DAY 1 FOR THE 2009 CAMP STAFF OF CAMP PONDEROSAJokesters, food lovers, competitors...this collection of staff has it all!

We’re not an hour into day 1 of staff

arrivals on Sunday when Jordan Witcher

cracks his first joke, “What do you call a dog

that likes to have its fur cleaned

alot?...(crickets)...A Sham-Poodle!”...

(crickets)...The staff wasted no time hitting up

the DQ in Heber, but were regretting it once

again after their Ice-Cream Treat was history

before they even got their Chili Dogs. Yet

we’ll keep going back. Alumni James Combs

and what seemed like 10 different Corps

traveling in one van infiltrated camp without

checking in. No one was surprised that

James didn’t think to announce his visit. Just

make yourself at home James! It was about

this time that Jordan Witcher cracked his

17th joke, “Where did the spaghetti go to

dance?...(crickets)...The Meat Ball! (crickets).

Come dinner time that van load of 10 Corps

and the rest of the staff were patiently (barely)

waiting for dinner. No one had an explanation

for why Rachel and Harryette were taking so

long. However, the reason became clear as

they rolled up with a Toyota Sienna stocked

full of Subway Sandwich Platters, Potato

Chips and Soda Pop. The only thing they

were missing was the fatted calf. It was

enough to feed the 5,000 and so “the people

ate and were satisfied.” (Mark 8:8a) Following

dinner the staff got their praise on. However,

after the feast the praise and worship set

doubled as Praise Pilates! During the inaugu-

ral Sunday evening session Captain Chris

shared that he expected the camp and staff

to catch on fire at some point this summer.

The climax of the night witnessed carpetballs

flying, pings ponging, and bad spelling scat-

tegoried all over the Dining Room floor. Then

the lights went out but not before Jordan

cracked his last funny (#38), “What do you

call N’SYNC when they don’t

bathe?...(crickets)...N’STINK!”...(crickets)

What they’re thinking...”I can’t wait for a second session of Staff

Manual Review.”...”You betchya sis!”

THE PULSECPR - Week 1 - June 7-12, 2009

Philippians 1:21“Life versus more life! I can’t lose.” (MSG)

“I hit my knee a couple of

times. It could have been faster.” (The Tram or Neil?) -

Cody Trimmer

What would you do... “If you were attacked by a rabid elk?”

Here’s what some of your summer staff peers said...Jonathan Robles,

”Stop, drop and roll.” In other words, Jonathan would choose to just delay an

inevitable hoofing-to-death by being a moving target. Maria Cardenas, “Fall.

Play dead.” Maria also appears to plan for the inevitable death by position-

ing herself for an easy rabid elk goring. Kristina Jenkins offers this

advice to those of you with pale skin, “Blind the elk by flashing the

pale skin on your forearm.” Those of you with a darker complex-

ion may want to choose another option. Danielle Brown, “Bust

out into song and dance - HSM status.” Danielle, do you really

think a rabid Elk has the entertainment interest of a 5 year-old?

On the other hand, the Elk may think you’re crazy as well and

thus leave you be. Antonio Romero, “Jump in the bushes or attempt

to froth at the mouth like a rabid Elk yourself.” So, once again, act like a

rabid Elk. Be careful though or you just might find yourself a special rabid

friend. Kaylee Sowers, “Pull some Elk Kung Fu on that

red eyed bad

boy and turn him into jerky.” Have you ever tried Elk jerky? It’s good stuff.

Especially after the meat has been tenderized by some good Elk Kung Fu.

Marie Francis, “Stand there then move at the last second. I wouldn’t run.

That’s for sure!” Great. Another hero who thinks she can handle a

rabid Elk. This could get ugly...for the Elk! Nikkie Hughley, “Scream

for help like this, ‘HELP ME PUHLEES!’” Nikkie would recom-

mend you add as many “U’s” and “E’s” to that “PUHLEES”

depending on the level of desperation you are feeling. Finally,

Joshua Hamilton says, “Use its antlers to stab it in the eye. Then

I’d eat it as a hamburger...I hear they make delicious hamburg-

ers.” You’ll have to ask Josh whether he intends to cook that

rabid Elk first or not. Elk is much better cooked. Stay tuned next

week for break day menuvariations on Elk...

“Catch him and give him to Mr. Russ.” - Alec

Santiago.

By the numbers...38 - The number of wise cracks that SR Counselor Jordan Withcer made on the first day.

15 - The number of times the location for dinner changed on Sunday evening.

3 - The number of staff who insist on wearing headphones everywhere they go. I hope you know that if the wind changes they’ll be permanently attached. It’s true...My Mom told me.

“WANNA SEE MY SCARY FACE?”

WHO ON EARTH OWNS THAT “T”?

You can learn alot about a person by the

“T’s” they sport. As you’re still getting to know

each other can you even name who owns

these “T’s” let alone something interesting

about them? If you can at least name them all

and be the first to see Captain Chris he’ll give

you a brand spankin’ used (and autographed)

“T” from his very own collection.

Quote of the week

NAME? NAME? NAME? NAME?