COPING WITH PARENTAL

DIVORCE IN SOUTH AFRICA

KOBUS DU PLOOY

DIVISION STUDENT SUPPORT

“Losing a mate to death is devastating but it's not a personal attack like divorce. When somebody you love stops loving you and walks away, it's an insult beyond comparison.” – Sue Merrell, Great News Town

“I love you as the mother of my child": the kiss of death. Mother of His Child: demotion. I am beginning to see this truism: Mothers are not always wives. I have been stripped of a piece of self.” – Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.” – Rita Mae Brown

“I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.” – Unknown

INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTION

CONTEXT• Steady increase in the number of divorces and separations in SA in recent

years.

• A large number of students presenting at Student Support with relationship difficulties had experienced parental divorce during their childhood and/or adolescent years. This highlighted the need for a more in depth understanding of this phenomenon in order to develop (amongst others) more effective interventions to assist these students.

• Unsatisfactory interpersonal relationships appeared to place these students at risk as this may have a detrimental impact on their academic performance, which could culminate in the termination of studies.

RATIONALE

• From – interpersonal view – human behaviour – the nature & quality – individual’s interpersonal relationships directly correlate – that individual’s degree – mental health (Vorster, 2011).

• If these students can be understood and assisted more optimally to improve their interpersonal relationships, this could reduce the risk to their optimal functioning, including the reduction of risk of “dropping out” of their studies.

• The aforementioned led to a study conducted between 2012 and 2013 wherein the focus fell on how young adults had coped with the divorce of their parents during their childhood and/or adolescent years. Some of these findings are presented next:

1. RESEARCH DESIGN

A phenomenological, qualitative research design was used.

Personal retrospective interviews were conducted by the researcher with the participants.

The investigation of their subjective experiences on a deep and detailed level was at the core of this procedure, as phenomenological research is concerned with the study of experiences from an individual’s unique point of view.

2. AIMS OF THE STUDYThe focus of the present study fell on how young adults between the ages of 19 and 35 years had coped with the divorce of their parents during their childhood and/or adolescence years.

As such the aims of the present study were: 1. To investigate and obtain a clearer understanding of young adults’ coping with divorce during their childhood and/or adolescent years.2. To determine if there were factors that played a role in coping with parental divorce.3. To determine what recommendations could be made to the parents of children undergoing divorce.4. To determine what recommendations could be made to children while undergoing parental divorce. The research questions that were used in the present study for the aforementioned purpose included: A. How did young adults cope with the divorce of their parents during their childhood and/or adolescent years?B. Were there factors that played a role in their coping and if so, what were the factors?C. What would they recommend to the parents of children during and after divorce?D. What would they recommend to children during and after parental divorce?

3. PARTICIPANT SELECTION

Through snowball sampling young adults, (between the ages of 19 and 35) either married or divorced, were therefore selected who had experienced the divorce of their parents at least 5 years earlier and during either their middle childhood or adolescent years.

4. DATA COLLECTION

Non-directive, personal interviews conduced by the researcher was used to collect data.

The semi-structured interviews were not prescribed in terms of duration but instead lasted until it appeared to the researcher that data saturation had taken place in that all of the topics had been covered and no further concepts were being revealed.

5. DATA ANALYSIS

• Phase 1: Reading of protocols• Phase 2: Division of transcripts into natural meanings units (NMUs)• Phase 3: Linguistic transformation• Phase 4: Integration of natural meaning units (NMUs) with related themes• Phase 5: Synthesis• Phase 6: Development of a general description.

Throughout the aforementioned steps the elements ofphenomenological theory served as a broad framework for thestructuring, organisation and categorisation of the data.

6. TRUSTWORTHINESS AND ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS

The researcher attempted to present the data poignantly and also aimed to suspend any former personal assumptions in order to maintain an open approach towards the phenomenon

as it presented itself.

A peer review group consisting of three other registered psychologists was also requested to critically examine the researcher’s analyses in an effort to overcome any possible intrinsic bias

and to ensure that no important themes or information may have been missed.

The voluntary and anonymous nature of the information obtained by participants washighlighted within an introductory letter that all of the participants received.

Participants were also requested to complete an informed consent document forparticipating in he study.

The research project was also approved by the Research and Ethics Committee ofNorth-West University (Potchefstroom campus).

7. FINDINGS

Gender Race Age Occupation Highest qualification

Participant 1 Female White 30 years Counselling Psychologist

Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology

Participant 2 Female White 23 years Student Grade 12Participant 3 Male White 24 years Student Grade 12Participant 4 Female White 20 years Student Grade 12Participant 5 Male White 28 years Entrepreneur Grade 12Participant 6 Male White 21 Years Student Grade 12Participant 7 Female White 22 years Student Grade 12Participant 8 Female White 19 years Student Grade 12Participant 9 Female White 22 years Student Grade 12Participant 10 Male Black 21 Years Student Grade 12Participant 11 Male White 34 years Business

ConsultantBachelor of Engineering

Participant 12 Female White 21 years Student Grade 12Participant 13 Female Black 22 years Student Bachelor of ArtsParticipant 14 Female White 31 years Teacher Bachelor of ArtsParticipant 15 Male White 23 years Student Bachelor of Theology

Gender, race, age, occupation and educational qualification/s of the participants:

7. FINDINGS

Themes: 1. Cognitive coping strategies

2. Communication as coping strategy

3. Distraction and avoidance as coping strategy

4. Spiritual coping

Sub –hemes:

1.1 Persistence1.2 Re-appraisal

Acceptance and personal growth

Reframing1.3 Problem solving

2.1. Choice to communicate2.2. Effective communication

in the following relationships:

Friendships Parents Extended family

members School teachers Psychotherapists

/Counsellors Romantic partners

Summary of themes and sub-themes relating to adults’ coping with parental divorce during childhood and/or adolescence:

7. FINDINGS

Factors hindering coping

Factor 1 Parent-child communication difficultiesDifficulties relating to effective communication with custodial parentDifficulties relating to effective communication with non-custodial parent

Factor 2 Environmental disruptions

Factor 3 Parental conflict

Factor 4 Lack of parental coping

Factors hindering coping:

8. DISCUSSION:

All of the aforementioned coping skills were identified by the participants as having been highly effective for them to cope with parental divorce and were also confirmed by other similar research findings from the literature.

The main exception relating to the above from the present study in relation to other literature findings was, however, the emphasis on effective communication in significant relationships as coping strategy as opposed to only social support. In this manner the present study highlighted that open and effective communication, and not only social support, significantly contributes to effective coping with parental divorce.

8. DISCUSSION:In addition to the aforementioned coping skills, certain factors were identified from the present study which the participants indicated to be hindering to the coping themes and sub-themes referred to above.

Interestingly these factors often appear to strongly correlate with the coping themes that were also identified from the data, for example where communication was found to be effective with social support systems in the child or adolescents’ environment, the levels of effective coping with parental divorce was found to be higher with fewer long-term adverse effects. Conversely, where communication was found to be ineffective, such as where a child or adolescent had chosen to self-isolate themselves and not utilise the available social support from within their environment, the levels of effective coping with parental divorce were found to be lower and more adverse long-term effects to be present.

9. LIMITATIONS:• Sample size relatively small and not representative. As qualitative research is concerned with depth of relationship, 15 participants were nevertheless considered a sufficient sample size.

• Use of retrospective interviews could possibly lead to faulty memory. Give the participants in the present study were however not older than 35 and denied any form of medical condition which may have affected their memory, their accounts were regarded as not having been impaired.

•The researcher as a subjective individual may have been biased in the process of analysing the data. In an effort to have controlled for this possibility the following precautions were taken:

Bracketing of all his presuppositions and theories by the researcher in accordance with the phenomenological method of conducting research.All of the interviews were transcribed verbatim.Validation of the themes and sub-themes as well as the factors identified in the present study, was achieved by means of justification from the data by way of direct quotations.A peer review group of three other psychologists critically examined the researcher’s analyses to overcome any possible intrinsic bias.

CONCLUSION

• Despite its limitations the findings of the present study provide an in-depth understanding of how children and/or adolescents experience parental divorce in South Africa. This enables any individual who supports and/or therapeutically treats a family during a divorce process to assist these families, particularly the children and/or adolescents from these families, to cope more effectively. This also includes students at tertiary students who may be at risk due to these circumstances to be hindered in their academic performance.

• Further research at different locations and with more diverse samples throughout South Africa is encouraged to provide a more encompassing perspective of coping with parental divorce in South Africa.

QUESTIONS