Week 32 25th February 2014

Date Speaker Subject Speaker Host

25th

Feb Barefoot Bowls At Broadbeach Bowls Club

4th March Natalie Durkovic Shen Yun 2014

11th

March Trey Williams Health & Positive Lifestyle

18th

March

DOOR DUTY ROSTER

Date Attendance 1 Attendance 2 Greeter 25

th Feb Ray Milton David O’Dwyer John Harding

4th March Pauline Armstrong Russ Hutchison Alain Charles

11th

March Pauline Armstrong Tony Lewis Bill Rex

18th

March Pauline Armstrong Bruce Kuhn Alex Jordan

Please note: No.1 Doorkeeper will now hold the position for 4 weeks to simplify the handover

proceedings – please check how this affects you. Please note your inclusion in any of the Duty Rosters implies your duty to attend – if you cannot for any

reason, the responsibility for finding your replacement lies with you.

CONGRATULATIONS DUE THIS WEEK

LAST WEEKS MEETING

Attendance Meeting Income

Rotarians

Hon. Members (Ian Cowen)

Visiting Rotarians

Partners/Family

Guest speaker(s)

Club Guests

Visitors

Total

28

1

1

1

31

Copper Pot $17.00 Fines $53.00 Sausage Sizzle $537.00

Birthdays Anniversaries Inductions

1st

March 2014 Malcolm Daviess Denis O’Brien

Malcolm Daviess

Herman Rogers 2008

Alex Jordan 1989

President’s report

Great to welcome past member Greg Walters and Carol to the meeting. Brian and Uwe were apologies for the meeting as they were attending Southport to present a Certificate of Appreciation on behalf of the club for the provision of a grant that enabled our club to purchase two mobility scooters.

Guest Speaker Dr Nigel Purves gave us an insight into his life from playing in a Band called Devil’s Breakfast while at university that included the lead singer being Peter Garrett. Nigel also recounted his love of Karate and representing Australia in the Karate Team as well as all the injuries that he has suffered through enjoying this sport. A pretty intense corporate life followed the band exploits that took Nigel across the world with the various companies that he has had a high level corporate involvement with. An interesting insight into the running of high end corporate entities.

Raffle was taken out by Kevin O’Brien and Heads and Tails by Peter Gowans. Well done to both of you.

David O’Dwyer conducted the sergeant’s session and it was interesting to hear one of those border line jokes again. With the Bowls Night next week, this has been the last we have heard from David for February.

February continues to be a busy month for fellowship, and the Monuments Men Movie Night on Wednesday was well attended by members, partners and guests from our club. Well done to Brian Pearson for selling all the tickets to the Premiere with the proceeds going towards the ongoing eradication of Polio.

Next meeting on Tuesday 25 February will be the Barefoot Bowls night at the Broadbeach Bowls Club at a cost of $25 which will include a Roast Dinner so please remember to book in plus your partner.

Remember also the Fellowship night at ‘The Shed’ on Friday 28 February commencing at 6pm and please indicate your attendance by booking in through the website.

Alain reminded us about filling our money boxes with the funds being applied to the member’s credit with the option of having the funds applied to the general foundation account or towards Polio.

John Monks provided an update on “the Shed’ and where we are up to with certification as well as tree removal. We are still waiting on formal advice in relation to the success of being able to take control and relocate some of the buildings from the old Gold Coast Hospital site.

Please Note: Laos Projects Committee

At the Board Meeting following the club meeting, discussion ensured on the Laos project with the following motion being carried –

“That a committee be formally endorsed as the “Laos Projects Committee” and that the Committee prepare a proposal for submission to the Board for the ongoing support of a nominated orphanage in Saun Luang Laos Further, request that members of the Broadbeach Rotary Club be invited to join the Laos Projects Committee to a maximum of ten (10) and that the committee be endorsed at the March Board meeting of the Club”.

Therefore, nominations are invited for consideration for participating in the Laos Projects Committee and should be submitted to Tony Lewis by 28 February 2014, so that further consideration of this matter can then occur at the March 2014 Board Meeting.

District Conference: In relation to the District Conference to be hosted by Stanthorpe Club from Friday 28 to Sunday 30 March 2014, as Harold and Helen are going to have a sojourn in their caravan at Stanthorpe, there now exists an accommodation vacancy in the eight rooms booked by the club at the High Street Motor Inn. If you are interested in attending, please contact me, before the room is made available to another club.

Thanks to those members who continue to give of their time freely to assist with the many activities that the club is currently involved which include the Scooter Project, the Shed, various Sausage Sizzles and the Laos Project.

Have a good week, Neil

Guest Speaker – Dr. Purves Dr. Purves’ opening remarks, about giving Administrators "Devils Breakfast Talks", sat very well with us, even though he was our after dinner guest speaker. He is indeed a busy man--being a member of the Australian Institute of Charted Accountants and holding a Doctorate of Business Administration, from the Southern Cross University. He is a self professed "High Achiever" his diverse interests include being a Karate Black belt, which he gained at age 15 and as part of the Australian Karate Team, in 1980. This has led to lots of broken bones , over the years. He mixed study at The A.N.U. Canberra, with playing in Rock-N-Roll Bands---he professes to be a poor drummer, usually out of time". His musical exploits were with well known bands of that era, like" Sherbert" and included well known musicians & vocalists, of that time. These Band activities included names like Peter Garrett , Andrew Robb, Mick Mention, Billy Thorpe, David Lowie, Smokey Dawson & others. "They were better musicians than politicians". While They lived together in the ANU Colleges, while studying and playing regularly at dances and Balls. The usual miss behaviour associated with musos & Uni Students, Drinking, took place! The income from band participation assisted with his fees at Law School. So at age 28 , Nigel was out in the the real world as an Accountant-. He was bored while working for a large building firm, so he he went with the troubled "Net Work Media", spending 6 months in New York. They got a series out of Chirgo, Now well known Winfread was on offer as a star attraction -- but her talents were turned down! It all sank, anyhow. Then with the brewers "Cascade Group", remembered because of the " long lunches" commencing midday on Fridays, which represented the end to the working week! The `fridge in the Board Room, took all of one wall and contained samples of all of the company`s Products. And then their "Take Over" Nigel then went to A.W.A. & this was difficult.--The Board—Billy Hughes--5,000 staff, a distribution from the Company of $2M., to shareholders, before a distribution ratifying board meeting. The $200M distributed , then next day turned out to be a $250M loss.

The distribution had been made. The Chairman was shot--and the blame was levelled at a Mr. Koval, who had been absent from the Company. He was in New York as an Investment Banker & joined a "Merdocs" at Dallas Texas. He was shocked by the number of fire arms, being touted by the Texans. Ladies too. He did a "Float", in Australia. Later Real Estate took his fancy. This was relatively Short exercise. A chance meeting in the street, with an executive from Packer`s Consolidated Press, resulted in Nigel`s going over, and he turned Packer`s investments round. He then went with "Gate-Way-Banking" He was happy to leave there—the lesson learned "Do not help a mate with a Company Re-structure". Now he is back with music, again. He active with SKY and Griffith in a $3.5M project. His comment " Radio+ Pics=Won`t Work". The transition--"Everything is going onto Mobile `Phones". "There are 2 billion mobile `phones in use in the world now--this far exceeds the number of T.V`s--so the advertising media is bound to follow the numbers". "Mobile `phones are the most powerful advertising tool, in history”. In Question time--"His most memorable events"-- " Being flown home from Hong Kong by Qantas, while sporting a broken nose, fingers and toes from a 'Kick Boxing', contest". "His time at the "Cascade Group"- their long lunches and the long wall refrigerator". An interesting friend to have, Neil. scribe Ian C.

Last Meeting

The Broadbeach Joker From Janine Paddy and Shamus were hitchhiking. "It's best if we split up," said Paddy. "I will meet you in the next city under the town hall clock". Later that night Shamus was waiting at the appointed place when Paddy drove up in a swank car. "Where the hell did you get that?" Paddy explained that he had just walked a little way when a beautiful woman picked him up. She drove into the woods, got out and took all her clothes off. "She said I could have anything I wanted, so I took the car," said Paddy. "Good choice too," said Shamus. "You'd look ridiculous in her clothes." ---------------------------------------------------- From Nola The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that!" "I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind, Two, you didn't read your homework, and Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed." ---------------------------------------------------- "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --George Bernard Shaw ---------------------------------------------------- "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." --Bernard Bailey ---------------------------------------------------- A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying." ----------------------------------------------------

"I'm glad you were able to tear yourselves away from the Winter Olympics. The sporting event that answers the question, How many different ways can white people injure themselves on ice?" -Jimmy Kimmel ---------------------------------------------------- "The Lego Movie is number 1 at the box office. I saw it. I'm a little disappointed. I liked the first half of the movie but it sort of came apart at the end." -Craig Ferguson ---------------------------------------------------- A man was going door-to-door doing a s*xual survey when he walked up to one man's door, "Excuse me, Sir, how many times a week do you sleep with your wife?" "Three times," the man said without hesitation. "Hmm, that is once more often than your neighbor," the survey taker said, making a note. "That makes sense," the man replied, "after all, she is MY wife." ---------------------------------------------------- Some interesting thoughts from Sue My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. Every morning is the dawn of a new error. ---------------------------------------------------- Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch? A: Icebergers! Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads? A: Ice caps! Q: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark? A: Frost bite! Q: How do you call an Eskimo cow? A: An Eskimoo! Q: What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman? A: She gave him the cold shoulder! Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank! Q: What happens when cranberries get depressed? A: They turn into blueberries! Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? A: They suspected it of fowl play!

Punters Club

Punting Order 2014

Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4

Bob Jordan 4 January

Neil Jones 25 January

Chris Jones 18 January

Malcolm Daviess 11 January

Neil Baldwin 1 February

Richard Grob 8 February

Bill Rex 15 February

Robin Chalker 22 February

Denis O’Brien 1 March

Cec McPaul 8 March

Grahame Werrell 15 March

Tony Lewis 22 March

Noel Hodges 29 March

Eradicate Polio

When we finally succeed, this will never be seen again

*

We are nearly there, more contributions needed, as each new case is more and more remote to treat.