Devotion & Social Life

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Devotion and Social life

A Salesian Guidance

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A world waiting to be born

• Scott Peck claims: • Some thing is seriously Wrong

with our modern world

“ Phenomenon of INCIVILITY” • =Being hurtful to each other.

Because- Infectious materialism Callous disregard for the other

True Civility

(THE AWARENESS AND INTENTION TO BE GENUINELY

GOOD TO Others) is LACKING

in our relationships and in our society.

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SFS’ Vision of A true Civil World

• Envisioned a world born through the love of God.

• God has loved us enormously and gifted us

human life.

• He made this world beautiful and good for us.

• Enabled and ennobled by this love we are

capable of being more than what we imagine

to be.

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SFS’ Vision of A true Civil World • WE ARE CAPABLE OF LIVING A TRUE

LIFE OF DEVOTION IN THIS WORLD

And

• GIVE BIRTH TO A NEW WORLD,

a world of Civility. • SFS’ model of Civility(: Love of God,

Positive regard & gentleness towards the other) can help us in this task.

• It is A PRACTICAL HOLINESS.

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Francis De Sales championed two revolutionary Ideas on Holiness:

1. Devotion/holiness is accessible to all and all can become Saints

2. Holiness is not an aspect of life or another activity but life itself.

Salesian Spirituality is relational.

It is deeply convinced that the progress in devotion is

realized in and through relationships. They are the seed

beds for the cultivation of it. It is lived in and through the

particularities of the life according to each one’s state of

life.

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Francis De Sales championed two revolutionary Ideas on Holiness:

SFS’ guidance is termed as “Inspired Commonsense”.

He speaks not about lofty things but about daily life and its concerns. Because he believes that the ordinary things have power to sanctify life.

His teachings are directives for daily life. They are down to earth practical matters.

Social areas of Holiness 1. Daily Life

Holiness is everyday holiness. It is ordinary holiness.

• Every day holiness because it happens

in our daily life.

• It happens in our Homes, Church,

office, street, market, and theatre.

• It happens in the daily management

of the life concerns.

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Social areas of Holiness 1. Daily Life

• Ordinary because it does not require heroic

feats of Sanctity but cultivation of little

virtues like gentleness, integrity, humility and regard for the other in the actions of our daily life.

• It is doing our ordinary, routine works

extraordinarily well by doing them

intentionally for the love of God and the

good of the neighbor.

• It is nothing but a prayerful approach to life.

A daily holiness approach to life.

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How can we make our life holy?

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From the Spiritual Directory of SFS.

“Beginning with the point of getting up from the bed in the morning, spanning the common tasks one faces throughout the day (eating, working, relaxing) and

concluding with the manner in which one goes to sleep at night.

In detail he wrote:

Upon rising, we can recall the Resurrection and greet God with gratitude for having another day at our disposal. We can then prayerfully prepare for the day by considering what lies ahead and

resolving to practice virtue and avoid vice in the situations that present themselves.

How can we make our life holy?

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From the Spiritual Directory of SFS.

… We can take our meals in a spirit of

thanksgiving for God’s bounty, approach our work as sharing in the Creator’s activity, and take our leisure as a God’s welcome gift of

peace. At the end of the day we can examine our conscience to acknowledge humbly both how we have grown and

where we have failed, gently committing both into God’s merciful care. And when we retire at night, we

can prayerfully envision that one day we will rest eternally with God.”

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The KEY to this exercise is the “Direction of the

Intension”: Doing everything,

big and small, in God’s name

and to please Him alone.

Devotion is love of God . This flows from the hearts to the exterior conduct and life. Life is relationships. In

our dealings with each other we find God. These relationships are ways to live Jesus. The way we deal and with whom we deal are important concerns. In our dealings with others, little virtues like patience, good-naturedness, humility mortifications of the heart,, tenderness towards neighbor, bearing their imperfections… to be practiced. IDL III:2, p.143-144.

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Practice these virtues

not only with

the strangers outside the home but also with

the people in the home .

Often we try to be ANGELS outside and

forget to be HUMAN at home.

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Devotion& Social areas

2. Company of others Avoiding & Seeking Company of others – Extremes. Not good. Giving company is an expression of love. When in Company give yourself joyfully, make your presence a joyful one. “If your presence is demanded by the occasion , participate in that in name of God. Meet your neighbor with a joyful heart and look at him/her lovingly.” IDL III:24,p. 212

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Bad Company:

When purpose of company is evil. And when people are vicious, indiscrete and dissolute. We have to turn away from them like bees that turn away resolutely from the swarm of horse-flies and hornets.

They are like the people bitten by mad dog. Their sweat, breath, saliva are dangerous, especially to the children and

those of delicate constitution. Beginners of devotion will risk their

devotion with the bad company.

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First keep company with yourself. “To show that we love ourselves we ought to abide in ourselves when we are alone.”

When in great transactions of life, turn your mind to mental solitude.

Love the solitude of the place. Remain in your room, in your garden, or elsewhere for a short while

to make at your will good reflections and holy thoughts or by a short reading, to refresh your mind.

• Simple social gatherings are welcome. Good for recreation & relaxation

• A change from the regular jobs. But should not get addicted to them.

• Qualities to have:

• Our presence must of moderate Joy

• Simplicity, artlessness, gentleness and modesty must be preferred.

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Devotion & Social Life

3.Social Gatherings

• The topic of the gathering must be virtuous. They should not be used to fall, sully another, to excite a third party, to harass someone, No foolish, filthy, insolent jokes and amusements. • Types of:

• Evil -gathering with evil intension • Recreational: just for relaxation • Obligatory: Modestly join as a duty • Virtuous: frequent them for they are useful

• Gatherings of devout and virtuous persons useful.

• Like Vine planted among the olive trees, produces oily grapes that have olive taste, we acquire their qualities.

• Honey is made by the Bees with the help of Drones.

• Devout peoples company helps us to progress in Devotion.

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“If you are called out into the society for some just reason, go as one sent by God.”

Propriety in Dress

• I • Propriety depends on decency, cleanliness, style, neatness.

• simplicity and modesty: are the greatest ornament.

• The devout must dress in the best way but least pompous and affected.

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I would have the devout adorned with grace, decency, and dignity.

Devotion & Social life

4.Recreation: Past times, Games, Balls

• SFS praises recreation as it affords relaxation and refreshment to the body and mind.

• Eliminate stress.

• Not to allow recreation for ourselves and others is to be rude, unsociable, uncharitable.

• It stifles the soul.

• SFS Recommends:

• To go out in the fresh air, to go for a walk,

• to take part in the cheerful, friendly conversation,

• to play some musical instrument,

• singing, etc.

• They can refresh and revive us.

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SFS gives three counsels to guide

our recreational Activities

1. Use Commonsense: it gives proper order, time, place and intensity to all things.

2. Games which reward skill are fine, play in moderation with regarding time and concentration.

3. Do not make it a priority, above everything else.

“ Above all, take care that you do not attach

yourself with fondness to all these games. It is

wrong to put one’s heart and affection into them

and desire them and be taken up by them , be eager

for them.” IDL III: 31. p. 233.

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Objectionable Games:

Games in which WINNING based on LUCK, like Dice, Cards, Casino. Because it relies on CHANCE. It is

an offence to reason. It is not a true recreation. Brings sadness & tension to

the loser in stead of happiness and relaxation.

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Recreations that legal but dangerous Parties, Balls and Dances are morally indifferent but can lean towards evil.

In Balls situation is highly favorable to evil. Keeping wake they change nights into day and days into nights up setting the following day’s work and life. There is plenty of Vanity. Each compete to excell in vanity. They are dangerous. Like Mushrooms being porous they absorb easily the poison of snakes; similarly the participants poison their hearts and souls. They scatter their spirit of devotion, weaken spiritual energies and make charity grow cold. Awaken to thousand kinds of evil attachments.

They are to be used with prudence.

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Guidance: Use common sense and discretion in participation,

if need to be attended, conduct yourself properly (in dance, drink, etc., be moderate, dignified, and keep a good intention). Afterwards, consider good and holy things in order to avoid temptation.

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Devotion & Social Life

5. Speech/Conversation A. Talking of God: Doctors look at tongue. Words are signs of our

soul’s quality. Like the hand moves over to the place where pain is, the conversation moves around what we love most.

When we are in love with God, we speak of God often with all. Bees delight in drawing honey, we delight in speaking of God.

St. Francis of Assisi licked his lips often pronouncing the name of God.

Speak of God reverently, always with attention and devotion. Never in thoughtless manner.

B. Speech to others: No unbecoming words from the mouth even said without any

malice. It can scandalize the feeble & the weak. It spreads like a drop

of oil on a piece of cloth… it is like poison entering thru ear…spoils heart.

Those who have angelic virtues speak pure, polite and suitable words.

Indecent words corrupt the good manners. Cf. 1 Cor 15: 33. In Conversations – be like the bees interested in making honey

than being like a swarm of wasps feeding on rotten. Mild protests to indecent words…turn away the face and ears Scoffing& Ridicule contrary to charity. Devotion. Pleasant conversations with modest gaity, joyfulness. They are not to be turned to mockery. Should not spoil our

devotion. Avoid Rash Judgments and Slandering.

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B. Speech to others: Rash Judgments

Rash, because

we usurp the role of the Lord.

• We will never know the intension and consent of the heart. They are hidden.

• Primarily we are to judge ourselves. But we do opposite way.

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B. Speech to others: Rash Judgments

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Reasons: Because of harshness/bitterness of heart… it is not sin…just an imperfection. Pride. They think lowering others… they rise their

honor. Like Pharisee. Lk 18: 11. Self satisfaction: think of others faults… intension is to

make others know they are have virtue… To lighten their guilt feelings…

For the sole pleasure of philosophizing morals to

exercise their intelligence.

Emotions, likes and dislikes, speak well of what they like…speak evil disliked… Jealousy, fear, ambition, …

Remedies: Be charitable, “drink charity as much as you can” a spiritual jaundice. Our medicine must be on affections… they must be gentle Gen 26: 7-9. Isaac playing with Rebecca. “An action will have 1000 faces, look at the most beautiful one”. IDL p. 223. Judge always in favor of the neighbor. Joseph did not judge Mary. From a single action judging others is rash. Devout people do not judge others. They withdraw into themselves to prepare good resolutions for their own improvement. We can never judge our neighbor. We are not to judge.

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Defaming, Backbiting, Calumniating, attributing false

By exposing what is in secret, by exaggerating, badly interpreting good works, denying good of the others

SFS: Slandering is “the PLAGUE OF Conversation”

Ruins the good name of the neighbor. = SIN.

=Murder of the social life (=reputation) of the person.

Slanderer commits 3 murders: of his own soul, of the

listener and of the victim. Killing his own & of listener, a spiritual murder and of the Victim, a Social murder.

Both have devil in them. One on the tongue,

other in ear.

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Guidance on Speech/Conversation : Slander

Slander: • Craftiness at Calumniating… like…drawing the arrow close to shoot it with greater force. Some praise and hurt.

• Defamation thru Jokes most cruel of all. Slandering is like hemlock, mild poison, but mixed with wine becomes stronger. Slander mixed with jokes becomes stronger.

• It is viper’s poison on the lips. Ps 12: 3-4, 140:3

• kills slowly, surely.

• Single acts do not justify labelling

• There should be some progress

in it. Should become a habit.

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Slander:

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• “There is no certainty that yesterdays sinner cannot be today’s saint. Yesterday must judge today and today tomorrow. It is only the last day that judges all."

• Counsel: Regularly examine our attitude towards neighbor. Be reasonable. Be impartial and just. “Put yourself always in the place of your neighbor and your neighbor in your own place. You will judge him well.”

Devotion & Social Life:

6. Relationships • We are related beings. “ To be is to be related.”

• Practical fields of devotion: Heart & world.

• Living Jesus in relating

• We are related in three dimensions: with God, ourselves & Others.

• Relationship with God: “Man has natural tendency to love God.” we belong to him entirely and totally, forever, without end, with out any reservation.”

• He shared his existence with us. We came into being. We seek him to be happy.

• Prayer is the way we relate to him. In it, we open our understanding to his light, our wills to his love.

• We go upto him to enerze ourselves and we descend to serve others.

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SFS SPIRITUALITY 2

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Relationship with Yourself: We are image of God/higher self, yet we have imperfections/lower self. There is struggle in us to improve/realize our image of God.

We are made up of body, passions, reason, will and soul. We need to learn to respect the longings of the soul. Be sensitive to the inner life and its dynamics. Spend time with ourselves. Respect the longings of the soul, the tendencies of the spirit, the tiredness of the body. We need physical and spiritual solitude. We are to deal with ourselves, gently and patiently. Never get frustrated with ourselves. Attend to the leisure needs of the body, mind, soul. “Hate sin but do not hate yourself.” Holiness is INTEGRATION. It happens when we collect our scattered selves in contemplation and silence.

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C. Relationship with others Salesian Principles for governing

our relationships

Our Relationships be God – centered. Must enhance the practice of devotion. Be not a

hindrance to it. Be based on the positive regard for the other,

recognizing the dignity and respect Be polite in conversation. Civility is the virtue to be

practiced. Use reason, be beyond the likes and dislikes, be

impartial. See the value of others Moderation, avoid extremes. Neither long, nor avoid

others company

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C. Relationship with others Salesian Principles for governing

our relationships

Win-Win approach: Get into the shoes of the other. Be neither touchy, nor sensitive to protect your good

reputation. Let Charity prevail. Good of the other must be the

intension in relating. Avoid at any cost rash judgments, slanders, they are

sins. Spoil the honey of devotion. Gentleness at all times. “ Let us walk with our

brothers & companions gently. Peacefully and kindly. Bear with patiently the imperfections, vices in

others, especially the family members. No pretense, no show offs. sincerity must flow.

Special relationships: 1.Friendships

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• Friendship is highly risky, as it is based on intercommunication between the persons.

• It involves the sharing of qualities of the persons. • A good friendship requires: mutual love, mutually

known, fostered by communications. • Based on the things communicated the types of

friendship are: Based on exchange of carnal pleasures, pleasures of senses, not worthy to be called friendships.

• Based on frivolous things-likes skills, vain qualities, it is frivolous friendship. It folly. Friendships based on issues of fashions, idle talks, these friendships are transient, would soon melt like snow in the sun.

Fickle love/flirtations:

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Playful friendships between persons of two sexes with no intension of marriage. It is not a friendship it is a vanity, an imperfection. Danger: It is an empty, foolish affection. They open the way to sin. Why people engage: Some to satisfy their hearts with loving and being loved, some others, out of vanity, others get involved by inclination The fact is they steal away love and consequently the heart from God, from their wife and from the husband to whom it belonged.

The tragedy: God has reserved for himself the whole love of our souls in acknowledgement of our creation, preservation, an redemption and he will demand a most strict account of all the mad deduction we make from it.”

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True friendship: Love everyone based on charity, but form friendships only with those who can share with virtuous things with you. The higher the virtues shared the better is the friendship. If your mutual exchanges concern charity and devotion, that friendship is precious; “ it comes from God…leads to God…and its bond will endure eternally in God.” cultivate friendships that duties oblige you with parents, relatives, neighbors, and others. Friendships based on the practice of virtue are welcome; they are holy friendships, they can encourage, assist, and lead one another to perform good deeds.

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Counsels: Sometimes friendships are not at their best. They may not draw us closer t God or the things of the Lord. “ There is hardly anyone who is entirely free from imperfection. But we need not receive indiscriminately the stains and imperfections of our friends. We love him not his imperfections, we do not receive his imperfections. Receive what is good not

evil like the people who do with river Tagus…” III.22. p.205. “Friendship is to help us to free our faults. We must meekly put up with a friend’s faults, we must not lead them into faults, much less imitate their faults.” Sin cannot be accommodated. “As to sins, we must neither occasion them nor tolerate them in our friends.” Genuine, living friendship cannot continue in the midst of sin.”

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Marriage … a holy friendship. Because in marriage there is communication of life, of work, of goods, of affection and of an indissolubly.” In this sacrament all what we need is indissoluble union of hearts, inviolable faithfulness,… should sincerely and tenderly love each other. Do not follow Adonais and Venus but follow Isaac and Rebecca. Behave chastely towards each other:

“Let each one possess his own vessel in holiness.” 1 Thes4:4.

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Do not allow any kind of

licentiousness to stain the brightness of your

good name. instill fear of God in the children.

The greatest union of husband and wife is in

prayer.

Use marriage bed moderately with reason

and discretion. Certain times Bees that drink

honey beyond reasonable portions, die.

Similarly, excessive indulgence in sex can cause mortal sin. Entangle not in the attachment to the sexual pleasure. Don’t turn away from the spiritual aims.

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A Nose Gay Francis de Sales’

“inspired commonsense spirituality” can make us integral persons promoting

civility in the world and turn it out to be a better place to live in.

• We fulfill this by sanctifying our daily life, in the home and outside home.

• Our relationships, company, gatherings, recreation and speech, are potential paths of sanctity. Direction of Intention, patience and gentleness, charity in all, are mantras that can transform us to Live Jesus.

• Relate well. Live Joyfully. LIVE JESUS!

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