Insider Transcript 2010 03

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Mehow,Inc.ConfidentialandProprietary‐Copyright2010Mehow™,Inc.www.mehow.tvand

http://www.infieldinsider.tv

March2010InfieldInsider

RobbieKramer

Order ID: MEHOW-201009161932-144667

Licensed to John Davis <[email protected]>

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March2010InfieldInsider

TableofContents

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Page3…DoYouGuysMindifIStandHereaSecond?Page22…ILostMyFriendsPage28…TheNorwegiansPage32…TheTourGuidePage39…WannaGoToVegasandGetMarried?

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DoYouGuysMindIfIStandHereforaSecond?

00:17

Robbie:DoyouguysmindifIstandhereforaminute?

HB:No,youcan.

Robbie:Thosegirlsoverthere,theytoldmetoleave.

HB:No,youcantotallystand.They’reobviouslynotverynice.

Robbie:No,I’mjustplaying.Iwastryingtothinkofthecreepiestpickupline.Isthatagoodone?It’sprettygood,right.She’slikeyea,it’sprettygood.

HB:Onascaleof1to10,10being“you’rescaringtheshitoutofme,”Igiveyouan8.5.

Robbie:Whoa,IguessifIwasgoingforthat,notbad.

HB:Propstoyou.

Robbie:Yea.

HB:Youscaredtheshitoutofme,butnotalevelof10.

Robbie:Youdidn’tseethatscared,Idon’tbuyit.I’dsaya4.5.

HB:Atthispointnothingphasesme,trustmeI’veheardworse.

Robbie:You’reimmunetoit.

HB:I’veheardthecheesyoneslike,“doyouhavemirrorsinyoursneakersbecauseIcanseemyselfinyourskirtoryourpants.”

Robbie:Ohmirrorinyourpocket?

HB:Somethinglikethat,whatever…

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Robbie:Icanseemyselfinyourskirt.

HB:Whatever,thatsoundslikeacreepyonetome.

Robbie:That’sabadone.Howaboutarethosespacepants,becausethatassisoutofthisworld.

HB:Ohyea!Ilovethatone,actually,it’sveryclever.There’sanotheroneaboutabakerandabakeryorsomething.

Robbie:Abakerandabakery?

HB:IsyourdadabakerbecauseIdon’tknowithastodowithdoughandbread.

Robbie:Areyouaprofessionalpickupartistforwomen?

HB:No!Iwatchorreadsomethingaboutalistofpickuplines,it’sprobablyoneofthosechaine‐mails.

Robbie:Okay.

HB:Itwasallaboutstupidestpickuplines,soIreadabunchofthemandnowIcanonlypiecethemtogetherinmymind,hencewhymydeliveryissosubparrightnow.

Robbie:Youneedtohelpherwiththedelivery.Sheneedssomecoaching.

HB:Mirrorsonsneakersanddoughandbread…

Robbie:She’sgotthestraight‐manact.Youarethetypeofgirlyoucandeliversomething‐

HB:Deadpan.

Robbie:Deadpanandjustbelike,Ilikeheat,orlampandit’llbefunny.Soincaseyouevergointocomedy,youguyswouldmakeagoodpair.

HB:Iknow,I’mlikegoofyandyou’restraightbutfunny.Thedynamicduo.Whataboutyou,whatbringsyoutothelovelyviceroytonight?

Robbie:I’veneverbeenhere.Ihavesomefriendsaround‐

HB:It’skindofnice,theyhaveheatlamps,whichisalwaysaplus.

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Robbie:Ijustmovedherefrom<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Noway,wherein<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:WellIwenttoschoolin<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Ihadacousinwholivedin<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Ohreally,whendidyoulivethere?

HB:Mycousinlivedthere.

Robbie:Ohyourcousin.

HB:Yea,Iwoulddrivedowneveryweekendtovisither,itwasprettyawesome.Myparents<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Didtheygotoadermatologistthere?

HB:<confidentialitymute>OhIdon’tknow,why?

Robbie:Washisname<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Isthatyourfatherorsomething?

Robbie:Yea.

HB:Oh,isitreally?

Robbie:NoIactuallyneverheardofhim,justthrowingoutaname,

HB:NoIdon’tthinktheywenttodermatologist.

Friend:<inaudible>

Robbie:Thatcouldgooverbad.Itcouldbesketchy?

HB:SodoyoulikeLosAngeles?

Robbie:Ido,Ilivein<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Iworkin<confidentialitymute>.

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Robbie:Ireallydo,it’slike<confidentialitymute>,wasboringafterawhile,Ilivedthere8yearsandIgrewupin<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Wowsoyou’relikeaneighbortome?

Robbie:What?

HB:You’relikeaneighbortome,Iwentto<confidentialitymute>Highschool.

Robbie:Whendidyougraduate.

HB:<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Okay.

HB:Doyouknow<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Iwent<confidentialitymute>.Wheredidtheygo.

HB:<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Iwasadorkinhighschool,Ijustplayedalotofgolf.

HB:Noway,mybrotherhasascholarshiprightnow.

Robbie:What’shisname?Iprobablyknowhim.

HB:<confidentialitymute>.Ouchit’sscaldingmyface,kindafeelsgoodthough.Hegraduatedhighschoolin2005,sohe’syoung.

Robbie:Iplayedincollegeand…

HB:Didyou?Didyougoto<confidentialitymute>.Isn’tyourcouchwhat’shisname’sbrother?

Robbie:<confidentialitymute>.Mycoachisadruggieandhe’sawesomethough.Wehadthemostfunintheworldonthegolfteam.HeusedtobeadruggieIshouldsay,notanymore,butwegoontripsandwe’dbeinthevanandhe’dpickupashitloadofbeerandvodkaforus.

6:07

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HB:Didtheydrugtest?

Robbie:Yea,theydiddrugtestus.

HB:Mybrotherhastopeeinacupallofthetime.

Robbie:Yea.We,listentothis,wetookthistripuptoPebbleBeachplayingatournamentupthere.Andwe’redrivingback,andit’sinthemiddleofthe5,middleofnowhere,andoneoftheguysonourteamwasthistotalstraightedgeguy,asiandude,neverdrank,neverdidanything.Andhewassothirstyandtherewasn’tastopforlike10or15miles,andhewaslikeIjustneedsomewater,anybodyhaveanywater?Andthecoachwaslike,yeaIhaveawholebottleofit,it’srightinthedoor,it’srightupthere.Andhepassesitback,abottleofaquafina…buttherewasactuallyvodkainit.Sohetakesthisgiganticpull,andithitshim…afterthreeseconds,andhespraysitallovereverybodyinthevan.

HB:Vodkaispowerful,Imeanifyoudownitlikethat…

Friend:Yea.

Robbie:Ithadstoliinit.Andhewassothirsty…ittakesacoupleofseconds.

HB:Likeacetone,it’snotevenlike…Greygoosemaybethatgoesdownalittlesmooth,butstoliislikegraaaaaaaaaaa…

Robbie:Well,ittakesafewsecondstoactuallyfeelit.Anyways,Idon’trecommendthat.

HB:SoI’massumingyoudon’tplaygolfnow?

Robbie:Ido,butjustnotalot.Iwasgoingtogopro,butIstartedabusinessanddecidednotto.

HB:Whatdoyoudo?

Robbie:Ihaveacrazyjob.

HB:Whatisit?

Robbie:It’skindofalongthelinesofPickUplines.

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HB:Okay.

Robbie:Iworkwithmendealingwithinsecuritiesandanxietyaroundbeingsocial,meetingpeople,dating‐

HB:That’sactuallyreallycool.

Robbie:Thankyou.

Friend:Ihaveareallylamejob…

HB:Iknow,that’sactuallyphenomenal.

Robbie:Ididn’tsayitwaslame,Isaiditwasweird.

HB:Iwouldlovetostartabusiness,wellwomenare,Idon’tknow,maybetheydon’tneeditasmuch.We’retalkingabouthisjob,canyoutellourfriend<confidentialitymute>whatyourjobis?It’sactuallyreallycool.

Robbie:Yea,Iworkwithguyswithinsecurities,anxiety,beingsocial,dating…

HB:Andit’shisowncompany,that’sneat.

Robbie:Yea.Westartedit,wewerejustkindoflikehelpingfriendsandwedecidedtostartyet,yea…

HB:Sowhatwouldyoutellaguy,Guy’sadouchebag.Douchebag,right?

Robbie:Yea.

HB:Andhewaslike,andhedoesn’tdresswell.Doesn’treallyhaveajob,whatisyourfirsttipofadviceasfarasgettingittogether?

Robbie:Well,hedoesn’thaveajob,hedoesn’tdresswell,andhe’screepy?

HB:Yea,he’ssociallyinept.

Robbie:So,Iwouldsay,he’sjustweird?

HB:Alittlebit,buthe’saniceguy.He’sgotthatgoing,he’snotanasshole,he’sjustackward.

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Robbie:Isheoverlynice?

HB:He’sackward,liketimid…

Robbie:Theproblemis…Ifyouseeaguythat’sreallyattractive,it’swhohe’sbeing.

HB:Yea.

Robbie:I’msureyou’vebeenattractedtoguysthataren’tamazinglookingbefore,right?Andthere’ssomethingabouthimthatyou’rejustlikeIdon’tknow‐

HB:He’sgotagoodpersonality.

Robbie:Right.Andmostguysarelikereallyintheirhead,tryingtoanalyzeandthinkofwhattheysay,ratherthanjustbeingspontaneous.Theproblemisguysarelogical,girlsareemotional,andifyouwanttorelatetowomen,youhavetobeintouchwithyouremotions.Kindoflikebeinyourbody,actually.Pictureanathleteorafiremanorsomething,thatguyisattractivebecauseyouknowhecanhandleshitwhenhehitsthefan,andyoufeelsafearoundhim.Andhe’snotaroundacomputeralldayanalyzingshit.

HB:Yea.

Robbie:Soweteachguyshowtogetoutoftheirhead.

HB:That’sgood,that’sverygood.That’sagoodskilltohave.Becausealotofpeoplearewaytooandtendtoover‐analyzeshit,bewhoyouare,saywhatyousay,ifpeoplecan’tacceptyouforthat‐

Robbie:Yea,it’sastrippingawayprocess,Iwouldn’ttellhimwhattodoanything,Iwouldshowhimwherehe’sbeingweirdonvideo,wherehe’sbeingcreepy.

10:29

HB:That’sawesome!Youfilmthem?

Robbie:Yea,HDvideo.

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HB:Sodefineyourservices,whatdoyoudo?What’sinapackagedeal.

Robbie:Well,wehave‐

HB:Doyouhaveawebsite?

Robbie:Yea,innerconfidence.com.

HB:Iloveit!

Robbie:I’llgiveyoumycard.Webasically,itdependsonhowmuchworktheyneed.Someguys…Need,wellmostoftheguysthatcometous,needashitloadofwork‐

HB:Thatissocool!

Robbie:Thankyou!Andum…

HB:I’m<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Robbie,youtoo!

HB:Kramer.<confidentialitymute>

Robbie:KramerM.D.Butum,we’llworkwiththemfor90dayseveryweek.Theyneedconsistentworktostripawayalltheirinsecuritiesandanxietiesandallthatstuff.

HB:Soyoufilmthem,andwhatelsedoyoudo?

Robbie:WefilmtheminHDinteractingwithgirls…

HB:That’sackward,howdoyoupullthatoffwhenyou’reinasocialsetting.

Robbie:No,no,no!Wedon’tdoitinabar,wedoitinourworkplace.

HB:Oh!

Robbie:Webringthegirlsin.Forexample,wehaveacutegirllikeyouthere,you’dbesittingthereonacouch.Youwouldobviouslyknowwhat’sgoingon,guywouldwalkupandwe’dbelikejustgotalktoher.Sohe’dfinallycomeup,beinhishead,bestumblingandsayingweirdshit.Andwe’dplayitbackonvideoandcallhimoutonallthegamesheplays,allthebullshit…

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HB:Ohmygod,that’sreallycool.

Robbie:Thethingaboutit,thatmakesitworkreallywell.Thisthingisreallystrong.

HB:Iloveit,It’sactuallyscaldingmyscalpanditfeelsdeliciousrightnow.

Robbie:Youlikeit?

HB:It’ssocold.

Robbie:Itfeelsdelicious.Ilovetheverbage.

HB:Yes,itisprettydelicious.

Robbie:But,um,it’slikejustwatchingit,likewhenyouviewyourself.IfIputyouonHDvideoandmakeyouwatchit,yourfirstreactionwouldbelikeIdon’twannaseemyself!

HB:Ihatethat,yea.

Robbie:Sojustactuallyseeingitandviewingitwillmakealotofchangestoyourunconsciousmind.

HB:Okay.

Robbie:Andthenfromthere,it’sprettyeasytojust…Youknow?

HB:Yea,onceyouwatchyourself…

Robbie:Yea.Youseealotofarchtypesyouplay,likeformewhenIfirststarteddoingit…causemeandmypartnerstarteddoingittoeachother,that’showwestarted.

HB:Yea.Ofcourse…

Robbie:Iwasreallylike,Iwasallaboutlikebeingcool.Iwaskindofadork,wellIwasreallycoolin7thand8thgrade,inmyclassof12kids.

HB:Okay!

Robbie:Igraduatedfromaclassof12in<confidentialitymute>.

HB:Perhapsweneedtotrainyouwithsomeinnerconfidencedotcom.

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Friend:Iknow.

HB:Weshouldfilmhowlamethatwas!

Robbie:Goahead,thiswillwarmyouupquick.

HB:It’sprettycrazy.Okay,so,rewind…

Robbie:SoIwascoolinmiddleschoolinmyclassof12kids,thenIgotothishighschoolwherethere’s500kidsinmyclass.Thenallofthesudden,Ididn’tknowanyoneitwaslikeanewschool.AndIwas,allIdidwasplaygolfanddidn’treallyhaveanyfriendsuntilJunioryear,whenIdecidedIamgoingtomeetpeopleandmeetfriends.AndIchasedafterthisgirlforlikesixmonths,anditworkedout.Whowouldhavethought,right?Likefinally,shewaslikeokayfine,Igiveit.Weendedupdatingfor10months.Shewasreallyprettyandjustbecausewhenyou’renotavailable,girlslikeyouandallthatshit.Soallofthesuddenalltheseothergirlswantedme,soIgotmoreconfidence.ThenIbasically,IalwayshadthisfeelinglikeIwasn’tcoolenough.

HB:Okay.

Robbie:IalwaysfeltlikeI’mnotcoolenoughtotalktothem,bewiththem.SowheneverIfeltthatwayaroundsomebodyIdeemedcool,Iwouldjustemotionallyshutdown.

HB:Oh.

Robbie:Yeaandum,IsawandstartedseeingthatoncameraandIsawhowIplayedthiscoolguyarchtype,likeIwastryingreallyhardtobecoolandinfactIwasbeingadouchebag.

HB:Adouchebag.

Robbie:Andthen,Iwasabletojustseeingthat,Istoppedplayingthatgame.

HB:Okay.

Robbie:Well,letmeaskyou,doyoufeellikeI’mplayingthecoolguy?

HB:No,Iwasintriguedbyyourwholecompanyand…Ohshitit’sreallyhot,Iactuallyreallydon’tlikesmoking,canwemove?Sorry.

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15:38

HB:No,IwishIcouldstandbythatheatlamp,butIhatesmoking.No,no,noIdidn’tfeelthatatall.I,whenyouapproached,meand<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Yea.

HB:Youkindofcameupwith,quirky,soit’slike,quirkypeopleareattractedtome.Iliketosurroundmyselfwithpeopleofallwalksalife.BecauseIhavefriendsinalldifferentwalksoflife,differentgroups,Iwasneverthattypeofpersontobelikeinoneclique,andIhadfriendsthatwereindrama,friendsincomputers,friendswhowrotefortheschoolpaper,friendswhowerestoners,right?

Robbie:Yea.

HB:SoIjustthought,thisguyisquirky,there’ssomethingabouthim.Iwannahearabouthisinnerconfidence.

Robbie:I’magoofball.

HB:Anyways,yea,that’sreallycool.That’sacoolcompany,andit’sgoingwell?

Robbie:It’sgoinggreat.

HB:Andyouhaveoneotherpartner?

Robbie:Yea,he’saroundheresomewhere.He’sprobably…

HB:Testingouthisskills.

Robbie:Yea,maybe.

HB:Ididwriteascreenplay.

Guy:That’sawesome.

Friend:Ijusttoldhimaboutit.

HB:Youtoldhimaboutthenews?

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Friend:Yea,Ijustbriefly<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Youdidn’teventellme.

HB:Yea,Ipitchedtheideatomyteacher,oroneofmyteachers,whohappenstobeamanager.Sohereallylikedtheidea,AndyGarcia,becausemyscriptisaboutCuba.

Guy:Shetoldmeaboutthat,butI’mmoreinterestedintheidea.

HB:Oh,it’sadomesticdrama,soit’safamilydrama.Andit’sreallyabout,thesefourfamilymembersandtheirconflictonaninnerlevel,tryingtofigureoutwhotheyare.It’stheconflictamongthefamilymembersandtheconflictwithsocietyintermsofwhatchangedduringthefallofBautistaandtheriseofCastro.

Guy:Okay.

HB:Andit’skindoflike,bittersweetendingliketragedybreaksthemtogetherandunitesthematthesametime.

Guy:Didyouhaveanybodygettingmassacred.

HB:Yea,Ido.There’sthebrotherwhogetsexecutedbyfiringsquad.It’skindoftragic.

Guy:IsChethereshootinghim?

HB:No,it’sneversaid.

Guy:IhateChe.

HB:Idon’tlikehimeither,he’scutebutIdon’tlikehimeither.

Guy:IhateChe.

HB:He’sreallycute,alsoCastroiskindofcutetoobutthatwasyoungeryears.Inthesubtitles,youknowhowintheendoffilmsitwillfadetoblackandattheenditwilltellyouwhathappenstoeveryone?

Guy:Yea.

HB:That’showyoufindouthewasexecuted.

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Robbie:Iwannaseethat.

HB:It’smymovie!

Robbie:I’mgoingtograbadrink,I’llseeyou.Whatthefuck,theheater,didyoumissme?

<NewTarget>

HB2:Idid.

Robbie:Aww.Sweet…

HB2:Obviouslyyoumissedme.

Robbie:Yea,don’ttellanybody.

HB2:Ialwaysdo.

Robbie:Ilikeyoursass.

HB2:Thanks!

Robbie:You’requitesassy,wheredidyoulearnthissass?

HB2:IknowwhatI’vegot,youkiddingme?

Robbie:That’sgood.

HB2:I’mnotfromhere,so…Iunderstandthevalue.

Robbie:TheMichigansass.

HB2:Don’tunderrateit.

Robbie:Sowhatareyoudoingherenow?

19:15

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HB2:CelebratinganothersemesterofGradschoolbeingdone.

Robbie:Really?WhatareyougoingtoGradschoolfor?

HB2:MBA.Business.

Robbie:MBA?

HB2:Yea,smartgirl.

Robbie:Smart,sassy,whatelseyougot?Let’smakealist.

HB2:Fun.

Robbie:Whatelse?Iwantthegoodstuff,likegivemesomenaughtystuff.

HB2:Eww.Ijustmetyou,noway.

Robbie:Youjustmetme?Soyouhaveanydogsorcats?

HB2:Ihaveonecat.

Robbie:Doyoulikelongwalksonthebeach,orponiesorunicorns?

HB2:NoI’mnotgay!

Robbie:That’sagirly‐

HB2:Idon’t’havetimeforthatshit.Mycatmissesme,I’mneverhome,areyoukiddingme?

Robbie:Whowouldaccuseyouofbeinggay?

HB2:That’slikestupidshitthatpeople,Idon’tlovethebeach,IlovetheoceanbecauseI’madiver.Ilovebeingunderthewater,butnotwalkingonthebeach.

Robbie:Iwouldlikethattoo,I’mscaredofthewaves.

HB2:Okay,thenyoucan’tdiveifyou’rescared.Areyoukiddingme?

Robbie:Why?There’snowavesunderneath.

HB2:That’strue.

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Robbie:Iwouldbefine.

HB2:Soyou’renotafraidofbeingunderwater?Butthewholethingiskindoffreakyatfirst.

Robbie:Okay.

HB2:Becauseyoucan’tbreathethroughyournose,breaththroughyourmouth…

Robbie:I’vesnorkeled.

HB2:That’sgay.

Robbie:Snorkelingisgay?

HB2:Yea.

Robbie:She’sallaboutthegay.

HB2:No,whenyou’readiver,snorkelingistotallygay.

Robbie:Well,Ihaven’tsaidI’madiver.Ihavesnorkeled,andyesyou’rerightthenosethingbothersme.

HB2:I’vesnorkeledbeforeIdove.

Friend:Gayisnottheappropriateword.

HB2:Snorkelingississy,it’sgirly.Isthatbettersomehow?

Robbie:Wheredoyougodiving?

Friend:Intheocean…

HB2:InSoCal…

Robbie:Sheisgood.

HB2:Iknow,Iloveher.

Robbie:Idon’tknowwhereyoufoundher.

HB2:IknowIloveher,sheismywinggirl.

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Robbie:Youdon’tgointhisarea,becauseit’stoodark?

HB2:No,wegoinSoCal.Yea,<confidentialitymute>theouterislands.Allover,yea.

Robbie:Wheredoyoulivenow?

HB2:Wheredoyoulive?

Robbie:Iaskedyoufirst.

HB2:Yea,itdoesn’tmatter.

Robbie:Thesassy/feistyness.It’sactuallyasassyslashfeisty.

HB2:Yea.

Robbie:But,youknow?

HB2:WhyshouldItellyou,youtellme.

Robbie:Oh,thedevil,that’snice.<confidentialitymute>.

HB2:SoamI.

Robbie:Really,where?

HB2:Whereyoulive.

Robbie:You’refullofshit,you’rejustgoingtocopywhateverIsay.

HB2:I’mjustlikeaguy.Youthrowmeguyshit,I’llthrowyouguyshitback.

Robbie:You’rewhat?

HB2:I’mthrowingyouguyshitback,wheredoyoulive?

Robbie:<confidentialitymute>.

HB2:Nice,Ihaveafriendwholivesthere.Ilive,uh<confidentialitymute>.Notthehighriseglass,butyouknow.

Robbie:Sowhenarewehangingout?

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HB2:WhenIwantto.

Robbie:Whenyouwantto…

HB2:Yea.

Robbie:Alright,wellI’mgoingtoputmynumberinyourphoneandyou’llcallmewhenyouwantto.

HB2:Exactly.

Robbie:I’mgoingtoplayatrickonyou,though,whenIdoit.

HB2:Why?

Robbie:It’sacrazytrick.I’mgoingtoshowyouthetrick.

HB2:Hangon.

Robbie:That’salotofpasswordstoputin,that’slikehigh‐tech,highsecretinthere?

HB2:Yea.

Robbie:Youhavenakedpics?Shitit’s12already?Ihaveablackberry,butthisoneisdifferent.It’soneoftheserollerthings,howdoIclearit?

HB2:Wheredoyouwanttogo,address?

Robbie:Iwanttocall,Iwanttomakeacall.

HB2:Oh,you’regoingtomakeacall?

Robbie:Yes,Iwanttomakeacall.

HB2:Socall.

Robbie:<confidentialitymute>originally.

HB2:Whoareyoucalling,yourself?

Robbie:Mymanager.

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HB2:Ohwait,I’msoimpressed.

Robbie:Here,pickitup,it’sforyou.Hello?No,no,yougottatalk.It’sloudinhere.Sothatwasmyawesometricktogetyournumber.

HB2:Itreallywasn’tatrick,Itotallyknowwhatyouweregoingtodo.

Robbie:Iknow.Itotallyforgotyourname.Idon’tthinkyou’vetoldme!

HB2:Becauseyou’reanass.

Robbie:Iknow,we’veestablishedthat.

HB2:Idon’tevenknowyours,that’ssofunny.Doyouhaveaname?

Robbie:Idohaveaname.It’samadeous.

HB2:It’snotjackass,right?Nowaythat’snotyourfuckingname!

Robbie:SventheDestroyer.

HB2:It’slikeRob.

Robbie:Yea,itisactually.Howthefuckdidyouknowthat?

HB2:Thatisnotyourname!

Robbie:Yeaitis,it’srob,Robert,Robbie.

HB2:Nofreakingway,areyouserious?

Robbie:Yes,I’mserious.

HB2:Ohmygod.Whatarethechances?

Robbie:What’syours?<confidentialitymute>Jenny?

HB2:It’sthreesyllables.Canyouhandleit?

Robbie:<confidentialitymute>.

HB2:Always,not<confidentialitymute>.

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Robbie:Okay,shouldIputinmyphoneas<confidentialitymute>.

HB2:Don’tbeajackass,Imeancontrolyourself,youdon’thavetobeanass.It’syourchoice,don’tchooseit.

Robbie:It’ssomuchmorefun,though.

HB2:Sinceyou’reaguy,youthinkitis,buthonestly<confidentialitymute>.Rob,what?

Robbie:Yea,Kramer.

HB2:Really?

Robbie:ShouldIputin,what’sthisbarsname?Thatwouldbetheultimatebullshit.

HB2:Yeaputthatin.<confidentialitymute>

Robbie:What’sthenameofthebar?

HB2:Putwhatever.

Robbie:Polka‐dot<confidentialitymute>.Awesome.

25:42

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ILostMyFriends

00:15

Robbie:Whatwasthatfor?

HBBlonde:Birthdaygirl…I’mwaitingformyfriends.

Robbie:IthinkIsawthem.

HBBlonde:Ohyouthinkyousawthem?

Robbie:They,um…Theytoldmethattheyditchedyou.Youweretoocoolforthemandtheywereupsetandsotheysaidfuckherwe’reout.Whatisthis?That’salongone.Sowhat’syourdeal.

HBBlonde:Um,Ilostmyfriends.Ilivehere.

Robbie:Oh,metoo.

HBBlonde:Well,Idon’tlikelivehere.

Robbie:Youliverighthereinthisbar?Iloveyou,givemeahug,

HBBlonde:Iwasborninthisbar.Iwasborn‐

Robbie:That’swhyIlikeyou,muah!

HBBlonde:Iwasborninthebrug.

Robbie:That’samazing,Iwasbornintheotherroom.

HBBlonde:Ohmygod!

Robbie:We’relike.Ohmygodwe’remeanttobe.Wewereborninthesamebar.

HBBlonde:MomanddadhonestlygavebirthtomeatCedar’sbutit’stheotherroom.

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Robbie:Itis.

HBBlonde:I’mlike,youknowwhat,that’swhereyouwereborn…

Robbie:SoareyouPersian?Youkindofhavethatlooktoyou.

HBBlonde:I’mveryPersianwiththeblondehairandblueeyes.It’sveryPersian.

Robbie:It’sthefacialstructure.AndIaskbecauseIthoughtyouwereahookahsmoker.Areyouahookahsmoker,haveyoueverdoneit?Itcouldbethegreatestthingonearth.

HBBlonde:Youknowwhatthegreatestthingonearthis.

Robbie:Sex.

HBBlonde:No.

Robbie:Whatisit?Tellme.

HBBlonde:It’sthehookahsmoker…

Robbie:Whatisit?What?

HBBlonde:Ican’tsayit.

Robbie:Youcan’tsayit.

HBBlonde:It’sembarrassing.

2:38

Robbie:Iwon’ttellanybody,whisperitinmyear.

HBBlonde:It’slikethis.

Robbie:What?

HBBlonde:Ijustsaidittwiceinyourear.

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Robbie:AllI…AllIheardwasshh…Iamsoconfused.CanyouMorseCodeittome?Whydon’twejustkeepitbetweenusandIwon’ttellanybody.

HBBlonde:IfIaskthisguy,hewouldn’tevenknow.

Robbie:Hewouldknoworhewouldn’tknow.

HBBlonde:Hewouldn’tknow.

Robbie:Whatwouldn’theknow?Youknowhim?Whatever.

HBBlonde:Iwentlikethis.

Robbie:Sotellmesomething…Ihave…Whatdoyoulikebetter,alright,let’ssay,you…Haveyoueverplayedthewouldyourathergame?Alrightsowouldyouratherliveinashackontheoceanoramansiononthelake?

HBBlonde:Allthree.

Robbie:What?Allthree?There’sonlytwo.

HBBlonde:Oh,Ipickthree.

Robbie:Sowouldyouratherhaveoneyearofmindblowingsex,followedbyayearofnosexatall.Ortwoyearsofso‐sosex?Theoneyear?Whatwouldyoudoforthesecondyear?

HBBlonde:Digagrave.

Robbie:What?

HBBlonde:Digagrave.

Robbie:That’swhatIwouldsaytoo.

4:56

Robbie:Icompletelyagree.What’syourname?

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HBBlonde:<confidentialitymute>

Robbie:What?

HBBlonde:Youcankeepgoing.

Robbie:I’malloutofquestions,it’syourturn?

HBBlonde:Iplaytheflutewithmypussy.

Robbie:Youwhat?

HBBlonde:Iplaytheflutewithmypussy.

Robbie:Whatcanyouplay?

HBBlonde:Theflute.

Robbie:Whatsong?

HBBlonde:DoyouwanttohearAmericanbandstandortraditional?Idon’tknowwhat.

Robbie:I’dliketohearanyofthem,itsoundslikeanamazingfeat.Ican’tplayanythingwithmydick.

HBBlonde:Ican.

Robbie:Ihopenot.Withyourpussyright,notyourdick?

HBBlonde:Both.Me,mypussy,andmydick.

Robbie:Okay,that’snotweird.

HBBlonde:Andmydick.

Robbie:Youandyourdickaretotallynormal.Whenareyougoingtoshowmethesecharacteristics.

HBBlonde:It’sbyinvitationonly.

Robbie:What’sthat?

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Robbie:What’sthat?


Robbie:Oh,okay.SoItakeityou’llhavetogivemetheinvitation,that’swhatthatmeans,right?

HBBlonde:Probably.

Robbie:Okay.Well,HowwouldIgetsuchinvitation?

HBBlonde:<confidentialitymute>

Robbie:I’vegottosay…YouhavethemostsensuallipsI’veeverseen.

HBBlonde:I’veheardthat.

Robbie:Haveyou?They’renice.

HBBlonde:I’vebeenworkingonit.

Robbie:You’vebeenworkingonit?Good.Whatdoyouthinkofmine?

HBBlonde:Ilikethem.

Robbie:Huh?

HBBlonde:Ilikethem.

Robbie:Oh!Theyarenice.

8:37

HBBlonde:IlikeLadyGaga.

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Robbie:IloveLadyGaga.<makeoutpause>Whatareyoudoingtome?<pause>Whatdoyousay,let’ssmokesomeHookah?

HBBlonde:Idon’thaveanyHookah.

Robbie:Ido!<pause>

HBBlonde:Sorry,lookingformyfriends.

Robbie:Comemeetmyfriends.

HBBlonde:Myfriends.

Robbie:What?

HBBlonde:Thesearemyfriends.

Robbie:Oh,righthere?

HBBlonde:Yea.

Robbie:Oh.Hello!

HBBlonde:Wherewereyou?

Robbie:Youguysshouldmeet,what’syourname?

HBBlonde:HewantstosmokeHookah?

Friend:Areyoulebonese?

Robbie:DoIlookit?

Friend:Noyoulook…

HBBlonde:Sowhere’sMegan?

Robbie:I’llberightback.

HBBlonde:Alright.

11:17

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TheNorwegians

00:14

Robbie:YouguyshavetobeSwedish…

HBNor1:Norwegian.

Robbie:Norwegian?Howclosewasthat?

HBNor1:That’sveryclose.

Robbie:Howlonghaveyouguysbeenhere?

HBNor1:Onlytwodays.

Robbie:Twodays?

HBNor2:Yea.

Robbie:Nice.

HBNor2:Yea.

Robbie:SothefirstthingyoudoisyoucometoSapora?

HBNor1:Ofcourse.

HBNor2:Yea.

Robbie:Seemsboring.Theydon’thavethesestoresinNorway?Comeon…

HBNor1:It’sexpensive…

Robbie:It’stoocold.IwasinNorwaynottoolongago,Iwasinthe,wellwhat’sthecapitalcalled?

HBNor1:Oslo.

HBNor2:Oslo.

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Robbie:Oslo?Iwastheretwice,andthenIwasintheonewithallthe,whatdoyoucall?<>

HBNor1:Yea.

Robbie:OntheNorthwestpartofNorway?Itwaslikea‐

HBNor1:<>?

Robbie:No,Iwouldknowthename…AreyouguysfromStockholm?

HBNor1:Nope.

HBNor2:<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Oh,notStockholm.That’swhatImeant<confidentialitymute>.ItwassomewhereontheNorthwestcoast,whereallthecruiseshipsgo?

HBNor1:<inaudible>

Robbie:WhenIwasthere,theyhadallthisshitaboutParisHilton.Like,allthetabloidstalkedaboutParisHilton.

HBNor1:Weloveher.

Robbie:YouguyslikeParis?

HBNor1:Yea.

Robbie:Yea,Iguess,right?Howlongyouguysherefor?

HBNor1:Twoweeks.

HBNor2:Twoweeks.

Robbie:Whatdoyouguysgotplanned?

HBNor2:We’reonaschooltrip.

Robbie:College?

HBNor1:Yea.

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Robbie:Youseemedalittlehesitant…

HBNor1:Wehaveall<inaudible>butit’sfreecollege.

Robbie:Soit’sdifferent?Verycool.Wellyouguysenjoy,haveagreattrip,cya!

2:10

Robbie:MissNorway.

HBNor1:Yea?

Robbie:Igottasay,ifIdidn’ttrytogetyournumberbeforeIleft,I’dbekickingmyselfallday.Wegottohangoutwhileyou’reintown…

HBNor1:Yea,we’reonaschooltrip,youknow?

Robbie:Soyouguysgotanytimeoff?

HBNor1:Yea,some,butnotmuch…

Robbie:Well,Ilivenottoofaraway,andwehavehousepartiesalot.

HBNor1:AreyouinSantaMonica?

Robbie:In<confidentialitymute>.It’sliketenminutes.

HBNor1:Yea?Icangetyournumber.

Robbie:Here,givemeyourphone,Icanputitin.DoyouhavelikeaUScell?

HBNor1:Norwegian,butitworkshere.

Robbie:Aww,cutepicture.Areyoueveninthispicture?

HBNor1:No.Thepictureismyfriends.

Robbie:Youhavesomebodyelsespicture,that’ssofunny.

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HBNor1:Yea.

Robbie:What’syourname?We’regoingtoleaveamessageforustogether,howaboutthat?

HBNor1:Wehavetopresslike,<inaudible>Idon’twanttousemoney.

Robbie:Textmessage.<Inaudible>.Givemethething,I’lltextyou.What’sthe…Whatisit?

HBNor1:It’s0047,<Inaudibleandconfidentialitymute>

Robbie:Whatwasyourname?

HBNor1:<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:That’sfunny,that’smynametoo,whataretheoddsofthathappening?Noit’sRobbie.

HBNor1:Robbie?

Robbie:Goodtomeetyou.

HBNor1:Verynicetomeetyou.

Robbie:Verystronghandshake,I’llseeyousoon,I’lltextyou,haveagoodone.

4:10

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TheTourGuide

00:12

Robbie:Doyouknowwhere<>is?

HBTourguide:It’saroundhere,nottoofar.I’mnottoosure.

Robbie:Okay.

HBTourguide:Whichway.Ithinkit’sonMainstreet.

Robbie:Areyougoingtolookitup?

HBTourguide:Ican.

Robbie:Haha,I’mjustplaying,it’scool.I’msuresomebodyelsewillknow,thanksthough…

HBTourguide:Lookingitupforyou.

Robbie:Youarethesweetest,Ishouldhireyouasatourguide,orsomething.

HBTourguide:Whereareyoufrom?

Robbie:From<confidentialitymute>.

HBTourguide:Oh.

Robbie:Ijustmovedhere,though.

HBTourguide:From?

Robbie:From<confidentialitymute>.

HBTourguide:Oh,okay.

Robbie:You?

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HBTourguide:<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Okay,likerightinthe<confidentialitymute>.Ohnice,howlonghaveyoulivedhere?

HBTourguide:Prettymuchallofmylife.Howlongareyouherefor?

Robbie:Youmeantoday?

HBTourguide:Youmovedhere?

Robbie:Imovedhere,yea,inDecember…

HBTourguide:Cool.

Robbie:Yea.

HBTourguide:Okay,Ifoundit.WhatbroughtyoutoLA?

Robbie:Um,somebusiness,<confidentialitymute>.Iwantedachange.Youeverspendmuchtimedownthere?

HBTourguide:I’vebeenthere,likethreetimestovisit…

Robbie:Yea.

HBTourguide:It’snice.

Robbie:ImeanIlivedinareallynicepartof<confidentialitymute>,butIwenttoschooldownthereandIwasjustalittlebitboredafter8years,<confidentialitymute>.Ineededmorefreaksinmylife,soImoved<confidentialitymute>.

HBTourguide:Findonethatwillopen,<confidentialitymute>.

Robbie:Itriedthatstuff.

HBTourguide:Youlikeit?

Robbie:Yea.Yousellit?

HBTourguide:Ido.

Robbie:Nice,how’sthatgoing?

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HBTourguide:It’sgoinggreat.

Robbie:Gotabigdownline?

HBTourguide:Overfourhundredpeople.

Robbie:Wow,whattypeofpassiveincomedoesthatbringin?

HBTourguide:Rightnowabout<confidentialitymute>amonth.Igetpaidweekends,too.

Robbie:That’sgreat.

HBTourguide:Yea.

Robbie:Howlongdidthattakeyoutobuildthatup?

HBTourguide:I’vebeendoingitsinceJuneoflastyear.

Robbie:Really?Youmustbeanaturalnetworker.

HBTourguide:Prettymuch.I’vebeendoingitalongtime,asfarasnetworkingIhavebeenanentrepreneurforthelast10years.Iwasinrealestatebefore.

Robbie:Sonowyou’rejustdoing<confidentialitymute>?

HBTourguide:Yea.

Robbie:It’sthewaytogo,youhavetodoabsolutelynothing.

HBTourguide:Whatdoyoudo?

Robbie:Um,professionalpokerplayer.

2:32

HBTourguide:Wheredoyouplayat?

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Robbie:Iplayaloton‐line.SometimesIgoouttothelocalcasinos,uh,commercecasino,thebike,allthosejoints.Hangoutwiththecrazypokerpeople.

HBTourguide:Yea,that’scool.IhaveafriendthatrunsapokerspotinDowntown.

Robbie:Ohreally?Likeaprivategame?

HBTourguide:Yea.

Robbie:Ohnice.What’sthegame,doyouknowhowbigitis?

HBTourguide:Thebuyin,anywherefromlike$200‐$500.

Robbie:Oh,cool.Doyoueverplay?

HBTourguide:No,Idon’tknowhowtoplay.

Robbie:Aw.

HBTourguide:Iwouldn’tmindlearning,itlooksfun.

Robbie:Yea.

HBTourguide:I’mnotmuchofagambler.

Robbie:Doyouneedapokercoach?

HBTourguide:Huh?

Robbie:Doyouneedapokercoach?

HBTourguide:Sure,youwanttoteachme?

Robbie:It’syourluckyday.

HBTourguide:IthinkIfoundit,it’sonMainSt.and…CrossstreetisMainst.

Robbie:ProbablyMainand‐

HBTourguide:Here,it’sNavyst.

Robbie:Whereisit?

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HBTourguide:NavyandMain.

Robbie:Youarethebest.

HBTourguide:Yougouptomain,yougottagonorth,andjusttakemainand‐

Robbie:Okay,thenIhitNavyandit’srightthere?

HBTourguide:Yea.

Robbie:Cool.What’syourname?


Robbie:Robbie.

HBTourguide:Robbie.

Robbie:Reallygoodtomeetyou.

HBTourguide:Youtoo.

Robbie:Givemeyournumberandwe’llsetupthePokersession…

HBTourguide:310<confidentialitymute>.Callmeifyouwanttocheckoutmyfriend’sPokerspot.

Robbie:Iwill.

HBTourguide:It’sanicespot,it’sapenthouseloftrightbyStaples.Theyusuallyhavegirlsthereservingdrinks,andfood…

Robbie:Sweet.

HBTourguide:Coolpeople,mostlyguysthatplay,usuallytwogamesatthesametime.

Robbie:HowdoIspellyourname?


Robbie:Iactuallyforgotitandthatwasmyslickwayofaskingforitagain…

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HBTourguide:Iknow,Idothesamething.

Robbie:<confidentialitymute>.Iwill.

HBTourguide:<confidentialitymute>.Ifyouwannacheckitout.

Robbie:Ilovethatstuff,ittastesreallygood.

HBTourguide:Yea,Isellitatcost.Idon’tsellitatretail,whatdistributorspayforacase.Ifyou’reinterested,Isellitfor$100acasewhichislike$50offthenormalprice.

Robbie:Ohnice,myfriend’salreadygotmesignedup.

HBTourguide:714?

Robbie:Yea.

HBTourguide:Oh,soyou’reinthebusinessalready.

Robbie:Iam.

HBTourguide:Areyoudoingit?

Robbie:Notreally,Ijustdoittoenjoyit.

HBTourguide:Yea.Robbie?

Robbie:R‐O‐B‐B‐I‐EKramer.

HBTourguide:WithaCoraK?

Robbie:WithaK.


Robbie:What’syourbackround?

HBTourguide:I’mColumbian.

Robbie:I’vemetsomanyColumbianpeoplerecently.YouguysareallmigratingIguess…

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HBTourguide:I’vebeenheresinceIwasabout3,I’mawest‐sider,soyeaifyouneedatourguide…We’llexchange.

Robbie:Awesome,PokerforTourGuide,Ilikeit.

HBTourguide:Yea,Ihavealotoffreetime,sinceIdon’thaveajob.

Robbie:Iknow,<confidentialitymute>,myjobisbasicallyon‐line.

HBTourguide:Great.

Robbie:Greatmeetingyou.

HBTourguide:Alright,youtoo.

6:04

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WannagotoVegasandGetMarried?

00:14

Robbie:Noyawning…

HBVegas:<inaudible>.Idon’tlikeyourhat,though.

Robbie:Thisconversationiswaytooserious.Whoa!

HBVegas:Itwasserious.

Robbie:WannagotoVegasandgetmarried?

HBVegas:Tonight?

Robbie:Yea,rightnow.

HBVegas:Um,butIhavesomethinggoingoninthemorning,though.Maybenextweekend?

Robbie:Nextweekend,okay.SoIjustgottaletyouknow,Iamgonnabethestayathomedad,andyou’regoingtomakethemoney.

HBVegas:What?

Robbie:You’regoingtomakethemoney.

HBVegas:Idon’tknow.

Robbie:Why?Comeon!

HBVegas:Ijustdon’tknowifthat’sgoingtoworkforme.

Robbie:IpromiseIwillonlyplaygolffourtimesperweek,andyoucan‐

HBVegas:ButIplaysixtimesperweek.

Robbie:Youplay?

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HBVegas:Iplaytennis,sono…

Robbie:Youplaytennis?

HBVegas:Ohthatworks…

Robbie:Butyou’regoingtohavetomakethemoneytopayforthebabysitters.

HBVegas:Idon’tknow!

1:30

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Insider Transcript 2010 03

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Transcript of Insider Transcript 2010 03