The year of pretty pastels and way too much visible underwear.

Alfre Woodward

On anyone else it

might be too Glinda-

The-Good-Witch, but

Alfre carries it off. It’s

like a really sparkly

lolly-wrapper, and I’m

okay with that.

Al Pacino’s Girlfriend

The pose isn’t selling

it, but the dress is

objectively lovely.

Alison Williams

This looked nicer on

the red carpet – less

garish, a deeper blue,

and more matte.

Here it looks classic if

a bit high- school-

prom.

Alison Janney

I don’t love this

colour, but the style

is lovely and Alison

looks stunning.

Alyson Hannigan

Uh, no.

Amanda Peet

I don’t totally

understand what is

going on here.

My emotions include

bewilderment,

exasperation and

something akin to

concern.

Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler is fun.

This frock isn’t. It

makes her arms look

chubby and

truncated.

Andrea Anders

This is too literal a

take on mosaics. It

looks like if you

hugged her, it would

feel like hugging a

sack of pebbles.

Anna Chlumsky

I think Anna just had

a baby, so we’ll let

this slide. It’s fine, I

guess. Her lipstick is

the right colour. I

guess.

Anna Faris

The dress is fine, but

if this person took off

her wig and wiped off

her makeup and

revealed that she was

in fact a pizza boy

dressed as Anna Faris,

I would not be

surprised. Something

just doesn’t look right.

Anna Gunn

I keep thinking this is

Blake Lively which,

while I can’t stand

Blake Lively (for

irrational reasons), is

probably a

compliment to Anna

Gunn. She looks

statuesque and

pretty.

Ariel Winter

Yeah, it’s fine.

Whatever.

Aubrey Plaza

Now this fills me with

a kind of existential

despair. Americans

think Aubrey Plaza is

really special, but I’ve

seen her in things

(things other than

this unforgivable

dress) and I don’t get

it.

Betsy Brandt

I don’t know who this

is. I also don’t know

why humans do this to

their hair. As for the

dress, I had curtains in

this exact fabric in my

first flat, and I turned

them backwards so I

wouldn’t have to look

at them.

Carla Gugino

The cut and colour

are great, but I’m not

loving the detail.

Carrie Ann Inaba

I don’t know who this

person is or why she

is wearing what is

essentially a giant

arrow pointing to her

crotch.

Carrie Brownstein

This is really sweet

and offbeat, but I’d

rather it had two

straps, and was not

flanked by unkempt

hipsters.

Carrie Preston

I love it when

supporting actresses

end up stealing the

show.

This is really

beautiful. And it has

buttons.

Carrie Preston

See? Buttons!

Carrie Underwood

She looks like a

Southern debutante.

Which is kind of the

way I think of her

anyway. When I do

think of her.

Biannually.

Cat Deeley

This is just a puzzle

wrapped in an

enigma wrapped in a

garbage bag.

Christina Hendricks

Her hair looks pretty,

and the dress is

adequate, but I can’t

understand why she

isn’t knocking it out

of the park.

Christina Hendricks

See what I mean?

The frocks she

chooses just don’t do

much for her, and by

rights she should look

amazing.

Clare Danes

Meh, this is pretty

average. Her hair is

really cute, but a

dress that makes

your chest look like a

plate of pancakes is

not a great dress.

Cobie Smulders

I have no issue with

this, it’s very

luminous and pretty.

Connie Britton

I’ve never seen

Connie in anything,

so I have no affection

for her, and I don’t

love her brassy hair

and orangey makeup,

but the dress itself is

unique and quite

beautiful.

Constance Zimmer

I don’t know who

Constance Zimmer is,

but I think I like this.

It has an Art Deco

flavour.

Edie Falco

I tend to object to

dresses that

reference swimwear,

but the vibrant

cornflower blue is

really flattering.

Elisabeth Moss

It doesn’t excite me,

but it’s classic and

beautifully cut and

her hair gives it an

edge.

Emilia Clarke

I think she was going

for ethereal, but she

looks drowsy.

Emily Deschanel

Her hair and makeup

are pretty, but the

dress is dull, and too

loose in the middle.

Gia Coppola and Zac Posen

Zac Posen of Zac

Posen and Gia

Coppola of the

Coppola dynasty. She

looks chic, I love this.

Giuliana Rancic

This colour actually

looked stunning on

TV, but as ever I can’t

get past her achingly

thin frame. It’s

intervention time.

Heidi Klum

Speaking of

interventions: Heidi,

honey, stop trying so

hard.

Ireland Baldwin

Ireland Baldwin is

really trying to make

herself happen.

Jane Krakowski

Great colour. On

someone else it

might have looked

really beautiful, but I

find Jane’s colouring a

bit…trashy? Is that

really mean?

January Jones

I feel like she’s angry

at me. The

combination of dusty

pink and soft barely-

there makeup

probably looked really

pretty at home in the

mirror, but on the red

carpet it looks tired

and sad.

Jennifer Westfeldt

It’s just okay.

Jessica Lange

While I’m not a fan of

the pattern, she looks

lovely.

Jessica Paré

I love this. I love her. In

a sea of tangerine-

coloured blondes, her

dark hair and skin-

coloured skin with the

bold turquoise dress is

so striking. She looks

pretty and romantic

and timeless. Does it

have pockets? I love

pockets!

Jewel

This is very pretty up

close. She looks really

feminine and lovely.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Not very exciting, but

flattering and radiant.

There were a lot of

luminous pastels on

the red carpet this

year, which was

refreshing.

Julianna Margulies

From the front this

looks a bit sack-

shaped and I think

the style is too old for

her.

Julianna Margulies

It looks better from

the side, and also

with the dreamy

husband!

Mr Margulies & mini Margulies

And look, there’s a

little one too!

Julianne Hough

I want to throw something

at her. This is just not

acceptable. I’m not sure

whether I’m more

perturbed by the boob-

squishing, the droopy bit

in the middle or the

blatant display of

underpantage! What’s

worse is the fabric is

lovely, and someone could

have done something

pretty with it.

Julie Bowen

This just isn’t right. It

looks lovely through

the middle, despite

the creasing, but the

shoulders aren’t right

and the flouncy thing

isn’t right.

Kaley Cuoco

Did you notice Kaley

Cuoco publicly dated

Henry Cavill for about

three days and then when

everyone worked out that

it was a publicity stunt

they quietly broke up?

This russet red is lovely,

but it emphasises her

weird proportions, and

people need to stop

flashing their bras please.

Kate Mara

I think she should

leave the

monochromes and

sulky poses to her

sister, and also

seriously can people

please stop wearing

stuff that looks like

visible bras.

Katrina Bowden

I actually think the

belt detail cheapens

it. It would be classier

without the belt and

with an intricate

necklace instead.

Kelly Osbourne

You know, the dress is

objectively quite

lovely, but if

someone could

explain the purple

hair to me, that

would be great.

Kerry Washington

It’s beautiful, and she

looks amazing in it.

The gold detail on the

bust is a bit

distracting, but I think

there are gold bits

throughout the dress

so it’s probably

something that looks

better up close.

Kiernan Shipka

Her parents must be

doing something

right, because she

always looks, and

dresses like, a happy

kid. Which is exactly

what you want.

Kristen Connolly

I don’t know who this

is, but I don’t hate

the dress. It’s

interesting and

offbeat. Am I wrong?

Laura Dern

This is a beautiful

dress. I kind of wish it

was on someone else.

Sorry, Laura.

Lena Dunham

She looks ridiculous.

Laugh-out-loud, drop-

kick straight into the

worst-dressed bin

without a second look

ridiculous.

However, I kind of love

the dress, just not on her.

Don’t tell anyone.

I magically

photoshopped it on to

Kat Dennings just to

make a point.

Doesn’t she look

pretty?

And here are some

pictures by Barbier to

justify my affection

for the sprawling

floral print and the

bold colours.

Lena Headey

Wow, okay. I accept

that visible underwear

is a thing at the

moment, but I don’t

think the high-waisted

Spanx, nude bra and

control-top pantyhose

are supposed to be on

display, ever. Even the

white shoes are all

wrong.

Leslie Mann

Leslie Mann usually

brings it. This is

interesting, but not as

much fun as I

expected?

Lily Rabe

Sewing machines are

so unpredictable.

Linda Cardellini

I don’t usually go for

this kind of draping,

but she looks pretty

amazing. Her hair is

pretty too, and works

beautifully with the

shape of the dress.

Matt Damon’s Wife

Meh, it’s fine. She

looks lovely, it’s

just…a gold dress.

Malin Akerman

I can’t stand her and I

don’t know why.

Every time I see a

picture of her, I think:

“Ugh. You again.”

It’s totally

unreasonable.

Maria Menounos

Maria always looks

like the

Entertainment

Tonight hostess that

she is. Just bland L.A.

red carpet fare. The

dress is fine, but it

makes her look hippy,

and I just can’t get

excited about it.

Mayim Bialik

The detailing looks

tacky. I think there’s

enough going on

without the

sequinned belt,

sleeves and

shoulders. But the

colour is lovely, and

she’s really come

such a long way.

Merrit Wever

An average dress and

a terrible photo, but

her acceptance

speech was the best.

Google it.

Michelle Dockery

She looks perfect and

she knows it.

Mindy Kaling

This would be

gorgeous without the

bizarre neckline. It

makes me think of a

bejewelled steering

wheel. The colour is

amazing and her hair

is really pretty.

Morena Baccarin

This dress makes her

look pregnant!

Just kidding. She

looks beautiful.

Grecian draping is

ideal for extremely

pregnant people, and

the colour is divine.

Morgan Saylor

I think she’s in

Breaking Bad, which I

haven’t seen. I don’t

like this but she’s

young and it’s

inoffensive and she’s

not twerking and she

looks very pretty, so

we’ll overlook the fact

that she looks like a

question mark.

Nancy O’Dell

Copy and paste

whatever I said about

Maria Menounos.

Nathan Fillion

She’s so little! Aww.

Padma Lakshmi

You can’t really tell,

but this dress

employs a lot of

illusion netting, which

I don’t love. It also

just kind of looks like

she needs to pull her

top down.

Robin Wright

Objectively this is a

great dress, but

maybe it looks a bit

severe on Robin? Is it

the hair?

Rose Byrne

Rose looks lovely and

rose-like, and the

radiant pink shade

with her softer hair is

so pretty, but it’s

hard to overlook the

fact that she looks

thin and a little bit

gaunt.

Sandrine Holt

I couldn’t get a great

picture of this (they

were all sort of glare-y

and overexposed, so I

darkened it), but even

though it looks like

streamers, she’s

elegant and interesting

enough to make it

work. Whoever she is.

Sarah Hyland

I love this shade of

green, and it’s a

beautiful dress. Her

hair and makeup are

overdone, though.

Sarah Paulson

I can see where she

was going with this,

and the colour makes

me think of guavas,

but just doesn’t quite

work. I don’t know

why.

Sarah Silverman

I loathe these heels

with the heat of a

thousand sons, and

the dress just looks

trashy.

Sofia Vergara

Yeah, this seems

about right. Next!

Mr and Mrs Colbert

I just put this in

because it’s so

goshdarn cute.

Tina Fey

Yes!

Michael J Fox & Tracy Pollan

I love these two,

because he has a

brain disease and

because they’ve been

married for, like, ever.

The satin panel on

this dress is

completely

unnecessary,

however.

The Widow Farmiga?

Every time I see Vera

Farmiga, I think "wow,

she looks good for

55."

She’s only 40.

Zooey Deschanel

I can’t make my mind

up about this. From

the side it looked stiff

and puckered, but

from the front it fits

beautifully and the

colour is pretty. It’s

just kind of staid and

a bit old for Zooey.

Zosia Mamet

What a note to end

on. Why are her

boobs wearing a

disguise?!?