Interpersonal Effectiveness 18 th April, 2013 Introduction to Research ID 6020.
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Transcript of Interpersonal Effectiveness 18 th April, 2013 Introduction to Research ID 6020.
Cliché! IPS Is An Ocean
Emotional Intelligence –
Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship
Management
Assertiveness, Conflict
Management
People Skills – Social Intelligence
Communication-
Listening, Non-Verbal – Body
Language
Setting the Context
Awareness Interpersonal Effectiveness
AdvisorColleagues, Lab Mates,
Hostel Mates
Starting with Self-AwarenessTypes of Research Scholars
TYPE1: “I have come here to do path-breaking research. I don’t
worry about time. I understand that 5 years is the upper limit.”
TYPE2: “I have come here to get a degree. I want to finish in 3-
31/2 years. I have family/other commitments.”
Symptoms of Unhealthy Interpersonal Skills
Family• Arguments
increase – for the silliest reasons!
• You start smoothening conflicts – not addressing them.
• You are misunderstood more often.
• More time @ work – not necessarily working!
Research
• Starting to avoid bumping into the guide!
• Infrequent visits to the department.
• Venting out with fellow scholars more often.
• It’s my research and my world.
Workplace
• Everyday is Monday morning!
• Cribbing on the rise.
Interpersonal Skills – NOT At Its Best!
Guide “When can you submit the
1st draft of the paper”
Scholar“When do you want it Sir?” (and you give an unrealistic estimate)
Father/Mother “When will you complete
your research?”
Son/Daughter“What is your problem? I just come home for a few
days and you start off!!!!!!”
Boss “Can you just do this work for me? I have
loads of other things to do”
Sub-ordinate“Fine. When do you
want it?” (Yes Boss!)
Spouse“What do you think of
this?”
Spouse“Yes…OK” (watching
TV)
A Myriad of Tools
Johari Window
Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Transactional Analysis
OtherSelf-Assessment tools
Transactional Analysis
The unit of social
communication is a transaction
Stimulus -> Response
“I do something to you, you do
something back” Dr. Eric Berne
I am OK-You are OkTransactional
Analysis
TA for Empowerment
T A forEffective
Communication
TA for Interpersonal Effectiveness
TA and Life Skills
Ego State: “a consistent pattern of feelings, experiences and behavior.”
P - Parent Ego StateJudgmental, critical, paternal/maternal,guiding, bossy, dictatorial, nurturing
A – Adult ego StateNon-emotional, factual, information gathering of information giving
C – Child Ego StateCreative, curious, inventive, playful, childlike, joking, emotional
‘Taught’ Concept
‘Thought’ Concept
‘Felt’ Concept
FREE/NATURAL CHILD• Loves• Curious• Fun loving• Playful• Alive• Afraid• Sad
Little professor• Spontaneous• Imaginative• Creative
Rebellious, argues,Tantrums
Dear Prof. Morris
How are you? I am so sorry for delaying the journal review. I wanted to submit this on time, but feel really bad that yet again I could not commit to the time given. Please accept my apologies. I will submit it by end of tomorrow.
Hope this will not deter you from giving me reviews in the future. Your journal is of very high order and I will not forgive myself if I do not get to do the reviews of your esteemed journal.
Hope this hasn’t changed anything. Please do send across any reviews and I promise I will submit them on time, unlike the last two times.
Thank you so much for your patience. Regards
ADULT
• Mature• Rational• Practical• Decide
• Analyze• Weigh pros & cons• Decide probabilities• Seek & give • information
Constant ParentSome individuals may constantly advise and criticize others
Constant AdultSome may analyze, live only with facts, and distrust feelings
Constant ChildSome operate with strong feelings, all the time, consumed with anger, or constantly clowning
Knowing Thyself - Preferred Ego State
Beyond Sophisticated ‘Labeling’Identifying Ego States from movies
Transactions – The Variety
Want the draft EOD Sure.
Oh God! How is it possible!
COMMUNICATING EXPECTATIONS ,
ISSUES CLEARLY AND HONESTLY
Transactions – The Variety
Formulate a LP problem and
come tomorrow with the results
Hmmm…Ok Sir.
Works hard,
cannot crack it,
Ctrl C & V
CONSIDERATE AND UNDERSTAND
DEEPER NEEDS, INTENTIONS
Transactions – The Variety
Oh Oh, there she
goes..crying once more...
BEING SENSITIVE OF DEEPER MOTIVES, FEARS
EMPATHY
What will help?
King Lear: “Gloucester, you have no eyes in your head, yet you see
how this world goes.”
Gloucester replies, “I see it feelingly.”
What will help?Publication – low quality
journal/Single author
paper
My name in a low quality
journal!!???/Where is my
name?!!!
TRANSPARENCY IN RELATIONSHIP
The Inner You
What personal qualities will enhance IPR? Respect & trust
Warmth and sensitivity
Positive unconditional regard
Expansiveness
Empathy
Faculty
Free will to Change!!!Think of 2 situations of importance
to you.Two responses (behaviors) you
would want to do differentlyWhat When How WhereWith whom
Identify your blocks that does not allow you to do what you want?
• ______________
• ______________
How will you overcome these to achieve your goal?
• ______________
• ______________