endowed with muscles, it must be a veritable Wonder-land – a place to simultaneously show off, get stronger, and listen to glam metal. Alas, to those of us upon whom Nature gifted naught but bone and cartilage, that room of wonder becomes something altogether more sinister, a sort of carnival of the damned filled with out-of-date inspirational quotes and husky, mocking laughter. I’d call it hellish, but Hell probably smells better.

But I’ve had to venture forth into this dungeon of Guns-‘n’-Roses-fueled hedonism many a time, and I’ve lived to see the world anew. It’s been hard, but here are some coping mechanisms I’ve meticulously developed for next time you, my wimpy brethren, have to enter the weight room:

Ignore the football players: If I’ve learned anything from the advice that football players shout at me (i.e.: “Come on, Osler! You should be doing at least 20 more pounds!”) constantly in the weight room, it’s this: don’t talk to the football players. You will not meet their standards. Ever. If possible, go to the weight room at a time when football players are not present or create a distraction to keep them out of the weight room (pointing to a blank wall and loudly exclaiming “Hey guys! Look over there!” usually affords one three to four hours of football-player-free time).

Grunt: While no research has proven that grunting improves workouts, it is a well-established fact that making loud guttural noises while lifting weights creates the impression that you are working hard. Psychologically speaking, people are just less likely to look at the actual amount of weight you’re lifting if they hear you making warthog noises as you lift it.

Avoid free weights at all costs: This is not a joke. If you are a wimp, you should not traverse the free-weight section of the weight room. You will not know how anything works, and soon, it will seem like the mocking laughter surrounding you comes not from non-wimps, but from the very void that you wish would just embrace you and end this cruel joke you call existence.

Make stuff up: This is pretty good all-purpose advice, but it’s especially relevant in the weight room. There are enough workouts ‘n’ such out there already that nobody will be able to tell the difference. For instance:

Non-Wimp: “Hey, dude, what’s that manic flailing thing you’re doing? Do you need, like, medical attention or something?”

Wimp (You): “No, man. It’s X-37. Blasts your trapezoidals and agonizes your AZF. It’s new. Don’t know if you would have heard of it.”

Non-Wimp: “Nah, man. I think I heard something about that. Rock on!” [fist bump between Wimp (You) and Non-Wimp]See how easy that is?Never, ever, ever reveal the weight you’re lifting: This is the key to wimpy success

in the hostile weight-room environment – the amount of weight you’re lifting is between you and your therapist. If some jerk thinks he has a right to know, though, just say you’re on a “strength protocol” and need to do some “adjusted tension” at the moment. That usually works.

Micah Osler, copy editor

A Wimp’s Guide to the Weightroom

Pump the Jam Dietary GuideWhether someone jogs by you wearing earbuds, or you spot your next door

neighbor Ron playing a Nickelback CD on full blast while he does sit-ups on the ratty old yoga mat in his garage, you might have noticed a correlation between people exercising and music. In fact, people have used music to enhance exercise since at least 3000 B.C.E, when rowers on the Roman galley ships would engage in chants. Costas Karageorghis, Ph.D., from London’s Brunel University School of Sport and Education, a leading authority on music and exercise, identifies three ways music could influence a workout.

For starters, it could force your brain to work harder or faster, based on the natural wiring of your brain and how it synchronizes with tempo. A fast tempo could make you go a little faster than you would normally, so the rowers on a Roman galley would row faster with seemingly less effort with a chant.

Secondly, music has the potential to increase the motivation to move. This is why you may see an athlete listening to music before a sporting event. It can bring a natural energy and motivation to an individual and make them want to get active, or “pump them up.” It also can change feelings of sluggishness and laziness to a desire to move. If a rower wasn’t feeling the whole monotonous back and forth thing, a chant could liven him up and provide motivation.

Finally, music can function as a distraction from the physical effort or pain associated with exercise. Strengthening muscles is not easy, pain-free work. It can be hard to bring yourself to your physical limit without proper distraction. Chanting could distract a rower from the blisters on his hands and the cramps in his back.

So how do Edina High School students feel about incorporating music into their workout? “Working out with music makes it a more emotional experi-ence. Without music I feel lost within my workout because the emotions and extra energy aren’t there...Music during a workout turns me into an animal that can’t be tamed,” explained senior football captain and weightlifting aficionado Jack Dummer.

All different types of music are good to listen to while exercising. It doesn’t necessarily need to be upbeat, although that can help. It can be something personal that motivates you. “I listen to everything from bluegrass to a little bit of rap,” explained varsity offensive lineman sophomore Dan James. “I would recommend others find a good playlist to listen to when they work out so they can knock out their workout quickly and with great emotion,” added Dummer.

Tanner Sparrow, sports editor

art by Audrey Sheehy

art by Sophie Cannon

Opinionwww.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

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Zephyrus Staffprint editor in chief: Jack Hultstrand online editor in chief: Clare Ling copy editor: Micah Osler art editor: Sarah Nealon managing editor: Hannah Sommerville

advertising manager: Will Hagens online page editor: Hannah Sommerville news editors: Drew Davis, Perry Bruder features editors: Matt Dulas, Patricia Leach sports editor: Tanner Sparrow in-depth editor: Sarah Aydinalp opinion editors: Bess Pearson, Jackson Van Dyke culture editors: Matt Woolsey, Alexi Diem back page editors: Jack Hultstrand, Clare Ling, Micah Osler, Sarah Nealon, Hannah Sommerville, Matt Dulas staff writers: Adair Andre, Ellie Bender, Sophie Cannon, Noah Chestler, Will Hagens, Mia Hilali, Megan Hussey, Hannah Kloos, Chiara Kohlmayr, Emily Kraft, Erik Lindquist, Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, John Osler, Farhia Os-man, Audrey Sheehy, Griffin Thompson head photographer: Bridgit Loeffelholz photographers/artists: Genevieve Anderegg, Sarah Aulik, Sophie Cannon, Oliva Chen, Zoe Gunderson, Lydia Gutowsky, Cici Holmquist, Martina Horns, Jessica Lin, Katie Manderfeld, Jamie Mustful, Alex Riddle, Casey Robinson, Audrey Sheehy, Jessica Smith, Annika Smith-Ortiz, Ellie Weir, Emma Westbrook graphic designer: Katie Manderfeld advisor: Elizabeth Barniskis

Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advi-sor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity. Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

Your phone died. You’re too far away from the remote to change the channel. You accidentally liked a stranger’s picture on Facebook. All of these have one thing in common; they are much better than finding cilantro on your plate.

Picture this: you’re at a restaurant after a long day of school and you’re so excited to experience the magic of food. Then the waiter comes with your plate. One glance at your plate changes ev-erything when you notice that Satan in the form of an herb is in your dish. Cilantro is a horrible,

horrible thing that should not exist in this world. The repulsiveness that is cilantro exists in

many different forms. Just touching it sends a feeling of disgust up my spine, and it’s even dif-ficult to look at.

My biggest question is why cilantro was cre-ated in the first place. I have a theory that cilantro was the herb that got bullied by other herbs like basil and parsley. They all shunned cilantro, so cilantro decided to channel its fury towards the human race. This is precisely why anti-bullying

campaigns must exist in the people world. A myth is being spread that whether if some-

one likes cilantro or not depends on a gene that exists or not. This is simply not correct. The words “like” and “cilantro” do not belong in the same sentence. The real story is that cilantro actually brainwashes many people into thinking it tastes good so it can maintain a decent reputation among the herbs.

Cilantro can answer all of our questions about what’s wrong in the world. Why did our govern-

ment shut down? Cilantro. Why does Miley Cyrus twerk so much? Cilantro. Why do bad things happen to good people? Cilantro.

If you feel as I do, join me in taking action against this horrible herb. Call your senator. Send letters to the president. Anything can help. We must take action for the abolishment of cilantro or suffer the consequences forever.

Drew Davis, news editor

Cilantro: It Must End

I won’t go so far as to say that television is destroying our society, but I can’t say that any part of my ideology supports the sitcom. From taking serious real life problems and magically shrinking them into comedic thirty minute hurdles to perpetuating images that shape the develop-ment of children, sitcoms are certainly less than perfect. One seems to stick out to me-”The Big Bang Theory.”

A show focusing on the sometimes pathetic and occasionally self-righteous lives of a group of scientists doesn’t seem threatening, but “The Big Bang Theory” is much more than that. Not only

are these guys scientists, but they can’t handle their emotions, don’t know how to function in society, and seem to have one goal: to find a girl. And these girls are either attractive or smart - never both.

This shows us something interesting about “The Big Bang Theory.” It portrays women who either, as the protagonist Sheldon makes incred-ibly clear, get through their life by selling their bodies, or women who don’t shave their legs,

don’t wear makeup, leave their hair as it is upon waking up, and also happen to be smart. I think this portrays a damaging image of women to view-ers. Not only is physical beauty the only thing the men are after, but when you don’t have it, you’re apparently a laughingstock. This show laughs with smart men and laughs at smart women. And when these smart women try to participate in the male activities, they are rudely excluded and sent to go try to awkwardly turn into one of the other girls. Every action made by a girl in the entire show is to please a man. For instance, in “The Higgs Boson Observation,” in which Amy Farrah Fowler becomes jealous of Sheldon’s assistant. The entire episode is founded on the idea that women are to fight over men, and assistants are obviously going to end up being romantic, maybe even sexual. Women in the show don’t act to help their career, or towards self-improvement, but to please society, and the men that “dominate” it. We see the same thing in “The Vacation Solution.” Howard can’t stand the fact that his wife is suc-cessful. HIs anger is such that he all but refuses to sign a prenuptial agreement. Why must the man be the dominant member of the relationship?

“The Big Bang Theory” might provide a few laughs at the awkward Sheldon or the perverted Howard, but that means nothing about its impact on society. Laughing at pretty women’s attempts at learning (because they “have” to be dumb), smart women’s attempts at being pretty (because they “have” to be ugly), and both of their at-tempts to please men, does nothing but destroy our societal view of women.

Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor

Misogyny in the Big Bang TheoryI’ve seen the average high school girl’s fall/

winter uniform and it’s not pretty. You’re prob-ably saying, “But, Bess! It can’t be worse than the revealing spring/summer clothing you described in your last article.” You are so wrong. I have one word for you: leggings. Yes, so many poor, poor, misguided girls are under the impression that leggings are a viable substitute for pants. Newsflash: they’re not. Leggings have never been and never will be pants.

My passionate stance against leggings drew a surprisingly visceral reaction from much of the student population. Yes, boys, we know you love that tight, body-hugging, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination fabric that girls use as an excuse for an acceptable bottom. And girls, somehow you think they look…good? That is why I am here to dispel these gross misconceptions.

When I brought up my desire to write this article, an army of legging-loving girls took up arms against me without hesitation. “Yes they are pants,” or “Why would you even say that?” they exclaimed. Well, here’s why: leggings are not pants. I’m not sure I can put that more plainly. There are no two ways about this. If they were pants, they would be called as such.

Let’s take into account an observation: upon entering three separate stores (Target, Nordstrom, and Forever 21) guess where I found the leg-gings? For all of you sad people who instantly thought “by the pants, of course!” : think again. They were by the underwear. Yes, even America’s largest retail corporations agree with me on this one – leggings are not pants; they are, more ac-curately, an undergarment. And, the essence of

an undergarment is that it is worn under clothing. I’m all for taking fashion risks, but when you

cross over the clearly marked line between ap-propriate and inappropriate, it’s no longer okay. Would you wear underwear with nothing else on the bottom out into the masses? Would you wear a bra instead of a shirt? I’m hoping you said no (but for all of you brave souls who answered “yes” to the previous questions – more power to you and your overexposed epidermis). So if you wouldn’t wear those undergarments in public, what makes you think it’s okay to wear leggings?

And on the subject of running tights: if you’re not running, why would you wear them? Would you wear football shoulder pads to school? Hockey pants? Bowling shoes? Running tights are acceptable when one is running, but that is it – if you wear them when you are not running, you aren’t fooling anyone. It’s an offense as bad as wearing leggings.

I’m positive that this article has made you reevaluate your life – I mean, it seems to be groundbreaking news to much of the population. If it has – a great alternative to leggings is – gasp - pants. What’s amazing is that pants come in such a wide variety of materials, colors, and styles. Still hung up on your bland black leggings (this includes yoga pants, ladies – if you’re not doing yoga you have no excuse to wear them)? Wear it with a skirt, a dress, or a long tunic.

The road to recovery is a hard one, but when you trade in your unflatteringly tight leggings for something more appropriate, you’ll be so glad you did.

Bess Pearson, opinion editor

Leggings: Not Pants

The sound of the bell resonates through the entire building, and the last ring has not even sounded when already half the class is outside, moseying down Edina High School’s maze of hallways. Jamming my books into my bag, I take a quick peek at my watch. Seven minutes ticking down, enough time to make my way to my next period without having to run at marathon speeds.

Per usual, the river of students flows at a steady pace. And then it hits me. Literally. Right there, in the middle of the hallway during the busiest time of the day, a single student (or even worse, a clan) decides to halt their journey to the

classroom for no visible reason. My question to them: Why?!Nothing is worse than walking behind some-

one when out of the blue they stop, causing a head on collision between a binder filled backpack and a student’s skull. Of course, it doesn’t stop there. The domino effect is all too common in crowded passages, and what follows is a long line of stumbling students, all desperately trying not to fall on top of the person in front.

And then there’s talking. Of course, passing time is one of the only times to socialize with friends, and there is nothing wrong with shar-

ing a quick story or updating one another on the latest gossip. In fact, this is highly encouraged. However, why do people have to stop right there in the center of traffic? Swerving to get out of the way of talkers is very inconvenient and almost always results in additional crashes. If multitask-ing is too difficult, pull over to the side and talk against the wall.

As for the shoelace tiers, hopefully it’s evident that suddenly crouching down in the center of the crowd isn’t the best of ideas. As much fun as it sounds, leapfrogging over oblivious students concentrating on tying the perfect butterfly knot

does become irritating and tiresome. Moving over to the wall is undoubtedly much safer for everyone.

So please, students, teachers, even visitors, keep in mind that most people have a common goal during passing time – to get to class on time in one piece. Show some courtesy and avoid creat-ing human traffic jams. Last time I checked, our hallways weren’t supposed to be obstacle courses designed to test our swerving abilities.

Chiara Kohlmayr, staff writerFor more hallway etiquette go to edinazephyrus.com

Stop Stopping in the Hallway

art by Audrey Sheehy

photo c/o CBS

Opinion 96754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439 November 15, 2013 Volume 34 Issue 2 www.edinazephyrus.com

I’d be lying if I said I don’t judge every person I see, and I can honestly say that I have no regrets about this. What’s the problem with forming opinions? I certainly don’t see one. As long as you base them off of actual facts, it’s all fair game. This brings me, of course, to Uggs.

In case you’re unsure about the subject, I’ll clarify. Uggs are ugly looking “sheepskin” boots, and infinitely less than a necessity. Unfortunately, they’ve become so much more than that: an ugly brownish slipper that has essentially become the only route to popularity or cultural acceptance. At up to $200 a pair, they’re obviously making a handsome profit, especially with demand this high.

Have you ever heard of the story of the Emperor’s new clothes? If not, it goes like this: some emperor hires a few scam artists to make him clothes. Being scam artists, they didn’t actually make clothes, and sent the Emperor outside naked, telling everyone if they didn’t see the clothes they must be stupid. One person decided “hey I don’t want to seem stupid,” and pretended they saw the clothes, thus making everyone choose between being “stupid” and walking around naked. In the end, it takes the innocence of a child to rat out the thieves and embarrass all the adults.

Now I pride myself in being very child-like and hope to serve as the child in this metaphor. Those Uggs don’t exist, or at least their $200 value doesn’t. What do exist are comfort, and free-will. So if you have cold uncomfortable winter feet, buy slippers. If you don’t, then don’t. And certainly don’t buy an overpriced pair of shoes just for social acceptance.

Jackson Van Dyke, opinion editor

Uggs

SNLI have been watching “Saturday Night

Live” with my family for almost as long as I can remember (if I only remembered back to when I was 12, anyway). Although when I was younger I didn’t understand a lot of the jokes, I always found the episodes hosted by my favorite tween stars to be hilarious. My gullible, twelve-year old self didn’t realize that there was actually a small number of people in costumes as opposed to a new person playing

each character, so I was mostly focused on who was hosting. My favorites included (and still include) Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner, and Miley Cyrus (back in the Hannah Montana days). I would watch episodes with adult ac-tors and I soon discovered that the jokes and skits of the show really did correlate with the age of the host.

While some people complain that the show lost character after the recent departure of

popular cast members Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis, or that the skits have become too repetitive, I think that the choice of host is definitely the biggest factor in SNL’s downfall. Case in point: a fresh-out-of-rehab Lindsay Lohan very clearly mumbling off the teleprompters you could almost see reflected in her eyes, not to mention a slew of singers whose only acting experience was in their middle school musical. I think we can all

agree that the show is getting too predictable, but people are afraid of change. Branch out and give the people what they want.

So SNL, if you want to get my viewer-ship, start getting some better hosts. I’m not talking Disney stars or Oscar-winning actors, I’m talking the ones people really want to see: Kristen Stewart, Dick Cheney, Ryan from High School Musical, or a holographic Tupac.

Ellie Bender, staff writer

What would an Edina High School student do with an extra $5? “I would probably buy Starbucks,” said junior Abby Fischer. Senior Nate Johnson said he would “go to the DeCafe and spend it,” while senior Brian Laney re-marked, “I would put it in my bank account.”

These answers are not uncommon. In fact, when Zephyrus asked a random group of ten EHS students what they would do with the extra cash, six of them said they would buy either a Starbucks or Caribou drink, while four claimed they would deposit the money into a savings account of some sort.

While none of these are bad answers, I might suggest an alternative: donate it. With a population of approximately seven billion human beings, Planet Earth has no shortage of

people in need. In fact, according to DoSome-thing.org, roughly half that number is living on less than $2.50 a day, and one billion are children living in poverty. To top it off, 870 million people around the world do not have enough to eat. To put it in perspective, that number’s almost triple the number of people living in the US.

Think that $5 won’t change any of this? Just take a look at the Against Malaria Foun-dation - donating just $3 can buy a net for a young child to protect them against malaria, a preventable disease that still causes over one million deaths per year. Check out Wa-terIsLife.com, WorldVision.com, or Unicef.org for other ideas.

So the next time you’re walking around

with a few extra bills, I challenge you to reconsider splurging on that Vanilla Bean Frappuccino from Starbucks and instead think about giving it to someone who really needs it. Think about it this way: consider the hap-piness you get from one nonfat iced latte, and then compare that to the happiness another person might get after receiving a mosquito net that could potentially save their child’s life. The difference is almost immeasurable. Another easy solution? Start a coin jar and devote the proceeds to your favorite cause, whether it be saving the endangered Borneo Pygmy Elephant or providing clean water to Syrian refugees. Whatever your final choice is, you can feel good knowing that it’s making a difference in someone else’s life.

GoingDownhill?

Recently I listened on the radio to the sad-dest orchestra concert I’ve ever heard. As Maestro Osmo Vanska gave a final speech, I teared up. As I heard feet shuffling and muffled sobs ring through the radio after the encore, which received no applause at Osmo’s request, I felt the pain that many Minnesota Orchestra fans felt.

The Minnesota Orchestra has been locked out for over a year due to a labor dispute. Because revenues have been dropping for some time, the board of directors changed the musicians’ contract so that their salaries would decrease over three years. There are several options with initial cuts as high as 8%. There was a $20,000 bonus offered in one contract.

While I understand that this may be a necessary step, I believe the pay cuts should be done more gradually. It is true that musi-cians of the same caliber in Europe make about half as much as Minnesota Orchestra musicians, but suddenly cutting the income of these musicians is unfair. They have families, mortgages, and bills to pay like the rest of us. In addition, they have instrument costs. As a violinist, I can attest to the fact that a nice instrument doesn’t come cheap.

As the dispute has dragged on, Vanska announced that he would resign as music director on Oct. 1, 2013 if the conflict led the orchestra’s chance to play at New York’s Carnegie Hall to be cancelled. When October came, he stayed true to his word and resigned.

I found myself sitting next to my radio during his final concert, something I’ve never done before, because I understood how his-toric it would be. Not only would it be some of the best orchestra music there is, but I knew it could be the last time this great orchestra would play together. In fact, rather than titling themselves “the Minnesota Orchestra,” they called themselves “the Musicians of the Min-nesota Orchestra.”

After the orchestra played Stravinsky’s “Firebird,” Vanska picked up the microphone to give a speech. He spoke of the tragedy of the situation, then described the sad story be-hind the Sibelius piece they played

as an encore. Then to my surprise, he asked the audience not to applaud at the end of the piece. He believed that this was no occasion for clapping, as it was a sad moment in a tragic situation.

I tried to put myself in the place of the board of directors. I tried to remove myself from the emotional side of the concert and understand the business side of the dispute. Yet every time I do so, all I can think of is the shuffling of feet replacing the applause that the encore deserved. My hope is that someday soon the Minnesota Orchestra can play under their own name and replace the sound of sad, shuffling feet with thunderous applause.

Hannah Sommerville, managing editor

Give Me Music or Give Me Death

art by Jackson Van Dyke

Make Change with Change

Culturewww.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

10Eyes on the FutureThe time has finally come for one cliché of the future to come to life. Wearable computers are hitting the mar-

ket, and soon everyone can look like Geordi La Forge from “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” wearing high tech computers… on their face. Better yet, you can go more along the Dick Tracy route with a smart watch, allowing for pure stealth communication at all times.

“I can’t wait for Google Glass!” said Edina High School Principal Dr. Bruce Locklear. As these technologies start to pop up at Edina High School, we will see if that enthusiasm is

shared by the student populace. The Samsung Galaxy Gear (released Sept. 25) is a watch that hooks up to a Samsung

smartphone and allows the user to take calls and receive texts. On the La Forge end of the spectrum, the increasingly hyped Google Glass (set for release some time next year) has many smartphone-esque features in a pair of eyewear.

The Galaxy Gear smart watch should blend seamlessly into Edina High School culture. After all, it has the look and feel of a classic watch, and the computer face will definitely warrant attention (hopefully compliments). It is a simple accessory that attracts just enough gawking to make you feel undoubtabley popular.

As far as functionality goes, there are some concerns. First are the phone calls. Sure, you look like a spy, and you probably feel pretty awesome w h i l e y o u are secretly talking

to your mom about how you failed your biology test, but nobody else is going to look at you and see James Bond slip-ping through the Commons. Another proposed benefit is quick access to messages and tweets, which is nice, but seriously, your phone is a solid foot away in your pocket. It does create a better ploy for checking messages while the teacher is talking: instead of sneakily looking at your crotch, you look sneakily at your wrist, which is much less obvious and a whole lot less awkward.

With Glass, well, what is there to say? Take away the com-puter and you are wearing a pair of wire framed glasses with no lenses. Add the computer and you have a huge plastic bar wrapping around half of your head.

Using Glass in school is where these gadgets begin to prove useful. With the video feature, you could easily take in class video to supplement your notes or Skype a friend that’s sick so he or she can see what you see in the classes they’re missing. On top of that, this even beats out the smart watch in sneaky message-checking, as you can check your phone and be staring right at the teacher at the same time. Brilliant.

Past the initial fear of peer rejection, the technology-forward student now faces district policy. How will the administration view these discrete computers? Dr. Locklear (who currently wears Nike’s version of a smart watch) believes that as long as we “move technology from toy to tool,” the school can support student use of technological enhancements. Besides his own personal interest in technology, he has good reason to be excited. There is no way to know what this new era of wearable technology may have in store for EHS. “We are just scratching the surface of what [technology] can do, as opposed to what it should do,” continued Dr. Locklear. His passion for moving forward with these new devices should get us excited.

Sure, this upcoming technology might flop, but really “it’s a different way of thinking mobile. Back in 2008, prior to the release of the iPhone, the idea of a mobile cell phone built into Personal Digital Assistant wasn’t a common or popular one. Technology is constantly changing…” said junior Howard Lin.

Matt Woolsey, culture editor

art by Olivia Chen

ThirteenThirteen Tips from Edina’s Twelfth Grade

After a couple years of high school under their belts, seniors realize that they’ve learned a few things along the way. Some seniors decided to share their words of wisdom so sophomores and juniors can avoid making the same mistakes they did.

1. “Don’t grow a goatee.” –Pierce Morgan2. “Junior slide is not a thing. Don’t senior slide too early.” –Emma Egan-Lawless3. “Don’t check your phone while walking in the hallway, and avoid the curved hallway.” –Cara Sierks4. “Sometimes sleep is more important than finishing each assignment to perfection.” -Allie Whiteside5. “Start writing college essays in the summer.” –Gwen Eastaugh6. “Make friends with Arlou.” –Olivia Mathis7. “Take at least one AP class.” –Laura Baker8. “Eat breakfast.” –Jon Whear9. “You can get away with studying the night before.” –Julianne Campbell10. “Don’t be in one exclusive clique; branch out.” –Brian Atkin11. “You definitely don’t need to do your hair every morning.” –Abby Eckland12. “Use the DECA bathroom.” –Brian Willenbring13. “Have good relationships with your teachers.” –Sam HechterMy advice to all the sophomores and juniors out there is to take these tips seriously. They might

not seem important now, but soon enough you’ll realize the same things.Adair Andre, staff writer

November LineupNov. 15-16 at 7:00 p.m. Matinee Nov. 16 at 1:00 p.m. The EHS Thespians present “Fiddler on the Roof” at the Edina Performing Arts Center. Nov. 8Isaiah “JC” Small will released his new mix tape “SWAG.” Check him out on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/user/JCofficialtv) or on his SoundCloud (https://soundcloud.com/jctwincities).Nov. 18 at 7:00 p.m.Edina High School Fall Orchestra Concert at Fick Auditorium.Nov. 23 – Dec. 1Thanksgiving Break (remember to fuel up on the twenty-eighth for Black Friday).Dec. 6 Everyone’s favorite costume party (other than Halloween) returns with the EHS Sadie Hawkins Dance.Dec. 12 at 7:00 p.m.The EHS Symphonic Band heads to Fick for its Winter Concert.Dec 12.Senior Frank Hartman returns to the lineup with another release on his SoundCloud. (http://soundcloud.com/echokidmusic).

Have an upcoming concert, performance, or new song coming out? Shoot us an e-mail at edinazephyrus273@gmail.com to be featured in next month’s issue.

Culture 11 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439 November 15, 2013 Volume 34 Issue 2 www.edinazephyrus.com

For others, comfort is the absolute goal and style is secondary. “I’m still tired, so I want to be comfortable while I’m in class learning,” stated junior Sara Donlin.

“I’ve tried to stop wearing sweat pants, though.” Junior Leah Mcneil stated, “I think what I wear definitely affects how I feel throughout the day. If I’m wearing some-thing comfy or something that I feel looks good, I’ll be a lot more confident and just do better in class rather than zoning out or feeling gross. Also the temperatures in the building vary a lot - math is always freez-ing and APUL is a furnace, so layers help.”

It seems like the consensus is to strike a balance. Wear what makes you feel confident and don’t be afraid to show off your personal style. However, be practical! We’re here to learn, and anything that is going to get in the way of that probably isn’t worth wearing.

Hannah Kloos, staff writer

Many students at EHS feel compelled to spend breaks cooped up in their rooms watching horrible movies. In order to prevent readers from wasting these pre-cious few free hours on bad bad movies, Zephyrus has compiled a list of the best worst movies.

“Birdemic”- The budget of this movie was $10,000- this gives you an idea of how great the special effects are. Birdemic is essentially ninety two minutes of birds attacking a town, making it great if you want to clear your head of unimportant things like the quadratic formula and the graph of the cosine function.

“Sharknado”- Shark + tornado= sharknado. Picture a movie that essen-tially only captures wind and sharks fly-ing around in the air. After watching the movie, viewers are usually unable to name characters because they were so focused on the dreaded sharknado. Need I say more?

• “Your mom” was the most irre-futable comeback in the history of comebacks

• You wanted to be Phil of the Future

• You knew that, without a Tamagotchi, you didn’t deserve friends

• Only the most popular kids had Razr phones

• Watching “Fred” on YouTube was the funniest thing ever

• You wanted to live in a hotel with Zack and Cody

• You could do all kinds of “sick” tricks on your Razor scooter

• You remember having to re-wind a VHS before watching

• “CatDog” didn’t have to make any sense

• You lied about your age to get a Facebook account

• You know what the last unfor-tunate event was

• Miley Cyrus was still respect-able

• You had approximately 666 Silly Bandz

• Your Tech Decks were fre-quently taken by teachers

• You can sing the “Blue’s Clues” mail song

• It’s obvious to you that Angel-ica Pickles’ doll was Ke$ha’s fashion idol

• You’re still waiting to find out where Carmen Sandiego is

• The best gum only had flavor for thirty seconds

• Zoobooks looked so cool, but nobody you knew actually had them

• The predecessor to the hipster: a scene kid

• You know exactly where your GameBoy is

• You waited for your Hogwarts letter all day on your eleventh birthday

• You would go to Blockbuster on a Friday night to pick out the perfect movie

• You remember Josh’s love for Oprah

• You can do the whole “Soulja Boy” dance

• The second Pirates of the Car-ribean was the biggest letdown ever

• When the onlu thing you want-ed for Christmas were Heelys Will Hagens, staff writer

Living in the 00’s

The Best of the Worst

Style at School

In case anyone feels like going beyond the animal-slash-natural disaster genre and decides to check out different bad movies, Zephyrus has also made a list of the absolute worst worst movies that nobody should ever have to watch.

“LOL”- Don’t be fooled by the title. This movie will actually make you want to gouge out your eyes. A pre-2013 Miley Cyrus stars at a time when her voice reached its peak whininess. She finds a way to complain about everything, from her luxurious life to her many boyfriend prospects. Be warned: she is best described as a large baby with a Southern twang.

“Mean Girls 2”- Quite honestly, this is a complete waste of time. It doesn’t even remotely compare to the oft-quoted “Mean Girls.” They did a horrible job with this se-quel; almost none of the cast returned and their writers clearly moved on to better things (and so should you).

Sarah Nealon, art editor

Style is a way to express yourself and reflect your individuality. But in school, does dressing up or down lend itself better to learning?

For some, putting effort into an outfit makes them feel more ready to take on the day. Junior Catherine Ware explained, “I feel more prepared. I feel like I can focus because I don’t have to worry about how I look.” She added, though, “I like things like dresses because they’re comfy and easy as well as stylish. I’m a big fan of both.”

“Sometimes you’ve got to roll swagged out,” agreed junior Kirby Whitehead.

Junior Ashab Alamgir explained, “Usually I just throw on whatever I can find that doesn’t make me look weird or like I was asleep when I dressed myself...but I try to look presentable, I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression on anyone.”

Stylish Comfy

Social networking sites like Twitter provide a fun and easy way to keep in touch with friends, stay updated on current events, and shamelessly stalk celebrities. But when Twitter-surfing takes priority over school work or physically being with friends and family, you might want to think of better ways to delegate your time.

I quit using my Twitter account a while ago, and I have to admit that for about the first week or so I had a pretty hard time with it. I missed the bizarre trending topics, amusing hashtags, and even the occasional indirect tweet war, although I couldn’t really figure out why. It didn’t really add any practical value to my life, and more often than

not it just made it easier for me to procrastinate. However, these feelings are more common than I thought- so common that they’ve even been given a name: FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. A recent study found that turning off your phone can create feelings of restlessness similar to symptoms of drug addicts going through withdrawal. If this isn’t alarming, I don’t know what is. We are so connected to our online life that separating our-selves from it causes physical distress. It is important to note, however, that FOMO is based on a premise of lies. People’s tweets are in no way an accurate representation of their everyday activities. If they were, you would probably be seeing a lot more

information about picking up dog poop and losing car keys than you would ever want to know. In fact, some spend hours thinking of a tweet that will garner the maximum amount of retweets and favorites, which is pretty pathetic as there are so many other ways to spend your time. For example, rediscover your love for watercolor painting, add to your repertoire of martial arts moves, bake something without using a recipe whatever floats your boat, but don’t feel an obligation to update the world about it. After all, maybe in the absence of scrolling through tweets about other people’s allegedly awesome lives, you will improve your own. Hannah Kloos, staff writer

Why I Deleted my Twitter Account

art by Sarah Aulik

art by Alex Riddle

art by Sarah Aulik

Versus

You know you’re a 2000’s kid when...

Meet the Staff!www.edinazephyrus.com Volume 34 Issue 2 November 15, 2013 6754 Valley View Rd. Edina, MN 55439

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From left to right: Sarah Nealon, Clare Ling, Hannah Sommerville, Jack Hultstrand.Not pictured: Micah Osler.

Top row, from left to right: Adair Andre, Will Hagens, Emily Kraft, Mia Hilali.Bottom row, from left to right: Hannah Kloos, Farhia Osman, Sophie Cannon.Not pictured: Griffin Thompson.

Top row, from left to right: Audrey Sheehy, Megan Hussey, John Osler, Erik Lindquist, Noah Chestler.Bottom row, from left to right: Madeline Marker, Marissa Nelson, Ellie Bender, Chiara Kohlmayr.

Top row, from let to right: Matt Dulas, Tanner Sparrow, Sarah Aydinalp, Matt Woolsey, Jackson Van Dyke.Bottom row, from left to right: Alexi Diem, Patricia Leach, Drew Davis, Perry Bruder.Not pictured: Bess Pearson.

A. My friends know me as sarcastic and an excessive prankster. In my free time I enjoy bodybuilding, as I participate in dance and rowing. I eat more than you.B. I love fruit snacks. Fruit snacks are awesome. Yolo.C. I can be found looking very confused, laughing for no reason, or groaning at the completely wrong ways people pronounce my name. I’m also an award winning procrastinator and usually dragging a book everywhere I go.D. I’m a 5’3” sleep enthusiast who is fluent in “Mean Girls” quotes. I love drawing Disney characters and aspire to be a Disney princess.E. I am not cool. I like tennis. That is all.F. I am cool. I like orchestra. That is all.

G. Finally 5’2”, I’m a strong minded individual who spends Saturday nights watching “How I Met your Mother” marathons. I enjoy climbing rocks and stuffing myself with quiche, specifically on cold winter days.H. I stay up to date with my schoolwork, but I still know how to “get down.”I. I have already been accepted into Harvard Medical School by watching every episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” My future plan is to become a resident working very closely with Dr. McDreamy.J. I have one eye that’s bigger than the other. Not really but I wish I did.K. I enjoy coloring books, “Stratego,” and attempting to find Waldo, but “school comes first.”L. #iusedtobeamish #swaggyM. I made Ed Board put a hot dog on our sweatshirt. I think we all know who really is in charge of Zephyrus.N. I have way too many nicknames for my dog. I consider snapchat to be one of my most sophisticated art forms, due to its demanding time and color con-straints. Pesto makes everything better and so do scented candles.

O. I’m a rad businessman, prefer my bagels in individual bags, and love dope beats.P. I’ve got the most popular hair and glasses combo in the journalism industry. Q. Chocolate. ‘Nuff said.R. I am on Zephyrus and I have brown eyes.S. 5’7” male seeking life partner. Enjoys long walks on beach, rainy days, grammatical prescriptivism.T. Hi, I’m Drew Davis, and I love… wait, I probably shouldn’t say my name, should I? Dang it. The delete key on my keyboard is broken. It’s an issue.U. I’m unrelated to the bloodsucking Lake Superior thingy that shares my surname.V. I need a date to Sadies. Seniors only plz ;)W. @V I am avaliable ;)X. I am an opinionated, clever, and slightly crazy individual who sometimes talks too much. I love art and being involved in everything so if you see me in the hall, I’ll probably be running.Y. I band hard. I enjoy recreational flag football. I am constantly angry at my boyfriend. #swag

Z. I only wear Lululemon. I like talking about, watching, and making mov-ies. I have two birds and a chihuahua. @. Sam Ehde: call me! ;D <3+. I have an obsession with cats and ballet dancing. At 16 years of age, I spend my free time writing short stories and reading long fiction books. I have a passion for music and all things artistic.®. Have you seen my iPad mini? I have an iPad mini. I like shopping for things on my iPad mini, and also writing notes on my iPad mini. It’s my best friend. I like my girlfriend Allie too, but mostly my iPad mini. #staffwriter$. I’m the most popular guy on Zephyrus. Everybody loves me. Do you love me? I hope you do! I’m also 5’6”, blonde, and as adorable as a puppy.*. I’m a junior at Edina and Zephyrus is among my favorite classes. When I’m not swamped with homework, I participate in the Fall Musical, Model UN, Science Club, and Quiz Bowl. &. I love piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and long walks on the beach. Just kidding.

Answers: A. Marissa Nelson B. Ellie Bender C. Farhia Osman D. Sophie Cannon E. Emily Kraft F. Hannah Sommerville G. Chiara Kohlmayr H. Erik Lindquist I. Madeline Marker J. John Osler K. Tanner Sparrow L. Bess Pearson M. Matt Dulas N. Hannah Kloos O. Matt Woolsey P. Jackson T. Van Dyke Q. Sarah Nealon R. Griffin Thompson S. Micah Osler T. Drew Davis U. Patricia Leach V. Noah Chestler W. Clare Ling X. Audrey Sheehy Y. Adair Andre Z. Alexi Diem @. Bridgit Loeffelholz +. Mia Hilali ®. Will Hagens $. Jack Hulstrand *. Perry Bruder &. Sarah Aydinalp

Can you match each Zephyrite to their description? Answers below.

Ed Board

Page Editors

Staff Writers

Staff Writers