DRAFTED - Issue 10

C E L E B R I T Y 1

a l l - s i n g i n ga l l - d a n c i n g

T H E FA N TA S T I C A L L I F E O F N O E L F I E L D I N G . . .

RO S S N O B L E · A M O R N I N G AT T H E C A P I TA L B R E A K FA S T S H OW

C A R D I N A L B U R N S · FA S H I O N · S H O P P I N G · B E AU T Y · M U S I C ·

G O I N G O U T · C E L E B R I T Y

2 C E L E B R I T Y

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BOXFRESH-SS15-AD.pdf 1 7/7/14 2:21 PM

CONTENTSJuly 2014

E D I T O R ’ S L E T T E R

lthough the sun has been

shining fairly regularly in the

last few weeks, it’s only just

beginning to feel like summer.

Maybe that’s because we’re

ȴQDOO\� HPHUJLQJ� IURP� RXU� WHOHYLVLRQ� FDYHV��after weeks of watching The World Cup,

Wimbledon and endless other sporting

HYHQWV�� 0D\EH� LWȇV� EHFDXVH� VFKRROV� DUH�breaking up and kids with ice creams can be

VHHQ� RQ� HYHU\� FRUQHU��:KDWHYHU� WKH� UHDVRQ��LWȇV�RɝFLDOO\�DUULYHG��DQG�VR�KDV�WKH��WK�LVVXH�RI� '5$)7('��:H� KDYH� D� YHU\� VSHFLDO� HGLWLRQ�WKLV�PRQWK��ZLWK�PRUH�LQWHUDFWLYH�FRQWHQW�WKDQ�HYHU� EHIRUH� Ȃ� FRXUWHV\� RI� RXU� ORYHO\� IULHQGV�at Blippar. So download the free augmented

reality app (see instructions on page 5) and

KDYH�D�SOD\�Ȃ�ZHȇYH�JRW�VRPH�JUHDW�VXUSULVHV�hidden in the mix.

Until Next time...

Rivkie Baum

K E E P I N T O U C H www.draftedmagazine.com • Twitter @draftedmagazine • Facebook /draftedmagazine

A

B L I P P A R

Blippar Instructions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

C E L E B R I T YNoel Fielding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14The Capital Breakfast Show . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30Ross Noble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

F E A T U R E SWelcome To The Future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46HOȴH�$ZDUHQHVV��6/LYH�)DVW��'LH�+DSS\��12Going Viral . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21(4�YV�Ζ4��44Kate Temple Gets Angry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47F A S H I O NWomen’s Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8Men’s Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10Dark Desire. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222UDQJH��7KH�1HZ�%ODFN��32

M U S I C A N D E N T E R T A I N M E N TLolo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29John Martin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 438QGHU�&RYHU��45On Screen And On Stage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60Cardinal Burns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

B E A U T YBeauty Essentials. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48Male Grooming . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Tried And Tested . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51Bloom. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52L I F E S T Y L EVinopolis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Dine Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58Bars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59Staycation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62St Lucia. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

Editor 5LYNLH�%DXP [email protected] • Deputy Editor Kyle Goodwin [email protected]

Beauty Editor Kate Temple [email protected] • Lifestyle / Entertainment Editor +DQQDK�6ODSSHU�hannah@draftedmagazinecom Staff Writer Matt Russell [email protected] • Online Editor Michael Bartlett [email protected] • Picture Editor Jay McLaughlin [email protected]

Chief Sub Editor +DQQDK�6ODSSHU�[email protected] • Sub Editor Kyle Goodwin [email protected]

Creative Direction Nick Cannons [email protected] • Designer 7RP�+D\�[email protected] • Designer Danny Nash [email protected]

Commercial / Sales Director Lena Robinson [email protected] • Feature Contributors +HQU\�)U\��0LOOLH�6WHSKHQV

Photographic Contributors Simon Wisbey, Roberto Aguilar, Terrence Seah • Illustrations Melanie Manning, Alexandria Coe • Cover Photo 'DYH�%URZQ

Published by Drafted Media Limited • General Enquiries [email protected]

58

14 30

66

62

Blippar is the world’s leading augmented

reality app platform, using image-recognition

technology to bring the physical world to

YLEUDQW�GLJLWDO�OLIH�WKURXJK�VPDUWSKRQHV�DQG�tablets. Users download the free Blippar app,

WKHQ� ȴOO� WKHLU� VFUHHQ�ZLWK� EOLSSDEOH� LPDJHV�(found on print pages, product packaging,

DGYHUWV��VLJQDJH��VFUHHQV��RU�DQ\ZKHUH�\RX�see the Blippar logo) and BLIPP to unlock

exciting mobile content.

Words: K Y L E G O O D W I N

HOW IT WORKS

Q� �� ZLWK� WKH� :HVWHUQ� ZRUOG�embarking on substantial cultural

and industrial changes, poet Ezra

Pound made the words ‘make

it new’ his battle cry. It became

D� PDQWUD� Ȃ� D� VORJDQ� IRU� WKH� HUD�Ȃ� VSHDNLQJ� WR� D� JHQHUDWLRQ� RQ� WKH� EULQN� RI�UHLQYHQWLRQ��ΖI�VRPHWKLQJ�LV�G\LQJ��PDNH�LW�QHZ��

+HUH�LQ��3RXQGȇV�SKLORVRSK\�FRXOGQȇW be more pertinent. As we continue our journey

into the digital age, ‘make it new’ is the motto,

consciously or unconsciously, that we are

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lose pace, and the world of print media is

no exception.

:LWK� WKH� YDOXH� RI� SULQW� WLWOHV� EHLQJ� TXHVWLRQHG� LQ� UHFHQW� WLPHV�� PDQ\� KDYH�wondered if magazines, newspapers, and

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grandchildren about.

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The use of augmented reality within

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With ground-breaking, user-friendly technology

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WKHP�WR�KDYH�D�V\PELRWLF�UHODWLRQVKLS�Using your smartphone or tablet, you can

DFFHVV�LQWHUDFWLYH�FHOHEULW\�FRQWHQW�WKURXJKRXW�this issue, as well as scan-to-buy options

IRU� HYHU\� IHDWXUHG� SURGXFW� WKURXJKRXW� RXU�shopping, beauty and fashion pages.

Simply download the free Blippar app from

UHVSHFWLYH�DSS�VWRUHV��VFDQ�\RXU�VPDUWSKRQH�RU�WDEOHW�RYHU� VHOHFWHG� IHDWXUHV� LQ� WKLV�PDJD]LQH��and watch the page instantly come to life on

your screen, all at the click of a button. (Or

should we say the swipe of a screen?)

Curious to see what all the fuss is about? Scan this page and check out Blippar’s recent Max Chiton blipp.www.blippar.com

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

IWords: M A R T H A D E L A C E Y

THINK PRINT MEDIA IS

DEAD? think again...

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to check out

what Blippar

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Blippar

instructions

opposite...

C E L E B R I T Y 5

DOWNLOADBLIPPAR

FILL SCREENWITH IMAGE

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Download Blippar from your App store now to your iPad, iPhone or Android phone.

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blippar_instructions.indd 1 01/12/2013 15:05:27

6 F E A T U R E

W E A L L H O P E G R A N D FAT H E R T I M E W I L L R E M E M B E R U S FAV O U R A B LY.

FA I L I N G T H AT, W E H AV E N O M A K E - U P S E L F I E S

et’s talk about legacy and

VPDUWSKRQHV�� ΖW� KDV� QHYHU�been easier to record

elements of your life for

SRVWHULW\�� +XPDQNLQG�has taken an estimated

��WULOOLRQ� SKRWRV� VLQFH� WKH� ȴUVW� EODFN� DQG�ZKLWH� SRUWUDLW� ZDV� VQDSSHG� EDFN� LQ� ��That’s more images of cats and holidays than

miles to the Sun. Now we can take a quick pic

and immediately show the whole world how

WDQQHG�ZH�DUH�DQG�KRZ�PXFK�EHWWHU�RXU�OLYHV�DUH�WKDQ�HYHU\RQH�HOVHȇV�� 7KH� UHVXOW� LV� D� SOHWKRUD� RI� VHOȴHV�� $�YHULWDEOH� PDVV� PH]]H� RI� WHHWK�� OLSV� DQG�assorted other body parts. Most recently, of

FRXUVH��WKHUH�KDV�EHHQ�WKH�GLYLVLYH�1R�0DNH�8S�6HOȴH�FUD]H��ΖI�\RX�DUH�OXFN\�HQRXJK�WR�KDYH�PLVVHG� WKLV� WUHQG�� ΖȇOO� OHW�\RX� LQWR� WKH� ORRS�� LW�was a campaign where girls took a photo of

their face pre-pencil and powder additions,

posted it on social media, donated money to a

cancer charity, then nominated a friend to do

the same.

� <RX�FDQ�DUJXH�WKDW��GHVSLWH�WKH�HYLGHQW�YDQLW\� LQYROYHG�� SHRSOH� DUH� DW� OHDVW� JLYLQJ� money to a worthy cause. Yet there is

something distasteful about healthy women

using the guise of charity to rock hospital-chic

on social media and call it do-gooding.

As I scrolled through these pictures,

ZKLFK� ȵRZHG� OLNH� D� FDVFDGH� RI� EHDXWLIXO��irritating faces down all my social media

outlets, I imagined how this would translate

to the cultures that come after us. We look

back on the Ancient Egyptians with bemused

pity that anyone truly thought the underworld

was ruled by a shirtless jackal-headed bloke

in a skirt. We shake our heads at the thought

that Mayans used to cut out people’s hearts so

that it would rain. What a bunch of chumps,

we think, smugly, as we hold our iPhone

WR� RXU� IDFH� DQG�EHOLHYH� WKDW�ZH� DUH�ZLQQLQJ�the war on cancer. When the lycra-clad,

teleporting people of the future look back

DW�RXU� FLYLOL]DWLRQ�� LV� WKLV�KRZ�ZH�ZDQW� WR�EH�remembered? Pouting, shirtless, long-armed

QDUFLVVLVWV"b “To collect photographs is to collect

WKH�ZRUOG�ȋ�ZULWHU�DQG�SROLWLFDO� DFWLYLVW� 6XVDQ�6RQWDJ�ZURWH�LQ�KHU��HVVD\�On Photography.

“Photography has become the quintessential

DUW� RI� DɞXHQW�� ZDVWHIXO�� UHVWOHVV� VRFLHWLHV�ȋ�she declared. “They seem, in a world littered

LZLWK� SKRWRJUDSKLF� UHOLFV�� WR� KDYH� WKH� VWDWXV�RI� IRXQG� REMHFWV� Ȃ� XQSUHPHGLWDWHG� VOLFHV� RI�WKH� ZRUOG�ȋ� +DG� VKH� EHHQ� ZULWLQJ� QRZ�� VKH�FRXOG�HDVLO\�KDYH�VDLG�WKDW�RXU�ZRUOG�LV�OLWWHUHG�ZLWK�SRRUO\�OLW�SKRWRV�RI�RXUVHOYHV�WDNHQ�IURP�VOLJKWO\�GLHUHQW�DQJOHV� During the week, I work as an editor at

D� ODUJH� QRQ�ȴFWLRQ� SXEOLVKHUV�� 5HFHQWO\� ΖȇYH�been working on a book that will feature a lot

of images from the First and Second World

Wars. The research has included looking

WKURXJK�PDQ\�ROG�SKRWRJUDSKV��JUDLQ\�EODFN�and white pictures of naked soldiers pushing

FDUWV�DFURVV�D�ULYHU� LQ�0HVRSRWDPLD��5XVVLDQ�women waiting in endless lines for bread,

ZLWKHUHG�FRUSVHV�RI�FKLOGUHQ� LQ�PDVV�JUDYHV��7KHVH� DUH� WKH� RQO\� LPDJHV� ZH� ZLOO� HYHU� VHH�RI� WKHVH�SHRSOH��KRUULȴF� VQDSVKRWV�RI�EUDYH��GHIHDWHG�RU�GHVSHUDWH�KXPDQV�b Then I log into Facebook and see another

friend from school posting a stunning picture

of her own face, apparently sans make-up,

but more stunningly fresh than in reality. The

ODFN� RI� DQ\� HYLGHQW� SRUHV� VXJJHVWV� IRXO� SOD\� with Photoshop.

There has to be a better way to be

UHPHPEHUHG��:H�DOO�ZDQW�WR�OHDYH�D�OHJDF\�RI�

Words: H E N R Y F R Y

Selfie AwarenessIllustration: M e l a n i e M a n n i n g

F E A T U R E 7

London with Longevity

In a world where

nothing lasts, some

iconic London

KDQJRXWV�KDYH�managed the near

impossible. Check

out these amazing

places to go when

you’re looking for

timeless style.

7XFNHG� DZD\� QHDU� .HQVLQJWRQ� +LJK� 6WUHHW��\HDU�ROG�Maggie Jones’s is both incredibly

rustic and hopelessly adorable. A hearty

dining atmosphere and delicious food always

makes it a meal to remember.

www.maggie-jones.co.uk

The Electric Cinema� LQ�1RWWLQJ�+LOO� UHFHQWO\�FHOHEUDWHG� LWV� ��WK� ELUWKGD\�� ΖWȇV� DPD]LQJ�WKDW��HYHQ�DIWHU�D�FHQWXU\��WKH�SLFWXUHKRXVH�LV�VWLOO�JRLQJ�VWURQJ��ZLWK�FRPIRUW�DW�LWV�YHU\�FRUH��www.electriccinema.co.uk

Ronnie Scott’s�KDV�EHHQ�DURXQG�IRU�ZHOO�RYHU��\HDUV��DQG�LV�WKH�ODVW�ZRUG�LQ�/RQGRQ�MD]]�clubs. Great atmosphere, iconic design, and,

RI�FRXUVH��RQO\�WKH�YHU\�EHVW�QDPHV�LQ�MD]]��www.ronniescotts.co.uk

The American Bar�DW�7KH�6DYR\�LV�D�SODFH�WR�IDOO� LQ� ORYH�ZLWK�� /LYH� SLDQR�PXVLF�� JRUJHRXV�cocktails, and impeccable décor make this top

of any list for a night out. www.fairmont.com/savoy-london/dining/americanbar

some kind. In some weird Game-of-Thronesy

urge, we all want to scratch out our mark on

WKH� ZRUOG� Ȃ� OHDYH� LW� D� OLWWOH� FKDQJHG� VR� WKDW�VRPHRQH�UHPHPEHUV�ZH�ZHUH�KHUH��D�FKLOG��D�EHQFK�EDULQJ�RXU�QDPH��VRPH�VZHHW�JUD�RQ�the public toilets closest to our home.

There now seems to be an app for

HYHU\WKLQJ�� 7KHUH� LV� HYHQ� RQH� WKDW� RHUV�\RX� WKH� RSSRUWXQLW\� WR� VWDYH� R� GHDWK��DOEHLW� GLJLWDOO\�� IRUHYHU�� (WHUQL�PH�� SURPLVHV�you will “simply become immortal’ through

ȆFRPSOH[� $UWLȴFLDO� ΖQWHOOLJHQFH� DOJRULWKPV� Ȑ�>WKDW@� JHQHUDWH� D� YLUWXDO� <28�� DQ� DYDWDU� WKDW�emulates your personality, and can interact

ZLWK� \RXU� IDPLO\� DQG� IULHQGV�� HYHQ� DIWHU� \RX�SDVV� DZD\ȋ�� 2YHU� \RXU� OLIH� \RX� LQSXW� GDWD�DERXW�ZKHUH�\RXȇYH�EHHQ��ZKDW�\RX�GLG��ZKR�you were with, and it remembers and throws

LW�DOO�EDFN�RXW�Ȃ�IURP�EH\RQG�WKH�JUDYH��ΖWȇV�WKH�SHUIHFW��QHYHU�HQGLQJ�VHOȴH�� Of course, we can’t fully be in control

RI� ZKDW� ZH� OHDYH� EHKLQG�� %XW� ZH� FDQ� WDNH�charge of our image while we’re still in the

game. Recently I read an article declaring

that, in a world of photographs taken by

PHQ�� WKH� VHOȴH� LV� WKH� RQO\� W\SH� RI� IHPDOH�photographic empowerment left. Perhaps it is

true that a woman taking a photo of herself,

and then sharing it, is empowering, but this

FDQQRW� EH� VDLG� RI� PRVW� VHOȴHV�� 7KH\� DUH� brag-photos, and bragging is genderless.

� ΖȇP�VXUH�ZHȇYH�DOO�VHHQ�WKH�VKLUWOHVV�J\P�SLFV�VRPH�JX\V� ORYH�WR�VKDUH��(YHQ�DOO�URXQG�DUWLVW� DQG� JHQHUDO� YLVLRQDU\� -DPHV� )UDQFR�KDV� FRPH� XQGHU� ȴUH� IRU� KLV� EL]DUUH� FDSV�lock-riddled pleas for Instagram followers

accompanied by intimate bedtime snaps and

FUHHS\� FRPH�RQV�� 5HFHQWO\� WKHUH� ZDV� HYHQ�the case of the male American student who

LUUHYRFDEO\� GDPDJHG� D� ��WK� FHQWXU\� *UHHN�VWDWXH�LQ�SXUVXLW�RI�D�VXLWDEOH�VHOȴH�E\�VLWWLQJ�RQ�LWV�ODS�DQG�EUHDNLQJ�R�D�OHJ��<HV��D�SLFWXUH�might last longer, but the search for the

SHUIHFW�VHOȴH�LV�IUDXJKW�ZLWK�SHULO�� At the other end of the egotism

photography spectrum is the work of French

DUWLVW� -5�� +H� WDNHV� EHDXWLIXO� EODFN� DQG�ZKLWH�SKRWRJUDSKV�RI�SHRSOH�ZKR�LQKDELW�GHSULYHG�or war-torn areas, then blows them up to

gigantic proportions onto local buildings. For

WKH� :RPHQ� $UH� +HURHV� SURMHFW� KH� SDVWHG�huge photographs of the faces of local women

RQWR�WKH�EXLOGLQJV�RI�WKH�ODUJHVW�IDYHODV�LQ�5LR�de Janeiro. This project was also taken to parts

of Cambodia, India, Liberia, Kenya and Sierra

/HRQH��+H�ZDQWHG�WR�ȊSD\�WULEXWH�WR�WKRVH�ZKR�play an essential role in society, but who are

SULPDULO\� WKH�YLFWLPV�RI�ZDU��FULPH�� UDSH�DQG�political or religious fanaticism”. Through his

images we get a glimpse of people we might

not normally see, shown in a way that makes

us think about the realities of the world. The

world behind the make-up, if you will.

“No legacy is so rich as honesty,”

Shakespeare wrote in All’s Well That Ends Well. $V� HYHU�� ROG� %LOO�PDNHV� D� JRRG� SRLQW��:H� DOO�ZDQW�WR�FKDQJH�WKH�ZRUOG�DQG�OHDYH�VRPHWKLQJ�behind. I just suggest you don’t do it with

D�VHOȴH�

TO COLLECT PHOTOGRAPHS IS TO COLLECT THE WORLD- SUSAN SONTAG

WRITER & POLITIC AL ACTIVIST

Illustration: M e l a n i e M a n n i n g

Words: E l i s h e v a S o k o l i c

8 C E L E B R I T Y

Opposites attract with head-to-toe monochrome

MONSOONZelda Zig Zag Knit£49

HOUSE OFFRASERPied a TerreGeo Jaquard Dress£49.50

TOPSHOPLana Platform Shoes£55

FRENCH CONNECTIONChampion Mesh Detail Dress£52

BLIPPto buy

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

ASOSBodycon Dress£11

DEBENHAMSPearce II FiondaLace Overlay Shift Dress£132

FOLLI FOLLIETote£133

SELFRIDGESJETS by Jessika AllenClassique Plunge Swimsuit£165

HOBBSAmaya Trousers£95

JAEGERBlanket Check Skirt£75

Opt for romantic,vintage shapes

with modern details to add

femininity to the stark tones

Geometric prints give black and whitedesigns added depth

10 C E L E B R I T Y

Explore the junglethis summer with exotic tropical print

LIBERT Y LONDONStrawberry Thief Cotton Tie£55

HOUSE OFFRASERGant Floral Swimshorts£61.60

OKI-NINikeFloral print blazer trainers£85

NEXTEcru Print T-shirt£18

URBAN OUTFITTERSCarharrt Cayman Shirt£40

BLIPPto buy

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

Be loud and proud- don't be afraid to showcase your

bright side

Ferns and florals are given a masculineupdate with clean, simple cuts

MR PORTER Remi ReliefLeaf Print Cardigan£105

RIVER ISLANDGrey Gem Stone Print Bomber£55

ZARAPrinted Sweater£29.99

RIVER ISLANDBlue Floral Hopsack Shorts£30

12 F E A T U R E

LIVE SLOW, B E I N G YO U N G I S G R E AT, B U T G E T T I N G

O L D E R C A N B E E V E N B E T T E R …

ive fast, die young, and have a good looking corpse’ – this phrase, coined by

:LOODUG� 0RWOH\� LQ� KLV� ��QRYHO� Knock On Any Door, and made famous by the

��ȴOP�RI�WKH�VDPH�QDPH�� LV� WKUHH�WKLQJV��LQVWDQWO\� UHFRJQLVDEOH�� H[WUHPHO\� LQȵXHQWLDO��and socially dangerous.

Although most won’t be able to pinpoint

the origin of the saying, (it is often wrongly

DWWULEXWHG� WR� -DPHV� 'HDQ�� D� VLJQLȴFDQW�proportion of young people will recognise it.

7KH\�PLJKW�HYHQ�OLYH�WKHLU�OLYHV�DFFRUGLQJ�WR�LW��We see it plastered on badly printed t-shirts,

emblazoned in gothic font on muscular male

forearms, and tweeted with the words ‘so

true, lol’ on a daily basis.

At the time, Motley was trying to make

a philosophical point about the transience

RI� OLIH�� +RZHYHU� WKH� SKUDVH�� LQ� DOO� LWV�simplicity, was picked up and translated by

the contemporary youth as a call to action

Ȃ� D� FHOHEUDWLRQ� RI� EHDXW\� DQG� UHFNOHVVQHVV�that could be frozen in time thanks to an

early death.

Youth was a new concept in the late

Ȇ��V��:LWK�WKH�HPHUJHQFH�RI�URFN�DQG�UROO��DQG�DQ� LQFUHDVHG� VRFLDO� LQWHUHVW� LQ� LQGLYLGXDOLW\��FUHDWLYLW\� DQG� ȆWKH� VHOIȇ� JURZLQJ� LQ� WKH� SRVW�war world, a new age bracket was being born.

No longer did children grow into adults, they

EHFDPH� Ȇ\RXQJ� SHRSOHȇ� Ȃ� D� ȵXLG� QRWLRQ� WKDW�embraced teenage years and struck fear into

the hearts of older generations.

� )ODVK� IRUZDUG� �� \HDUV� DQG� \RX� ȴQG�\RXUVHOI�LQ�WKH�Ȇ��V�ZKHUH�ȆOLYH�IDVW��GLH�\RXQJȇ�had become somewhat of a social mantra.

Young generations were familiar with cultural

LFRQV� OLNH� -LPL� +HQGUL[�� -LP� 0RUULVRQ�� -DQLV�Joplin and many other famous faces who

GLHG�LQ�WKHLU�WZHQWLHV�GXH�WR�GUXJ�RYHUGRVHV��DOFRKRO� SRLVRQLQJ�� LUUHVSRQVLEOH� GULYLQJ�� DQG�RWKHU�WUDJLF��DYRLGDEOH�FDWDVWURSKHV��

� *URZLQJ�XS� LQ� WKH� Ȇ��V�� WKHUH�GHȴQLWHO\�VHHPHG� WR� EH� D� VWURQJ� ȆXV� DQG� WKHPȇ� YLEH�being plugged from all angles. Songs were

written, just like they had been for years,

empathising with all teenagers who had

parents that ‘didn’t understand’. Films and TV

shows would berate adults for their stale and

UHSHWLWLYHO\� ȆVDIHȇ�ZD\�RI� OLYLQJ��6RFLDO� VFHQHV�ZHUH� YHU\� PXFK� JHDUHG� WRZDUGV� UHEHOOLRQ��drinking before you were allowed, escaping

WR� SDUWLHV�� DQG� KDYLQJ� URPDQWLF� URPSV� DV�soon as physically possible. All in the name

RI�H[SHULPHQWLQJ��DQG�H[SHULHQFLQJ�Ȃ�WZR�NH\�ideals that ensured, as far as your peers and

mentors were concerned, that you were really

OLYLQJ�DQG�QRW�ZDVWLQJ�\RXU�\RXQJ�\HDUV�� 1RZ� LWȇV� �� DQG� WKLQJV� VKRXOG� VHHP�GLUH�� +RVSLWDO� DGPLVVLRQV� IRU� SHRSOH� XQGHU�WKH�DJH�RI� �� VXHULQJ� IURP�DOFRKRO�UHODWHG�OLYHU�GLVHDVHV�KDYH�LQFUHDVHG�E\��ZHȇYH�VHHQ� DQRWKHU� ZDYH� RI� FHOHEULWLHV� OHDYH� WKH�ZRUOG� WRR� VRRQ� �$P\� :LQHKRXVH�� +HDWK�Ledger, Cory Monteith and most recently,

Peaches Geldof). According to the prognosis

of our childhoods, we should be a dithering

ZUHFN�RI�D�JHQHUDWLRQ��XWWHUO\�GHSHQGHQW�RQ�a cocktail of drugs, drink and dance music.

0DQ\� RI� XV� KDYH� JRQH� WKURXJK� WKLV� VWDJH��EXW�KDYH�FRPH�RXW� WKH�RWKHU�VLGH� WKDQNV� WR�a new concept that’s crept into our social

FRQVFLHQFH��ORQJHYLW\��

DIE HAPPY‘L

Much like the drunk post-party goer who

LV� UHIUHVKHG�E\� WKH�JOLPSVHV�RI�ȴUVW� OLJKW�RQ�their stumbled journey home, as a generation

ZHȇYH� FRPH� WR� UHDOLVH� WKDW� ZH� FRXOG�� LI� ZH�ZDQWHG�WR�� OLYH�IRU�DJHV��7KH�8.�JRYHUQPHQW�has predicted that a third of the babies born

ODVW� \HDU�ZLOO� UHDFK��Ȃ� WKDQNV� WR�D�PL[�RI�medical progress and changing attitudes.

The lifestyles that were once deemed

ERULQJ�DQG�UHSXOVLYH�E\�\RXQJ�SHRSOH�DUH�QRZ�being taken up with enthusiasm. Go into any

/RQGRQ�EDVHG� FRHH� VKRS�� DQG� \RXȇOO� PRUH�likely hear people using words like ‘wellbeing’

UDWKHU� WKDQ� ȆZDVWHGȇ�� 3HRSOH� DUH� LQYHVWLQJ�LQ� J\P� PHPEHUVKLSV�� DFWLYHO\� VHHNLQJ�superfood ingredients, swapping their roll-

ups for electronic cigarettes and waking up

after an eight-hour sleep to practise their

morning yoga routine.

� ΖWȇV�HDV\�WR�VHH�ZK\�Ȃ�ZHȇUH�ȴQDOO\�SXWWLQJ�two and two together. If we take care of our

bodies and souls then we can reach the older

decades of our life and actually enjoy them.

3RVVLEO\� HYHQ� PRUH� WKDQ� RXU� GHVSHUDWHO\�clung-to twenties.

Words: H a n n a h S l a p p e r

Illustration: Alexandria Coe

KOPPARBERG URBAN FOREST

If you’re looking for a unique summer drinking

spot, then get yourself down to the Kopparberg

Urban Forest in Bootstrap, Dalston. Running

HYHU\� 7KXUVGD\�6XQGD\� XQWLO� $XJXVW� �� WKH�QH[W� IHZ�ZHHNV�DUH�DOO�DERXW�GLVFRYHULQJ�WKH�magic behind the busy streets. Expect to see a

IXVLRQ�RI�OLYH�PXVLF��FDSWLYDWLQJ�'-�VHWV��VWUHHW�DUW�DQG�PRXWKZDWHULQJ�IRRG�DQG�GULQN�Ȃ�DOO�LQ�a unique tree-themed setting. The bespoke

woodland bar, inspired by the beauty of the

Swedish pine forests, will erase memories of

WKH�PXQGDQH�HYHU\GD\�DQG�WUDQVSRUW�\RX�WR�D�SHDFHIXO�SODFH�\RXȇG�QHYHU�GUHDP�RI�ȴQGLQJ�LQ�the back pocket of East London. Urban Forest

ZLOO�DOVR�EH�GRQDWLQJ�e��IURP�WKH�VDOH�RI�HDFK�‘Dalston Thing’ cocktail to Dalston Bridge, a

ORFDO� FKDULW\�� DQG�ZKHQ� WKH�YHQXH�HYHQWXDOO\�closes its doors, Kopparberg will be gifting the

trees and greenery to The Bootstrap Company

for distribution among its projects. Good

cause + good cocktails = a great choice.

Opening: July 2 – August 3, Thurs-SunFor more info: www.kopparbergurbanforest.com

MAC: MOODY BLOOMS

7KH�FUHDWLYH�WHDP�DW�0$&�DUH�D�GDUN�DQG�WZLVWHG�EXQFK�� LI� WKHLU� WDNH�RQ� URPDQFH� IRU�$:�� LV� anything to go on. The Moody Blooms

collection is a sensual mix of colours, from

bronze to ice blues and cool shades of red

OLSVWLFN��7KLV�LV�WKH�GHHSHU��GDUNHU�VLGH�RI�ORYH��

F E A T U R E 13

insideyour city...

CUBITTS

Two years ago, frustrated with the complexity

and cost of buying prescription glasses, Cubitts

VHW� WKHPVHOYHV� D� FKDOOHQJH�� 7KH\� ZDQWHG� WR� RHU� KLJKHU� TXDOLW\� SUHVFULSWLRQ� VSHFWDFOHV�with a simple, streamlined and straightforward

SURFHVV�� 7KH� RQOLQH� FRPSDQ\� RHU� \RX� WKH�chance to select up to four frames, to test for

D�PD[LPXP�RI�ȴYH�GD\V��ΖI�WKH\ȇUH�QRW�IRU�\RX��you can return them for free. Find your perfect

pair and you can easily order them online. The

only info they need is your prescription, so

they can add in the lenses, which are all anti-

glare and anti scratch as standard, and they

send them to your front door. It’s amazing

that, just by designing their own frames and

cutting out the middle man, they can also cut

a huge chunk of the cost and time this job

XVXDOO\�WDNHV��:H�FDQ�VHH�FOHDUO\ȐWKDW�WKLV�LV�a bargain.

www.cubitts.co.uk

Words: J O S I E J O N E S

WHAT WE’RE LOVING THIS MONTH.

www.maccosmetics.co.uk

W H E N T H E G O I N G G E T S W E I R DT H E W E I R D

BLIPPthis page

to watch

Noel Fielding

being silly

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…


C E L E B R I T Y 15

W H E N T H E G O I N G G E T S W E I R DT H E W E I R D T U R N P R OWords: K Y L E G O O D W I N

F R O M H A P P Y- G O -L U C KY M O D T O

N AT I O N A L S E X SY M B O L ; H O U S E H O L D

T V P E R S O N A L I T Y T O FA N TA S T I C A L I N T E R G A L AC T I C

AC T O R : W E L C O M E T O T H E L I F E A N D T I M E S O F N O E L F I E L D I N G …

Photography: D A V E B R O W N


oftly-spoken but profoundly FRQȴGHQW��IDLQWO\�VK\�\HW�RXWUDJHRXVO\�RXWODQGLVK� 1RHO�)LHOGLQJ�LV�QRW�DQ�HDV\�PDQ�WR�SLJHRQKROH��+HȇV�MXVW�DV�ZHOO�PDQQHUHG�DV�KH�LV�PLVFKLHYRXV��HTXDOO\�DV�DDEOH�DV�KH�LV�ULRWRXV�Ȃ�WKH�W\SH�RI�JX\�\RX�KDOI�want to drop acid with, half want to introduce to

your Grandmother.

2Q� D� PLOG�� RYHUFDVW� 6DWXUGD\� DIWHUQRRQ� ZH�ȴQG� )LHOGLQJ� LQ� D� SOD\IXO�PRRG�� WKH� NLQG� RI�PRRG�ZHȇYH�FRPH�WR�H[SHFW�IURP�KLP��+HȇV�FRPIRUWDEOH�LQ�FRQYHUVDWLRQ�� ODLG�EDFN� Ȃ� D� SXEOLF� LPDJH� ȵDZOHVVO\�SHUVRQLȴHG�� ȊΖȇP� DOZD\V� MXVW� P\VHOI�� UHDOO\�ȋ� KH�begins, “whether I’m on TV or just doing normal

things. I went to my doctor the other day and he was

saying Russell Brand and I are exactly the same in

UHDO�OLIH�DV�ZH�DUH�RQ�79��:HȇYH�JRW�WKH�VDPH�GRFWRU��+H�VDLG�ZH�ERWK�MXVW�WDON�WRR�PXFK�ȋ�

&RPHG\� WDVWH� DVLGH�� DV� D� SHUVRQ� KH� LV� YHU\�GLɝFXOW� WR� GLVOLNH�� 7KURXJKRXW� KLV� FDUHHU�� DQG�particularly from his appearances on panel

shows, Fielding has generated a status of largely

XQZDYHULQJ� DDELOLW\�� ZKLFK� LV� RIWHQ� UHȵHFWHG� LQ�the tone of his comedy. Alongside a knack for light-

heartedness comes an outwardly carefree nature, a

seemingly easy-going attitude to life. “I’m carefree to

an extent,” he tells us, “but I think all comedians are

quite insane, really.”

1RZ� DQ� LFRQLF� ȴJXUHKHDG� RI� %ULWLVK� &RPHG\��Fielding is, in many ways, the embodiment of anti-

PDLQVWUHDP� DWWLWXGH� Ȃ� SXVKLQJ� VXUUHDOLVP� WR� LWV�

PRVW�SHFXOLDU�OLPLWV��QHYHU�WHPSWHG�E\�WKH�RUGLQDU\��all the while maintaining strong ratings and forming

a passionate and loyal cult following. “It’s not for

HYHU\RQH�ȋ�KH�VD\V��EULHȵ\�FRQVLGHULQJ�KLV�FRPHGLF�reputation, “but the three in ten people that like it

are fans for life.”

7KHUH� LV� DQ� HOHPHQW� RI� GHȴDQFH� LQ� )LHOGLQJȇV�work and attitude. The Mighty Boosh, for example,

stunned fans when season two aired. The entire

premise of the show had changed. No longer set

in the customary zoo, and with a host of popular

FKDUDFWHUV�GLWFKHG�� LW�ZDV�D�EROG�PRYH��VRPHWKLQJ�most shows, especially with such a successful

UHFLSH��ZRXOG�QHYHU�GDUH��Ȋ:KDW�ZDV�TXLWH�IXQQ\�ȋ�KH�VPLOHV��ȊLV�WKDW�ZH�GLGQȇW�HYHQ�ERWKHU�WR�H[SODLQ�anything. We just went, ‘Right, we’re just not in a

zoo anymore’. People were going, ‘What? What

happened to the zoo?’”

Alongside Mighty Boosh writing partner and

FR�VWDU�-XOLDQ�%DUUDWW��WKH�GXR�ȴUPO\�SOD\HG�E\�WKHLU�RZQ� UXOHV��EHLQJ�DRUGHG� WKH� FUHDWLYH� IUHHGRP� WR�explore new ideas, settings and characters. It was

D� SDUWQHUVKLS� WKDW� ȵRXULVKHG� LQVWDQWO\�� Ȋ3HRSOH�seemed to like what we did,” Fielding says, recalling

the early days with Barratt. “Our double act pretty

much worked straight away, which is rare. Double

DFWV�DUH�D�UDUH�EHDVW��\RX�SUREDEO\�RQO\�JHW�WKDW�RQFH�in a lifetime. We were winning a lot of awards, it all

happened really quickly.”


Fielding and Barratt formed the

foundation for Mighty Boosh characters

9LQFH� 1RLU� DQG� +RZDUG� 0RRQ�� ORQJ�EHIRUH� WKH� VKRZ� VWDUWHG�� ΖQ� �� WKH\�took the show to Edinburgh Fringe

)HVWLYDO�� ZLQQLQJ� WKH� 3HUULHU� $ZDUG� IRU�Best Newcomer. The plaudits came thick

and fast, and the duo was handed a radio

series by the BBC, produced by comedy

writer Danny Wallace.

7KH�ȴUVW�HSLVRGH�RI�The Mighty Boosh

Ȃ� FRPPLVVLRQHG� IRU� WHOHYLVLRQ� E\� %%&�7KUHH�Ȃ�DLUHG�RQ�8.�VFUHHQV�LQ��DQG�rapidly became a cult classic. “We did two

series and didn’t really know if anyone

ZDV�ZDWFKLQJ� LW�� RU� LI� DQ\RQH� HYHQ� OLNHG�it,” Fielding explains. “But we did a gig in

<RUN� RQ� WKH� ȴUVW� QLJKW� RI� RXU� WRXU� DQG�people were dressed as our characters

and chased us down the street after the

gig. We were like, ‘Wow, people do like

our show’.

“We had no idea up until that point

WKDW�DQ\RQH�ZDV�HYHQ�UHPRWHO\�ZDWFKLQJ�it.” It had become one of the most

ORYHG�VKRZV�LQ�%ULWLVK�WHOHYLVLRQ�KLVWRU\��ZLWK� �PLOOLRQ� YLHZHUV� WXQLQJ� LQ� IRU�VHDVRQ� WKUHHȇV�SUHPLHUH� LQ�� ȊΖW�JRW�so big,” Fielding says. “We were doing

WKH�2��DQG�Jonathan Ross, we sort of got

WR� WKDW� SRLQW� HYHU\RQH�ZDQWV� WR� JHW� WR��&RQVLGHULQJ� ZH� QHYHU� FRPSURPLVHG��we were quite proud of that, because it

was a weird show. When you cross into

the mainstream with something really

strange it’s a bizarre feeling, like we

almost shouldn’t be there.”

)LHOGLQJȇV� YR\DJH� LQWR� FRPHG\�EHJDQ��UDWKHU�ȴWWLQJO\��LQ�XQFRQYHQWLRQDO�FLUFXPVWDQFHV�� DW� &UR\GRQ� $UW� &ROOHJH��harbouring ambitions to establish

himself as artist. “I was just a bit shy

DQG� JRWK\�� UHDOO\�ȋ� KH� UHȵHFWV�� ȊΖ� QHYHU�imagined I’d end up writing comedy

and being this all-singing, all-dancing

performer.”

As time went on, though, he began

GDEEOLQJ� LQ� VWDQG�XS�� GUHVVLQJ� XS� DV�-HVXV� RQ� D� �� IRRW� FURVV� �WKDW� KH� EXLOW�KLPVHOI�� SDFNLQJ� D� ZDWHU� SLVWRO� ȴOOHG�with holy water. It was an apt start to

HYHU\WKLQJ�WKDW�ZDV�WR�IROORZ��ȊΖ�XVHG�WR�dance to ‘Jumping Jack Flash’ as Jesus,

but in the style of Mick Jagger. It was

ridiculous.”

Although he is largely renowned for

KLV�RQVFUHHQ�UROHV��ZKLFK�KDYH�LQFOXGHG�SDUWV� LQ� &KDQQHO� �� VKRZV� Nathan Barley, The IT Crowd and Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace), Fielding clearly still feels a

NLQVKLS�ZLWK� OLYH�FRPHG\��DQG�ZLOO� WR�EH�embarking on a UK tour later this year.

“TV is a bit of a mirage,” he ruminates.

ȊΖWȇV� GLɝFXOW�� EHFDXVH� ZLWK� WHOHYLVLRQ�you don’t really get to connect with your

DXGLHQFH�� \RX� MXVW� SXW� LW� RXW� WKHUH� DQG�\RX� GRQȇW� UHDOO\� NQRZ�KRZ� LWȇV� DHFWLQJ�

anything. You can look at comments on

the internet, but is that really a good way

of judging anything? Not really. It’s not

the best way.

“The internet is like walking into a

VKRSSLQJ� FHQWUH� DQG� VD\LQJ�� Ȇ+H\�� ZKR�OLNHV�P\� WURXVHUV"ȇ� <RXȇOO� JHW� ȴYH� SHRSOH�VD\LQJ��Ȇ<HDK��WKH\ȇUH�DOULJKWȇ��DQG�HYHU\RQH�else saying, ‘You look f***ing ridiculous’.”

� 6LQFH�PRYLQJ�RQ�IURP�The Mighty Boosh, Fielding has gone on to launch

his own show, Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy�� ZKLFK� ȴUVW� DLUHG� RQ� &KDQQHO�� LQ� -DQXDU\�� )LHOGLQJ�ZDV� NHHQ� WR�FUHDWH� VRPHWKLQJ� GLHUHQW�� VRPHWKLQJ�people weren’t accustomed to seeing

RQ� 79�� SXVKLQJ� KLV� YLVLRQ� IRU� VXUUHDOLVW�FRPHG\�WR�EL]DUUHO\�REVFXUH�QHZ�OHYHOV��“I just wanted to make a show that was a

PL[WXUH�RI�DQLPDWLRQ�DQG�OLYH�DFWLRQ�ȋ�KH�says. “We didn’t really want to do a story-

based show because we’d done that with

The Boosh. We thought we could just do

a sketch show, but I don’t know what we

ended up making. It’s one of the weirdest

VKRZV�WKDW�KDV�HYHU�H[LVWHG�ȋBased in multiple worlds, with

VHYHUDO� GLHUHQW� FKDUDFWHUV�� Luxury Comedy takes the dreamlike elements

of The Mighty Boosh and further builds

D� G\QDVW\� RI� PDGQHVV�� HPSOR\LQJ�)LHOGLQJȇV� ORYH�RI�DUW� WR�SURGXFH�D�VKRZ�WKDW� YLVXDOO\� VWLPXODWHV� KLV� DXGLHQFH��DV�ZHOO� DV�PDNLQJ� WKHP� ODXJK��(YHQ� IRU�fans of his earlier work, the show could

EH�GLɝFXOW�WR� LQLWLDOO\�FRPSUHKHQG��ZLWK�Fielding getting a mixed response to the

ȴUVW�VHULHV��“It’s the sort of show that splits

people right down the middle” he says.

“It is much more extreme than The Boosh so the reaction was much more

extreme, which is a good thing. Damien

+LUVW� WROG� PH� DQ� H[WUHPH� UHDFWLRQ� LV�the best reaction you can get. It’s the

greatest thing you can do. Most people

ORRN�DW�VWX�DQG�WKH\�GRQȇW�FDUH�HQRXJK�to make a comment, but when you make

something that people get angry about,

or jump up and dance about, that’s pretty

much the best you can hope for, because

LWȇV�UHDOO\�DHFWHG�SHRSOH�ȋ Although co-written and co-

directed with Nigel Coan, Luxury Comedy PDUNHG� )LHOGLQJȇV� ȴUVW� VROR� WHOHYLVLRQ�YHQWXUH�� ΖW� ZDV� D� VWHS� LQWR� XQIDPLOLDU�terrain, without the familiarity of an

onscreen double act. “It was weird

because I’m quite good in double act

situations,” he says. “It’s always been

VRPHWKLQJ� ΖȇYH� IRXQG� YHU\� FRPIRUWDEOH��-XOLDQ� DQG� Ζ� ZHUH� D� JRRG� GRXEOH� DFW��Russell Brand and I work well together,

same with Phil Jupitus. You can’t fake that

chemistry. I do think sometimes I work

better with another person. I’m quite

JRRG�DW�ERXQFLQJ�R�VRPHRQH�HOVH�ȋ

N O E L F I E L D I N G O N . . .

T H E L O N D O N U N D E R G R O U N DDoesn’t happen. I haven’t been on the Underground for five years. I didn’t like it in the first place, and now I can afford not to go on it, I just never do.

P O P M U S I C I love pop music, but I definitely prefer pop from the ‘60s. I’m a little out of touch now. I’m not sure I’d really put One Direction up there with The Kinks. Bless them.

T H E W O R L D C U P I’ve been both excited and confused. I’ve been rooting for Australia because The Boosh has always done well there.

T H E N E W S I like to avoid it. If you end up on the news you’re either dead or you’ve done something wrong. I was on BBC news once during Wimbledon; I challenged Boris Becker to a game of swing ball.

“ COMEDY IS AN UNUSUAL INDUSTRY TO GET INTO BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE FUNNY.”

N O E L F I E L D I N G O N . . .


As Fielding explains, his penchant for a

double act has seen him forge some fascinating

FRPHG\�SDUWQHUVKLSV��+LV�DSSHDUDQFHV�ZLWK�5XVVHOO�Brand on The Big Fat Quiz of the Year��RQFH� LQ��DQG� DJDLQ� LQ� �� PDGH� IRU� KLJKO\� HQWHUWDLQLQJ�YLHZLQJ�� 0RUH� UHFHQWO\�� KLV� UHVLGHQF\� DV� D� WHDP�captain on Never Mind the Buzzcocks saw him strike

XS� DQ� HRUWOHVV� FKHPLVWU\� ZLWK� IHOORZ� FRPHGLDQ�Phil Jupitus.

Buzzcocks shifted Fielding into a wider

PDLQVWUHDP� GRPDLQ�� DQG� LQWR� WHOHYLVLRQ� WKDWȇV�more concise and easily-digestible than his usual

SURMHFWV�� ȊΖWȇV� OLNH� KDYLQJ� D� SURSHU� MRE� IRU� PH��

because it’s weekly,” he says. “It’s much more

mainstream and more accepted. I really enjoy

GRLQJ�LW�EHFDXVH�Ζ�GRQȇW�KDYH�WR�ZULWH�DQ\WKLQJ��Ζ�FDQ�MXVW�LPSURYLVH��ΖWȇV�WKH�FORVHVW�WKLQJ�ΖȇYH�HYHU�KDG�WR�a real job. Although, we do get a few guests on, and

Ζ�OLWHUDOO\�KDYH�QR�LGHD�ZKR�WKH\�DUH��7KH\�FRXOG�EH�WKLV�PDVVLYH�VWDU�IURP�TOWIE or something and I’ll

MXVW�JR��ȆΖ�KDYH�QR�LGHD�ZKR�WKDW�SHUVRQ�LVȇ��ΖW�PDNHV�LW�D�OLWWOH�ELW�GLɝFXOW�VRPHWLPHV�ȋ�

This month Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy

UHWXUQV� WR� &KDQQHO� �� IRU� LWV� VHFRQG� VHULHV�� DQG�while the show’s ambiguity still plays a prominent

SDUW�� )LHOGLQJ� KDG� D� VOLJKWO\� GLHUHQW� YLVLRQ� WKLV�WLPH� DURXQG�� Ȋ:LWK� WKH� ȴUVW� VHDVRQ�� WKHUH� ZHUH�a lot of good elements and I thought it looked

beautiful,” he explains, “but in making the new

series we wanted to take the best bits out of that

and put it into something more coherent. You can

VOLS�ZHLUG�VWX�LQWR�D�PDLQVWUHDP�HQYLURQPHQW�� LI�you do it properly. That’s the goal with the second

series, to make my character a little more normal

and sneak the weird elements in under the radar.”

Fielding’s journey has been consistently

ZDUPLQJ� Ȃ� IURP� DVSLULQJ� DUWLVW� �OLYLQJ� ZLWK� �� DUW�VWXGHQWV�LQ�D�VHYHQ�EHGURRP�KRXVH��VSHQGLQJ�e��

a week on food and

“always wearing like

�� MXPSHUV� ȆFRV� ZH�ZRXOG� QHYHU� WXUQ�the heating on”) to

undisputable comedy

OHJHQG�� +HȇV� VHHQ� LW�DOO�� 7KHUH� KDYH� EHHQ�

sell out arena tours, a myriad of celebrity friends, and

VRPH�YHU\�ZLOG�KDLUFXWV��$V� IRU� WKH� IXWXUH�� WKRXJK��are there any new ideas already in the pipeline?

“Well,” he chuckles, “I just want to make something

so strong it makes people throw up.”

<RXȇYH�EHHQ�ZDUQHG��

Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy – ‘Tales From Painted Hawaii’ is out on Channel 4 and 4OD this month.

“ I J U S T W A N T T O M A K E S O M E T H I N G S O S T R O N G I T M A K E S P E O P L E T H R O W U P . ”

F E A T U R E 21

KH� LGHD� RI� KDYLQJ� ��minutes of fame was

ȴUVW� FRLQHG� E\� $QG\�:DUKRO� LQ� WKH� Ȇ��V� DV� D�prophetic look at the future

RI� FHOHEULW\�b � 1RZDGD\V��KRZHYHU�� LW� seems there is almost no other

kind. Success comes with a sell-by-date, and

we are in the midst of a generation where

WUHQGV�FKDQJH�DOPRVW�GDLO\��'LHUHQW�EUDQGV��celebrities and messages are constantly forced

RQWR�RXU�VFUHHQV�DQG�LQWR�RXU�FRQYHUVDWLRQV��and we’re lapping it up eagerly.

Thanks to social media, you simply can’t

JHW�DZD\�IURP�WKH�ODWHVW�IDG��Ζ�DP�QRW�D��\HDU�old girl, yet I know far more about rainbow

looms than I probaby should. I am not a

��\HDU�ROG� DGROHVFHQW�� DQG� \HW� VRPHKRZ� Ζ�VWLOO�KDYH�LPDJHV�RI�1HNQRPLQDWLRQV�YLRODWLQJ�my retinas.

As soon as we get to grips with the lingo

surrounding these online obsessions, and

DFFHSW�WKH�DGGLWLRQ�RI�D�QHZ�FUD]H�LQ�RXU�OLYHV��it seems they disappear from of our social

pages are no longer talked about, almost as if

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dance routines? Not exactly. To a certain

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with. So, how do we make a message last for

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to share anything at the click of a button.

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sensation makes it onto a Buzzfeed post.

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watch %UHDNIDVW�DW�7LDQ\ȇV�� 2QFH� ZH� DFFHSW� WKDW� ZHȇUH� OLYLQJ� LQ� D�culture where fads change within hours,

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a throwaway trend.

Firstly, you need to be heard. YouTube

WUHQGV� PDQDJHU� .HYLQ� $OORFFD�� EHOLHYHV�WKDW�� LQ� WKLV� QHZ� HUD�� WKH� DXGLHQFH� ȊGHȴQHV�popularity”, meaning that we need to embrace

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HPRWLRQDO� OHYHO� LV�DOVR�NH\� WR�ERWK�DFKLHYLQJ�WKDW�LQLWLDO�UHDFK��DQG�WKHQ�DWWDLQLQJ�ORQJHYLW\��While the world changes around us, some

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time, success is that much closer to hand.

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to be “understandable, memorable and

HPRWLRQDOȋ�� EHOLHYLQJ� WKDW� SDVVLRQ� IRU� \RXU�brand or idea, as well as real life storytelling,

can be the strongest tools for making a

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M U S I C 29

R� Ζ� KDYH� WR� FHQVRU� P\VHOI�for this?” begins LOLO,

QHVWOLQJ� LQWR� WKH� HQJXOȴQJ�VRID� DW� WKH� %%&� �([WUD�studio. This is the kind of

comment that could cause

a raised eyebrow on a weekday lunchtime,

but it only takes a few minutes of f**ks, s**ts

and b*****ks to realise that swearing is as

natural as breathing, or indeed singing, for

this talented LA-born songstress.

Relentlessly informal, it’s striking to think

that this deeply down to earth woman, who

VZLIWO\�PRYHV�IURP�VZHDULQJ�WR�VXQJODVVHV�DV�D� WRSLF� RI� FRQYHUVDWLRQ�� LV� EHFRPLQJ� D� ERQD�ȴGH�SRS�VWDU��

With newly released album ‘Weapon

)RU� 6DWXUGD\ȇ� PDNLQJ� VXUI�ZRUWK\� ZDYHV� LQ�the music world, and a tour opening for John

1HZPDQ�DOVR�XQGHU�KHU�EHOW��LV�DOUHDG\�shaping up to be the year that catapults her

into UK stardom.

Although born in Tennessee, LOLO has a

VSHFLDO�DɝQLW\�ZLWK�/RQGRQ�OLIH��KDYLQJ�PRYHG�here for a year in her early twenties. “I needed

a bit of a break from New York,” she says. “The

RYHUDOO�YLEH�RI�/RQGRQ�ZDV�ZKDW�UHDOO\�PDGH�PH�ZDQW�WR�FRPH�RYHU�DQG�OLYH�KHUH��Ζ�ZDQWHG�to see what it was all about. It’s one thing to

hear about it, and another thing to actually

experience it.”

LOLO is all about experiencing life as

PXFK� DV� SRVVLEOH� Ȃ� VKH� HPEUDFHV� FKDQJH��ZHOFRPLQJ� DQ\� HYHQW� WKDW�ZLOO� LQVSLUH�KHU� RU�make her stronger. Now that she’s reached

��VKH�KDV�XQGHUJRQH�WKDW�ZRQGHUIXO�WZLVW�RI�SHUVSHFWLYH� WKDW� FRPHV� IURP�VHOI�DFFHSWDQFH�and not caring what others think. “I’m really

2&'�ȋ� VKH� FRQIHVVHV�� ȊΖ� XVHG� WR� REVHVV� RYHU�HYHU\WKLQJ��EXW� ΖȇYH� MXVW�GHFLGHG� ΖȇP�JRLQJ� WR�VWRS�JLYLQJ�D�V W�DERXW�WKH�WKLQJV�WKDW�GRQȇW�PDWWHU��ΖWȇV�QRW�ZRUWK�P\�WLPH��LWȇV�WDNHQ�\HDUV�to get to this point.” It’s a stage of life we all

look forward to, and usually opens up a wealth

RI�SRVVLELOLW\��HPRWLRQDOO\��SURIHVVLRQDOO\��DQG�LQ�/2/2ȇV�FDVH��FUHDWLYHO\�� ‘Weapon For Saturday’ is not your

DYHUDJH�DOEXP�ZLWK�D�KDQGIXO�RI�VLQJOHV�DQG�VRPH� VORSS\� ȴOO�LQ� WUDFNV�� (YHU\� WXQH� LV� D�succinct and slickly produced belter, with a

XQLTXH�YLEH�DQG�PHORG\�WKDW�GHȴHV�WKH�WHUP�‘catchy’ and borders on contagious.

“It took a while to get there,” she explains,

ȊEXW� ΖȇP� GHȴQLWHO\� KDSS\� ZLWK� WKH� RYHUDOO�sound of the album. It’s a natural progression

from my earlier songs, and represents where

I am at this point in my life. I’m lucky to

KDYH� ZRUNHG� ZLWK� VRPH� H[WUHPHO\� WDOHQWHG�producers.”

Yes, the producers. If you’re wondering

how this exceptionally gutsy and energetic

VRXQG� WUDQVODWHV� VR� ZHOO� IURP� URZG\� OLYH�SHUIRUPDQFHV� LQWR� WKH� FRQȴQHV� RI� D� UHFRUG��WKHQ� FUHGLW� LV� SDUWO\� GXH� WR� WKH� LPSUHVVLYH�team who worked with LOLO on the album.

7KH� EHDWV�KHDY\� YLEH� PDNHV� VHQVH� ZKHQ�you realise that Mark Batson of Dr. Dre and

Eminem fame is behind the production. The

JRRVH�EXPS� LQGXFLQJ� SRZHU� YRFDOV� LQ� Ȇ+DWH�8��ȇ�FRPH�IURP�D�FR�ZULWLQJ�SDUWQHUVKLS�ZLWK�Rihanna, Lana Del Ray and Bat for Lashes

VRQJZULWHU� -XVWLQ� 3DUNHU�� DQG� WKH� HPRWLYH�string motifs are courtesy of Rob Moose,

ZKR� \RXȇOO� KDYH� KHDUG� DGGLQJ� GHSWK� WR� \RXU�IDYRXULWH� WUDFNV�� IURP�%RQ� ΖYHU� DQG�$QWKRQ\�and the Johnsons.

� ΖWȇV�QR�ZRQGHU�/2/2�LV�IHHOLQJ�VR�SRVLWLYH�DERXW�WKH�UHFHSWLRQ�RI�WKLV�YHU\�SRZHUIXO�DQG�personal album.

With such a mighty force of both

FKDUDFWHU� DQG� WDOHQW� EHKLQG� LW�� ZH� KDYH� QR�doubt that ‘Weapon For Saturday’ has all

the muscle it needs to win the battle for UK

recognition. As far as weapons go, it’ll certainly

knock you out.

www.weaponforsaturday.com

GOING NUCLEAR

WITH NEW ALBUM ‘WEAPON FOR SATURDAY ’ OUT LATER THIS YEAR, LOLO HAS BIG PLANS FOR 2014…

Words: H A N N A H S L A P P E R

“d I ’M GOING TO STOP GIVING A S**T

ABOUT THE THINGS THAT

DON ’T MAT TER.

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rise andshine,LONDON...

THEY ARE LONDON’S MOST OUTRAGEOUS RADIO PRESENTERS. WITH 1.2MILLION LISTENERS TUNING IN, DRAFTED JOIN

CAPITAL BREAKFAST DJS , DAVE BERRY AND LISA SNOWDON , FOR A MORNING IN THE CAPITAL STUDIOS

elcome back to the

Capital Breakfast Show

on your Tuesday

PRUQLQJ�ȋ�EHDPV�'DYH�%HUU\� RQ� OLYH� UDGLR��Ȋ$QG�WKH�WLPH�LVȐȋ�

+H�SDXVHV��“Erm, I can’t actually see because my

friend’s head is in the way.” A split second of

VLOHQFH�IROORZV��'DYH�LV�ORRNLQJ�GLUHFWO\�DW�PH�Fast forward a millisecond and I’m

FURXFKHG�GRZQ�ORZ�RQ�WKH�JURXQG�Ȃ�FKXFNOLQJ�TXLHWO\� Ȃ� WKH� FORFN� QRZ� IXOO\� LQ� YLHZ�� ȊΖWȇV�TXDUWHU�SDVW�QLQH�ȋ�KH�\HOOV�Ȃ�D�UDXFRXV�FKHHU�

going up in the room.

This is the Capital Breakfast Show, where

FKDRV� LV� VLPSO\� LQJUDLQHG� LQ� WKH� GD\�WR�GD\��where celebrities appear at their own peril,

DQG� WKH� FRQYHQWLRQV� RI� WUDGLWLRQDO� UDGLR� DUH�quite simply non-existent. Lisa Snowdon, the

show’s co-presenter, wishes their listeners a

happy Tuesday and recaps some highlights

from the weekend’s episode of The Voice.

%HWZHHQ� WKHP�� 'DYH� DQG� /LVD� PDNH� D�IRUPLGDEOH�GRXEOH�DFW��EDQWHU�ȵLHV�DURXQG�WKH� URRP�HRUWOHVVO\� Ȃ� RQ�DQG�R�DLU� Ȃ�ZLWK� WKH�atmosphere swaying more towards ‘old

friends down the pub’ than ‘colleagues in a

ZRUN�HQYLURQPHQWȇ��Ȋ:H�JHW�RQ�YHU\�ZHOO�ȋ�/LVD�H[SODLQV�� Ȋ:H� HYHQ� VHH� HDFK�RWKHU�ZKHQ�ZH�GRQȇW�QHHG� WR��ZKLFK� LV� UDUH� LQ� WKLV�EXVLQHVV��WR� VHH� HDFK� RWKHU� HYHQ� ZKHQ� ZHȇUH� QRW� obliged.”

During their time on air together the duo

KDV� LQWHUYLHZHG� WKH� ELJJHVW� QDPHV� LQ� VKRZ�business. Will Smith. Britney Spears. Nicholas

Cage. The list is lengthy and prestigious.

ΖQWHUYLHZV� RQ� 7KH� %UHDNIDVW� 6KRZ�� KRZHYHU��don’t play by the rules, and tend to showcase

WKH� DQDUFKLF� QDWXUH� 'DYH� DQG� /LVD� KDYH�EHFRPH� UHQRZQHG� IRU�� Ȋ2XU� JXHVWV� QHYHU�KDYH�D�FOXH�ZKDW�ZHȇYH�JRW�SODQQHG�IRU�WKHP�ȋ�


Photography: J A Y M C L A U G H L I N

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Lisa smiles. “It gets pretty tense in the

build up to some ideas, because we

QHYHU� NQRZ� KRZ� WKH\ȇUH� JRLQJ� WR�react to something like Bum Bum

Bongos.”

Yes, Bum Bum Bongos. They

SURFHHG� WR� SXOO� XS� D� YLGHR� RI� D�SUHYLRXV� VKRZ�� 'DQLHO� 5DGFOLH�being a guest that morning. The

YLGHR� HQGV� ZLWK� KLP� EHQW� RYHU�/LVDȇV�ODS�Ȃ�WKH�&DSLWDO�%UHDNIDVW�'-�SOD\LQJ� WKH� +DUU\� 3RWWHU� VWDUȇV�backside, quite literally, like a

ERQJR�� Ȋ0\� IDYRXULWH� PRPHQW�has got to be Bum Bum Bongos,”

'DYH� ODXJKV� VRPHZKDW� SURXGO\��“We basically just spank our

guests, or they spank us.”

:LWK� DQ� DYHUDJH� ��PLOOLRQ�GDLO\�OLVWHQHUV��'DYH�DQG�/LVD�DUH�ȴUPO\� HVWDEOLVKHG� DV� /RQGRQȇV�number one breakfast show

KRVWV��7KH\ȇUH�DOO�DERXW�WKH�LGHDV��RULJLQDO� DQG� HQWHUWDLQLQJ�� EROG�DQG�PLVFKLHYRXV��DOZD\V�SXVKLQJ�the norms of radio to fresh and

stirring extremes.

$ORQJVLGH� ([HFXWLYH�Producer, Richard Steele, and

Breakfast Producer, Paul Phelps

Ȃ� ZKR� PDNH� XS� WKH� IRXU� SHUVRQ�&DSLWDO�%UHDNIDVW� WHDP�Ȃ�'DYH�DQG�/LVD� DUH� FRQWLQXDOO\� GHYLVLQJ� QHZ�and interesting ideas for the show. “I

XVXDOO\�FRPH�LQ�HYHU\�0RQGD\�ZLWK�D�OLVW� RI� GLHUHQW� LGHDV� RQ�P\�SKRQH�ȋ�'DYH�WHOOV�XV��ȊΖWȇV�QRUPDOO\�D�FROOHFWLRQ�RI�VLOO\�VWX�ΖȇYH�ZULWWHQ�GRZQ�RQ�QLJKWV�out. I’m always snapping pictures, or

recording things, or jotting down notes.”

“Do you remember that brainstorming

session we had after the Brits one year?” Lisa

DVNV�'DYH�“Oh dear, that was embarrassing,”

he recalls.

“We were in the back of a car and thought

ZH�ZHUH�KDYLQJ�WKH�PRVW�DPD]LQJ�LGHDV�ȋ�/LVD�continues, “and the next day you looked at

your phone and were like, ‘What the hell is

WKLV"�:KDW� GRHV� LW� HYHQ�PHDQ"ȇ� :H� FRXOGQȇW�use any of it. But at the time we thought it

was brilliant.”

7KLV�LV�'DYH�DQG�/LVDȇV��UG�\HDU�DV�&DSLWDO�Breakfast Show DJs, with a further two year

deal already penned with the radio station.

ΖQ�WKH�WLPH�WKH\ȇYH�EHHQ�SUHVHQWLQJ�WRJHWKHU��WKH�WZR�KDYH�EHFRPH�D�VOLFN�RSHUDWLRQ��7KH\�know when to hold back and let the other

speak, when to reel each other in when one

�PDLQO\� 'DYH�� LV� JHWWLQJ� FDUULHG� DZD\�� %RWK�ORRN�YHU\�PXFK�DW�KRPH�DQG�FRPIRUWDEOH� LQ�the studio.

ȊΖȇYH� SHUVRQDOO\� JRW� WR� WKH� SRLQW� ZKHUH� WKLV�LV�P\�KDSS\�VSRW�ȋ�'DYH�DGPLWV��Ȋ(YHU\RQH�KDV� WKHLU� OLWWOH� SUREOHPV� LQ� OLIH� WKH\� KDYH� WR�deal with, but the four hours I get to spend

in this room, with these people, is my happy

time. It’s when it comes towards the end

ZKHUH�Ζ�JR��Ȇ2K�I N��ΖȇYH�JRW�WR�JR�KDQGOH�WKDW�QRZ��RU�GHDO�ZLWK�ZKDWHYHU�VLWXDWLRQȇ��%XW�KHUH�

OUR GUESTS NEVERHAVE A CLUE WHAT

WE’VE GOT PLANNEDFOR THEM, IT GETS

PRET T Y TENSE IN THE BUILD UP TO SOME

IDEAS, BEC AUSE WENEVER KNOW HOW

THEY ’RE GOING TO REACT TO SOMETHING

LIKE BUM BUM BONGOS.- LISA SNOWDON

LQ� WKLV� OLWWOH�&DSLWDO�5DGLR�FRFRRQ��HYHU\WKLQJ� is blissful.”

Lisa suddenly notices something. “Oops,”

she says, readjusting her top, “just realised my

breasts are out slightly.”

“That’s another happy place of mine,”

'DYH�ODXJKV��Ȋ'$9(�ȋ�“Look,” he carries on, “I’d like to point

RXW�WKDW�Ζ�KDYH�DFWXDOO\�SXW�P\�KHDG�EHWZHHQ�WKRVH� PDJQLȴFHQW� EUHDVWV�� EXW� RQO\� ZKHQ� Ζ�was feeling particularly low. Lisa comforts me

OLNH�0DPD�%HDU��1RWKLQJ�KDV�HYHU�KDSSHQHG�between us, of course,” he turns to Lisa, “but

that top you’re wearing, from a totally platonic

SRLQW� RI� YLHZ�� GRHV� PDNH� \RXU� W WV� ORRN�fantastic.”

�'XULQJ�RXU�LQWHUYLHZ��'DYH�DQG�/LVD�ȵLWWHU�back and forth between their broadcasting

duties and speaking with DRAFTED. Sentences

DUH�OHIW�KDOI�ȴQLVKHG��FRQFOXGHG�ZKHQ�WKH�UHG�OLJKW� Ȃ� VLJQDOLQJ� OLYH� DLU� Ȃ� LV� WXUQHG� EDFN� R�DJDLQ�� $V� WKH� VKRZ� DSSURDFKHV� LWV� ȴQDO� ��PLQXWHV��WKH�WZR�SUHVHQWHUV�GLVFXVV�WKHLU�ORYH�of radio, and the pleasure they take from their

profession. “It’s a fun job,” Lisa grins. “We’re

UHDOO\� OXFN\�� (YHQ� RQ� WKRVH� GD\V� ZKHQ� WKH�DODUP�JRHV�R�DQG�\RX�MXVW�WKLQN��Ȇ$UJKKȐ�I N�LWȇ��\RX�FRPH�LQ�KHUH��DQG�\RX�VHH�HYHU\RQHȇV�IDFHȐȋ

Ȋ/RRN�DW�WKDW�OLWWOH�IDFH�ȋ�'DYH�LQWHUMHFWV��pointing playfully at Richard.

Ȋ7KRVH�SX\��VZROOHQ�IDFHV�IURP�JHWWLQJ�up so early,” Lisa giggles.

Ȋ$OO�URXJK�DQG�XJO\�ȋ�'DYH�DGGV�They all crack up laughing.

“But we’re all in it together,” Lisa

FRQFOXGHV��Ȋ:H�JHQXLQHO\�KDYH�D�ODXJK�GRLQJ�this job.”

Tune in to the Capital Breakfast Show with Dave Berry & Lisa Snowdon weekdays from 6am on 95.8 Capital FM, DAB digital radio, at capitalfm.com and on the app

The Capital Breakfast Show wraps up for

DQRWKHU�GD\�� /DWHU� WKDW� HYHQLQJ�� WKH� WHDP� LV�KHDGLQJ�RXW�IRU�WKH��75Ζ&�$ZDUGV��ZKHUH�WKH\ȇYH�EHHQ�QRPLQDWHG�IRU�%HVW�'LJLWDO�5DGLR�Programme Sponsored by Pure. Regardless

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ORANGE: THE NEW

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Shorts – )UDQNOLQ��0DUVKDOO

Photography: Simon Wisbey, Styling: 5LYNLH�%DXP��Model:�)UHGGLH�#�0RGHOV��

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I often get strangers looking at me and going, ‘What?’

“

t’s a sunny April morning

and Ross Noble is excited.

Moments earlier, a loud

knock on the front door of

his Kent home forces the

Cramlington-born comic out of his seat. It’s the

SRVWPDQ��GHOLYHULQJ�D�UDWKHU� ODUJH�� LQWULJXLQJ�ORRNLQJ�SDUFHO�� ȊΖ� ORYH�JHWWLQJ�PDVVLYH� WKLQJV�through the post,” he says.

“You should open it,” I suggest, sensing

the anticipation. “No, no,” he replies. “It will

JLYH�PH�VRPHWKLQJ�WR�ORRN�IRUZDUG�WR�ODWHU�ȋ�� 1REOH� KDV� D� EXV\� GD\� DKHDG�� KHȇV�currently designing the backdrop for his

upcoming tour, Tangentleman, which will be

JUDFLQJ� /RQGRQȇV� +DPPHUVPLWK� $SROOR� LQ�'HFHPEHU� WKLV� \HDU�� +H� GHVLJQV� KLV� VKRZȇV�EDFNGURSV� SHUVRQDOO\�� DOZD\V� H[WUDYDJDQW��

DOZD\V� YLVXDOO\� VWLPXODWLQJ�� DQG�DOZD\V� D�ELW��HUP��ZHLUG� Ȃ� D� SK\VLFDO�PDQLIHVWDWLRQ� RI� KLV�unique and often surreal mind.

� 1REOHȇV� SHUIRUPDQFHV� KDYH� EHHQ�WUDGHPDUNHG�E\�KLV�DELOLW\�WR�FRQMXUH�YLYLG�DQG�UHȴQHG� QRQVHQVH� RXW� RI� WKLQ� DLU�� DORQJ� ZLWK�a substantial amount of general tomfoolery.

+LV�OLYH�VKRZ�LV�D�UDXFRXV�EOHQG�RI�GLJUHVVLRQV�DQG� TXLFN� ZLW�� KHDYLO\� EXLOW� DURXQG� FURZG�SDUWLFLSDWLRQ��2�WKH�FX� FRQYHUVDWLRQV�ZLWK�DXGLHQFH� PHPEHUV� OHDG� KLP� GUDVWLFDOO\� R�WRSLF� LQWR� EL]DUUHO\� LPDJLQDWLYH� UDQWV�� +HȇV�QHYHU�PHDQ�VSLULWHG��+H�QHYHU� ODXQFKHV� LQWR�Frankie Boyle-esque tirades on the front

URZ�� ΖQ� IDFW�� KHȇV� YHU\� PXFK� D� JHQWOHPDQ�� ȊΖ� QHYHU� ZDQW� WR� EH� PHDQ� WR� DQ\RQH�ȋ� he explains. “It’s not really what I’m about.”

� $OWKRXJK�WKHUH�DUH�VXEWOH��SUHFRQFHLYHG

I”LONG, WILD TANGENTS. NONSENSE-FUELLED RAMBLINGS.

SOCIALLY AWKWARD OUTBURSTS. HAVING ROSS NOBLE’S BRAIN CAN’T ALWAYS BE EASY. IT MAY LAND HIM IN STICKY SITUATIONS FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT HIS LOGIC-DEFYING

THOUGHT PROCESS IS WHAT MAKES NOBLE THE MOST UNIQUE COMEDIAN OF OUR GENERATION.


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Ross Noble in

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VWRU\� DUFV� ZKLFK� WKUHDG� WKURXJK� HYHU\� DFW��SURYLGLQJ�D�JKRVWO\�HOHPHQW�RI� VWUXFWXUH��KLV�VKRZV� ODUJHO\�HYROYH�IURP�WKH�FLUFXPVWDQFHV�surrounding him. The challenge is being quick

enough to keep up. Often, his trademark

WDQJHQWV� DUH� OHIW� WHPSRUDULO\� XQȴQLVKHG�� DV�he enthusiastically embarks on a separate

WKRXJKW�WUDLO��0LG�WDQJHQW�WDQJHQWV��+RZHYHU��HYHQ� LI� LWȇV� OHIW� ULJKW� XQWLO� WKH� ELWWHU� HQG� RI�WKH� VKRZ�� HYHU\� VLQJOH� DQHFGRWH�� HYHU\�UDPEOHG� GHWRXU�� LV� HYHQWXDOO\� FRQFOXGHG��The words, “Don’t worry, I’ll get back to it

later” are somewhat commonplace during

his set, and you know that he means it.

After seeing Noble perform at the

Brighton Dome a few years ago, I couldn’t help

wondering how he’d interact with people who

were unfamiliar with his particular brand of

FRPHG\��+RZ�ZRXOG�KH�FKDW�WR�D�VXSHUPDUNHW�cashier? Or dicuss homework with his

daughter’s school teachers? Can he turn his

LQFOLQDWLRQ� WRZDUGV� JLEEHULVK�RQ� DQG�R"�2U�does this on-stage digression addiction seep

into his day-to-day life? “It’s a nightmare,” he

ODXJKV��Ȋ7KHUHȇV�QR�UHDO�GLHUHQFH�EHWZHHQ�PH�RQ�VWDJH� DQG�PH�R�VWDJH��:KHQ� VRPHERG\�says something, my default position is to

make a joke. I often get strangers looking at

me and going, ‘What?’”

� Ζ�DVN�IRU�DQ�H[DPSOH��ȊΖ�ZDV�RXW�GLUW�ELNH�riding a while back,” he begins, “and went into

D� SHWURO� VWDWLRQ� FRPSOHWHO\� FRYHUHG� LQ�PXG��The woman behind the counter looked at me

DQG� ZHQW�� Ȇ(UP�� \RXȇYH� JRW� ORDGV� RI� GLUW� RQ�\RXU� IDFHȇ��%HIRUH� ΖȇG�HYHQ�VWRSSHG�WR� WKLQN� Ζ�just said, ‘Yeah, it’s amazing how dirty you get

when you’re burying a body’.

“If someone recognises me and I say

VRPHWKLQJ� OLNH� WKDW�� LWȇV� ȴQH�� %XW� Ζ� JHW� D� ORW�RI� SHRSOH� WXUQLQJ� DURXQG� WR�PH� DQG� VD\LQJ��‘Sorry? What did you just say?’ Basically, the

more recognisable I become, the easier my

life gets.”

� 2YHU�WKH�ODVW��\HDUV��1REOH�KDV�EHFRPH�one of the most successful comedians of his

JHQHUDWLRQ��ZLWK� �� VHOO� RXW� WRXUV� DQG� �� WRS�VHOOLQJ� '9'V� WR� KLV� QDPH�� ΖQ� �� KH� ZDV�UDQNHG� ��WK� DOO�WLPH� JUHDWHVW� VWDQG� XS� LQ� D�&KDQQHO��SROO��DQG�KDV�PDGH�QXPHURXV�RWKHU�WHOHYLVLRQ�DSSHDUDQFHV� LQFOXGLQJ�The Graham Norton Show (alongside Kate Perry and Cheryl

Cole), Have I Got News For You and Stephen Fry’s

QI� Ȃ�ZKHUH� KH�ZDV� ODXGHG� IRU� WKH�ZHDOWK� RI�general knowledge he possesses. “QI is mainly

DERXW� LUUHOHYDQW� LQIRUPDWLRQ� WKDW� QRERG\ȇV�heard of,” he says. “A couple of times on there,

ΖȇYH�JRQH�� Ȇ+ROG�RQ�� Ζ� NQRZ� WKLVȇ�� 6WHSKHQ�)U\�always looks so shocked.”

� +LV� DVVRUWPHQW� RI� NQRZOHGJH� DOVR�FRPHV� LQ� KDQG\� GXULQJ� KLV� OLYH� VKRZV�� ZLWK�niche references to obscure topics frequently

EHLQJ�PDGH� WKURXJKRXW� WKH�VHW��RFFDVLRQDOO\�producing a sea of blank faces if the reference

LV� WRR� IDU� ȵXQJ�� 2IWHQ� GXULQJ� FKDUDFWHULVWLF�FRQYHUVDWLRQV� ZLWK� DXGLHQFH� PHPEHUV�� KHȇOO�garner some impressed raised eyebrows

by knowing specialised information about

their jobs or hobbies. “It’s funny,” Noble

notes, “because I know a little about a lot of

VWX��Ζ�GRQȇW�UHDOO\�NQRZ�D�ORW�DERXW�DQ\WKLQJ�in particular. Some people are a well of

LQIRUPDWLRQ�� ZKHUHDV� ΖȇP� OLNH� D� ȴQH� WDUPDF�RI� LQIRUPDWLRQ�� MXVW� WKLV� WKLQO\� VSUHDG� FUXVW�across the top.”

� )RU�HYHU\�NQRZOHGJHDEOH�TXLS�LQ�KLV�VHW��there is an equal amount of material which

VRPH� GHHP� FRQWURYHUVLDO�� $Q� H[DPSOH�� KH�WHOOV� D� VWRU\� LQYROYLQJ� KLV� ZKHHOFKDLU�XVLQJ�'DG�KDYLQJ�DQ�DOWHUFDWLRQ�ZLWK�D�EOLQG�IHOORZ�DERXW�ȊZKR�VKRXOG�KDYH�JRWWHQ�RXW�WKH�ZD\�RI�HDFK�RWKHUȋ�ȴUVW�� Ȋ(YHU\RQHȇV� JRW� WKHLU� RZQ�line of what’s right or wrong in comedy,” he

considers. “I think it’s all about attitude. As

long as you’re not being nasty, I think you can

talk about anything.”

� 1REOH� LV� VDYY\� ZKHQ� LW� FRPHV� WR� KLV�SDUWLDOLW\� WRZDUGV� FDXVLQJ� RHQFH�� +H� QHYHU�VHWV� RXW� WR� EH� GHOLEHUDWHO\� SURYRFDWLYH�� EXW�instead touches upon social situations which

are classic opinion splitters. There’s no

denying, though, that he’s at his most scathing

ZKHQ� GLVFXVVLQJ� KLV� YLHZV� RQ� WKH� ELJJHVW�WDEERR��UHOLJLRQ��ȊΖ� ORYH�WDONLQJ�DERXW�UHOLJLRQ�on stage,” he smiles. “The way I see it, if you

were making jokes about somebody from

THERE’S NO REAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME ON STAGE AND ME OFF STAGE. WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING, MY DEFAULT POSITION IS TO MAKE A JOKE


a particular country or ethnic background

then I would say, ‘You know what, that’s out

of order’.

� Ȋ%XW�SHRSOH�ZKR�DUH�FKRRVLQJ�WR�EHOLHYH�LQ�VRPHWKLQJ��WKDWȇV�D�FKRLFH�Ȃ�\RXȇUH�QRW�ERUQ�ZLWK� WKDW�� :KDWȇV� IXQQ\� LV� WKDW� LI� \RX� HYHQ�mention the word Muslim on stage, half the

room go, ‘Racist’, and the other half of the

URRP�JR��Ȇ6KKȐ�\RX�FDQȇW�VD\�WKDWȇ�ȋ More than anything, consistency has

played a key role in Noble’s prolonged

VXFFHVV� LQ� FRPHG\�� +LV� IDQV� NQRZ�what they’re getting from him, and his

SHUIRUPDQFHV� HQFDSVXODWH� KLV� GLVWLQFWLYH�character. Thankfully that character hasn’t

FKDQJHG� PXFK� LQ� WKH� ODVW� �� \HDUV�� 1RU�has his gift for lightning-sharp witticisms.

And, whether you like it or not, neither has

that hair. Noble once described himself as looking

OLNH� ȊHYHU\� VLQJOH� FKDUDFWHU� IURP� Lord Of The Rings combined together”. It’s an instantly

UHFRJQLVDEOH� LPDJH�� RQH� WKDW� KDV� GHȴQHG�his entire career so far. Luckily for Noble,

though, it’s something his wife doesn’t seem

WR� PLQG� WRR� PXFK�� Ȋ:KHQ� ZH� ȴUVW� PHW� P\�KDLU�ZDV�HYHQ�PRUH�ULGLFXORXV�WKDQ�LW�LV�QRZ�ȋ�KH� UHȵHFWV�� ȊΖ� WKLQN� LW� ZDV� JUHHQ�� RU� PXOWL�coloured. So it’s much better than it was.

She’s asked me to wash it a few times, but

that’s about it. Although she did once tell me it

smells like a dead sheep.

“I am going to get it cut one day. The

main reason why I don’t cut it is because

Ζ�UHFNRQ�ΖȇG�KDYH�DERXW�VL[�PRQWKV�RI�SHRSOH�MXVW�JRLQJ��Ȇ2K��\RXȇYH�FXW�\RXU�KDLUȇ�ZKHUHYHU�Ζ�ZHQWȇ�ȋ Although he’s amongst the most

familiar faces in the UK, Noble has a deep-

rooted humbleness. Maybe it’s his Geordie

upbringing. Maybe it’s the sheer graft he’s put

in to get where he is today. Maybe it’s that his

attitude doesn’t lend itself well to being highly

VWUXQJ� RU� HJRWLVWLFDO�� :KDWHYHU� WKH� UHDVRQ��LQWHJULW\� LV� D� ȴUPO\� LPEHGGHG� DVSHFW� RI� KLV�personality. “I’m not really the showbiz type,”

KH�H[SODLQV��ȊΖ�GULYH�DURXQG�LQ��\HDU�ROG�SLFN�up truck. I do own a load of motorbikes, and

an old British Army tank which I sometimes

GULYH� DURXQG� Ȃ� EXW� HYHQ� LI� \RX� DGG� XS� WKH�YDOXH�RI�P\�YDQ��P\�WDQN��DQG�P\�PRWRUELNHV��they still probably come to less than the price

of a sports car.”

With his new tour coming up later this

year, Noble is preparing for another comedy

whirlwind, spread across the UK from

6HSWHPEHU�WR�)HEUXDU\��%XW�ȴUVW��WKHUHȇV�the small matter of an unopened parcel to

attend to.

Catch Ross Noble at the Hammersmith Apollo

on December 3, 4 and 5.

www.rossnoble.com

I THINK IT ’S ALL ABOUT AT TITUDE. AS LONG AS YOU ’RE NOT BEING NAST Y,

I THINK YOU C AN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

M U S I C 43

JOHN MARTIND R A F T E D M E E T S I N G E R / S O N G W R I T E R J O H N M A RT I N T O D I S C U S S H I S N E W S O L O

C A R E E R , T O P P I N G T H E C H A RT S W I T H S W E D I S H H O U S E M A F I A A N D S C O U R I N G T H E U K F O R A N E W B A N D…

itting in a booth at Proud

Camden, sipping a Jack

Daniel’s and Coke, it’s

apparent that John

Martin is a relaxed man.

7KH� ȆJR� WRȇ� YRFDOLVW� RI�ZRUOG�FRQTXHULQJ� 6ZHGLVK� +RXVH� 0DȴD� LV� embarking on a new solo quest, and is

currently on these shores searching for

PXVLFDO� KHQFKPDQ� WR� FDUU\� KLV� OLYH� VKRZ�through Britain. “Character, personality and

chemistry are extremely important,” he says

of his auditioning process. “Of course, they

KDYH�WR�EH�JRRG�SOD\HUV��PXVLFDOO\��EXW� WKHLU�HQHUJ\�LV�YLWDO�ȋ�

Growing up on a musical diet of The

'RRUV� DQG� 1LUYDQD�� 0DUWLQ� MRLQHG� KLV� ȴUVW�EDQG�DJHG��DQG�VWDUWHG�FRPSRVLQJ�RULJLQDO�PDWHULDO�D�IHZ�\HDUV�ODWHU��+RZHYHU��LW�ZDVQȇW�XQWLO�PHHWLQJ�0LFKHO�=LWURQ�WKDW�WKHLU�FROOHFWLYH�FUHDWLYLW\�ZDV� DFWXDOLVHG�� WKH� WZR�KDYH�EHHQ�ZULWLQJ� VLQFH� �� DQG� KDYH� DOZD\V� WULHG� WR�FRQYH\�� O\ULFDOO\��PRUH� WKDQ� MXVW� WKH� DYHUDJH�pop song.

Ȋ0LFKHO� DQG� Ζ� KDYH� EHHQ� ZULWLQJ� VRQJV�together for so long, we really know what

works for us,” Martin continues. “We want

WKHUH� WR� EH� D� PHVVDJH� Ȃ� WKDW� ZKDWHYHU�SUREOHP�\RX�PD\�KDYH��LWȇV�JRLQJ�WR�EH�RND\��ΖI�\RX�ORRN�DW�RXU�VRQJV��PDQ\�RI�WKHP�KDYH�that message.”

$IWHU� \HDUV� RI� EHLQJ� LQYROYHG� LQ� URFN� bands, Zitron and Martin’s songwriting

blossomed when they began edging away

IURP�URFN�DQG�UROO��GLVFRYHULQJ�D�VKDUHG�ORYH�of electronic music. “I did the whole ‘being in

a rock band’ thing for many years,” Martin

explains, “and personally I wasn’t hearing

PXFK�QHZ�URFN�PXVLF�WKDW�ZDV�JLYLQJ�PH�DQ\�inspiration. When I started hearing electronic

PXVLF� IRU� WKH�ȴUVW� WLPH� LW�ZDV� OLNH�� Ȇ+H\�� WKLV�IHHOV�QHZȇ��ΖW�JDYH�PH�D�ORW�RI�HQHUJ\��DQG�ZH�were inspired to take electronic music and use

Words: M A T T R U S S E L L

Sto get noticed],” he recalls, “but when it took

R�� LW� JRW�KXJH�� Ζ� WKLQN� WKDW� FOXE� FXOWXUH�DQG�DJ culture has been going on much longer in

other places in the world than in Sweden.”

It wasn’t long before other stars came

knocking on his door. After meeting Tinie

Tempah in Ibzia, Martin featured on the

British rapper’s single ‘Children of the Sun’.

“The song came out well,” Martin smiles. “Our

VW\OHV�UHDOO\�ZRUNHG��7LQLH�LV�VXSHU�UK\WKPLFDO�ZLWK� KLV� GHOLYHU\�� DQG� Ζ� KDYH� P\� ZD\� RI�singing longer, holding notes. It was a good

combination.”

$IWHU� D� YDULHW\� RI� GLHUHQW� VXFFHVVHV�RYHU�WKH�ODVW�IHZ�\HDUV�WKH�6ZHGLVK�VRQJZULWHU�is now focused whole-heartedly on his own

ascension to the top of the charts, and it

VHHPV�KHȇV�XQHDUWKHG�KLV�LQGLYLGXDO�VW\OH��ȊΖ�WKLQN�ΖȇYH�IRXQG�P\�YRLFH�ȋ�KH�VD\V��ȊEXW�

if we stand still for too long things become

ERULQJ��:H�ZDQW�HYHU\�VRQJ�WR�EH�XQLTXH��:H�DOPRVW� WU\� DQG� IRRO� RXUVHOYHV� DQG� SUHWHQG�ZHȇUH�ZULWLQJ�IRU�D�GLHUHQW�DUWLVW�VR� LW�NHHSV�things interesting. It’s an album that’s inspired

E\�GDQFH�PXVLF�EXW�VWLOO�NHHSV�D�OLYH�IHHO�WR�LW��:H� KDG� WKLV� LGHD� WR� DGG� RUJDQLF� SDUWV�� UHDO�JXLWDUV� DQG� SLDQRV� DQG� EDVV� EXW� VWLOO� KDYH�programmed drums.”

If there’s one thing the music industry

always welcomes with open arms it’s a twist

on an old genre. Martin’s unique position,

bridging the gap between rock and electronic

music, allows him to map out a blueprint for

what could be, if all goes to plan, an exciting

new sound we’ll be hearing for years to come.

New single ‘Love Louder ‘ is out later this year. ZZZ�MRKQPDUWLQRɝFLDO�FRP

LW�WR�FUHDWH�SURSHU�VRQJV��ZLWK�SURSHU�YRFDOV�ȋ�Martin went from strength to strength.

$IWHU� D� FKDQFH�PHHWLQJ�ZLWK� 6ZHGLVK�+RXVH�0DȴD� O\QFKSLQ� 6HEDVWLDQ� ΖQJURVVR�� KH� ZDV�asked to write and sing on some of their

tracks including ‘Don’t You Worry Child’, which

debuted at Number One in the UK Album

Chart. “That song completely changed our

OLYHV�ȋ�KH�VD\V��Ȋ:H�NQHZ�WKHUH�ZDV�VRPHWKLQJ�VSHFLDO�LQ�WKDW�VRQJ�EXW�ZH�QHYHU�H[SHFWHG�LW�WR�EH�VR�KXJH�DOO�RYHU�WKH�ZRUOG�� ΖW�ZDV�KDUG�to take it in.”

�+LV�FROODERUDWLRQV�ZLWK�6ZHGLVK�+RXVH� 0DȴD�DFKLHYHG� JOREDO� VXFFHVV�� <HW�� LURQLFDOO\�for the Swede, it was his nation-state that was

a little late to the party. “It took much, much

ORQJHU� LQ� 6ZHGHQ� >IRU� 6ZHGLVK� +RXVH�0DȴD�

WE WANT THERE TO BE A MESSAGE - THAT WHATEVER

PROBLEM YOU MAY HAVE,IT ’S GOING TO BE OKAY

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John Martin

performing

‘Anywhere For

You’

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44 F E A T U R E

I

Jen Summers, Communications Consultant

at Logistik, outlines some top tips you can

put into action today, to boost your EQ and

LPSURYH�\RXU�FKDQFHV�RI�SURPRWLRQ��DV�ZHOO�DV�ZRUN�VDWLVIDFWLRQ��

1. Wake up your emotional awareness.

Score how you feel at work out of ten. If you

are a six, what would a ten feel like? Picture it.

What can you do to get there?

2. Notice how you react to situations.

What shuts you down or energises you?

Notice this in other people too. Emotions are

information. Use them to change things for

the better.

3.� *LYH� RWKHUV� \RXU� IXOO� DWWHQWLRQ� ZKHQ�they are speaking, and don’t interrupt or

ȴQLVK�WKHLU�VHQWHQFHV��+DYH�D�UHDO��WZR�ZD\�FRQYHUVDWLRQ��

4.� 3D\�DWWHQWLRQ�WR�QRQYHUEDO�FXHV�\RXȇUH�VHQGLQJ� DQG� UHFHLYLQJ�� )DFLDO� H[SUHVVLRQ��WRQH�RI�YRLFH��SRVWXUH�DQG�JHVWXUHV�FDQ�WHOO�you so much more about someone’s reaction

than what they say.

5. Accept that you can’t be perfect all the

time. Admit your mistakes and know when to

ask for help. See this as a sign of strength, not

of weakness. Your honest approach will help

others do the same.

Words : MILLIE STEPHENS

FIVE WAYS TO BOOST YOUREQ AT WORK

ur world is populated

ZLWK� EXVLQHVV� EX]]ZRUGV��nuggets of jargon that are

contextually trendy.

Using this lexicon of

entrepreneurship has become

a skill of its own. It’s essential for employees to

ensure all mindshares are quickly actionable

LQ�RUGHU� WR� FUHDWH� V\QHUJ\��%XW�HYHU\� VR�RIWHQ�a simple word, born of a simple idea, can truly

PDNH�D�GLHUHQFH�LQ�ERWK�PHDQLQJ�DQG�LQWHQW��In this case the word of choice is mindset. Originally coined by world-renowned

6WDQIRUG� 8QLYHUVLW\� SV\FKRORJLVW� &DURO�Dweck, mindset has become the word used

in boardrooms and internal communication

VWUDWHJLHV� WR� GLVFXVV� WKH� GHYHORSPHQW� RI�business-related EQ (emotional intelligence).

'ZHN�EHOLHYHV�ȊWKH�YLHZ�\RX�DGRSW�IRU�\RXUVHOI�SURIRXQGO\�DHFWV�WKH�ZD\�\RX�OHDG�\RXU�OLIH��ΖW�can determine whether you become the person

you want to be and whether you accomplish

WKH�WKLQJV�\RX�YDOXHȋ� Daniel Goleman, also a psychologist, lists,

alongside mindfulness, emotional agility,

intuition and concentration as the keys to

business success. This combination of factors

raises important questions for businesses

GHYHORSLQJ� WKHLU� LQWXLWLYH� FRQFHQWUDWHG� VNLOO�base. Namely - how to best accommodate

the needs of their clients whilst nurturing

WKH� PRVW� SURGXFWLYH� WHDP� HQYLURQPHQW�� ΖW�DOVR� UDLVHV� PDQ\� TXHVWLRQV� IRU� WKH� LQGLYLGXDO�HPSOR\HH�ORRNLQJ�WR�SURJUHVV�DQG�GHYHORS�LQ�D�professional setting.

�� 0DQ\� YLHZ� PLQGVHW� DV� KDYLQJ�WZR� GLVWLQFW� DSSURDFKHV�� WKH� ȴUVW�Ȇȴ[HGȇ� DQG� WKH� VHFRQG� ȆJURZWKȇ� $Q� LQGLYLGXDO� ZLWK� D� ȴ[HG� PLQGVHW� OLYHV� E\�documenting their intelligence or talent,

EHOLHYLQJ� WKH\� DUH� VLPSOH� WUDLWV� DQG� QRW�GHYHORSLQJ� WKHP�� +RZHYHU�� DQ� LQGLYLGXDO� ZLWK�D� JURZWK� PLQGVHW� EHOLHYHV� WKHLU� PRVW� EDVLF�DELOLWLHV� FDQ� EH� GHYHORSHG� WKURXJK� GHGLFDWLRQ�

and hard work, using their brains and talent as

a mere starting point. Certainly, a high degree

of EQ demands a capacity for change and

GHYHORSPHQW�� EXW�*ROHPDQ� DOVR� EHOLHYHV� WKDW��in many ways, these capacities are inherent in

someone’s personality.

Logistik Group, one of the UK’s leading

Communications and Engagement agencies,

KDYH�UHFHQWO\�GRQH�VLJQLȴFDQW�ZRUN�RQ�WKH�UROH�RI�(4�LQ�DQ�LQGLYLGXDOȇV�EXVLQHVV�OLIH��0DWW�(GH��+HDG�RI�&RQVXOWDQF\�KDV� VDLG�� ȊΖQ�D� FRUSRUDWH�world, the most successful businesses

understand the power of creating the right

mindset for the business to perform in the

way it wants to. What organisations so often

get wrong is that they fail to understand and

close the gap between the existing mindset of

their employees, and the mindset they require

to grow.”

Whilst companies may appear to be

KHOSLQJ�WKHLU�HPSOR\HHV�GHYHORS��(GH�VXJJHVWV�WKDW� ȊHQJDJHPHQW� VXUYH\V�GRQȇW� FXW� LW�� DV� WKH\�are often centered around what companies

ZDQW� WR� NQRZ� WR� LPSURYH� WKHPVHOYHV�� UDWKHU�than coaxing out what employees really want

to say. Once you understand your employees,

only then can you begin to shape the way they

think and feel about you, and help to generate

LQGLYLGXDO�DQG�EXVLQHVV�VXFFHVV�ȋΖI� LPSURYLQJ� (4� LV� FUXFLDO� WR� RXU�

GHYHORSPHQW�� ZK\� DUH� ZH� QRW� PRUH� LQ� WXQH�with it? And why don’t more companies focus

RQ� LPSURYLQJ� WKLV� DVSHFW�RI� RXU� VNLOOVHW� UDWKHU�than simply teaching us the tools to do the

REYLRXV"� 7KH� DQVZHU� LV� SHUKDSV� EDVHG� LQ� WKH�VHULRXV�ODFN�RI�WUXH�LQYHVWPHQW�PDGH�E\�PDQ\�FRUSRUDWLRQV� LQ�WKH�DGYDQFHPHQW�RI� WKHLU�VWD�DV� LQGLYLGXDOV�� KRZHYHU� OLNHO\� LW� LV� WR� LPSURYH�their professional performance. The process of

JURZLQJ�RXU�(4�GRHV�QRW�KDYH�WR�OLH�VROHO\�ZLWK�our employers, but can rest in our own hands

as we work to LQFUHDVH�RXU�LQGLYLGXDO�FKDQFHV�both personally and professionally.

T H E N E W P S YC H O L O GY O F S U C C E S S , O R J U S T A B U S I N E S S B U Z Z WO R D ?

EQ

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VS

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F E A T U R E 45

under cover Words : E L I S H E V A S O K O L I C

HERE AT DRAFTED, WE WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO OVERLOOK LITERATURE’S

BEST OFFERINGS. THAT’S WHY WE’RE FEATURING ‘BOOKS YOU MIGHT HAVE

MISSED’ THIS MONTH. CHECK OUT THESE GEMS WE’VE UNEARTHED…

Richard Wiseman wants

to help you get better

at sleeping.

It all matters. Your

sleep patterns don’t just

DHFW� \RXU� SURGXFWLYLW\�DQG� KHDOWK�� EXW� HYHQ�your personality, and

THERE IS A REAL INSIGHT

INTO THE NECESSIT Y

OF A STEADY SLEEP ROUTINE

chances of success, both in business and

your personal life. Poor sleep is responsible

IRU� FRVWLQJ� EXVLQHVVHV� ��ELOOLRQ� HDFK� \HDU�LQ�ORVW�SURGXFWLYLW\��DV�ZHOO�DV�FDXVLQJ�DW�OHDVW��DQQXDO�URDG�DFFLGHQWV�LQ�WKH�86$� Despite the likelihood that Wiseman

could write an encyclopaedia on the subject,

in Night School he feeds us only the most

LQWHUHVWLQJ�DQG��UHOHYDQW�LQIRUPDWLRQ��LQ�HDV\�to-swallow bites.

Along with all the pop-science, designed

to make us feel intelligent, Wiseman answers

VHYHUDO�RI�WKRVH�SUHVVLQJ�ȆPLGGOH�RI�WKH�QLJKWȇ�TXHVWLRQV��LQFOXGLQJ�Ȋ:K\�LVQȇW�WKDW�ȵ\�NHHSLQJ�my wife awake as well as me?”, “Is there any

WUXWK� WR� FRXQWLQJ� VKHHS"ȋ� DQG� Ȋ+RZ� PDQ\�GLYRUFHV� FLWH� VQRULQJ� DV� UHDVRQDEOH� FDXVH"ȋ��$QVZHU��+H�DOVR�LQWURGXFHV�XV�WR�EULOOLDQW�characters such as the sound sleepers who are

fooled into thinking they are insomniacs after

YLYLGLO\�GUHDPLQJ�WKH\�DUH�DZDNH�DOO�QLJKW�ORQJ��or the naked nocturnal gardener. (At least

he’s helping out around the place?) There’s

HYHQ� D�ZRPDQ�ZKR�DFWXDOO\� VOHHS�ZDONV� RXW�RI� KHU� KRXVH� HDFK� QLJKW� WR� KDYH� VH[� ZLWK� complete strangers.

Underneath the science, and Wiseman’s

warm humorous tone, there is a real insight into

the necessity of a steady sleep routine, whether

\RX�VWUXJJOH�WR�QRG�R�RU�QRW��)XOO�RI�VWDWLVWLFV�

and biological facts, Wiseman explores

napping, sleep disorders, and dreams, as

well as taking us into the history of sleep in

DQ�HQJDJLQJ�DQG�HQWHUWDLQLQJ�ZD\��+H�GHOYHV�into how technology has changed the way

ZH�XVH�RXU�GD\�DQG�QLJKW��DV�ZHOO�DV�DGYLVLQJ�on a plethora of sleep-

related problems

caused by children,

partners, stress, work

or that dripping tap

you must get around

WR�ȴ[LQJ�� %HVW�RI�DOO��KH�JLYHV�\RX�VFLHQWLȴF�SURRI�WKDW�you should be taking your

IDYRXULWH�GRJ�HDUHG�WHGG\�into work with you, for a

desktop catnap.

Whether it’s a gift,

used for reference, or

just genuine interest

in the subject matter,

we couldn’t recommend Night School more

heartily. When you’re up until the early hours

turning those pages, at least you’ll be able

WR� FLWH� WKH� VFLHQWLȴF� UHDVRQV� ZK\� \RXȇUH� VR�KRUULEO\�XQSURGXFWLYH�WKH�IROORZLQJ�GD\�

%DVHG�DW�WKH�8QLYHUVLW\�RI�+HUWIRUGVKLUH��:LVHPDQ� LV� %ULWDLQV� ȴUVW� 3URIHVVRU� IRU�the Public Understanding of Psychology.

+H� KDV� DQ� LQWHUQDWLRQDO� UHSXWDWLRQ�for his research into unusual areas,

including deception, luck, humour

and the paranormal. Frequently

quoted by the media, his research has

EHHQ� IHDWXUHG� RQ� RYHU� �� WHOHYLVLRQ�SURJUDPPHV�DFURVV�WKH�ZRUOG��+H� LV�WKH�DXWKRU� RI� WKH� LQWHUQDWLRQDO� EHVWVHOOHUb

59 Seconds.

RICHARD WISEMAN

ALSO THIS MONTH

SHOTGUN LOVE SONGSNICKOLAS BUTLER

MACMILL ANComfortingly familiar and exhilaratingly

HPRWLYH��Shotgun Love Songs is the story

of four old friends, with their own unique

VWRULHV��HDFK�WU\LQJ�WR�UHWXUQ�KRPH�DQG�recapture the simplicity of their youth.

/RYLQJO\�ZULWWHQ�LQ�DOPRVW�SDLQIXOO\�JHQWOH�DQG�GHVFULSWLYH�SURVH��%XWOHU�HRUWOHVVO\�

reminds us that you can’t replace old

IULHQGV��DQG�ZK\�WKH�ORYH�ZH�KDYH�IRU�ERWK�places and people from our childhood is a

bond that’s impossible to break.

Jazz Baby is as illicit as it is powerful.

*URZLQJ�XS�IDU�WRR�TXLFNO\�LQ�HYHU\�ZD\�LPDJLQDEOH��%DE\�ȴQGV�KHUVHOI�DORQH�LQ�

WKH�VHHG\�XQGHUEHOO\�RI��V�0LVVLVVLSSL��with only her own yearning ambitions and

temptations for company. Abused and

degraded, not just by men and women

alike, but by the fabric of life itself, she is

drawn in by sex, lust, power and music.

The reader is just as helpless to resist the

PDQ\�LQȵXHQFHV�WKDW�LQWR[LFDWH�KHU�LQ�WKLV�darkly painted coming-of-age story. A book

WKDW�UHPLQGV�\RX�RI�WKH�ȴUVW�WLPH�\RX�IHOW�DOPRVW�HYHU\WKLQJ�WKHUH�LV�WR�IHHO��

JAZZ BABYBEEM WEEKS

NIGHT SCHOOLRICHARD WISEMANMACMILLAN

SELF

with aBUZZPUBLISHEDBOOK

Blipp to buy on Amazon

“His research has been featured on over 150 television programmes across the world.”

BLIPPto buy a

copy of Night

School

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

46 L I F E S T Y L E

or all those who spend

D� VLJQLȴFDQW� SRUWLRQ� RI�their working day looking

forward to a large glass

of wine, there’s a place

in London you need

to explore.

This Disney Land of wine enthusiasts is

hidden away in London Bridge’s atmospheric

arches, and it boasts the aptly epic

name, Vinopolis.

� )LOOHG� WR� WKH� EULP� ZLWK� FUHDWLYH� WZLVWV�on the usual wine tour experience, there’s

D� KRVW� RI� ȵH[LEOH� SDFNDJHV� DOORZLQJ� IRU�a cheeky afternoon jaunt or full-on day

RXW�� ZLWK� SULFHV� VWDUWLQJ� IURP� e�� D� YHU\�reasonable expenditure considering you’re in

fermented paradise.

The idea is that you get a series of tokens

�HLWKHU�VHYHQ��WZHOYH�RU�VL[WHHQ��DQG�XVH�WKHP�on the specially designed self-dispensing wine

machines, for a modern update of the classic

tasting procedure. That sounds a bit soulless,

F

WINEMPORIUM BECOME A WINE CONNOISSEUR IN A MATTER OF HOURS,

THANKS TO LONDON’S MOST INNOVATIVE AND INTERACTIVE TASTING VENUE…

Words: HANNAH SLAPPER

but each type of wine comes with a thorough

and genuinely fascinating description,

outlining the history, the palate breakdown

and the relationship with other wines around

the world.

� 7KHQ� WKHUHȇV� WKH� PDWWHU� RI� YDULHW\��WKH� VKHHU� VL]H� RI� WKH� SODFH� LV� VWDJJHULQJ� Ȃ� D�ODE\ULQWK�� ERDVWLQJ� D� SK\VLFDO�� LQWHUDFWLYH�encyclopaedia of wine. There are hundreds

of brands and grapes to choose from, so you

will really want to take your time and use your

tokens wisely.

Before you think the Vinopolis

experience consists of walking around necking

shots of Rioja, there are plenty of other aspects

to this emporium of wine history, and all of

WKHP�DUH� LQWHUDFWLYH�� )URP�TXL]]HV� WKDW�KHOS�you decipher your personal palate, to maps

WKDW�PDWFK�XS�\RXU�WDVWH�ZLWK�GLHUHQW�ZLQHV�IURP�DURXQG�WKH�ZRUOG�Ȃ�\RXȇUH�OHDUQLQJ�DERXW�your own preferences as well as the cultural

DQG�VFLHQWLȴF�KLVWRU\�EHKLQG�HDFK�ODEHO�� (YHQ� EHWWHU�� LI� \RX� JHW� SHFNLVK� GXULQJ�\RXU�WRXU�RI�WKH�JOREHȇV�ȴQHVW�ZLQHV��9LQRSROLV�KDV�ȴYH�EDUV�DQG�UHVWDXUDQWV�ZLWK�PHQXV�DOO�PDWFKHG� WR� \RXU� IDYRXULWH� YLQWDJH�� :KHWKHU�you like pairing your bottle with a freshly

cooked steak, an authentic Italian pizza or a

OLIH�DɝUPLQJ�FKHHVHERDUG��WKHUHȇV�VRPHWKLQJ�WR�VXLW�HYHU\�WDVWH�� Now, if you’re ruefully rolling your eyes

at the thought of bringing your oenophobic

SDUWQHU�RU�EHVW�IULHQG�ZLWK�\RX�Ȃ�GRQȇW�VWUHVV��9LQRSROLV� KDYH� DOUHDG\� SUH�HPSWHG� WKHVH�sorry souls who fail to see the intrigue in the

EHUU\�PDGH�ERWWOHG�EHYHUDJH��$�VSLULWV� URRP�includes a host of high-end labels, including

:KLWOH\� 1HLOO� JLQ�� (OHPHQW� �� DQG� %ORRGVKRW�YRGNDV�� DQG� /H� )«H� DEVLQWKH�� SOXV�� WKHUHȇV�

HYHQ� D� &DQDUG�'XFK¬QH� FKDPSDJQH� ORXQJH�for the extra-fancy patrons.

Whether you’re perusing a handful of

ZLQHV�ZKLOH�SODQQLQJ�DQ�H[WUDYDJDQW�ZHGGLQJ�� RU� LQGXOJLQJ� LQ� RQH� RI� WKHLU� e�� FKRFRODWH�DQG�ZLQH� SDLULQJ�PDVWHUFODVVHV� Ȃ� WKLV� LV� WKH�ultimate place to decode and delight in your

IDYRXULWH� GULQN�� 6R�� OHDYH� WKDW� PRQWK�ROG�bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge door and

ȴQG�\RXUVHOI�D�QHZ�WLSSOH��7KHUHȇV�QR�WLPH�IRU�wine like the present.

VINOPOLIS

Vinopolis

1R��%DQN�(QG��/RQGRQ��6(��%8�www.vinopolis.co.uk

3ULFHV�IURP�e��

BLIPP to find

out more

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Blippar

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F E A T U R E 47

Kate Temple

ow can anything

that may possibly

LQYROYH� GULQNLQJ�\RXU�RZQ�XULQH�HYHU�equate to fun? Well,

ΖȇOO�WHOO�\RX�ZKDW�Ȃ�WKH�modern day stag do.

My boyfriend,

who is a self-confessed ‘lad’, has just come

EDFN�IURP�3RUWXJDO�Ȃ�RQH�RI�WKH�EHWWHU�VWDJ�GR�destinations.

+H� FDOOHG�PH� DV� KH� ODQGHG�EDFN� LQ� WKH�country to pre-warn me he had a certain

RGRXU��+H�ZDV�ULJKW��I could practically smell the beer oozing

RXW�RI�KLV�SRUHV�DV�KH�ZDONHG�WRZDUGV�RXU�ȵDW�from the tube station. Dragging his heels, he

KDG� KLV� PDQ�EDJ� VOXQJ� RYHU� RQH� VKRXOGHU��mopping his brow with a tissue as he walked

WKURXJK�WKH�IURQW�GRRU��8QVKDYHQ��GLVKHYHOHG�and downright disgusting, he looked like he’d

been through the mill.

)HHOLQJ�YHU\�VRUU\�IRU�KLPVHOI��KH�WKUHZ�down his large bag and looked at me woefully.

%HLQJ� WKH� DQDOO\� UHWHQWLYH� ZRPDQ� Ζ� DP�� Ζ�told him he needed to organise his washing

DQG� VKRZHU� EHIRUH� KH� HYHQ� FRQWHPSODWHG�JLYLQJ� PH� D� KXJ�NLVV�WKH� JLIW� KH� KDG� FOHDUO\� forgotten to buy me.

:LWK� KLV� ELJ� EURZQ� H\HV� OLNH� VDXFHUV� Ȃ�and after dutifully putting his washing in the

PDFKLQH�Ȃ�KH�VDW�RQ�WKH�HGJH�RI�WKH�EHG�DV�Ζ�brushed my hair, and muttered the dreaded

ZRUGV�� Ȋ%DEHV�� Ζ� KDYH� VRPHWKLQJ� Ζ� QHHG� WR� WHOO�\RXȐȋ

Of course, my heart began to pound

and all the blood ran to my face, making it

EHHWURRW�OLNH�DQG�YHU\�XQDWWUDFWLYH��6ZLYHOLQJ�RQ�P\�KHHO��KDLUEUXVK�LQ�KDQG��Ζ�

stood in silence as he looked up at me, playing

ZLWK�WKH�VOHHYHV�RI�KLV�UXJE\�VKLUW�QHUYRXVO\��ȊΖ� XVHG� WKH� ODVW� VHQVLWLYH� VNLQ� ZDVKLQJ�

tablet,” he said.

I almost choked on my own teeth. My

mouth was so dry my lips were left curled up

against my cupid’s bow.

Trying to disguise my expression, and

VKRFNHG� WKDW� Ζ� KDG� HYHQ� FRQWHPSODWHG� KH�

Words: K A T E T E M P L E

hen dos? Back in the

good old days it was a

night out before your

ZHGGLQJ�� WR� WRDVW�VHH� R� WKH� EULGH� RU�groom on their new

SDWK�Ȃ�DND�ZHDULQJ�D�ULQJ�RQ�WKHLU�ȴQJHU��

Now it seems

the object of these

‘holidays’ is to get as

sh*t-faced as possible

and scream ‘LADS’ at

WKH�WRS�RI�\RXU�YRLFH��When did the

sanctity of marriage

become such a

terrifying concept,

that our men (and

women) feel the

need to go out and

get completely

o b l i t e r a t e d

prior to the

wedding, to ‘celebrate their last days

of freedom’.

Isn’t tying the knot meant to be

something you look forward to, not the end

of your life?

I’m not saying we should all go out

DQG�KDYH�DIWHUQRRQ� WHD�Ȃ�DQG� Ζ�DGPLW� ΖȇP�DOO�IRU� VFUHDPLQJ�� ȵHVK�EDULQJ� DQG� PDNLQJ� D�QXLVDQFH�RI�P\VHOI�RQ�D�QLJKW�RXW�Ȃ�EXW�PD\EH�we should think about toning down the

debauched trips abroad?

When is a stag do not a stag do? When

you’re not bladdered, naked or crying,

apparently.

ZRXOG� KDYH� GDUHG� WR� FKHDW� RQ�PH�� Ζ� VLPSO\�enquired as to where my present was.

“Well,” he said, “I was going to buy you

ȵRZHUV��EXW�WKH�ER\V�VDLG�LW�ZRXOG�ORRN�OLNH�ΖȇG�cheated on you.”

ΖW� ZDV� ODXJKDEOH� Ȃ� WKH�ZKROH� VLWXDWLRQ��Ζ� WKLQN� KH� ZDV� WRR� LQWR[LFDWHG� WR� KDYH�noticed any underlying feelings or tensions,

so he proceeded to change into clean

ER[HUV� DQG� JHW� LQWR� EHG� �LW� ZDV� �� RQ� D�0RQGD\�HYHQLQJ��

Anyway, creeping into bed myself an

KRXU� ODWHU� KH� ZRNH� DQG� DWWHPSWHG� WR� KDYH�D�FRQYHUVDWLRQ�� ΖW�ZDV�RQO\� WKHQ� Ζ�DVNHG�KLP�ZKDW� KH� KDG� GRQH� WKDW� ZHHNHQG�� ZKDW� ZDV�the best part of the trip?

+H�UHYHDOHG�WKH�VWDJ�ZHSW�LQWR�KLV�DUPV�on the second day of drinking, unable to take

DQ\PRUH�EHHU�RU�EDQWHU��+H�DOVR�WROG�PH�WKDW�KH�KDG�NLFNHG�WKH�YHU\�VDPH�PDQ�ZKR�FULHG�RQ�KLP�R�KLV�FKDLU�ODWHU�WKDW�HYHQLQJ��ȊLW�ZDV�just a bit of fun”.

It led me to think, when did it become

acceptable to go on such raucous stag and

GETS ANGRY

H

THE WORST

STAG DO TALES •��:HȇYH�DOO�KHDUG�DERXW�WKH�XQIRUWXQDWH�gentleman who was sick into a pint

JODVV�DQG� WKHQ�GRZQHG� WKH�YRPLW�� MXVW�EHFDXVH� KH�ZDV� GHGLFDWHG� WR� ȴQLVKLQJ�that beer.

• There’s an urban legend about a son

who drank a pint poured through his

father’s bum crack as a dare. A proud

moment for the family.

•� )LQDOO\��ZH�KDYH� WKH�JURRP�ZKR�ZDV�ȆNLGQDSSHGȇ�E\��RI�KLV�PDVNHG�IULHQGV�DQG�PDGH�WR�F\FOH��PLOHV�LQ�D�PDQNLQL��7KH�FKDȴQJ�GRHVQȇW�EHDU�WKLQNLQJ�DERXW�

NOW IT SEEMS THE OBJECT OF THESE ‘HOLIDAYS’ IS TO GET AS SH*T-FACED AS POSSIBLE AND SCREAM ‘LADS’ AT THE TOP OFYOUR VOICE

EACH MONTH WE FIND OUT WHAT’S MAKING KATE TEMPLE ANGRY.

B E A U T Y

48 B E A U T Y

08/7Ζ�%5Ζ*+7(1Ζ1*�6(580RADICAL SKINCARE £95hhjjjjjjj jj

While the price tag may look

large, considering it’s only

��PO��WKLV�VHUXP�LV�WUXO\�ZRUWK�HYHU\�SHQQ\�IRU�D�PRUH�HYHQ�FRPSOH[LRQ��DQG�UDGLDQW�VNLQ��ΖWȇV�GHVLJQHG�WR�ȴJKW�VHYHQ�LGHQWLȴHG�FDXVHV� RI�XQHYHQ�VNLQWRQH�DQG� dark spots.

GREASE RELIEF

&/($16Ζ1*�&/27+6�OLE HENRIKSEN £12hhjjjjjjj jj

With eucalyptus oil and

ERWDQLFDO�$+$V��WKHVH�cleansing wipes are

more than just a

PDNH�XS�UHPRYHU�Ȃ�they’re a bus, tube and

general life-grimness

UHPRYHU�ZLWK�DGGHG�H[IROLDWLRQ�ZZZ�ROHKHQULNVHQ�FRP

STREETWISE COCO SPRITZ

ORICO £27hhjjjjjjj jj

A tonic that not only

hydrates and cleanses but,

with all-natural

antioxidants like

Macadamia and Argan oil,

also helps to reduce

wrinkles and restore

PRLVWXUH�OHYHOV�

When’s a brush not a brush?

When it’s a Wet Brush.

THE WET BRUSH £5.99hhjjjjjjj jj

With super soft bristles, this

brush detangles hair with the

ease of Jodie Marsh pumping

iron in the gym. Compared

to its competitor, the Tangle

Teezer, the Wet Brush works

great on wet or dry hair and

KDV�D�KDQGOH�www.salon-services.com

352�&2//$*(1�+<'5$�*(/EYE MASKS

ELEMIS £46/6 MASKShhjjjjjjj jj

&OLQLFDOO\�SURYHQ�WRreduce the appearance of

ȴQH�OLQHV�DQG�ZULQNOHV��:LWKpro-collagen to brighten the

eye area, seal in moisture

DQG�UHGXFH�SXɝQHVV��www.elemis.com

BEAUT Y EDITOR’S PICK OF THE MONTH

ESSE NTIALS

BLIPP to buy

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

B E A U T Y

B E A U T Y 49

2K�VXPPHU��UHFNOHVV��IXQ�ȴOOHG�VXPPHU� The months ahead are going to be full of

IULHQGV��IXQ�DQG�SURVSHULW\�Ȃ�VR�ZK\�QRW�ȴOO�your bathroom cabinet with the same

WKLQJ�Ȃ�PD\EH�PLQXV�\RXU�PDWHV�Flutter these amazing DRAFTED-tested false

lashes and make your face softer than a

baby’s bottom with the next big serums.

Words: KATE TEMPLE

&+$5Ζ7<�327��LUSH £6.95hhjjjjjjj jj

Beauty with a conscience? This is the one

for you. A rich and generous lotion that

not only helps your skin look its best,

but also adds a glow to small charities.

ZZZ�OXVK�FR�XN

NAIL LACQUER,

DEBORAH LIPPMANN

£16hhjjjjjjj jj

If you’re looking for quality then

look no further than Lippmann’s

nail polish. Chip, typing and life

resistant.

ZZZ�KDUYH\QLFKROV�FRP

BODY TONING BEAUTY DOSE

FUNCTIONALAB £33hhjjjjjjj jj

$�XQLTXH�EOHQG�RI�DGYDQFHGQXWULHQWV�ZLWK�YLWDPLQ�&that contributes to a healthy

metabolism and collagen

synthesis.

www.boots.com

/22.6�62�1$785$/�/$6+(6KISS £8.99hhjjjjjjj jj

Kiss Light and Soft lashes not only look

natural, but feel natural. When used

with the included applicator, you’ll

be amazed at just how easy

applying lashes can really be.

www.boots.com

RESTORATION OIL

OSKIA £60hhjjjjjjj jj

Unlike traditional oils, Restoration

Oil is enriched with high-tech

DFWLYHV�ZKLFK�SURYLGH�DGGHG�EHQHȴWV�IRU�RLO\�DQG�FRPELQDWLRQ�VNLQ�types, whilst helping to target dryness

DQG�YLVLEOH�VLJQV�RI�DJHLQJ�www.beautybay.com

ESSE NTIALS

50 B E A U T Y

MALE GROOMINGMen, we ladies know you’re not all going to take

FDUH�RI� \RXUVHOYHV� DV� H[SHUWO\� DV�&RQFKLWD�:XUVW�Ȃ� EXW� OHWȇV� WDNH� D� OHDI� RXW� RI� KHU� EHDXWLIXO� ERRN��(YHU\RQH� OLNHV� WKH� URXJK�� UHDG\�� EHDUG\� ORRN� WR�some extent, but it’s probably time to tame that

mane, and throw some moisture at your face, so

you’re ready for the impending summer parties and

YLWDO�%%4V��<RX�UHDOO\�QHYHU�NQRZ�ZKR�\RX�PLJKW�PHHW� Ȃ� UHPHPEHU�� \RXȇUH� RQO\� HYHU� ȴYH� GHJUHHV�of separation away from Candice Swanepoel and

+HLGL�.OXP��

Words: K A T E T E M P L E

7KHUH�DUH�PDQ\�VNHSWLFV�ZKR�GRQȇW�EHOLHYH�WKH�Slendertone Abs belt works, but with a healthy

lifestyle, it really does increase abdominal toning,

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� +H�VDLG��ȊΖ�GLGQȇW�EHOLHYH�LW��DQG�LW�GRHVQȇW�work without training, but as an additional

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AS AN ADDITIONALEXTRA TO YOUR

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B E A U T Y 51

can’t exactly remember

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alongside it.

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ready for some serious pampering. There are

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MACDONALD RANDOLPH SPA OXFORD

TRIED& TESTEDW E G E T S O M E R & R AT A F I V E S TA R H O T E L S PA …

Words: J O S I E J O N E S

UNWIND IN THE RELAXATION ROOM.

TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYS GENTLY, LUXURY TRAVEL MAGAZINES LIT TER THE

SIDE TABLES TO FUEL THE ESC APISM VIBE

� 7KH� 0DFGRQDOG� 5DQGROSK� +RWHO� VSD�is an emporium of pampering packages

and hedonistic indulgence. Whether you’re

making the short trip from London for a day

of treatments, or just popping downstairs

from your luxury hotel room to spruce up for

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Macdonald Randolph Hotel, Oxford, Oxfordshire OX1 2LN Tel 01865 256 400 Inter +44 1865 256 400 http://www.macdonaldhotels.co.uk/spa-ȴWQHVV�VSD�WUHDWPHQWV�EUHDNV�Packages from £74 per person

After letting that serenity sink in,

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about potential tense areas and pressure

preferences, to ensure you get an experience

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atmosphere.

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their other treatments. Unsurprisingly, they

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bespoke tanning treatments.

I


Photography: Terrence Seah www.edfool.com, Model: Maddison @ www.milkmanagement.co.uk

Make up and words: Lauren Baker, Hair: Lauren Baker using www.johnmasters.co.uk

CREATE FRESH BEAUTIFUL LOOKS THIS SUMMER WITH POWERFUL ORGANIC BOTANICS AND SKIN-LOVING MINERALS

For a more intense, rocky eye-line,

EUXVK� WKH� ORZHU� OLG�PDUJLQ� KHDYLO\� ZLWK� VRIW�kohl, using Neal’s Yard Midnight Mineral

Eye Pencil. Smudge the pencil line out for a

GUDPDWLF�HHFW��$SSO\�D�PROWHQ�JROG�VKDGRZ�to the upper lid, such as bareMinerals READY

eye shadow in Connoisseur, using a damp

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Yard Lengthening Mascara.

For the deep berry lip, lightly apply

Couleur Caramel Pearly lipstick in

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with bareMineral’s READY blusher in

The Confession.


Garden-green beauty looks are a bold

choice. They enhance eye colour, and sit

beautifully on fresh skin. Apply bareMinerals

3UHVVHG� (\H� 6KDGRZ� LQ� ΖFRQ� RYHU� WKH� H\HOLG��then highlight the centre of the eyelid with

their Standing O Eyeshadow from The Grand

Finale pressed palette.

Follow the natural shape of your eye line

with Couleur Caramel eye pencil in green,

then blend Neal’s Yard Eye Shadow in Moss

RYHU�WKH�OLQH� To keep your skin feeling hydrated,

fresh and natural, apply Bare Skin Beauty

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Finish the look with a soft lip colour like

Neal’s Yard’s Damask Rose Lip Gloss.


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motions, tap Bare Skin Beauty Illuminating

Eye Serum from the inner corner of the lower

eye, out towards the temples.

� 2QFH� WKH� VNLQFDUH� LV� DEVRUEHG�� EX�1HDOȇV� <DUG� 0LQHUDO� )RXQGDWLRQ� RYHU� WKH�entire face. Set the mineral powders with a

spritz of facial mist like John Masters Organics

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the eyelids and extend your brows to their

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WKH� EURZV� DQG� IRFXV� RQ� DQ\� XQHYHQ� SDWFK\�areas.

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upper and lower lash lines with Organic Glam

Mineral Eye Pencil and coat the lashes in the

Organic Glam Mascara.

� &UHDWH�D�GUDPDWLF�OLS�E\�OLQLQJ�DQG�ȴOOLQJ�in the entire lip with Couleur Caramel Eye and

Lip Pencil in dark brown and then applying

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Let the eyes do the talking. Apply

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then smoke the corners of the eye with

bareMinerals Midnight Sky Liner Shadow,

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RIGHT: Bra, Knicker set Rigby and Peller BOTTOM: Bra, Knicker set %HX[�$YHQXH

Try dramatic and deep rose-red tones on

your lips. The darker inner colour comes from

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brow bone and the cupids bow.


DINE OUTL O N D O N ’ S B E S T. . .

Edited by H A N N A H S L A P P E R

Nestled down a cobbled backstreet, it’s easy to forget you’re moments from rowdy Soho as you soak up the warm, relaxed atmosphere pouring from the Mews of Mayfair. The exceptional brasserie boasts an almost overwhelmingly enticing and exciting menu, but the attentive staff, clearly passionate about certain dishes and wines, are helpful, not pushy, with their recommendations. Head chef Michael Lecouteur’s approach is that of details and surprises. His coronation chicken starter has already gathered a fervent fan base, and the crispy pork belly was served with a taste bud-delighting variety of imaginative apple accoutrements. Afterwards, there are plenty of other elements to explore: a lantern-lit terrace, fine wine and cigar shop, elegant private dining room, an art gallery and a downstairs lounge serving tasty cocktails and providing a packed out dance floor, should the mood take you.

Bond Street 10 Lancashire Court, New Bond Street ,W1S 1EY 0207 7518 9388 www.mewsofmayfair.com

1. MEWS OF MAYFAIR

If you’re one of the many Londoners who craves Lebanese food all too often, you’ll be delighted with the newest instalment of Mamounia. This Mayfair sister of the popular Knightsbridge location is as atmospheric as it is opulent – with a dark, golden décor and a dining experience to match. The fruity cocktails balance out the heavy spiced dishes – including sesame-clad halloumi, fluffy flatbread and juicy kebabs. We even discovered they have a specialist hummus maker – to ensure a truly authentic experience. The real treats come after dinner, when you can relax with baklava and traditional Moroccan mint tea, served in a beautiful set, and poured theatrically from a great height, and enjoy some of their well-chosen shisha varieties. Head down as the weekend begins, and you might just catch some belly-dancing with your banquet too…

Green Park 37 Curzon Street, W1J 7TX 0207 629 2211 www.mamounialounge.com

2. Mamounia

Although christened with a name that sounds like a standard fish’n’chips pub, Merchant’s Tavern could not be further from that stereotype. Located on a cheerful Shoreditch side street, the space is airy, light and instantly welcoming: a tavern-esque feel of homeliness with a hint of something a little more special. As a lunch location, it’s perfect for catching up with friends or cosying into a daytime date thanks to a scattering of semi-circular quilted green leather benches. The unpretentious atmosphere is balanced with an impressive menu – awash with fresh fish and locally sourced ingredients that, unsurprisingly, change frequently. The price-point might be high for a self-styled tavern, but the quality of the dishes speak for themselves. Take a risk and order something unexpected from the menu – we reckon you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Shoreditch High Street 36 Charlotte Road, EC2A 3PG 0207 7060 5335 www.merchantstavern.co.uk

3. Merchants Tavern

BLIPPto check

out the

menus

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Blippar

instructions…

L I F E S T Y L E 59

Styled as ‘6 venues of Twisted Gorgeous’, Piccadilly Institute has already established itself as the place to go for a guaranteed wild night. Even though we visited midweek, the rooms were packed out and buzzing, without that claustrophobic atmosphere of some of the pokier London clubs. Each section of the ‘Institute’ is intricately themed; from the skull-clad Alexander McQueen inspired room, to the starkly impressive hospital asylum. Drinks are twists on old classics, served in bizarre and Instagram-worthy vessels, including a giant top hat, medicine bottle, crystal skull and even an IV unit that you can wheel around the dance floor. As for what you’ll be dancing to – that depends on the room, but you can find a mix of house classics, top 40 hits and even some retro ‘70s tunes. Perfect for reckless revelry, carnal first dates and youthful extravagance

Piccadilly Circus

The London Pavillion, 1 Piccadilly, W1J 0DA 0207 287 8008 www.piccadillyinstitute.com

1. Piccadilly Institute

For so many Londoners, the ‘Juice People’ shop near Leicester Square is just another place to get a smoothie. However, lurking in the basement of this prime Soho spot is a seriously cool speakeasy. B.Y.O.C is exactly what you’d imagine: a bonafide ‘Bring Your Own Cocktails’ establishment. Book your two hour spot, bring a bottle of your favourite liquor and wait for one of their expert mixologists to wheel a trolley of fruit juices, bitters, syrups, spices and other cocktail accoutrements to your table. A bespoke drink will be created to your tastes, which you can enjoy time and again, or mix it up with unlimited new recipes and

combinations. Your £20 entrance fee covers all costs (bottle o’ booze aside) so you can sit back, relax, and breathe in the murky, mysterious and secretive prohibition era atmosphere.

Leicester Square Underneath Juice Club, 28 Bedfordbury, WC2N 4RB 0207 240 7810 www.byoc.co.uk/london

2. B.Y.O.CThis bar’s name is neatly apt, as its ethos strips back to the core of what ‘going out’ is really about: feast-worthy food, delicious drinks, a welcoming dance floor and plenty of places to sit and chat. That’s right, Core

is a New York loft in the heart of the city designed for enjoying simple pleasures, perfectly executed. The food menu is an amalgam of delights. A real highlight of the menu is definitely the burgers brought to you by the Queen’s own butcher; as tasty as they are towering. Whatever mood you’re in, or crowd you’re with, you’ll find a beverage that suits you. There’s an emphasis on social drinking, with four imaginative sharing cocktails to choose from, but also playful combinations, such as the Brew & Brew section, made with beer or coffee, or the Morning Glory with actual fruit loops included. If you’re taking out friends for an overdue catch up, this is definitely the place to book.

Bank Aldermary House, 10-15 Queen Street, EC4N 1TX 0207 618 9020 www.corebar.co.uk

3. core

barsO H I T ’ S A D R I N K Y O U ’ R E A F T E R ? T RY T H E S E O U T. . .


60 E N T E R T A I N M E N T

The multi-award winning musical has made its way to London’s Phoenix theatre with stellar reviews and new casting for the two main protagonists. A touching love story about an Irish busker and a passionate Czech musician who connect through a shared love of song writing, this is a performance that promises to be both romantic and spellbinding – a mix of thrilling live music and a blossoming relationship, unfurling before your eyes.

Leicester Square

Phoenix Theatre, 110 Charing Cross Road, WC2h 0JP 020 7492 0813 www.oncemusical.co.uk

3. ONCE

Ti r e d o f s i t t i n g i n f r o n t o f t h e T V ? T h e r e ’s p l e n t y o f e n t e r t a i n m e n t o n yo u r

d o o r s t e p , j u s t h e a d t o t h e t h e a t r e o r yo u r l o c a l c i n e m a a n d c h e c k o u t

t h e s e n e w r e l e a s e s …


Anyone who saw RIFT’s (formerly RETZ) production of The Trial last year knows they are the kings of immersive theatre. Now they’re back with an exciting version of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Set on the 27th floor of a high rise, the play lasts all night long, from 8pm to 8am. Watch the dramatic events unfold and enjoy various levels of comfort and ticket price, depending on whether you want to kip in a sleeping bag on the floor, crash on a camp bed with a free beer or lie on a sumptuous mattress, with free food and drink all night.

Secret London Location June 20th –August 16thSecret London Location www.macbeth.in

2. MACBETH

ON SCREEN AND ON STAGE

Beautiful, poetic and a work of genius: Richmond Theatre welcomes a limited guest run of Dylan Thomas’ much-loved masterpiece. Revisit all your favourite characters and enjoy their innermost thoughts, from Captain Cat’s melancholy musings to the mutual attraction of Mog Edwards and Miss Price. The peaceful town of Llareggub, filled with the charm of Welsh culture and the humour of the human condition, is brought to life by a sublime cast. Lose yourself in their dreams and desires, and you just might learn a little something about your own…

Richmond Richmond Theatre, The Green, Richmond, Surrey, TW9 1QJ0844 871 7651 www.undermilkwoodtour.com

1. UNDER MILK WOOD

For fans of Leon: The Professional and The Fifth Element, director Luc Besson is back with another enchanting and fantastical film. Scarlett Johansson stars as the eponymous character – a former drug mule turned unlikely superhero as an overdose of a dangerous new chemical substance allows her to use 10% more brain capacity. Like a grown-up action-packed version of Matilda, this story promises thrills and special effects with a quirky French twist.

2. LUCYReleased: July 25th

Prepare for an epic, because that’s exactly what Guardians of the Galaxy is going to be. Yet another reinterpretation of Marvel’s seemingly never-ending wealth of material, the huge ensemble cast includes Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Karen Gillan and many more. As for the story – a renegade American pilot finds himself in an uneasy cohort with a group of space misfits in a desperate rally to save the universe. We warned you it was epic.

3. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXYReleased: July 31st It’s hard to imagine Keira Knightley

and Mark Ruffalo in a musical romantic comedy, but that’s exactly who John Carney, writer of current London theatre hit Once, has cast in his newest on-screen venture. It’s an industry story about a talented songwriter (Knightley) whose fame-seeking ex-boyfriend (Adam Levine) has left her reeling in all the creative productivity of heartbreak. Queue Ruffalo, a disgraced record executive, stumbling across her brilliance and you have a feel-good journey to true love and stardom…

1. BEGIN AGAINReleased: July 11th

Once Under Milk Wood

BLIPPto buy

theatre

tickets

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L I F E S T Y L E 61

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

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HANDCRAFTED EXCELLENCE FORGED FROM FIRE AND ICE…

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deep into the night with a menu to delight,

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light hearted indulgences of the adult world in

A NEW HOME FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO SUCCEED THE MADNESS OF THE OFFICE WITH A NEW BRAND OF EUPHORIA


staycationW E T R AV E L T O OX F O R D T O C H E C K O U T O N E O F T H E A R E A’ S F I N E S T H O T E L S …

Words by: J O S I E J O N E S

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this hotel was perfect for couples, too. We checked

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� :H�DUULYHG�MXVW�LQ�WLPH�IRU�GLQQHU��ZKLFK�ZH�took at the hotel’s highly recommended restaurant.

OXFORD IS ONE OF THOSE WONDERFUL ENGLISH CITIES WHERE YOU C AN CHOOSE TO DO EVERYTHING OR NOTHING

0DFGRQDOG�5DQGROSK�+RWHO��Oxford, Oxfordshire OX1 2LN 7HO�� 01865 256 400 :HEVLWH�� www.macdonaldhotels.co.uk/our-hotels/macdonald-randolph-hotel/

There was a sommelier ready to impart some wine

wisdom, but as we planned to check out the Morse

bar later, we resisted the temptation. Opting for the

VPRNHG�VDOPRQ��ZH�ZHUH�LPSUHVVHG�E\�WKH�FDUYLQJ�FHUHPRQ\��ZKHUH� WKLQ�VOLWKHUV�RI�VPRNHG�ȵHVK�DUH�H[SHUWO\� VOLFHG�� IUHVK� R� WKH� ȴVK�� DW� \RXU� WDEOH��The end result was delicious, a unique twist on a

classic appetiser. The menu is seasonal, with hearty

portions. Our main dish, the risotto, was extremely

ȴOOLQJ��DOWKRXJK�ZH�QDWXUDOO\� OHIW� URRP�IRU�GHVVHUW��Although restaurants usually fall down during this

last course, we were pleasantly surprised. The

ȵDYRXUV� ZHUH� EDODQFHG� EHDXWLIXOO\� DQG�� LI� \RX� JHW�the chance, we suggest you indulge in the incredibly

moreish salted caramel ice cream.

Oxford is one of those wonderful English

FLWLHV� ZKHUH� \RX� FDQ� FKRRVH� WR� GR� HYHU\WKLQJ� RU�nothing. Or, perhaps, striking that perfect holiday

balance between the two. Post-dinner we decided

WR�PDNH� WKH�PRVW� RI� RXU� HYHQLQJ� DQG� WRRN� D� VWUROO�around the town centre, which was easy as the main

high street is mere footsteps away from the hotel’s

front door.

Our action-packed Monday began with a

GHOLJKWIXO� EUHDNIDVW�� VHUYHG� LQ� WKH� UHVWDXUDQW� ZLWK�ERWK� D� FROG� EXHW� DQG� D� YDULHG� PHQX� RI� IUHVKO\�cooked hot food. We then embarked on a day of

rigorous exploring, complete with walking tours,

spa experiences, and a lot of shopping at Oxford’s

beautiful and well-equipped selection of boutiques.

After spending the morning taking in all

the sights and sounds of our quaint and historical

BLIPPto book a

weekend

awaySee page 5 for

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instructions…

THE RANDOLPH IS A DELIGHTFULLY PEACEFUL YET CENTRALLY LOC ATED HOTEL

WALKING TOUR�Ȃ�7KH�EHVW�ZD\�WR�WDNH�LQ�DQ\�QHZ�FLW\�LV�WR�KDYH�D�ZDQGHU�DURXQG��2[IRUG�RHUV�D�selection of guided walking tours,

ZKLFK�JLYH�\RX�DFFHVV�WR�FROOHJHV��as well as some great history and

insider information.

SHOPPING�Ȃ�+RPH�WR�VRPH�IDQWDVWLF�high-street stores, designer

boutiques and colourful markets,

2[IRUG�LV�DOVR�D�VKRUW�GULYH�WR�Bicester Village, where you can

get high-end labels at discounted

prices.

PRISON BREAK�Ȃ�7KLV�DUHD�LV�home to one of the UK’s oldest

prisons, which naturally boasts a

fascinating history. Visit ‘Unlock

Oxford’ for a fun day trip or

VSRRN\�QLJKW�YLVLW��FRPSOHWH�ZLWK�knowledgeable and charismatic

guides.

THEATRE�Ȃ�:DWFKLQJ�D�SOD\�LV�WKH�SHUIHFW�ZD\�WR�VSHQG�DQ�HYHQLQJ��and here the playhouse gets

VRPH�UHDO�DFWLQJ�KHDY\ZHLJKWV��You can book tickets on the day,

so pop in to see what’s on once

\RX�DUULYH��

A c t i v i t i e s

surroundings, there was nothing better

than to unwind in the hotel lounge’s serene

ambiance, with a traditional afternoon tea

full of the usual tiny sandwiches, scones and

delicate cakes.

� )RU� HYHQLQJ� HQWHUWDLQPHQW�� WKH�Randolph is a three-minute saunter from

the theatre, which, unlike many of London’s

RHULQJV�� \RX�FDQ�ERRN�RQ� WKH�GD\��DOORZLQJ�\RX� WR� EH� ERWK� ȵH[LEOH� DQG� VSRQWDQHRXV��$V� WKH� VKRZV� RIWHQ� ȴQLVK� ODWH�� WKH� KRWHO�DOVR� RHUV� SUH�DUUDQJHG� URRP� VHUYLFH� Ȃ� WR�ensure you don’t miss out on their tasty

dinner menu.

We recommend you head to the

Morse bar for a few drinks before the show.

1RW�RQO\�DUH�WKH�FRFNWDLOV�GHOLFLRXV��WKH�VHUYLFH�is also refreshingly swift, allowing you to

squeeze in a good selection.

The Randolph is a delightfully

SHDFHIXO� \HW� FHQWUDOO\� ORFDWHG� KRWHO�� RHULQJ�\RX� WHPSWLQJ� IRRG�� FRORXUIXO� DQG� FUHDWLYH�cocktails and a tranquil ambience away

from the hustle and bustle of London life.

Whether you’re treating your partner to a

romantic break or just indulging in a get-away

with the girls, we guarantee you won’t be

disappointed with the Macdonald Randolph

+RWHOȇV�GHGLFDWLRQ� WR�NHHSLQJ�\RX�FKLOOHG�RXW�and cheerful.


ST LUCIADRAFTED’S PICTURE EDITOR, JAY MCLAUGHLIN, ESCAPES TO ST LUCIA. . .

1. Somebody wanted to make friends on the dolphin and whale watching boat tour

2. The rough pathway was the only man-made sight for miles in the expansive atmospheric rainforest

3. Palm trees and lush landscapes are common vistas in the lush forestry

4. Praslin Island provides stunning views of the idyllic scenery

5. Tropical trees provide much-needed shade on the hot and humid beaches

he Caribbean. It’s a holiday

GHVWLQDWLRQ� KHDYLO\� DVVRFLDWHG�with unspoiled stretches of white

VDQG�DQG�FU\VWDO� VHDV��DOO�LQFOXVLYH�resorts and cruise ships.

+RZHYHU�� WKLV� FOXVWHU� RI�LVODQGV� RHUV� PRUH� WKDQ� \RX� ZRXOG� WKLQN��1RW�HYHU\RQH�ZDQWV�WR�VSHQG�D�IRUWQLJKW�O\LQJ�horizontally on a sun lounger and regularly re-

DSSO\LQJ�WKH�IDFWRU��So, alongside the more relaxing

DSSURDFK�� PDQ\� LVODQGV� DUH� QRZ� RHULQJ�packages to explore all the amazing excursions

WKLV�SDUW�RI�WKH�ZRUOG�KDV�WR�RHU�We sent our DRAFTED picture editor to

check out the tropical paradise of St Lucia,

exploring the lush rainforest of the Gros Islet

region, the famous twin peaked Pitons and

Praslin Island.

From jungle tours to dolphin watching,

ZLOGOLIH�VSRWWLQJ�WR�LVODQG�KRSSLQJ�Ȃ�LW�VHHPV�WKH�OLVW�RI�DFWLYLWLHV�RQ�WKLV�(DVWHUQ�&DULEEHDQ�gem is as endless as their sandy beaches

and ability to soothe away the stresses of

modern life.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand

words, and this trip is a prime example. We’ll

OHW�WKH�SKRWRJUDSKV�GR�WKH�WDONLQJȐ�

www.stlucia.org

1

5 4

3

2

BLIPPto find

out more

about

St Lucia

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

f

I HELD UP THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE AT THE SAVOY. I HAD A FULL WEEKEND PART Y

the last laughAWARD-WINNING SKETCH SHOW, CARDINAL BURNS, IS HITTING THE ROAD FOR

A RAMBUNCTIOUS TOUR LATER THIS YEAR. DRAFTED CATCH UP WITH CO-WRITERS AND STARS, SEB CARDINAL AND DUSTIN DEMRI-BURNS…

Words: HANNAH SLAPPER

You can tell from the content that the

ZULWLQJ�SURFHVV�LV�DQ�RUJDQLF�RQH�Ȃ�ERUQH�IURP�VKDUHG� FRQYHUVDWLRQV� DQG� OLIH� H[SHULHQFHV��Ȋ:H� XVXDOO\� LPSURYLVH�ȋ� 6HE� WHOOV� XV�� Ȋ$� ORW�RI� WKH� VWX� FRPHV� IURP� MXVW� VLWWLQJ� DURXQG�together, it sort of forms out of nothing.”

� $IWHU�PHHWLQJ�DW�ȴOP�VFKRRO�LQ�(GLQEXUJK�LQ��DQG�ZRUNLQJ�RQ�FRPLF�PDWHULDO�DV�D�GXR� HYHU� VLQFH�� LWȇV� QRW� VXUSULVLQJ� WKH\� IHHG�R�HDFK�RWKHU��Ȋ7KHUHȇV�D�QHHG�WR�PDNH�HDFK�other laugh,” admits Dustin. “It’s a good litmus

WHVW�� (YHQ� LI� QR�RQH� HOVH� RQ� VHW� LV� HQMR\LQJ�it, the one reaction I’m going to trust is Seb

ODXJKLQJ�DW�ZKDW� ΖȇP�GRLQJ�Ȃ� WKHQ� Ζ� IHHO�ȴQH��That’s where it all comes from, actually. We’re

VRUW� RI� HQWHUWDLQLQJ� RXUVHOYHV�� :HȇUH� ȴQGLQJ�VWX�IXQQ\�WRJHWKHU�ȋ Winning a BAFTA for Best Sketch Show

LQ� �� DIWHU� UHFHLYLQJ� WKUHH� QRPLQDWLRQV� Ȃ�WKH�PRVW� IRU�DQ\�ȴUVW� WLPH�FRPHG\� ��ZDV�DQ�HOHFWULI\LQJ�ZD\�WR�YDOLGDWH�WKHLU�VXFFHVV��6HEȇV�UHDFWLRQ� VKRZV� WKHLU� KXPEOH� VLGH�� ȊΖ� VDZ� LW�RQOLQH�DQG�GLGQȇW�EHOLHYH�LW��Ζ�GLGQȇW�HYHQ�NQRZ�the nominations had been announced. I saw

RXU�QDPHV�DQG�Ζ�WKRXJKW�Ȃ�ZK\"�:K\�DUH�ZH�there?” Dustin’s reaction is a little more rock

DQG�UROO��ȊΖ�KHOG�XS�WKH�SUHVLGHQWLDO�VXLWH�DW�7KH�

6DYR\��Ζ�KDG�D�IXOO�ZHHNHQG�SDUW\�ȋ For fans of the show, the exciting news

is an upcoming tour which promises to be

HYHQ�PRUH� UDXFRXV� WKDQ� WKH� VKRZ� LWVHOI�� $V�H[SHULHQFHG� OLYH� FRPHGLDQV� RQ� WKH� JLJJLQJ�FLUFXLW�� WKH\ȇYH� DPDVVHG� D� FRQȴGHQFH� WKDW�DOORZV� WKHP� WR� HQMR\� WKH� DGYHQWXUH�ZLWKRXW�WRR� PDQ\� QHUYHV�� ȊΖWȇV� QLFH� KDYLQJ� WKDW�immediate audience, that reaction,” Dustin

muses, “making a room full of people laugh,

being loose and free, climbing into them and

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So after a rowdy tour and successful

second series, how do the duo picture the

future? “Oh, you mean the glory years?” Dustin

laughs. “I was wondering when you were going

WR�JHW� WR� WKDW��$W� WKH�PRPHQW� LWȇV�YHU\�PXFK�Cardinal Burns�� :HȇYH� JRW� DQ� LGHD� WKDW� ZHȇUH�GHYHORSLQJ��D� VRUW�RI� VLWFRP�DQG�D�FRXSOH�RI�ȴOP� LGHDV�� $� WKLUG� VHULHV� LI� ZHȇUH� OXFN\�� $QG�we’re setting up a B&B in Whitstable.”

� 6HE�FXWV�LQ��ȊΖWȇV�QRW�MXVW�D�%%��:H�DOVR�do tours.”

Catch Cardinal Burns on tour across the UK

IURP�6HSW�1RY��www.cardinalburns.com

LYH�\HDUV�DJR��PDQ\�SHRSOH�thought sketch shows had

gone as far as they could

in the world of comedy.

The culmination of The Fast Show, Little Britain and Smack

The Pony� KDG� OHIW� WKH� 8.� ZLWK� YHU\� OLWWOH� WR�JLYH�Ȃ�DQG�WKH�IRFXV��VORZO\�EXW�VXUHO\��PRYHG�towards sitcoms.

� 7KHQ�� LQ�0D\��Cardinal Burns aired

RQ� (�� DQG� ZH� ZHUH� \HW� DJDLQ� JUDFHG� ZLWK�a truly original and deeply hilarious sketch

FRQFHSW�� IXOO� RI� FKDUDFWHUV� WKDW� ZHUH� LQ�equal parts thoroughly reprehensible and

H[WUHPHO\�ORYHDEOH�� 7KH� WZR� PHQ� EHKLQG� WKH� VKRZ� Ȃ� 6HE�&DUGLQDO� DQG� 'XVWLQ� 'HPUL�%XUQV� Ȃ� UHFHLYHG�critical acclaim and a loyal cult following,

ZKLFK� KDV� EHHQ� FRQVLVWHQWO\� UHYLVLWLQJ� WKH�VHULHV�RQ��R'�RYHU�WKH� ODVW�WZR�\HDUV�� ΖWȇV�QR�ZRQGHU�WKDW�&KDQQHO��XQDEOH�WR� LJQRUH�WKH�public’s adulation, commissioned the second

series, which aired in May this year.

So, after all that time, how do they feel

about the new season? “It’s bigger,” smiles

Seb. “And bolder,” adds Dustin.

Although pronounced with all the pomp

DQG� FLUFXPVWDQFH� RI� DQ� DFWLRQ�PRYLH� WUDLOHU��WKH� GHVFULSWLRQ� KLWV� KRPH�� (YHQ� WKH� ȴUVW�HSLVRGH� UHYHDOV� KHLJKWHQHG� GUDPDV� IRU� WKH�existing characters, and some larger-than-life

new ones, too.

“We had a certain body of characters

that we started with,” Dustin explains, “but

ZH�ZDQWHG� WR�GHYHORS� WKHP�PRUH�DQG�EULQJ�WKHP� EDFN�� QRW� RQO\� IRU� RXUVHOYHV�� EXW� DOVR�anticipating that people wanted to see them

again. It’s sort of a mixed blessing. You

ȴQG� \RXUVHOI� ZRQGHULQJ� LI� \RX� VKRXOG� EH�wiping the slate clean and starting again. It’s

a weird balance.”

BLIPPto check

out our

favourite

sketch

See page 5 for

Blippar

instructions…

DRAFTED - Issue 10

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