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Conflict ResolutionSocial Health

Skill #1

Think Win-Win If you care about what they want, you’ll get a lot

more of what you want COMPROMISE!

What’s a Win for you? What’s a win for them?

Skill #2

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Listen first, then talk Our tendency: talk first, then pretend to listen

Act like a mirror It reflects It doesn’t argue back Repeat in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling

“So, you’re saying that…” “You feel _______ about ________.”

Skill #3

Synergize Talk it through Try to find a

solution that works for both of you

Synergize Action Plan

1. Define the problem or opportunity2. Seek first to understand the ideas of

others3. Seek to be understood by sharing

your ideas4. Brainstorm: Create new options and

ideas5. Find the best solution

Let’s Practice

You want to go out on Saturday night with your friends, but your parents want you to stay home with the family because you have been out the last 3 weekends in a row, and your grandparents are there from out of town to visit.

Disarming the other person

DROP YOUR SWORD! Apologize Bite your tongue Seek first to understand by repeating in

your own words what they are saying and feeling

Two Classic Blunders

Getting in the last word Sometimes its best to leave the situation for a little

bit and return once you have your emotions in check “I hate you”

Can’t take it back Most of the time you regret saying it afterwards, but

you never regret NOT saying it

Conflict Resolution at School

Bullying: STOP IT on the spot! It starts with YOU

Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help Be more than a bystander

Don’t give bullying an audience Help them get away Tell a trusted adult Be their friend Set a good example

Conflict Management Steps

1. Understand 3. Act2. Negotiate 4. Reflect

Understand

Understand the problems or needs that caused the conflict

See the two sides or viewpoints

See the whole problem and how their behavior

contributed to it Think of possible

consequences if the conflict continues

Negotiate

Win-win solution As soon as one party is “winning”, both are

loosing.

Reflect

What did I learn from this situation?Could I have handled it in a better way?What would I do differently next time?

So what should I do???

GET OUT OF THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! Do:

Seek outside help: parents, trusted adults, administration, etc.

Don’t: Go to break up with them alone Meet them in a private place Underestimate what they are capable of Continue to think, “They will change”