In Search of a Song Volume 311

8/6/2019 In Search of a Song Volume 311

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SherisseAlvarez


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~~~~~~~~ AWaterways ProjectPublicationSherisse

Alvarez Richard SpiegelBarbara Fishercodirectors

Thomas Perryadministrative assistant

Stephen E. PhillipsSuperintendent,

Alternative High Schools &Programs

1997 Ten Penny Playerswith funding suppOrt fromthe NY State Council on the Arts


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EmptySometimes when you speakin that monotonous tonguemy ears become numbYou discuss meaninglessnesswith your vacant phrases

. until you realizethat I have been quietfor an eternityThen your voice softenscoaxing me, or yourselffor the loss of meYou know I have stopped listeningstopped searchingtrying to get used to the youthat was hardly there---~~The brief scent of your fleeting breaththat barely sustainedmy arms and legs and head

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StruggleFor att the young w om en

living w ith an eating disorderThe overwhelming oasisof self-discoveryTo look inside the souland search for meaningDistorted thoughts of usdenying our blessed partsWe've learned to eat our own wasteand at times,we even think we like the tasteOf standing, staring into mirrorstime and time againbegging for a tantalizing truthof who we areWe only know how to painwe ache, but we cannot screamEmpty, with only vacancy to embracewe've learned how to love this place

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LucidityThe contours of your faceremind me of the rolling hillsthat flow discretelyinto the dancing watersI would like to give my souland let the remains of mekiss the earthso that I may devour yoursWould you give yourself so completelyto a woman as mad as I?Tell me please, so that I may knowand perhaps still sleepinmy own blessed bedBut if you agreeI will not let fear drown meI will taste death and know whyLook into me with your vicious eyesand destroy the devil that dwells inside

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6/18

Mother, EarthI have lost my entire sense of selfin you; Mother, EarthI have forgotten my shoessomewhere in the bitter pavementI have been stripped of my clothingbeneath these adolescent eyes of skyIs it possible to purifythis crucified spiritor is it necessarythat this shattered soul dieSo that the broken bodymay be reconstructedof your selfish pleasureso that it may commence again

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7/18

Reborn, reinventedfrom inside the wombfrom within the bleeding breaththe aching lipsIn your painabruptly torn from ecstacyinto this world called hellI see; you, Mother, Earthcan offer no consolationbecause you, yourselfhave been stripped of your identityYou too have been beaten and rapedand have been forced to the groundon your aching kneesI see; you, Mother, Earthcannot offer mewhat you, yourse1fhave not been given

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SacredThe sensuousness that isrevealed in your lipsTo touch your velvet handsand know wha t they mean

To taste the serenityin the shadow of your soulI forget all that I ambecause I know that I mayWithin your sacred placeI know that I am guidedThis is what was intendedThis is what is good

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9/18

I am in lovewith the depth of your being

You have emptied meand filled me againWhisper to me those sweet wordsand help me remember who I amI think I have forgotten once again

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10/18

I give my soul to the earth todayas I stand in the rainand Let the versespour out from meAn afraid hand, mercifulembracing this flesh and bloodpiece of paperI am not above itit is but a part of meI die and am reborn within itwith integrity, passion, willingnessI want to be buriedin the rain, in the poemMy soul alivemy body without a speck of lifeJust entombed with my versesbeneath these cruel skies of america

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11/18

WordsThe words gather in the palateand somehow, I forget to speakIcannot explain what these tears signifywhy they run and wet my cheeksand never learn to ceaseIcan't explainbecause they rob me of all feelingof all life of all sensationThey leave me helplessstaring into the eyes of youMute, hearing your questionsunable to answerThe words still trapped at the throatswallowing the breaththat does not escape the lips

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12/18

The soul becoming numbthrough the cries and chokingof the passionate tongueI can't seem to simplifythe complexi ty of usI've stopped trying to understandthe mystery of your handsAnd the ritual of our love-makingthat buries me deeper into oblivion

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Stomach SongThe green of your seedtrees have begun growingIn your belly of achebreak the cravingLips sucking juiceoff the table and windowPain in the tastefulwake sleep day nightTime has become my enemycan't you see it's all make-believeYou !ike to play with methere'll be a bittersweet melodyUnfinished rhapsodies too prettyto be sung by meCan no longer touch my feettreat me politely

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14/18

I will smile with pink bowstied to strands of my hairStairs in the attic scare meDare me to closeThe door still squeaksand Isee the face peeking inSide with the monsterhe'll never touch my Barbie undiesHoney, you're such a...Sluts on sticksdo you want to touchDick's wearing a dress todaymy name is BabyCake's in my headset on licking the toiletBowls filled with sweetpi's on the floor

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ChildhoodFor Kareen

The sweet morning rayssleep upon your raw skinAnd yet your eyesare unawareYou dreamof adolescent pastures,honey rain,and kisses on the foreheadfrom the mother who fedfrom the breast of lifeHer facea bitter chocolatemelancholic tonguesweetly speaking of sin


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This childhoodrevisited by youin yearning, in needof replies to questionsunanswered

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For Kareen

I am taken awayby the stories of your pastA rage that dwellsin skinin lipsin breastsin a body of blackRaped by the evilsthat destroyed your existenceThat stole the lifeas they ripped your soulThat let you lie in tormentas you ached deliberatelyThese are the mothers and fathers and godsthat gave you lifeonly to take it away

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r.'. ~............. -t.

In Search of a SongVolume 311

~~~YiY~A Waterways Project Publication

In Search of a Song Volume 311

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Transcript of In Search of a Song Volume 311