Grace Under Pressure

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE:Navigating life’s stresses

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Our lives can often feel like we’re living in a pressure

cooker.

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Pressure pushes in from every side.

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And these everyday pressures produce stress.

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What kind of tools can help you deal with stressful events, and their accompanying fall out?, ie. negative feelings,

thoughts and actions.

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Definition of a stressful event:

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A Stressful EventCan be AnythingThat is Beyond

Our Control

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Common Events

Little Frustrations

Other Peoples’ Behaviorwork

Health Issues

The Computer

money

misunderstandings

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OUR PURPOSE IS...

...learning to process life events using Biblical truths and examples to help us navigate life’s stresses

well.

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Remember that stress, or any painful experience, has a

purpose.

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OUR HOPE IS... to use daily stresses as opportunities for

growth and change.

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OUR GOAL IS...is to become wise women.

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WISDOM:Japanese character for wisdom translates to “chi” or knowledge

and “megumi” or grace.

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What happens when we are under stress?

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EventValues Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts

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Event

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Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts

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Lose Control

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

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Event

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2

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops

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Event

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2

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1

Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops

RelationshipsDeteriorate

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops


TryHarder

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Biblical Tools for Stress Management

Keeping God at the Center of Life

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops


TryHarder

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Pray:Acknowledge and Submit to

God’s Sovereign Control Over All Events

Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:6, Luke 22:42

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops


TryHarder

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Three Strategies for Managing Feelings

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1.Think: Tell yourself the truth


Text

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The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. ~William James

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Are there thoughts thatneed to be challenged?

Philippians 4:8

1. Tell yourself the truth


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ACTIVITY: Check the FactsDoes your emotions fit the

situation?

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2. Do What is Right


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Are there behaviors that need to change?

Genesis 4:6-7

2. Do What is Right


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Activity #3: Taking action

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3. Be honest with feelings


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Are there feelings that need to be shared?

Psalm 62:8, 142:1-4, 55:22

3. Be honest with feelings


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2. Action: Do what is right3. Feeling: Be honest with feelings

1.Think: Tell yourself the truth

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ACTIVITY #4: Journaling“If you want to change the

world, pick up a pen.”~Martin Luther

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1. THINKING - HEAD

3. FEELING - HEART2. DOING - HANDS

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Thinking - Doing - Feeling

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops


TryHarder

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Strategies for Managing

Self-Concept

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Physical Appearance

Possessions

Performance

Professions

Position

Power

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Grace

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Law

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Law Sin

“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20

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Law

Grace

SinSunday, July 6, 14

Grace

Grace Applied to Ladder Thinking:1. The Ladder and Common Grace2. The Ladder and Saving Grace3. The Ladder and Sanctifying Grace4. The Ladder and Serving Grace

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Discussion: How do I know when I’m “ladder” thinking?

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Godly Self-Concept:The Bottom-Line Defense

• Practices of positive self-concept:– Focus on action– Living consciously– Self-acceptance– Self-responsibility– Self-assertiveness– Living purposefully

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Self-Concept manifested in the Church:• Connectedness (smalls groups)• Giftedness (unique qualities)• Empowerment (accessing the HS’s help)• Role models or mentors (godly women)• Calculated risk taking (“I can do all things

through Christ who strengthens me.”)

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Event

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Lose Control

NegativeFeelings

Self EsteemDrops


TryHarder

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Building Godly Relationships Through:

1. COMMITMENT2. COMMUNICATION3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION

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WORKING TOGETHER1. COMMITMENT to


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COOPERATION

• RETALIATION• DOMINATION• ISOLATION

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2. COMMUNICATION


at HEAD and HEART levels

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COMMUNICATION

• BONDING at HEART Level

Connecting Emotionally

Share Care

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COMMUNICATION

• CONNECTING at HEAD Level

Sharing Ideas &Sharpening Thoughts

Proverbs 27:17

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Thinking LevelReality Testing

Person 1Sharing Hearing

Responding&Person 2

Feeling LevelSharing & Caring

Person 1 Person 2

Ideasof

Sharing

Feelingsof

Caring

Feelingsfor

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FeelingPerson 1

Person 2

Thinking

Heart Level

Head Level

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ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES

IsolationDependency

Co-dependencyControl

Manipulation

DistanceSilence

ColdnessUncooperative

Enmeshment

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ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES

Isolation Enmeshment( )Interdependency

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3. CONFLICT


RESOLUTION

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Strategies for Conflict Resolution

Distinguish betweenTHINKING and FEELING

levels of communication

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Thinking Level Strategies

1. Clarify. Don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Listen to what they are saying. Keep communication

open. Ask questions. Draw out hisor her thoughts.

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2. Don’t attribute motives to the other person.

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3. Negotiate. Compromise. Collaborate. Accommodate.

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4. Agree to disagree. Reaffirm your commitment to the person and

your relationship with them.

Say, “I respect you, and I want to retain a good relationship with you, I don’t want this to come between us. I respect your

opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.”

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Feeling Level StrategiesFor Unresolved Conflict

Held Hurts Become BarriersWE HIDE & WE HURL

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1. Identify the hurts in both persons.

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2. Express concern for the other person’shurt. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, I want you to know that I care about your feelings.”

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3. Take responsibility for your part in causing the other person’s hurt by asking forgiveness. “Will you forgive me for…”

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4. Forgive the other person for what you have been holding. “I forgive you for…I don’t want this to be a barrier in our relationship any longer.”

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5. Manage your leftover feelings to the glory of God. a. Tell yourself the truth. b. Do what is right. Act out love.

c. Share feelings with God.

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CONCLUDING REMARKS:

How is your tool belt?

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Stress Management:“ I happen to believe that good

stress management is as much a matter of spirituality as it is of self-disciple...faith can play a major role in determining how

chaotic our lives become.”

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FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

TAKEN FROM:“Spiritual Antidotes for Stress”

ANXIETY CUREby Dr. Archibald Hart

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Jesus: Model of Unhurriedness

“Having a spirit of unhurriedness is the essential foundation for the tranquillity we need to protect us

from the ravishes of anxiety.”

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Learning the practice of unhurriedness:

Jesus modeled balanced priorities, modeling calmness and

composure.Matt. 11:28

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Healthy faith fosters protection from stress.

Jesus’ life can teach us a lot about spiritual antidotes for stress,

Mark 4:38

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CLOSING ASSIGNMENT:

Luke 10:38-42

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Strategies for Stress Management

1. Monitor Your Stress Reactions 2. Identify Stressful Events 3. Apply Biblical Principles 4. Control What You Can 5. Keep a Realistic Schedule 6. Have an Exercise Program 7. Strong Devotional Life 8. Functioning Support Network 9. Healthy Conflict Management 10. Balance and Boundaries

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The Rest Road83

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The “how-to” of making good choices?

The Biblical concept of rest is often presented as two choices.

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The stress way...“Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for

the eternal paths,where the good, old way is,

and you will find rest for your souls.

But they said, “We will not walk in it.”

~Jeremiah 6:16 (AMP)

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How to “test” the path?Step 1: Pray for wisdom/

discernment.Step 2: Is this the best

stewardship of my time, money, energy, etc..

Step 3: Fear of man/fear of God test (Prov. 29:25).

Step 4: Is this an area I need to draw a boundary?

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If you are still uncertain...

Brainstorm Activity: Use your table mates and find out what they’ve found to be helpful in this area.

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Acknowledgements:

Power Point: “Stress”, Adapted from (and used with permission) by Lee Hotchkis

Books:“Stress Mess” by Lee Hotchkiss

“Anxiety Cure” by Dr. Archibald Hart“Boundaries” By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John

Townsend 88

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Grace Under Pressure

Spiritual

Transcript of Grace Under Pressure