Safe Haven Sunday Equipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

Office of Marriage and Family Life

Office of Safe Environment

March 1, 2020

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2020

Safe Haven SundayEquipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

Implementation Guide

Office of Marriage and Family Life Office of Safe Environment

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Equipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

Safe Haven Sunday is celebrating its second year of raising awareness

throughout dioceses and parishes in the United States regarding the

negative impacts of pornography on individuals, marriages, families and

society.

Safe Haven Sunday is a weekend set aside by dioceses and parishes to

directly address the harms of pornography in an appropriate way. Within

the context of the Mass, dioceses and parishes are able to provide teaching

and resources that will support individuals, marriages and families in

making all homes a safe haven.

It is inspired by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ formal

statement Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to

Pornography, in which they explain, “The use of pornography by anyone

in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative

effects throughout a family’s life and across generations.”

Implementing Safe Haven Sunday is accomplished by following the

included step-by-step instructions.

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Frequently Asked QuestionsQ. What is Safe Haven Sunday?

A. It is a weekend within the liturgical calendar selected by the diocese or parish to

directly address the harms of pornography and to provide resources to support and

protect individuals, marriages, and families in overcoming pornography and making

their homes safe.

Q. Why is Covenant Eyes involved with Safe Haven Sunday?

A. Covenant Eyes is committed to creating faith-based resources that foster the virtue

of chastity and the tools to overcome pornography use and addiction (their flagship

service is Internet Accountability and Filtering). Safe Haven Sunday is one of the

many resources Covenant Eyes has developed to assist U.S. dioceses and parishes

implement the USCCB’s formal statement Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral

Response to Pornography, one step at a time.

Q. Is Safe Haven Sunday an annual initiative?

A. Yes. It is an annual initiative that is to occur in the life of a diocese and/or parish on

a selected weekend to educate and form individuals, marriages, and families on the

harms of pornography. New implementation materials will be designed every year that

will reflect the annual theme to assist diocesan and parish leaders with the promotion

and implementation of Safe Haven Sunday.

Q. What is the 2020 theme for Safe Haven Sunday?

A. This year’s theme is Equipping the Family, Having Critical Conversations, using thebook Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure.

Q. Is Safe Haven Sunday implemented at the diocesan or parish level?

A. Both. This is a weekend that can be initiated by a diocese and/or parish. The

diocese plays a leading role in the weekend, primarily by way of communicating

necessary actions to implement the weekend and at the same time spearheading

communication with the parishes and the public. The parish role is to provide

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communications to parishioners and implement Safe Haven Sunday, and provide

this year’s educational resource, Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online ExposureQ. What role does the parish priest have in the implementation of Safe Haven

Sunday?

A. This effort is designed to be led primarily by the parish priest. He will be provided

all the tools to make Safe Haven Sunday a success, including homily helps, general

intercessions, prayer card, bulletin blurbs and insert, as well as the opportunity to

purchase educational resources to distribute to parishioners, which includes theFamily Resource Packet. This packet contains the Covenant Eyes’ prayer card andbook, Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure, which is available in

both English and Spanish, and a free seven day text-to-opt-in program, also

available in English and Spanish, provides practical tips that adults can take to

create safer digital environments. Throughout the book, readers are encouraged

to sign-up for the seven day text-to-opt-in program by texting SECURE to

66866.

7 Day Email Chart:

1

2

3

Adults receive “Confident” as they leave Mass.

From the book, text the word “secure” to 66866

Automatic enrollment into seven days of emailed digital tips.

Email topics

Immediate: Introductory VideoDay 1: YouTube Restricted ModeDay 2: Understanding AppsDay 3: iPhone RestrictionsDay 4: Google Safe SearchDay 5: The Importance of AccountabilityDay 6: Social Media and TeensDay 7: Critical Conversations

Also available in Spanish!

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Q. Who sets the date for Safe Haven Sunday?

A. The diocese sets the date for their diocesan implementation. All parishes in the

diocese celebrate Safe Haven Sunday on the same day. This year's date will be the

weekend of February 29, 2020-March 1, 2020.

Q. What costs are involved with Safe Haven Sunday?

A. The only cost involved is the purchasing of the Family Resource Packet ($2.25/per packet, which includes sales tax). Parishes place the order by using the Resource Packet Diocesan Order Form provided in the Implementation Guide. The Office of Marriage and Family Life will collect the order forms and checks, and then provide one check to Covenant Eyes for the Family Resource Packets.

Order forms are due December 6, 2019.

Q. How can I get my other questions answered as they arise?

A. Please contact the Office of Marriage and Family Life at 337-261-5653 or email

Kelley Chapman, kchapman@diolaf.org

Q. How will our Family Resource Packet arrive at our parish?A. All Safe Haven Coordinators will pick up their parishes family resource packets on Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 9:00am, Immaculata Center, 1408 Carmel Drive, Lafayette. If for some reason, your coordinator is unable to pick up your resources, please call the Office of Marriage and Family Life at 337-261-5653.

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The following section provides suggested steps that could be

taken at the parish level leading up

to and during Safe Haven Sunday weekend.

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Parish Implementation Steps

Getting Started

• Mark your calendar for February 29-March 1, 2020 to celebrate Safe Haven Sunday in the parish.

• Read or revisit this year's main education resource for Safe Haven Sunday, Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure

• Meeting with parish Pastoral Council to discuss Safe Haven Sunday in the parish and how the council may be involved in rolling out the program.

• Parish priest informs parish of the initiative through its normal communication channels.

• Submit order form (included in this implementation guide) to the Diocese of Lafayette Office of Marriage and Family Life by December 6, 2019. You may submit the order form by mail, fax or email. Office of Marriage and Family Life1408 Carmel DriveLafayette, LA 70501337-735-9442 Faxbsimon@diolaf.org

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One month before• Pick up the parishes family resource packets for the parish on February 1, 2020, at

9:00am, Immaculata Center, 1408 Carmel Drive, Lafayette. If you are unable to pick up your resources at this time, please email the Office of Marriage and Family Life, kchapman@diolaf.org.

• Parish promotes Safe Haven Sunday on parish website including an optional interview with parish priest and/or parish representative on the parish initiative.(include all social media outlets for the parish)

• Select volunteers for the following areas:

• Distribution of the Safe Haven Sunday prayer cards

• Distribution of Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure. Designate where volunteers are to stand when distributing the books after the vigil Mass as well as Masses on Sunday.

• Prepare bulletin blurb designated for two weekends prior to Safe Haven Sunday

Parish Implementation Steps

Two weeks before• Confirm bulletin blurb for two weekends prior to Safe Haven Sunday in the

upcoming week's printing of the bulletin.

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Parish Implementation Steps

One week before• Include bulletin blurbs designated for one weekend prior to Safe Haven Sunday

in the upcoming week's printing of the bulletin.

• Access and print the Safe Haven Sunday resources, including the example General Intercessions, Homily Helps, and bulletin inserts, all to be used during the next weekend's liturgies. This includes additional prayer cards, if you are printing them in house. Additional prayer cards bought through the Office of Marriage and Family Life will be given out with your Family Packets.

• Place copies of Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure at church exits and place Safe Haven Sunday Prayer Cards in the pews in preparation for next weekend.

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During Safe Haven Sunday• Include the Safe Haven Sunday bulletin insert and bulletin blurb for the weekend

of Safe Haven Sunday.

• Before opening song, during the Homily, or at the end of Mass (Before the blessing), the parish priest may read the letter from Bishop Deshotels and may preach on suggested themes found in Safe Haven Sunday Homily Helps.

• Lector reads the Safe Haven Sunday General Intercessions.

• At the time for concluding announcements, the parish priest may share that Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure will be distributed to every household in the parish and where the books will be distributed. An explanation of the book and the seven days of e-mailed digital tips may be explained at this time.

• Following Mass, please distribute bulletin with Safe Haven Sunday insert included and the book Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure.

Parish Implementation Steps

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The following section provides suggested resources that could be used in order to implement Safe

Haven Sunday at the parish level. Please visit our website;

www.diolaf.org/safehaven; for printable resources.

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Printable Resources

Bulletin Blurbs Bulletin Insert

Equipped Book Diocesan

Order Form

General Intercessions

Homily Sample Prayer Card for Parishioners

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Bulletin Blurbs

Weekend Prior to Safe Haven SundaySafe Haven Sunday—Equipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

The constant flood of influence that comes through the internet and social media in all of its various forms, along with social pressures from peers make it difficult for children to live virtuous and holy lives. In the digital age, it’s not a matter of if your child will see something inappropriate online. It’s only a matter of when. And regrettably, internet pornography is teaching our children how and what to think about sex and marriage. Next weekend, February 29th - March 1st, the Diocese of Lafayette will be celebratingour second annual Safe Haven Sunday. This weekend of awareness will provide free resources to you to give you confidence for how to talk to your children about internet dangers, as well as their personal online and offline choices.Please join us with your prayers and presence as we prepare for this unique event. To learn more, please visit diolaf.org/safehaven.

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Weekend of Safe Haven SundaySafe Haven Sunday—Equipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

The most powerful tool we have when it comes to teaching our children about the

beauty of their sexuality in the digital age is conversation. Real, honest, “look them

in the eyes” conversations about their deep questions. In the digital age, passive

parenting is not an option—the internet never rests.

Bishop Douglas Deshotel has set aside this weekend, February 29-March 1, 2020, to

celebrate our second annual Safe Haven Sunday in order to provide free resources

to assist you with confidently talking to your children about internet dangers, as well

as their online and offline choices.

Safe Haven Sunday is celebrated through prayer and reflection within the context of

the Mass. After Mass, each individual and family will be given Covenant Eyes’ most

recent book, Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure. This book

includes a free seven-day text-to-opt-in program that provides practical tips for

caring adults to create safer digital environments for themselves and young people.

Simply text SECURE to 66866 to begin receiving guidance today!

Thank you for celebrating with us! If you have any questions about this awareness

weekend, please contact the parish office or visit www.diolaf.org/safehaven

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Weekend after Safe Haven SundayA Big Thank You to Everyone Who Helped Make Safe Haven Sunday a Success!

Special thanks to everyone who helped make Safe Haven Sunday possible!

Thank you also to the parish community for your openness to the topic of pornography

awareness and internet safety.

Safe Haven Sunday provided us with the opportunity to give focused time and

resources to address the harmfulness of pornography and other online threats to

marriage and family life.

Even though Safe Haven Sunday is over for this year, our efforts to support you in

making your homes safe havens will continue. We invite you to stay informed at

www.diolaf.org/safehaven, and learn more about how to protect and guide your family in the

internet age.

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The next page is the bulletin insert for Safe Haven

Sunday

Safe Haven SundayEquipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations

The constant flood of influence that comes through the internet and social media in all of its various forms, along

with social pressures from peers, make it difficult for children to live virtuous and holy lives. In this digital age, it’s

not a matter of if your child will see something inappropriate online. It’s a matter of when.

Parents have the biggest influence on their kids’ behaviors—more than their friends, school, or parish church. It’s

time to put that influence to use and have much needed conversations with your children.

Learn more about how to talk to your kids about internet dangers by reading Covenant Eyes’ most recent book,

Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure (provided in the back of church on Safe Haven Sunday).

Then, join a free seven-day text-to-opt-in program that provides vital practical tips any caring adult can take to

create safer digital environments for themselves and young people. Text SECURE to 66866 to begin receiving

guidance today!

Office of Marriage and Family Life Office of Safe Environment

Diocese of Lafayette Office of Marriage and Family Life

1408 Carmel Drive Lafayette, LA 70501-5298

(337) 261-5653 (337)735-9442 -Fax

Safe Haven Sunday Family Resource Packet Order FormFamily Resource Packets are $2.25 per household (Tax is included). Please send your parish Safe Haven coordinator to pick up the parishes order on Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 9:00am, Immaculata Center. Each Family Resource Packet will include the following:

• One copy of "Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure" booklet• Free 30 day trial at covenanteyes.com• 7 Day email challenge to make sure your devices are protected from viewing pornography

• Prayer card

Please indicate how many Family Resource Packets you would like to purchase for your parish families.

Please complete and return as soon as possible.(No later than December 6th)

Packet pick up: February 1, 2020 at 9:00am, Immaculata CenterParish Name: _____________________________________________________________ City: ______________________________phone number: _________________________Parish Safe Haven Coordinator: _______________________________________________ Email address: ____________________________________________________________

Total amount: $___________ Check #_______________

If for financial reasons, a parish requires assistance with the purchase of these materials, please contact the Office Marriage and Family Life, 337-261-5653.

Requested # of Packets (English): ____________ x $2.25/each = _____________

Requested # of Packets (Spanish): ____________ x $2.25/each = _____________

Requested # of English Prayer Cards(packs of 25): _____x $1.75/each=___________

Requested # of Spanish Prayer Cards(packs of 25): ______x $1.75/each=__________

Additional Prayer cards may be downloaded and printed in the parish. If you would prefer us to print the additional prayer cards for you, please indicate how many packs of ADDITIONAL Prayer Cards for your pews.

Extra prayer cards are $1.75 for a pack of 25.

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General Intercessions

Prayers to be added to Parish’s Universal Prayers/Prayers of the Faithful.

For all leaders in government and in our Church, that they may lead with wisdom

reflecting the Church’s teaching on human dignity and sexuality, we pray to the Lord.

Lord, hear our prayer.

That the values of our faith may guide us in creating homes that are safe havens for our

families, we pray to the Lord.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For those who suffer from addictions, that they may seek support and come to know

God’s healing, we pray to the Lord.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For those who struggle with pornography, that they will come to an appreciation

of human dignity and experience conversion of heart which Christ offers, we pray

to the Lord.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Homily Sample: First Sunday of Lent

“The priest shall receive the basket from you and shall set it in front of the altar of the Lord, your God.” (Deuteronomy 26:4) What’s in the basket? It is to be filled with the first fruits of the first harvest in the Promise Land. After 40 years of subsistence living—now they would harvest food for a life-time of feasting. If there would ever be a time for God’s people to exude gratitude, it would be at the first harvest in the land of milk in honey.Right here-during the offertory-the priest receives the basket and sets it in front of the altar of the Lord, as if we are re-enacting this scene from the book of Deuteronomy. When the basket is brought to this altar, we make an act of faith in us. We trust that our gratitude is born of sacrifice and in right proportion to the blessings we have received. If our gratitude falls short of sacrifice and we have slighted God by keeping too much for ourselves, then we have been tempted by the devil in the desert of our world.Today is the First Sunday of Lent. Lent is a time for us to accompany Jesus to the desert where he can heal and strengthen us. Today is also Safe Haven Sunday, a time to face the reality that our lives are filled with threats to faith and family, threats that can be mitigated and conquered by allowing Jesus to shape our hearts and to fill us with the gratitude that accompanies sacrifice.Safe Haven Sunday begs us to answer this question: Is your home a safe haven foryour children and grandchildren? For all who cross the threshold of your front door?How many of us would leave our children on the roof of the house and hope for the best—not to mention the parapet of the temple? It would be foolish to teach them risky behavior that may end in their harm. If we give children devices that have access to the internet—unsupervised, unfiltered and with no accountability—we are falling short of our promise to care for them and to keep them safe. Our homes become deserts of danger and temptation rather than the safe haven that nourishes, encourages and protects them.

keep them safe online and in the real world.As the offering is brought forward today, we trust that we offer to God gratitude inproportion to the blessings we have received. We trust that we will protect the purity of

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If your child is like the average child and if they are between the ages of 8-12 they are spending 6 hours a day using digital devices; 41% of that time is on a mobile device.These devices are amazing tools but also dangerous playgrounds. We would not setchildren on the peak of 200 foot tall temple with no safety rails, nor can we allow adigital world to have unrestricted access to them, to hijack their sexual developmentand pervert the beauty of our God-given sexuality.Consider again the basket by which we offer to God a thanksgiving sacrifice of thefruits of our labor. Children are a gift from God. We owe them safe homes and a plan to keep them safe online and in the real world.As the offering is brought forward today, we trust that we offer to God gratitude inproportion to the blessings we have received. We trust that we will protect the purity of God’s greatest blessings, the children entrusted to our care.

1. Chris McKenna, “Apps and internet doorways: What parents need to know,”Covenant Eyes, June 10, 2016. Accessed November 5, 2018, from https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/10/apps-and-internetdoorways-what-parents-need-to-know/

Safe Haven Sunday Homily Video Year 2

https://vimeo.com/299435046/5400a5511d

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Letter from Parish Priest to Parishioners

[Insert date][Insert feast day]

Dear friends,There have been many occasions throughout the course of this year where so many of you have communicated your prayers and support for me as your pastor. I am constantly humbled by your expressions of love and gratitude. Thank you! It is now my turn to once again offer my support to you and your families.As your pastor, I am available to guide you in the life of faith. I am available to celebrate the Sacraments, rejoice with you in happy times, and cry with you during the most difficult of times. I am also available to help you with anything that is keeping you or your families away from growing in the spiritual life and developing a deeper relationship with Christ and his Church. One issue that is becoming more and more difficult for individuals, marriages, children, and families as a whole is the struggle with pornography. Regrettably, pornography can impact both children and adults spiritually, emotionally, physically and relationally. As you work hard to protect your families, I want to equip you with the appropriate tools to form, protect and guide your families on this specific issue. Thus, on March 1st, we will be celebrating the second annual Safe Haven Sunday with the theme “Equipping the Family: Having Critical Conversations.” As you may recall, Safe Haven Sunday finds its inspiration in the U.S. Bishops document Create in Me a Clean Heart, wherein they state, “The use of pornography by anyone in the home deprives the home of its role as a safe haven and has negative effects throughout a family’s life and across generations.”

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When a parent discovers his or her child or teenager has been looking at pornography, it can be alarming, hurtful, and even frightening. In the confusion of the moment, it is important for parents to understand that these are not uncharted waters. In the back of the church, I will provide you with a full, step-by-step guide for Catholic parents on how to navigate this difficult situation.

Once again, this awareness weekend is meant to draw our attention as a parish community to the seriousness of the issues of pornography and to recommit ourselves to take steps to ensure our homes are safe havens for all. I encourage you to begin learning now by texting SECURE to 66866 to receive seven days of free emailed digital tips.

I look forward to celebrating our second annual Safe Haven Sunday with you next weekend!

Through the intercession of the Holy Family of Nazareth, intercessors of the home, and Saint Michael, I am,

[Insert signature]

[Insert name]

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Prayer Card for Parishioners

(actual size of card is 5x7. These will be professionally printed by the Diocese and will be included in each family resource packet.)

Note: The icon depicting Saints Joachim and Anne (Parents of Mary, the Mother of

God) embracing inside the Holy House was written by iconographer Reverend

Father Thomas J. Loya, Tabor Life Institute. Printed with Permission.

Front: Back:

Safe Haven Sunday A Prayer for Individuals and Families

Loving Father,

Thank you for the gift of marriage and family life. We entrust to you our home, where our marriage and family lives and grows. We ask you to make it a safe haven for all who live and enter

these walls. May our home truly be a holy place for both young

and old to be formed in the truth regarding life, love, sex, and

marriage. May each of our members be protected from and

guided in seeking to avoid pornography, while embracing the

freedom and purity of life in Christ.

If there are past wounds that have occurred due to the availabili-

ty of pornography on our family’s devices, lack of awareness of parents, or because of indifference, we ask you to send forth

your Spirit to heal, bless, renew, and consecrate this home as a

safe haven with your son Jesus Christ at the center of our lives,

today, tomorrow, and always.

We ask this through the intercession of the Holy Family of

Nazareth, Saints Joachim and Anne, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Amen.

Diocese of Lafayette Office of Marriage and Family Life 337-261-5653

Office of Safe Environment 337-735-9439 1408 Carmel Drive ~ Lafayette, LA