cOnTenTs

AbouttheContributors 9 Introduction 11

1.MindingYourDignity: “Thereismoretoyouthanyouknow.” 15 Rosalie de Rosset 2.FindingYourVoice:KnowingandBeingKnown 35 Pam MacRae 3.Longing:FromDisparitytoDesire 55 Linda Haines 4.“EverythingIsTheological” 75 Rosalie de Rosset 5.DistractedorDignified?:“SolidorGhostly” 95 Rosalie de Rosset 6.MindfulorMindless:ATheologyofPlay 117 Rosalie de Rosset 7.ReadingasaSpiritualExercise 137 Rosalie de Rosset 8.SexualDignity:NotbyAccident 157 Linda Haines 9.ATheologyofModesty:NakedyetUnashamed 181 Stacie Parlee-Johnson10.IsItWorthIt?IsHeWorthy? 199 Rosalie de Rosset

Appendix1:ItShouldn’tBeEasy 211 Appendix2:“SoMuchfromSoLittle” 215 Notes 221 Resources 233 Acknowledgments 237

chapTeR 1

MIndIng YOUR dIgnITY“There is more to you than you know.”

BY ROsalIe de ROsseT

DIGNITY: Formal, grave or noble bearing, conduct or speech; nobility or elevation of character.

The quality or condition of being worthy, esteemed or honored; inherent nobility and worth; poise and self-respect; formal reserve or

seriousness of manner appearance, or language.1

16

UnsedUced Unshakenand

She is clothed with strength and dignity. . . .

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

PROVERBS31:25–26 (niv)

The dIgnIfIed WOMan

Inthespringof2011,thenewestmovieversionofJane Eyre,basedontheextraordinary1847novelbyCharlotteBrontë,

openedintheatersacrossthecountry.Thoughtherehavebeenanumberoffilmsbasedonthenovelthroughouttheyears,manycriticspraisedit.Inearliermovies,somecriticsnoted,theleadcharactershaveoftenbeentoogood-looking,thefemaleheroinetoomild-mannered,bothoftheserepresentationsnotinlinewithBrontë’scharacterization.

Iwasstruckbythewordsoftwocritics. WritingforChicago’sThe Reader,J.R.Jonesnotes,“CastinghandsomestarsintheleadroleshasbeenachroniccompromiseinadaptingJaneEyre,whoseheroineisrepeatedlydescribedasplainlookingandwhoseheroisdownrightugly.”Moreimportant,however,hewritesaboutJanethefollowingwords:“[InJane Eyre],Brontëstruckamightyblowforhergenderwhenshecreatedhertitlecharacterandnarrator,anorphanedgirlwhomaturesintoaformidablyself-possessedyoungwoman;Jane’smoralsensibilityissodetailed,sofullyrealizedthatnoreadercouldthinkheranylessapersonthanthemensurround-ingher.”2 Inotherwords,hereisawomantobetakenseriouslybecauseofhercharacter.

“Aformidablyself-possessedyoungwomanwithafullyreal-

17

Minding Your dignity

ized,detailedmoralsensibility.”That’sadescriptionthatdeservesattention.Idecidedtolookateachprimarywordorphraseofthesentencetoremindmyselfexactlywhattheymean.It’ssoeasytomissthebeautyoffinelanguage.Thedictionarydefinestwoofthewordsasfollows.Formidable:causinggreatrespect,evenfear;self-possessed:someonewhohascontrolofherlongingsandattendantfeelingsandbehaviorespeciallywhenunderpressure.Fully realized, detailed moral sensibilitymeansthatJanehasdevelopedandrefinedherconvictions,intellect,andlongingstoagreatcapacity.Sheisawomanofcharacter,whatonewritercalls“theinnerformthatmakesanyoneoranythingwhatitis—whetheraperson,awineorahistoricalrecord.”3

Although I have heard speakers and leaders stress the importance of humility and honesty for women, I have heard little or no admonition to them to be spirited.

Jonesisnotaloneinhisassessment.A.O.Scott,writingfortheNew York Times,says,“JaneEyremaylackfortuneandgoodlooks—sheisfamously‘smallandplain’aswellas‘poorandobscure’—butastheheroineofanovel,shehaseverything.Fromtheveryfirstpages...Janeembodiesvirtuesthatmightbeoff-puttingiftheywerenotsopersuasive....Sheisbrave,humble,spiritedandhon-est,thekindofpersonreadersfallinlovewithandbelievethem-selvestobeintheirinnermosthearts.”4HereinasecularvenueisareviewerwhoatonceacknowledgesthatJaneisplainandpoorandcontendswithadmirationthatsheisayoungwomanwhohas

18

UnsedUced Unshakenand

“everything.”Theeverythingshehas,Scottsays,isthatsheis“humble,spiritedandhonest.”Spiritedisaworddefinedas“fulloforcharacterizedbyanimation,vigor,orcourage.”5Scottalsoadmitsthathervirtuesare“off-puttingiftheywerenotsopersuasive,”aparticularlyintriguingphrase.Howinterestingthatacontempo-rary,secularcritichasfoundaplainwomantohave“everything.”And,Imightadd,howcomfortingandunusual.Thathethinksread-ers“believethemselvestobe[Jane]intheirinnermosthearts”hastobeamarkofwhatmanywomenandsomemenwanttobesincetherealityisthatfewpeopletodayarelikeJane.EvenfewerquicklyadmiretheJanestheymeetinreallife,atellingirony.

Overaperiodofthirty-fiveyears,Ihavespokenatagreatmanyconferencesandseminarsforwomenofallages,butIhaveneverseenadvertisedorheardatalkentitled,“Howtobecomeaformi-dable,self-possessedwomanoffullyrealizedmoralsensibility.”AlthoughIhaveheardspeakersandleadersstresstheimportanceofhumilityandhonestyforwomen,Ihaveheardlittleornoadmoni-tiontothemtobespirited,eventhoughthedefinitionofthewordasnotedabovedescribesacommendable,evennecessaryattributeforawomanofcharacter.

Ican’thelpstoppingonthelastreviewer’swordsthatJanehasvirtueswhichare“off-puttingiftheywerenotsopersuasive.”IthinkwhathemeansisthatJaneknowshermind,aqualitythatisalwaysstartling,eventhreatening.InsomeChristiancirclesthiswouldbeseenastheproverbial“toostrong.”Janeisapersonofgreatconviction,whichsometimesmeanstellingahardtruthwhenitneedstobesaid.Whatispersuasiveisthatfinally,JaneEyreisvirtuous(anotherconceptonehearslittleabout)anddignifiedinthewaythatElizabethBennet,theheroineofPride and Prejudice,

19

Minding Your dignity

alsois,withthedifferencethatJane’schoicesareinfluencedbyGod’sovertactioninherlife.Thefoundationalpremiseintheseremarksisthatittakesspiritednessandconvictionandeventellingahardtruthtobetrulyvirtuousanddignified,avirtueanddignitythatinvolvespurposefulattentiontoone’smind,one’ssoulanditslongings,andone’sspirit,allofwhichaffectone’sphysicallife.

ItseemspossibletosuggestthattheaverageChristiangirlandwomanmaylearnmoreabouthowtodothisfromclassicnovelslikethoseofJaneAustenandCharlotteBrontëthanfromaChristianwomen’smagazine,aChristianromancenovel,aChristian-livingbook,orfromsomewomen’sconferences.Icanhearsomereaderssaying—can’tyoufindsomethingmorecurrentthanthesebookstoillustrateyourpointwithcontemporarywomen?Thedefinitionofclassicisaworkthatlasts,thatisdatedonlyinsuperficialdetailsuchasparticularitiesofdressandspeech,butwhosethemesareuniversalandtimeless.Thesenovelsarespecific,hard-hitting,donotresorttopiousclichés,andtheyshowconsequences.Theyshowinsteadofjusttelling,oneofthefirstprinciplesanywritingorspeechteachertellsherstudents.Theyarealsoelegantlywritten.And,whileprofoundlymoral(alltruthisGod’struth),thisnovelisnot“religious,”generallyorspecifically.

Belovedforyearsbywomenofeveryageandclass,Pride and Prejudiceanditsvariousfilmtakesshowthecontrastbetweensillywomenwhomakepoorchoicesandaheroinewho,whileflawed,isneverthelessprincipled,modest,noble,self-disciplined,anddigni-fied.Evennon-Christianwomenwhosemoralcode,philosophyofmodesty,anddatingbehavioraren’tremotelylikethoseofthenovels’charactersappeartobeengaged.Onecanonlyspeculate,then,thatwomenyearnfortheverydignityandrestraintthey

20

UnsedUced Unshakenand

eschewbyallowingthemselvestobeclonesoftheculture;theylongtoberespectedandcherishedevenwhentheychoosemenwhodoneither;theywanttobelikeElizabethBennetandJaneEyreoratleasttoendupbeinglovedastheseheroinesarebygoodmen.Manyofthem,Christianandnon-Christianseem,however,unabletonavigatethepathstosuchconclusions.

ElizabethBennet,whilehavingattractivefeatures,isnotsaidtobebeautiful.Whatemergesfarmoreclearlyisherwit,herintel-ligence,herhonestyinspeakinghermind,herrefusaltoacceptdisrespectevenfromthemansheloves,herwillingnesstobealoneratherthancompromisehersoul,andherindependenceexercisedwithrestraint.Insummary,sheisthepictureofdignity.

Andthatiswhatseldomcomesuptoday,thecrucialrolethatdignityneedstoplayinthedevelopmentofeverywomanwhoclaimstoknowJesusChristaspersonalSavior.Thisiswhatneedstoinformeveryfacetofawoman’slife,everychoiceshemakes.I’mnotevensuredignityisawordanyonehasthoughtaboutforalongtime.

WhaT dO YOU ThInk?

IhavewonderedthroughtheyearswhoChristianwomen’srolemodelsareandiftheyaregettingthepurposefulguidancetheyneedfromolderwomen.IhaveinformallyaskedgroupsofyoungwomenthisquestionyearlyinaclassIteach.Dependingontheyear,threeorfournamescomeup.Oneortwoofthemisusuallythelatestwell-knownfemaleauthor/speakeroftheday;theothersarehistoricalfigureslikeSusannaWesleyorAmyCarmichael.Ortheynameagrandmother,amother,orasister,somethingwhichusuallyhasmoreconvictionandspecificity.ThewomenIaskseem

21

Minding Your dignity

tohaveahardtimethinkingofpeopleorarticulatingwhattheyaremodelingthemselvesafter.

IfoundinterestingwhatoneyoungwomanwroteaboutEmmaWatson,whoplaysHermioneGrangerintheHarryPotterfilmseries.“Whenayoungwomanhasgrownupwithmillionsofpeoplewatchingherentireadolescentdevelopment,criticizingandcon-trollingherphysicalappearance,andconfusingheridentitywiththatofafictionalcharacter,thepressuresmakeconsistentdignityseemimpossible.EmmaWatsonhaslivedthislifewithdignityandself-respect,prizinghereducation,maintainingprivacy,avoidingscandals,conductinginterviewsandpublicstatementswithgrace,andencouragingotherwomentohaveself-respect.”6Whetherornotyouagreewiththisassessment,ithitsmanyoftherightnotes.

So,Iaskyoutothinkaboutthequestion:Whatdoyouthinkofwhenyouheartheworddignity?Perhapsmorespecifically,whodoyouthinkof?Whatpersoncomestomind?Isitapopularsinger,speaker,movieactress,orperhapsafriendorrelative?Andhowdoyoupicturedignity?Isitsomethingyouaspiretobe?Whatwouldyouchangeaboutyourselftobedignified?

dIgnITY defIned

Dignity:theword,again,deservesacloselook.Thefirstorseconddefinitionsofthewordfromavarietyofdictionariesareasfollows:“formal,graveornoblebearing,conductorspeech;nobilityoreleva-tionofcharacter;thequalityorconditionofbeingworthy,esteemedorhonored;inherentnobilityandworth;poiseandself-respect;formalreserveorseriousnessofmannerappearance,orlanguage.”

Dignity,itisclear,isnotthesamethingaspoise;itisnotthesamethingasbeauty,anditiscertainlynotthesamethingasstyle

22

UnsedUced Unshakenand

though,ofcourse,adignifiedpersonmayhaveanyoneorallofthosequalities.Probablythecharacteristicmostconfusedwithdignityispoise,definedas“tobebalancedorheldinequilibrium:balance;freedomfromaffectationorembarrassment;composure.”7Littleaboutthisdefinitionsuggestsmuchabouttheinternalval-uesofthepersonorabouthercharacter;instead,itdescribesanoutwardbehaviorthatmayormaynotbeinfluencedbyinternalstabilityandintegrity.Manyofthecelebritiespresentedtousinmediaoutletshavebeenpoised,althoughadmittedly,eventhatisbecomingathingofthepastasonelooksattheembarrassingandludicrousbehaviorofsomanywhoarehavingwhatAndyWarholcalledtheirfifteenminutesoffame.

The truth of the matter is that most of us are in process, no matter what our age.

ProbablyoneofthemostfamousindividualsinmodernhistorywhoconsistentlyanddeservedlyhasbeencalledpoisedisPrin-cessDiana,whosedecisions,asshesuffereddisappointmentandbetrayal,weredeeplyflawedandledtoundignifiedchoicesandthetragedyofherlife.Interestinglyenough,MotherTeresa,whodiedwithinafewdaysofPrincessDiana,wasprobablyseldomdescribedaspoised,butalwaysseenasdignified,anissueofcharacter.Inrecenthistory,LauraBushwasseenbyalmosteveryoneonbothsidesofthepoliticalspectrumasdignifiedandgraceful.Thesewerequalitiesthatemanatedfromherperson;whilenotbeautiful,shewasoftenradiantwithoutbeingshowy;whenaskedhard,evenrudequestionsbyherhusband’senemies,sheansweredwithgra-

23

Minding Your dignity

ciousconviction,andsometimesasenseofdisarminghumor.ShehandledthedutiesoftheWhiteHousewithoutbringingattentiontoherself;shewasmodestandcontained.

Dignitycontainswithinit,asthedefinitionssuggest,notonlynoblebearing,afacetofappearance,butalsonoblecharacter whichcomesfrominherent nobilityandworth.Thatmeansthepersonissureofhervaluesandbeliefs,sheissoberandthoughtfulabouteverypartofherlife.And,whatthisdiscussionistryingtodoistointroducetoyoudignity’simportance,nottopresentyetanotherunreachableideal.Ifyoucanseethecrucialroleofaquality,itispossibletobeginthejourneytowardthatqualitybecauseitprom-isesalifeofgreaterintegrity.Thetruthofthematteristhatmostofusareinprocess,nomatterwhatourage.Itiseasierforsomeofustolookdignifiedthanothers,buttotrulybedignifiedissomethingdifferentthathasanumberofcomponents.

JustasIhaveneverheardorseenadvertisedaseminarcalled“Howtobecomeaformidable,self-possessedwomanoffullyreal-izedmoralsensibility,”Ihavealsoneverseenoneentitled“HowtoBeDignifiedinYourChoices,”thoughofcoursewisebooksandinnumerablearticleshavebeenwrittenandcountlesspresentationsmadeaboutmakinggoodchoices.Oddlyenough,givenitsimpor-tance,oneseldomhearstheworddignitydiscussedasavalueforhumanbehaviorbynon-ChristiansorChristiansalthoughitmaybeusedtodescribesomeonefromtimetotime.Ifyoudoacursorysearchofarticlesondignity,besidesrandomreferencesinChris-tianblogshereandthere,you’llfindmostlypiecesaddressedtothemedicalandsocialservicescommunities,articlesabouthelpingpeople todiewithdignityandthedisenfranchisedtofinddignitythroughabetterlife.JohnPaulIIwroteaboutthedignityofwomen

24

UnsedUced Unshakenand

inoneofhisapostolicletters,arguingthatChristianity,morethan“anyotherreligion”hasgivenwomenspecialdignityandurgesthechurchtousetheminmoresignificantways.

Dignity is a strong, chosen, deliberate way of life, the result of the totality of a person’s choices and worldview.

WhendignityistalkedaboutamongChristianwomen,itmostoftenhastodowiththepassagesaboutwives’behaviorin1Timo-thyandtheproverbial“quietandsubmissivespirit,”aphrasethatisseldomcorrectlyscripturallyinterpretedandistoooftenequatedwithpassivitycontributingtowomen’svoicelessness.Passivity,wroteoneclinicalpsychologist,“isbornofanxiety;itisafearofus-ingourenergieslestweriskdisapprovalbyothersorriskfailureinourowneyes....Itisadisowningofournoblerparts—ourself-re-liance,ourcourageunderfire,ourresolvetowin,ourdeterminationtoinspireotherstogreaterheights.”8

dIgnITY lIved OUT

TobeaChristianwomanofdignity,awomanmustknowwhosheisbeforeGod;shemusthavedealtthoughtfullywithherperson-hoodandmadedecisionsaboutwhoshewillbe.Dignityisastrong,chosen,deliberatewayoflife,theresultofthetotalityofaperson’schoicesandworldview.WhichtakesusbacktoJaneEyre,whoisamodelofthatkindofliving.Again,Ichosethisbook,notbecauseofitsage,butbecauseofitsunusualcentralcharacter,onewhosestrengthandcharacterstandoutenduringly.

25

Minding Your dignity

JaneEyreenduresoppression,starvation,madness,conde-scension,andcoldness.Sheispresentedwithanumberofwomenrolemodelswhomsheobserves,learnsfrom,anddepartsfromtobecomeherownperson.Oneofthosemodelsistooideal,toocompliant,thoughgood.Anotheristooangelic,andstillanothersometimespassive-aggressive.Janeistoostrongtocompromiseherconvictions,andsheispassionate,qualitieswhichpresentedproblemsforVictoriancriticsandperhapsforustodayattimes.And,shedarestosuggestthatsinglenessispreferabletoaninap-propriatemarriage.

Ifyouknowthestoryatall,JaneEyreistheaccountofayoung,orphanedBritishgirlwhogoestolivewithanauntandcousins,allofwhomtreathercruelly.Sheisthensenttoaboardingschoolforpoorgirls,whereasupposedlyChristiandirector,actuallyamon-ster,treatstheorphansabusivelyandtyrannically—manyofthemdyingofcold-relatedillnessesandstarvation.Allofthishashistori-calprecedentinthetimesofthenovelandwaspartofCharlotteBrontë’sandhersisters’experience.

Jane,whodoesnothavetheadvantageofgoodlooksorgoodfortune,survivesinspiritbecauseshechoosesthepathherlife(spirit,mind,andbehavior)willtake,oftenagainstculturalmoresandcorruptauthoritativevoices,Shehasasenseofvoicefromthetimesheisachildandtellsthetruthineverycircumstance,evenwhenitcouldendangerherwell-being.Thoughshemustlearntorefineherexpression,shewillnotsilencethevoiceofherintellec-tualneedsormutehermoralvoicebycompromisinghercharacterwithpoorrelationalorsexualchoicesforthesakeoffleetinghappi-ness.Sherisestoahigherstandard,aGod-givenunderstandingofrighteousness.

26

UnsedUced Unshakenand

So,firstofall,shetellsthetruth, arighteoustruth.Shetrustsherinstincts—somethingwomenareoftenpronetoignore.Shedoesn’tgoalongwiththeconventionalwisdomthatsays“keepquiet,taketheabuse,answerquestionsthewayyou’reexpectedto.”Shecallsherauntonhercruelbehavior.Sherefusestogivepiousanswerstotheevilschooldirector,Mr.Brocklehurst,whenheaskshersupposedly“spiritualquestions”abouttheBible.Listentothefollowingexchange—startingwithhisattempttointimidateher.

“Doyouknowwherethewickedgoafterdeath?”“Theygotohell,”wasmyreadyandorthodoxanswer.“Andwhatishell?Canyoutellmethat?”“Apitfulloffire.”“Andshouldyouliketofallintothatpit,andtobeburningthereforever?”

“Nosir.”“Whatmustyoudotoavoidit?”...“Imustkeepingoodhealth,andnotdie.” [repliesJane]9

Thereadercan’thelpsmilingatthischildlikehonesty,butalsothekindoftruthfulspiritthatwillbecome“astrongmoralsensibil-ity.”That’sthekindofwomenIthinkJesuswantsustobe—that’sthekindofbiologicalandspiritualdaughtersHewantsustoraise,womenwhohavearighteousinstinctforrecognizing,naming,andresistingabuseandfalsehood.

WhenJaneleavestheboardingschool,shegoestoThornfield,anestatewhereshebecomesagovernessforayounggirl.Thejobofgovernesswasonlyasgoodastheemployermadeit.Anythingcouldbedonetogovernesses,and,becauseofwhattheyendured,the

27

Minding Your dignity

proportionoftheminmentalasylumswassubstantial.WhileJaneisgratefulforthejob,sheisnotsubservient.Sheremarks:

Itisinvaintosayhumanbeingsoughttobesatisfiedwithtranquility;theymusthaveaction;andtheywillmakeitiftheycannotfindit.... Womenaresupposedtobeverycalmgenerally:butwomenfeeljustasmenfeel;theyneedexercisefortheirfaculties,andafieldfortheireffortsasmuchastheirbrothersdo;theysufferfromtoorigidarestraint,tooabsoluteastagnation,preciselyasmenwouldsuffer....Itisthoughtlesstocondemnthem,orlaughatthem,iftheyseektodomoreorlearnmorethancustomhaspronouncednecessaryfortheirsex.10

Thesewordsstillringstrongtodayastheywereshockingthen,160yearsago,buttheyshowanaccurateunderstandingoftheneedforwomen,ashumanbeings,tofulfilltheirgifts,tousetheircreativity,tostretchbeyondprescribedactivitiesandpassivitytotruehumanity.Dignityrequiresthedevelopmentofprincipleandtheuseofintelligence.

WhenJanemeetsRochester,herboss,andthemanwhobe-comesthegreatloveofherlife,sheneverthelesskeepshersenseofvoice,outrageousthenasitisnow.Atonepoint,whenhehasbeencondescendingtoher,shesaystohimarticulatelytosaytheleast:

Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,Iamsoullessandheartless?—Youthinkwrong!—Ihaveasmuchsoulasyou,—andfullasmuchheart!...Itismyspiritthataddresses

28

UnsedUced Unshakenand

yourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwestoodatGod’sfeet,equal,—asweare!11

Thisisnotawomanwhocanbeputdownorforcedintofalsesubmissionbyhersocialpositionorthedominanceofthemanwholovesher.CharlotteBrontëwasseverelycriticizedforthisworkbecauseshedaredtoportrayawomanwhowouldnotsurrendertotheworstofherculture’sexpectations—wouldnotgiveuphersenseofselfandconviction,nomatterwhathersocialcaste.ThisisawomanwhoputsahighvalueonherselfasGoddoesalso.Inherowndefense,inthefaceofcriticswhoaccusedherofpresentinganinappropriatemodelforyoungwomenandwhocalledhersensibil-ity“masculine,”Brontëwrotethefollowingwordsintheprefacetothenovel’ssecondedition:“Conventionalityisnotmorality.Self-righteousnessisnotreligion.Toattackthefirstisnottoassailthelast.TopluckthemaskfromthefaceofthePharisee,isnottoliftanimpioushandtotheCrownofThorns.”12Inotherwords,whathasalwaysbeendoneculturallyisnotthesameasmoralprinciple.PointingoutthehypocrisyofwhatapersonorchurchhasdecidedisappropriateisnotanattackonthepersonofJesusChrist.

As I say to my students, Jane and Rochester are not just “in heat.”

Iwonderhowmanyyoungwomenreadingthisfeelthatsenseofself,thatsenseofworthbeforeGod,aworththatextendstotheirchoicesandabilitytostandforwhattheyknowisright?Iwonderhowmanywomeningeneralcanmakethedistinctionbetween

29

Minding Your dignity

whattheirsubculturedictates(thechurch,thecirclestheyoccupy)andtruemorality,betweentheself-righteousnessofpeerpressureandtrueconviction,betweenpharisaicaldemandsandwhatChristwantsHisdaughterstobe?

NotonlyisJanetruthfulandthoughtful,butsheisalsomorallyresolute;shedoestherightthinginthefaceofgreattemptation,arighteousbehaviorwhichisnotaccidentalbutbornofawhole lifefilledwiththepracticeofcharacter,whatwewouldcallholiness.So,whenJanemustleaveRochester,whomshehasinherneedforlovemadeagod(Iwillnotinsertaspoilerforthosewhohavenotreadthenovel)yetwithwhomshehasfallendeeplyinlove,sherunslikeJosephranfromPotiphar’swife.Thisisnosmallact,astheloveJaneandRochesterfeelforeachotheriscompletelydifferentfromtheshallowrelationshipsusuallydrawninformulaicChristianorsecularromancenovelsandeveninsomepersonalaccounts.

InmuchthesamewaythatDarcyandElizabethareattractedtoeachotherinPride and Prejudice,JaneandRochesteraredrawntoeachotherbecauseeachfindstheothersointeresting.Eachadmirestheother’sstrengthandthoughtfulness(bythisImeangivingthoughtto)asshowninbehaviorandconversation.Eachchallengestheotherinthebestsenseoftheword.Thisisaconnectionofthemindswhichleadstoadeeper,moreenduringpassionthanthatsparkedbyalesslayeredattraction.AsIsaytomystudents,JaneandRochesterarenotjust“inheat.”So,Jane’srefusingtosinistheresultofhermoralresolve,hersenseofidentitybeforeGod,herchoiceofwhatisrightoverwhattheheartwants.Herchoiceis“spirited.”Thisistherefusaltosurrendertodesperationorfearofbeingalone;itshowsnobilityofcharacteranddignifiedliving.

ListentotheprocessJanegoesthroughinthemidstofloss,of

30

UnsedUced Unshakenand

homelessness,ofnothingtoquietherterrorbutGodandinthefaceofheroverpoweringlove,attraction,andcompassionforRochester.Firstofall,sheasksherselfthequestionanywomanwhohaslovedcanunderstand.Thinkofatimewhenyouhavebeendatingamanwhohasapornographyproblem,whoisnottreatingyouwell,orwhoisn’tgoodforyouspiritually,emotionally,orphysically.Janefeelstornbyherbeloved’sdesolation—shewantsinourvernacular“tobethereforhim.”Shesays,“Feeling...clamouredwildly.‘Oh,comply!’itsaid....‘Soothehim;savehim;lovehim;tellhimyoulovehimandwillbehis.Whointheworldcaresforyou?orwhowillbeinjuredbywhatyoudo?’”Inthewakeofherpity,herhabitofthinkingrationallyandtheologicallyandherself-respectkickin.“Stillindomitablewasthereply—‘Icareformyself.Themoresolitary,themorefriendless,themoreunsustainedIam,themoreIwillrespectmyself.IwillkeepthelawgivenbyGod;sanctionedbyman.’”13Indomitableisanotherofthosewordsthatdeservesacloserlook.Itmeans“incapableofbeingovercome,subdued,orvan-quished.”14Here,ofcourse,thesenseofitisthateventhegreatestpassion,thedeepesthumanlongingcannotovercomeJaneinthefaceoftruth,ofwhatsheknowstoberight.

Finally,inoneofthemorepowerfultheologicalstatementsJaneEyremakes,sheteachesherreadersthefoundationofhowoneistolivewhenshesayswithdesperatedetermination,“IwillholdtotheprinciplesreceivedbymewhenIwassane,andnotmad—asIamnow.Lawsandprinciplesarenotforthetimeswhenthereisnotemptation....Theyhaveaworth—soIhavealwaysbelieved;andifIcannotbelieveitnow,itisbecauseIaminsane—quiteinsane:withmyveinsrunningfire,andmyheartbeatingfasterthanIcancountitsthrobs.”15Torephrase,God’slawsareeasilykeptwhenone

31

Minding Your dignity

isnotenduringtemptation.Howcommittedwearetowhatwesaywebelieveistestedwhenweare“insane,”literallyoutofourmindswithtemptation,whenitishardtoremembertruth.

dIgnITY and MeMORY

ApproximatelytwohundredusesofthewordrememberappearintheOldandNewTestaments,manyofthemreminderstorecallthehistoricaleventsthroughwhichthepatriarchspassedsothattheirdescendantsmightbegivenfaith.ReadersareurgedtorememberhowGodledHischildrenandtheirenslavementanddeliverance,toconsiderthegenerationslongago.Theyareevenurgedtoasktheirfathersforthathistory.ReadersarecalledupontoextolGod’swordsandwonders,toremembertheancientlawsandfindcomfortinthem.ThefailuretoremembermarkssomeofthegreatdefeatsofthechildrenofIsrael.SometimesmymotherusedtosaytomeasIwentoutwithmyfriends,“Rememberwhoyouareandwhomyoubelongto.”Dignitydemandsthatwerememberthatwearedaugh-tersofGod,thatwebelongtoHimatalltimes,butparticularlywhenasJanesays,weare“insane.”

If your faith matters, your mind matters.

WhathelpsJaneintemptationandlossisbothherabilitytothinkcriticallyinamomentofpassionandhertheology—herobjectivebeliefinaGodoftruth,herinsistenceuponremember-ingtruth.Sheunderstandsthatshemustbehavewithrighteous-nessanddignityinspiteofwhatshefeels.Shemustliveaboveheremotionsaspowerfulastheymaybe;shemustnotrationalizeher

32

UnsedUced Unshakenand

choices,choiceswhichmakeallthedifferenceinherlife,thediffer-encebetweenwastingtimeinsinandtrustingGodforherhappi-ness.And,itmakesheramodeltoothers,proofthatonecanlivewiselyandwell.

Ifyourfaithmatters,yourmindmatters.Ifyourmindmatters,itisimportantwhatyoudowithit,theologicallyandintellectually.Youcannotseparateyourspirituallifefromthelifeofthemind.Youcan’tbefullyhumanwithoutusingwiselyallthefacultiesGodhasgivenyou.Theyareintertwined;onewillnotthrivewithouttheother.Inneglectingoneortheother,youwillliveasmall,shriveledexistence.Janemakestherightdecisionsbecauseherintellectualreasoningabilityandtheologicalunderstandingaresound,protect-ingherfrommoralfailure.

Theculturehasencouragedsomuchself-focusandindulgencethatsometimesIwonderifwehaven’ttoldourselveswecan’tbeheroinesintheold-timetradition.Beingaheroinemeansbeingcounterculturalwherecultureorsubcultureiswrongheaded.Every-wherewelook,peoplearetellingstoriesofrecoveryfromsin;and,ofcourse,God’sgraceismarvelousbeyondwords.However,itispossibletochoosewell,tospendlesstimerecoveringandmoretimedeepeningourwalkwithGod.

InJ.R.R.Tolkien’sThe Hobbit,themagicianGandalftellsthere-luctantandunlikelyheroBilboBaggins,“Thereismoretoyouthanyouknow,”16moreinthisinstancethandoingwhathehasalwaysdone.ThewisemagicianknowsthatBilbohasbecomeaddictedtothatcozyhobbithole;helikeseatinganddrinkingwell,helikesbeingcomfortable.ButGandalfknowsthatBilbohastwosidestohisnature,that“withinthehobbit’sveinscoursedbloodnotonlyfromthesedentaryBagginssideofthefamilybutalsofromthe

33

Minding Your dignity

swashbucklingTookside.”17Bilbohasgottenusedtothesedentaryside,andafterall,he’snotdoinganythingwrong;he’sjustanice,evengenerous,placidhobbitwhoknowshowtohaveagoodtime,whofitsintohiscommunity.But,somethingtranscendentiscallingtoBilbo—tellinghimthereismoretolifethanthis,thatthereareadventurestobehadonaheroicscale,thatthereisgoodandevilinthisworld,andhehastobepartoffightingthewrongs.Bilbohasachoiceatthispoint,tocontinuetoobservethestatusquoortohaveanadventurewhichwillmakehimahero.Itisadifferencebetweenthestatusquoasspiritualdeath,andthetranscendentadventurewhichislife.It’sachoiceeachoneofyouisbeingcalledtomake.

34

UnsedUced Unshakenand

dIscUssIOn QUesTIOns

1. Whatisyourconceptofdignity?Howhasitchangedafterread-ingthischapter?

2. Whodoyoufinddignifiedandwhy?Bespecific.

3. HowdoyouseedignityasacomponentofChristianity?

4. Formabookclubandreadoneorbothofthenovelsmentionedinthischapterwithaviewtoformingaphilosophyofdignifiedwomanhood.

sUggesTed ReadIng

• FICTION:Jane EyrebyCharlotteBrontëorPride and PrejudicebyJaneAusten.Chooseunabridgededitions.

• NONFICTION:Biographies/autobiographiesofwomeninmis-sionarywork;womeninChristianity.(SeeBiographical Diction-ary of Christian Missions,editedbyGeraldH.Anderson.)