ELTM3 1

Is it Misbehavior?

Entry-Level Training Module III:

Lesson Two

ELTM3 2

Positive Guidance

“What is wrong with these kids?”

“If their parents would only…”

“When I was a child we would have never…”

1. “What behaviors do YOU find challenging?

2. “Where do these behaviors come from?

ELTM3 3

Mistaken Goals

Everyone has the need to belong, to feel a sense of worth and significance.

When we don’t feel a sense of belonging, we can become discouraged and look for ways to feel like we belong.

When a child becomes discouraged, s/he will often misbehave.

ELTM3 4

Goals of Misbehavior

Attention

Power

Revenge

Fear of failure/inadequacy

ELTM3 5

Causes of Misbehavior

1. Developmental Stage?2. Individual difference/temperament?3. Environment?4. New/unfamiliar skill/task or misunderstanding?5. Unmet emotional need?

1. Attention (1x)2. Power (10x)3. Revenge (100x)4. Fear of failure (1000x)

ELTM3 6

Professional Discipline Strategies are...

based on knowledge of children's needs and developmental appropriateness (observe the child, know the child)

nurturing and empathetic (know your hot buttons)

objective, focused on the things we actually see and hear

used to promote high self-esteem

recognized as having a powerful impact on children

consistent with parents’ discipline style (whenever possible)

ELTM3 7

What to Expect from Infants

No intentional behavior before 8-10 monthsNo self-control, all reflexive or reactive behaviorsKicks and flails when angry, gets angry over discomfort, boredom, may have tantrumsWithdraws from adults when over-stimulated, tired, distressed, or adult is unfamiliarExplores objects by mouthing, biting, shaking, banging, and throwingEats with hands, smears food all over

ELTM3 8

What to Expect from Toddlers

Constantly on the move, exploring (learning)

Loves to dump, pour, carry objects

Impulsive, possessive, aggressive

Interested in cause and effect, beginning to develop some self-control

Easily overwhelmed, frustrated (tantrums)

Uses a “love object” for comfort (blanket, bear, etc.)

Separation anxiety

Imitates everything, tries to be a big girl or big boy

ELTM3 9

What to Expect from Preschoolers

Makes intentional choicesCan verbalize needs and desiresStill egocentric, gets angry when doesn’t get his/her wayAggressive, competitive, intenseCan’t distinguish between intentional/unintentional behaviorPeer relationships are volatile (on again, off again)

ELTM3 10

What to Expect from School-agers

Less physically active

Still aggressive, mostly verbally

May sulk and hold grudges

Wants to be first, best, everything must be fair

Begins to use logic, argue with authority

Friendships are becoming extremely important

Increased self-control

ELTM3 11

Increasing Cooperation and Self-Control

Respond positively to the child

Demonstrate sensitivity

Demonstrate acceptance of the child

Show affection, appreciation

Cooperate with the child

Use positive communication

Teach cooperation and conflict resolution