Equallyoked - Social Mores - Civil identity - Social psychology - Liberal Arts

““EquallyokedEquallyoked””

Two Shall Become One!

So, Now What?

Liberal Arts and HumanitiesLiberal Arts and Humanities

(Equally Yoked)(Equally Yoked)

……what “what “EndogamyEndogamy” means…” means…

EndogamyEndogamy means, “in-marriage” – and is means, “in-marriage” – and is when an individual – according to his/or her when an individual – according to his/or her own social customs… own social customs… (comment: this maybe more like (comment: this maybe more like community (psychosocial) health, such as, a ‘social mores’ or even an community (psychosocial) health, such as, a ‘social mores’ or even an actual practiced religious ‘law’)actual practiced religious ‘law’)…. ….

……..marries an another individual within his or marries an another individual within his or her own cultural “Social group”*. her own cultural “Social group”*.

*Note; a “Social group” … a tribe, a sect or cult, or a *Note; a “Social group” … a tribe, a sect or cult, or a even a even a de facto de facto ‘Civil Identity’,..‘Civil Identity’,..

- Sociocultural Anthropology

……the “the “HomogenousHomogenous” ” CoupleCoupleMutually Favorites:Mutually Favorites:

MusicMusic

ArtArt

FoodFood

RecreationRecreation

Laugh at Same JokesLaugh at Same Jokes

Share in Favorite Share in Favorite RestaurantsRestaurants

Seeks similar Seeks similar Entertainment and Entertainment and Movie Genres Movie Genres

Seeks same Vacation Seeks same Vacation Spot DestinationsSpot Destinations

Marriage, Family, and Child Psychology

They ‘like’ the same….

…more of a colloquial term…

……Understanding theUnderstanding theTermsTerms

• ““Equally-yoked”Equally-yoked”– Social ScienceSocial Science – i.e., Clinical Social Psychology – i.e., Clinical Social Psychology

Defined: A Dyadic (Spouses) with the Same ‘Civil Defined: A Dyadic (Spouses) with the Same ‘Civil Identity’ Identity’

• ““Equally Yoked”Equally Yoked”– ReligiousReligious – i.e, Holy Bible /Christian /Doctrinal – i.e, Holy Bible /Christian /Doctrinal

Defined: A Couple with the Same ‘Civil Identity’ with Defined: A Couple with the Same ‘Civil Identity’ with a focus on Same Religion and a focus on Same Religion and the Same ‘Spirit’ especiallythe Same ‘Spirit’ especially. .

• ““Equallyoked”Equallyoked”– SecularSecular – i.e, Social Ethics /Justice /Social Mores – i.e, Social Ethics /Justice /Social Mores

Defined: A Homogamous ‘Pair’ with the Same ‘Civil Defined: A Homogamous ‘Pair’ with the Same ‘Civil Identity’ Identity’

Note:Note: Pronounced the same and colloquially used Pronounced the same and colloquially used interchangeably - practically meaning the same to all.interchangeably - practically meaning the same to all.- Lexicon: Definition of Terms

““Civil Identity”Civil Identity”

‘Civil identity’ is a Social Psychology term – describing an individual’s collective of features concerning his or her presentpresent:: ethnicity, political party membership, race, color, religious membership, disability/handicap, age/generation, (proper) sexual orientation, and marital status.2

Also, see “Self-identity”Also, see “Self-identity”

-Social Psychology/Self and Identity

Biopsychosociocultural ModelBiopsychosociocultural Model

Biologic

“Civil Identity”

Psychologic Social Culture

Sex

Disability

Color

Race

Disability EthnicityMartial Status

Belief/CreedSex

Race

Color

FOOTNOTEFOOTNOTE:: To a lesser or greater degree of mental disability always coexists with any physical disability and so it is therefore that with a mental disability a physical disability or a

biochemical imbalance is coexistent-affecting/or effecting an individual’s ‘civil identity.’

Social

Religion

Martial Status

+sexual pleasure preferences

PoliticalPartyPoliticalParty

-Social Psychology/Self and Identity

““Civil IdentityCivil Identity11””

- Ethnicity: Ethnicity:

- Politics: Politics:

- ReligionReligion: :

- Race: Race:

- Color: Color:

- Age: Age:

- Sex: Sex: FemaleFemale

- Sexual Sexual (pleasure (pleasure preference)preference) Orientation:Orientation:

- Marital status: Marital status:

“Civil Identity” is actually a unique mosaic of one’s present: Ethnicity, Political Party, Race, Color, Religion, Disability, Sex, Sexual (Pleasure Preference) Orientation, Marital Status, Family Status, …..

- Ethnicity: Ethnicity:

- Politics: Politics:

- ReligionReligion: :

- Race: Race:

- Color: Color:

- Age: Age:

- Sex: Sex: MaleMale

- Sexual Sexual (pleasure (pleasure preference)preference) Orientation:Orientation:

- Marital status: Marital status:

““Civil IdentityCivil Identity22”

-Introduction to Sociology: Soc101

……understaunderstanding nding basic “Social Mores”basic “Social Mores”

……a basic rule within a specific cultural groupa basic rule within a specific cultural group

Obedience to this cultural group’s rule – results in Obedience to this cultural group’s rule – results in formal and casual social acceptance…formal and casual social acceptance…

..the foundation of all community laws within a ..the foundation of all community laws within a culture began with a specific social mores..culture began with a specific social mores..

In order for there to be a continuance of culture such In order for there to be a continuance of culture such social mores are formally and casually observed…social mores are formally and casually observed…

Social mores are r/t mental and social wellbeing..Social mores are r/t mental and social wellbeing..

Socialization, childrearing, marriage, and mate Socialization, childrearing, marriage, and mate selection are founded up good social mores. selection are founded up good social mores.


……. Social Mores. Social Mores:: +|+|--““Equallyoked”Equallyoked”

Good self-esteemGood self-esteem Spiritual maturitySpiritual maturity

– a high level morality

Social resilienceSocial resilience Stable family valuesStable family values QualityQuality of relationship of relationship Financial securityFinancial security

““Unequally yoked”Unequally yoked”

False self-imageFalse self-image Drug abuse implicatedDrug abuse implicated Immaturity/immorality Immaturity/immorality Lying/deceptionLying/deception Fun over factsFun over facts Destruction of family Destruction of family lineage lineage

-Social Psychology: SocPsy202

……mmoralityorality and Social Moresand Social Mores

The definition of morality and ‘Social Mores” has The definition of morality and ‘Social Mores” has changed and evolvedchanged and evolved into a more multifaceted into a more multifaceted meaning – meaning –

Good mental health values Good mental health values expressed openlyexpressed openly… … Social manifestationSocial manifestation of intrinsic positive moral of intrinsic positive moral

codes… codes… – e.g., positive existential and/or spiritual ideologies,

Extrinsically…Extrinsically…positive social customs and norms: positive social customs and norms: – Proper social conduct and manners, – Polite meaningful social etiquette, and… – Positive social standards of behaviors

Acceptable Acceptable health habitshealth habits that comprise a ‘healthy that comprise a ‘healthy lifestyle’ and are binding for optimal wellness and lifestyle’ and are binding for optimal wellness and longevity longevity yet differ according toyet differ according to individual group. individual group.

-Social Psychology: SocPsy303

..having a Look at Morality..having a Look at Morality

A Check List:A Check List:

Sensibility about Moral valuesSensibility about Moral values

Identify certain Habits and lifestyleIdentify certain Habits and lifestyle

History of abiding in proper Social MoresHistory of abiding in proper Social Mores


……so, what Now?so, what Now?

Beware Beware of: Any potential ‘Equally Yoked’ of: Any potential ‘Equally Yoked’ (Equallyoked) Help Meet (Equallyoked) Help Meet WHOWHO does… does…

……NOT want to meet, and..NOT want to meet, and.. ..Become acquainted with....Become acquainted with.. ..Your family of origin, or.. ..Your family of origin, or.. ..Your relatives,....Your relatives,.. ..and…..and…


……is a is a SloppySloppy Dresser DresserUnless your ‘Equally Yoked’ Help Meet is on Unless your ‘Equally Yoked’ Help Meet is on

a deployed night mission or on a police a deployed night mission or on a police SWAT team, BEWARE of those dressing in SWAT team, BEWARE of those dressing in ‘very very dark’ solid colors such as… ‘very very dark’ solid colors such as… ……all blackall black::

..coat....coat.. ..shoes&socks....shoes&socks.. ..pants....pants.. ..shirt..shirt&&t-shirt..t-shirt.. ..hat!..hat!

A NinjaA Ninja

A ‘Cat’ BurglarA ‘Cat’ Burglar

Motorcycle MilitantMotorcycle Militant

A Witch in CostumeA Witch in Costume

……doesn’tdoesn’t Get Along with Parents Get Along with Parents

..Never Calls home..Never Calls home

..Never Writes to relatives..Never Writes to relatives

..Never VISITS family..Never VISITS family


..acquainted with ..acquainted with ShadyShady Characters Characters

……peers were prison cell matespeers were prison cell mates

..has gangster/or organized crime-..has gangster/or organized crime-associatesassociates

....hangs outhangs out with Street people or those with Street people or those who are involved in illegal actswho are involved in illegal acts


……tells tells Off-ColorOff-Color Stories Stories

..blurts out with a sense of Ill-humor..blurts out with a sense of Ill-humor

..tells unusually perverted tales..tells unusually perverted tales

..is full of ..is full of OffbeatOffbeat Jokes Jokes


...brags/has a ...brags/has a ShiftyShifty-- lifeworklifework

..has a history of Unemployment

..has been “Fired” from a good job

…has Quit a job or walked off

..has no shows to work


..gives a lot of ..gives a lot of Hard-Luck StoriesHard-Luck Stories

..about being a crime victim..about being a crime victim

..about lack of love or affection..about lack of love or affection

...about having NO money...about having NO money


……makes Excuses/or Apologies alotmakes Excuses/or Apologies alot

……Sorry, doesn’t have the Time Sorry, doesn’t have the Time

..other People are making me do it..other People are making me do it

..short or low on Money (no money)..short or low on Money (no money)


……definitely is a “Blamer”definitely is a “Blamer”

..finding faults in other people..finding faults in other people

....PlaysPlays the ‘blame’ game alot the ‘blame’ game alot

..has a loud 5..has a loud 5thth columnist attitude and is an columnist attitude and is an anti-government activistanti-government activist


……tendency to tell tendency to tell LittleLittle Lies Lies

..criticizes others - to look (self) better ..criticizes others - to look (self) better

..Exagerates a little to gain something..Exagerates a little to gain something

..tries to ..tries to cover upcover up something something


……is a is a PettyPetty Cheat Cheat

..tries to ..tries to get-an-edgeget-an-edge or/and ‘take’ more or/and ‘take’ more than one’s fair sharethan one’s fair share

..looks for little ways to quickly ..looks for little ways to quickly grab-and-grab-and-go go

..takes a wee bit more of an advantage ..takes a wee bit more of an advantage over others some how in some wayover others some how in some way


..trys to Arrange Being Alone alot..trys to Arrange Being Alone alot

……to have “get away” togetherto have “get away” together

..arranges for specific “special dates”..arranges for specific “special dates”

..tries for private “celebration” activities..tries for private “celebration” activities


……is a “is a “Quick”Quick” Promiser Promiser

..to get a favor..to get a favor

..to ‘score relationship points’ ..to ‘score relationship points’

..in order to gain some (self) ..in order to gain some (self) advantage advantage


……is … is … OverlyOverly Personal Personal

..talks in front of others about you....talks in front of others about you..

..tells your friends about You’re quirks…..tells your friends about You’re quirks…

..this and that..about your private ..this and that..about your private business and/or about the personal youbusiness and/or about the personal you


……is ais a Borrower Borrower

..it is “Little” things at first..it is “Little” things at first

……Later, largerLater, larger and more valuable things and more valuable things

……Small amount of money and then,..Small amount of money and then,..


……is a Credit card Chargeris a Credit card Charger

..uses credit cards excessively..uses credit cards excessively

..applies for any and all credit cards..applies for any and all credit cards

..is a compulsive spender/over charger..is a compulsive spender/over charger


……is is ill at easeill at ease in Company in Company

..makes excuses to avoid people..makes excuses to avoid people

..arrives late/leaves early at social events ..arrives late/leaves early at social events

..would rather forgo most events..would rather forgo most events


… …condones an Evil Actcondones an Evil Act

..makes a bad Omen about a person..makes a bad Omen about a person

… “… “got what ‘he’ or ‘she’ deserves”got what ‘he’ or ‘she’ deserves”

..if somebody leaves - “Good riddens”..if somebody leaves - “Good riddens”


……speaks speaks forfor the Both of You the Both of You

..interrupts your conversations..interrupts your conversations

..tells others in front of you about your… ..tells others in front of you about your…

..tries to prevent you from talking to others..tries to prevent you from talking to others


……ridiculesridicules Your Moral CodeYour Moral Code

……your personal your personal beliefsbeliefs

……your manners - behavioral standardsyour manners - behavioral standards

..your family’s social ethics ..your family’s social ethics


……doesn’t participate doesn’t participate in Religionin Religion

..has a history of no religion..has a history of no religion

..goes out of the way to avoid..goes out of the way to avoid

..or very little participation at all..or very little participation at all


……quick to tellquick to tell of Old Ways of Old Ways

“ “ I used to be a…”I used to be a…”

..misdemeanors and Felonies/Crime..misdemeanors and Felonies/Crime

..other Infractions of law..other Infractions of law

……a faked out someone, was a phony…a faked out someone, was a phony…


..an Unequally Yoked - ..an Unequally Yoked - PlayerPlayer

..‘uses’ people to their disadvantage..‘uses’ people to their disadvantage

..is a player of ..is a player of UnequallyokedUnequallyoked relationshipsrelationships

....ExploitsExploits people who know people… people who know people…


……a few a few Formal Formal PerspectivesPerspectives

““An equally-yoked relationship is born when An equally-yoked relationship is born when bothboth ‘civil identities’ of the couple ‘civil identities’ of the couple areare rather rather matchedmatched, , not mismatched.”not mismatched.”

““A couple is considered equally yoked when both A couple is considered equally yoked when both individuals have a civil identity that is individuals have a civil identity that is the samethe same or or at least fairly equalat least fairly equal.”.”

““The equallyoked couple may have The equallyoked couple may have exactly the exactly the samesame or or very similarvery similar civil identities.” civil identities.”

- Marriage and Family Therapy

- Social Psychology Research: Reference Couple Indices

- Sociology 101

..fulfilling an Equallyoked Coupleship..fulfilling an Equallyoked Coupleship

A few fulfilling featuresA few fulfilling features an ‘equallyoked’ coupleship: an ‘equallyoked’ coupleship: – honesty, vulnerability, mutual respect for

healthy boundaries, a full range of emotions, constructive ambition, sharing of personal philosophy of life, full expression of love, admiration, and respect, high level self-esteem, excellent communication, true bonding, fun times together, really healthy sexreally healthy sex, negotiation with supportiveness, activity variety, commitment, ‘seeing’ the best in one another for the best outcome, true love, etc….


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““EquallyokedEquallyoked””

Two Shall Become OneTwo Shall Become One!

A Liberal Arts and Humanities PresentationA Liberal Arts and Humanities Presentation

(Equally Yoked)(Equally Yoked)

Equallyoked - Social Mores - Civil identity - Social psychology - Liberal Arts

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Transcript of Equallyoked - Social Mores - Civil identity - Social psychology - Liberal Arts