CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker

CONFLICT RESOLUTIONfor the lead worker

Paris BoehmDoug D. Whittle

Whittle Consulting Group, LLC

Conflict Resolution

Today’s objectives:

Review types & sources

of workplaceconflict

Examinedifferent ways

to address& resolveconflict

Applyconflict

resolutionmodels &

approachesthrough practice

At the endof the day…

To betterknow & understandyourself and others

in order to improve youryour skills in managing

& resolving conflict

• There is no silver bullet

• One size does not fit all

• Managing your behaviors and

reactions…both a skill and an art

• Practice makes perfect

Truths

• You can not control others

• You can control yourself

• You accept responsibility for your actions,

reactions, decisions, and emotions

• You share responsibility for the success

of your team

You must agree…

Power?Authority?

Whenyou

thinkyou are

powerful,you are.

Whenothersthinkyou arepowerful,you are.

8. Lead & Make It Happen

7. Find Solutions

6. “Own It”

5. Acknowledge Reality

4. Wait & Hope

3. “I can’t” - Excuses

2. Blame Others

1. Unaware / Unconscious

powerless

POWERFUL

?Do you take risks

What’s the risk of acting?– What do you risk if you address the conflict?

What’s the risk of NOT acting?– What do you risk if you DON’T address the conflict?

If you do or if you don’t…either way, it’s risky business

If you always dowhat you’ve always done,

you will always getwhat you’ve always got.

Fire

Aim

Ready

Fire

Aim

Ready

When

conflictgets out of hand…

Speak when you are angry…

and you will make

the best speech

you will

ever regret.

Ambrose Bierce

ModelsTools&

NoYES DesiredState

CurrentState

CurrentState

DesiredState

NoYES DesiredState

ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE

Time involved(Short) (Long)

GROUP BEHAVIOR

INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIORS

Diff

icul

ty(L

ow)

(Hig

h)

INDIVIDUAL ATTITUDES

KNOWLEDGE

Benefitsof managing conflict

• Better motivated staff• Staff energies directed toward work, not

emotions• More positive image of organization, team• Improved teamwork• Better personal development of individuals

2

Benefitsof managing conflict

• More, better ideas• Increased creativity & innovation• Increased self-respect• Increased synergy

2

Drawbacksof ignoring conflict

• Lower morale• Climate of mistrust, suspicion, hostility created• Escalation & spread of conflict to others• Dissipation of staff energy• Misdirection of staff energy• Reduced productivity• Misperception that inaction is the easiest option—the

problem will ultimately be harder to solve

2

5waysto deal withconflict

Accommodation

Avoidance Competition

Compromise

Collaboration

2

Avoidance•Withdraw•Deny

2

Accommodation•Minimizes, suppresses differences•Maintains surface harmony•Can result in feelings of powerlessness, frustration

2

Competition

•Focuses on defeating other side

2

Compromise•Each party gives up something•Trade-offs•Multiple options, solutions•Use to build consensus 2

Collaboration

•Experience, expertise, perceptions of both parties recognized & valued•Alternatives discussed openly•Decisions made in broader context: What’s best for team, department, company 2

Conflict Management ProcessRecognize that a conflict exists

Monitor the climate Examine, summarize the situation

Plan your approach Address the issue

Involve & engage the stakeholders Identify a forward path

Appraise, don’t dwell

1.2.

3.4.

5.6.

7.8. 3

Conflict Management process

Recognize that a conflict exists1.

3

•Overt vs. covert•Visible vs. hidden•Obvious vs. subtle

TripTRIGGERmy

3

Conflict management process

Monitor the climate2.

•Keep eyes open•Don’t ignore•Early warning system

3

To monitor conflict…• Know yourself

• Know others

• Adapt and Connect

• Do unto others as THEY would be done unto

questioningdeliberate

precise

formal

strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdetermined

caringpatientsharing

encouraging

dynamicsociable

persuasiveenthusiastic

Who areYOU?

questioningdeliberate

precise

formal

strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdetermined

caringpatientsharing

encouraging

dynamicsociable


Who isHE/SHE?


Examine, summarize the situation3.

•WHAT is the actual issue?•WHAT is the root cause?•WHAT are potential and actual impacts?•Avoid snap judgments.•Be empathetic

3

CONFLICT = STRESS

Demonstrated Behaviors

questioningdeliberatecautiousprecise

formal

strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdeterminedpurposeful

caringpatientsharingrelaxedencouraging

sociabledynamic


demonstrative

…on a bad day

suspiciousindecisivereservedstuffycold

overbearingaggressivecontrollingintolerant

driving

blanddocilereliantstubbornplodding

hastyfrantic

excitableindiscreet

flamboyant

Stress Causepoor quality, time wasted, lack of structure

time out, fast action, place in controlStress Remedy

First Response

impatient

aggressive

irritable

demanding

Flipped Out

withdrawn

helpless

offended

misunderstood

Stress Causerejection, restricted flexibility, no fun

save face, outside the box, distractionStress Remedy

First Response

hasty

scream

indiscretion

throw things

Flipped Out

ice cold

mission to kill

no emotion

detached

Stress Causevalue violation, interruptions, unfair treatment

sincerity, personal contact, trust restorationStress Remedy

First Response

self doubt

hurt feelings

rumination

stubborn

Flipped Out

very critical

vicious

destructive

nasty

Stress Causelack of focus, indecisiveness, out of control

information, build a path forward, analysisStress Remedy

First Response

withdraw

split hairs

hesitate

go quietly

Flipped Out

lose control

cry

get loud

get emotional


Plan your approach4.

3

•Build climate of open exchange•Avoid taking sides•Identify preferred outcome(s)•Build your BATNA•Build your strategy

Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat

Diplomacyis the art

of letting someone else

haveyour way.

Best

Alternative

To a

Negotiated

Agreement

4

LiveWith

ContentWith

AspireTo

BATNA


Address the issue5.

4

•Maintain control•Consider a time out•Take time to consider all points of view•Listen & hear

critical elements of

communications

Talking PointsTiming

Channels

2-3Talking Points

SettingLevel of formality

PreparationProcess time

Decision & commitment

Timing

Oral: In personOral: Distance

ElectronicPrint

Grapevine

Channels

Peopledon’t resist change…

…they resistbeing changed

Edgar Schein

RESISTANCE

I don’tgetit!

Idon’tlikeit!

Idon’tlikeyou!

Reasons for

BarriersOthers

See

Barriers to agreement

Not their ideaFear of losing faceToo much too fast

Unmet interest

4

RESISTANCE

Helping others through

• Involve the other side– Ask for and build on their

ideas

• Ask for constructive criticism– How might we...?

• Offer choices and alternatives

Not my Idea!

4

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Walk in their shoes

– Would I agree to this if I were them?

– Why? Why not?

• Review basic human needs– Look for intangible motivations

that drive their behavior

• Look for low cost, high benefit trades

• If-then bargains

Unmet interests

4

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Help them back away

without backing down

• Show how circumstances

have changed

• Ask for third-party

recommendation

• Provide testimonials

• Share credit

• Give them the limelight

Fear oflosing face

4

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Go slow to go fast• Pilot project• Don’t ask for final

commitment until

the end• Don’t rush to the

finish• Caution: avoid

verbal contracts

Too much,too fast

4

Denial

Resistance Exploration

Commitment

Anger Checking Out

QUITand

LEAVE

QUITand

STAY

QUIT!

Two ways to


Involve and engage stakeholders6.

4

•Recognize all parties’ alternatives•Emphasize communication•Work to improve relationships•Be nondiscriminatory and compatible with organization’s preferred practices•Generate a lasting commitment to the solution

! It’s all about

stakeholders

• Anyone with a vested interest in the outcome of your mission & initiatives

• Interest groups to whom your organization is accountable

You have more than one!

STAKEHOLDERS

Identifying the needs

Who’s who?

What doI need

from them?

Whatdo they

need fromme?

Whoare my

key stakeholders?

Wheredo they

currentlystand?

Mapping your stakeholders

Who’s who?

Whodo they

influence?

Whoinfluences

them?

CCoachoachinging

Unlockinga person’s potential

to maximize their own performance

COACHINGHelping people to learn

rather than teaching them

Coaching focuseson future

possibilitiesnot

past mistakes

COACHING

Principles of

A skillful coachrarely providesor prescribes

solutions

It may be harder to giveup instructing

than it isto learnto coach

Perhaps the hardest thing a coach has to

learn is to

SHUT UP!

Questions for effective coaching

RG

OW

OALS

EALITY

PTIONS

ILL

What do you want?

What is happening now?

What could you do?

What will you do?

7


Identify a forward path7.

4

•Examine options•Explore compromise•Identify acceptable path forward•Obtain commitment from all parties•ARCI

IC

RA ccountable

esponsible

onsult

nform


Appraise, don’t dwell8.

4

•Post-mortem•Lessons learned•Continuous improvement


Appraisal questions to ask8.

4

•What did you gain or lose for now?•What will you gain or lose in the future?•What did the other person gain or lose?•What will the other person gain or lose in the future?•How do you feel about this outcome?•What would you do differently the next time?

Conduct autopsies,without blame.

Good to Great p77

Stop

Continue

Start8

Withwhom

do I need tobuild strong

relationships?

With whom do I need to

minimizeassociation?

PARTNERSHIPS

RELATIONSHIPS

Office Politics for the Utterly Confused (Salmon & Salmon)

Saying thanksis one of the simplest

ways tobuild relationships

wordswisdom

of

C.W. Metcalf

Know when

uncomfortable becomes unbearable

Don’t burn bridges

(even when you are tempted)

Save energy for

the battles that count

Take yourself lightlyand your job seriously

Understand that you are notthe center of the universe

Overcome terminal professionalism

Expect the best

Find absurdity in adversity

Do something for the fun of it

Paris Boehm, Associate

[email protected]

HITTLE CONSULTIN

G GROUP

www.Whittl

eConsultin

gGroup.com

THANK YOU!!!

CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker

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