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ArticleMessage from Tarun Nehra, Head of Operations iON Platforms

Assessment Infrastructure Update

ACTiON October 2014

Zonal UpdatesZero Defect LISP - Top Achievers

Happenings @ iONGuest Lectures & Industrial VisitStudent Internship ActivitiesExtra Curricular Activities / Team outing

Customer Testimonial / Guest Column

Fun WorldTechie Jokes

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January 2015

Dear iON Partners,

Greetings!A hassle-free examination process remains the primary objective of our eorts at the iON division. We have been working towards a zero defect exam delivery model right from start and have taken several steps in this direction. These include regular LAN audits and LAN upgrades, power audits, and strengthening of our processes and solutions to enhance candidate experience. We will continue these eorts and solicit your valuable co-operation in our journey towards a zero defect exam delivery system.

Conducting exams is a serious as well as a sensitive business. Stringent processes need to be adhered to without fail. We must remain agile and watchful right from the moment candidates enter the exam centre until the time they complete the assessment and leave the premises. Laser sharp focus is required on thorough document checking and invigilation to enable a fair examination process. This is an important criterion to be recognized as partners of repute in digital assessment. We at iON are committed to building a robust solution and processes which will enable you to do so.

We are working towards improving the digital assessment process in the country and have aggressive business plans for the upcom-ing scal year FY16. We value your support and co-operation and we will strive to take the partnership to higher levels in the years to come.

The market is witnessing a huge surge in the demand for digital assessments and prestigious academic institutions are reaching out to partner with us for the same. In order to cater to this growing demand, we are now partnering with institutions on an exclusive basis for a ve year duration. This would give TCS iON sole rights to conduct digital evaluations at these nodal centers all year round.

Apart from digital assessments, at TCS iON, we have built several other exciting products targeted at the education sector including the below:

Digital Evaluation: A solution that enables digital evaluation of answer scripts Campus Management Solution: One stop solution for all your campus automation needs Critical Data Management System: Online application management system for easy ltering and management of applications Smart Degree and Past Data Management: Solution for degree certicates with e-verication capabilities and management of bulky data in paper/digital modeLearning Exchange: A platform for creating and maintaining education communities

Our endeavor is to ensure that these products bring signicant benets to your institution. We foresee exciting times for our partnership as we continue to take large strides in the digital evaluation sphere.

We look forward to many more years of a mutually benecial association and wish your institution the success that it deserves.

Tarun Kumar NehraHead of Operations iON Platforms

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Assessment Infrastructure Update

With a strong commitment to providing quality IT infrastructure, TCS iON has invested in establishing Digital Assessment Process Zones & Centres across cities in the country. Some of the locations where these centres are already operational include:

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, FIT, Purnea, Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, VVIT, Purvea, Bihar

Vivekanand Global University, Jaipur, Rajasthan

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, RVS College of Engineering and Technology, Jamshedpur, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, RTCIT, Ranchi, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, NSIT, Bihita, Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center, Patna, Bihar

TCS iON is further establishing over 1.50 lakh nodes across 150 cities with dedicated assessment infrastructure, in association with colleges and business partners through the IRM (Infrastructure Rental Model) program.

We welcome our esteemed LISPs to partner with us in this Computer Based Assessment revolution and be part of this aggressive growth program. The future, after all, belongs to all of us.

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ FIT , Purnea , Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ VVIT, Purnea, Bihar

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Assessment Infrastructure Update

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @Vivekanand Global University, Jaipur

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ RVS College of Engineering and Technology, Jamshedpur, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ RTCIT,Ranchi, Jharkand

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TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center @ Patna, Bihar Dedicated 1900 Nodes infrastructure

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center @ Patna, Bihar Dedicated 1900 Nodes infrastructure

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Assessment Infrastructure Update

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ NSIT, Bihita , Bihar

ACTiON October 2014

ACTiON 2014: Marching together towards successACTiON 2014 was held on a grand scale on October 22 and 23, 2014 at The Renaissance in Powai, Mumbai. The event proved to be a valuable knowledge sharing platform that brought together the operations eld force. Packed with interesting and thought provoking sessions, it oered the operations team insights into new trends and concepts, and provided an excellent opportunity to share their knowledge and experiences.

ACTiON began with a motivational video followed by an informative session on Zero Defects Guaranteed, presented by Cdr. Sudhir Sharma, Venguswamy Ramaswamy, Anil Pant and Tarun Nehra.

In his felicitation speech, Swamy commended the iON assessment team for their impressive growth in going from 250 to 1000 members, and for achieving a signicant increase in revenues. He also congratulated the team on reaching the milestone of providing over two crore assessments, making them the largest assessment providers in the world. The additional feathers in their cap include the successful evaluation of 16 lac answer sheets, and the development of 1,00,000 non-duplicable and tamper proof degree certicates.

The highlights of the event included talks by key customers, Mr. Rohit Kapur - CAT Convener 2014, and Mr. S K Choudhury - Professor, Department of Mechanical Engineering GATE. They appreciated the exemplary support they have received from TCS, and shared their expectations and plans for taking the online Assessment Lifecycle Management engagement forward.

N. Chandra CEO, TCS and Chaitanya Sathye VP, TCS addressed the audience on the signicance of employee safety. Chandra also spoke about his expectations from iON as a company, and how these can be translated into action.

Day two began with a session by Venguswamy Ramaswamy, Anil Pant, Sudhir Sharma, Neeraj Malik, Tarun Nehra. Swamys presentation on Prep Test emphasized how iON is a pioneer in the market in driving innovations through technology. Speaking at the event, Mr. Bhattacharya - Director of IBPS, appreciated the contributions of iONians.

The event concluded with an inspiring session by the HR team on the theme The road to success is always under construction.' They brought the curtains down on ACTiON 2014 on this high note - When you believe all the way that success is your only option, you take every possible step to ensure that failure is not a possibility. Success is 100 percent your responsibility - yours alone.

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Moments of ACTiON 2014

Mr. N. ChandraCEO and Managing Director, TCS

It is not easy to create a business from scratch and get it to a stage that it is slowly becoming world class.

Mr. S. K. ChoudhuryProfessor, Department of Mechanical Engineering,GATE

We are happy with the accuracy,zero defect and with the enthusiasm that TCS has conducted GATE in last few years.

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ACTiON October 2014

Moments of ACTiON 2014

Mr. Rohit KapurCAT Convener 2014

Only TCS can handle such big massive examinations.

Mr. Venguswamy RamaswamyGlobal Head of iON, TCS

With 2 crore plus candidates assessed, we areworlds largest assessment providers.

Mr. BhattacharyaDirector of IBPS

I get comfort interacting with TCS other than any of the service providers.

ACTiON October 2014

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Zone

North 1

North 2

Zero defect LISP

Zonal Updates

Zero Defect LISP - Top Achievers

Delhi NCR - IIMT Group of Institutions, Meerut

East 2

South1

OmDayal Group of Institutions, Howrah

South 2

VIT Campus, Jaipur

Lyallpur Khalsa College of Enginnering, Jalandhar

Uttar Pradesh Pranveer Singh Institute of Technology, KanpurBBD Nothern India Institute of Technology LucknowIntegral University Lucknow

East 1

JharkhandRVS college of Engineering and Technology, JamshedpurRTC Institute of Technology, RanchiOxford Public school, Ranchi

OrissaRegional College of ManagementVignan Institute of Technology & ManagementRipplesoft Pvt Ltd

KarnatakaDayanand Sagar Institutions,BengaluruVidya Vardhaka College of Engineering,MysoreAmruta Institute of Engineering and Management Sci,Bengaluru

United AndhraAditya engineerng College, KakinadaCMR Institute Of Technology, HyderabadJagarlamudi Kuppuswamy Choudary College, Guntur

Aalim Muhammed Salegh College of Engineering, ChennaiKCG College of Technology, ChennaiDhanalakshmi College Of Engineering, ChennaiAkshaya College of Engineering and Technology, CoimbatorePSNA Engineering College, MaduraiMahendra Engineering College, SalemManakula Vinayagar Institute and technology, PondicherryArasu Engineering College, TrichyLoyola Institute of Technology and Science, TirunelveliDr. B.R.Ambedkar Institute of Technology, Port Blair

West 1

West 2

Atmiya Institute of Technology and Science, RajkotSri Balaji Society, PuneCentre Point College, Nagpur

Corporate group of institutes, BhopalRungta group of institutes, RaipurNRI institute of technology & management, Gwalior

BiharSashiganga InfotechPrayas Janshikshan SansthanVivekanand Institute For Computer and Electronics Technology

UttrakhandAmprapali Group of Institutions, HaldwaniUttranchal Institute of Technology, DehradunJB Institute of Technology, Dehradun

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Rajasthan

Uttar Pradesh

Punjab

Happenings @ iON

Guest Lectures & Industrial Visit

Date : 12th Nov 2014Name of Speaker : Mr. Tarun NehraTopic : Industry Expectations from StudentsVenue : Shoolini University City/State : Solan, Himachal Pradesh

LISP Name : ANA CollegeNo. of Student Participant: 30 Scheduled Date : 22rd Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vishal Seth & Mr. AbhishekTopic : Soft SkillsCity/State : Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : MITNo. of Student Participant: 35 Scheduled Date : 23rd Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vishal & Mr. VaibhavTopic : Soft Skills and Overview on TCS iONCity/State : Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : Gulzar Group of Institutes No. of Student Participant: 25 Scheduled Date : 8th Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr. Ranjeet (Prof IFTM) Topic : JAVA TechCity/State : Khanna, Punjab

LISP Name : Buddha Institute of TechnologyNo. of Student Participant: 100 Scheduled Date : 5th Sep 2014 Speaker : Mr. Piyush SinghTopic : Emerging BusinessCity/State : Gorakhpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : Sityog Institute Of TechnologyNo. of Student Participant: 120 Scheduled Date : 5th Sep 2014 Speaker : Mr. Piyush SinghTopic : Emerging BusinessCity/State : Aurangabad, Bihar

LISP Name : Astric Center of ExcellenceNo. of Student Participant: 50 Scheduled Date : 1st Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Arijit DasTopic : IT Industry DemandCity/State : Patna, Bihar

LISP Name : Siwan Engg CollegeNo. of Student Participant: 80 Scheduled Date : 4th Sep 2014 Speaker : Mr. Anand ChoudharyTopic : Use Of InternetCity/State : Siwan, Bihar

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LISP Name : Vidya Vihar Institute of TechnologyNo. of Student Participant: 110 Scheduled Date : 11th Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vishal & Mr. VaibhavTopic : Current Industry DemandCity/State : Purnea, Bihar

LISP Name : Calcutta Institute of Engineering and ManagementScheduled Date : 20th Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr. Md. FaisalTopic : Personal and communication SkillCity/State : Kolkata, West Bengal

LISP Name : Swami Vivekananda Institute of Management & Computer ScienceScheduled Date : 17th July 2014 Speaker : Mr. Kushal Banerjee & Mr. Biplab Sarkar Topic : Grooming for IT industryCity/State : Kolkata, West Bengal

LISP Name : Vidya Vardhaka College of EngineeringNo. of Student Participant: 35Scheduled Date : Sep 2014 Speaker : Mr. Aravind S & Mr. NarendraTopic : Soft Skills and Cloud ComputingCity/State : Mysuru, Karnataka

LISP Name : AMC CollegeNo. of Student Participant: 35 Scheduled Date : Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Ravindra MTopic : Cloud Computing and DataBase/StorageCity/State : Bangalore, Karnataka

LISP Name : Nalla Narsimha Reddy Engineering CollegeNo. of Student Participant: 15 Scheduled Date : Nov 2014 Speaker : Mr. Dinkar Guggilla & HR TeamTopic : Soft Skills and Overview on iON Digital SolutionsCity/State : Ghatkesar, Hyderabad

Happenings @ iON

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LISP Name : K. J. Institute of Engineering & TechnologyNo. of Student Participant: 17 Scheduled Date : Oct 2014 Speaker : Technical Session on JAVA - Ms. Khanjan Patel HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet BanerjeeTopic : Technical Session on JAVA, HR, Personality Development, iON, TCS OverviewCity/State : Savli, Gujarat

Happenings @ iON

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LISP Name : JVIMS - KBS MCA JamnagarNo. of Student Participant: 16 Scheduled Date : Sep 2014 Speaker : Technical Session - Mr. Khanjan Patel, HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt Personality Development - Mr. Deepak Verma (L&D Dept). iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala, TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet BanerjeeTopic : Technical Session on JAVA, HR, Personality Development, iON, TCS OverviewCity/State : Jamnagar, Gujarat

LISP Name : Sarvajanik College of EngineeringNo. of Student Participant: 19 Scheduled Date : Sep 2014 Speaker : Technical Session on SAP - Mr. Shail Vora HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt, iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet BanerjeeTopic : Technical Session on SAP, HR, iON, TCS Overview, Video Keepers of FlameCity/State : Surat, Gujarat

LISP Name : FIET/FIMTNo. of Student Participant: 15/20 Scheduled Date : 18 Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr AliTopic : Cloud ComputingCity/State : Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : CMC Academy/ HansrajNo. of Student Participant: 15/32 Scheduled Date : 25 Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr Vishal & Vaibhav & SandeepTopic : Online Assessment & Interview TipsCity/State : Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : CMC Academy/ Hansraj/ CSAISTNo. of Student Participant: 20/50/30Scheduled Date : 26 Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vishal, Mr.Vaibhav & Mr. SandeepTopic : IT and Non IT Career GrowthCity/State : Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : Rohilkhand UniversityNo. of Student Participant: 50 Scheduled Date : 22nd Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vishal Seth & Mr. AbhishekTopic : Soft SkillsCity/State : Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : MIT and IndraPrasth Institute of Tech No. of Student Participant: 20 Scheduled Date : 13th Oct 2014 Speaker : Mr. Vaibhav, Mr. Hemant & Mr. RahulTopic : Group Discuusion (Online and Oine Exam)City/State : Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : MIT/IFTM No. of Student Participant: 35/60 Scheduled Date : 5th Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr. Deepak & Mr. ShailendraTopic : Cloud ComputingCity/State : Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : UIT No. of Student Participant: 60 Scheduled Date : 12 Aug 2014 Speaker : Mr. Faizan & Mr. AliTopic : Cloud ComputingCity/State : Allahabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : Krishna CollegeNo. of Student Participant: 60Scheduled Date : 16 Aug 2014 Speaker : ROM/SPOCsTopic : TCS and AssessmentsCity/State : Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : CMC Academy/ HansrajNo. of Student Participant: 30/50Scheduled Date : 11 Jul 2014 Speaker : Mr. Khatri & Jhansi TeamTopic : J2EE City/State : Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : PSITNo. of Student Participant: 60Scheduled Date : 12 Jul 2014 Speaker : ROM/SPOCsTopic : TCS and AssessmentsCity/State : Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name : Kongunadu Engineering CollegeScheduled Date : 1st Aug 2014 Speaker : Ms. Cynthia NimijaCity/State : Tiruchirappalli, Tamil Nadu

LISP Name : Aarupadai Veedu Institute of Technology Speaker : Mr. Diwakar PathriTopic : Architecture, Software Systems and Green ComputingCity/State : Chennai, Tamil Nadu

Student Internship Activities

Happenings @ iON

Award Ceremony Program Sep 2014, iON Interns, Gurgaon RegionAward Ceremony Program Oct 2014, iON Interns, NJR Institute, Udaipur, iON InternsKhalsa College lyallpur Institute of Management and Technology, Punjab

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LISP City

Radharaman Group of InstitutionCorporate Group of InstitutesSanghavi Institute of Managment and ScienceMalwa Institute of Science & TechnologyGlobal Group of InstitutionsVikrant Group of InstitutionNRI College of Engineering and ManagementAlpine Institute of TechnologyRaipur Institute of Technology RaipurChouksey Engineering College BilaspurChhatrapati Shivaji Institute of Technology DurgTakshshila Institute of Engineering and TechnologySri Aurbindo Institute of TechnologyIndore

BhopalBhopalIndoreIndoreJabalpurGwaliorGwaliorUjjainRaipurBilaspurBhilai/DurgJabalpurIndore

Happenings @ iON

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Extra Curricular Activities / Team outingA Day Filled with Fun: iON Platforms Team, Tamil Nadu and Pondicherry Go On a Memorable Outing

The iON Platforms team had a successful outing the last time, but this long-awaited outing was more special. The outing with the team on 12th December signied the end of 2014 and the beginning of the New Year with a fresh start!

I had just returned early that morning from Madurai and was on my way home, eager to get to the party, albeit in a wet yet pleasant weather. I received a call from a member of the senior leadership team, Diwakar, aah, Good Morning. I just wanted to conrm if the outing is on since it is raining? It is on for sure maam, hope to see you for lunch, I replied. A moment later, I messaged the entire team. Great weather team, lets head to the beach, time to have a fun lled day. Lets be there on time!

120 of us from the iON Platforms team left from ILP by two buses to Jade Beach resort. Karthick had the foresight to arrange for the safe arrival of the rest of the TN and Pondicherry teams. The teams made it to the destination despite the fact that the government run intra- state buses were on strike that day. We reached the resort in time for an hour long address by Wilson and me. We discussed the need to focus and work together as one team and exchanged thoughts for positive action. Topics ranging from process, projects, IRM, zero defect guaranteed, peace of mind not guaranteed and fresh hope for our personal selves in 2015 were discussed. This was followed by a session lled with a whole lot of team games and activities.

After relishing a delightful spread for lunch, we moved on to have real fun at the auditorium in the resort with competitive games! Four teams were formed ensuring a harmonious mix of divisions. The repertoire of activities included antakshari, skits, singing, dancing, and an unforgettable, high decibel whistling competition that left me suering from an ear disorder for the rest of the day.

All the activities were conducted with pomp amidst shrills of laughter! Wilson, I and a member from the senior leadership team (a judge with veto powers!) judged the performances. Team members were awarded points based on various parameters with the aim to promote participation. The teams, at times, were also asked to judge each other. The performances were outstanding and showcased the prolic talents of the team members. Everybody was a winner in his own right and therefore, no winners were announced. Finally, it was time to draw curtains on the event as the day was coming to a close. We distributed laddoos before breaking for the grand group photograph. Sweet memories for everyone to cherish! We headed back to ILP and from there proceeded to our respective homes, braving the abusive city trac with the torrential rain adding to the adventure.

The outing was a rejuvenating experience. We look forward to more such events to understand our teams better and gain the energy and motivation for greater accomplishments!

Guest Column

Industry visit (Mumbai location) for sta and students Value added programs for sta and student Students exposure to industry best practices, business processes and implementation Enriching the infrastructure and also personnel by conducting these high stake national level examinations Financial support in the form of sponsorship for conduction of national level programs and events Brand building of the Institute by showcasing the potential infrastructure to aspiring candidates and many more

Dr. Chandrani Singh, Jt. Director, MCA and Placement Head (MCA)Sinhgad Institute of Business Administration and Research

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The Government of India in recent years has laid down an extensive roadmap to digitize every business process in the country, right from passport issuance and income tax ling to digitization of high stake assessments. To accomplish this lofty goal, the Government has chosen to partner with the worlds leading IT giant, Tata Consultancy Services (TCS). Sinhgad Institute of Business Administration and Research, Pune also has a role to play in this mammoth venture. The institutes team is thrilled about helping the Government as well as TCS promote digitization in a major way. Sinhgad Institute of Business Administration and Researchs liaison with TCS iON completed two years as of January 2015. Based on this robust relation-ship, senior management at the institute have identied a few strategic benets derived from partnering with the business giant. They have also put together some observations about TCS to help guide stakeholder learning and decision making in the future.

The rst observation is that customer satisfaction has always been TCS main priority. To achieve a high level of customer satisfaction, the TCS team works with utmost dedication, sincerity and accuracy, irrespective of the size and scale of the examination. Such dedicated care and attention provided by the sixth largest global IT rm by revenue to even the smallest of the customers is really something worth applauding. Yet another observation is the awless and totally transparent assessment process executed by the iON unit every single time. The last but not the least observation has to do with their digital assessment mechanisms that have never failed - either in performance or load - over the two years of our association. These observations have come as a learning to the team from the institute, and helped them to initiate process renements and improve execution eciency across various academic processes. The other tangible benets received by the fraternity of the institution, some being mutually benecial, include:

Industry - Academia partnership to craft Digital India

Fun World

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Ocer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a

year, depending on the benets package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of ve weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car

leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

A man ying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes hes lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a

hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this eld." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "every-

thing you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you dont know where you are or where youre going, but you expect me to be able to help. Youre in the same position you were before we met, but now its my fault." back in again

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier

saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the

friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to dene "Great" he said, "I want to write stu that the whole world will read, stu that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stu

that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computertechnology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles

to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Murphy's Laws of Computing a. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. b. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

c. The rst place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to nd it. d. When the going gets tough, upgrade. e. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. f. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

g. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. h. If at rst you do not succeed, blame your computer.

i. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just ne.

j. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. k. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want

to do.

Techie Jokes

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Editorial Board: Fawzan Azami, Akshat Sharma, Ayush Rungta, Neelesh Ruia & Vijoy, Feedback: Akshat.sharma1@tcs.com