Grief, Loss & Separation Pwp Trandolph
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- 1. Grief, Loss & Separation for Child Welfare
WorkersFacilitator Pamela J. Randolph MS
2. Grief, Loss & Separation for Child Welfare Workers
Grief is the pain of loss, all-encompassing, overwhelming,
all-consuming.It is without boundaries.It can not be
constrained.
It is about feeling abandoned and about fears of severed
connectedness, even when in the work place.Suicide of a client
and/or their family member is as traumatic.
We hang onto our grief's, regrets, what-ifs, and why didnt
Is.
3. Grief, Loss & Separation for Child Welfare Workers
Death is as much a part of life as birth. At birth we are brought
into the world of the living. In death, we are brought into
eternity.
Loss is a natural part of life. The loss is not necessarily the
loss of in death but also in separation of by divorce,
distance/relocation, a child leaving home, robbery,
retirement/lay-off or termination, illness, aging, rebellious
children.
In grief, a persons stability is shaken after being in a life
altering situation for a matter of time.
4. Grief, Loss & Separation
5. Grief, Loss & Separation
Grieving is that period in which a person experiences a wide range
of emotions for an indefinite period.
While in foster care, children who have been closely related to the
case worker by workload and supervision have formed an attachment
regardless of the time.
For most people the grief is defined by the loss of the
relationship.
6. Grief, Loss & Separation
Observations
Admissions
7. Grief, Loss & Separation
Observations
Death may end life, but it need not severe the bond.
Suffering is not measurable.
Each loss is terrible and each loss is the worst.
Loss is to have no longer time than needed.We search for it, we
long for it, we ache for what could have been.
Loss through death seems so/is permanent.
Admissions
The end of mourning makes itself known.
Loss sets the stage for further creation.
We feel we are being punished for a crime we did not commit.
Mourning is a process which can not be rushed.
Losses cannot be prepared for.
8. Grief, Loss & SeparationPhases of Grief:
Grieving is a process of overlapping phases, which may be
experienced and re-experienced, but are eventually resolved.People
can move back and forth through the various phases of grief.
Dr. Erich Linderman, a Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard
University wrote a paper entitled Symptomology and Managementof
Acute Grief and he notedthe importance of assisting grieving
individualsto work through the grief process.He further noted
people have five very distinctive reactions to grief which are: 1.
Somatic distress, 2. Preoccupation with the image of the deceased
person, 3. Guilt, 4. Anger reaction, and 5. Loss of pattern of
conduct.
9. Grief, Loss & Separation
Westbergs Ten Stages of Grief:
Shock phase
Emotional Release
Depression, Loneliness/Isolation
Somatic Symptoms of Distress
May become panicky.
Sense of personal guilt about the loss.
Anger and resentment.
Resists returning to normalcy.
Hope gradually emerges.
Struggle to reaffirm reality.
10. Grief, Loss & Separation
Phases of Grief:
11. Grief, Loss & Separation
In her 1969 book, On Death and Dying (MacMillian, 1991), Swiss
psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler ~Ross sets five stages of grief:
1.denial and isolation, 2. anger towards God 3. bargaining, 4.
depression as an emotional response, and 5. acceptance.
12. The Mayo Clinic maintains that adult grief predominantly
involves four reactions:
1. Shock, numbness, and disbelief.
2.Pining, yearning and sadness,
3. Acceptance of loss, and
4. Resolution.
Minirth et al. (pp. 315-322) identifies six phases involved in the
grief process which has been adapted from the work of Kubler~Ross
which are
1. Shock/denial
2. Anger turned outward
3. Depression, i.e,
4. Bargaining
5. Sadness, and
6. Forgiveness, resolution and acceptance.
13. Grief, Loss & Separation
Although no two people grieve alike, most people experience
emotional mood swings that include several emotions, often mixed,
but especially feelings of despair.Sometimes emotions rise higher
than other times when effected by triggers.Regardless of being age
or an adult or child, it happens.
14. Child Welfare Workers
When a child in foster care dies it can reek havoc on the
community, the agency, the administration, the case worker, and the
caregiver, as well as the family whom the child was removed from
custody.Many times the feeling of blame is shed on each entity
regarding the death of the child.
15. Recommendations for the bereaved
Randolph offers five recommendations for the grieving individual
who can follow to resolve their grief:
1. Acknowledge the grieving process, the hurt felt and recognize
the life of those still left to serve, love and protect.
2. Seek to be free from the pain by relinquishing denial.
3. Surrender memories and painful emotions by securing good
memories and tangible memories.
4. Take Action by saying goodbye to the lost.
5. Pray daily God grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom
to know the difference.
Minirth et al., (p. 231) set out several recommendations for those
progressing through grief.
1. Express your emotions.
2. Verbalize your goodbyes.
3. Keep and live the spiritual code of life.
4. Do not make any major decisions during the first your of
personal life however move forward with loss of a child in foster
care to make the best sound decisions for the family.
5. Maintain physical health with adequate nutrition, rest, and
sleep.
6. Keep relationships with friends and family alive.
7.Cry when needed, yes even over a family member involved in your
case.It is healthy to release so you can move forward with your
work. If neededask for a brief allotment of time to process the
death.
16. Tips to Follow.
Grief of loss and separation is normal and natural.Grief involves
physical and emotional responses. Grief is hard work and takes a
lot of energy to process. Dont stop the process before it is
finished. Share your feelings with someone you trust.Have realistic
emotions for yourself.Deal with loss one day at a time.Time does
help however does not heal all wounds of grief and loss.Seek
professional help with a licensed/certified counselor if
needed.Seek appropriate resources such as meetings and reading
materials if needed.
17. The Road Unknown
18. Grief, Loss & Separation
Determine how to make you smile again by:
Taking time away if needed.
2. Talk to people you trust.
3. Seek emotional counseling, visit with an Employee Assistance
Program.
Talk to your Supervisor for support.
Exercise and rest.
Write in your journal.
Seek spiritual counseling.
Celebrate the life of the person who you lost or separated
from.
Find your passion and dedicate time to it.
Have clarity in your decision making and make conscious, sound and
reasonable efforts in the workplace, with people as well as
withyour family.
Do not ignore the signs of depression.
Listen to comforting music.
Take a drive with the windows down.
19. The End
Please complete your evaluation forms and leave the on the
table.
Your certificate will be delivered to your office.
Thank you for attending this session of Grief, Loss &
Separation.
20. Pamela J. Randolph
Pamela received professional degrees from the following schools
including aBachelor of Arts degree from Philander Smith College
(Home Economics/Sociology/Business Administration), Master of
Science (Addiction Studies and Counseling) degree from the
University of Arkansasat Pine Bluff, andis currently pursuing a PhD
degreefromTexas Woman's University (Family Studies with an emphasis
in Adolescent Counseling Programs) in Denton, Texas. She also
completed several programs, trainings in numerous areas including
"Train the Trainer" Facilitation, Professional Speaking Guild, and
Global Career Development Facilitation in which is an Honorary
Doctorate degree. Pamela has a number of published and unpublished
manuscripts to her credit.She is currently a Professor and Field
Trainer at Philander Smith College in the Social Work
department.
21. Bibliography:
Dr. Erich Linderman, Symptomologyand Management of Acute Grief,
Harvard University.
On Death and Dying.
Elisabeth Kubler~Ross, M.D. 1991
MacMillian & Scribner Publishing
On Life After Death .
Elisabeth Kubler~Ross, M.D. 1993
MacMillian & Scribner Publishing
Introduction To Chaplaincy Guide 2006, pages 134-145.
Minirth et al. ppgs. 321-323
Introduction to Chaplaincy Guide
Westberg , ppgs. 315-322.
Introduction toChaplaincy Guide