CONFLICT AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Rick Henke Manager Twelve25 Youth Enterprise Centre

City of Salisbury

Rotarian, Past President and Assistant Governor GP4 Rotary Club of Salisbury

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Have you thought about conflict today?

Conflict occurs everywhere

in our homes,

in our communities,

between neighbors

on the sports field

on Facebook

between friends

between states,

between countries, and

in the workplace Name some

So what is conflict?

There are many definitions but the one I like is

Conflict is any situation in which your concerns or

desires differ from those of the other person

Team exercise

In your teams brainstorm answers to the following four big questions (15 minutes of music)

Why does war begin? (in big picture terms)

Why does conflict stop?

Where do we learn (and from whom) about conflict resolution?

Is conflict a genetic and / or learned response?

Quote

Forgiveness is not an occasional act,

it is a constant attitude

Martin Luther-King

Healthy vs Damaging

HEALTHY CONFLICT DAMAGING CONFLICT

Disagreements that are communicated in a supportive environment that foster the generation of new ideas or ways to problem solve.

Tension that increases awareness or sheds light on a growing problem.

Name Calling. Personal Attacks. Silent and Withdrawn,

afraid to speak up Cliques, gossip and

rumors. Lack of Mutual Respect Physical violence War.

Quote

“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and

deepening it.

That factor is attitude”

- William James

Values

Something in which you have belief

Something that helps guide your life decision making

Values are a product of your environment

Values walk

Three broad reasons for conflict

Personal or relational conflicts are usually about identity or self-image, or important aspects of a relationship such as loyalty, breach of confidence, perceived betrayal or lack of respect. Impacted by a persons values.

Instrumental conflicts are about goals, structures, procedures and means: something fairly tangible and structural within the organisation or for an individual.

Conflicts of interest concern the ways in which the means of achieving goals are distributed, such as time, money, space and staff. They may also be about factors related to these, such as relative importance, or knowledge and expertise.

So lets take our knowledge forward

Sometimes our ego or perception of self worth cause conflict

Play video VLC

Conflict resolution style

Play video VLC

Play video MP4

Whats your normal style? (B&S test)

Methods of resolving

Compete / fight – unilateral decision making (ie military command)

Collaborate – team input (ie work team)

Compromise – looking for that win : win mid-point

Denial / Avoiding – making a decision to take no action

Smooth over / Accommodating – allowing the other side to take a win. (ie Mum)

Where do we learn (and from whom) about conflict

resolution?

Conflict resolution is a learned skill

Family

Schools

Community

Your family example?

Personal reflection 10mins

Think of a recent conflict you have been involved in.

(Family, Facebook, Work, etc)

What was the conflict?

What was the underlying cause of the conflict?

Was this a new conflict or something ongoing?

Which style did you use to respond? How did others respond?

Write your answers down

Active listening Role play

Scenario :

Bill and Ben have been working together for 4 years in a bakery.

Over that time Bill has been doing the financial accounts and Ben has been the ‘ideas man’ focusing on doing the work.

They have just received an unexpected refund of $20,000 to the business, Bill wants to use it to pay off all the debt but Ben thinks it’s a massive opportunity to try and grow the business with a new coffee shop.

What to do with the $20,000 has become a major source of conflict.

Active Listening – High EQ

Keys to active listening:-

• Listen politely

• Ask questions for clarification

• Repeat what was said in your own words

• Summarise

• Acknowledge speakers point of view and feelings

• Positive Non-verbals

Practice

Working through conflict - strategies

• Role of the third person

• Speakers stick

• Seating - circle.

6 Steps to conflict resolution

1. Clarify what the disagreement is about

2. Establish a common goal

3. Discuss ways that could be used to meet the common goal

4. Determine barriers

5. Agree on best way to resolve conflict

6. Acknowledge and record the agreed solution and determine responsibilities

Thoughts from the experts – on ted.com

Lets go to the balcony

Play video MP4

Reference http://www.ted.com/talks/william_ury?language=en

Thank you Presentation is available at

What does Rotary do around preventing conflict and creating

peace?