Clarissa Volume 5

7/31/2019 Clarissa Volume 5

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/clarissa-volume-5 1/204

CLARISSAHARLOWE

orthe

HISTORYOFAYOUNGLADY

NineVolumes

VolumeV.

CONTENTSOFVOLUMEV

LETTERI.LovelacetoBelford.--Anagreeableairingwiththelady.Delightfullyeasyshe.Obsequiouslyrespectfulhe.MissHowe'splotnownolongerhisterror.Givestheparticularsoftheiragreeableconversationwhileabroad.

LETTERII.Fromthesame.--Anaccountofhisipecacuanhaplot.InstructsDorcashowtoactsurpriseandterror.Monosyllablesandtrisyllablestowhatlikened.Politenesslivesnotinastorm.Proclamationcriers.Theladynowseessheloves

him.Hergeneroustendernessforhim.Hehasnowcreditforanewscore.DefiesMrs.Townsend.

LETTERIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--AcknowledgedtendernessforLovelace.Loveforamanoferrorspunishable.

LETTERIV.LovelacetoBelford.--SuspiciousinquiryafterhimandtheladybyaservantinliveryfromoneCaptainTomlinson.Herterrorsontheoccasion.Hisalarmingmanagement.Sheresolvesnottostirabroad.Heexultsuponhernotbeingwillingtoleavehim.

LETTERV.VI.Fromthesame.--ArrivalofCaptainTomlinson,withapretendedcommissionfromMr.JohnHarlowetosetonfoodageneralreconciliation,providedhecanbeconvincedthattheyareactuallymarried.Differentconversationsonthisoccasion.--TheladyinsiststhatthetruthbetoldtoTomlinson.Shecarriesherpointthroughtothedisappointmentofoneofhisprivateviews.Heformsgreathopesofsuccessfromtheeffectsofhisipecacuanhacontrivance.

LETTERVII.LovelacetoBelford.--HemakessuchafairrepresentationtoTomlinsonofthesituationbetweenhimandthelady,behavessoplausibly,andmakesanoverturesogenerous,thatsheisallkindnessandunreservedtohim.Heraffecting

exultationonheramendedprospects.Hisunusualsensibilityuponit.Reflectiononthegoodeffectsofeducation.Prideanexcellentsubstitutetovirtue.

LETTERVIII.Fromthesame.--WhoTomlinsonis.AgainmakesBelfordobject,inordertoexplainhisdesignsbyansweringtheobjections.JohnHarloweaslysinner.Hard-heartedreasonsforgivingtheladyagleamofjoy.Illustratedbyastoryoftwosovereignsatwar.



ExtractsfromClarissa'slettertoMissHowe.Sherejoicesinherpresentagreeableprospects.AttributesmuchtoMr.Hickman.DescribesCaptainTomlinson.GivesacharacterofLovelace,[whichisnecessarytobeattendedto:especiallybythosewhohavethoughtfavourablyofhimforsomeofhisliberalactions,andhardlyofherforthedistancesheatfirstkepthimat.]

LETTERIX.LovelacetoBelford.--LetterfromLordM.Hisfurtherartsandprecautions.Hishappydaypromisedtobesoon.Hisopinionoftheclergy,andofgoingtochurch.Shepitieseverybodywhowantspity.Loveseverybody.Heownsheshouldbethehappiestofmen,couldhegetoverhisprejudicesagainstmatrimony.Draughtsofsettlements.Ludicrouslyaccountsforthereasonwhysherefusestohearthemreadtoher.Lawandgospeltwodifferentthings.Sallyflingsherhandkerchiefinhisface.

LETTERX.Fromthesame.--Hasmadetheladymorethanoncelookabouther.Sheownsthatheismorethanindifferenttoher.Checkshimwithsweetnessoftemperforhisencroachingfreedoms.Herproofoftruelove.Heridiculesmarriagepurity.Severelyreflectsuponpublicfreedomsbetweenmenandtheirwives.Advantageheoncemadeuponsuchanoccasion.Hasbeenafteralicense.Difficultyinprocuringone.Greatfaultsandgreatvirtuesofteninthesameperson.Heiswillingtobelievethatwomenhaveno

souls.Hiswhimsicalreasons.LETTERXI.LovelacetoBelford.--Almostdespairsofsucceeding(ashehadhoped)byloveandgentleness.Praiseshermodesty.Hisencroachingfreedomsresentedbyher.Thewoman,heobserves,whoresentsnotinitiatoryfreedoms,mustbelost.Hereasons,inhisfreeway,uponherdelicacy.ArtoftheEasternmonarchs.

LETTERXII.Fromthesame.--AletterfromCaptainTomlinsonmakesallup.HeruncleHarlowe'spretendedproposalbigwithartandplausibledelusion.Sheacquiescesinit.HewritestothepretendedTomlinson,onanaffectinghintof

her's,requestingthatheruncleHarlowewould,inperson,givehisniecetohim;orpermitTomlinsontobehisproxyontheoccasion.--Andnowforalittleofmine,hesays,whichhehasreadytospring.

LETTERXIII.BelfordtoLovelace.--Againearnestlyexpostulateswithhiminthelady'sfavour.Remembersandapplaudsthepartsheboreintheconversationathiscollation.Thefrothywitoflibertineshowdespicable.Censuresthefolly,theweakness,thegrossness,theunpermanencyofsensuallove.Callssomeofhiscontrivancestrite,stale,andpoor.Beseecheshimtoremoveherfromthevilehouse.HowmanydreadfulstoriescouldthehorridSinclairtellthesex!Seriousreflectionsonthedyingstateofhisuncle.

LETTERXIV.LovelacetoBelford.--Cannotyetprocurealicense.Hassecuredaretreat,ifnotvictory.Defendsinangerthesimplicityofhisinventivecontrivances.Entersuponhisgeneraldefence,comparedwiththeprinciplesandpracticesofotherlibertines.Heroesandwarlikekingsworsementhanhe.Epitomeofhisandthelady'sstoryaftertenyears'cohabitation.Cautiontothosewhowouldcensurehim.Hadthesexmadevirtuearecommendationtotheirfavour,hesays,heshouldhavehadagreaterregardtohismoralsthanhehashad.



LETTERXV.Fromthesame.--Preparativetohislittlemine,ashecallsit.Lovestowritetothemoment.Alarmbegins.Affectedlyterrified.

LETTERXVI.Fromthesame.--Theladyfrightedoutofherbedbydreadfulcriesoffire.Sheaweshimintodecency.Onanextortedpromiseofforgiveness,heleavesher.Repenting,hereturns;butfindsherdoorfastened.Whatatriumphhashersexobtainedbyhervirtue!Buthowwillsheseehimnextmorning,ashehasgivenher.

LETTERXVII.LovelacetoBelford.--DialoguewithClarissa,thedoorbetweenthem.Herlettertohim.Shewillnotseehimforaweek.

LETTERXVIII.Fromthesame.--Copiesoflettersthatpassbetweenthem.Goestothecommonstotrytogetthelicense.Sheshallseehim,hedeclares,onhisreturn.Loveandcompassionhardtobeseparated.Herfluctuatingreasonsontheirpresentsituation.Isjealousofhersuperiorqualities.Doesjusticetoherimmovablevirtue.

LETTERXIX.Fromthesame.--Theladyescaped.Hisrage.Makesasolemnvowofrevenge,ifoncemore

hegetsherintohispower.HismanWill.isgoneinsearchofher.Hishopes;onwhatgrounded.Hewilladvertiseher.Describesherdress.Letterleftbehindher.Accusesher(thatistosay,LOVELACEaccusesher,)ofniceness,prudery,affectation.

LETTERXX.Fromthesame.--AletterfromMissHowetoClarissafallsintohishands;which,haditcometoher's,wouldhavelaidopenanddetectedallhisdesigns.InitsheacquitsClarissaofprudery,coquetry,andunduereserve.Admires,applauds,blessesherfortheexampleshehassetforhersex,andforthecreditshehasdoneit,byherconductinthemostdifficultsituations.

[ThislettermaybeconsideredasakindofsummaryofClarissa'strials,herpersecutions,andexemplaryconducthitherto;andofMr.Lovelace'sintrigues,plots,andviews,sofarasMissHowecouldbesupposedtoknowthem,ortoguessatthem.]

AletterfromLovelace,whichfarthershowsthefertilityofhiscontrivinggenius.

LETTERXXI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--InformsherofLovelace'svillany,andofherescape.Heronlyconcern,what.Thecoursesheintendstopursue.

LETTERXXII.LovelacetoBelford.--

Exultsonhearing,fromhismanWill.,thattheladyhasrefugedherselfatHampstead.Observationsinastyleoflevityonsomepassagesinthelettersheleftbehindher.IntimatesthatTomlinsonisarrivedtoaidhispurposes.Thechariotiscome;andnow,dressedlikeabridegroom,attendedbyafootmansheneversaw,heisalready,hesays,atHampstead.

LETTERXXIII.XXIV.LovelacetoBelford.--Exultsonhiscontrivances.--Bywhatmeanshegetsintothelady'spresenceatMrs.Moore's.Herterrors,fits,exclamations.His



plausibletalestoMrs.MooreandMissRawlins.Hisintrepidbehaviourtothelady.CopiesoflettersfromTomlinson,andofpretendedonesfromhisownrelations,calculatedtopacifyanddeludeher.

LETTERXXV.XXVI.Fromthesame.--Hisfartherarts,inventions,andintrepidity.Sheputshomequestionstohim.'Ungenerousandungratefulshecallshim.Heknowsnotthevalueofthehearthehadinsulted.Hehadaplainpathbeforehim,afterhehadtrickedheroutofherfather'shouse!Butthatnowhermindwasraisedabovefortune,andabovehim.'Hisprecautionarycontrivances.

LETTERXXVII.XXVIII.XXX.XXXI.XXXII.Fromthesame.--CharacterofwidowBevis.PrepossessesthewomenagainstMissHowe.Leadsthemtothinksheisinlovewithhim.Apthimselftothinkso;andwhy.Womenlikenotnovices;andwhy.Theirvulgaraphorismanimadvertedon.Tomlinsonarrives.Artfulconversationbetweenthem.MissRawlins'sprudery.HisforgedletterinimitationofMissHowe's,No.IV.Othercontrivancestodeludethelady,andattachthewomentohisparty.

LETTERXXXIII.XXXIV.XXXV.XXXVI.Fromthesame.--Particularsofseveralinterestingconversationsbetweenhimself,

Tomlinson,andthelady.Artfulmanagementofthetwoformer.Hernoblespirit.HetellsTomlinsonbeforeherthatheneverhadanyproofofaffectionfromher.Shefranklyownstheregardsheoncehadforhim.'Hehadbroughther,'shetellsTomlinsonandhim,'morethanoncetoownittohim.Nordidhisownvanity,shewassure,permithimtodoubtofit.Hehadkepthersoulinsuspenseanhundredtimes.'Bothmenaffectedinturnbyhernoblebehaviour,andgreatsentiments.Theirpleas,prayers,prostrations,tomovehertorelent.Herdistress.

THEHISTORY

OF

CLARISSAHARLOWE

LETTERI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAYEVENING.

Justreturnedfromanairingwithmycharmer,compliedwithaftergreatimportunity.Shewasattendedbythetwonymphs.Theybothtopttheirparts;kepttheireyeswithinbounds;mademoralreflectionsnow-and-then.OJack!whatdevilsarewomen,whenalltestsaregotover,andwehavecompletelyruinedthem!

ThecoachcarriedustoHampstead,toHighgate,toMuswell-hill;backtoHampsteadtotheUpper-Flask:there,incomplimenttothenymphs,mybelovedconsentedtoalight,andtakealittlerepast.ThenhomeearlybyKentish-town.



Delightfullyeasyshe,andsorespectfulandobligingI,alltheway,andaswewalkedoutupontheheath,toviewthevariegatedprospectswhichthatagreeableelevationaffords,thatshepromisedtotakenow-and-thenalittleexcursionwithme.Ithink,MissHowe,Ithink,saidItomyself,everynow-and-thenaswewalked,thatthywickeddevicesaresuperceded.

Butletmegivetheeafewparticularsofourconversationinthecircumrotationwetook,whileinthecoach--ShehadreceivedaletterfromMissHoweyesterday,Ipresumed?

Shemadenoanswer.HowhappyshouldIthinkmyselftobeadmittedintotheircorrespondence?Iwouldjoyfullymakeanexchangeofcommunications.

So,thoughIhopednottosucceedbyherconsent,[andlittledidshethinkIhadsohappilyinpartsucceededwithoutit,]Ithoughtitnotamisstourgeforit,forseveralreasons:amongothers,thatImightaccounttoherformyconstantemploymentatmypen;inordertotakeoffherjealousy,thatshewasthesubjectofthycorrespondenceandmine:andthatImightjustifymysecrecyanduncommunicativenessbyherown.

Iproceededtherefore--ThatIlovedfamiliar-letter-writing,asIhad

morethanoncetoldher,aboveallthespeciesofwriting:itwaswritingfromtheheart,(withoutthefettersprescribedbymethodorstudy,)astheverywordcor-respondenceimplied.Nottheheartonly;thesoulwasinit.Nothingofbody,whenfriendwritestofriend;themindimpellingsovereignlythevassal-fingers.Itwas,inshort,friendshiprecorded;friendshipgivenunderhandandseal;demonstratingthatthepartieswereundernoapprehensionofchangingfromtimeoraccident,whentheysoliberallygavetestimonies,whichwouldalwaysbeready,onfailureorinfidelity,tobeturnedagainstthem.--Formyownpart,itwastheprincipaldiversionIhadinherabsence;butforthisinnocentamusement,thedistanceshesofrequentlykeptmeatwouldhavebeenintolerable.

Sallyknewmydrift;andsaid,Shehadhadthehonourtoseetwoorthreeofmyletters,andofMr.Belford's;andshethoughtthemthemostentertainingthatshehadeverread.

MyfriendBelford,Isaid,hadahappytalentintheletter-writingway;anduponallsubjects.

Iexpectedmybelovedwouldhavebeeninquisitiveafteroursubject:but(lyingperdue,asIsaw)notawordsaidshe.SoItoucheduponthisarticlemyself.

Ourtopicswerevariousanddiffuse:sometimesuponliteraryarticles[shewasveryattentiveuponthis];sometimesuponthepublic

entertainments;sometimesamusingeachotherwiththefruitsofthedifferentcorrespondenciesweheldwithpersonsabroad,withwhomwehadcontractedfriendships;sometimesuponthefoiblesandperfectionsofourparticularfriends;sometimesuponourownpresentandfuturehopes;sometimesaimingathumourandrailleryuponeachother.--Itmightindeedappeartosavourofvanity,tosupposemyletterswouldentertainaladyofherdelicacyandjudgment:butyetIcouldnotbutsay,thatperhapsshewouldbefarfromthinkingsohardlyofmeassometimesshehadseemedtodo,ifsheweretoseetheletterswhichgenerallypassedbetweenMr.Belfordandme[Ihope,Jack,thouhastmoremanners,thanto



givemethelie,thoughbutinthyheart].

Shethenspoke:afterdecliningmycomplimentinsuchamanner,asonlyapersoncando,whodeservedit,shesaid,Forherpart,shehadalwaysthoughtmeamanofsense[amanofsense,Jack!Whataniggardlypraise!],--andshouldthereforehope,that,whenIwrote,itexceededevenmyspeech:forthatitwasimpossible,betheletterswritteninaseasyandfamiliarastyleastheywould,butthattheymusthavethatadvantagefromsittingdowntowritethemwhichpromptspeechcouldnotalwayshave.Sheshouldthinkitverystrangetherefore,ifmyletterswerebarrenofsentiment;andasstrange,ifIgavemyselflibertiesuponpremeditation,whichcouldhavenoexcuseatall,butfromathoughtlessness,whichitselfwantedexcuse.--ButifMr.Belford'slettersandminewereuponsubjectssogeneral,andsomeofthemequally(shepresumed)instructiveandentertaining,shecouldnotbutsay,thatsheshouldbegladtoseeanyofthem;andparticularlythosewhichMissMartinhadseenandpraised.

Thiswasputclose.

Ilookedather,toseeifIcoulddiscoveranytinctureofjealousyinthishint;thatMissMartinhadseenwhatIhadnotshowntoher.Butshedidnotlookit:soIonlysaid,Ishouldbeveryproudtoshowhernotonlythose,butallthatpassedbetweenMr.Belfordandme;butI

mustremindher,thatsheknewthecondition.No,indeed!withasweetlippoutedout,assaucyaspretty;implyingalovelyscorn,thatyetcanonlybelovelyinyouthsoblooming,andbeautysodivinelydistinguished.

HowIlongtoseesuchamotionagain!Hermouthonlycangiveit.

ButIammadwithlove--yeteternalwillbethedistance,attherateIgoon:nowfire,nowice,mysouliscontinuallyuponthehiss,asImaysay.Invain,however,isthetrialtoquench--what,afterall,isunquenchable.

Pr'ythee,Belford,forgivemynonsense,andmyVulcan-likemetaphors--DidInottellthee,notthatIamsickoflove,butthatIammadwithit?WhybroughtIsuchanangelintosuchahouse?intosuchcompany?--AndwhydoInotstopmyearstothesirens,who,knowingmyaversiontowedlock,areperpetuallytouchingthatstring?

Iwasnotwillingtobeansweredsoeasily:Iwassure,thatwhatpassedbetweentwosuchyoungladies(friendssodear)mightbeseenbyeverybody:IhadmorereasonthananybodytowishtoseethelettersthatpassedbetweenherandMissHowe;becauseIwassuretheymustbefullofadmirableinstruction,andoneofthedearcorrespondentshaddeignedtowishmyentirereformation.

Shelookedatmeasifshewouldlookmethrough:IthoughtIfelteye-beam,aftereye-beam,penetratemyshiveringreins.--Butshewassilent.Norneededhereyestheassistanceofspeech.

Nevertheless,alittlerecoveringmyself,IhopedthatnothingunhappyhadbefalleneitherMissHoweorhermother.Theletterofyesterdaysentbyaparticularhand:sheopeningitwithgreatemotion--seemingtohaveexpecteditsooner--werethereasonsformyapprehensions.

WewerethenatMuswell-hill:aprettycountrywithintheeye,toPolly,



wastheremark,insteadofreplyingtome.

ButIwasnotsotobeanswered--Ishouldexpectsomecharmingsubjectsandcharactersfromtwosuchpens:IhopedeverythingwentonwellbetweenMr.HickmanandMissHowe.Hermother'sheart,Isaid,wassetuponthatmatch:Mr.Hickmanwasnotwithouthismerits:hewaswhattheladiescalledaSOBERman:butImustneedssay,thatIthoughtMissHowedeservedahusbandofaverydifferentcast!

This,Isupposed,wouldhaveengagedherintoasubjectfromwhichIcouldhavewiredrawnsomething:--forHickmanisoneofherfavourites--why,Ican'tdivine,exceptforthesakeofoppositionofcharactertothatofthyhonestfriend.

Butshecutmeshortbyalookofdisapprobation,andanothercoolremarkuponadistantview;and,Howfaroff,MissHorton,doyouthinkthatclumpoftreesmaybe?pointingoutofthecoach.--SoIhaddone.

HereendethallIhavetowriteconcerningourconversationonthisouragreeableairing.

Wehavebothbeenwritingeversincewecamehome.Iamtobefavouredwithhercompanyforanhour,beforesheretirestorest.

Allthatobsequiouslovecansuggest,inordertoengagehertenderestsentimentsformeagainsttomorrow'ssickness,willIaimatwhenwemeet.Butatpartingwillcomplainofadisorderinmystomach.

***

Wehavemet.Allwasloveandunexceptionablerespectonmypart.Easeandcomplaisanceonher's.Shewasconcernedformydisorder.Sosudden!--Justasweparted!Butitwasnothing.Ishouldbequitewellbythemorning.

Faith,Jack,IthinkIamsickalready.Isitpossibleforsuchagiddyfellowasmetopersuademyselftobeill!IamabettermimicatthisratethanIwishtobe.Buteverynerveandfibreofmeisalwaysreadytocontributeitsaid,whetherbyhealthorbyailment,tocarryaresolved-onrogueryintoexecution.

DorcashastranscribedformethewholeletterofMissHowe,datedSunday,May14,*ofwhichbeforeIhadonlyextracts.Shefoundnootherletteraddedtothatparcel:butthis,andthatwhichIcopiedmyselfincharacterlastSundaywhilstshewasatchurch,relatingtothesmugglingscheme,**areenoughforme.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXIX.**Ibid.LetterXLII.

***

Dorcastellsme,thatherladyhasbeenremovingherpapersfromthemahoganychestintoawainscotbox,whichheldherlinen,andwhichsheputintoherdarkcloset.Wehavenokeyofthatatpresent.Nodoubt



butallherletters,previoustothoseIhavecomeat,areinthatbox.Dorcasisuneasyuponit:yethopesthatherladydoesnotsuspecther;forsheissurethatshelaidineverythingasshefoundit.

LETTERII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.COCOA-TREE,SATURDAY,MAY27.

Thisipecacuanhaisamostdisagreeablemedicine.Thatthesecursedphysicalfolkscanfindoutnothingtodousgood,butwhatwouldpoisonthedevil!Intheotherworld,weretheyonlytotakephysic,itwouldbepunishableenoughofitselfforamis-spentlife.Adoctoratoneelbow,andanapothecaryattheother,andthepoorsoullabouringundertheirprescribedoperations,heneednoworsetormentors.

Butnowthiswastotakedownmycountenance.Ithasdoneit:for,withviolentreachings,havingtakenenoughtomakemesick,andnotenoughwatertocarryitoff,IpresentlylookedasifIhadkeptmybedafortnight.Illjesting,asIthoughtinthemidstoftheexercise,withedgetools,andworsewithphysicalones.

Twohoursitheldme.IhadforbidDorcastoletherladyknowanythingofthematter;outoftendernesstoher;beingwilling,whensheknewmyprohibition,toletherseethatIexpectedhertobeconcernedforme.--

Well,butDorcaswasneverthelessawoman,andshecanwhispertoherladythesecretsheisenjoinedtokeep!

Comehither,toad,[sickasthedevilattheinstant];letmeseewhatamixtureofgriefandsurprizemaybebeatuptogetherinthypuden-face.

Thatwon'tdo.Thatdroptjaw,andmouthdistendedintothelongoval,ismoreuponthehorriblethanthegrievous.

Northatpinkingandwinkingwiththyodiouseyes,asmycharmeroncecalledthem.

Alittlebetterthat;yetnotquiteright:butkeepyourmouthcloser.Youhaveamuscleortwowhichyouhavenocommandof,betweenyourcheek-boneandyourlips,thatshouldcarryonecornerofyourmouthuptowardsyourcrow's-foot,andthatdowntomeetit.

There!Begone!Beinaplaguyhurryrunningupstairanddown,tofetchfromthedining-roomwhatyoucarryuponpurposetofetch,tillmotionextraordinaryputyououtofbreath,andgiveyouthesighnatural.

What'sthematter,Dorcas?

Nothing,Madam.

Mybelovedwondersshehasnotseenmethismorning,nodoubt;butistooshytosayshewonders.RepeatedWhat'sthematter,however,asDorcasrunsupanddownstairsbyherdoor,bringon,OMadam!mymaster!mypoormaster!

What!How!When!--andallthemonosyllablesofsurprize.



[Withinparenthesesletmetellthee,thatIhaveoftenthought,thatthelittlewordsintherepublicofletters,likethelittlefolksinanation,arethemostsignificant.Thetrisyllables,andtherumblersofsyllablesmorethanthree,arebutthegood-for-littlemagnates.]

Imustnottellyou,Madam--Mymasterorderedmenottotellyou--butheisinaworsewaythanhethinksfor!--Buthewouldnothaveyoufrighted.

Highconcerntookpossessionofeverysweetfeature.Shepitiedme!--bymysoul,shepitiedme!

Whereishe?

Toomuchinahurryforgoodmanners,[anotherparenthesis,Jack!Goodmannersaresolittlenatural,thatweoughttobecomposedtoobservethem:politenesswillnotliveinastorm].Icannotstaytoanswerquestions,criesthewench--thoughdesiroustoanswer[athirdparenthesis--Likethepeoplecryingproclamations,runningawayfromthecustomerstheywanttosellto].Thishurryputstheladyinahurrytoask,[afourth,bywayofestablishingthethird!]astheotherdoesthepeopleinahurrytobuy.AndIhaveinmyeyenowawholestreetraised,andrunningafteraproclamationorexpress-crier,asifthefirstwasathief,theotherhispursuers.

Atlast,OLord!letMrs.Lovelaceknow!--Thereisdanger,tobesure!whisperedfromonenymphtoanother;butatthedoor,andsoloud,thatmylisteningfair-onemighthear.

Outshedarts--Ashow!ashow,Dorcas!

OMadam--Avomitingofblood!Avesselbroke,tobesure!

Downshehastens;findseveryoneasbusyovermybloodintheentry,asifitwerethatoftheNeapolitansaint.

Instepsmycharmer,withafaceofsweetconcern.

Howdoyou,Mr.Lovelace?

Omybestlove!--Verywell!--Verywell!--Nothingatall!nothingofconsequence!--Ishallbewellinaninstant!--Strainingagain!forIwasindeedplaguysick,thoughnomorebloodcame.

Inshort,Belford,Ihavegainedmyend.Iseethedearsoullovesme.Iseesheforgivesmeallthat'spast.IseeIhavecreditforanewscore.

MissHowe,Idefythee,mydear--Mrs.Townsend!--Whothedevilareyou?--Troopawaywithyourcontrabands.Nosmuggling!norsmuggler,but

myself!Norwillthechoicestofmyfair-one'sfavoursbelongprohibitedgoodstome!

***

Everyoneisnowsurethatshelovesme.Tearswereinhereyesmorethanonceforme.Shesufferedmetotakeherhand,andkissitasoftenasIpleased.OnMrs.Sinclair'smentioning,thatItoomuchconfined



myself,shepressedmetotakeanairing;butobliginglydesiredmetobecarefulofmyself.WishedIwouldadvisewithaphysician.Godmadephysicians,shesaid.

Ididnotthinkthat,Jack.Godindeedmadeusall.ButIfancyshemeantphysicinsteadofphysicians;andthenthephrasemightmeanwhatthevulgarphrasemeans;--Godsendsmeat,theDevilcooks.

Iwaswellalready,ontakingthestypticfromherdearhands.

Onherrequiringmetotaketheair,Iasked,IfImighthavethehonourofhercompanyinacoach;andthis,thatImightobserveifshehadanintentionofgoingoutinmyabsence.

Ifshethoughtachairwerenotamorepropervehicleformycase,shewouldwithallherheart!

There'saprecious!

Ikissedherhandagain!Shewasallgoodness!--WouldtoHeavenIbetterdeservedit,Isaid!--Butallweregoldendaysbeforeus!--Herpresenceandgenerousconcernhaddoneeverything.Iwaswell!Nothingailedme.Butsincemybelovedwillhaveitso,I'lltakealittleairing!--Letachairbecalled!--Omycharmer!wereItohaveownedthis

indispositiontomylateharasses,andtotheuneasinessIhavehadfordisobligingyou;allisinfinitelycompensatedbyyourgoodness.--Alltheartofhealingisinyoursmiles!--Yourlatedispleasurewastheonlymalady!

WhileMrs.Sinclair,andDorcas,andPolly,andevenpoorsillyMabell[forSallywentout,asmyangelcamein]withupliftedhandsandeyes,stoodthankingHeaventhatIwasbetter,inaudiblewhispers:Seethepoweroflove,criedone!--Whatacharminghusband,another!--Happycouple,all!

Ohowthedearcreature'scheekmantled!--Howhereyessparkled!--Howsweetlyacceptableispraisetoconsciousmerit,whileitbutreproaches

whenappliedtotheundeserving!--Whatanew,whatagaycreationitmakesallatonceinadiffidentordispiritedheart!

Andnow,Belford,wasitnotworthwhiletobesick?AndyetImusttellthee,thattoomanypleasanterexpedientsofferthemselves,tomaketrialanymoreofthisconfoundedipecacuanha.

LETTERIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESATURDAY,MAY27.

Mr.Lovelace,mydear,hasbeenveryill.Suddenlytaken.Withavomitingofbloodingreatquantities.Somevesselbroken.Hecomplainedofadisorderinhisstomachovernight.Iwastheaffectedwithit,asIamafraiditwasoccasionedbytheviolentcontentionsbetweenus.--ButwasIinfault?

HowlatelydidIthinkIhatedhim!--Buthatredandanger,Isee,arebuttemporarypassionswithme.Onecannot,mydear,hatepeopleindanger



ofdeath,orwhoareindistressoraffliction.Myheart,Ifind,isnotproofagainstkindness,andacknowledgementsoferrorscommitted.

Hetookgreatcaretohavehisillnessconcealedfrommeaslongashecould.Sotenderintheviolenceofhisdisorder!--Sodesiroustomakethebestofit!--Iwishhehadnotbeenillinmysight.Iwastoomuchaffected--everybodyalarmingmewithhisdanger.Thepoorman,fromsuchhighhealth,sosuddenlytaken!--andsounprepared!--

Heisgoneoutinachair.Iadvisedhimtodoso.Ifearthatmyadvicewaswrong;sincequietinsuchadisordermustneedsbebest.Weareapttobesoready,incasesofemergency,togiveouradvice,withoutjudgment,orwaitingforit!--Iproposedaphysicianindeed;buthewouldnothearofone.Ihavegreathonourforthefaculty;andthegreater,asIhavealwaysobservedthatthosewhotreattheprofessorsoftheartofhealingcontemptuously,toogenerallytreathigherinstitutionsinthesamemanner.

Iamreallyveryuneasy.ForIhave,Idoubt,exposedmyselftohim,andtothewomenbelow.Theyindeedwillexcuseme,astheythinkusmarried.Butifhebenotgenerous,Ishallhavecausetoregretthissurprise;which(asIhadreasontothinkmyselfunaccountablytreatedbyhim)hastaughtmemorethanIknewofmyself.

'Tistrue,Ihaveownedmorethanonce,thatIcouldhavelikedMr.Lovelaceaboveallmen.IrememberthedebatesyouandIusedtohaveonthissubject,whenIwasyourhappyguest.Youusedtosay,andonceyouwrote,*thatmenofhiscastarethementhatoursexdonotnaturallydislike:WhileIheld,thatsuchwerenot(howeverthatmightbe)themenweoughttolike.Butwhatwithmyrelationsprecipitatingofme,ononehand,andwhatwithhisunhappycharacter,andembarrassingways,ontheother,Ihadnomoreleisurethaninclinationtoexaminemyownheartinthisparticular.Andthisremindsmeofatranscribe,thoughitwaswritteninraillery.'Mayitnotbe,'sayyou,**'thatyouhavehadsuchpersonstodealwith,ashavenotallowedyoutoattendtothethrobs;orifyouhadthemalittlenow-and-then,whether,havinghadtwoaccountstoplacethemto,youhavenotbymistakeputthemtothewrongone?'A

passage,which,althoughitcameintomymindwhenMr.Lovelacewasleastexceptionable,yetthatIhavedeniedanyefficacyto,whenhehasteasedandvexedme,andgivenmecauseofsuspicion.For,afterall,mydear,Mr.Lovelaceisnotwiseinallhisways.Andshouldwenotendeavour,asmuchasispossible,(wherewearenotattachedbynaturalties,)tolikeanddislikeasreasonbidsus,andaccordingtothemeritordemeritoftheobject?Iflove,asitiscalled,isallowedtobeanexcuseforourmostunreasonablefollies,andtolaylevelallthefencesthatacarefuleducationhassurroundedusby,whatismeantbythedoctrineofsubduingourpassions?--But,Omydearestfriend,amInotguiltyofapunishablefault,wereItolovethismanoferrors?Andhasnotmyownheartdeceivedme,whenIthoughtIdidnot?Andwhatmustbethatlove,thathasnotsomedegreeofpurityforitsobject?Iamafraidof

recollectingsomepassagesinmycousinMorden'sletter.***--AndyetwhyflyIfromsubjectsthat,dulyconsidered,mighttendtocorrectandpurifymyheart?Ihavecarried,Idoubt,mynotionsonthisheadtoohigh,notforpractice,butformypractice.Yetthinkmenotguiltyofpruderyneither;forhadIfoundoutasmuchofmyselfbefore;or,rather,hadhegivenmeheart'seaseenoughbeforetofinditout,youshouldhavehadmyconfessionsooner.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXXIV.



**SeeVol.I.LetterXII.***SeeVol.IV.LetterXIX,&seq.

Nevertheless,letmetellyou(whatIhopeImayjustlytellyou,)thatifagainhegivemecausetoresumedistanceandreserve,Ihopemyreasonwillgatherstrengthenoughfromhisimperfectionstoenablemetokeepmypassionsunder.--Whatcanwedomorethangovernourselvesbythetemporarylightslentus?

YouwillnotwonderthatIamgraveonthisdetection--Detection,mustIcallit?WhatcanIcallit?--

Dissatisfiedwithmyself,IamafraidtolookbackuponwhatIhavewritten:yetknownothowtohavedonewriting.Ineverwasinsuchanoddframeofmind.--Iknownothowtodescribeit.--Wasyoueverso?--Afraidofthecensureofheryoulove--yetnotconsciousthatyoudeserveit?

Ofthis,however,Iamconvinced,thatIshouldindeeddeservecensure,ifIkeptanysecretofmyheartfromyou.

ButIwillnotaddanotherword,afterIhaveassuredyou,thatIwilllookstillmorenarrowlyintomyself:andthatIam

YourequallysincereandaffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERIV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SAT.EVENING.

Ihadacharmingairing.Noreturnofmymalady.Myheartwasperfectly

easy,howcouldmystomachbeotherwise?

ButwhenIcamehome,Ifoundthatmysweetsoulhadbeenalarmedbyanewincident--Theinquiryafterusboth,inaverysuspiciousmanner,andthatbydescriptionofourpersons,andnotbynames,byaservantinablueliveryturn'dupandtrimm'dwithyellow.

Dorcaswascalledtohim,astheupperservant;andsherefusingtoansweranyofthefellow'squestions,unlesshetoldhisbusiness,andfromwhomhecame,thefellow(asshortasshe)said,thatifshewouldnotanswerhim,perhapsshemightanswersomebodyelse;andwentawayoutofhumour.

DorcashurrieduptoherLady,andalarmedher,notonlywiththefact,butwithherownconjectures;adding,thathewasanill-lookingfellow,andshewassurecouldcomefornogood.

Theliveryandthefeaturesoftheservantwereparticularlyinquiredafter,andasparticularlydescribed--Lordblessher!noendofheralarms,shethought!Andthendidherapprehensionsanticipateeveryevilthatcouldhappen.

ShewishedMr.Lovelacewouldcomein.



Mr.Lovelacecameinsoonafter;alllively,grateful,fullofhopes,ofduty,oflove,tothankhischarmer,andtocongratulatewithheruponthecureshehadperformed.Andthenshetoldthestory,withallitscircumstances;andDorcas,topointherlady'sfears,toldus,thattheservantwasasun-burntfellow,andlookedasifhehadbeenatsea.

Hewasthen,nodoubt,CaptainSingleton'sservant,andthenextnewssheshouldhear,was,thatthehousewassurroundedbyawholeship'screw;thevessellyingnofartheroff,assheunderstood,thanRotherhithe.

Impossible,Isaid.Suchanattemptwouldnotbeusheredinbysuchamannerofinquiry.AndwhymayitnotratherbeaservantofyourcousinMorden,withnoticeofhisarrival,andofhisdesigntoattendyou?

Thissurmisedelightedher.Herapprehensionswentoff,andshewasatleisuretocongratulatemeuponmysuddenrecovery;whichshedidinthemostobligingmanner.

Butwehadnotsatlongtogether,whenDorcasagaincameflutteringuptotellus,thatthefootman,theveryfootman,wasagainatthedoor,andinquired,whetherMr.Lovelaceandhislady,byname,hadnotlodgingsinthishouse?Heasked,hetoldDorcas,fornoharm.Buthisdisavowingofharm,wasademonstrationwithmyapprehensivefair-one,thatharmwas

intended.AndasthefellowhadnotbeenansweredbyDorcas,Iproposedtogodowntothestreet-parlour,andhearwhathehadtosay.

Iseeyourcauselessterror,mydearestlife,saidI,andyourimpatience--Willyoubepleasedtowalkdown--and,withoutbeingobserved,(forheshallcomenofartherthantheparlour-door,)youmayhearallthatpasses?

Sheconsented.Wewentdown.Dorcasbidthemancomeforward.Well,friend,whatisyourbusinesswithMr.andMrs.Lovelace?

Bowing,scraping,Iamsureyouarethegentleman,Sir.Why,Sir,mybusinessisonlytoknowifyourhonourbehere,andtobespokenwith;

orifyoushallbehereforanytime?

Whomcameyoufrom?

Fromagentlemanwhoorderedmetosay,ifIwasmadetotell,butnotelse,itwasfromafriendofMr.JohnHarlowe,Mrs.Lovelace'seldestuncle.

Thedearcreaturewasreadytosinkuponthis.Itwasbutoflatethatshehadprovidedherselfwithsalts.Shepulledthemout.

DoyouknowanythingofColonelMorden,friend?saidI.

No;Ineverheardofhisname.

OfCaptainSingleton?

No,Sir.Butthegentleman,mymaster,isaCaptaintoo.

Whatishisname?

Idon'tknowifIshouldtell.



Therecanbenoharmintellingthegentleman'sname,ifyoucomeuponagoodaccount.

ThatIdo;formymastertoldmeso;andthereisnotanhonestergentlemanonthefaceofGod'syearth.--HisnameisCaptainTomlinson,Sir.

Idon'tknowsuchaone.

Ibelievenot,Sir.Hewaspleasedtosay,hedon'tknowyourhonor,Sir;butIheardhimsayashowheshouldnotbeanunwelcomevisitertoyouforallthat.

DoyouknowsuchamanasCaptainTomlinson,mydearestlife,[aside,]youruncle'sfriend?

No;butmyunclemayhaveacquaintance,nodoubt,thatIdon'tknow.--ButIhope[trembling]thisisnotatrick.

Well,friend,ifyourmasterhasanythingtosaytoMr.Lovelace,youmaytellhim,thatMr.Lovelaceishere;andwillseehimwheneverhepleases.

Thedearcreaturelookedasifafraidthatmyengagementwastooprompt

formyownsafety;andawaywentthefellow--Iwondering,thatshemightnotwonder,thatthisCaptainTomlinson,whoeverhewere,camenothimself,orsentnotaletterthesecondtime,whenhehadreasontosupposethatImightbehere.

Meantime,forfearthatthisshouldbeacontrivanceofJamesHarlowe,who,Isaid,loveplotting,thoughhehadnotaheadturnedforit,Igavesomeprecautionarydirectionstotheservants,andthewomen,whom,forthegreaterparade,Iassembledbeforeus,andmybelovedwasresolvednottostirabroadtillshesawtheissueofthisoddaffair.

AndheremustIclose,thoughinsogreatapuzzle.

Onlyletmeadd,thatpoorBeltonwantsthee;forIdarenotstirformylife.

MowbrayandTourvilleskulkaboutlikevagabonds,withoutheads,withouthands,withoutsouls;havingneitheryounormetoconductthem.Theytellme,theyshallrustbeyondthepowerofoiloractiontobrightenthemup,orgivethemmotion.

Howgoesitwiththyuncle?

LETTERV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SUNDAY,MAY28.

ThisstoryofCaptainTomlinsonemployedusnotonlyforthetimeweweretogetherlastnight,butallthewhilewesatatbreakfastthismorning.ShewouldstillhaveitthatitwasthepreludetosomemischieffromSingleton.Iinsisted(accordingtomyformerhint)thatitmightmuchmoreprobablybeamethodtakenbyColonelMordentoalarmher,previous



toapersonalvisit.Travelledgentlemenaffectedtosurpriseinthismanner.Andwhy,dearestcreature,saidI,musteverythingthathappens,whichwecannotimmediatelyaccountfor,bewhatweleastwish?

Shehadhadsomanydisagreeablethingsbefallheroflate,thatherfearsweretoooftenstrongerthanherhopes.

Andthis,Madam,makesmeapprehensive,thatyouwillgetintosolow-spiritedaway,thatyouwillnotbeabletoenjoythehappinessthatseemstoawaitus.

Herdutyandhergratitude,shegravelysaid,totheDispenserofallgood,wouldsecureher,shehoped,againstunthankfulness.Andathankfulspiritwasthesameasajoyfulone.

So,Belford,forallherfuturejoysshedependsentirelyupontheinvisibleGood.Sheiscertainlyright;sincethosewhofixleastuponsecondcausesaretheleastlikelytobedisappointed--Andisnotthisgravityforhergravity?

Shehadhardlydonespeaking,whenDorcascamerunningupinahurry--shesetevenmyheartintoapalpitation--thump,thump,thump,likeaprecipitatedpenduluminaclock-case--flutter,flutter,flutter,mycharmer's,asbyhersweetbosomrisingtoherchinIsaw.

Thislowerclassofpeople,mybelovedherselfobserved,wereforeveraimingatthestupidwonderful,andformakingevencommonincidentsmatterofsurprise.

Whythedevil,saidItothewench,thisalarminghurry?--Andwithyourspreadfingers,andyourOMadams,andOSirs!--andbecursedtoyou!Wouldtherehavebeenasecondoftimedifference,hadyoucomeupslowly?

CaptainTomlinson,Sir!

CaptainDevilson,whatcareI?--Doyouseehowyouhavedisorderedyour

lady?

GoodMr.Lovelace,saidmycharmer,trembling[see,Jack,whenshehasanendtoserve,IamgoodMr.Lovelace,]if--ifmybrother,--ifCaptainSingletonshouldappear--praynow--Ibeseechyou--letmebegofyou--togovernyourtemper--Mybrotherismybrother--CaptainSingletonisbutanagent.

Mydearestlife,foldingmyarmsabouther,[whensheasksfavours,thoughtI,thedevil'sinit,ifshewillnotallowsuchaninnocentfreedomasthis,fromgoodMr.Lovelacetoo,]youshallbewitnessofallpassesbetweenus.--Dorcas,desirethegentlemantowalkup.

Letmeretiretomychamberfirst!--Letmenotbeknowntobeinthehouse!

Charmingdear!--Thouseest,Belford,sheisafraidofleavingme!--Othelittlewitchcrafts!Wereitnotforsurprisesnow-and-then,howwouldanhonestmanknowwheretohavethem?

Shewithdrewtolisten.--AndthoughthisincidenthasnotturnedouttoanswerallIwishedfromit,yetisitnotnecessary,ifIwouldacquainttheewithmywholecirculation,tobeveryparticularinwhatpassed



betweenCaptainTomlinsonandme.

EnterCaptainTomlinson,inariding-dress,whipinhand.

Yourservant,Sir,--Mr.Lovelace,Ipresume?

MynameisLovelace,Sir.

Excusetheday,Sir.--Bepleasedtoexcusemygarb.Iamobligedtogooutoftowndirectly,thatImayreturnatnight.

Thedayisagoodday.Yourgarbneedsnoapology.

WhenIsentmyservant,IdidnotknowthatIshouldfindtimetodomyselfthishonour.AllthatIthoughtIcoulddotoobligemyfriendthisjourney,wasonlytoassuremyselfofyourabode;andwhethertherewasaprobabilityofbeingadmittedtothespeechofeitheryou,oryourlady.

Sir,youbestknowyourownmotives.Whatyourtimewillpermityoutodo,youalsobestknow.AndhereIam,attendingyourpleasure.

Mycharmerownedafterwardsherconcernonmybeingsoshort.WhateverIshallmingleofheremotions,thouwilteasilyguessIhadafterwards.

Sir,Ihopenooffence.Iintendnone.

None--Noneatall,Sir.

Sir,IhavenointerestintheaffairIcomeabout.Imayappearofficious;andifIthoughtIshould,Iwoulddeclineanyconcerninit,afterIhavejusthintedwhatitis.

Andpray,Sir,whatisit?

MayIaskyou,Sir,withoutoffence,whetheryouwishtobereconciled,andtoco-operateuponhonourableterms,withonegentlemanofthenameofHarlowe;preparative,asitmaybehoped,toageneralreconciliation?

Ohowmyheartfluttered!criedmycharmer.

Ican'ttell,Sir--[andthenitflutteredstillmore,nodoubt:]Thewholefamilyhaveusedmeextremelyill.Theyhavetakengreaterlibertieswithmycharacterthanarejustifiable;andwithmyfamilytoo;whichIcanlessforgive.

Sir,Sir,Ihavedone.Ibegpardonforthisintrusion.

Mybelovedwasthenreadytosink,andthoughtveryhardlyofme.

But,pray,Sir,totheimmediatepurposeofyourpresentcommission;sinceacommissionitseemstobe?

Itisacommission,Sir;andsuchaone,asIthoughtwouldbeagreeabletoallparties,orIshouldnothavegivenmyselfconcernaboutit.

Perhapsitmay,Sir,whenknown.Butletmeaskyouonepreviousquestion--DoyouknowColonelMorden,Sir?



No,Sir.Ifyoumeanpersonally,Idonot.ButIhaveheardmygoodfriendMr.JohnHarlowetalkofhimwithgreatrespect;andsuchaco-trusteewithhiminacertaintrust.

Lovel.Ithoughtitprobable,Sir,thattheColonelmightbearrived;thatyoumightbeagentlemanofhisacquaintance;andthatsomethingofanagreeablesurprisemightbeintended.

Capt.HadColonelMordenbeeninEngland,Mr.JohnHarlowewouldhaveknownit;andthenIshouldnothavebeenastrangertoit.

Lovel.Wellbut,Sir,haveyouthenanycommissiontomefromMr.JohnHarlowe?

Capt.Sir,Iwilltellyou,asbrieflyasIcan,thewholeofwhatIhavetosay;butyou'llexcusemealsoinapreviousquestion,forwhatcuriosityisnotmymotive;butitisnecessarytobeansweredbeforeIcanproceed;asyouwilljudgewhenyouhearit.

Lovel.What,pray,Sir,isyourquestion?

Capt.Briefly,whetheryouareactually,andbonÃ¢fide,marriedtoMissClarissaHarlowe?

Istarted,and,inahaughtytone,isthis,Sir,aquestionthatmustbeansweredbeforeyoucanproceedinthebusinessyouhaveundertaken?

Imeannooffence,Mr.Lovelace.Mr.Harlowesoughttometoundertakethisoffice.Ihavedaughtersandniecesofmyown.Ithoughtitagoodoffice,orI,whohavemanyconsiderableaffairsuponmyhands,hadnotacceptedofit.Iknowtheworld;andwilltakethelibertytosay,thatiftheyounglady--

CaptainTomlinson,Ithinkyouarecalled?

MynameisTomlinson.

Whythen,Tomlinson,noliberty,asyoucallit,willbetakenwell,thatisnotextremelydelicate,whenthatladyismentioned.

Whenyouhadheardmeout,Mr.Lovelace,andhadfoundIhadsobehaved,astomakethecautionnecessary,itwouldhavebeenjusttohavegivenit.--Allowmetosay,Iknowwhatisduetothecharacterofawomanofvirtue,aswellasanymanalive.

Why,Sir!Why,CaptainTomlinson,youseemwarm.Ifyouintendanythingbythis,[OhowItrembled!saidthelady,whenshetooknoticeofthispartofourconversationafterwards,]Iwillonlysay,thatthisisaprivilegedplace.Itisatpresentmyhome,andanasylumforany

gentlemanwhothinksitworthhiswhiletoinquireafterme,bethemannerorendofhisinquirywhatitwill.

Iknownot,Sir,thatIhavegivenoccasionforthis.Imakenoscrupletoattendyouelsewhere,ifIamtroublesomehere.Iwastold,Ihadawarmyounggentlemantodealwith:butasIknewmyintention,andthatmycommissionwasanamicableone,Iwasthelessconcernedaboutthat.Iamtwiceyourage,Mr.Lovelace,Idaresay:butIdoassureyou,thatifeithermymessageormymannergivesyouoffence,Icansuspendtheoneortheotherforaday,orforever,asyoulike.Andso,Sir,any



timebeforeeighttomorrowmorning,youwillletmeknowyourfurthercommands.--Andwasgoingtotellmewherehemightbefound.

CaptainTomlinson,saidI,youanswerwell.Iloveamanofspirit.Haveyounotbeeninthearmy?

Ihave,Sir;buthaveturnedmyswordintoaploughshare,asthescripturehasit,--[therewasacleverfellow,Jack!--hewasagoodmanwithsomebody,Iwarrant!Owhatafinecoatandclokeforanhypocritewillatextofscripture,properlyapplied,makeatanytimeintheeyesofthepious!--howeasilyarethegoodfolkstakenin!]--andallmydelight,addedhe,forsomeyearspast,hasbeenincultivatingmypaternalestate.Iloveabraveman,Mr.Lovelace,aswellaseverIdidinmylife.Butletmetellyou,Sir,thatwhenyoucometomytimeoflife,youwillbeofopinion,thatthereisnotsomuchtruebraveryinyouthfulcholer,asyoumaynowthinkthereis.

Acleverfellowagain,Belford!--Earandheart,bothatonce,hetookinmycharmer!--'Tiswell,shesays,therearesomemenwhohavewisdomintheiranger.

Well,Captain,thatisreproofforreproof.Soweareuponafooting.Andnowgivemethepleasureofhearingtheimportofyourcommission.

Sir,youmustfirstallowmetorepeatmyquestion:Areyoureally,andbonÃ¢fide,marriedtoMissClarissaHarlowe?orareyounotyetmarried?

Bluntlyput,Captain.ButifIanswerthatIam,whatthen?

Whythen,Sir,Ishallsay,thatyouareamanofhonour.

ThatIhopeIam,whetheryousayitornot,CaptainTomlinson.

Sir,IwillbeveryfrankinallIhavetosayonthissubject--Mr.JohnHarlowehaslatelyfoundout,thatyouandhisniecearebothinthesamelodgings;thatyouhavebeenlongso;andthattheladywasattheplaywithyouyesterdaywasse'nnight;andhehopesthatyouareactually

married.Hehasindeedheardthatyouare;butasheknowsyourenterprisingtemper,andthatyouhavedeclared,thatyoudisdainarelationtotheirfamily,heiswillingbymetohaveyourmarriageconfirmedfromyourownmouth,beforehetakethestepsheisinclinedtotakeinhisniece'sfavour.Youwillallowmetosay,Mr.Lovelace,thathewillnotbesatisfiedwithananswerthatadmitsoftheleastdoubt.

Letmetellyou,CaptainTomlinson,thatitisahighdegreeofvilenessforanymantosuppose--

Sir--Mr.Lovelace--don'tputyourselfintoapassion.Thelady'srelationsarejealousofthehonouroftheirfamily.Theyhaveprejudicestoovercomeaswellasyou--advantagemayhavebeentaken--and

thelady,atthetime,nottoblame.

Thislady,Sir,couldgivenosuchadvantages:andifshehad,whatmustthemanbe,CaptainTomlinson,whocouldhavetakenthem?--Doyouknowthelady,Sir?

Ineverhadthehonourtoseeherbutonce;andthatwasatachurch;andshouldnotknowheragain.

Notknowheragain,Sir!--Ithoughttherewasnotamanlivingwhohad



onceseenher,andwouldnotknowheramongathousand.

Iremember,Sir,thatIthoughtIneversawafinerwomaninmylife.But,Mr.Lovelace,Ibelieve,youwillallow,thatitisbetterthatherrelationsshouldhavewrongedyou,thanyouthelady,Ihope,Sir,youwillpermitmetorepeatmyquestion.

EnterDorcas,inahurry.

Agentleman,thisminute,Sir,desirestospeakwithyourhonour--[Mylady,Sir!--Aside.]

CouldthedearcreatureputDorcasupontellingthisfib,yetwanttosavemeone?

Desirethegentlemantowalkintooneoftheparlours.Iwillwaituponhimpresently.

[ExitDorcas.

Thedearcreature,Idoubtednot,wantedtoinstructmehowtoanswertheCaptain'shomeput.IknewhowIintendedtoanswerit--plumb,thou

may'stbesure--butDorcas'smessagestaggeredme.AndyetIwasupononeofmymaster-strokes--whichwas,totakeadvantageofthecaptain'sinquiries,andtomakeherownhermarriagebeforehim,asshehaddonetothepeoplebelow;andifshehadbeenbroughttothat,toinduceher,forheruncle'ssatisfaction,towritehimaletterofgratitude;whichofcoursemusthavebeensignedClarissaLovelace.Iwasloth,therefore,thoumay'stbelieve,toattendhersuddencommands:andyet,afraidofpushingmattersbeyondrecoverywithher,Ithoughtpropertoleadhimfromthequestion,toaccountforhimselfandforMr.Harlowe'scomingtotheknowledgeofwhereweare;andforotherparticularswhichIknewwouldengageherattention;andwhichmightpossiblyconvinceherofthenecessitytherewasforhertoacquiesceintheaffirmativeIwasdisposedtogive.Andthisforherownsake;Forwhat,asIaskedher

afterwards,isittome,whetherIameverreconciledtoherfamily?--Afamily,Jack,whichImustforeverdespise.

Youthink,Captain,thatIhaveanswereddoubtfullytothequestionyouput.Youmaythinkso.Andyoumustknow,thatIhaveagooddealofpride;and,onlythatyouareagentleman,andseeminthisaffairtobegovernedbygenerousmotives,orIshouldillbrookbeinginterrogatedastomyhonourtoaladysodeartome.--ButbeforeIanswermoredirectlytothepoint,praysatisfymeinaquestionortwothatIshallputtoyou.

Withallmyheart,Sir.Askmewhatquestionsyouplease,Iwillanswerthemwithsincerityandcandour.

Yousay,Mr.Harlowehasfoundoutthatwewereataplaytogether:andthatwewerebothinthesamelodgings--How,pray,cameheathisknowledge?--for,letmetellyou,thatIhave,forcertainconsiderations,(notrespectingmyself,Iwillassureyou,)condescendedthatourabodeshouldbekeptsecret.Andthishasbeensostrictlyobserved,thatevenMissHowe,thoughsheandmybelovedcorrespond,knowsnotdirectlywheretosendtous.

Why,Sir,thepersonwhosawyouattheplay,wasatenantofMr.John



Harlowe.Hewatchedallyourmotions.Whentheplaywasdone,hefollowedyourcoachtoyourlodgings.Andearlythenextday,Sunday,hetookhorse,andacquaintedhislandlordwithwhathehadobserved.

Lovel.Howoddlythingscomeabout!--ButdoesanyotheroftheHarlowesknowwhereweare?

Capt.Itisanabsolutesecrettoeveryotherpersonofthefamily;andsoitisintendedtobekept:asalsothatMr.JohnHarloweiswillingtoenterintotreatywithyou,byme,ifhisniecebeactuallymarried;forperhapsheisaware,thatheshallhavedifficultyenoughwithsomepeopletobringaboutthedesirablereconciliation,althoughhecouldgivethemthisassurance.

Idoubtitnot,Captain--toJamesHarloweisallthefamilyfollyowing.Finefools![heroicallystalkingabout]tobegovernedbyonetowhommaliceandnotgenius,givesthebusylivelinessthatdistinguisheshimfromanatural!--Buthowlong,pray,Sir,hasMr.JohnHarlowebeeninthispacificdisposition?

Iwilltellyou,Mr.Lovelace,andtheoccasion;andbeveryexplicituponit,anduponallthatconcernsyoutoknowofme,andofthecommissionIhaveundertakentoexecute;andthistherather,aswhenyouhaveheardmeout,youwillbesatisfied,thatIamnotanofficious

maninthismypresentaddresstoyou.Iamallattention,CaptainTomlinson.

AndsoIdoubtnotwasmybeloved.

Capt.'Youmustknow,Sir,thatIhavenotbeenmanymonthsinMr.JohnHarlwe'sneighbourhood.IremovedfromNorthamptonshire,partlyforthesakeofbettermanagingoneoftwoexecutorship,whichIcouldnotavoidengagingin,(theaffairsofwhichfrequentlycallmetotown,andarepartofmypresentbusiness;)andpartlyforthesakeofoccupyinganeglectedfarm,whichhaslatelyfallenintomyhands.Butthoughanacquaintanceofnolongerstanding,andthatcommencingonthebowling-

green,[uncleJohnisagreatbowler,Belford,](uponmydecisionofapointtoeveryone'ssatisfaction,whichwasappealedtomebyallthegentlemen,andwhichmighthavebeenattendedwithbadconsequences,)notwobrothershaveamorecordialesteemforeachother.Youknow,Mr.Lovelace,thatthereisaconsent,asImaycallit,insomeminds,whichwillunitethemstrongertogetherinafewhours,thanyearscandowithothers,whomyetweseenotwithdisgust.'

Lovel.Verytrue,Captain.

Capt.'Itwasonthefootofthisavowedfriendshiponbothsides,thatonMondaythe15th,asIverywellremember,Mr.Harloweinvitedhimselfhomewithme.Andwhenthere,heacquaintedmewiththewholeofthe

unhappyaffairthathadmadethemallsouneasy.TillthenIknewitonlybyreport;for,intimateaswewere,Iforboretospeakofwhatwassonearhisheart,tillhebeganfirst.Andthenhetoldme,thathehadhadanapplicationmadetohim,twoorthreedaysbefore,byagentlemanwhomhenamed,*toinducehimnotonlytobereconciledhimselftohisniece,buttoforwardforherageneralreconciliation.

*SeeVol.IV.LettersXXIIIandXXIX.



'Alikeapplication,hetoldme,hadbeenmadetohissisterHarlowe,byagoodwoman,whomeverybodyrespected;whohadintimated,thathisniece,ifencouraged,wouldagainputherselfintotheprotectionofherfriends,andleaveyou:butifnot,thatshemustunavoidablybeyour's.'

Ihope,Mr.Lovelace,Imakenomischief.--Youlookconcerned--yousigh,Sir.

Proceed,CaptainTomlinson.Prayproceed.--AndIsighedstillmoreprofoundly.

Capt.'Theyallthoughtitextremelyparticular,thataladyshoulddeclinemarriagewithamanshehadsolatelygoneawaywith.'

Pray,Captain--pray,Mr.Tomlinson--nomoreofthissubject.Mybelovedisanangel.Ineverythingunblamable.Whateverfaultstherehavebeen,havebeentheirsandmine.Whatyouwouldfurthersay,is,thattheunforgivingfamilyrejectedherapplication.Theydid.SheandIhadamisunderstanding.Thefallingoutoflovers--youknow,Captain.--Wehavebeenhappiereversince.

Capt.'Well,Sir;butMr.JohnHarlowecouldnotbutbetterconsiderthematterafterwards.Andhedesiredmyadvicehowtoactinit.He

toldmethatnofathereverlovedadaughterashelovedthisnieceofhis;whom,indeed,heusedtocallhisdaughter-niece.Hesaid,shehadreallybeenunkindlytreatedbyherbrotherandsister:andasyouralliance,Sir,wasfarfrombeingadiscredittotheirfamily,hewoulddohisendeavourtoreconcileallparties,ifhecouldbesurethatyewereactuallymanandwife.'

Lovel.Andwhat,pray,Captain,wasyouradvice?

Capt.'Igaveitasmyopinion,thatifhisniecewereunworthilytreated,andindistress,(asheapprehendedfromtheapplicationtohim,)hewouldsoonhearofheragain:butthatitwaslikely,thatthisapplicationwasmadewithoutexpectingitwouldsucceed;andasasalvo

only,toherself,formarryingwithouttheirconsent.AndtheratherthoughtIso,ashehadtoldme,thatitcamefromayoungladyherfriend,andnotinadirectwayfromherself;whichyoungladywasnofavouriteofthefamily;andthereforewouldhardlyhavebeenemployed,hadsuccessbeenexpected.'

Lovel.Verywell,CaptainTomlinson--prayproceed.

Capt.'HerethematterrestedtilllastSundayevening,whenMr.JohnHarlowecametomewiththemanwhohadseenyouandyourlady(asIpresumesheis)attheplay;andwhohadassuredhim,thatyoubothlodgedinthesamehouse.--Andthentheapplicationhavingbeensolatelymade,whichimpliedthatyouwerenotthenmarried,hewassouneasyfor

hisniece'shonour,thatIadvisedhimtodispatchtotownsomeoneinwhomhecouldconfide,tomakeproperinquiries.'

Lovel.Verywell,Captain--Andwassuchapersonemployedonsuchanerrandbyheruncle?

Capt.'Atrustyanddiscreetpersonwasaccordinglysent;andlastTuesday,Ithinkitwas,(forhereturnedtousontheWednesday,)hemadetheinquiriesamongtheneighboursfirst.'[Theveryinquiry,Jack,thatgaveusallsomuchuneasiness.*]'Butfindingthatnoneofthem



couldgiveanysatisfactoryaccount,thelady'swomanwascomeat,whodeclared,thatyouwereactuallymarried.Buttheinquiristkeepinghimselfonthereserveastohisemployers,thegirlrefusedtotelltheday,ortogivehimotherparticulars.'

*SeeVol.IV.LetterL.

Lovel.Yougiveaveryclearaccountofeverything,CaptainTomlinson.Prayproceed.

Capt.'Thegentlemanreturned;and,onhisreport,Mr.Harlowe,havingstilldoubts,andbeingwillingtoproceedonsomegroundsinsoimportantapoint,besoughtme(asmyaffairscalledmefrequentlytotown)toundertakethismatter."You,Mr.Tomlinson,hewaspleasedtosay,havechildrenofyourown:youknowtheworld:youknowwhatIdriveat:youwillproceed,Iamsure,withunderstandingandspirit:andwhateveryouaresatisfiedwithshallsatisfyme."'

EnterDorcasagaininahurry.

Sir,thegentlemanisimpatient.

Iwillattendhimpresently.

TheCaptainthenaccountedforhisnotcallinginperson,whenhehadreasontothinkushere.

Hesaidhehadbusinessofconsequenceafewmilesoutoftown,whitherhethoughthemusthavegoneyesterday,andhavingbeenobligedtoputoffhislittlejourneytillthisday,andunderstandingthatwewerewithin,notknowingwhetherheshouldhavesuchanotheropportunity,hewaswillingtotryhisgoodfortunebeforehesetout;andthismadehimcomebootedandspurred,asIsawhim.

Hedroppedahintincommendationofthepeopleofthehouse;butitwasinsuchaway,astogivenoroomtosuspectthathethoughtitnecessarytoinquireafterthecharacterofpersons,whomakesogenteelanappearance,asheobservedtheydo.

Andhereletmeremark,thatmybelovedmightcollectanothercircumstanceinfavourofthepeoplebelow,hadshedoubtedtheircharacters,fromthesilenceofheruncle'sinquiristonTuesdayamongtheneighbours.

Capt.'Andnow,Sir,thatIbelieveIhavesatisfiedyouineverythingrelatingtomycommission,Ihopeyouwillpermitmetorepeatmyquestion--whichis--'

EnterDorcasagain,outofbreath.

Sir,thegentlemanwillstepuptoyou.[Myladyisimpatient.Shewondersatyourhonour'sdelay.Aside.]

Excuseme,Captain,foronemoment.

Ihavestaidmyfulltime,Mr.Lovelace.Whatmayresultfrommy



questionandyouranswer,whateveritshallbe,maytakeusuptime.--Andyouareengaged.Willyoupermitmetoattendyouinthemorning,beforeIsetoutonmyreturn?

Youwillthenbreakfastwithme,Captain?

ItmustbeearlyifIdo.Imustreachmyownhouseto-morrownight,orIshallmakethebestofwivesunhappy.AndIhavetwoorthreeplacestocallatinmyway.

Itshallbebyseveno'clock,ifyouplease,Captain.Weareearlyfolks.AndthisIwilltellyou,thatifeverIamreconciledtoafamilysoimplacableasIhavealwaysfoundtheHarlowestobe,itmustbebythemediationofsocoolandsomoderateagentlemanasyourself.

Andso,withthehighestcivilitiesonbothsides,weparted.Butfortheprivatesatisfactionofsogoodaman,Ilefthimoutofdoubtthatweweremanandwife,thoughIdidnotdirectlyaverit.

LETTERVI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.

SUNDAYNIGHT.

ThisCaptainTomlinsonisoneofthehappiestaswellasoneofthebestmenintheworld.WhatwouldIgivetostandashighinmybeloved'sopinionashedoes!butyetIamasgoodamanashe,wereItotellmyownstory,andhaveequalcreditgiventoit.ButthedevilshouldhavehadhimbeforeIhadseenhimontheaccounthecameupon,hadIthoughtIshouldnothaveansweredmyprincipalendinit.Ihintedtotheeinmylastwhatthatwas.

Buttotheparticularsoftheconferencebetweenmyfair-oneandme,onherhastymessages;whichIwaslothtocometo,becauseshehashadan

halftriumphovermeinit.

AfterIhadattendedtheCaptaindowntotheverypassage,Ireturnedtothedining-room,andputonajoyfulair,onmybeloved'sentranceintoit--Omydearestcreature,saidI,letmecongratulateyouonaprospectsoagreeabletoyourwishes!AndIsnatchedherhand,andsmothereditwithkisses.

Iwasgoingon;wheninterruptingme,Yousee,Mr.Lovelace,saidshe,howyouhaveembarrassedyourselfbyyourobliquities!Yousee,thatyouhavenotbeenabletoreturnadirectanswertoaplainandhonestquestion,thoughuponitdependsallthehappiness,ontheprospectofwhichyoucongratulateme!

Youknow,mybestlove,whatmyprudent,andIwillsay,mykindmotiveswere,forgivingoutthatweweremarried.YouseethatIhavetakennoadvantageofit;andthatnoinconveniencehasfollowedit.Youseethatyourunclewantsonlytobeassuredfromourselvesthatitisso--

Notanotherwordonthissubject,Mr.Lovelace.Iwillnotonlyrisk,butIwillforfeit,thereconciliationsonearmyheart,ratherthanIwillgoontocountenanceastorysountrue!



Mydearestsoul--Wouldyouhavemeappear--

Iwouldhaveyouappear,Sir,asyouare!IamresolvedthatIwillappeartomyuncle'sfriend,andtomyuncle,asIam.

Foroneweek,mydearestlife!cannotyouforoneweek--onlytillthesettlements--

Notforonehour,withmyownconsent.Youdon'tknow,Sir,howmuchIhavebeenafflicted,thatIhaveappearedtothepeoplebelowwhatIamnot.Butmyuncle,Sir,shallneverhaveittoupbraidme,norwillItoupbraidmyself,thatIhavewilfullypasseduponhiminfalselights.

What,mydear,wouldyouhavemesaytotheCaptainto-morrowmorning?Ihavegivenhimroomtothink--

Thenputhimright,Mr.Lovelace.Tellthetruth.Tellhimwhatyoupleaseofthefavourofyourrelationstome:tellhimwhatyouwillaboutthesettlements:andif,whendrawn,youwillsubmitthemtohisperusalandapprobation,itwillshowhimhowmuchyouareinearnest.

Mydearestlife!--DoyouthinkthathewoulddisapproveofthetermsIhaveoffered?

No.ThenmayIbeaccursed,ifIwillinglysubmittobetrampledunderfootbymyenemies!

AndmayI,Mr.Lovelace,neverbeunhappyinthislife,ifIsubmittothepassinguponmyuncleHarloweawilfulandpremeditatedfalshoodfortruth!Ihavetoolonglabouredundertheafflictionwhichtherejectionofallmyfriendshasgivenme,topurchasemyreconciliationwiththemnowatsodearapriceasthisofmyveracity.

Thewomenbelow,mydear--

Whatarethewomenbelowtome?--Iwantnottoestablishmyselfwiththem.Needtheyknowallthatpassesbetweenmyrelationsandyouandme?

Neitheraretheyanythingtome,Madam.Only,thatwhen,forthesakeofpreventingthefatalmischiefswhichmighthaveattendedyourbrother'sprojects,Ihavemadethemthinkusmarried,Iwouldnotappeartotheminalightwhichyouyourselfthinksoshocking.Bymysoul,Madam,Ihadratherdie,thancontradictmyselfsoflagrantly,afterIhaverelatedtothemsomanycircumstancesofourmarriage.

Well,Sir,thewomenmaybelievewhattheyplease.ThatIhavegivencountenancetowhatyoutoldthemismyerror.Themanycircumstances

whichyouownoneuntruthhasdrawnyouintorelate,isajustificationofmyrefusalinthepresentcase.

Don'tyousee,Madam,thatyourunclewishestofindthatwearemarried?Maynottheceremonybeprivatelyover,beforehismediationcantakeplace?

Urgethispointnofurther,Mr.Lovelace.Ifyouwillnottellthetruth,Iwillto-morrowmorning(ifIseeCaptainTomlinson)tellitmyself.IndeedIwill.



Willyou,Madam,consentthatthingspassasbeforewiththepeoplebelow?ThismediationofTomlinsonmaycometonothing.Yourbrother'sschemesmaybepursued;therather,thatnowhewillknow(perhapsfromyouruncle)thatyouarenotunderalegalprotection.--Youwill,atleast,consentthatthingspasshereasbefore?--

Topermitthis,istogooninanerror,Mr.Lovelace.Butastheoccasionforsodoing(iftherecanbeinyouropinionanoccasionthatwillwarrantanuntruth)will,asIpresume,soonbeover,Ishallthelessdisputethatpointwithyou.ButanewerrorIwillnotbeguiltyof,ifIcanavoidit.

CanI,doyouthink,Madam,haveanydishonourableviewinthestepIsupposedyouwouldnotscrupletotaketowardsareconciliationwithyourownfamily?Notformyownsake,youknow,didIwishyoutotakeit;forwhatisittome,ifIamneverreconciledtoyourfamily?Iwantnofavoursfromthem.

Ihope,Mr.Lovelace,thereisnooccasion,inourpresentnotdisagreeablesituation,toanswersuchaquestion.Andletmesay,thatIshallthinkmyprospectsstillmoreagreeable,if,to-morrowmorningyouwillnotonlyowntheverytruth,butgivemyuncle'sfriendsuchanaccountofthestepsyouhavetaken,andaretaking,asmaykeepupmy

uncle'sfavourableintentionstowardsme.Thisyoumaydounderwhatrestrictionsofsecrecyyouplease.CaptainTomlinsonisaprudentman;apromoteroffamily-peace,youfind;and,Idaresay,maybemadeafriend.

Isawtherewasnohelp.IsawthattheinflexibleHarlowespiritwasallupinher.--Alittlewitch!--Alittle--Forgiveme,Love,forcallinghernames!AndsoIsaid,withanair,Wehavehadtoomanymisunderstandings,Madam,formetowishfornewones:Iwillobeyyouwithoutreserve.HadInotthoughtIshouldhaveobligedyoubytheothermethod,(especiallyastheceremonymighthavebeenoverbeforeanythingcouldhaveoperatedfromyouruncle'sintentions,andofconsequencenountruthpersistedin,)Iwouldnothaveproposedit.But

thinknot,mybelovedcreature,thatyoushallenjoy,withoutcondition,thistriumphovermyjudgment.

Andthen,claspingmyarmsabouther,Igaveheravertedcheek(hercharminglipdesigned)aferventkiss.--Andyourforgivenessofthissweetfreedom[bowing]isthatcondition.

Shewasnotmortallyoffended.AndnowmustImakeouttherestaswellasIcan.ButthisIwilltellthee,thatalthoughhertriumphhasnotdiminishedmyloveforher,yetithasstimulatedmemorethanevertorevenge,asthouwiltbeapttocallit.Butvictory,orconquest,isthemoreproperword.

Thereisapleasure,'tistrue,insubduingoneofthesewatchfulbeauties.Butbymysoul,Belford,menofourcasttaketwentytimesthepainstoberoguesthanitwouldcostthemtobehonest;anddearly,withthesweatofourbrows,andtothepuzzlementofourbrains,(tosaynothingofthehazardsherun,)doweearnourpurchase;andoughtnotthereforetobegrudgedoursuccesswhenwemeetwithit--especiallyas,whenwehaveobtainedourend,satietysoonfollows;andleavesuslittleornothingtoshowforit.Butthis,indeed,maybesaidofallworldlydelights.--Andisnotthatagravereflectionfromme?



Iwaswillingtowriteuptothetime.AlthoughIhavenotcarriedmyprincipalpoint,IshallmakesomethingturnoutifmyfavourfromCaptainTomlinson'serrand.Butletmegivetheethiscaution;thatthoudonotpretendtojudgeofmydevicesbyparts;buthavepatiencetillthouseestthewhole.ButoncemoreIswear,thatIwillnotbeout-Norris'dbyapairofnovices.AndyetIamveryapprehensive,attimes,oftheconsequencesofMissHowe'ssmugglingscheme.

Myconscience,Ishouldthink,oughtnottoreproachmeforacontrivance,whichisjustifiedbythecontrivancesoftwosuchgirlsasthese:oneofwhom(themoreexcellentofthetwo)Ihavealways,withherownapprobation,asIimagine,proposedformyimitation.

Buthere,Jack,isthethingthatconcludesme,andcasesmyheartwithadamant:Ifind,byMissHowe'sletters,thatitisowingtoher,thatIhavemadenogreaterprogresswithmybloomingfair-one.Shelovesme.Theipecacuanhacontrivanceconvincesmethatshelovesme.Wherethereislovetheremustbeconfidence,oradesireofhavingreasontoconfide.Generosity,foundedonmysupposedgenerosity,hastakenholdofherheart.ShallInotnowsee(sinceImustforeverbeunhappy,ifImarryher,andleaveanytrialunessayed)whatIcanmakeofherlove,andhernewly-raisedconfidence?--Willitnotbetomyglorytosucceed?Andtoher'sandtothehonourofhersex,ifIcannot?--Wherethenwillbethehurttoeither,tomakethetrial?AndcannotI,asIhaveoften

said,rewardherwhenIwillbymarriage?

'Tislate,orratherearly;forthedaybeginstodawnuponme.Iamplaguyheavy.PerhapsIneednottohavetoldtheethat.Butwillonlyindulgeadozeinmychairforanhour;thenshakemyself,washandrefresh.Atmytimeoflife,withsuchaconstitutionasIamblessedwith,that'sallthat'swanted.

Goodnighttome!--ItcannotbebroaddaytillIamawake.--Aw-w-w-whaugh--poxofthisyawning!

Isnotthyuncledeadyet?

What'scometomine,thathewritesnottomylast?--Huntingaftermorewisdomofnations,Isuppose!--Yaw-yaw-yawningagain!--Pen,begone!

LETTERVII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAY,MAY29.

NowhaveIestablishedmyselfforeverinmycharmer'sheart.

TheCaptaincameatseven,aspromised,andreadyequippedforhisjourney.Mybelovedchosenottogiveushercompanytillourfirstconversationwasover--ashamed,Isuppose,tobepresentatthatpartofitwhichwastorestorehertohervirginstatebymyconfession,afterherwifehoodhadbeenreportedtoheruncle.Butshetookhercue,nevertheless,andlistenedtoallthatpassed.

Themodestestwomen,Jack,mustthink,andthinkdeeplysometimes.Iwonderwhethertheyeverblushatthosethingsbythemselves,atwhich



theyhavesocharmingaknackofblushingincompany.Ifnot;andifblushingbeasignofgraceormodesty;havenotthesexasgreatacommandovertheirblushesastheyaresaidtohaveovertheirtears?Thisreflectionwouldleadmeagreatwayintofemaleminds,wereIdisposedtopursueit.

ItoldtheCaptain,thatIwouldpreventhisquestion;andaccordingly(afterIhadenjoinedthestrictestsecrecy,thatnoadvantagemightbegiventoJamesHarlowe,andwhichhehadansweredforaswellonMr.Harlowe'spartashisown)Iacknowledgednakedlyandfairlythewholetruth--towit,'Thatwewerenotyetmarried.Igavehimhintsofthecausesofprocrastination.Someofthemowingtounhappymisunderstandings:butchieflytotheLady'sdesireofpreviousreconciliationwithherfriends;andtoadelicacythathadnoexample.'

Lessniceladiesthanthis,Jack,lovetohavedelays,wilfulandstudieddelays,imputedtotheminthesecases--yetareindelicateintheiraffecteddelicacy:Fordotheynottherebytacitlyconfess,thattheyexpecttobethegreatestestgainersinwedlock;andthatthereisself-denialinthepridetheytakeindelaying?

'Itoldhimthereasonofourpassingtothepeoplebelowasmarried--yetasunderavowofrestriction,astoconsummation,whichhadkeptusbothtotheheight,oneofforbearing,theotherofvigilantpunctilio;even

tothedenialofthoseinnocentfreedoms,whichbetrothedloversneverscrupletoallowandtotake.

'Ithencommunicatedtohimacopyofmyproposalofsettlement;thesubstanceofherwrittenanswer;thecontentsofmyletterofinvitationtoLordM.tobehernuptial-father;andofmyLord'sgenerousreply.Butsaid,thathavingapprehensionsofdelayfromhisinfirmities,andmybelovedchoosingbyallmeans(andthatfromprinciplesofunrequitedduty)aprivatesolemnization,IhadwrittentoexcusehisLordship'spresence;andexpectedananswereveryhour.

'Thesettlements,Itoldhim,wereactuallydrawingbyCounsellorWilliams,ofwhoseeminencehemusthaveheard--'

Hehad.

'Andofthetruthofthishemightsatisfyhimselfbeforehewentoutoftown.

'Whentheseweredrawn,approved,andengrossed,nothing,Isaid,butsigning,andthenominationofmyhappyday,wouldbewanting.Ihadapride,Ideclared,indoingthehighestjusticetosobelovedacreature,ofmyownvoluntarymotion,andwithouttheinterventionofafamilyfromwhomIhadreceivedthegreatestinsults.Andthisbeingourpresentsituation,IwascontentedthatMr.JohnHarloweshouldsuspendhisreconciliatorypurposestillourmarriagewereactuallysolemnized.'

TheCaptainwashighlydelightedwithallIsaid:Yetowned,thatashisdearfriendMr.Harlowehadexpressedhimselfgreatlypleasedtohearthatwewereactuallymarried,hecouldhavewishedithadbeenso.But,nevertheless,hedoubtednotthatallwouldbewell.

Hesawmyreasons,hesaid,andapprovedofthem,formakingthegentlewomenbelow[whomagainheunderstoodtobegoodsortofpeople]believethattheceremonyhadpassed;whichsowellaccountedforwhatthelady'smaidhadtoldMr.Harlowe'sfriend.Mr.JamesHarlowe,he



said,hadcertainlyendstoanswerinkeepingopenthebreach;andascertainlyhadformedadesigntogethissisteroutofmyhands.Whereforeitasmuchimportedhisworthyfriendtokeepthistreatyassecret,asitdidme;atleasttillhehadformedhisparty,andtakenhismeasures.Illwillandpassionweredreadfulmisrepresenters.Itwasamazingtohim,thatanimositycouldbecarriedsohighagainstamancapableofviewssopacificandsohonourable,andwhohadshownsuchacommandofhistemper,inthiswholetransaction,asIhaddone.Generosity,indeed,ineverycase,whereloveofstratagemandintrigue(Iwouldexcusehim)werenotconcerned,wasapartofmycharacter.

Hewasproceeding,when,breakfastbeingready,incametheempressofmyheart,irradiatingallaroundher,aswithaglory--abenignityandgraciousnessinheraspect,that,thoughnaturaltoit,hadbeenlongbanishedfromit.

NexttoprostrationlowlybowedtheCaptain.Ohowthesweetcreaturesmiledherapprobationofhim!Reverencefromonebegetsreverencefromanother.Menaremoreofmonkeysinimitationthantheythinkthemselves.--Involuntarily,inamanner,Ibentmyknee--Mydearestlife--andmadeaveryfinespeechonpresentingtheCaptaintoher.Notitlemyself,toherliporcheek,'tiswellheattemptednoteither.Hewasindeedreadytoworshipher;--couldonlytouchhercharminghand.

IhavetoldtheCaptain,mydearcreature--andthenIbrieflyrepeated(asifIhadsupposedshehadnotheardit)allIhadtoldhim.

Hewasastonished,thatanybodycouldbedispleasedonemomentwithsuchanangel.Heundertookhercauseasthehighestdegreeofmerittohimself.

Never,Imustneedsay,didanangelsomuchlooktheangel.Allplacid,serene,smiling,self-assured:amorelovelyflushthanusualheighteninghernaturalgraces,andaddingcharms,eventoradiance,tohercharmingcomplexion.

Afterwehadseatedourselves,theagreeablesubjectwasrenewed,aswe

tookourchocolate.Howhappyshouldshebeinheruncle'srestoredfavour!

TheCaptainengagedforit--Nomoredelays,hehoped,onherpart!Letthehappydaybebutonceover,allwouldthenberight.Butwasitimpropertoaskforcopiesofmyproposals,andofheranswer,inordertoshowthemtohisdearfriend,heruncle?

AsMr.Lovelacepleased.--Othatthedearcreaturewouldalwayssayso!

Itmustbeinstrictconfidencethen,Isaid.Butwoulditnotbebettertoshowherunclethedraughtofthesettlements,whendrawn?

Andwillyoubesogoodastoallowofthis,Mr.Lovelace?

There,Belford!Wewereoncethequarrelsome,butnowwearethepolite,lovers.

Indeed,mydearcreature,Iwill,ifyoudesireit,andifCaptainTomlinsonwillengagethatMr.Harloweshallkeepthemabsolutelyasecret;thatImaynotbesubjectedtothecavilandcontroulofanyothersofafamilythathaveusedmesoveryill.



Now,indeed,Sir,youareveryobliging.

Dostthink,Jack,thatmyfacedidnotnowalsoshine?

Iheldoutmyhand,(firstconsecratingitwithakiss,)forher's.Shecondescendedtogiveitme.Ipressedittomylips:YouknownotCaptainTomlinson,(withanair,)allstormsoverblown,whatahappyman--

Charmingcouple![hishandsliftedup,]howwillmygoodfriendrejoice!Othathewerepresent!Youknownot,Madam,howdearyoustillaretoyouruncleHarlowe!

Iamstillunhappyevertohavedisobligedhim!

Nottoomuchofthat,however,fairest,thoughtI!

TheCaptainrepeatedhisresolutionofservice,andthatinsoacceptableamanner,thatthedearcreaturewishedthatneitherhe,noranyofhis,mighteverwantafriendofequalbenevolence.

Noranyofthis,shesaid;fortheCaptainbroughtitin,thathehadfivechildrenliving,byoneofthebestwivesandmothers,whoseexcellentmanagementmadehimashappyasifhiseighthundredpoundsa

year(whichwasallhehadtoboastof)weretwothousand.Withouteconomy,theoracularladysaid,noestatewaslargeenough.Withit,theleastwasnottoosmall.

Liestill,teasingvillain!liestill.--Iwasonlyspeakingtomyconscience,Jack.

Andletmeaskyou,Mr.Lovelace,saidtheCaptain;yetnotsomuchfromdoubt,asthatImayproceeduponsuregrounds--Youarewillingtoco-operatewithmydearfriendinageneralreconciliation?

Letmetellyou,Mr.Tomlinson,thatifitcanbedistinguished,thatmy

readinesstomakeupwithafamily,ofwhosegenerosityIhavenothadreasontothinkhighly,isentirelyowingtothevalueIhaveforthisangelofawoman,Iwillnotonlyco-operatewithMr.JohnHarlowe,asyouask;butIwillmeetwithMr.JamesHarlowesenior,andhislady,alltheway.Andfurthermore,tomakethesonJamesandhissisterArabellaquiteeasy,Iwillabsolutelydisclaimanyfurtherinterest,whetherlivingordying,inanyofthethreebrothers'estates;contentingmyselfwithwhatmybeloved'sgrandfatherhadbequeathedtoher:forIhavereasontobeabundantlysatisfiedwithmyowncircumstancesandprospects--enoughrewarded,wereshenottobringashillingindowry,inawomanwhohasameritsuperiortoallthegoodsoffortune.--TrueastheGospel,Belford!--Whyhadnotthisscenearealfoundation?

Thedearcreature,byhereyes,expressedhergratitude,beforeherlipscouldutterit.OMr.Lovelace,saidshe--youhaveinfinitely--Andthereshestopt.

TheCaptainrunoverinmypraise.Hewasreallyaffected.

OthatIhadnotsuchamixtureofrevengeandprideinmylove,thoughtI!--But,(myoldplea,)cannotImakeheramendsatanytime?Andisnothervirtuenowintheheightofitsprobation?--Wouldshelayaside,likethefriendsofmyuncontendingRosebud,allthoughtsofdefiance--Would



shethrowherselfuponmymercy,andtrymebutonefortnightinthelifeofhonour--Whatthen?--Icannotsay,Whatthen--

Donotdespiseme,Jack,formyinconsistency--innotwolettersperhapsagreeingwithmyself--Whoexpectsconsistencyinmenofourcharacter?--ButIammadwithlove--firedbyrevenge--puzzledwithmyowndevices--myinventionismycurse--mypridemypunishment--drawnfiveorsixwaysatonce,canshepossiblybesounhappyasI?--Owhy,why,wasthiswomansodivinelyexcellent!--YethowknowIthatsheis?Whathavebeenhertrials?HaveIhadthecouragetomakeasingleoneuponherperson,thoughathousanduponhertemper?--Enow,Ihope,tomakeherafraidofevermoredisobligingmemore!--

***

Imustbanishreflection,orIamalostman.ForthesetwohourspasthaveIhatedmyselfformyowncontrivances.AndthisnotonlyfromwhatIhaverelatedtothee;butforwhatIhavefurthertorelate.ButIhavenowoncemoresteeledmyheart.Myvengeanceisuppermost;forIhavebeenreperusingsomeofMissHowe'svirulence.ThecontempttheyhavebothheldmeinIcannotbear.

Thehappiestbreakfast-time,mybelovedowned,thatshehadeverknownsinceshehadleftherfather'shouse.[Shemighthaveletthisalone.]TheCaptainrenewedallhisprotestationsofservice.Hewouldwritemewordhowhisdearfriendreceivedtheaccountheshouldgivehimofthehappysituationofouraffairs,andwhathethoughtofthesettlements,assoonasIshouldsendhimthedraughtssokindlypromised.Andwepartedwithgreatprofessionsofmutualesteem;mybelovedputtingupvowsforthesuccessofhisgenerousmediation.

WhenIreturnedfromattendingtheCaptaindownstairs,whichIdidtotheoutwarddoor,mybelovedmetmeasIenteredthedining-room;complacencyreigningineverylovelyfeature.

'Youseemealready,'saidshe,'anothercreature.Youknownot,Mr.Lovelace,hownearmyheartthishoped-forreconciliationis.Iamnowwillingtobanisheverydisagreeableremembrance.Youknownot,Sir,howmuchyouhaveobligedme.AndOMr.Lovelace,howhappyIshallbe,whenmyheartislightenedfromtheall-sinkingweightofafather'scurse!Whenmydearmamma--Youdon'tknow,Sir,halftheexcellenciesofmydearmamma!andwhatakindheartshehas,whenitislefttofollowitsownimpulses--Whenthisblessedmammashalloncemorefoldmetoherindulgentbosom!WhenIshallagainhaveunclesandaunts,andabrotherandsister,allstrivingwhoshallshowmostkindnessandfavourtothepooroutcast,thennomoreanoutcast--Andyou,Mr.Lovelace,tobeholdallthis,withwelcome--Whatthoughalittlecoldatfirst?whentheycometoknowyoubetter,andtoseeyouoftener,nofreshcausesof

disgustoccurring,andyou,asIhope,havingentereduponanewcourse,allwillbewarmerandwarmerloveonbothsides,tilleveryonewillperhapswonder,howtheycametosetthemselvesagainstyou.'

Thendryinghertearswithherhandkerchief,afterafewmomentspausing,onasudden,asifrecollectingthatshehadbeenledbyherjoytoanexpressionofitwhichshehadnotintendedIshouldsee,sheretiredtoherchamberwithprecipitation;leavingmealmostasunabletostanditasherself.



Inshort,Iwas--IwantwordstosayhowIwas--mynosehadbeenmadetotinglebefore;myeyeshavebeforebeenmadetoglistenbythissoul-movingbeauty;butsoverymuchaffected,Ineverwas--for,tryingtocheckmysensibility,itwastoostrongforme,andIevensobbed--Yes,bymysoul,Iaudiblysobbed,andwasforcedtoturnfromherbeforeshehadwellfinishedheraffectingspeech.

Iwant,methinks,nowIhadownedtheoddsensation,todescribeittothee--thethingwassostrangetome--somethingchoking,asitwere,inmythroat--Iknownothow--yet,Imustneedssay,thoughIamoutofcountenanceupontherecollection,thattherewassomethingveryprettyinit;andIwishIcouldknowitagain,thatImighthaveamoreperfectideaofit,andbebetterabletodescribeittothee.

Butthiseffectofherjoyonsuchanoccasiongivesmeahighnotionofwhatthatvirtuemustbe[WhatothernamecanIcallit?]whichinamindsocapableofdelicatetransport,shouldbeabletomakesocharmingacreature,inherverybloom,allfrostandsnowtoeveryadvanceoflovefromthemanshehatesnot.Thismustbeallfromeducationtoo--Mustitnot,Belford?Caneducationhavestrongerforceinawoman'sheartthannature?--Sureitcannot.Butifitcan,howentirelyrightareparentstocultivatetheirdaughters'minds,andtoinspirethemwithnotionsofreserveanddistancetooursex:andindeedtomakethemthinkhighlyoftheirown!forprideisanexcellentsubstitute,letmetellthee,where

virtueshinesnotout,asthesun,initsownunborrowedlustre.

LETTERVIII


Andnowitistimetoconfess(andyetIknowthatthyconjecturesareaforehandwithmyexposition)thatthisCaptainTomlinson,whoissogreatafavouritewithmycharmer,andwhotakessomuchdelightinhealingbreaches,andreconcilingdifferences,isneitheragreaterman

noralessthanhonestPatrickM'Donald,attendedbyadiscardedfootmanofhisownfindingout.

Thouknowestwhatavarious-lifedrascalheis;andtowhatbetterhopesbornandeducated.Butthatingeniousknackofforgery,forwhichhewasexpelledtheDublin-University,andadetectionsinceinevidenceship,havebeenhisruin.Forthesehavethrownhimfromonecountrytoanother;andatlast,intothewayoflife,whichwouldmakehimafithusbandforMissHowe'sTownsendwithhercontrabands.Heis,thouknowest,admirablyqualifiedforanyenterprizethatrequiresadroitnessandsolemnity.Andcanthere,afterall,beahigherpieceofjustice,thantokeeponesmugglerinreadinesstoplayagainstanother?

'Well,but,Lovelace,(methinksthouquestionest,)howcamestthoutoventureuponsuchacontrivanceasthis,when,asthouhasttoldme,theLadyusedtobeamonthatatimeatthisuncle's;andmusttherefore,inallprobability,know,thattherewasnotaCaptainTomlinsoninalltheneighbourhood,atleastnooneofthenamesointimatewithhimasthismanpretendstobe?'

Thisobjection,Jack,issonaturalaone,thatIcouldnothelpobservingtomycharmer,thatshemustsurelyhaveheardherunclespeakofthisgentleman.No,shesaid,sheneverhad.Besidesshehadnot



beenatheruncleHarlowe'sforneartenmonths[thisIhadheardfromherbefore]:andtherewereseveralgentlemenwhousedthesamegreen,whomsheknewnot.

Weareallveryready,thouknowest,tobelievewhatshelikes.

Andwhatwasthereason,thinkestthou,thatshehadnotbeenofsolongatimeatthisuncle's?--Why,thisoldsinner,whoimagineshimselfentitledtocallmetoaccountformyfreedomswiththesex,haslatelyfallenintofamiliarities,asitissuspected,withhishousekeeper;whoassumesairsuponit.--Acurseddeludingsex!--Inyouth,middleage,ordotage,theytakeusallin.

Dostthounotsee,however,thatthishousekeeperknowsnothing,noristoknowanything,ofthetreatyofreconciliationdesignedtobesetonfoot;andthereforetheunclealwayscomestotheCaptain,theCaptaingoesnottotheuncle?AndthisIsurmisedtothelady.Andthenitwasanaturalsuggestion,thattheCaptainwastheratherappliedto,asheisastrangertotherestofthefamily--NeedItelltheethemeaningofallthis?

Butthisintrigueoftheantientisapieceofprivatehistory,thetruthofwhichmybelovedcaresnottoown,andindeedaffectstodisbelieve:asshedoesalsosomepuisnygallantriesofherfoolishbrother;which,

bywayofrecrimination,Ihavehintedat,withoutnamingmyinformantintheirfamily.

'Wellbut,methinks,thouquestionestagain,IsitnotprobablethatMissHowewillmakeinquiryaftersuchamanasTomlinson?--Andwhenshecannot--'

Iknowwhatthouwouldstsay--butIhavenodoubt,thatWilsonwillbesogood,ifIdesireit,astogiveintomyownhandsanyletterthatmaybebroughtbyCollinstohishouse,foraweektocome.AndnowIhopethouartsatisfied.

Iwillconcludewithashortstory.

'Twoneighbouringsovereignswereatwartogether,aboutsomepitifulchuck-farthingthingorother;nomatterwhat;fortheleasttrifleswillsetprincesandchildrenatloggerheads.Theirarmieshadbeendrawnupinbattaliasomedays,andthenewsofadecisiveactionwasexpectedeveryhourtoarriveateachcourt.Atlast,issuewasjoined;abloodybattlewasfought;andafellowwhohadbeenaspectatorofit,arriving,withthenewsofacompletevictory,atthecapitalofoneoftheprincessometimebeforetheappointedcouriers,thebellsweresetaringing,bonfiresandilluminationsweremade,andthepeoplewenttobedintoxicatedwithjoyandgoodliquor.Butthenextdayallwasreversed:Thevictoriousenemy,pursuinghisadvantage,wasexpectedeveryhouratthegatesofthealmostdefencelesscapital.Thefirstreporterwas

hereuponsoughtfor,andfound;andbeingquestioned,pleadedagreatdealofmerit,inthathehad,insodismalasituation,takensuchaspaceoftimefromthedistressofhisfellow-citizens,andgivenittofestivity,aswerethehoursbetweenthefalsegoodnewsandtherealbad.'

Dothou,Belford,maketheapplication.ThisIknow,thatIhavegivengreaterjoytomybeloved,thanshehadthoughtwouldsosoonfalltohershare.Andasthehumanlifeisproperlysaidtobechequerwork,nodoubtbutapersonofherprudencewillmakethebestofit,andsetoff



somuchgoodagainstsomuchbad,inordertostrikeasjustabalanceaspossible.

[TheLady,inthreeseveralletters,acquaintsherfriendwiththemostmaterialpassagesandconversationscontainedinthoseofMr.Lovelace'spreceding.Theseareherwords,onrelatingwhatthecommissionofthepretendedTomlinsonwas,aftertheapprehensionsthathisdistantinquiryhadgivenher:]

Atlast,mydear,allthesedoubtsandfearswereclearedup,andbanished;and,intheirplace,adelightfulprospectwasopenedtome.Foritcomeshappilyout,(butatpresentitmustbeanabsolutesecret,forreasonswhichIshallmentioninthesequel,)thatthegentlemanwassentbymyuncleHarlowe[Ithoughthecouldnotbeangrywithmeforever]:allowingtotheconversationthatpassedbetweenyourgoodMr.Hickmanandhim.ForalthoughMr.Hickman'sapplicationwastooharshlyrejectedatthetime,myunclecouldnotbutthinkbetterofitafterwards,andoftheargumentsthatworthygentlemanusedinmyfavour.

Who,uponapassionaterepulse,woulddespairofhavingareasonablerequestgranted?--Whowouldnot,bygentlenessandcondescension,endeavourtoleavefavourableimpressionsuponanangrymind;which,whenitcomescoolytoreflect,mayinduceittoworkitselfintoa

condescendingtemper?Torequestafavour,asIhaveoftensaid,isonething;tochallengeitasourdue,isanother.Andwhatrighthasapetitionertobeangryatarepulse,ifhehasnotarighttodemandwhathesuesforasadebt?

[ShedescribesCaptainTomlinson,onhisbreakfast-visit,tobe,agrave,goodsortofman.Andinanotherplace,agenteelmanofgreatgravity,andagoodaspect;shebelievesupwardsoffiftyyearsofage.'Ilikedhim,saysshe,assoonasIsawhim.'

Asherprojectsarenow,shesays,morefavourablethanheretofore,shewishes,thatherhopesofMr.Lovelace'sso-often-promisedreformation

werebettergroundedthansheisafraidtheycanbe.]

Wehavebothbeenextremelypuzzled,mydear,saysshe,toreconcilesomepartsofMr.Lovelace'scharacterwithotherpartsofit:hisgoodwithhisbad;suchoftheformer,inparticular,ashisgenerositytohistenants;hisbountytotheinnkeeper'sdaughter;hisreadinesstoputmeupondoingkindthingsbymygoodNorton,andothers.

Astrangemixtureinhismind,asIhavetoldhim!forheiscertainly(asIhavereasontosay,lookingbackuponhispastbehaviourtomeintwentyinstances)ahard-heartedman.--Indeed,mydear,Ihavethoughtmorethanonce,thathehadratherseemeintearsthangivemereasontobepleasedwithhim.

MycousinMordensays,thatfreeliversareremorseless.*Andsotheymustbeintheverynatureofthings.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXIX.SeealsoMr.Lovelace'sownconfessionofthedelighthetakesinawoman'stears,indifferentpartsofhisletters.

Mr.Lovelaceisaproudman.Wehavebothlongagoobservedthatheis.



AndIamtrulyafraid,thathisverygenerosityismoreowingtohisprideandhisvanity,thatthatphilanthropy(shallIcallit?)whichdistinguishesabeneficentmind.

Moneyhevaluesnot,butasameantosupporthisprideandhisindependence.Anditiseasy,asIhaveoftenthought,forapersontopartwithasecondaryappetite,when,bysodoing,hecanpromoteorgratifyafirst.

Iamafraid,mydear,thattheremusthavebeensomefaultinhiseducation.Hisnaturalbiaswasnot,perhaps(ashispowerwaslikelytobelarge)todogoodandbeneficentactions;butnot,Idoubt,frompropermotives.

Ifhehad,hisgenerositywouldnothavestoptatpride,butwouldhavestruckintohumanity;andthenwouldhenothavecontentedhimselfwithdoingpraiseworthythingsbyfitsandstarts,or,asifrelyingonthedoctrineofmerits,hehopedbyagoodactiontoatoneforabadone;*buthewouldhavebeenuniformlynoble,anddonethegoodforitsownsake.

*ThattheLadyjudgesrightlyofhiminthisplace,seeVol.I.LetterXXXIV.where,givingthemotiveforhisgenerositytohisRosebud,he

says--'AsImakeitmyrule,wheneverIhavecommittedaverycapitalenormity,todosomegoodbywayofatonement;andasIbelieveIamaprettydealindebtedonthatscore;IintendtojoinanhundredpoundstoJohnny'saunt'shundredpounds,tomakeoneinnocentcouplehappy.'--Besideswhichmotive,hehadafurtherviewinanswerinthatinstanceofhisgenerosity;asmaybeseeninVol.II.LettersXXVI.XXVII.XXVIII.Seealsothenote,Vol.II.pp.170,171.

Toshowtheconsistenceofhisactions,astheynowappear,withhisviewsandprinciples,ashelaysthemdowninhisfirstletters,itmaybenotamisstoreferthereadertohisletters,Vol.I.No.XXXIV.XXXV.

SeealsoVol.I.LetterXXX.--andLetterXL.forClarissa'searlyopinion

ofMr.Lovelace.--Whencethecoldnessandindifferencetohim,whichhesorepeatedlyaccusesherof,willbeaccountedfor,moretoherglory,thantohishonour.

Omydear!whatalothaveIdrawn!pride,thispoorman'svirtue;andrevenge,hisotherpredominatingquality!--Thisoneconsolation,however,remains:--Heisnotaninfidel,andunbeliever:hadhebeenaninfidel,therewouldhavebeennoroomatallforhopeofhim;(butpridinghimself,ashedoes,inhisfertileinvention)hewouldhavebeenutterlyabandoned,irreclaimable,andasavage.

[Whenshecomestorelatethoseoccasions,whichMr.Lovelaceinhisnarrativeacknowledgeshimselftobeaffectedby,shethusexpressesherself:]

Heendeavoured,asoncebefore,toconcealhisemotion.Butwhy,mydear,shouldthesemen(forMr.Lovelaceisnotsingularinthis)thinkthemselvesabovegivingthesebeautifulproofsofafeelingheart?Wereitinmypoweragaintochoose,ortorefuse,Iwouldrejectthemanwithcontempt,whosoughttosuppress,orofferedtodeny,thepowerofbeingvisiblyaffecteduponproperoccasions,aseitherasavage-hearted



creature,orasonewhowassoignorantoftheprincipalgloryofthehumannature,astoplacehisprideinabarbarousinsensibility.

TheselinestranslatedfromJuvenalbyMr.Tate,Ihavebeenoftenpleasedwith:

Compassionpropertomankindappears:WhichNaturewitness'd,whenshelentustears.OftendersentimentsweonlygiveTheseproofs:Toweepisourprerogative:Toshowbypityinglooks,andmeltingeyes,Howwithasuff'ringfriendwesympathise.Whocanallsenseofotherillsescape,Isbutabruteatbest,inhumanshape.

Itcannotbutyieldmesomepleasure,hardlyasIhavesometimesthoughtofthepeopleofthehouse,thatsuchagoodmanasCaptainTomlinsonhadspokenwellofthem,uponinquiry.

AndhereIstopaminute,mydear,toreceive,infancy,yourkindcongratulation.

Mynext,Ihope,willconfirmmypresent,andopenstillmoreagreeableprospects.Meantimebeassured,thattherecannotpossiblyanygood

fortunebefalme,whichIshalllookuponwithequaldelighttothatIhaveinyourfriendship.

MythankfulcomplimentstoyourgoodMr.Hickman,towhosekindinventionIamsomuchobligedonthisoccasion,concludeme,mydearestMissHowe,

YoureveraffectionateandgratefulCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERIX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,MAY30.

IhavealetterfromLordM.SuchaoneasIwouldwishfor,ifIintendedmatrimony.Butasmattersarecircumstanced,Icannotthinkofshowingittomybeloved.

MyLordregrets,'thatheisnottobetheLady'snuptialfather.HeseemsapprehensivethatIhavestill,speciousasmyreasonsare,somemischiefinmyhead.'

Hegraciouslyconsents,'thatImaymarrywhenIplease;andoffersone

orbothofmycousinstoassistmybride,andtosupportherspiritsontheoccasion;since,asheunderstands,sheissomuchafraidtoventurewithme.

'Pritchard,hetellsme,hashisfinalorderstodrawupdeedsforassigningovertome,inperpetuity,1000Â£.perannum:whichhewillexecutethesamehourthattheladyinpersonownshermarriage.'

Heconsents,'thatthejointurebemadefrommyownestate.'



Hewishes,'thattheLadywouldhaveacceptedofhisdraught;andcommendsmefortenderingittoher.Butreproachesmeformyprideinnotkeepingitmyself.Whattherightsidegivesup,theleft,hesays,maybethebetterfor.'

Thegirls,theleft-sidedgirls,hemeans.

Withallmyheart.IfIcanhavemyClarissa,thedeviltakeeverythingelse.

Agooddealofotherstuffwritesthestupidpeer;scribblinginseveralplaceshalfadozenlines,apparentlyfornootherreasonbuttobringinasmanymustywordsinanoldsaw.

Ifthousawest,'HowIcanmanage,sincemybelovedwillwonderthatIhavenotananswerfrommyLordtosuchaletterasIwrotetohim;andifIownIhaveone,willexpectthatIshouldshewittoher,asIdidmyletter?--ThisIanswer--'ThatIcanbeinformedbyPritchard,thatmyLordhasthegoutinhisright-hand;andhasorderedhimtoattendmeinform,formyparticularordersaboutthetransfer:'AndIcanseePritchard,thouknowest,attheKing'sArms,orwhereverIplease,atanhour'swarning;thoughhebeatM.Hall,Iintown;andhe,bywordofmouth,canacquaintmewitheverythinginmyLord'sletterthatisnecessaryformycharmertoknow.

Wheneveritsuitsme,Icanresolvetheoldpeertohisrighthand,andthencanmakehimwriteamuchmoresensibleletterthanthisthathehasnowsentme.

Thouknowest,thatanadroitnessintheartofmanualimitation,wasoneofmyearliestattainments.Ithasbeensaid,onthisoccasion,thathadIbeenabadmaninmeumandtuummatters,Ishouldnothavebeenfittolive.Astothegirls,weholditnosintocheatthem.Andarewenottold,thatinbeingwelldeceivedconsiststhewholeofhumanhappiness?

WEDNESDAY,MAY31.

Allstillhappierandhappier.Averyhighhonourdoneme:achariot,insteadofacoach,permitted,purposelytoindulgemeinthesubjectofsubjects.

Ourdiscourseinthissweetairingturneduponourfuturemanneroflife.Thedayisbashfullypromisedme.Soonwastheanswertomyrepeatedurgency.Ourequipage,ourservants,ourliveries,werepartsofthedelightfulsubject.Adesirethatthewretchwhohadgivenmeintelligenceoutofthefamily(honestJosephLeman)mightnotbeoneofourmenials;andherresolutiontohaveherfaithfulHannah,whetherrecoveredornot;weresignified;andbothasreadilyassentedto.

Herwishes,frommyattentivebehaviour,whenwithheratSt.Paul's,*thatIwouldoftenaccompanyhertotheDivineService,weregreatlyintimated,andasreadilyengagedfor.Iassuredher,thatIeverhadrespectedtheclergyinabody;andsomeindividualsofthem(herDr.Lewenforone)highly:andthatwerenotgoingtochurchanactofreligion,Ithoughtit[asItoldtheeonce]amostagreeablesighttoseerichandpoor,allofacompany,asImightsay,assembledonceaweekinoneplace,andeachinhisorherbestattire,toworshiptheGodthatmadethem.Norcoulditbeahardshipuponamanliberallyeducated,tomakeoneonsosolemnanoccasion,andtoheartheharangue



ofamanofletters,(thoughfarfrombeingtheprincipalpartoftheservice,asitistoogenerallylookedupontobe,)whosestudieshavingtakenadifferentturnfromhisown,hemustalwayshavesomethingnewtosay.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterV.**Ibid.

Sheshookherhead,andrepeatedthewordnew:butlookedasifwillingtobesatisfiedforthepresentwiththisanswer.Tobesure,Jack,shemeanstodogreatdespighttohisSatanicmajestyinherhopesofreformingme.Nowonder,therefore,ifheexertshimselftopreventher,andtoberevenged.Buthowcamethisin!--Iameverofpartyagainstmyself.--Oneday,Ifancy,IshallhatemyselfonrecollectingwhatIamaboutatthisinstant.ButImuststaytillthen.Wemustallofusdosomethingtorepentof.

Thereconciliation-prospectwasenlargedupon.IfheruncleHarlowewillbutpavethewaytoit,andifitcanbebroughtabout,sheshallbehappy.--Happy,withasigh,asitisnowpossibleshecanbe!

Shewon'tforbear,Jack!

Itoldher,thatIhadheardfromPritchard,justbeforewesetoutonourairing,andexpectedhimintownto-morrowfromLordM.totakemydirections.IspokewithgratitudeofmyLord'skindnesstome;andwithpleasureofLadySarah's,LadyBetty's,andmytwocousinsMontague'svenerationforher:asalsoofhisLordship'sconcernthathisgouthinderedhimfromwritingareplywithhisownhandtomylast.

ShepitiedmyLord.ShepitiedpoorMrs.Fretchvilletoo;forshehadthegoodnesstoinquireafterher.Thedearcreaturepitiedeverybodythatseemedtowantpity.Happyinherownprospects,shehadleisuretolookabroad,andwisheseverybodyequallyhappy.

ItislikelytogoveryhardwithMrs.Fretchville.Herface,whichshehadvaluedherselfupon,willbeutterlyruined.'Thisgood,however,asIcouldnotbutobserve,shemayreapfromsogreatanevil--asthegreatermaladygenerallyswallowsuptheless,shemayhaveagriefonthisoccasion,thatmaydiminishtheothergrief,andmakeittolerable.'

Ihadagentlereprimandforthislightturnonsoheavyanevil--'Forwhatwasthelossofbeautytothelossofagoodhusband?'--Excellentcreature!

Herhopes(andherpleasureuponthosehopes)thatMissHowe'smotherwouldbereconciledtoher,werealsomentioned.GoodMrs.Howewasherword,forawomansocovetous,andsoremorselessinhercovetousness,

thatnooneelsewillcallhergood.Butthisdearcreaturehassuchanextensioninherlove,astobecapableofvaluingthemostinsignificantanimalrelatedtothosewhomsherespects.Loveme,andlovemydog,IhaveheardLordM.say.--Whoknows,butthatImayintime,incomplimenttomyself,bringhertothinkwellofthee,Jack?

ButwhatamIabout?AmInotallthistimearraigningmyownheart?--IknowIam,bytheremorseIfeelinit,whilemypenbearstestimonytoherexcellence.ButyetImustadd(fornoselfishconsiderationshallhindermefromdoingjusticetothisadmirablecreature)thatinthis



conversationshedemonstratedsomuchprudentknowledgeineverythingthatrelatestothatpartofthedomesticmanagementwhichfallsunderthecareofamistressofafamily,thatIbelieveshehasnoequalofheryearsintheworld.

But,indeed,Iknownotthesubjectonwhichshedoesnottalkwithadmirabledistinction;insomuchthatcouldIbutgetovermyprejudicesagainstmatrimony,andresolvetowalkinthedullbeatenpathofmyancestors,Ishouldbethehappiestofmen--andifIcannot,Imaybetentimesmoretobepitiedthanshe.

Myheart,myheart,Belford,isnottobetrusted--Ibreakoff,tore-perusesomeofMissHowe'svirulence.

***

Cursedletters,theseofMissHowe,Jack!--Dothouturnbacktothoseofmine,whereItakenoticeofthem--Iproceed--

Uponthewhole,mycharmerwasallgentleness,allease,allserenity,throughoutthissweetexcursion.Norhadshereasontobeotherwise:foritbeingthefirsttimethatIhadthehonourofhercompanyalone,Iwas

resolvedtoencourageher,bymyrespectfulness,torepeatthefavour.Onourreturn,Ifoundthecounsellor'sclerkwaitingforme,withadraughtofthemarriage-settlements.

Theyaredrawn,withonlythenecessaryvariations,fromthosemadeformymother.Theoriginalofwhich(nowreturnedbythecounsellor)aswellasthenewdraughts,Ihaveputintomybeloved'shands.

Thesesettlementsofmymothermadethelawyer'sworkeasy;norcanshehaveabetterprecedent;thegreatLordS.havingsettledthem,attherequestofmymother'srelations;allthedifference,mycharmer'sare100l.perannummorethanmymother's.

Iofferedtoreadtohertheolddeed,whileshelookedoverthedraught;forshehadrefusedherpresenceattheexaminationwiththeclerk:butthisshealsodeclined.

Isupposeshedidnotcaretohearofsomanychildren,first,second,third,fourth,fifth,sixth,andseventhsons,andasmanydaughters,tobebegottenuponthebodyofthesaidClarissaHarlowe.

Charmingmatrimonialrecitativoes!--thoughitisalwayssaidlawfullybegottentoo--asifamancouldbegetchildrenunlawfullyuponthebodyofhisownwife.--Butthinkestthounotthatthesearchroguesthelawyersherebyintimate,thatamanmayhavechildrenbyhiswifebefore

marriage?--Thismustbewhattheymean.Whywilltheseslyfellowsputanhonestmaninmindsofsuchrogueries?--buthence,asinnumberlessotherinstances,wesee,thatlawandgospelaretwoverydifferentthings.

Dorcas,inourabsence,triedtogetatthewainscot-boxinthedarkcloset.Butitcannotbedonewithoutviolence.Andtorunariskofconsequencenow,formerecuriosity-sake,wouldbeinexcusable.

Mrs.Sinclairandthenymphsareallofopinion,thatIamnowsomucha



favourite,andhavesuchavisibleshareinherconfidence,andeveninheraffections,thatImaydowhatIwill,andpleadforexcuseviolenceofpassion;which,theywillhaveit,makesviolenceofactionpardonablewiththeirsex;aswellasallowedextenuationwiththeunconcernedofbothsexes;andtheyalloffertheirhelpinghands.Whynot?theysay:Hasshenotpassedformywifebeforethemall?--Andisshenotinafinewayofbeingreconciledtoherfriends?--Andwasnotthewantofthatreconciliationthepretenceforpostponingtheconsummation?

Theyagainurgeme,sinceitissodifficulttomakenightmyfriend,toanattemptintheday.Theyremindme,thatthesituationoftheirhouseissuch,thatnonoisescanbeheardoutofit;andridiculemeformakingitnecessaryforaladytobeundressed.Itwasnotalwayssowithme,pooroldman!Sallytoldme;saucilyflingingherhandkerchiefinmyface.

LETTERX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,JUNE2.

Notwithstandingmystudied-forpolitenessandcomplaisanceforsomedayspast;andthoughIhavewantedcouragetothrowthemaskquiteaside;yetIhavemadethedearcreaturemorethanoncelookabouther,bythewarm,thoughdecentexpressionofmypassion.Ihavebroughthertoown,thatIammorethanindifferentwithher:butastoLOVE,whichIpressedhertoacknowledge,whatneedofacknowledgmentsofthatsort,whenawomanconsentstomarrying?--Andoncerepulsingmewithdispleasure,theproofoftrueloveIwasvowingforher,wasRESPECT,notFREEDOM.Andofferingtodefendmyself,shetoldme,thatalltheconceptionshehadbeenabletoformofafaultypassion,was,thatitmustdemonstrateitselfasminesoughttodo.

Iendeavouredtojustifymypassion,bylayingover-delicacyatherdoor.

Over-delicacy,shesaid,wasnotmyfault,ifitwereher's.Shemustplainlytellme,thatIappearedtoherincapableofdistinguishingwhatweretherequisitesofapuremind.Perhaps,hadthelibertinepresumptiontoimagine,thattherewasnodifferenceinheart,noranybutwhatproceededfromdifferenceofeducationandcustom,betweenthepureandimpure--andyetcustomalone,assheobserved,ifIdidsothink,wouldmakeasecondnature,aswellingoodasinbadhabits.

***

Ihavejustnowbeencalledtoaccountforsomeinnocentlibertieswhich

Ithoughtmyselfentitledtotakebeforethewomen;astheysupposeustobemarried,andnowwithinviewofconsummation.

Itookthelectureveryhardly;andwithimpatiencewishedforthehappydayandhourwhenImightcallherallmyown,andmeetwithnocheckfromanicenessthathadnoexample.

Shelookedatmewithabashfulkindofcontempt.Ithoughtitcontempt,andrequiredthereasonforit;notbeingconsciousofoffence,asItoldher.



Thisisnotthefirsttime,Mr.Lovelace,saidshe,thatIhavehadcausetobedispleasedwithyou,whenyou,perhaps,havenotthoughtyourselfexceptionable.--But,Sir,letmetellyou,thatthemarriedstate,inmyeye,isastateofpurity,and[Ithinkshetoldme]notoflicentiousness;so,atleast,Iunderstoodher.

Marriage-purity,Jack!--Verycomical,'faith--yet,sweetdears,halfthefemaleworldreadytorunawaywitharake,becauseheisarake;andfornootherreason;nay,everyotherreasonagainsttheirchoiceofsuchaone.

ButhavenotyouandI,Belford,seenyoungwives,whowouldbethoughtmodest!and,whenmaids,werefantasticallyshy;permitfreedomsinpublicfromtheiruxorioushusbands,whichhaveshown,thatbothofthemhaveforgottenwhatbelongseithertoprudenceordecency?whileeverymodesteyehassunkundertheshamelesseffrontery,andeverymodestfacebeencoveredwithblushesforthosewhocouldnotblush.

Ionce,uponsuchanoccasion,proposedtoacircleofadozen,thusscandalized,towithdraw;sincetheymustneedsseethataswellthelady,asthegentleman,wantedtobeinprivate.Thismotionhaditseffectupontheamorouspair;andIwasapplaudedforthecheckgiventotheirlicentiousness.

But,uponanotheroccasionofthissort,Iactedalittlemoreincharacter.ForIventuredtomakeanattemptuponabride,whichIshouldnothavehadthecouragetomake,hadnottheunblushingpassivenesswithwhichshereceivedherfondhusband'spublictoyings(lookingroundherwithtriumphratherthanwithshame,uponeveryladypresent)incitedmycuriositytoknowifthesamecomplacencymightnotbeshowntoaprivatefriend.'Tistrue,Iwasinhonourobligedtokeepthesecret.ButIneversawtheturtlesbillafterwards,butIthoughtofnumbertwotothesamefemale;andinmyheartthankedthefondhusbandforthelessonhehadtaughthiswife.

FromwhatIhavesaid,thouwiltsee,thatIapproveofmybeloved's

exceptiontopublicloves.That,Ihope,isallthecharmingiciclemeansbymarriage-purity,buttoreturn.

FromthewholeofwhatIhavementionedtohavepassedbetweenmybelovedandme,thouwiltgather,thatIhavenotbeenameredangler,aHickman,inthepasseddays,thoughnotabsolutelyactive,andaLovelace.

Thedearcreaturenowconsidersherselfasmywife-elect.Theunsaddenedheart,nolongerprudish,willnotnow,Ihope,givethesableturntoeveryaddressofthemanshedislikesnot.Andyetshemustkeepupsomuchreserve,aswilljustifypastinflexibilities.'Manyandmanyaprettysoulwouldyield,wereshenotafraidthatthemanshefavouredwouldthinktheworseofherforit.'Thatisalsoapartoftherake's

creed.Butshouldsheresenteversostrongly,shecannotnowbreakwithme;since,ifshedoes,therewillbeanendofthefamilyreconciliation;andthatinawayhighlydiscreditabletoherself.

SATURDAY,JUNE3.

JustreturnedfromDoctorsCommons.Ihavebeenendeavouringtogetalicense.Verytrue,Jack.Ihavethemortificationtofindadifficulty,astheladyisofrankandfortune,andasthereisno



consentoffatherornextfriend,inobtainingthisall-fetteringinstrument.

Imadereportofthisdifficulty.'Itisveryright,'shesays,'thatsuchdifficultiesshouldbemade.'--Butnottoamanofmyknownfortune,surely,Jack,thoughthewomanwerethedaughterofaduke.

Iasked,ifsheapprovedofthesettlements?Shesaid,shehadcomparedthemwithmymother's,andhadnoobjectiontothem.ShehadwrittentoMissHoweuponthesubject,sheowned;andtoinformherofourpresentsituation.*

*AsthisletteroftheLadytoMissHowecontainsnonewmatter,butwhatmaybecollectedfromoneofthoseofMr.Lovelace,itisomitted.

***

Justnow,inhighgoodhumour,mybelovedreturnedmethedraughtsofthesettlements:acopyofwhichIhavesenttoCaptainTomlinson.Shecomplimentedme,'thatsheneverhadanydoubtofmyhonourincasesofthisnature.'

Inmattersbetweenmanandmannobodyeverhad,thouknowest.

Ihadneed,thouwiltsay,tohavesomegoodqualities.

Greatfaultsandgreatvirtuesareoftenfoundinthesameperson.Innothingverybad,butastowomen:anddidnotoneofthembeginwithme.*

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXXI.

Wehaveheld,thatwomenhavenosouls.IamaveryTurkinthispoint,andwillingtobelievetheyhavenot.Andifso,towhomshallIbeaccountableforwhatIdotothem?Nay,ifsoulstheyhave,asthereisnosexinethereals,norneedofany,whatpleacanaladyholdofinjuriesdoneherinherlady-state,whenthereisanendofherlady-ship?

LETTERXI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAY,JUNE5.

Iamnowalmostindespairofsucceedingwiththischarmingfrost-piecebyloveorgentleness.--Acopyofthedraughts,asItoldthee,hasbeensenttoCaptainTomlinson;andthatbyaspecialmessenger.Engrossmentsareproceedingwith.IhavebeenagainattheCommons.--ShouldinallprobabilityhaveprocuredalicensebyMallory'smeans,hadnotMallory'sfriend,theproctor,beensuddenlysentfortoChestnut,tomakeanoldlady'swill.Pritchardhastoldmebywordofmouth,thoughmycharmersawhimnot,allthatwasnecessaryforhertoknowinthelettermyLord



wrote,whichIcouldnotshowher:andtakenmydirectionsabouttheestatestobemadeovertomeonmynuptials.--Yet,withallthesefavourableappearances,noconcedingmomenttobefound,noimprovabletendernesstoberaised.

Butnever,Ibelieve,wastheresotrue,sodelicateamodestyinthehumanmindasinthatofthislady.Andthishasbeenmysecurityallalong;and,inspiteofMissHowe'sadvicetoher,willbesostill;since,ifherdelicacybeafault,shecannomoreovercomeitthanIcanmyaversiontomatrimony.Habit,habit,Jack,seestthounot?maysubjectusbothtoweaknesses.Andshouldshenothavecharityforme,asIhaveforher?

Twiceindeedwithrapture,whichonceshecalledrude,didIsaluteher;andeachtimeresentingthefreedom,didsheretire;though,todoherjustice,shefavouredmeagainwithherpresenceatmyfirstentreaty,andtooknonoticeofthecauseofherwithdrawing.

Isitpolicytoshowsoopenaresentmentforinnocentliberties,which,inhersituation,shemustsosoonforgive?

Yetthewomanwhoresentsnotinitiatoryfreedomsmustbelost.Forloveisanencroacher.Lovenevergoesbackward.Loveisalwaysaspiring.Alwaysmustaspire.Nothingbutthehighestactoflovecansatisfyan

indulgedlove.Andwhatadvantageshasalover,whovaluesnotbreakingthepeace,overhismistresswhoissolicitoustokeepit!

Ihavenowatthisinstantwroughtmyselfup,forthedozenthtime,toahalf-resolution.AthousandagreeablethingsIhavetosaytoher.Sheisinthedining-room.Justgoneup.Shealwaysexpectsmewhenthere.

***

Highdispleasure!--followedbyanabruptdeparture.

Isatdownbyher.Itookbothherhandsinmine.Iwouldhaveitso.Allgentlemyvoice.Herfathermentionedwithrespect.Hermotherwithreverence.Evenherbrotheramicablyspokenof.IneverthoughtIcouldhavewishedsoardently,asItoldherIdidwish,forareconciliationwithherfamily.

Asweetandgratefulflushthenoverspreadherfairface;agentlesighnow-and-thenheavedherhandkerchief.

IperfectlylongedtohearfromCaptainTomlinson.Itwasimpossiblefortheuncletofindfaultwiththedraughtofthesettlements.Iwouldnot,however,beunderstood,bysendingthemdown,thatIintendedtoputitinheruncle'spowertodelaymyhappyday.When,whenwasittobe?

IwouldhastenagaintotheCommons;andwouldnotreturnwithoutthelicense.

TheLawnIproposedtoretireto,assoonasthehappyceremonywasover.ThisdayandthatdayIproposed.

Itwastimeenoughtonametheday,whenthesettlementswerecompleted,andthelicenseobtained.Happyshouldshebe,couldthekindCaptainTomlinsonobtainheruncle'spresenceprivately.



Agoodhint!--Itmayperhapsbeimprovedupon--eitherforadelayorapacifier.

NonewdelaysforHeaven'ssake,Ibesoughther;andreproachedhergentlyforthepast.Namebuttheday--(anearlyday,Ihopeditwouldbe,inthefollowingweek)--thatImighthailitsapproach,andnumberthetardyhours.

Mycheekreclinedonhershoulder--kissingherhandsbyturns.Ratherbashfullythanangrilyreluctant,herhandssoughttobewithdrawn;hershoulderavoidingmyreclinedcheek--apparentlyloth,andmorelothtoquarrelwithme;herdowncasteyeconfessingmorethanherlipscanutter.Nowsurely,thoughtI,ismytimetotryifshecanforgiveastillbolderfreedomthanIhadeveryettaken.

Ithengaveherstrugglinghandsliberty.Iputonearmroundherwaist:Iimprintedakissonhersweetlip,withaBequietonly,andanavertedface,asifshefearedanother.

Encouragedbysogentlearepulse,thetenderestthingsIsaid;andthen,withmyotherhand,drewasidethehandkerchiefthatconcealedthebeautyofbeauties,andpressedwithmyburninglipsthemostcharmingbreastthatevermyravishedeyesbeheld.

Averycontrarypassiontothatwhichgaveherbosomsodelightfulaswell,immediatelytookplace.Shestruggledoutofmyencirclingarmswithindignation.Idetainedherreluctanthand.Letmego,saidshe.Iseethereisnokeepingtermswithyou.Baseencroacher!Isthisthedesignofyourflatteringspeeches?Farasmattershavegone,Iwillforeverrenounceyou.Youhaveanodiousheart.Letmego,Itellyou.

Iwasforcedtoobey,andsheflungfromme,repeatingbase,andaddingflattering,encroacher.

***

InvainhaveIurgedbyDorcasforthepromisedfavourofdiningwithher.Shewouldnotdineatall.Shecouldnot.

Butwhymakessheeveryinchofherpersonthussacred?--Sonearthetimetoo,thatshemustsuppose,thatallwillbemyownbydeedofpurchaseandsettlement?

Shehasread,nodoubt,oftheartoftheeasternmonarchs,whosequesterthemselvesfromtheeyesoftheirsubjects,inordertoexcitetheiradoration,when,uponsomesolemnoccasions,theythinkfittoappearinpublic.

Butletmeaskthee,Belford,whether(onthesesolemnoccasions)theprecedingcavalcade;hereagreaterofficer,andthereagreatminister,withtheirsatellites,andglaringequipages;donotpreparetheeyesofthewonderingbeholders,bydegrees,tobeartheblazeofcanopy'dmajesty(whatthoughbutanuglyoldmanperhapshimself?yet)glitteringinthecollectedrichesofhisvastempire?

Andshouldnotmybeloved,forherownsake,descend,bydegrees,fromgoddess-hoodintohumanity?Ifitbepridethatrestrainsher,oughtnot



thatpridetobepunished?If,asintheeasternemperors,itbeartaswellaspride,artiswhatsheofallwomenneednotuse.Ifshame,whatashametobeashamedtocommunicatetoheradorer'ssightthemostadmirableofherpersonalgraces?

Letmeperish,Belford,ifIwouldnotforegothebrightestdiademintheworld,forthepleasureofseeingatwinLovelaceateachcharmingbreast,drawingfromithisfirstsustenance;thepioustask,forphysicalreasons,*continuedforonemonthandnomore!

*InPamela,Vol.III.LetterXXXII.thesereasonsaregiven,andareworthyofeveryparent'sconsideration,asisthewholeLetter,whichcontainsthedebatebetweenMr.B.andhisPamela,ontheimportantsubjectofmothersbeingnursestotheirownchildren.

Inow,methinks,beholdthismostcharmingofwomeninthissweetoffice:herconsciouseyenowdroptonone,nowontheother,withasighofmaternaltenderness,andthenraiseduptomydelightedeye,fullofwishes,forthesakeoftheprettyvarlets,andforherownsake,thatIwoulddeigntolegitimate;thatIwouldcondescendtoputonthenuptialfetters.

LETTERXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAYAFTERNOON.

AletterreceivedfromtheworthyCaptainTomlinsonhasintroducedmeintothepresenceofmycharmersoonerthanperhapsIshouldotherwisehavebeenadmitted.

Sullenherbrow,atherfirstentranceintothedining-room.ButItook

nonoticeofwhathadpassed,andherangerofitselfsubsided.

'TheCaptain,afterlettingmeknowthathechosenottowritetillhehadpromisedthedraughtofthesettlements,acquaintme,thathisfriendMr.JohnHarlowe,intheirfirstconference(whichwasheldassoonashegotdown)wasextremelysurprised,andevengrieved(ashefearedhewouldbe)tohearthatwewerenotmarried.Theworld,hesaid,whoknewmycharacter,wouldbeverycensorious,wereitowned,thatwehadlivedsolongtogetherunmarriedinthesamelodgings;althoughourmarriagewerenowtobeeversopubliclycelebrated.

'HisnephewJames,hewassure,wouldmakeagreathandleofitagainstanymotionthatmightbemadetowardsareconciliation;andwiththe

greatersuccess,astherewasnotafamilyinthekingdommorejealousoftheirhonourthantheirs.'

ThisistrueoftheHarlowes,Jack:theyhavebeencalledTheproudHarlowes:andIhaveeverfound,thatallyounghonourissuperciliousandtouchy.

ButseestthounothowrightIwasinmyendeavourtopersuademyfair-onetoallowheruncle'sfriendtothinkusmarried;especiallyashecamepreparedtobelieveit;andasherunclehopeditwasso?--But



nothingonearthissoperverseasawoman,whensheissetuponcarryingapoint,andhasameekman,oronewholoveshispeace,todealwith.

Mybelovedwasvexed.Shepulledoutherhandkerchief:butwasmoreinclinedtoblamemethanherself.

Hadyoukeptyourword,Mr.Lovelace,andleftmewhenwecametotown--Andthereshestopt;forsheknew,thatitwasherownfaultthatwewerenotmarriedbeforeweleftthecountry;andhowcouldIleaveherafterwards,whileherbrotherwasplottingtocarryheroffbyviolence?

Norhasthisbrotheryetgivenoverhismachinations.

For,astheCaptainproceeds,'Mr.JohnHarloweownedtohim(butinconfidence)thathisnephewisatthistimebusiedinendeavouringtofindoutwhereweare;beingassured(asIamnottobeheardofatanyofmyrelations,oratmyusuallodgings)thatwearetogether.Andthatwearenotmarriedisplain,ashewillhaveit,fromMr.Hickman'sapplicationsolatelymadetoheruncle;andwhichwassecondedbyMrs.Nortontohermother.AndherbrothercannotbearthatIshouldenjoysuchatriumphunmolested.'

Aprofoundsigh,andthehandkerchiefagainliftedtotheeye.Butdidnotthesweetsouldeservethisturnuponher,forfeloniouslyresolving

torobmeofherself,hadtheapplicationmadebyHickmansucceeded?Ireadontothefollowingeffect:

'Why(askedMr.Harlowe)wasitsaidtohisotherinquiringfriend,thatweweremarried;andthatbyhisniece'swoman,whooughttoknow?whocouldgiveconvincingreasons,nodoubt'--

Hereagainshewept;tookaturnacrosstheroom;thenreturned--Readon,saysshe--

Willyou,mydearestlife,readityourself?

Iwilltaketheletterwithme,by-and-by--Icannotseetoreaditjustnow,wipinghereyes--readon--letmehearitall--thatImayknowyoursentimentsuponthisletter,aswellasgivemyown.

'TheCaptainthentolduncleJohnthereasonsthatinducedmetogiveoutthatweweremarried;andtheconditionsonwhichmybelovedwasbroughttocountenanceit;whichhadkeptusatthemostpunctiliousdistance.

'ButstillMr.Harloweobjectedmycharacter.Andwentawaydissatisfied.AndtheCaptainwasalsosomuchconcerned,thathecarednottowritewhattheresultofhisfirstconferencewas.

'Butinthenext,whichwasheldonreceiptofthedraughts,atthe

Captain'shouse,(astheformerwas,forthegreatersecrecy,)whentheoldgentlemanhadreadthem,andhadtheCaptain'sopinion,hewasmuchbetterpleased.Andyethedeclared,thatitwouldnotbeeasytopersuadeanyotherpersonofhisfamilytobelievesofavourablyofthematter,ashewasnowwillingtobelieve,weretheytoknowthatwehadlivedsolongtogetherunmarried.

'AndthentheCaptainsays,hisdearfriendmadeaproposal:--Itwasthis--Thatweshouldmarryoutofhand,butasprivatelyaspossible,asindeedhefoundweintended,(forhecouldhavenoobjectiontothe



draughts)--butyet,heexpectedtohavepresentonetrustyfriendofhisown,forhisbettersatisfaction'--

HereIstopt,withadesigntobeangry--butshedesiringmetoreadon,Iobeyed.

'--Butthatitshouldpasstoeveryoneliving,excepttothattrustyperson,tohimself,andtotheCaptain,thatweweremarriedfromthetimethatwehadlivedtogetherinonehouse;andthatthistimeshouldbemadetoagreewiththatofMr.Hickman'sapplicationtohimfromMissHowe.'

This,mydearestlife,saidI,isaveryconsiderateproposal.Wehavenothingtodobuttocautionthepeoplebelowproperlyonthishead.IdidnotthinkyouruncleHarlowecapableofhittinguponsuchacharmingexpedientasthis.Butyouseehowmuchhisheartisinthereconciliation.

ThiswasthereturnImetwith--Youhavealways,asamarkofyourpoliteness,letmeknowhowmeanlyyouthinkofeveryoneinmyfamily.

Yetthouwiltthink,Belford,thatIcouldforgiveherforthereproach.

'TheCaptaindoesnotknow,sayshe,howthisproposalwillberelished

byus.Butforhispart,hethinksitanexpedientthatwillobviatemanydifficulties,andmaypossiblyputanendtoMr.JamesHarlowe'sfurtherdesigns:andonthisaccounthehas,bytheuncle'sadvice,alreadydeclaredtotwoseveralpersons,bywhosemeansitmaycometothatyounggentleman's,thathe[CaptainTomlinson]hasverygreatreasontobelievethatweweremarriedsoonafterMr.Hickman'sapplicationwasrejected.

'Andthis,Mr.Lovelace,(saystheCaptain,)willenableyoutopayacomplimenttothefamily,thatwillnotbeunsuitabletothegenerosityofsomeofthedeclarationsyouwerepleasedtomaketotheladybeforeme,(andwhichMr.JohnHarlowemaymakesomeadvantageofinfavourofareconciliation,)inthatyouwereentitledtomakethedemand.'An

excellentcontriver,surely,shemustthinkthisworthyMr.Tomlinsontobe!

ButtheCaptainadds,'thatifeithertheladyorIdisapproveofhisreportofourmarriage,hewillretractit.Nevertheless,hemusttellme,thatMr.JohnHarloweisverymuchsetuponthiswayofproceeding;astheonlyone,inhisopinion,capableofbeingimprovedintoageneralreconciliation.Butifwedoacquiesceinit,hebeseechesmyfair-onenottosuspendmyday,thathemaybeauthorizedinwhathesays,astothetruthofthemainfact.[Howconscientiousthisgoodman!]Normustitbeexpected,hesays,thatherunclewilltakeonesteptowardsthewished-forreconciliation,tillthesolemnityisactuallyover.'

Headds,'thatheshallbeverysoonintownonotheraffairs;andthenproposestoattendus,andgiveusamoreparticularaccountofallthathaspassed,orshallfurtherpass,betweenMr.Harloweandhim.'

Well,mydearestlife,whatsayyoutoyouruncle'sexpedient?ShallIwritetotheCaptain,andacquainthim,thatwehavenoobjectiontoit?

Shewassilentforafewminutes.Atlast,withasigh,See,Mr.Lovelace,saidshe,whatyouhavebroughtmeto,bytreadingafteryouinsuchcrookedpaths!--SeewhatdisgraceIhaveincurred!--Indeedyouhave



notactedlikeawiseman.

Mybelovedcreature,doyounotremember,howearnestlyIbesoughtthehonourofyourhandbeforewecametotown?--HadIbeenthenfavoured--

Well,well,Sir;therehasbeenmuchamisssomewhere;that'sallIwillsayatpresent.Andsincewhat'spastcannotberecalled,myunclemustbeobeyed,Ithink.

Charminglydutiful!--Ihadnothingthentodo,thatImightnotbebehind-handwiththeworthyCaptainandheruncle,buttopressfortheday.ThisIferventlydid.But(asImighthaveexpected)sherepeatedherformeranswer;towit,Thatwhenthesettlementswerecompleted;whenthelicensewasactuallyobtained;itwouldbetimeenoughtonametheday:and,OMr.Lovelace,saidshe,turningfrommewithagraceinimitablytender,herhandkerchiefathereyes,whatahappiness,ifmydearunclecouldbeprevailedupontobepersonallyafather,onthisoccasion,tothepoorfatherlessgirl!

What'sthematterwithme!--Whencethisdew-drop!--Atear!--AsIhopetobesaved,itisatear,Jack!--Veryreadymethinks!--Onlyonreciting!--Butherlovelyimagewasbeforeme,intheveryattitudeshespokethewords--andindeedatthetimeshespokethem,theselinesofShakespearecameintomyhead:

Thyheartisbig.Gettheeapartandweep!Passion,Isee,iscatching:--Formyeye,Seeingthosebeadsofsorrowstandinthine,Begintowater--

Iwithdrew,andwrotetotheCaptaintothefollowingeffect--'Idesiredthathewouldbesogoodastoacquainthisdearfriendthatweentirelyacquiescedwithwhathehadproposed;andhadalreadyproperlycautionedthegentlewomenofthehouse,andtheirservants,aswellasourown:andtotellhim,Thatifhewouldinpersongivemetheblessingofhisdearniece'shand,itwouldcrownthewishesofboth.Inthiscase,Iconsented,thathisownday,asIpresumeditwouldbeashortone,

shouldbeours:thatbythismeansthesecretwouldbewithfewerpersons:thatImyself,aswellashe,thoughttheceremonycouldnotbetooprivatelyperformed;andthisnotonlyforthesakeofthewiseendhehadproposedtoanswerbyit,butbecauseIwouldnothaveLordM.thinkhimselfslighted;sincethatnobleman,asIhadtoldhim[theCaptain]hadonceintendedtobeournuptial-father;andactuallymadetheoffer;butthatwehaddeclinedtoacceptofit,andthatfornootherreasonthantoavoidapublicwedding;whichhisbelovedniecewouldnotcomeinto,whileshewasindisgracewithherfriends.Butthatifhechosenottodousthishonour,IwishedthatCaptainTomlinsonmightbethetrustypersonwhomhewouldhavebepresentonthehappyoccasion.'

Ishowedthislettertomyfair-one.Shewasnotdispleasedwithit.So,Jack,wecannotnowmovetoofast,astosettlementsandlicense:thedayisheruncle'sday,orCaptainTomlinson's,perhaps,asshallbestsuittheoccasion.MissHowe'ssmugglingschemeisnowsurelyprovidedagainstinallevents.

ButIwillnotbyanticipationmaketheeajudgeofallthebenefitsthatmayflowfromthismyelaboratecontrivance.Whywillthesegirlsputmeuponmymaster-strokes?



AndnowforalittleminewhichIamgettingreadytospring.ThefirstthatIhavesprung,andattherateIgoon(nowaresolution,andnowaremorse)perhapsthelastthatIshallattempttospring.

Alittlemine,Icallit.Butitmaybeattendedwithgreateffects.Ishallnot,however,absolutelydependuponthesuccessofit,havingmuchmoreeffectualonesinreserve.Andyetgreatenginesareoftenmovedbysmallsprings.Alittlesparkfallingbyaccidentintoapowder-magazine,hathdonemoreexecutioninasiege,thananhundredcannon.

Cometheworst,thehymenealtorch,andawhitesheet,mustbemyamendehonorable,astheFrenchhaveit.

LETTERXIII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.TUESDAY,JUNE6.

Unsuccessfulashithertomyapplicationtoyouhasbeen,Icannotfortheheartofmeforbearwritingoncemoreinbehalfofthisadmirablewoman:andyetamunabletoaccountforthezealwhichimpelsmetotakeherpartwithanearnestnesssosincere.

Butallhermeritthouacknowledgest;allthyownvilenessthouconfessest,andevengloriestinit:Whathopethenofmovingsohardenedaman?--Yet,asitisnottoolate,andthouartneverthelessuponthecrisis,Iamresolvedtotrywhatanotherletterwilldo.Itisbutmywritinginvain,ifitdonogood;andifthouwiltletmeprevail,Iknowthouwilthereafterthinkmerichlyentitledtothythanks.

Toarguewiththeewouldbefolly.Thecasecannotrequireit.Iwillonlyentreatthee,therefore,thatthouwiltnotletsuchanexcellencelosetherewardofhervigilantvirtue.

Ibelievethereneverwerelibertinessovile,butpurposed,atsome

futureperiodoftheirlives,tosetaboutreforming:andletmebegofthee,thatthouwilt,inthisgreatarticle,makethyfuturerepentanceaseasy,assometimehencethouwiltwishthouhadstmadeit.

Ifthouproceedest,Ihavenodoubtthatthisaffairwillendtragically,onewayoranother.Itmust.Suchawomanmustinterestbothgodsandmeninhercause.ButwhatImostapprehendis,thatwithherownhand,inresentmentoftheperpetratedoutrage,she(likeanotherLucretia)willassertthepurityofherheart:or,ifherpietypreserveherfromthisviolence,thatwastinggriefwillsoonputaperiodtoherdays.And,ineithercase,willnottheremembranceofthyever-duringguilt,andtransitorytriumph,beatormentoftormentstothee?

'Tisaseriouslysadthing,afterall,thatsofineacreatureshouldhavefallenintosuchvileandremorselesshands:for,fromthycradle,asIhaveheardtheeown,thoueverdelightedsttosportwithandtormenttheanimal,whetherbirdorbeast,thatthoulovedst,andhadstapowerover.

Howdifferentisthecaseofthisfinewomanfromthatofanyotherwhomthouhastseduced!--Ineednotmentiontothee,norinsistuponthestrikingdifference:justice,gratitude,thyinterest,thyvows,allengagingthee;andthoucertainlylovingher,asfarasthouartcapable



oflove,aboveallhersex.Shenottobedrawnasidebyart,ortobemadetosufferfromcredulity,norforwantofwitanddiscernment,(thatwillbeanothercuttingreflectiontosofineamindasher's:)thecontentionbetweenyouonlyunequal,asitisbetweennakedinnocenceandarmedguilt.Ineverythingelse,asthouownest,hertalentsgreatlysuperiortothine!--Whatafatewillher'sbe,ifthouartnotatlastovercomebythyreiteratedremorses!

Atfirst,indeed,whenIwasadmittedintoherpresence,*(andtillIobservedhermeaningair,andheardherspeak,)Isupposedthatshehadnoveryuncommonjudgmenttoboastof:forImade,asIthought,butjustallowancesforherblossomingyouth,andforthatlovelinessofperson,andforthateaseandeleganceinherdress,whichIimaginedmusthavetakenuphalfhertimeandstudytocultivate;andyetIhadbeenpreparedbytheetoentertainaveryhighopinionofhersenseandherreading.Herchoiceofthisgayfellow,uponsuchhazardousterms,(thoughtI,)isaconfirmationthatherwitwantsthatmaturitywhichonlyyearsandexperiencecangiveit.Herknowledge(arguedItomyself)mustbealltheory;andthecomplaisanceeverconsortingwithanagesogreenandsogay,willmakesoinexperiencedaladyatleastforbeartoshowherselfdisgustedatfreedomsofdiscourseinwhichthosepresentofherownsex,andsomeofours,(solearned,sowellread,andsotravelled,)allowthemselves.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterVII.

InthispresumptionIranon;andhavingtheadvantage,asIconceited,ofallthecompanybutyou,andbeingdesiroustoappearinhereyesamightycleverfellow,IthoughtIshowedaway,whenIsaidanyfoolishthingsthathadmoresoundthansenseinthem;andwhenImadesillyjests,whichattractedthesmilesofthySinclair,andthespeciousPartington:andthatMissHarlowedidnotsmiletoo,Ithoughtwasowingtoheryouthoraffectation,ortoamixtureofboth,perhapstoagreatercommandofherfeatures.--LittledreamtI,thatIwasincurringhercontemptallthetime.

Butwhen,asIsaid,Iheardherspeak,whichshedidnottillshehadfathomedusall;whenIheardhersentimentsontwoorthreesubjects,andtooknoticeofthesearchingeye,dartingintotheveryinmostcellsofourfrothybrains;bymyfaith,itmademelookaboutme;andIbegantorecollect,andbeashamedofallIhadsaidbefore;inshort,wasresolvedtositsilent,tilleveryonehadtalkedround,tokeepmyfollyincountenance.AndthenIraisedthesubjectsthatshecouldjoinin,andwhichshedidjoinin,somuchtotheconfusionandsurpriseofeveryoneofus!--Foreventhou,Lovelace,sonotedforsmartwit,repartee,andaveinofraillery,thatdelightethallwhocomenearthee,sattestinpalpabledarkness,andlookedstaboutthee,aswellaswe.

OneinstanceonlyofthisshallIremindtheeof.

Wetalkedofwit,andofit,andaimedatit,bandyingitlikeaballfromonetoanother,andrestingitchieflywiththee,whowertalwaysproudenoughandvainenoughoftheattribute;andthenmoreespeciallyasthouhadstassembledus,asfarasIknow,principallytoshowtheladythysuperiorityoverus;andusthytriumphoverher.AndthenTourville(whoisalwayssatisfiedwithwithatsecond-hand;wituponmemory:othermen'swit)repeatedsomeverses,asapplicabletothesubject;whichtwoofusapplauded,thoughfullofdoubleentendre.



Thou,seeingthelady'sseriousairononeofthoserepetitions,appliedstthyselftoher,desiringhernotionsofwit:aquality,thousaidst,whicheveryoneprized,whetherflowingfromhimself,orfoundinanother.

Thenitwasthatshetookallourattention.Itwasaqualitymuchtalkedof,shesaid,but,shebelieved,verylittleunderstood.Atleast,ifshemightbesofreeastogiveherjudgmentofitfromwhathadpassedinthepresentconversation,shemustsay,thatwitwithmenwasonething;withwomenanother.

Thisstartledusall:--Howthewomenlooked!--Howtheypursedtheirmouths;abroadsmilethemomentbeforeuponeach,fromtheversestheyhadheardrepeated,sowellunderstood,aswesaw,bytheirlooks!WhileIbesoughthertoletusknow,forourinstruction,whatwitwithwomen:forsuchIwassureitoughttobewithmen.

Cowley,shesaid,haddefineditprettilybynegatives.Thoudesiredsthertorepeathisdefinition.

Shedid;andwithsomuchgracefulease,andbeauty,andproprietyofaccent,aswouldhavemadebadpoetrydelightful.

Athousanddiff'rentshapesitbears;

Comelyinthousandshapesappears.'Tisnotatale,'tisnotajest,Admir'dwithlaughteratafeast,Norfloridtalk,whichmustthistitlegain:Theproofsofwitforevermustremain.MuchlesscanthathaveanyplaceAtwhichavirginhidesherface.Suchdrossthefiremustpurgeaway:--'TisjustTheauthorblushthere,wherethereadermust.

Hereshestopt,lookingrounduponheruponusallwithconscioussuperiority,asIthought.Lord,howwestared!Thouattemptedsttogiveusthydefinitionofwit,thatthoumightesthavesomethingtosay,

andnotseemtobesurprisedintosilentmodesty.

Butasifshecarednottotrusttheewiththesubject,referringtothesameauthorasforhismorepositivedecision,shethus,withthesameharmonyofvoiceandaccent,emphaticallydecideduponit.

Wit,likealuxuriousvine,Unlesstovirtue'spropitjoin,Firmanderect,tow'rdheavenbound,Tho'itwithbeauteousleavesandpleasantfruitbecrown'd,Itliesdeform'd,androttingontheground.

Ifthourecollectestthispartoftheconversation,andhowlikefoolswe

lookedatoneanother;howmuchitputusoutofconceitwithourselves,andmadeusfearher,whenwefoundourconversationthusexcludedfromtheverycharacterwhichourvanityhadmadeusthinkunquestionablyours;andifthouprofitestproperlybytherecollection;thouwiltbeofmymind,thatthereisnotsomuchwitinwickednessaswehadflatteredourselvestherewas.

Andafterall,Ihavebeenofopinioneversincethatconversation,thatthewitofalltherakesandlibertinesdowntolittleJohnnyHartopthepunster,consistsmostlyinsayingboldandshockingthings,withsuch



courageasshallmakethemodestblush,theimpudentlaugh,andtheignorantstare.

AndwhydostthouthinkImentionthesethings,somal-a-propos,asitmayseem!--Only,letmetellthee,asaninstance(amongmanythatmightbegivenfromthesameevening'sconversation)ofthisfinewoman'ssuperiorityinthosetalentswhichennoblenature,anddignifyhersex--evidencednotonlytoeachofus,asweoffended,buttotheflippantPartington,andthegrosser,butegregiouslyhypocriticalSinclair,inthecorrectingeye,thediscouragingblush,inwhichwasmixedasmuchdispleasureasmodesty,andsometimes,astheoccasioncalledforit,(forweweresomeofushardenedabovethesenseoffeelingdelicatereproof,)bythesovereigncontempt,mingledwithadisdainfulkindofpity,thatshowedatonceherownconsciousworth,andourdespicableworthlessness.

OLovelace!whatthenwasthetriumph,eveninmyeye,andwhatisitstilluponreflection,oftruejest,laughingimpertinence,andanobscenitysoshameful,eventotheguilty,thattheycannothintatitbutunderadoublemeaning!

Then,asthouhastsomewhereobserved,*allhercorrectivesavowedbyhereye.Notpoorly,likethegeneralityofhersex,affectingignoranceofmeaningstooobvioustobeconcealed;butsoresenting,astoshoweach

impudentlaughertheoffencegivento,andtakenbyapurity,thathadmistakenitsway,whenitfellintosuchcompany.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXLVIII.

Suchisthewoman,suchistheangel,whomthouhastbetrayedintothypower,andwouldstdeceiveandruin.---Sweetcreature!didshebutknowhowsheissurrounded,(asIthenthought,aswellasnowthink,)andwhatisintended,howmuchsoonerwoulddeathbeherchoice,thansodreadfulasituation!--'Andhoweffectuallywouldherstory,wereitgenerallyknown,warnallthesexagainstthrowingthemselvesintothe

powerofours,letourvows,oaths,andprotestations,bewhattheywill!'

Butletmebegofthee,oncemore,mydearLovelace,ifthouhastanyregardforthineownhonour,forthehonourofthyfamily,forthyfuturepeace,orformyopinionofthee,(whoyetpretendnottobesomuchmovedbyprinciple,asbythatdazzlingmeritwhichoughtstillmoretoattractthee,)tobeprevailedupon--tobe--tobehumane,that'sall--only,thatthouwouldstnotdisgraceourcommonhumanity!

Hardenedasthouart,Iknowthattheyaretheabandonedpeopleinthehousewhokeeptheeuptoaresolutionagainsther.Othatthesagaciousfair-one(withsomuchinnocentcharityinherownheart)hadnotso

resolutelyheldthosewomenatdistance!--thatassheboardedthere,shehadoftenertabledwiththem!Speciousastheyare,inaweek'stime,shewouldhaveseenthroughthem;theycouldnothavebeenalwayssoguarded,astheywerewhentheysawherbutseldom,andwhentheypreparedthemselvestoseeher;andshewouldhavefledtheirhouseasaplaceinfected.Andyet,perhaps,withsodeterminedanenterprizer,thisdiscoverymighthaveacceleratedherruin.

Iknowthatthouartniceinthyloves.Butaretherenothundredsofwomen,who,thoughnotutterlyabandoned,wouldbetakenwiththeefor



merepersonalregards!Makeatoy,ifthouwilt,ofprinciple,withrespecttosuchofthesexasregarditasatoy;butrobnotanangelofthosepurities,which,inherownopinion,constitutethedifferencebetweenangelicandbrutalqualities.

Withregardtothepassionitself,thelessofsoulineithermanorwoman,themoresensualarethey.Thou,Lovelace,hastasoul,thoughacorruptedone;andartmoreintent(asthouevengloriest)uponthepreparativestratagem,thatupontheendofconquering.

Seewenotthenaturalbentofidiotsandthecrazed?Theveryappetiteisbody;andwhenweourselvesaremostfools,andcrazed,thenarewemosteagerinthesepursuits.Seewhatfoolsthispassionmakesthewisestmen!Whatsnivellers,whatdotards,whentheysufferthemselvestoberunawaywithbyit!--Anunpermanentpassion!Since,if(ashamedofitsmorepropername)wemustcallitlove,lovegratified,islovesatisfied--andwhereconsentononesideaddstotheobligationontheother.Whatthenbutremorsecanfollowaforcibleattempt?

Donotevenchasteloverschoosetobealoneintheircourtshippreparations,ashamedtohaveevenachildtowitnesstotheirfoolishactions,andmorefoolishexpressions?Isthisdeifiedpassion,initsgreatestaltitudes,fittedtostandtheday?Donotthelovers,whenmutualconsentawaitstheirwills,retiretocoverts,andtodarkness,to

completetheirwishes?Andshallsuchasneakingpassionasthis,whichcanbesoeasilygratifiedbyvilerobjects,bepermittedtodebasethenoblest?

Werenotthedelaysofthyvilepurposesowingmoretotheawewhichhermajesticvirtuehasinspiredtheewith,thantothywantofadroitnessinvillany?[Imustwritemyfreesentimentsinthiscase;forhaveInotseentheangel?]Ishouldbereadytocensuresomeofthycontrivancesandpretencestosuspendtheexpectedday,astrite,stale,and(tome,whoknowthyintention)poor;andtoooftenresortedto,asnothingcomesofthemtobegloriedin;particularlythatofMennell,thevapourishlady,andtheready-furnishedhouse.

Shemusthavethoughtsotoo,attimes,andinherheartdespisedtheeforthem,orlovethee(ungratefulasthouart!)tohermisfortune;aswellasentertainhopeagainstprobability.Butthiswouldaffordanotherwarningtothesex,weretheytoknowherstory;'asitwouldshowthemwhatpoorpretencestheymustseemtobesatisfiedwith,ifoncetheyputthemselvesintothepowerofadesigningman.'

Iftrialonlywasthyend,asoncewasthypretence,*enoughsurelyhastthoutriedthisparagonofvirtueandvigilance.ButIknewtheetoowell,toexpect,atthetime,thatthouwouldeststopthere.'Menofourcastputnootherboundtotheirviewsuponanyofthesex,thanwhatwantofpowercompelsthemtoput.'Iknewthatfromoneadvantagegained,thouwouldestproceedtoattemptanother.Thyhabitualaversionto

wedlocktoowellIknew;andindeedthouavowestthyhopetobringhertocohabitation,inthatveryletterinwhichthoupretendesttrialtobethyprincipalview.**

*SeeVol.III.LetterXVIII.**Ibid.SeealsoLettersXVI.andXVII.ofthatvolume.

Butdonoteventhyownfrequentandinvoluntaryremorses,whenthouhast



time,place,company,andeveryothercircumstance,tofavourtheeinthywickeddesign,convincethee,thattherecanbenoroomforahopesopresumptuous?--Whythen,sincethouwouldestchoosetomarryherratherthanloseher,wiltthoumakeherhatetheeforever?

Butifthoudaresttomeditatepersonaltrial,andartsincereinthyresolutiontorewardher,asshebehavesinit,letmebeseechtheetoremoveherfromthisvilehouse.Thatwillbetogiveherandthyconsciencefairplay.Soentirelynowdoesthesweetdeludedexcellencedependuponhersupposedhappierprospects,thatthouneedestnottofearthatshewillflyfromthee,orthatshewillwishtohaverecoursetothatschemeofMissHowe,whichhasputtheeuponwhatthoucallestthymaster-strokes.

Butwhateverbethydeterminationonthishead;andifIwritenotintime,butthatthouhastactuallypulledoffthemask;letitnotbeoneofthedevices,ifthouwouldestavoidthecursesofeveryheart,andhereafterofthyown,togiveher,nonotforonehour,(beherresentmenteversogreat,)intothepowerofthatvillanouswoman,whohas,ifpossible,lessremorsethanthyself;andwhosetradeitistobreaktheresistingspirit,andutterlytoruintheheartunpractisedinevil.--OLovelace,Lovelace,howmanydreadfulstoriescouldthishorridwomantellthesex!AndshallthatofaClarissaswelltheguiltylist?

ButthisImighthavespared.Ofthis,devilasthouart,thoucanstnotbecapable.Thoucouldstnotenjoyatriumphsodisgracefultothywickedpride,aswellastohumanity.

Shouldestthouthink,thatthemelancholyspectaclehourlybeforemehasmadememoreseriousthanusual,perhapsthouwiltnotbemistaken.Butnothingmoreistobeinferredfromhence(wereIeventoreturntomyformercourses)butthatwheneverthetimeofcoolreflectioncomes,whetherbroughtonbyourowndisasters,orbythoseofothers,weshallundoubtedly,ifcapableofthought,andifwehavetimeforit,thinkinthesamemanner.

Weneitherofusaresuchfoolsastodisbelieveafuturity,ortothink,

whateverbeourpractice,thatwecamehitherbychance,andfornoendbuttodoallthemischiefwehaveitinourpowertodo.NoramIashamedtoown,thatintheprayerswhichmypoorunclemakesmereadtohim,intheabsenceofaverygoodclergymanwhoregularlyattendshim,Idonotforgettoputinawordortwoformyself.

If,Lovelace,thoulaughestatme,thyridiculewillbemoreconformabletothyactionsthantothybelief.--Devilsbelieveandtremble.Canstthoubemoreabandonedthanthey?

Andhereletmeadd,withregardtomypooroldman,thatIoftenwishtheepresentbutforonehalfhourinaday,toseethedregsofagayliferunningoffinthemostexcruciatingtorturesthatthecholic,the

stone,andthesurgeon'sknifecanunitedlyinflict,andtohearhimbewailthedissolutenessofhispastlife,inthebitterestanguishofaspiriteveryhourexpectingtobecalledtoitslastaccount.--Yet,byallhisconfessions,hehasnottoaccusehimself,insixty-sevenyearsoflife,ofhalftheveryvileenormitieswhichyouandIhavecommittedinthelastsevenonly.

IconcludewithrecommendingtoyourseriousconsiderationallIhavewritten,asproceedingfromtheheartandsoulof



Yourassuredfriend,JOHNBELFORD

LETTERXIV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAYAFTERNOON,JUNE6.

Difficultiesstilltobegotoverinprocuringthisplaguylicense.Ieverhated,andevershallhate,thesespirituallawyers,andtheircourt.

Andnow,Jack,ifIhavenotsecuredvictory,Ihavearetreat.

Buthold--thyservantwithaletter--

***

Aconfoundedlongone,thoughnotanarrativeone--Oncemoreinbehalfof

thislady?--Lietheedown,oddity!Whatcanstthouwritethatcanhaveforceuponmeatthiscrisis?--AndhaveInot,asIwentalong,madetheetosayallthatwasnecessaryfortheetosay?

***

YetoncemoreIwilltaketheeup.

Trite,stale,poor,(sayestthou,)aresomeofmycontrivances;thatofthewidowparticularly!--Ihavenopatiencewiththee.Hadnotthatcontrivanceitseffectatthattime,foraprocrastination?andhadInot

thenreasontofear,thattheladywouldfindenoughtomakeherdislikethishouse?andwasitnotright(intendingwhatIintended)toleadheronfromtimetotimewithanotionthatahouseofherownwouldbereadyforhersoon,inordertoinducehertocontinueheretillitwas?

Trite,stale,andpoor!--Thouartasillyfellow,andnojudge,whenthousayestthis.HadInot,likeablockhead,revealedtothee,asIwentalong,thesecretpurposesofmyheart,buthadkeptallintilltheeventhadexplainedmymysteries,Iwouldhavedefiedtheetohavebeenable,anymorethanthelady,tohaveguessedatwhatwastobefallher,tillithadactuallycometopass.NordoubtI,inthiscase,that,insteadofpresumingtoreflectuponherforcredulity,aslovingmetohermisfortune,andforhopingagainstprobability,thouwouldesthavebeen

readier,byfar,tocensureherfornicetyandover-scrupulousness.And,letmetellthee,thathadshelovedmeaIwishedhertoloveme,shecouldnotpossiblyhavebeensoveryapprehensiveofmydesigns,norsoreadytobeinfluencedbyMissHowe'sprecautions,asshehasalwaysbeen,althoughmygeneralcharactermadenotformewithher.

But,inthyopinion,Isufferforthatsimplicityinmycontrivances,whichistheirprincipalexcellence.NomachinerymakeInecessary.NounnaturalflightsaimIat.Allpurenature,takingadvantageofnature,asnaturetends;andsosimplemydevices,thatwhentheyareknown,



thou,eventhou,imaginestthoucouldesthavethoughtofthesame.Andindeedthouseemesttoown,thattheslightthouputtestuponthemisowingtomylettingtheeintothembefore-hand--undistingushingaswellasungratefulasthouart!

Yet,afterall,IwouldnothavetheethinkthatIdonotknowmyweakplaces.Ihaveformerlytoldthee,thatitisdifficultfortheablestgeneraltosaywhathewilldo,orwhathecando,whenheisobligedtoregulatehismotionsbythoseofawatchfulenemy.*Ifthougivestdueweighttothisconsideration,thouwiltnotwonderthatIshouldmakemanymarchesandcountermarches,someofwhichmayappear,toaslightobserver,unnecessary.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXXXIX.

Butletmecursorilyenterintodebatewiththeeonthissubject,nowIamwithinsightofmyjourney'send.

Abundanceofimpertinentthingsthoutellestmeinthisletter;someofwhichthouhadstfrommyself;othersthatIknewbefore.

Allthatthousayestinthischarmingcreature'spraiseisshortofwhat

Ihavesaidandwrittenontheinexhaustiblesubject.Hervirtue,herresistance,whicharehermerits,aremystimulatives.haveInottoldtheesotwentytimesover?

Devil,asthesegirlsbetweenthemcallme,whatofdevilamI,butinmycontrivances?IamnotmoreadevilthanothersintheendIaimat;forwhenIhavecarriedmypoint,itisstillbutoneseduction.AndIhaveperhapsbeensparedtheguiltofmanyseductionsinthetime.

Whatofuncommonwouldtherebeinthiscase,butforherwatchfulness!--AswellasIloveintrigueandstratagem,dostthinkthatIhadnotratherhavegainedmyendwithlesstroubleandlessguilt?

Theman,letmetellthee,whoisaswickedashecanbe,isaworsemanthanIam.LetmeaskanyrakeinEngland,if,resolvingtocarryhispoint,hewouldhavebeensolongaboutit?orhavehadsomuchcompunctionasIhavehad?

Wereeveryrake,nay,wereeveryman,tositdown,asIdo,andwriteallthatentersintohishead,orintohisheart,andtoaccusehimselfwithequalfreedomandtruth,whatanarmyofmiscreantsshouldIhavetokeepmeincountenance!

Itisamaximwithsome,thatiftheyareleftalonewithawoman,andmakenotanattemptuponher,shewillthinkherselfaffronted--Arenot

suchmenastheseworsethanIam?Whatanopinionmusttheyhaveofthewholesex!

LetmedefendthesexIsodearlylove.Iftheseelderbrethrenofoursthinktheyhavegeneralreasonfortheirassertion,theymusthavekeptverybadcompany,ormustjudgeofwomen'sheartsbytheirown.Shemustbeanabandonedwoman,whowillnotshrinkasasnailintoitsshellatagrossandsuddenattempt.Amodestwomanmustbenaturallycold,reserved,andshy.Shecannotbesomuchandsosoonaffectedaslibertinesareapttoimagine.Shemust,atleast,havesomeconfidence



inthehonourandsilenceofaman,beforedesirecanpossiblyputforthinher,toencourageandmeethisflame.Formyownpart,Ihavebeenalwaysdecentinthecompanyofwomen,tillIwassureofthem.NorhaveIeverofferedagreatoffence,tillIhavefoundlittleonespassedover;andthattheyshunnedmenot,whentheyknewmycharacter.

MydivineClarissahaspuzzledme,andbeatmeoutofmyplay:atonetime,Ihopetoovercomebyintimidatingher;atanother,bylove;bytheamoroussee-saw,asIhavecalledit.*AndIhaveonlynowtojoinsurprisetotheothertwo,andseewhatcanbedonebyallthree.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXVI.

Andwhoseproperty,Ipraythee,shallIinvade,ifIpursuemyschemesofloveandvengeance?Havenotthosewhohavearighttoherrenouncedthatright?Havetheynotwilfullyexposedhertodangers?Yetmustknow,thatsuchawomanwouldbeconsideredaslawfulprizebyasmanyascouldhavetheopportunitytoattempther?--Andhadtheynotthuscruellyexposedher,isshenotasinglewoman?AndneedItellthee,Jack,thatmenofourcast,thebestofthem[theworststickatnothing]thinkitagreatgraceandfavourdonetothemarriedmen,iftheyleavethemtheirwivestothemselves;andcompoundfortheirsisters,daughters,wards

andnieces?Shockingastheseprinciplesmustbetoareflectingmind,yetsuchthouknowestaretheprinciplesofthousands(whowouldnotactsogenerouslyasIhaveactedbyalmostallofthesex,overwhomIhaveobtainedapower);andasoftencarriedintopractice,astheiropportunitiesorcouragewillpermit.--Suchthereforehavenorighttoblameme.

Thourepeatedlypleadesthersufferingsfromherfamily.ButIhavetoooftenansweredthisplea,toneedtosayanymorenow,thanthatshehasnotsufferedformysake.Forhasshenotbeenmadethevictimofthemaliceofherrapaciousbrotherandenvioussister,whoonlywaitedforanoccasiontoruinherwithherotherrelations;andtookthisasthefirsttodriveheroutofthehouse;and,asithappened,intomyarms?--

Thouknowesthowmuchagainstherinclination.

Asforherownsins,howmanyhasthedearcreaturetoanswerfortoloveandtome!--Twentytimes,andtwentytimestwenty,hasshenottoldme,thatsherefusednottheodiousSolmesinfavourtome?Andasoftenhasshenotofferedtorenouncemeforthesinglelife,iftheimplacableswouldhavereceivedheronthatcondition?--Ofwhatrepetitionsdoesthyweakpitymakemeguilty?

Tolookalitterfartherback:Canstthouforgetwhatmysufferingswerefromthishaughtybeautyinthewholetimeofmyattendanceuponherproudmotions,inthepurlieusofHarlowe-place,andatthelittleWhiteHart,atNeale,aswecalledit?--DidInotthreatenvengeanceuponher

then(andhadInotreason?)fordisappointingmeofapromisedinterview?

OJack!whatanighthadIinthebleakcoppiceadjoiningtoherfather'spaddock!Mylinenandwigfrozen;mylimbsabsolutelynumbed;myfingersonlysensibleofsomuchwarmthasenabledmetoholdapen;andthatobtainedbyrubbingtheskinoff,andbybeatingwithmyhandsmyshiveringsides!Kneelingonthehoarmossononeknee,writingontheother,ifthestiffscrawlcouldbecalledwriting!Myfeet,bythetimeIhaddone,seemingtohavetakenroot,andactuallyunabletosupportme



forsomeminutes!--Loveandragethenkeptmyheartinmotion,[andonlyloveandragecoulddoit,]orhowmuchmorethanIdidsuffermustIhavesuffered!

Itoldthee,atmymelancholyreturn,whatwerethecontentsoftheletterIwrote.*AndIshowedtheeafterwardshertyrannicalanswertoit.**Thou,then,Jack,lovedstthyfriend;andpitiedstthypoorsufferingLovelace.EventheaffrontedGodofLoveapprovedthenofmythreatenedvengeanceagainstthefairpromiser;thoughofthenightofmysufferings,heisbecomeanadvocateforher.

*SeeVol.II.LetterXX.**Ibid.

Nay,wasitnothehimselfthatbroughttomemyadorableNemesis;andbothtogetherputmeuponthisveryvow,'ThatIwouldneverresttillIhaddrawninthisgoddess-daughteroftheHarlowestocohabitwithme;andthatinthefaceofalltheirproudfamily?'

Norcanstthouforgetthisvow.AtthisinstantIhavetheebeforeme,asthenthousorrowfullylookedst.Thystrongfeaturesglowingwithcompassionforme;thylipstwisted;thyforeheadfurrowed;thywhole

facedrawnoutfromthestupidroundintotheghastlyoval;everymusclecontributingitspowertocompletetheaspectgrievous;andnotonewordcouldstthouutter,butAmen!tomyvow.

Andwhatofdistinguishinglove,orfavour,orconfidence,haveIhadfromhersince,tomakemeforegothisvow!

Ireneweditnot,indeed,afterwards;andactually,foralongseason,waswillingtoforgetit;tillrepetitionsofthesamefaultsrevivedtheremembranceoftheformer.AndnowaddingtothosethecontentsofsomeofMissHowe'svirulentletters,solatelycomeat,whatcanstthousayfortherebel,consistentwiththyloyaltytothyfriend?

Everymantohisgeniusandconstitution.HannibalwascalledThefatherofwarlikestratagems.HadHannibalbeenaprivateman,andturnedhisplottingheadagainsttheothersex;orhadIbeenageneral,and,turnedmineagainstsuchofmyfellow-creaturesofmy,own,asIthoughtmyselfentitledtoconsiderasmyenemies,becausetheywerebornandlivedinadifferentclimate;Hannibalwouldhavedonelessmischief;Lovelacemore.--Thatwouldhavebeenthedifference.

Notasovereignonearth,ifhebenotagoodman,andifhebeofawarliketemper,butmustdoathousandtimesmoremischiefthanI.Andwhy?Becausehehasitinhispowertodomore.

Anhonestman,perhapsthou'ltsay,willnotwishtohaveitinhispower

todohurt.Heoughtnot,letmetellhim:for,ifhehaveit,athousandtoonebutitmakeshimbothwantonandwicked.

Inwhat,then,amIsosingularlyvile?

Inmycontrivancesthouwiltsay,(forthouartmyecho,)ifnotinmyproposedendofthem.

Howdifficultdoeseverymanfindit,aswellasI,toforegoapredominantpassion!Ihavethreepassionsthatswaymebyturns;all



imperialones--love,revenge,ambitionoradesireofconquest.

AstothisparticularcontrivanceofTomlinsonandtheuncle,whichperhapsthouwiltthinkablackone;thathadbeenspared,hadnottheseinnocentladiesputmeuponfindingahusbandfortheirMrs.Townsend:thatdevice,therefore,isbutapreventiveone.ThinkestthouthatIcouldbeartobeoutwitted?Andmaynotthisverycontrivancesaveaworldofmischief?fordostthouthinkIwouldhavetamelygivenuptheladytoTownsend'stars?

Whatmeanestthou,excepttooverthrowthyownplea,whenthousayest,thatmenofourcastknownootherboundtotheirwickedness,butwantofpower;yetknowestthisladytobeinmine?

Enough,sayestthou,haveItriedthisparagonofvirtue.Notso;forIhavenottriedheratall--allIhavebeendoingisbutpreparationtoatrial.

ButthouartconcernedforthemeansthatImayhaverecoursetointhetrial,andformyveracity.

Sillyfellow!--Dideveranyman,thinkestthou,deceiveawoman,butattheexpenseofhisveracity;how,otherwise,canhebesaidtodeceive?

Astothemeans,thoudostnotimaginethatIexpectadirectconsent.Mymainhopeisbutinayieldingreluctance;withoutwhichIwillbesworn,whateverrapeshavebeenattempted,noneeverwerecommitted,onepersontooneperson.AndgoodQueenBessofEngland,hadshebeenliving,andappealedto,wouldhavedeclaredherselfofmymind.

Itwouldnotbeamissforthesextoknowwhatouropinionsareuponthissubject.Ilovetowarnthem.Iwishnomantosucceedwiththembutmyself.Itoldtheeonce,thatthougharake,Iamnotarake'sfriend.*

*SeeVol.III.LetterXVIII.

Thousayest,thatIeverhatedwedlock.Andtruethousayest.Andyetastrue,whenthoutellestme,thatIwouldrathermarrythanlosethislady.Andwillshedetestmeforever,thinkestthou,ifItryher,andsucceednot?--Takecare--takecare,Jack!--SeestthounotthatthouwarnestmethatIdonottrywithoutresolvingtoconquer?

Imustadd,thatIhaveforsometimebeenconvincedthatIhavedonewrongtoscribbletotheesofreelyasIhavedone(andthemoreso,ifImaketheladylegallymine);forhasnoteveryletterIhavewrittentotheebeenabillofindictmentagainstmyself?Imaypartlycursemyvanityforit;andIthinkIwillrefrainforthefuture;forthouartreallyveryimpertinent.

Agoodman,Iown,mighturgemanyofthethingsthouurgest;but,bymysoul,theycomeveryawkwardlyfromthee.Andthoumustbesensible,thatIcananswereverytittleofwhatyouwritest,uponthefootofthemaximswehavelongheldandpursued.--Bythespecimenabove,thouwiltseethatIcan.

Andpr'ytheetellme,Jack,whatbutthisthatfollowswouldhavebeentheepitomeofmineandmybeloved'sstory,aftertenyears'cohabitation,hadIneverwrittentotheeuponthesubject,andhadInot



beenmyownaccuser?

'RobertLovelace,anotoriouswoman-eater,makeshisaddressesinanhonourablewaytoMissClarissaHarlowe;ayoungladyofthehighestmerit--fortunesonbothsidesoutofthequestion.

'Afterencouragementgiven,heisinsultedbyherviolentbrother;whothinksithisinteresttodiscountenancethematch;andwhoatlastchallenginghim,isobligedtotakehisworthlesslifeathishands.

'Thefamily,asmuchenraged,asifhehadtakenthelifehegave,insulthimpersonally,andfindoutanodiousloverfortheyounglady.

'Toavoidaforcedmarriage,sheisprevailedupontotakeastepwhichthrowsherintoMr.Lovelace'sprotection.

'Yet,disclaiminganypassionforhim,sherepeatedlyofferstorenouncehimforever,if,onthatcondition,herrelationswillreceiveher,andfreeherfromtheaddressofthemanshehates.

'Mr.Lovelace,amanofstrongpassions,and,assomesay,ofgreatpride,thinkshimselfunderverylittleobligationtoheronthisaccount;andnotbeingnaturallyfondofmarriage,andhavingsomuchreasontohateherrelations,endeavourstoprevailuponhertolivewith

himwhathecallsthelifeofhonour;andatlast,bystratagem,art,andcontrivance,prevails.

'Heresolvesnevertomarryanyotherwoman:takesapridetohavehercalledbyhisname:achurch-riteallthedifferencebetweenthem:treatsherwithdeservedtenderness.Nobodyquestionstheirmarriagebutthoseproudrelationsofher's,whomhewishestoquestionit.Everyyearacharmingboy.Fortunestosupporttheincreasingfamilywithsplendor.Atenderfather.Alwaysawarmfriend;agenerouslandlord;andapunctualpaymaster.Now-and-thenhowever,perhaps,indulgingwithanewobject,inordertobringhimbackwithgreaterdelighttohischarmingClarissa--hisonlyfault,loveofthesex--which,nevertheless,thewomensay,willcureitself--defensiblethusfar,thathebreaksnocontracts

byhisrovings.'--

Andwhatistheresoverygreatlyamiss,ASTHEWORLDGOES,inallthis?

Letmeaver,thattherearethousandsandtenthousands,whohaveworsestoriestotellthanthiswouldappeartobe,hadInotinterestedtheeintheprogresstomygreatend.Andbesides,thouknowestthatthecharacterIgavemyselftoJosephLeman,astomytreatmentofmymistress,isprettynearthetruth.*

*SeeVol.III.LetterXLVIII.

WereItobeasmuchinearnestinmydefence,asthouartwarminmyarraignment,Icouldconvincethee,byotherarguments,observations,andcomparisons,[Isnotallhumangoodandevilcomparative?]thatthoughfrommyingenuoustemper(writingonlytothee,whoartmasterofeverysecretofmyheart)Iamsoreadytoaccusemyselfinmynarrations,yetIhavesomethingtosayformyselftomyself,asIgoalong;thoughnooneelse,perhaps,thatwasnotarake,wouldallowanyweighttoit.--AndthiscautionmightIgivetothousands,whowouldstoopforastonetothrowatme:'Seethatyourownpredominantpassions,whateverthey



be,hurryyounotintoasmuchwickednessasminedome.See,ifyehappentobebetterthanIinsomethings,thatyearenotworseinothers;andinpointstoo,thatmaybeofmoreextensivebadconsequence,thanthatofseducingagirl,(andtakingcareofherafterwards,)who,fromhercradle,isarmedwithcautionsagainstthedelusionsofmen.'AndyetIamnotsopartialtomyownfolliesastothinklightlyofthisfault,whenIallowmyselftothink.

AnothergravethingIwilladd,nowmyhandisin:'SodearlydoIlovethesex,thathadIfoundthatacharacterforvirtuehadbeengenerallynecessarytorecommendmetothem,Ishouldhavehadamuchgreaterregardtomymorals,astothesex,thanIhavehad.'

Tosumallup--Iamsufficientlyapprized,thatmenofworthyandhonesthearts,whoneverallowedthemselvesinpremeditatedevil,andwhotakeintotheaccounttheexcellenciesofthisfinecreature,willandmustnotonlycondemn,butabhorme,weretheytoknowasmuchofmeasthoudost.But,methinks,Iwouldbegladtoescapethecensureofthosemen,andofthosewomentoo,whohaveneverknownwhatcapitaltrialsandtemptationsare;ofthosewhohavenogeniusforenterprise;ofthosewhowantrathercouragethanwill;andmostparticularlyofthosewhohaveonlykepttheirsecretbetterthanIhavekept,orwishtokeep,mine.Werethoseexceptionstotakeplace,perhaps,Jack,Ishouldhavetentoacquittoonethatshouldcondemnme.HaveInotoftensaid,thathuman

natureisarogue?

***

Ithreatenedabovetorefrainwritingtothee.Buttakeitnottoheart,Jack--Imustwriteon,andcannothelpit.

LETTERXV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.WEDNESDAYNIGHT,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

Faith,Jack,thouhadsthalfundonemewiththynonsense,thoughIwouldnotownitonmyyesterday'sletter:myconscienceofthypartybefore.--ButIthinkIammyownmanagain.

Soneartoexecutionmyplot;sonearspringingmymine;allagreeduponbetweenthewomenandme;orIbelievethouhadstoverthrownme.

Ihavetimeforafewlinespreparativetowhatistohappeninanhourortwo;andIlovetowritetothemoment.

Wehavebeenextremelyhappy.Howmanyagreeabledayshaveweknowntogether!--Whatmaythenexttwohoursproduce.

WhenIpartedwithmycharmer,(whichIdid,withinfinitereluctance,halfanhourago,)itwasuponherpromisethatshewouldnotsituptowriteorread.Forsoengagingwastheconversationtome,(andindeedmybehaviourthroughoutthewholeofitwasconfessedlyagreeabletoher,)thatIinsisted,ifshedidnotdirectlyretiretorest,thatsheshouldaddanotherhappyhourtotheformer.



Tohavesatupwritingorreadinghalfthenight,asshesometimesdoes,wouldhavefrustratedmyview,asthouwiltobserve,whenmylittleplotunravels.

***

What--What--Whatnow!--Boundingvillain!wouldstthouchokeme?--

Iwasspeakingtomyheart,Jack!--Itwasthenatmythroat.--Andwhatisallthisfor?--Theseshywomen,how,whenamanthinkshimselfnearthemark,dotheytempesthim!

***

Isallready,Dorcas?Hasmybelovedkeptherwordwithme?--Whetherarethesebillowyheavingsowingmoretoloveortofear?Icannottell,forthesoulofme,ofwhichIhavemost.IfIcanbuttakeherbeforeherapprehension,beforehereloquence,isawake--

Limbs,whythusconvulsed?--Knees,tillnowsofirmlyknit,whythusrelaxed?whybeatyouthustogether?Willnotthesetremblingfingers,whichtwicehaverefusedtodirectthepen,failmeinthearduousmoment?

Onceagain,whyandforwhatalltheseconvulsions?Thisprojectisnottoendinmatrimony,surely!

ButtheconsequencesmustbegreaterthanIhadthoughtoftillthismoment--mybeloved'sdestinyormyownmaydependupontheissueofthetwonexthours!

Iwillrecede,Ithink!--

***

Soft,Ovirginsaint,andsafeassoft,bethyslumbers!

IwillnowoncemoreturntomyfriendBelford'sletter.Thoushalthavefairplay,mycharmer.Iwillreperusewhatthyadvocatehastosayforthee.Weakargumentswilldo,intheframeIamin!--

But,what,what'sthematte!--Whatadouble--Buttheuproarabates!--WhatadoublecowardamI!--OrisitthatIamtakeninacowardlyminute?for

heroeshavetheirfitsoffear;cowardstheirbravemoments;andvirtuouswomen,allbutmyClarissa,theirmomentcritical--

Butthuscoollyenjoyingthereflectioninahurricane!--Againtheconfusionisrenewed--

What!Where!--Howcameit!

Ismybelovedsafe--



Owakenottooroughly,mybeloved!

LETTERXVI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.THURSDAYMORNING,FIVEO'CLOCK,(JUNE8.)

Nowismyreformationsecure;forInevershallloveanyotherwoman!Oh!sheisallvariety!Shemusteverbenewtome!Imaginationcannotform;muchlesscanthepencilpaint;norcanthesoulofpainting,poetry,describeanangelsoexquisitely,soelegantlylovely!--ButIwillnotbyanticipationpacifythyimpatience.Althoughthesubjectistoohallowedforprofanecontemplation,yetshaltthouhavethewholebeforetheeasitpassed:andthisnotfromaspiritwantoningindescriptionuponsorichasubject;butwithadesigntoputaboundtothyrovingthoughts.Itwillbeiniquity,greaterthanaLovelacewaseverguiltyof,tocarrythemfartherthanIshallacknowledge.

Thusthen,connectingmylastwiththepresent,Ileadtoit.

Didstthounot,bytheconclusionofmyformer,perceivethe

consternationIwasin,justasIwasabouttoreperusethyletter,inordertoprevailuponmyselftorecedefrommypurposeofawakinginterrorsmyslumberingcharmer?Andwhatdostthinkwasthematter?

I'lltellthee--

Atalittleaftertwo,whenthewholehousewasstill,orseemedtobeso,and,asitproved,myClarissainbed,andfastasleep;Ialsoinamannerundressed(asindeedIwasforanhourbefore)andinmygownandslippers,though,toobligethee,writingon!--Iwasalarmedbyatramplingnoiseoverhead,andaconfusedbuzofmixedvoices,somelouderthanothers,likescolding,andlittleshortofscreaming.WhileIwaswonderingwhatcouldbethematter,downstairsranDorcas,andat

mydoor,inanaccentratherfrightedlyandhoarselyinwardthanshrillyclamorous,shecriedoutFire!Fire!Andthisthemorealarmedme,assheseemedtoendeavourtocryoutlouder,butcouldnot.

Mypen(itslastscrawlabenedictiononmybeloved)droppedfrommyfingers;andupstartedI;andmakingbutthreestepstothedoor,openingit,criedout,Where!Where!almostasmuchterrifiedasthewench;whileshe,morethanhalfundrest,herpetticoatsinherhand,unabletospeakdistinctly,pointedupstairs.

Iwasthereinamoment,andfoundallowingtothecarelessnessofMrs.Sinclair'scook-maid,whohavingsatuptoreadthesimpleHistoryofDorastusandFaunia,whensheshouldhavebeeninbed,hadsetfiretoan

oldpairofcalicowindow-curtains.

Shehadhadthepresenceofmind,inherfright,toteardownthehalf-burntvallens,aswellascurtains,andhadgotthem,thoughblazing,intothechimney,bythetimeIcameup;sothatIhadthesatisfactiontofindthedangerhappilyover.

MeantimeDorcas,aftershehaddirectedmeupstairs,notknowingtheworstwasover,andexpectingeveryminutethehousewouldbeinablaze,outoftenderregardforherlady,[Ishallforeverlovethewenchfor



it,]rantoherdoor,andrappingloudlyatit,inarecoveredvoice,criedout,withashillnessequaltoherlove,Fire!Fire!Thehouseisonfire!--Rise,Madam!--Thisinstantrise--ifyouwouldnotbeburntinyourbed!

Nosoonerhadshemadethisdreadfulout-cry,butIheardherlady'sdoor,withhastyviolence,unbar,unbolt,unlock,andopen,andmycharmer'svoicesoundinglikethatofonegoingintoafit.

ThoumayestbelievethatIwasgreatlyaffected.Itrembledwithconcernforher,andhasteneddownfasterthanthealarmoffirehadmademerunup,inordertosatisfyherthatallthedangerwasover.

WhenIhadflowndowntoherchamber-door,thereIbeheldthemostcharmingcreatureintheworld,supportingherselfonthearmofthegaspingDorcas,sighing,trembling,andreadytofaint,withnothingonbutanunderpetticoat,herlovelybosomhalfopen,andherfeetjustslippedintohershoes.Assoonasshesawme,shepainted,andstruggledtospeak;butcouldonlysay,OMr.Lovelace!anddownwasreadytosink.

Iclaspedherinmyarmswithanardoursheneverfeltbefore:Mydearestlife!fearnothing:Ihavebeenup--thedangerisover--thefireisgotunder--andhow,foolishdevil,[toDorcas,]couldyouthus,byyour

hideousyell,alarmandfrightenmyangel!OJack!howhersweetbosom,asIclaspedhertomine,heavedandpanted!Icouldevendistinguishherdearheartflutter,flutter,againstmine;and,forafewminutes,Ifearedshewouldgointofits.

Lestthehalf-lifelesscharmershouldcatchcoldinthisundress,Iliftedhertoherbed,andsatdownbyheruponthesideofit,endeavouringwiththeutmosttenderness,aswellofactionasexpression,todissipateherterrors.

ButwhatdidIgetbythismygenerouscareofher,andmysuccessfulendeavourtobringhertoherself?--Nothing(ungratefulasshewas!)but

themostpassionateexclamations:forwehadbothalreadyforgottentheoccasion,dreadfulasitwas,whichhadthrownherintomyarms:I,fromthejoyofencirclingthealmostdisrobedbodyoftheloveliestofhersex;she,fromthegreaterterrorsthatarosefromfindingherselfinmyarms,andbothseatedonthebed,fromwhichshehadbeensolatelyfrighted.

Andnow,Belford,reflectuponthedistanceatwhichthewatchfulcharmerhadhithertokeptme:reflectuponmylove,anduponmysufferingsforher:reflectuponhervigilance,andhowlongIhadlaidinwaittoeludeit;theaweIhadstoodin,becauseofherfrozenvirtueandover-niceness;andthatIneverbeforewassohappywithher;andthenthinkhowungovernablemustbemytransportsinthosehappymoments!--And

yet,inmyownaccount,Iwasbothdecentandgenerous.

But,farfrombeingaffected,asIwished,byanaddresssofervent,(althoughfromamanfromwhomshehadsolatelyownedaregard,andwithwhom,butanhourortwobefore,shehadpartedwithsomuchsatisfaction,)Ineversawabitterer,ormoremovinggrief,whenshecamefullytoherself.

SheappealedtoHeavenagainstmytreachery,asshecalledit;whileI,bythemostsolemnvows,pleadedmyownequalfright,andtherealityof



thedangerthathadalarmedusboth.

Sheconjuredme,inthemostsolemnandaffectingmanner,byturnsthreateningandsoothing,toquitherapartment,andpermithertohideherselffromthelight,andfromeveryhumaneye.

Ibesoughtherpardon,yetcouldnotavoidoffending;andrepeatedlyvowed,thatthenextmorning'ssunshouldwitnessourespousals.Buttaking,Isuppose,allmyprotestationsofthiskindasanindicationthatIintendedtoproceedtothelastextremity,shewouldhearnothingthatIsaid;but,redoublingherstrugglestogetfromme,inbrokenaccents,andexclamationsthemostvehement,sheprotested,thatshewouldnotsurvivewhatshecalledatreatmentsodisgracefulandvillanous;and,lookingallwildlyroundher,asifforsomeinstrumentofmischief,sheespiedapairofsharp-pointedscissorsonachairbythebed-side,andendeavouredtocatchthemup,withdesigntomakeherwordsgoodonthespot.

Seeingherdesperation,Ibeggedhertobepacified;thatshewouldhearmespeakbutoneword;declaringthatIintendednodishonourtoher:andhavingseizedthescissors,Ithrewthemintothechimney;andshestillinsistingvehementlyuponmydistance,Ipermittedhertotakethechair.

But,Othesweetdiscomposure!--Herbaredshoulders,andarmsso

inimitablyfairandlovely:herspreadhandscrossedoverhercharmingneck;yetnothalfconcealingitsglossybeauties:thescantycoat,assherosefromme,givingthewholeofheradmirableshape,andfine-turn'dlimbs:hereyesrunningover,yetseemingtothreatenfuturevengeance:andatlastherlipsutteringwhateveryindignantlookandglowingfeatureportended:exclaimingasifIhaddonetheworstIcoulddo,andvowingnevertoforgiveme;wiltthouwonderifIresumedtheincensed,thealreadytoo-much-provokedfair-one?

Idid;andclaspedheroncemoretomybosom:but,consideringthedelicacyofherframe,herforcewasamazing,andshowedhowmuchinearnestshewasinherresentment;foritwaswiththeutmostdifficulty

thatIwasabletoholdher:norcouldIpreventherslidingthroughmyarms,tofalluponherknees:whichshedidatmyfeet:andthereintheanguishofhersoul,herstreamingeyeslifteduptomyfacewithsupplicatingsoftness,handsfolded,dishevelledhair;forhernighthead-dresshavingfallenoffinherstruggling,hercharmingtressesfelldowninnaturallyshiningringlets,asifofficioustoconcealthedazzlingbeautiesofherneckandshoulders;herlovelybosomtooheavingwithsighs,andbrokensobs,asiftoaidherquiveringlipsinpleadingforher--inthismanner,butwhenhergriefgavewaytoherspeech,inwordspronouncedwiththatemphaticalpropriety,whichdistinguishesthisadmirablecreatureinherelocutionfromallthewomenIeverheardspeak,didsheimploremycompassionandmyhonour.

'Considerme,dearLovelace,'[dearwashercharmingword!]'onmykneesIbegyoutoconsidermeasapoorcreaturewhohasnoprotectorbutyou;whohasnodefencebutyourhonour:bythathonour!byyourhumanity!byallyouhavevowed!Iconjureyounottomakemeabhormyself!nottomakemevileinmyowneyes!'

Imentionedto-morrowasthehappiestdayofmylife.

Tellmenotofto-morrow.Ifindeedyoumeanmehonourably,now,thisveryinstantNOW!youmustshowit,andbegone!youcanneverinawhole



longliferepairtheevilsyouNOWmakemesuffer!

Wickedwretch!--Insolentvillain!--yes,shecalledmeinsolentvillain,althoughsomuchinmypower!Andforwhat!--onlyforkissing(withpassionindeed)herinimitableneck,herlips,hercheeks,herforehead,andherstreamingeyes,asthisassemblageofbeautiesoffereditselfatoncetomyravishedsight;shecontinuingkneelingatmyfeetasIsat.

IfIamavillain,Madam!--Andthenmygrasping,buttremblinghand--IhopeIdidnothurtthetenderestandloveliestofallherbeauties--IfIamavillain,Madam--

Shetoremyruffle,shrunkfrommyhappyhand,withamazingforceandagility,aswithmyotherarmIwouldhaveencircledherwaist.

Indeedyouare!--theworstofvillains!--Help!dear,blessedpeople!andscreamedout--Nohelpforapoorcreature!

AmIthenavillain,Madam?--AmIthenavillain,sayyou?--andclaspedbothmyarmsabouther,offeringtoraisehertomyboundingheart.

Oh!no!--Andyetyouare!--AndagainIwasherdearLovelace!--herhandsagainclaspedoverhercharmingbosom:--Killme!killme!--ifIamodiousenoughinyoureyestodeservethistreatment:andIwillthankyou!--Too

long,muchtoolonghasmylifebeenaburdentome!--Or,(wildlylookingallroundher,)givemebutthemeans,andIwillinstantlyconvinceyouthatmyhonourisdearertomethanmylife!

Then,withstillfoldedhands,andfreshstreamingeyes,IwasherblessedLovelace;andshewouldthankmewithherlatestbreathifIwouldpermithertomakethatpreference,orfreeherfromfartherindignities.

Isatsuspendedforamoment:bymysoul,thoughtI,thouart,uponfullproof,anangelandnowoman!still,however,closeclaspinghertomybosom,asIraisedherfromherknees,sheagainslidthroughmyarms,anddroppeduponthem.--'See,Mr.Lovelace!--GoodGod!thatIshouldlive

toseethishour,andtobearthistreatment!--Seeatyourfeetapoorcreature,imploringyourpity;who,foryoursake,isabandonedofalltheworld.Letnotmyfather'scursethusdreadfullyoperate!benotyoutheinflicter,whohavebeenthecauseofit:butspareme,Ibeseechyou,spareme!--forhowhaveIdeservedthistreatmentfromyou?foryourownsake,ifnotformysake,andasyouwouldthatGodAlmighty,inyourlasthour,shouldhavemercyuponyou,spareme!'

Whatheartbutmusthavebeenpenetrated!

Iwouldagainhaveraisedthedearsuppliantfromherknees;butshewouldnotberaised,tillmysoftenedmind,shesaid,hadyieldedtoherprayer,andbidherrisetobeinnocent.

Risethen,myangel!rise,andbewhatyouare,andallyouwishtobe!onlypronouncemepardonedforwhathaspassed,andtellmeyouwillcontinuetolookuponmewiththateyeoffavourandserenitywhichIhavebeenblessedwithforsomedayspast,andIwillsubmittomybelovedconqueress,whosepowerneverwasatsogreatanheightwithme,asnow,andretiretomyapartment.

GodAlmighty,saidshe,hearyourprayersinyourmostarduousmoments,asyouhaveheardmine!andnowleaveme,thismomentleaveme,tomyown



recollection:inthatyouwillleavemetomiseryenough,andmorethanyououghttowishtoyourbitterestenemy.

Imputenoteverything,mybestbeloved,todesign,fordesignitwasnot--

OMr.Lovelace!

Uponmysoul,Madam,thefirewasreal--[andsoitwas,Jack!]--Thehouse,mydearestlife,mighthavebeenconsumedbyit,asyouwillbeconvincedinthemorningbyoculardemonstration.

OMr.Lovelace!--

Letmypassionforyou,Madam,andtheunexpectedmeetingofyouatyourchamber-door,inanattitudesocharming--

Leaveme,leaveme,thismoment!--Ibeseechyouleaveme;lookingwildlyandinconfusionabouther,anduponherself.

Excuseme,mydearestcreature,forthoselibertieswhich,innocentastheywere,yourtoogreatdelicacymaymakeyoutakeamiss--

Nomore!nomore!--leaveme,Ibeseechyou!againlookinguponherself,

androundher,inasweetconfusion--Begone!begone!Thenweeping,shestruggledvehementlytowithdrawherhands,whichallthewhileIheldbetweenmine.--Herstruggles!--Owhatadditionalcharms,asInowreflect,didherstrugglesgivetoeveryfeature,everylimb,ofapersonsosweetlyelegantandlovely!

Impossible,mydearestlife,tillyoupronouncemypardon!--Saybutyouforgiveme!--saybutyouforgiveme!

Ibeseechyoutobegone!leavemetomyself,thatImaythinkwhatIcando,andwhatIoughttodo.

That,mydearestcreature,isnotenough.YoumusttellmethatIamforgiven;thatyouwillseemeto-morrowasifnothinghadhappened.

AndthenIclaspedheragaininmyarms,hopingshewouldnotforgiveme--

Iwill--Idoforgiveyou--wretchthatyouare!

Nay,myClarissa!andisitsuchareluctantpardon,mingledwithawordsoupbraiding,thatIamtobeputoffwith,whenyouarethus(claspingherclosetome)inmypower?

Ido,Idoforgiveyou!

Heartily?

Yes,heartily!

Andfreely?

Freely!

Andwillyoulookuponmeto-morrowasifnothinghadpassed?



Yes,yes!

Icannottakethesepeevishaffirmatives,somuchlikeintentionalnegatives!--Say,youwill,uponyourhonour.

Uponmyhonour,then--Oh!now,begone!begone!--andnevernever--

What!never,myangel!--Isthisforgiveness?

Never,saidshe,letwhathaspassedberememberedmore!

Iinsistedupononekisstosealmypardon--andretiredlikeafool,awoman'sfool,asIwas!--Isneakinglyretired!--Couldstthouhavebelievedit?

ButIhadnosoonerenteredmyownapartment,thanreflectingupontheopportunityIhadlost,andthatallIhadgainedwasbutanincreaseofmyowndifficulties;andupontheridiculeIshouldmeetwithbelowuponaweaknesssomuchoutofmyusualcharacter;Irepented,andhastenedback,inhopethat,throughthedistressofmindwhichIleftherin,shehadnotsosoonfastenedthedoor;andIwasfullyresolvedtoexecuteallmypurposes,betheconsequencewhatitwould;for,thoughtI,Ihavealreadysinnedbeyondcordialforgiveness,Idoubt;andiffitsand

desperationensue,Icanbutmarryatlast,andthenIshallmakeheramends.

ButIwasjustlypunished;forherdoorwasfast:andhearinghersighandsob,asifherheartwouldburst,Mybelovedcreature,saidI,rappinggently,[thesobbingsthenceasing,]Iwantbuttosaythreewordstoyou,whichmustbethemostacceptableyoueverheardfromme.Letmeseeyououtforonemoment.

IthoughtIheardhercomingtoopenthedoor,andmyheartleaptinthathope;butitwasonlytodrawanotherbolt,tomakeitstillthefaster;andsheeithercouldnotorwouldnotanswerme,butretiredtothefartherendofherapartment,tohercloset,probably;and,morelikea

foolthanbefore,againIsneakedaway.

Thiswasmine,myplot!andthiswasallImadeofit!--Ilovehermorethanever!--AndwellImay!--neversawIpolishedivorysobeautifulasherarmsandshoulders;nevertouchedIvelvetsosoftasherskin:hervirginbosom--OBelford,sheisallperfection!thensuchanelegance!--Inherstrugglinglosinghershoe,(butjustslipton,asItoldthee,)herprettyfootequallywhiteanddelicateasthehandofanyotherwoman,orevenherownhand!

ButseestthounotthatIhaveaclaimofmeritforagracethateverybodyhithertohaddeniedme?andthatisforacapacityofbeingmovedbyprayersandtears--Where,where,onthisoccasion,wasthecallous,where

theflint,bywhichmyheartwassaidtobesurrounded?

This,indeed,isthefirstinstance,inthelikecase,thateverIwaswroughtupon.Butwhy?because,Ineverbeforeencounteredaresistancesomuchinearnest:aresistance,inshort,soirresistible.

Whatatriumphhashersexobtainedinmythoughtsbythistrial,andthisresistance?

Butifshecannowforgiveme--can!--shemust.Hasshenotuponher



honouralreadydoneit?--Buthowwillthedearcreaturekeepthatpartofherpromisewhichengageshertoseemeinthemorningasifnothinghadhappened?

Shewouldgivetheworld,Ifancy,tohavethefirstinterviewover!--Shehadnotbestreproachme--yetnottoreproachme!--whatacharmingpuzzle!--Letherbreakherwordwithmeatherperil.Flymeshecannot--noappealsliefrommytribunal--Whatfriendhassheintheworld,ifmycompassionexertnotitselfinherfavour?--andthentheworthyCaptainTomlinson,andheruncleHarlowe,willbeabletomakeallupforme,bemynextoffencewhatitmay.

Astothyapprehensionsofhercommittinganyrashnessuponherself,whatevershemighthavedoneinherpassion,ifshecouldhaveseizeduponherscissors,orfoundanyotherweapon,Idaresaythereisnofearofthatfromherdeliberatemind.Amanhastroubleenoughwiththesetrulypious,andtrulyvirtuousgirls;[nowIbelievetherearesuch;]hehadneedtohavesomebenefitfrom,somesecurityin,therectitudeoftheirminds.

Inshort,Ifearnothinginthisladybutgrief:yetthat'saslowworker,youknow;andgivestimetopopinalittlejoybetweenitssullenfits.

LETTERXVII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.THURSDAYMORNING,EIGHTO'CLOCK.

Herchamber-doorhasnotyetbeenopened.Imustnotexpectshewillbreakfastwithme.Nordinewithme,Idoubt.Alittlesillysoul,whattroublesdoesshemaketoherselfbyherover-niceness!--AllIhavedonetoher,wouldhavebeenlookeduponasafroliconly,arompingbout,andlaughedoffbyninepartsintenofthesexaccordingly.Themoreshe

makesofit,themorepainfultoherself,aswellastome.

Whynow,Jack,wereitnotbetter,uponherownnotions,thatsheseemednotsosensibleasshewillmakeherselftobe,ifsheisveryangry?

ButperhapsIammoreafraidthanIneed.IbelieveIam.Fromherover-nicenessarisesmyfear,morethanfromanyextraordinaryreasonforresentment.Nexttime,shemaycountherselfveryhappy,ifshecomeoffnoworse.

Thedearcreaturewassofrightened,andsofatigued,lastnight,nowondersheliesitoutthismorning.

IhopeshehashadmorerestthanIhavehad.Softandbalmy,Ihope,havebeenherslumbers,thatshemaymeetmeintolerabletemper.Allsweetlyblushingandconfounded--Iknowhowshewilllook!--Butwhyshouldshe,thesufferer,beashamed,whenI,thetrespasser,amnot?

Butcustomisaprodigiousthing.Thewomenaretoldhowmuchtheirblushesheightentheirgraces:theypractiseforthemtherefore:blushescomeashastilywhentheycallforthem,astheirtears:aye,that'sit!Whilewemen,takingblushesforasignofguiltorsheepishness,areequallystudioustosuppressthem.



***

Bymytroth,Jack,Iamhalfasmuchashamedtoseethewomenbelow,asmyfair-onecanbetoseeme.Ihavenotyetopenedmydoor,thatImaynotbeobtrudeduponmythem.

Afterall,whatdevilsmayonemakeofthesex!Towhataheightof--whatshallIcallit?--mustthoseofitbearrived,whooncelovedamanwithsomuchdistinction,asbothPollyandSallylovedme;andyetcanhavegotsomuchabovethepangsofjealousy,somuchabovethemortifyingreflectionsthatarisefromdividingandsharingwithnewobjectstheaffectionsofthemtheyprefertoallothers,astowishfor,andpromoteacompetitorshipinhislove,andmaketheirsupremedelightconsistinreducingotherstotheirlevel!--Forthoucanstnotimagine,howevenSallyMartinrejoicedlastnightinthethoughtthatthelady'shourwasapproaching.

PASTTENO'CLOCK.

Ineverlongedinmylifeforanythingwithsomuchimpatienceastosee

mycharmer.Shehasbeenstirring,itseems,thesetwohours.Dorcasjustnowtappedatherdoor,totakehermorningcommands.

Shehadnoneforher,wastheanswer.

Shedesiredtoknow,ifshewouldnotbreakfast?

Asullenandlow-voicednegativereceivedDorcas.

Iwillgomyself.

***

ThreedifferenttimestappedIatthedoor,buthadnoanswer.

Permitme,dearestcreature,toinquireafteryourhealth.Asyouhavenotbeenseento-day,Iamimpatienttoknowhowyoudo.

Notawordofanswer;butadeepsigh,eventosobbing.

Letmebegofyou,Madam,toaccompanymeupanotherpairofstairs--you'llrejoicetoseewhatahappyescapewehaveallhad.

Ahappyescapeindeed,Jack!--Forthefirehadscorchedthewindow-board,singedthehangings,andburntthroughtheslit-dealliningsofthewindow-jambs.

Noanswer,Madam!--AmInotworthyofoneword?--Isitthusyoukeepyourpromisewithme?--ShallInothavethefavourofyourcompanyfortwominutes[onlyfortwominutes]inthedining-room?

Hem!--andadeepsigh!--werealltheanswer.



Answermebuthowyoudo!Answermebutthatyouarewell!Isthistheforgivenessthatwastheconditionofmyobedience?

Then,withafaintish,butangryvoice,begonefrommydoor!--Wretch!inhuman,barbarous,andallthatisbaseandtreacherous!begonefrommydoor!Norteasethusapoorcreature,entitledtoprotection,notoutrage.

Isee,Madam,howyoukeepyourwordwithme--ifasuddenimpulse,theeffectsofanunthought-ofaccident,cannotbeforgiven--

Othedreadfulweightofafather'scurse,thusintheveryletterofit--

Andthenhervoicedyingawayinmurmursinarticulate,Ilookedthroughthekey-hole,andsawheronherknees,herface,thoughnottowardsme,liftedup,aswellashands,andthesefolded,depreciating,Isuppose,thatgloomytyrant'scurse.

Icouldnothelpbeingmoved.

Mydearestlife!admitmetoyourpresencebutfortwominutes,andconfirmyourpromisedpardon;andmaylightningblastmeonthespot,ifIofferanythingbutmypenitence,atashrinesosacred!--Iwill

afterwardsleaveyouforawholeday;tillto-morrowmorning;andthenattendyouwithwritings,allreadytosign,alicenseobtained,orifitcannot,aministerwithoutone.Thisoncebelieveme!Whenyouseetherealityofthedangerthatgaveoccasionforthisyourunhappyresentment,youwillthinklesshardlyofme.AndletmebeseechyoutoperformapromiseonwhichImadeareliancenotaltogetherungenerous.

Icannotseeyou!WouldtoHeavenIneverhad!IfIwrite,that'sallIcando.

Letyourwritingthen,mydearestlife,confirmyourpromise:andIwillwithdrawinexpectationofit.

PASTELEVENO'CLOCK.

SherungherbellforDorcas;and,withherdoorinherhand,onlyhalfopened,gaveherabilletforme.

Howdidthedearcreaturelook,Dorcas?

Shewasdressed.Sheturnedherfacequitefromme;andsighed,asifherheartwouldbreak.

Sweetcreature:--Ikissedthewetwafer,anddrewitfromthepaperwithmybreath.

Thesearethecontents.--NoinscriptiveSir!NoMr.Lovelace!

Icannotseeyou:norwillI,ifIcanhelpit.Wordscannotexpresstheanguishofmysouonyourbasenessandingratitude.

Ifthecircumstancesofthingsaresuch,thatIcanhavenowayforreconciliationwiththosewhowouldhavebeenmynaturalprotectorsfromsuchoutrages,butthroughyou,[theonlyinducementIhavetostaya



momentlongerinyourknowledge,]penandinkmustbe,atpresent,theonlymeansofcommunicationbetweenus.

Vilestofmen,andmostdetestableofplotters!howhaveIdeservedfromyoutheshockingindignities--butnomore--onlyforyourownsake,wishnot,atleastforaweektocome,tosee

TheundeservedlyinjuredandinsultedCLARISSAHARLOWE

***

Sothouseest,nothingcouldhavestoodmeinstead,butthisplotofTomlinsonandheruncle!Towhataprettypass,nevertheless,haveIbroughtmyself!--HadCaesarbeensuchafool,hehadneverpassedtherubicon.Butafterhehadpassedit,hadheretreatedreinfecta,intimidatedbyasenatorialedict,whataprettyfigurewouldhehavemadeinhistory!--Imighthaveknown,thattoattemptarobbery,andputapersoninbodilyfear,isaspunishableasiftherobberyhadbeenactuallycommitted.

Butnottoseeherforaweek!--Dear,prettysoul!howsheanticipatesme

ineverything!Thecounsellorwillhavefinishedthewritingsto-dayorto-morrow,atfurthest:thelicensewiththeparson,ortheparsonwithoutthelicense,mustalsobeprocuredwithinthenextfour-and-twentyhours;Prtichardisasgoodasreadywithhisindenturestripartite:Tomlinsonisathandwithafavourableanswerfromheruncle--yetnottoseeherforaweek!----Dearsweetsoul;--hergoodangelisgoneajourney:istruantingatleast.Butnevertheless,inthyweek'stime,orinmuchless,mycharmer,Idoubtnottocompletemytriumph!

Butwhatvexesmeofallthingsis,thatsuchanexcellentcreatureshouldbreakherword:--Fie,fie,uponher!--Butnobodyisabsolutelyperfect!'Tishumantoerr,butnottopersevere--Ihopemycharmercannotbeinhuman!

LETTERXVIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.KING'SARMS,PALL-MALL,THURSDAY,TWOO'CLOCK.

SeveralbilletspassedbetweenusbeforeIwentout,bytheinternuncioshipofDorcas:forwhichreasonminearesuperscribedbyhermarriedname.--Shewouldnotopenherdoortoreceivethem;lestIshouldbenearit,Isuppose:soDorcaswasforcedtoputthemunderthedoor

(aftercopyingthemforthee);andthencetotaketheanswers.Readthem,ifthouwilt,atthisplace.

***

TOMRS.LOVELACE

Indeed,mydearestlife,youcarrythismattertoofar.Whatwillthe



peoplebelow,whosupposeusoneastotheceremony,thinkofsogreataniceness?Libertiessoinnocent!theoccasionsoaccidental!--Youwillexposeyourselfaswellasme.--Hithertotheyknownothingofwhathaspassed.Andwhatindeedhaspassedtooccasionallthisresentment?--Iamsureyouwillnot,byabreachofyourwordofhonour,givemereasontoconcludethat,hadInotobeyedyou,Icouldhavefarednoworse.

MostsincerelydoIrepenttheoffencegiventoyourdelicacy--ButmustI,forsoaccidentalanoccurrence,bebrandedbysuchshockingnames?--Vilestofmen,andmostdetestableofplotters,arehardwords!--Fromthepenofsuchaladytoo.

Ifyoustepupanotherpairofstairs,youwillbeconvinced,that,howeverdetestableImaybetoyou,Iamnoplotterinthisaffair.

Imustinsistuponseeingyou,inordertotakeyourdirectionsuponsomeofthesubjectswetalkedofyesterdayintheevening.

Allthatismorethannecessaryistoomuch.Iclaimyourpromisedpardon,andwishtopleaditonmyknees.

Ibegyourpresenceinthedining-roomforonequarterofanhour,andIwillthenleaveyoufortheday,Iam,

Mydearestlife,YoureveradoringandtrulypenitentLOVELACE.

***

TOMR.LOVELACE

Iwillnotseeyou.Icannotseeyou.Ihavenodirectionstogiveyou.LetProvidencedecideformeasitpleases.

ThemoreIreflectuponyourvileness,yourungrateful,yourbarbarousvileness,themoreIamexasperatedagainstyou.

YouarethelastpersonwhosejudgmentIwilltakeuponwhatisorisnotcarriedtoofarinmattersofdecency.

'Tisgrievoustometowrite,oreventothinkofyouatpresent.Urgemenomorethen.Oncemore,Iwillnotseeyou.NorcareI,nowyouhavemademeviletomyself,whatotherpeoplethinkofme.

***

TOMRS.LOVELACE

Again,Madam,Iremindyouofyourpromise:andbegleavetosay,Iinsistupontheperformanceofit.

Remember,dearestcreature,thatthefaultofablameablepersoncannotwarrantafaultinonemoreperfect.Overnicenessmaybeunderniceness!

Icannotreproachmyselfwithanythingthatdeservesthishigh



resentment.

Iownthattheviolenceofmypassionforyoumighthavecarriedmebeyondfitbounds--butthatyourcommandsandadjurationshadpowerovermeatsuchamoment,Ihumblypresumetosay,deservessomeconsideration.

Youenjoinmenottoseeyouforaweek.IfIhavenotyourpardonbeforeCaptainTomlinsoncomestotown,whatshallIsaytohim?

Ibegoncemoreyourpresenceinthedining-room.Bymysoul,Madam,Imustseeyou.

Iwanttoconsultyouaboutthelicense,andotherparticularsofgreatimportance.Thepeoplebelowthinkusmarried;andIcannottalktoyouuponsuchsubjectswiththedoorbetweenus.

ForHeaven'ssake,favourmewithyourpresenceforafewminutes:andIwillleaveyoufortheday.

IfIamtobeforgiven,accordingtoyourpromise,theearlierforgivenesswillbemostobliging,andwillsavegreatpaintoyourself,aswellasto

YourtrulycontriteandafflictedLOVELACE.

***

TOMR.LOVELACE

Themoreyouteaseme,theworseitwillbeforyou.

TimeiswantedtoconsiderwhetherIevershouldthinkofyouatall.

Atpresent,itismysincerewish,thatImaynevermoreseeyourface.

Allthatcanaffordyoutheleastshadowoffavourfromme,arisesfromthehoped-forreconciliationwithmyrealfriends,notmyJudasprotector.

Iamcarelessatpresentofconsequences.Ihatemyself:AndwhoisitIhavereasontovalue?--Notthemanwhocouldformaplottodisgracehisownhopes,aswellasapoorfriendlesscreature,(madefriendlessbyhimself,)byinsultsnottobethoughtofwithpatience.

***

TOMRS.LOVELACE

MADAM,IwillgototheCommons,andproceedineveryparticularasifIhadnotthemisfortunetobeunderyourdispleasure.

Imustinsistuponit,thathoweverfaultymypassion,onsounexpectedanincident,mademeappeartoaladyofyourdelicacy,yetmycompliance



withyourentreatiesatsuchamoment[asitgaveyouaninstanceofyourpoweroverme,whichfewmencouldhaveshown]ought,dulyconsidered,toentitlemetotheeffectsofthatsolemnpromisewhichwastheconditionofmyobedience.

Ihopetofindyouinakinder,and,Iwillsay,justerdispositiononmyreturn.WhetherIgetthelicense,ornot,letmebegofyoutomakethesoonyouhavebeenpleasedtobidmehopefor,to-morrowmorning.Thiswillreconcileeverything,andmakemethehappiestofmen.

Thesettlementsarereadytosign,orwillbebynight.

ForHeaven'ssake,Madam,donotcarryyourresentmentintoadispleasuresodisproportionatetotheoffence.Forthatwouldbetoexposeusbothtothepeoplebelow;and,whatisofinfinitemoreconsequencetous,toCaptainTomlinson.Letusbeable,Ibeseechyou,Madam,toassurehim,onhisnextvisit,thatweareone.

AsIhavenohopetobepermittedtodinewithyou,Ishallnotreturntillevening:andthen,Ipresumetosay,Iexpect[yourpromiseauthorizesmetousetheword]tofindyoudisposedtobless,byyourconsentforto-morrow,

Youradoring

LOVELACE.

***

WhatpleasuredidIproposetotake,howtoenjoythesweetconfusioninwhichIexpectedtofindher,whileallwassorecent!--Butshemust,sheshall,seemeonmyreturn.Itwerebettertoherself,aswellasforme,thatshehadnotmadesomuchadoaboutnothing.Imustkeepmyangeralive,lestitsinkintocompassion.Loveandcompassion,betheprovocationeversogreat,arehardtobeseparated:whileangerconvertswhatwouldbepity,withoutit,intoresentment.Nothingcanbelovely

inaman'seyewithwhichheisthoroughlydispleased.

IorderedDorcas,onputtingthelastbilletunderthedoor,andfindingittakenup,totellher,thatIhopedananswertoitbeforeIwentout.

Herreplywasverbal,tellhimthatIcarenotwhitherhegoes,norwhathedoes.--Andthis,re-urgedbyDorcas,wasallshehadtosaytome.

Ilookedthroughthekey-holeatmygoingbyherdoor,andsawheronherknees,atherbed'sfeet,herheadandbosomonthebed,herarmsextended;[sweetcreaturehowIadoreher!]andinanagonysheseemedtobe,sobbing,asIheardatthatdistance,asifherheartwouldbreak.--Bymysoul,Jack,Iamapityfulfellow!Recollectionismyenemy!--

Divineexcellence!--Happywithherforsomanydaystogether!Nowsounhappy!--Andforwhat?--Butsheispurityherself.Andwhy,afterall,shouldIthustorment--butImustnottrustmyselfwithmyself,inthehumourIamin.

***

WaitinghereforMowbrayandMallory,bywhoseaidIamtogetthe



license,Itookpapersoutofmypocket,todivertmyself;andthylastpoptofficiouslythefirstintomyhand.Igaveitthehonourofare-perusal;andthisrevivedthesubjectwithme,withwhichIhadresolvednottotrustmyself.

Iremember,thatthedearcreature,inhertornanswertomyproposals,says,condescensionisnotmeanness.Shebetterknowshowtomakethisout,thananymortalbreathing.Condescensionindeedimpliesdignity:anddignityeverwasthereinhercondescension.Yetsuchadignityasgavegracetothecondescension;fortherewasnopride,noinsult,noapparentsuperiority,indicatedbyit.--This,MissHoweconfirmstobeapartofhergeneralcharacter.*

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXIII.

Icantellher,howshemightbehave,tomakemeherownforever.Sheknowsshecannotflyme.Sheknowsshemustseemesoonerorlater;thesoonerthemoregracious.--Iwouldallowhertoresent[notbecausethelibertiesItookwithherrequireresentment,wereshenotaCLARISSA;butasitbecomesherparticularnicenesstoresent]:butwouldsheshowmorelovethanabhorrenceofmeinherresentment;wouldsheseem,ifitwerebuttoseem,tobelievethefirenodevice,andallthatfollowed

merelyaccidental;anddescend,uponit,totenderexpostulation,andupbraidingfortheadvantageIwouldhavetakenofhersurprise;andwouldshe,atlast,besatisfied(aswellshemay)thatitwasattendedwithnofurtherconsequence;andplacesomegenerousconfidenceinmyhonour,[powerlovestobetrusted,Jack;]IthinkIwouldputanendtoallhertrials,andpayhermyvowsatthealtar.

Yet,tohavetakensuchboldsteps,aswithTomlinsonandheruncle--tohavemadesuchaprogress--OBelford,Belford,howIhavepuzzledmyself,aswellasher!--Thiscursedaversiontowedlockhowithasentangledme!--Whatcontradictionshasitmademeguiltyof!

Howpleasingtomyself,tolookbackuponthehappydaysIgaveher;

thoughminewoulddoubtlesshavebeenunmixedlyso,couldIhavedeterminedtolayasidemycontrivances,andtobeassincereallthetime,asshedeservedthatIshouldbe!

IfIfindthishumourholdbuttillto-morrowmorning,[andithasnowlastedtwofullhours,andIseem,methinks,tohavepleasureinencouragingit,]Iwillmaketheeavisit,Ithink,orgettheetocometome;andthenwillI--consulttheeuponit.

Butshewillnottrustme.Shewillnotconfideinmyhonour.Doubt,inthiscase,isdefiance.Shelovesmenotwellenoughtoforgivemegenerously.Sheissogreatlyaboveme!HowcanIforgiveherforameritsomortifyingtomypride!Shethinks,sheknows,shehastoldme,

thatsheisaboveme.Thesewordsarestillinmyears,'Begone,Lovelace!--Mysoulisabovethee,man!--Thouhastaproudhearttocontendwith!--Mysoulisabovethee,man!'*MissHowethinksherabovemetoo.Thou,eventhou,myfriend,myintimatefriendandcompanion,artofthesameopinion.ThenIfearherasmuchasIloveher.--Howshallmypridebearthesereflections?Mywife(asIhaveoftensaid,becauseitsooftenrecurstomythoughts)tobesomuchmysuperior!--Myselftobeconsideredbutasthesecondpersoninmyownfamily!--Canstthouteachmetobearsuchareflectionasthis!--Totellmeofmyacquisitioninher,andthatshe,withallherexcellencies,willbemine



infullproperty,isamistake--itcannotbeso--forshallInotbeher's;andnotmyown?--Willnoteveryactofherduty(asIcannotdeserveit)beacondescension,andatriumphoverme?--AndmustIoweitmerelytohergoodnessthatshedoesnotdespiseme?--Tohavehercondescendtobearwithmyfollies!--Towoundmewithaneyeofpity!--AdaughteroftheHarlowesthustoexcelthelast,andasIhaveheretoforesaid,notthemeanestoftheLovelaces**--forbidit!

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXLVII.**SeeVol.III.LetterXVIII.

Yetforbiditnot--fordoInotnow--doInoteverymoment--seeherbeforemeallovercharms,andeleganceandpurity,asinthestrugglesofthepastmidnight?Andinthesestruggles,heart,voice,eyes,hand,andsentiments,sogreatly,sogloriouslyconsistentwiththecharactershehassustainedfromhercradletothepresenthour?

ButwhatadvantagesdoIgivethee?

YethaveInotalwaysdoneherjustice?Whythenthyteasingimpertinence?

However,Iforgivethee,Jack--since(somuchgenerousloveamIcapableof!)Ihadratheralltheworldshouldcondemnme,thanthathercharactershouldsuffertheleastimpeachment.

Thedearcreatureherselfoncetoldme,thattherewasastrangemixtureinmymind.*IhavebeencalledDevilandBeelzebub,betweenthetwoproudbeauties:ImustindeedbeaBeelzebub,ifIhadnotsometolerablequalities.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXXXIII.

ButasMissHowesays,thesufferingtimeofthisexcellentcreatureishershiningtime.*Hithertoshehasdonenothingbutshine.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXIII.

Shecalledmevillain,Belford,withinthesefewhours.Andwhatisthesumofthepresentargument;butthathadInotbeenavillaininhersenseoftheword,shehadnotbeensuchanangel?

OJack,Jack!Thismidnightattempthasmadememad;hasutterlyundoneme!Howcanthedearcreaturesay,Ihavemadehervileinherowneyes,

whenherbehaviourundersuchasurprise,andherresentmentundersuchcircumstances,havesogreatlyexaltedherinmine?

Whence,however,thisstrangerhapsody?--Isitowingtomybeinghere?ThatIamnotatSinclair's?Butiftherebeinfectioninthathouse,howhasmybelovedescapedit?

Butnomoreinthisstrain!--Iwillseewhatherbehaviourwillbeonmyreturn--yetalreadydoIbegintoapprehendsomelittlesinkings,somelittleretrogradations:forIhavejustnowadoubtarisen,whether,for



herownsake,Ishouldwishhertoforgivemelightly,orwithdifficulty?

***

Iaminawaytocomeatthewished-forlicense.

Ihavenowgiveneverythingbetweenmybelovedandmeafullconsideration;andmypuzzleisover.Whathasbroughtmetoaspeedierdeterminationis,thatIthinkIhavefoundoutwhatshemeansbytheweek'sdistanceatwhichsheintendstoholdme.Itis,thatshemayhavetimetowritetoMissHowe,toputinmotionthatcursedschemeofher's,andtotakemeasuresuponitwhichshallenablehertoabandonandrenouncemeforever.Now,Jack,ifIobtainnotadmissiontoherpresenceonmyreturn;butamrefusedwithhaughtiness;ifherweekbeinsistedupon(suchprospectsbeforeher);Ishallbeconfirmedinmyconjecture;anditwillbeplaintome,thatweakatbestwasthatlove,whichcouldgiveplacetopunctilio,atatimewhenthatall-reconcilingceremony,asshemustthink,waitshercommand:--thenwillIrecollectallherperversenesses;thenwillIre-peruseMissHowe'sletters,andthetranscriptsfromothersofthem;givewaytomyaversiontothelifeofshackles:andthenshallshebemineinmyownway.

But,afterall,Iaminhopesthatshewillhavebetterconsideredofeverythingbytheevening;thatherthreatofaweek'sdistancewasthrownoutintheheatofpassion;andthatshewillallow,thatIhaveasmuchcausetoquarrelwithherforbreachofherword,asshehaswithmeforbreachofthepeace.

TheselinesofRowehavegotintomyhead;andIshallrepeatthemverydevoutlyallthewaythechairmanshallpoppetmetowardsherby-and-by.

Teachme,somepower,thehappyartofspeech,Todressmypurposeupingraciouswords;Suchasmaysoftlystealuponhersoul,

Andneverwakenthetempestuouspassions.

LETTERXIX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.THURSDAYEVENING,JUNE8.

Oforacursetokillwith!--Ruined!Undone!Outwitted!Tricked!--Zounds,man,theladyhasgoneoff!--Absolutelygoneoff!Escaped!--

Thouknowestnot,norcanstconceive,thepangsthatwringmyheart!--WhatcanIdo!--OLord,OLord,OLord!

Andthou,too,whohastendeavouredtoweakenmyhands,wiltbutclapthydragon'swingsatthetidings!

YetImustwrite,orIshallgodistracted!LittlelesshaveIbeenthesetwohours;dispatchingmessengerstoeverystage,toeveryinn,toeverywaggonorcoach,whetherflyingorcreeping,andtoeveryhouse



withabillup,forfivemilesaround.

Thelittlehypocrite,whoknowsnotasoulinthistown,[IthoughtIwassureofheratanytime,]suchanunexperiencedtraitress--givingmehopetoo,inherfirstbillet,thatherexpectationofthefamily-reconciliationwouldwithholdherfromtakingsuchastepasthis--curseuponhercontrivances!--Ithought,thatitwasowingtoherbashfulness,tohermodesty,that,afterafewinnocentfreedoms,shecouldnotlookmeintheface;when,allthewhile,shewasimpudently[yes,Isay,impudently,thoughshebeClarissaHarlowe]contrivingtorobmeofthedearestpropertyIhadeverpurchased--purchasedbyapainfulservitudeofmanymonths;fightingthroughthewild-beastsofherfamilyforher,andcombatingwithawind-millvirtue,whichhathcostmemillionsofperjuriesonlytoattempt;andwhichnow,withitsdamn'dair-fans,hastostmeamileandahalfbeyondhope!--Andthis,justasIhadarrivedwithinviewoftheconsummationofallmywishes!

ODevilofLove!GodofLovenomore--howhaveIdeservedthisofthee!--Neverbeforethefriendoffrozenvirtue?--Powerlessdemon,forpowerlessthoumustbe,ifthoumeanedestnottofrustratemyhopes;whoshallhenceforthkneelatthyaltars!--Mayeveryenterprisingheartabhor,despise,execrate,renouncethee,asIdo!--But,OBelford,Belford,whatsignifiescursingnow!

***

Howshecouldeffectthisherwickedescapeismyastonishment;thewholesisterhoodhavingchargeofher;--for,asyet,Ihavenothadpatienceenoughtoinquireintotheparticulars,nortoletasoulofthemapproachme.

OfthisIamsure,orIhadnotbroughtherhither,thereisnotacreaturebelongingtothishouse,thatcouldbecorruptedeitherbyvirtueorremorse:thehighestjoyeveryinfernalnymph,ofthisworsethaninfernalhabitation,couldhaveknown,wouldhavebeentoreduce

thisproudbeautytoherownlevel.--Andastomyvillain,whoalsohadchargeofher,heissuchaseasonedvarlet,thathedelightsinmischiefforthesakeofit:nobribecouldseducehimtobetrayhistrust,weretherebutwickednessinit!--'Tiswell,however,hewasoutofmywaywhenthecursednewswasimpartedtome!--Gone,thevillain!inquestofher:nottoreturn,nortoseemyface[soitseemshedeclared]tillhehasheardsometidingsofher;andalltheout-of-placevarletsofhisnumerousacquaintancearesummonedandemployedinthesamebusiness.

TowhatpurposebroughtIthisangel(angelImustyetcallher)tothishellishhouse?--AndwasInotmeditatingtodoherdeservedhonour?Bymysoul,Belford,Iwasresolved--butthouknowestwhatIhadconditionallyresolved--Andnow,whocantellintowhathandsshemay

havefallen!

Iammad,starkmad,byJupiter,atthethoughtsofthis!--Unprovided,destitute,unacquainted--somevillain,worsethanmyself,whoadoreshernotasIadoreher,mayhaveseizedher,andtakenadvantageofherdistress!--Letmeperish,Belford,ifawholehecatombofinnocents,asthelittleplaguesarecalled,shallatoneforthebrokenpromisesandwickedartificesofthiscruelcreature!



***

Goinghome,asIdid,withresolutionsfavourabletoher,judgethouofmydistraction,whenherescapewasfirsthintedtome,althoughbutinbrokensentences.IknewnotwhatIsaid,norwhatIdid.Iwantedtokillsomebody.Iflewoutofoneroomintoanother,whobrokethemattertome.Ichargedbriberyandcorruption,inmyfirstfury,uponall;andthreateneddestructiontooldandyoung,astheyshouldcomeinmyway.

Dorcascontinueslockedupfromme:SallyandPollyhavenotyetdaredtoappear:thevileSinclair--

Butherecomestheodiousdevil.Shetapsatthedoor,thoughtthat'sonlya-jar,whiningandsnuffling,totry,Isuppose,tocoaxmeintotemper.

***

Whatahelplessstate,whereamancanonlyexecratehimselfandothers;theoccasionofhisrageremaining;theevilincreasinguponreflection;timeitselfconspiringtodeepenit!--OhowIcurs'dher!

Ihavehernow,methinks,beforeme,blubbering--howodiousdoessorrowmakeanuglyface!--Thine,Jack,andthisoldbeldam's,inpenitentials,insteadofmovingcompassion,mustevermoreconfirmhatred;whilebeautyintears,isbeautyheightened,andwhatmyhearthaseverdelightedtosee.----

'Whatexcuse!--Confoundyou,andyourcurseddaughters,whatexcusecanyoumake?--Isshenotgone--Hasshenotescaped?--ButbeforeIamquitedistracted,beforeIcommithalfahundredmurders,letmehearhowitwas.'----

***

Ihaveheardherstory!--Art,damn'd,confounded,wicked,unpardonableart,isawomanofhercharacter--Butshowmeawoman,andI'llshowtheeaplotter!--Thisplaguysexisartitself:everyindividualofitisaplotterbynature.

Thisisthesubstanceoftheoldwretch'saccount.

Shetoldme,'ThatIhadnosoonerleftthevilehouse,thanDorcasacquaintedthesyren'[Do,Jack,letmecallhernames!--Ibeseechthee,Jack,topermitmetocallhernames!]'thatDorcasacquaintedherlady

withit;andthatIhadleftword,thatIwasgonetodoctors-commons,andshouldbeheardofforsomehoursattheHornthere,ifinquiredafterbythecounsellor,oranybodyelse:thatafterwardsIshouldbeeitherattheCocoa-tree,orKing's-Arms,andshouldnotreturntilllate.Shethenurgedhertotakesomerefreshment.

'ShewasintearswhenDorcasapproachedher;hersaucyeyesswelledwithweeping:sherefusedeithertoeatordrink;sighedasifherheartwouldbreak.'--False,devilishgrief!notthehumble,silent,grief,thatonlydeservespity!--Contrivingtoruinme,todespoilmeofallthatIheld



valuable,intheverymidstofit.

'Nevertheless,beingresolvednottoseemeforaweekatleast,sheorderedhertobringupthreeorfourFrenchrolls,withalittlebutter,andadecanterofwater;tellingher,shewoulddispensewithherattendance;andthatshouldbeallsheshouldliveuponintheinterim.Soartfulcreature!pretendingtolayupforaweek'ssiege.'--For,astosubstantialfood,she,nomorethanotherangels--Angels!saidI--thedeviltakemeifshebeanymoreanangel!--forsheisodiousinmyeyes;andIhatehermortally!

ButOLovelace,thouliest!--Sheisallthatislovely.Allthatisexcellent!

Butisshe,canshebegone!--Oh!howMissHowewilltriumph!--Butifthatlittlefuryreceiveher,fateshallmakemerichamends;forthenwillIcontrivetohavethemboth.

Iwaslookingbackforconnection--butthedeviltakeconnection;Ihavenobusinesswithit:thecontrarybestbefitsdistraction,andthatwillsoonbemylot!

'Dorcasconsultedtheoldwretchaboutobeyingher:Oyes,byallmeans;forMr.Lovelaceknewhowtocomeatheratanytime:anddirecteda

bottleofsherrytobeadded.'Thischeerfulcompliancesoobligedher,thatshewasprevailedupontogoup,andlookatthedamagedonebythefire;andseemednotonlyshockedbyit,but,astheythought,satisfieditwasnotrick;assheownedshehadatfirstapprehendedittobe.Allthismadethemsecure;andtheylaughedintheirsleeves,tothinkwhatachildishwayofshowingherresentmentshehadfoundout;Sallythrowingoutherwitticisms,thatMrs.Lovelacewasright,however,nottoquarrelwithherbreadandbutter.'

Nowthisverychildishness,astheyimaginedit,insuchagenius,wouldhavemademesuspecteitherherhead,afterwhathadhappenedthenight

before;orherpurpose,whenthemarriagewas(sofarassheknew)tobecompletedwithintheweekinwhichshewasresolvedtosecreteherselffrommeinthesamehouse.

'ShesentWill.withalettertoWilson's,directedtoMissHowe,orderinghimtoinquireiftherewerenotoneforherthere.

'Heonlypretendedtogo,andbroughtwordtherewasnone;andputherletterinhispocketforme.

'Shethenorderedhimtocarryanother(whichshegavehim)totheHornTaverntome.--Allthisdonewithoutanyseeminghurry:yetsheappearedtobeverysolemn;andputherhandkerchieffrequentlytohereyes.

'Will.pretendedtocometomewiththisletter.Butthouthedoghadthesagacitytomistrustsomethingonhersendinghimoutasecondtime;(andtome,whomshehadrefusedtosee;)whichhethoughtextraordinary;andmentionedhismistruststoSally,Polly,andDorcas;yettheymadelightofhissuspicions;Dorcasassuringthemall,thatherladyseemedmorestupidwithhergrief,thanactive;andthatshereallybelievedshewasalittleturnedinherhead,andknewnotwhatshedid.Butallofthemdependeduponherinexperience,heropentemper,anduponhernotmakingtheleastmotiontowardsgoingout,ortohaveacoachorchair



called,assometimesshehaddone;andstillmoreuponthepreparationsshehadmadeforaweek'ssiege,asImaycallit.

'Will.wentout,pretendingtobringthelettertome;butquicklyreturned;hisheartstillmisgivinghim,onrecollectingmyfrequentcautions,thathewasnottojudgeforhimself,whenhehadpositiveorders;butifanydoubtoccurred,fromcircumstancesIcouldnotforesee,literallytofollowthem,astheonlywaytoavoidblame.

'Butitmusthavebeeninthislittleinterval,thatsheescaped;forsoonafterhisreturn,theymadefastthestreet-doorandhatch,themotherandthetwonymphstakingalittleturnintothegarden;Dorcasgoingupstairs,andWill.(toavoidbeingseenbyhislady,orhisvoiceheard)downintothekitchen.

'Abouthalfanhourafter,Dorcas,whohadplantedherselfwhereshecouldseeherlady'sdooropen,hadthecuriositytogolookthroughthekeyhole,havingamisgiving,asshesaid,thattheladymightoffersomeviolencetoherself,inthemoodshehadbeeninallday;andfindingthekeyinthedoor,whichwasnotveryusual,shetappedatitthreeorfourtimes,andhavingnoanswer,openedit,withMadam,Madam,didyoucall?--Supposingherinhercloset.

'Havingnoanswer,shesteptforward,andwasastonishedtofindshewas

notthere.Shehastilyranintothedining-room,thenintomyapartments;searchedeverycloset;dreadingallthetimetobeholdsomesadcatastrophe.

'Notfindingheranywhere,sherandowntotheoldcreature,andhernymphs,withaHaveyouseenmylady?--Thenshe'sgone!--She'snowhereabove!

'Theyweresureshecouldnotbegoneout.

'Thewholehousewasinanuproarinaninstant;somerunningup-stairs,somedown,fromtheupperroomstothelower;andallscreaming,Howshouldtheylookmeintheface!

'Will.criedout,hewasadeadman:heblamedthem;theyhim;andeveryonewasanaccuser,andanexcuser,atthesametime.

'Whentheyhadsearchedthewholehouse,andeveryclosetinit,tentimesover,tonopurpose,theytookitintotheirheadstosendtoalltheporters,chairmen,andhackney-coachmen,thathadbeennearthehousefortwohourspast,toinquireifanyofthemsawsuchayounglady;describingher.

'Thisbroughtthemsomelight:theonlydawningforhope,thatIcanhave,andwhichkeepsmefromabsolutedespair.Oneofthechairmengavethemthisaccount:Thathesawsuchaonecomeoutofthehousealittle

beforefour(inagreathurry,andasiffrighted)withalittleparceltiedupinahandkerchief,inherhand:thathetooknoticetohisfellow,whopliedherwithoutheranswering,thatshewasafineyounglady:thathe'dwarrant,shehadeitherahusband,orverycrossparents;forthathereyesseemedswelledwithcrying.Uponwhich,athirdfellowreplied,thatitmightbeadoeescapedfrommotherDamnable'spark.ThisMrs.Sinclairtoldmewithacurse,andawishthatshehadabetterreputation;sohandsomelyasshelived,andsojustlyasshepaideverybodyforwhatshebought;herhousevisitedbythebestandcivilestofgentlemen;andnonoiseorbrawlseverheardorknowninit.



'Fromtheseappearances,thefellowwhogavethisinformation,hadthecuriositytofollowher,unperceived.Sheoftenlookedback.Everybodywhopassedher,turnedtolookafterher;passingtheirverdictuponhertears,herhurry,andhercharmingperson;tillcomingtoastandofcoaches,acoachmanpliedher;wasaccepted;alighted;openedthecoach-doorinahurry,seeingherhurry;andinitshestumbledforhaste;and,asthefellowbelieved,hurthershinwiththestumble.'

Thedeviltakeme,Belford,ifmygenerousheartisnotmovedforher,notwithstandingherwickeddeceit,tothinkwhatmustbeherreflectionsandapprehensionsatthetime:--Amindsodelicate,heedingnocensures;yet,probablyafraidofbeinglaidholdofbyaLovelaceineveryoneshesaw!Atthesametime,notknowingtowhatdangersshewasabouttoexposeherself;norofwhomshecouldobtainshelter;astrangertothetown,andtoallitsways;theafternoonfargone:butlittlemoney;andnoclothesbutthoseshehadon!

Itisimpossible,inthislittleintervalsincelastnight,thatMissHowe'sTownsendcouldbeco-operating.

Buthowshemustabhormetorunalltheserisques;howheartilyshemustdetestmeformyfreedomsoflastnight!Oh!thatIhadgivenhergreaterreasonforaresentmentsoviolent!--Astohervirtue,Iamtoo

muchenragedtogiveherthemeritduetothat.Tovirtueitcannotbeowingthatsheshouldflyfromthecharmingprospectsthatwerebeforeher;buttomalice,hatred,contempt,Harlowepride,(theworstofpride,)andtoallthedeadlypassionsthateverreignedinafemalebreast--andifIcanbutrecoverher--Butbestill,becalm,behushed,mystormypassions;forisitnotClarissa[HarlowemustIsay?]thatthusfarIraveagainst?

'Thefellowheardhersay,drivefast!veryfast!Where,Madam?ToHolborn-bars,answeredshe;repeating,Driveveryfast!--Andupshepulledboththewindows:andhelostsightofthecoachinaminute.

'Will.,assoonashehadthisintelligence,speededawayinhopesto

traceherout;declaring,thathewouldneverthinkofseeingme,tillhehadheardsometidingsofhislady.'

Andnow,Belford,allmyhopeis,thatthisfellow(whoattendedusinourairingtoHampstead,toHighgate,toMuswell-hill,toKentish-town)willhearofheratsomeoneorotherofthoseplaces.AndonthisItheratherbuild,asIremembershewasonce,afterourreturn,veryinquisitiveaboutthestages,andtheirprices;praisingtheconveniencytopassengersintheirgoingoffeveryhour;andthisinWill.'shearing,whowastheninattendance.Woebetothevillain,ifherecollectnotthis!

***

Ihavebeentraversingherroom,meditating,ortakingupeverythingshebuttouchedorused:theglassshedressedat,Iwasreadytobreak,fornotgivingmethepersonalimageitwaswonttoreflectofher,whoseideaisforeverpresentwithme.Icallforher,nowinthetenderest,nowinthemostreproachfulterms,asifwithinhearing:wantingher,Iwantmyownsoul,atleasteverythingdeartoit.Whatavoidinmyheart!whatachilnessinmyblood,asifitscirculationwasarrested!



Fromherroomtomyown;inthedining-room,andinandoutofeveryplacewhereIhaveseenthebelovedofmyheart,doIhurry;innonecanItarry;herlovelyimageineveryone,insomelivelyattitude,rushingcruellyuponme,indifferentlyrememberedconversations.

Butwheninmyfirstfury,atmyreturn,Iwentuptwopairsofstairs,resolvedtofindthelocked-upDorcas,andbeheldthevainly-burntwindow-board,andrecollectedmybaffledcontrivances,baffledbymyownweakfolly,Ithoughtmydistractioncompleted;anddownIranasonefrightedataspectre,readytohowlforvexation;myheadandmytemplesshootingwithaviolenceIhadneverfeltbefore;andmybackachingasifthevertebraeweredisjointed,andfallinginpieces.

ButnowthatIhaveheardthemother'sstory,andcontemplatedthedawninghopesgivenbythechairman'sinformation,Iamagooddealeasier,andcanmakecoolerreflections.MostheartilyprayIforWill.'ssuccess,everyfourorfiveminutes.IfIloseher,allmyragewillreturnwithredoubledfury.Thedisgracetobethusoutwittedbyanovice,aninfantinstratagemandcontrivance,addedtotheviolenceofmypassionforher,willeitherbreakmyheart,or(whatsavesmanyaheart,inevilsinsupportable)turnmybrain.WhathadItodotogooutalicense-hunting,atleasttillIhadseenher,andmadeupmatterswithher?Andindeed,wereitnottheprivilegeofaprincipaltolayallhisownfaultsuponhisunderlings,andneverbetoblamehimself,Ishould

beapttoreflect,thatIammoreinfaultthananybody.And,asthestingofthisreflectionwillsharpenuponme,ifIrecoverhernot,howshallIeverbeabletobearit?

Ifever--

[HereMr.Lovelacelayshimselfunderacurse,tooshockingtoberepeated,ifherevengenothimselfupontheLady,shouldheoncemoregetherintohishands.]

***

IhavejustnowdismissedthesnivelingtoadDorcas,whowasintroducedtomeformypardonbythewhiningmother.Igaveherakindofnegativeandungraciousforgiveness.YetIshallasviolentlycursethetwonymphs,by-and-by,fortheconsequencesofmyownfolly:andifthiswillbeagoodwaytootopreventtheirridiculeuponme,forlosingsogloriousanopportunityasIhadlastnight,orratherthismorning.

Ihavecorrected,fromtheresultoftheinquiriesmadeofthechairman,andfromDorcas'sobservationsbeforethecruelcreatureescaped,adescriptionofherdress;andamresolved,ifIcannototherwisehearofher,toadvertiseherinthegazette,asanelopedwife,bothbyher

maidenandacknowledgedname;forherelopementwillsoonbeknownbyeveryenemy:whythenshouldnotmyfriendsbemadeacquaintedwithit,fromwhoseinquiriesandinformationsImayexpectsometidingsofher?

'Shehadonabrownlustringnight-gown,fresh,andlookinglikenew,aseverythingshewearsdoes,whethernewornot,fromanelegancenaturaltoher.Abeaverhat,ablackribbonaboutherneck,andblueknotsonherbreast.Aquiltedpetticoatofcarnation-colouredsatin;arosediamondring,supposedonherfinger;andinherwholepersonandappearance,asIshallexpressit,adignity,aswellasbeauty,that



commandstherepeatedattentionofeveryonewhoseesher.'

ThedescriptionofherpersonIshalltakealittlemorepainsabout.Mymindmustbemoreatease,beforeIundertakethat.AndIshallthreaten,'thatif,afteracertainperiodgivenforhervoluntaryreturn,shebenotheardof,Iwillprosecuteanypersonwhopresumestoentertain,harbour,abet,orencourageher,withallthevengeancethataninjuredgentlemanandhusbandmaybewarrantedtotakebylaw,orotherwise.'

***

Freshcauseofaggravation!--Butforthisscribblingvein,orIshouldstillrunmad.

Againgoingintoherchamber,becauseitwasher's,andsighingoverthebed,andeverypieceoffurnitureinit,Icastmyeyetowardsthedrawersofthedressing-glass,andsawpeepout,asitwere,inoneofthehalf-drawndrawers,thecornerofaletter.Isnatcheditout,andfounditsuperscribed,byher,ToMr.Lovelace.Thesightofitmademyheartleap,andItrembledso,thatIcouldhardlyopentheseal.

Howdoesthisdamn'dloveunmanme!--butnobodyeverlovedasIlove!--Itisevenincreasedbyherunworthyflight,andmydisappointment.Ungratefulcreature,toflyfromapassionthusardentlyflaming!which,likethepalm,risesthemoreforbeingdepressedandslighted.

Iwillnotgivetheeacopyofthisletter.Iowehernotsomuchservice.

Butwouldstthouthink,thatthishaughtypromise-breakercouldresolveasshedoes,absolutelyandforevertorenouncemeforwhatpassedlastnight?Thatshecouldresolvetoforegoallheropeningprospectsofreconciliation;thereconciliationwithaworthlessfamily,onwhichshehassetherwholeheart?--Yetshedoes--sheacquitsmeofallobligation

toher,andherselfofallexpectationsfromme--Andforwhat?--OthatindeedIhadgivenherrealcause!Damn'dconfoundedniceness,prudery,affectation,orprettyignorance,ifnotaffectation!--Bymysoul,Belford,Itoldtheeall--Iwasmoreindebtedtoherstruggles,thantomyownforwardness.Icannotsupportmyownreflectionsuponadecencysoill-requited.--Shecouldnot,shewouldnothavebeensomuchaHarloweinherresentment.Allshefearedhadthenbeenover;andherowngoodsense,andevenmodesty,wouldhavetaughthertomakethebestofit.

ButifeveragainIgetherintomyhands,art,andmoreart,andcompulsiontoo,ifshemakeitnecessary,[and'tisplainthatnothingelsewilldo,]shallsheexperiencefromthemanwhosefearofherhas

beenaboveevenhispassionforher;andwhosegentlenessandforbearanceshehasthusperfidiouslytriumphedover.Well,saysthePoet,

'TisnoblerlikealiontoinvadeWhenappetitedirects,andseizemyprey,Thantowaittamely,likeabeggingdog,Tilldullconsentthrowsoutthescrapsoflove.

ThouknowestwhatIhavesolatelyvowed--andyet,attimes[cruelcreature,andungratefulascruel!]Icansubscribewithtoomuchtruth



tothoselinesofanotherPoet:

Shereignsmorefullyinmysoulthanever;Shegarrisonsmybreast,andmansagainstmeEv'nmyownrebelthoughts,withthousandgraces,Tenthousandcharms,andnew-discoveredbeauties!

LETTERXX


AletterisputintomyhandsbyWilsonhimself.--Suchaletter!

AletterfromMissHowetohercruelfriend!--

Imadenoscrupletoopenit.

ItisamiraclethatIfellnotintofitsatthereadingofit;andatthethoughtofwhatmighthavebeentheconsequence,haditcomeintothehandsofthisClarissaHarlowe.Letmyjustly-excitedrageexcusemyirreverence.

Collins,thoughnothisday,broughtitthisafternoontoWilson's,withaparticulardesirethatitmightbesentwithallspeedtoMissBeaumont'slodgings,andgiven,ifpossible,intoherownhands.Hehadbeforebeenhere(atMrs.Sinclair'swithintenttodeliverittotheladywithhisownhand;butwastold[tootrulytold!]thatshewasabroad;butthattheywouldgiveheranythingheshouldleaveforherthemomentshereturned.)Buthecarednottotrustthemwithhisbusiness,andwentawaytoWilson's,(asIfindbythedescriptionofhimatbothplaces,)andtherelefttheletter;butnottillhehadasecondtimecalledhere,andfoundhernotcomein.

Theletter[whichIshallenclose;foritistoolongtotranscribe]will

accounttotheeforCollins'scominghither.

OthisdevilishMissHowe;--somethingmustberesolveduponanddonewiththatlittlefury!

***

Thouwiltseethemarginofthiscursedlettercrowdedwithindices[>>>].Iputthemtomarktheplaceswhichcallforvengeanceuponthevixenwriter,orwhichrequireanimadversion.Returnthouittomethemomentthouhastperusedit.

Readithere;andavoidtremblingforme,ifthoucanst.

TOMISSLAETITIABEAUMONTWEDNESDAY,JUNE7.

MYDEARESTFRIEND,

YouwillperhapsthinkthatIhavebeentoo



longsilent.ButIhadbeguntwolettersatdiffer-enttimessincemylast,andwrittenagreatdeal>>>eachtime;andwithspiritenough,Iassureyou;incensedasIwasagainsttheabominablewretchyouarewith;particularlyonreadingyour'softhe21stofthepastmonth.*

*SeeVol.IV.LetterXLVI.

>>>ThefirstIintendedtokeepopentillIcouldgiveyousomeaccountofmyproceedingswithMrs.Townsend.ItwassomedaysbeforeIsawher:andthisintervenientspacegivingmetimetore-perusewhatIhadwritten,Ithoughtitpropertolay>>>thataside,andtowriteinastylealittlelessfervent;>>>foryouwouldhaveblamedme,Iknow,forthefree-domofsomeofmyexpressions.[Execrations,ifyouplease.]AndwhenIhadgoneagoodwayinthesecond,thechangeinyourprospects,onhiscommunicatingtoyouMissMontague'sletter,andhisbetterbehaviour,occasioningachangeinyourmind,Ilaidthatasidealso.Andinthisuncer-

tainty,thoughtIwouldwaittoseetheissueofaffairsbetweenyoubeforeIwroteagain;believingthatallwouldsoonbedecidedonewayorother.

Ihadstill,perhaps,heldthisresolution,[aseveryappearance,accordingtoyourletters,wasmoreandmorepromising,]hadnotthetwopasseddaysfur-nishedmewithintelligencewhichithighlyimportsyoutoknow.

ButImuststophere,andtakealittlewalk,totrytokeepdownthatjustindignationwhichrisestomypen,whenIamabouttorelatetoyouwhat

Imustcommunicate.

***

Iamnotmyownmistressenough--thenmymother--alwaysupanddown--andwatchingasifIwerewritingtoafellow.ButIwilltryifIcancontainmyselfintolerablebounds.

Thewomenofthehousewhereyouare--Omydear,thewomenofthehouse--butyouneverthoughthighlyofthem--soitcannotbeverysur-

>>>prising--norwouldyouhavestaidsolongwiththem,hadnotthenotionofremovingtooneofyourown,madeyoulessuneasy,andlesscuriousabouttheircharacters,andbehaviour.YetIcouldnowwish,thatyouhadbeenlessreservedamongthem>>>--ButIteaseyou--Inshort,mydear,youarecertainlyinadevilishhouse!--Beassuredthatthewomanisoneofthevilestwomen--nordoesshegotoyoubyherrightname--[Verytrue!]--HernameisnotSinclair,noristhestreetshelives



inDover-street.Didyounevergooutbyyour-self,anddischargethecoachorchair,andreturn>>>byanothercoachorchair?Ifyoudid,[yetIdon'trememberthatyoueverwrotetome,thatyoudid,]youwouldneverhavefoundyourwaytothevilehouse,eitherbythewoman'sname,Sin-clair,orbythestreet'sname,mentionedbythatDolemaninhisletteraboutthelodgings.*

*Vol.III.LettersXXXVIII.andXXXIX.

Thewretchmightindeedhaveheldoutthesefalselightsalittlemoreexcusably,hadthehousebeenanhonesthouse;andhadhisendonlybeentopreventmischieffromyourbrother.Butthiscontrivancewasantecedent,asIthink,toyourbrother'sproject;sothatnoexcusecanbemade>>>forhisintentionsatthetime--theman,whateverhemaynowintend,wascertainlythen,eventhen,avillaininhisheart.

***

>>>IamexcessivelyconcernedthatIshouldbepre-vailedupon,betweenyourover-niceness,ononehand,andmymother'spositiveness,ontheother,tobesatisfiedwithoutknowinghowtodirecttoyouatyourlodgings.Ithinktoo,thattheproposalthatIshouldbeputofftoathird-handknowledge,orratherveiledinafirst-handignorance,camefromhim,andthatitwasonlyacquiescedinbyyou,asitwasbyme,*uponneedlessandweakconsidera-tions;because,truly,Imighthaveittosay,if

challenged,thatIknewnotwheretosendtoyou!Iamashamedofmyself!--Hadthisbeenatfirstexcusable,itcouldnotbeagoodreasonforgoingoninthefolly,whenyouhadnolikingtothe>>>house,andwhenhebegantoplaytricks,anddelaywithyou.--What!Iwastomistrustmyself,wasI?Iwastoallowittobethought,thatIcould>>>notkeepmyownsecret?--Butthehousetobe>>>takenatthistime,andatthattime,ledusbothon>>>--likefools,liketamefools,inastring.Uponmylife,mydear,thismanisavile,acontemptiblevillain--Imustspeakout!--Howhashelaughedinhissleeveatusboth,Iwarrant,forIcan'ttell

howlong!

*SeeVol.III.LetterLVI.par.12.andLetterLVIII.par.12.--Wherethereaderwillobserve,thattheproposalcamefromherself;which,asitwasalsomentionedbyMr.Lovelace,(towardstheendofLetterI.inVol.IV.)shemaybepresumedtohaveforgotten.SothatClarissahadadoubleinducementforacquiescingwiththeproposedmethodofcarryingonthecorrespondencebetweenMissHoweandherselfbyWilson'sconveyance,andbythenameofLaetitiaBeaumont.



Andyetwhocouldhavethoughtthatamanof>>>fortune,andsomereputation,[thisDoleman,Imean--notyourwretch,tobesure!]formerlyarake,indeed,[Iinquiredafterhimlongago;andsowastheeasiersatisfied;]butmarriedtoawomanoffamily--havinghadapalsy-blow--and,>>>onewouldthink,apenitent,shouldrecommendsuchahouse[why,mydear,hecouldnotinquireofit,butmustfindittobebad]tosuchamanasLovelace,tobringhisfuture,nay,histhensupposed,brideto?

***

>>>Iwrite,perhaps,withtoomuchviolence,tobeclear,butIcannothelpit.YetIlaydownmypen,andtakeitupeverytenminutes,inordertowritewithsometemper--mymothertoo,inandout--WhatneedI,(sheasksme,)lockmyselfin,ifIamonlyreadingpastcorrespondencies?For

>>>thatismypretence,whenshecomespokinginwithherfacesharpenedtoanedge,asImaysay,byacuriositythatgiveshermorepainthanpleasure.-->>>TheLordforgiveme;butIbelieveIshallhuffhernexttimeshecomesin.

***

Doyouforgivemetoo,mydear--mymotherought;becauseshesays,Iammyfather'sgirl;andbecauseIamsureIamher's.Idon'tkowwhat

todo--Idon'tknowwhattowritenext--Ihavesomuchtowrite,yethavesolittlepatience,andsolittleopportunity.

ButIwilltellyouhowIcamebymyintelli->>>gence.Thatbeingafact,andrequiringthelessattention,Iwilltrytoaccounttoyouforthat.

Thus,then,itcameabout:'MissLardner(whomyouhaveseenathercousinBiddulph's)sawyouatSt.James'sChurchonSundaywasfort-night.Shekeptyouinhereyeduringthewholetime;butcouldnotonceobtainthenoticeofyour's,

thoughshecourtesiedtoyoutwice.Shethoughttopayhercomplimentstoyouwhentheservicewasover,forshedoubtednotbutyouweremarried-->>>andforanoddreason--becauseyoucametochurchbyyourself.Everyeye,(asusual,whereveryouare,shesaid,)wasuponyou;andthisseemingtogiveyouhurry,andyoubeingnearerthedoorthanshe,youslidout,beforeshecouldgettoyou.--Butsheorderedherservanttofollowyoutillyouwerehoused.Thisservantsawyoustepintoachair,



whichwaitedforyou;andyouorderedthementocarryyoutotheplacewheretheytookyouup.

'Thenextday,MissLardnersentthesameservant,outofmerecuriosity,tomakeprivatein-quirywhetherMr.Lovelacewere,orwerenot,withyouthere.--Andthisinquirybroughtout,>>>fromdifferentpeople,thatthehousewassuspectedtobeoneofthosegenteelwickedhouses,whichreceiveandaccommodatefashionablepeopleofbothsexes.

'MissLardner,confoundedatthisstrangeintel-ligence,madefurtherinquiry;enjoiningsecrecytotheservantshehadsent,aswellastothegentle->>>manwhomsheemployed;whohaditconfirmedfromarakishfriend,whoknewthehouse;andtoldhim,thatthereweretwohouses:theoneinwhichalldecentappearanceswerepreserved,andguestsrarelyadmitted;theother,thereceptacleofthosewhowereabsolutelyengaged,andbrokentothevileyoke.'

>>>Say--mydearcreature--say--ShallInotexe-

cratethewretch?--Butwordsareweak--WhatcanIsay,thatwillsuitablyexpressmyabhorrenceofsuchavillainashemusthavebeen,whenhemeditatedtocarryaClarissatosuchaplace!

'MissLardnerkeptthistoherselfsomedays,notknowingwhattodo;forshelovesyou,andadmiresyouofallwomen.Atlastsherevealedit,butinconfidence,toMissBiddulph,byletter.MissBiddulph,inlikeconfidence,beingafraiditwoulddistractme,wereItoknowit,communi-catedittoMissLloyd;andso,likeawhisperedscandal,itpassedthroughseveralcanals,andthen

itcametome;whichwasnottilllastMonday.'

IthoughtIshouldhavefainteduponthesurpris-ingcommunication.Butragetakingplace,itblewawaythesuddenillness.IbesoughtMissLloydtore-enjoinsecrecytoeveryone.Itoldherthat>>>Iwouldnotfortheworldthatmymother,oranyofyourfamily,shouldknowit.AndIinstantlycausedatrustyfriendtomakewhatinquirieshecouldaboutTomlinson.

>>>IhadthoughtstohavedoneitbeforeIhadthisintelligence:butnotimaginingittobeneedful,and

littlethinkingthatyoucouldbeinsuchahouse,andasyouwerepleasedwithyourchangedprospects,I>>>forbore.Andtheratherforbore,asthematterissolaid,thatMrs.Hodgesissupposedtoknownothingoftheprojectedtreatyofaccommodation;but,onthecontrary,thatitwasdesignedtobeasecrettoher,andtoeverybodybutimmediateparties;anditwasMrs.HodgesthatIhadpro-posedtosoundbyasecondhand.



>>>Now,mydear,itiscertain,withoutapplyingtothattoo-much-favouredhousekeeper,thatthereisnotsuchamanwithintenmilesofyouruncle.--Verytrue!--OneTomkinsthereis,aboutfourmilesoff;butheisaday-labourer:andoneThompson,aboutfivemilesdistanttheotherway;butheisaparishschoolmaster,poor,andaboutseventy.

>>>Aman,thoughtbutofÂ£.800ayear,cannotcomefromonecountrytosettleinanother,buteverybodyinbothmustknowit,andtalkofit.

>>>Mrs.Hodgesmayyetbesoundedatadistance,ifyouwill.Youruncleisanoldman.Oldmenimaginethemselvesunderobligationtotheirpara->>>mours,ifyoungerthanthemselves,andseldomkeepanythingfromtheirknowledge.Butifwesupposehimtomakesecretofthisdesignedtreaty,itisimpossible,beforethattreatywasthoughtof,butshemusthaveseenhim,atleasthaveheardyourunclespeakpraisefullyofamanheissaidtobesointimatewith,lethimhavebeeneversolittleawhileinthoseparts.

>>>Yet,methinks,thestoryissoplausible--Tom-linson,asyoudescribehim,issogoodaman,andsomuchofagentleman;theendtobeanswered>>>byhisbeinganimpostor,somuchmorethanneces-saryifLovelacehasvillanyinhishead;andas>>>youareinsuchahouse--yourwretch'sbehaviourtohimwassopetulantandlordly;andTomlin-son'sanswersofullofspiritandcircumstance;>>>andthenwhathecommunicatedtoyouofMr.Hickman'sapplicationtoyouruncle,andofMrs.Norton'stoyourmother,[someofwhichparticu->>>lars,Iamsatisfied,hisvileagent,JosephLeman,couldnotrevealtohisvileemployer;]hispress-

ingonthemarriage-day,inthenameofyouruncle,whichitcouldnotansweranywickedpur->>>poseforhimtodo;andwhathewritesofyouruncle'sproposal,tohaveitthoughtthatyouweremarriedfromthetimethatyouhavelivedinonehousetogether;andthattobemadetoagreewiththetimeofMr.Hickman'svisittoyouruncle.>>>Theinsistingonatrustyperson'sbeingpresentattheceremony,atthatuncle'snomination--Thesethingsmakemewillingtotryforatolerableconstruc-tiontobemadeofall.ThoughIamsomuchpuzzledbywhatoccursonbothsidesoftheques->>>tion,thatIcannotbutabhorthedevilishwretch,

whoseinventionsandcontrivancesareforeverem-ployinganinquisitivehead,asmineis,withoutaffordingthemeansofabsolutedetection.

ButthisiswhatIamreadytoconjecture,thatTomlinson,speciousasheis,isamachineofLove->>>lace;andthatheisemployedforsomeend,whichhasnotyetbeenanswered.Thisiscertain,thatnotonlyTomlinson,butMennell,who,Ithink,attendedyoumorethanonceatthisvilehouse,



mustknowittobeavilehouse.

WhatcanyouthenthinkofTomlinson'sdeclar-inghimselfinfavourofituponinquiry?

Lovelacetoomustknowittobeso;ifnotbeforehebroughtyoutoit,soonafter.

>>>Perhapsthecompanyhefoundthere,maybethemostprobablewayofaccountingforhisbearingwiththehouse,andforhisstrangesuspensionsofmarriage,whenitwasinhispowertocallsuchanangelofawomanhis.--

>>>Omydear,themanisavillain!--thegreatestofvillains,ineverylight!--Iamconvincedthatheis.--AndthisDolemanmustbeanotherofhisimplements!

>>>Therearesomanywretcheswhothinkthattobenosin,whichisoneofthegreatestandmostungratefulofallsins,--toruinyoungcreaturesofoursexwhoplacetheirconfidenceinthem;thatthewonderislessthantheshame,thatpeople,of

appearanceatleast,arefoundtopromotethehorridpurposesofprofligatesoffortuneandinterest!

>>>ButcanIthink[youwillaskwithindignantastonishment]thatLovelacecanhavedesignsuponyourhonour?

>>>Thatsuchdesignshehashad,ifhestillholdthemornot,Icanhavenodoubt,nowthatIknowthehousehehasbroughtyouto,tobeavileone.Thisisacluethathasledmetoaccountforallhisbehaviourtoyoueversinceyouhavebeeninhishands.

Allowmeabriefretrospectionofitall.

Webothknow,thatpride,revenge,andadelighttotreadinunbeatenpaths,areprincipalingredientsinthecharacterofthisfinishedlibertine.

>>>Hehatesallyourfamily--yourselfexcepted:andIhaveseveraltimesthought,thatIhaveseen>>>himstungandmortifiedthatlovehasobligedhimtokneelatyourfootstool,becauseyouareaHar-lowe.Yetisthiswretchasavageinlove.--Love>>>thathumanizesthefiercestspirits,hasnotbeenable

tosubduehis.Hispride,andthecreditwhicha>>>fewplausiblequalities,sprinkledamonghisodiousones,havegivenhim,havesecuredhimtoogoodareceptionfromoureye-judging,ourundistinguish-ing,ourself-flattering,ourtoo-confidingsex,tomakeassiduityandobsequiousness,andaconquestofhisunrulypassions,anypartofhisstudy.

>>>Hehassomereasonforhisanimositytoallthemen,andtoonewomanofyourfamily.Hehas



alwaysshownyou,andhisownfamilytoo,thathe>>>prefershispridetohisinterest.Heisadeclaredmarriage-hater;anotoriousintriguer;fullofhisinventions,andgloryinginthem:henevercoulddrawyouintodeclarationsoflove;nortillyour>>>wiserelationspersecutedyouastheydid,toreceivehisaddressesasalover.Heknewthatyoupro-fessedlydislikedhimforhisimmoralities;hecouldnot,therefore,justlyblameyouforthecoldnessandindifferenceofyourbehaviourtohim.

>>>Thepreventionofmischiefwasyourfirstmainviewinthecorrespondencehedrewyouinto.Heoughtnot,then,tohavewonderedthatyoudeclaredyourpreferenceofthesinglelifetoanymatrimonialengagement.Heknewthatthiswasalwaysyou>>>preference;andthatbeforehetrickedyouawaysoartfully.Whatwashisconducttoyouafterwards,thatyoushouldofasuddenchangeit?

Thuswasyourwholebehaviourregular,con-sistent,anddutifultothosetowhombybirthyouowedduty;andneitherprudish,coquettish,nor

tyrannicaltohim.>>>Hehadagreedtogoonwithyouuponthoseyourownterms,andtorelyonlyonhisownmeritsandfuturereformationforyourfavour.

>>>Itwasplaintome,indeed,towhomyoucom-municatedallthatyouknewofyourownheart,thoughnotallofitthatIfoundout,thatlovehadprettyearlygainedfootinginit.Andthisyouyourselfwouldhavediscoveredsoonerthanyou>>>did,hadnothisalarming,hisunpolite,hisroughconduct,keptitunder.

>>>Iknewbyexperiencethatloveisafirethatisnottobeplayedwithwithoutburningone'sfingers:Iknewittobeadangerousthingfortwosinglepersonsofdifferentsexestoenterintofamiliarityandcorrespondencewitheachother:Since,astothelatter,mustnotapersonbecapableofpremedi-tatedart,whocansitdowntowrite,andnotwritefromtheheart?--Andawomantowriteherhearttoamanpractisedindeceit,oreventoamanofsomecharacter,whatadvantagedoesitgivehimoverher?

>>>Asthisman'svanityhadmadehimimagine,thatnowomancouldbeproofagainstlove,whenhisaddresswashonourable;nowonderthathestruggled,likealionheldintoils,againstapassionthathethoughtnotreturned.Andhowcouldyou,atfirst,showareturninlove,tosofierceaspirit,andwhohadseducedyouawaybyvileartifices,buttotheapprovalofthoseartifices.

>>>Hence,perhaps,itisnotdifficulttobelieve,that



itbecamepossibleforsuchawretchasthistogivewaytohisoldprejudicesagainstmarriage;andtothatrevengewhichhadalwaysbeenafirstpassionwithhim.

Thisistheonlyway,Ithink,toaccountforhishorridviewsinbringingyoutoavilehouse.

Andnowmaynotalltherestbenaturallyaccountedfor?--Hisdelays--histeasingways--hisbringingyoutobearwithhislodginginthesamehouse--hismakingyoupasstothepeopleof>>>itashiswife,thoughrestrictivelyso,yetwithhope,nodoubt,(vilestofvillainsasheis!)totakeyou>>>atanadvantage--hisbringingyouintothecom-panyofhislibertinecompanions--theattemptofimposinguponyouthatMissPartingtonforabedfellow,veryprobablyhisowninventionfortheworstofpurposes--histerrifyingyouatmanydifferenttimes--hisobtrudinghimselfuponyouwhenyouwentouttochurch;nodoubttopreventyourfindingoutwhatthepeopleofthehousewere--theadvantageshemadeofyourbrother'sfoolishprojectwithSingleton.

See,mydear,hownaturallyallthisfollowsfrom>>>thediscoverymadebyMissLardner.Seehowthemonster,whomIthought,andsooftencalled,>>>afool,comesouttohavebeenallthetimeoneofthegreatestvillainsintheworld!

Butifthisisso,what,[itwouldbeaskedbyanindifferentperson,]hashithertosavedyou?Gloriouscreature!--What,morallyspeaking,butyourwatchfulness!Whatbutthat,andthemajestyofyourvirtue;thenativedignity,which,inasituationsoverydifficult,(friendless,destitute,

passingforawife,castintothecompanyofcrea-turesaccustomedtobetrayandruininnocenthearts,)hashithertoenabledyoutobaffle,over-awe,andconfound,suchadangerouslibertineasthis;sohabituallyremorseless,asyouhaveobservedhimtobe;soveryvariousinhistemper,soinventive,soseconded,sosupported,soinstigated,toopro-bably,ashehasbeen!--Thatnativedignity,thatheroism,Iwillcallit,whichhas,onallproperoccasions,exerteditselfinitsfulllustre,unmingled>>>withthatcharmingobligingnessandcondescendingsweetness,whichisevermorethesoftenerofthatdignity,whenyourmindisfreeandunapprehen-

sive!

>>>Letmestoptoadmire,andtoblessmybelovedfriend,who,unhappilyforherself,atanagesotender,unacquaintedasshewaswiththeworld,andwiththevileartsoflibertines,havingbeencalledupontosustainthehardestandmostshockingtrials,frompersecutingrelationsononehand,andfromavillanousloverontheother,hasbeenenabledtogivesuchanillustriousexampleoffortitudeand



prudenceasneverwomangavebeforeher;andwho,asIhaveheretoforeobserved,*hasmadeafargreaterfigureinadversity,thanshepossiblycouldhavemade,hadallhershiningqualitiesbeenexertedintheirfullforceandpower,bythecon->>>tinuanceofthatprosperousrunoffortunewhichattendedherforeighteenyearsoflifeoutofnineteen.

*SeeVol.IV.LettersXXIV.

***

>>>Butnow,mydear,doIapprehend,thatyouareingreaterdangerthaneveryetyouhavebeenin;ifyouarenotmarriedinaweek;andyetstayinthisabominablehouse.Forwereyououtofit,IownIshouldnotbemuchafraidforyou.

Thesearemythoughts,onthemostdeliberate>>>consideration:'Thatheisnowconvinced,that

hehasnotbeenabletodrawyouoffyourguard:thattherefore,ifhecanobtainnonewadvantageoveryouashegoesalong,heisresolvedtodoyouallthepoorjusticethatitisinthepowerofsuchawretchashetodoyou.Heistheratherinducedtothis,asheseesthatallhisownfamilyhavewarmlyengagedthemselvesinyourcause:andthatitis>>>hishighestinteresttobejusttoyou.Thenthehorridwretchlovesyou(aswellhemay)aboveallwomen.Ihavenodoubtofthis:withsuchalove>>>assuchawretchiscapableof:withsuchaloveasHerodlovedhisMarianne.Heisnowtherefore,veryprobably,atlast,inearnest.'

Itooktimeforinquiriesofdifferentnatures,asIknew,bythetrainyouarein,thatwhateverhisdesignsare,theycannotripeneitherforgoodor>>>eviltillsomethingshallresultfromthisdeviceofhisaboutTomlinsonandyouruncle.

DeviceIhavenodoubtthatitis,whateverthisdark,thisimpenetrablespiritintendsbyit.

>>>AndyetIfindittobetrue,thatCounsellorWilliams(whomMr.Hickmanknowstobeamanofeminenceinhisprofession)hasactuallyasgood

>>>asfinishedthesettlements:thattwodraughtsofthemhavebeenmade;oneavowedlytobesenttooneCaptainTomlinson,astheclerksays:--andIfindthatalicensehasactuallybeenmorethanonceendeavouredtobeobtained;andthatdifficultieshavehithertobeenmade,equallytoLovelace's>>>vexationanddisappointment.Mymother'sproctor,whoisveryintimatewiththeproctorappliedtobythewretch,hascomeatthisinformationinconfidence;andhints,that,asMr.Lovelaceisa



manofhighfortunes,thesedifficultieswillprobablybegotover.

Butherefollowthecausesofmyapprehensionofyourdanger;whichIshouldnothavehadathought>>>of(sincenothingveryvilehasyetbeenattempted)butonfindingwhatahouseyouarein,and,onthatdiscovery,layingtogetherandruminatingonpastoccurrences.

'Youareobliged,fromthepresentfavourable>>>appearances,togivehimyourcompanywheneverherequestsit.--Youareunderanecessityoffor-getting,orseemingtoforget,pastdisobligations;andtoreceivehisaddressesasthoseofabetrothedlover.--Youwillincurthecensureofpruderyandaffectation,evenperhapsinyourownapprehension,ifyoukeephimatthatdistancewhichhashitherto>>>beenyoursecurity.--Hissudden(andassuddenlyrecovered)illnesshasgivenhimanopportunitytofindoutthatyoulovehim.[Alas!mydear,Iknewyoulovedhim!]Heis,asyourelate,every>>>hourmoreandmoreanencroacheruponit.Hehasseemedtochangehisnature,andisallloveand

>>>gentleness.Thewolfhasputonthesheep'scloth-ing;yetmorethanoncehasshownhisteeth,andhishardly-sheathedclaws.Theinstanceyouhavegivenofhisfreedomwithyourperson,*whichyoucouldnotbutresent;andyet,asmattersarecricumstancedbetweenyou,couldnotbutpassover,whenTomlinson'slettercalledyouintohis>>>company,**showtheadvantagehehasnowoveryou;andalso,thatifhecanobtaingreater,hewill.--Andforthisveryreason(asIapprehend)it>>>is,thatTomlinsonisintroduced;thatistosay,togiveyouthegreatersecurity,andtobeamediator,ifmortaloffencebegivenyoubyanyvillanous

attempt.--Thedayseemsnotnowtobesomuchinyourpowerasitoughttobe,sincethatnowpartlydependsonyouruncle,whosepresence,atyourownmotion,hehaswishedontheoccasion.Awish,wereallreal,veryunlikely,Ithink,tobegranted.'

*ShemeansthefreedomMr.Lovelacetookwithherbeforethefire-plot.SeeVol.V.LetterXI.WhenMissHowewrotethislettershecouldnotknowofthat.**SeeVol.V.LetterXII.

>>>Andthussituated,shouldheoffergreaterfree-doms,mustyounotforgivehim?

Ifearnothing(asIknowwhohassaid)thatdevilcarnateorincarnatecanfairlydoagainsta>>>virtuesoestablished.*--Butsurprizes,mydear,insuchahouseasyouarein,andinsuchcircum-stancesasIhavementioned,Igreatlyfear!the>>>manonewhohasalreadytriumphedoverpersons



worthyofhisalliance.

>>>Whatthenhaveyoutodo,buttoflythishouse,thisinfernalhouse!--Othatyourheartwouldletyouflytheman!

>>>Ifyoushouldbedisposedsotodo,Mrs.Towns-endshallbereadyatyourcommand.--Butifyoumeetwithnoimpediments,nonewcausesofdoubt,Ithinkyourreputationintheeyeoftheworld,>>>thoughnotyourhappiness,isconcerned,thatyoushouldbehis--andyetIcannotbearthattheselibertinesshouldberewardedfortheirvillanywiththebestofthesex,whentheworstofitaretoogoodforthem.

Butifyoumeetwiththeleastgroundforsuspicion;ifhewoulddetainyouattheodioushouse,orwishyoutostay,nowyouknowwhat>>>thepeopleare;flyhim,whateveryourprospectsare,aswellasthem.

Inoneofyournextairings,ifyouhavenoother>>>way,refusetoreturnwithhim.Namemeforyour

intelligencer,thatyouareinabadhouse,andifyouthinkyoucannotnowbreakwithhim,seemrather>>>tobelievethathemaynotknowittobeso;andthatIdonotbelievehedoes:andyetthisbeliefinusbothmustappeartobeverygross.

Butsupposeyoudesiretogooutoftownfortheair,thissultryweather,andinsistuponit?Youmaypleadyourhealthforsodoing.Hedarenot>>>resistsuchaplea.Yourbrother'sfoolishscheme,Iamtold,iscertainlygivenup;soyouneednotbeafraidonthataccount.

Ifyoudonotflythehouseuponreadingofthis,orsomewayorothergetoutofit,Ishalljudgeofhispoweroveryou,bythelittleyouwillhaveovereitherhimoryourself.

>>>OneofmyinformershasmadesuchslightinquiriesconcerningMrs.Fretchville.Didheevernametoyouthestreetorsquareshelivedin?--Idon't>>>rememberthatyou,inanyofyour's,mentionedtheplaceofherabodetome.Strange,verystrange,this,Ithink!Nosuchpersonorhousecanbefound,nearanyofthenewstreetsorsquares,wherethelightsIhadfromyourlettersledmetoimagine

>>>herhousemightbe.--Askhimwhatstreetthehouseisin,ifhehasnottoldyou;andletme>>>know.Ifhemakeadifficultyofthatcircumstance,itwillamounttoadetection.--Andyet,Ithink,youwillhaveenoughwithoutthis.

IshallsendthislongletterbyCollins,whochangeshisdaytoobligeme;andthathemaytry(nowIknowwhereyouare)togetitintoyourownhands.Ifhecannot,hewillleaveitat



Wilson's.Asnoneofourlettersbythatconvey-ancehavemiscarriedwhenyouhavebeeninmoreapparentlydisagreeablesituationsthanyouareinatpresent.Ihopethatthiswillgosafe,ifCollinsshouldbeobligedtoleaveitthere.

>>>Iwroteashortlettertoyouinmyfirstagitations.Itcontainednotabovetwentylines,allfulloffright,alarm,andexecration.Butbeingafraidthatmyvehemencewouldtoomuchaffectyou,Ithoughtitbettertowaitalittle,aswellforthereasonsalreadyhintedat,astobeabletogiveyouasmanypar-ticularsasIcould,andmythoughtsuponall.Andastheyhaveoffered,ormayoffer,youwillbesufficientlyarmedtoresistallhismachinations,bewhattheywill.

>>>Onewordmore.Commandmeup,ifIcanbeoftheleastserviceorpleasuretoyou.Ivaluenotfame;Ivaluenotcensure;norevenlifeitself,Iverilythink,asIdoyourhonour,andyourfriend-ship--For,isnotyourhonourmyhonour?Andisnotyourfriendshiptheprideofmylife?

MayHeavenpreserveyou,mydearestcreature,inhonourandsafety,istheprayer,thehourlyprayer,of

Yourever-faithfulandaffectionateANNAHOWE.

THURSDAYMORN.5.Ihavewrittenallnight

***

TOMISSHOWE

MYDEARESTCREATURE,

Howyouhaveshocked,confounded,surprised,astonishedme,byyourdreadfulcommunication!--Myheartistooweaktobearupagainstsuchastrokeasthis!--Whenallhopewaswithme!Whenmyprospectsweresomuchmended!--Butcantherebesuchvillanyinmen,asinthisvileprincipal,andequallyvileagent!

Iamreallyill--veryill--griefandsurprise,and,nowIwillsay,despair,haveovercomeme!--All,all,youhavelaiddownasconjecture,

appearstomenowtobemorethanconjecture!

Othatyourmotherwouldhavethegoodnesstopermitmethepresenceoftheonlycomforterthatmyafflicted,myhalf-brokenheart,couldberaisedby.ButIchargeyou,thinknotofcomingupwithoutherindulgentpermission.Iamtooillatpresent,mydear,tothinkofcombatingwiththisdreadfulman;andofflyingfromthishorridhouse!--Mybadwritingwillshowyouthis.--Butmyillnesswillbemypresentsecurity,shouldheindeedhavemeditatedvillany.--Forgive,Oforgiveme,mydearestfriend,thetroubleIhavegivenyou!--Allmustsoon--But



whyaddIgrieftogrief,andtroubletotrouble?--ButIchargeyou,mybelovedcreature,nottothinkofcomingupwithoutyourmother'slove,tothetrulydesolateandbroken-spirited

CLARISSAHARLOWE.

***

Well,Jack!--Andwhatthinkestthouofthislastletter?MissHowevaluesnoteitherfameorcensure;andthinkestthou,thatthisletterwillnotbringthelittlefuryup,thoughshecouldprocurenootherconveyancethanherhiggler'spanniers,oneforherself,theotherforhermaid?Sheknowswhithertocomenow.ManyalittlevillainhaveIpunishedforknowingmorethanIwouldhaveherknow,andthatbyaddingtoherknowledgeandexperience.Whatthinkestthou,Belford,if,bygettinghitherthisvirago,andgivingcauseforalamentableletterfromhertothefairfugitive,Ishouldbeabletorecoverher?Wouldshenotvisitthatfriendinherdistress,thinkestthou,whoseintendedvisittoherinher'sbroughtherintotheconditionfromwhichsheherselfhadsoperfidiouslyescaped?

Letmeenjoythethought!

ShallIsendthisletter?--ThouseestIhaveleftroom,ifIfailintheexactimitationofsocharmingahand,toavoidtoostrictascrutiny.Dotheynotbothdeserveitofme?Seestthounowhowtheravinggirlsthreatenshermother?Oughtshenottobepunished?AndcanIbeaworsedevil,orvillain,ormonster,thatshecallsmeinthelongletterIenclose(andhascalledmeinherformerletters)wereItopunishthembothasmyvengeanceurgesmetopunishthem?AndwhenIhaveexecutedthatmyvengeance,howcharminglysatisfiedmaytheybothgodownintothecountryandkeephousetogether,andhaveamuchbetterreasonthantheirpridecouldgivethem,forlivingthesinglelifetheyhavebothseemedsofondof!

Iwillsetabouttranscribingitthismoment,Ithink.Icanresolveafterwards.YetwhathaspoorHickmandonetodeservethisofme!--Butgloriouslywoulditpunishthemother(aswellasdaughter)forallhersordidavarice;andforherundutifulnesstohonestMr.Howe,whoseheartsheactuallybroke.Iamontiptoe,Jack,toenteruponthisproject.Isnotonecountryasgoodtomeasanother,ifIshouldbeobligedtotakeanothertouruponit?

***

ButIwillnotventure.Hickmanisagoodman,theytellme.Ilovea

goodman.Ihopeoneofthesedaystobeagoodmanmyself.Besides,Ihaveheardwithinthisweeksomethingofthishonestfellowthatshowshehasasoul;whenIthought,ifhehadone,thatitlayalittleofthedeepesttoemergetonotice,exceptonveryextraordinaryoccasions;andthatthenitpresentlysunkagainintoitscellulaadiposa.--Themanisaplumpman.--Didsteverseehim,Jack?

Buttheprincipalreasonthatwithholdsme[for'tisatemptingproject!]is,forfearofbeingutterlyblownup,ifIshouldnotbequickenoughwithmyletter,orifMissHoweshoulddeliberateonsettingout,totry



hermother'sconsentfirst;inwhichtimealetterfrommyfrightedbeautymightreachher;forIhavenodoubt,wherevershehasrefuged,butherfirstworkwastowritetohervixenfriend.Iwillthereforegoonpatiently;andtakemyrevengeuponthelittlefuryatmyleisure.

ButinspiteofmycompassionforHickman,whosebettercharacterissometimesmyenvy,andwhoisoneofthosemortalsthatbringclumsinessintocreditwiththemothers,tothedisgraceofuscleverfellows,andoftentoourdisappointment,withthedaughters;andwhohasbeenverybusyinassistingthesedouble-armedbeautiesagainstme;Iswearbyallthediimajores,aswellasminores,thatIwillhaveMissHowe,ifIcannothavehermoreexaltedfriend!Andthen,iftherebeasmuchflaminglovebetweenthesegirlsastheypretend,willmycharmerprofitbyherescape?

Andnow,thatIshallpermitMissHowetoreignalittlelonger,letmeaskthee,ifthouhastnot,intheenclosedletter,afreshinstance,thatagreatmanyofmydifficultieswithhersister-toastareowingtothisflightygirl?--'Tistruethatherewasnaturallyaconfoundedsharpwinterair;andifalittlecoldwaterwasthrownintothepath,nowonderthatitwasinstantlyfrozen;andthatthepoorhonesttravellerfounditnexttoimpossibletokeephisway;onefootslidingbackasfastastheotheradvanced,totheendangeringofhislimbsorneck.ButyetIthinkitimpossiblethatsheshouldhavebaffledmeasshehasdone

(noviceassheis,andneverbeforefromunderherparents'wings)hadshenotbeenarmedbyavirago,whowasformerlyverynearshowingthatshecouldbetteradvisethanpractise.Butthis,Ibelieve,Ihavesaidmorethanoncebefore.

Iamlothtoreproachmyself,nowthecruelcreaturehasescapedme;Forwhatwouldthatdo,butaddtomytorment?sinceevilsself-caused,andavoidable,admitnotofpalliationorcomfort.Andyet,ifthoutellestme,thatallherstrengthwasowingtomyweakness,andthatIhavebeenacursedcowardinthiswholeaffair;why,then,Jack,Imayblush,andbevexed;but,bymysoul,Icannotcontradictthee.

Butthis,Belford,Ihope--thatifIcanturnthepoisonoftheenclosed

letterintowholesomeailment;thatistosay,ifIcanmakeuseofittomyadvantage;Ishallhavethyfreeconsenttodoit.

Iamalwayscarefultoopencoverscautiously,andtopreservesealsentire.Iwilldrawoutfromthiscursedletteranalphabet.NorwasNickRoweeverhalfsodiligenttolearnSpanish,attheQuixoterecommendationofacertainpeer,asIwillbetogainthemasteryofthisvixen'shand.

LETTERXXI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYEVENING,JUNE8.

Aftermylast,sofullofotherhopes,thecontentsofthiswillsurpriseyou.Omydearestfriend,themanhasatlastprovedhimselftobeavillain!

Itwaswiththeutmostdifficultylastnight,thatIpreservedmyselffromthevilestdishonour.Heextortedfrommeapromiseofforgiveness,



andthatIwouldseehimnextday,asifnothinghadhappened:butifitwerepossibletoescapefromawretch,who,asIhavetoomuchreasontobelieve,formedaplottofirethehouse,tofrightenme,almostnaked,intohisarms,howcouldIseehimnextday?

Ihaveescaped--HeavenbepraisedthatIhave!--Andnowhavenootherconcern,thanthatIflyfromtheonlyhopethatcouldhavemadesuchahusbandtolerabletome;thereconciliationwithmyfriends,soagreeablyundertakenbymyuncle.

Allmypresenthopeis,tofindsomereputablefamily,orpersonofmyownsex,whoisobligedtogobeyondsea,orwholivesabroad;Icarenotwhether;butifImightchoose,insomeoneofourAmericancolonies--nevertobeheardofmorebymyrelations,whomIhavesogrievouslyoffended.

NorletyourgenerousheartbemovedatwhatIwrite.IfIcanescapethedreadfullestpartofmyfather'smalediction,(forthetemporarypartisalready,inamanner,fulfilled,whichmakesmetrembleinapprehensionoftheother,)Ishallthinkthewreckofmyworldlyfortunesahappycomposition.

Neitheristhereneedoftherenewalofyourso-often-tenderedgoodnesstome:forIhavewithmeringsandothervaluables,thatweresentme

withmyclothes,whichwillturnintomoneytoanswerallIcanwant,tillProvidenceshallbepleasedtoputmeintosomewanttohelpmyself,if,formyfurtherpunishment,mylifeistobelengthenedbeyondmywishes.

Imputenotthisscheme,mybelovedfriend,eithertodejectionononehand,ortothatromanticturnontheother,whichwehavesupposedgenerallytoobtainwithoursex,fromfifteentotwenty-two:for,bepleasedtoconsidermyunhappysituation,inthelightinwhichitreallymustappeartoeveryconsideratepersonwhoknowsit.Inthefirstplace,theman,whohasendeavouredtomakeme,hisproperty,willhuntmeasastray:andheknowshemaydosowithimpunity;forwhomhaveItoprotectmefromhim?

Thenastomyestate,theenviedestate,whichhasbeentheoriginalcauseofallmymisfortunes,itshallneverbemineuponlitigatedterms.Whatisthereinbeingenabledtoboast,thatIamworthmorethanIcanuse,orwishtouse?Andifmypoweriscircumscribed,Ishallnothavethattoanswerfor,whichIshouldhave,ifIdidnotuseitasIought:whichveryfewdo.Ishallhavenohusband,ofwhoseinterestIoughttobesoregardful,astopreventmedoingmorethanjusticetoothers,thatImaynotdolessforhim.Ifthereforemyfatherwillbepleased(asIshallpresume,inpropertime,toproposetohim)topaytwoannuitiesoutofit,onetomydearMrs.Norton,whichmaymakehereasyfortheremainderofherlife,assheisnowgrowingintoyears;theotherof50Â£.perannum,tothesamegoodwoman,fortheuseofmypoor,asIhad

thevanitytocallacertainsetofpeople,concerningwhomsheknowsallmymind;thatsoasfewaspossiblemaysufferbytheconsequencesofmyerror;Godblessthem,andgivethemheart'seaseandcontent,withtherest!

OtherreasonsformytakingthestepIhavehintedat,arethese.

ThiswickedmanknowsIhavenofriendintheworldbutyou:yourneighbourhoodthereforewouldbethefirsthewouldseekformein,wereyoutothinkitpossibleformetobeconcealedinit:andinthiscase



youmightbesubjectedtoinconvenienciesgreatereventhanthosewhichyouhavealreadysustainedonmyaccount.

FrommycousinMorden,werehetocome,Icouldnothopeprotection;since,byhislettertome,itisevident,thatmybrotherhasengagedhiminhisparty:norwouldI,byanymeans,subjectsoworthyamantodanger;asmightbethecase,fromtheviolenceofthisungovernablespirit.

Thesethingsconsidered,whatbettermethodcanItake,thantogoabroadtosomeoneoftheEnglishcolonies;wherenobodybutyourselfshallknowanythingofme;noryou,letmetellyou,presently,nortillIamfixed,and(ifitpleaseGod)inacourseoflivingtolerablytomymind?Foritisnosmallpartofmyconcern,thatmyindiscretionshavelaidsoheavyataxuponyou,mydearfriend,towhom,once,Ihopedtogivemorepleasurethanpain.

IamatpresentatoneMrs.Moore'satHampstead.Myheartmisgavemeatcomingtothisvillage,becauseIhadbeenherewithhimmorethanonce:butthecoachhitherwassoreadyaconveniency,thatIknewnotwhattodobetter.ThenIshallstayherenolongerthantillIcanreceiveyouranswertothis:inwhichyouwillbepleasedtoletmeknow,ifIcannotbehid,accordingtoyourformercontrivance,[happy,hadIgivenintoitatthetime!]byMrs.Townsend'sassistance,tilltheheatofhissearch

beover.TheDeptfordroad,Iimagine,willbetherightdirectiontohearofapassage,andtogetsafelyaboard.

Owhywasthegreatfriendofallunchained,andpermittedtoassumesospeciousaform,andyetallowedtoconcealhisfeetandhistalons,tillwiththeonehewasreadytotrampleuponmyhonour,andtostriketheotherintomyheart!--AndwhathadIdone,thatheshouldbeletlooseparticularlyuponme!

Forgivemethismurmuringquestion,theeffectofmyimpatience,myguiltyimpatience,Idoubt:for,asIhaveescapedwithmyhonour,andnothingbutmyworldlyprospects,andmypride,myambition,andmyvanity,havesufferedinthiswretchofmyhopefullerfortunes,mayInot

stillbemorehappythanIdeservetobe?Andisitnotinmyownpowerstill,bytheDivinefavour,tosecurethegreateststakeofall?Andwhoknowsbutthatthisverypathintowhichmyinconsiderationhasthrownme,strewedasitiswithbriersandthorns,whichtearinpiecesmygaudiertrappings,maynotbetherightpathtoleadmeintothegreatroadtomyfuturehappiness;whichmighthavebeenendangeredbyevilcommunication?

Andafterall,aretherenotstillmoredeservingpersonsthanI,whoneverfailedinanycapitalpointofduty,thanhavebeenmorehumbledthanmyself;andsometoo,bytheerrorsofparentsandrelations,bythetricksandbasenessofguardiansandtrustees,andinwhichtheirownrashnessorfollyhadnopart?

Iwillthenendeavourtomakethebestofmypresentlot.Andjoinwithme,mybest,myonlyfriend,inpraying,thatmypunishmentmayendhere;andthatmypresentafflictionsmaybesanctifiedtome.

Thisletterwillenableyoutoaccountforalineortwo,whichIsenttoWilson's,tobecarriedtoyou,onlyforafeint,togethisservantoutoftheway.Heseemedtobeleft,asIthought,foraspyuponme.Buthereturningtoosoon,Iwasforcedtowriteafewlinesforhimtocarrytohismaster,toatavernnearDoctorsCommons,withthesameview:and



thishappilyansweredmyend.

Iwroteearlyinthemorningabitterlettertothewretch,whichIleftforhimobviousenough;andIsupposehehasitbythistime.Ikeptnocopyofit.Ishallrecollectthecontents,andgiveyoutheparticularsofall,atmoreleisure.

Iamsureyouwillapproveofmyescape--therather,asthepeopleofthehousemustbeveryvile:forthey,andthatDorcastoo,didhearme(Iknowtheydid)cryoutforhelp:ifthefirehadbeenotherthanavillanousplot(althoughinthemorning,toblindthem,Ipretendedtothinkitotherwise)theywouldhavebeenalarmedasmuchasI;andhaverunin,hearingmescream,tocomfortme,supposingmyterrorwasthefire;torelieveme,supposingitwasanythingelse.ButthevileDorcaswentawayassoonasshesawthewretchthrowhisarmsaboutme!--Blessme,mydear,Ihadonlymyslippersandanunder-petticoaton.Iwasfrightedoutofmybed,byhercriesoffire;andthatIshouldbeburnttoashesinamoment--andshetogoaway,andnevertoreturn,noranybodyelse!AndyetIheardwomen'svoicesinthenextroom;indeedIdid--anevidentcontrivanceofthemall:--Godbepraised,Iamoutoftheirhouse!

Myterrorisnotyetover:Icanhardlythinkmyselfsafe:everywell-dressedmanIseefrommywindows,whetheronhorsebackoronfoot,I

thinktobehim.Iknowyouwillexpediteananswer.Amanandhorsewillbeprocuredmeto-morrowearly,tocarrythis.Tobesure,youcannotreturnananswerbythesameman,becauseyoumustseeMrs.Townsendfirst:nevertheless,Ishallwaitwithimpatiencetillyoucan;havingnofriendbutyoutoapplyto;andbeingsuchastrangertothispartoftheworld,thatIknownotwhichwaytoturnmyself;whithertogo;norwhattodo--WhatadreadfulhandhaveImadeofit!

Mrs.Moore,atwhosehouseIam,isawidow,andofgoodcharacter:andofthisoneofherneighbours,ofwhomIboughtahandkerchief,purposelytomakeinquirybeforeIwouldventure,informedme.

Iwillnotsetmyfootoutofdoors,tillIhaveyourdirection:andIamthemoresecure,havingdroptwordstothepeopleofthehousewherethecoachsetmedown,asifIexpectedachariottomeetmeinmywaytoHendon;avillagealittledistancefromthis.AndwhenIlefttheirhouse,Iwalkedbackwardandforwarduponthehill;atfirst,notknowingwhattodo;andafterwards,tobecertainthatIwasnotwatchedbeforeIventuredtoinquireafteralodging.

Youwilldirectforme,mydear,bythenameofMrs.HarriotLucas.

HadInotmademyescapewhenIdid,Iwasresolvedtoattemptitagainandagain.HewasgonetotheCommonsforalicense,ashewroteme

word;forIrefusedtoseehim,notwithstandingthepromiseheextortedfromme.

Howhard,hownexttoimpossible,mydear,toavoidmanylesserdeviations,whenwearebetrayedintoacapitalone!

ForfearIshouldnotgetawayatmyfirsteffort,Ihadapprizedhim,thatIwouldnotseteyeuponhimunderaweek,inordertogainmyselftimeforitindifferentways.AndwereIsotohavebeenwatchedastohavemadeitnecessary,Iwould,aftersuchaninstanceoftheconnivance



ofthewomenofthehouse,haverunoutintothestreet,andthrownmyselfintothenexthouseIcouldhaveentered,orclaimprotectionfromthefirstpersonIhadmet--Womentodesertthecauseofapoorcreatureoftheirownsex,insuchasituation,whatmusttheybe!--Then,suchpoorguiltysortoffiguresdidtheymakeinthemorningafterhewasgoneout--soearnesttogetmeupstairs,andtoconvinceme,bythescorchedwindow-boards,andburntcurtainsandvallens,thatthefirewasreal--that(althoughIseemedtobelievealltheywouldhavemebelieve)Iwasmoreandmoreresolvedtogetoutoftheirhouseatalladventures.

WhenIbegan,Ithoughttowritebutafewlines.But,bemysubjectwhatitwill,IknownothowtoconcludewhenIwritetoyou.Itwasalwaysso:itisnotthereforeowingpeculiarlytothatmostinterestingandunhappysituation,whichyouwillallow,however,toengrossatpresentthewholemindof

Yourunhappy,butever-affectionateCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAYMORNING,PASTTWOO'CLOCK.

IoTriumphe!--IoClarissa,sing!--Oncemore,whatahappymanthyfriend!--Asillydearnovice,tobeheardtotellthecoachmanwheretocarryher!--AndtogotoHampstead,ofallthevillagesaboutLondon!--Theplacewherewehadbeentogethermorethanonce!

MethinksIamsorryshemanagednobetter!--Ishallfindtherecoveryofhertooeasyatask,Ifear!Hadshebutknownhowmuchdifficultyenhancesthevalueofanythingwithme,andhadshetheleastnotionofobligingmebyit,shewouldneverhavestoptshortatHampstead,surely.

Well,butafteralthisexultation,thouwiltask,IfIhavealreadygot

backmycharmer?--Ihavenot;--Butknowingwheresheis,isalmostthesamethingashavingherinmypower.AnditdelightsmetothinkhowshewillstartandtremblewhenIfirstpopuponher!Howshewilllookwithconsciousguilt,thatwillmorethanwipeoffmyguiltofWednesdaynight,whensheseesherinjuredlover,andacknowledgedhusband,fromwhom,thegreatestoffelonies,shewouldhavestolenherself.

ButthouwiltbeimpatienttoknowhowIcamebymylights.Readtheenclosedletter,asIhavetoldthee,Ihavegivenmyfellow,inapprehensionofsuchanelopement;andthatwilltelltheeall,andwhatImayreasonablyexpectfromtherascal'sdiligenceandmanagement,ifhewishesevertoseemyfaceagain.

Ireceiveditabouthalfanhourago,justasIwasgoingtoliedowninmyclothes,andithasmademesomuchalive,that,midnightasitis,IhavesentforaBlunt'schariot,toattendmeherebydaypeep,withmyusualcoachman,ifpossible;andknowingnotwhatelsetodowithmyself,Isatdown,and,inthejoyofmyheart,havenotonlywrittenthusfar,buthaveconcludeduponthemeasuresIshalltakewhenadmittedtoherpresence:forwellamIawareofthedifficultiesIshallhavetocontendwithfromherperverseness.



HONNEREDSIR,

ThisistosertifieyourHonner,ashowIamheeratHamestet,whereIhavefoundoutmyladytobeinloginsatoneMrs.Moore's,nearuponHamestet-Hethe.AndIhavesoorderedmatters,thatherladyshipcannotsturbutImusthavenoticeofhergoinsandcomins.AsIknowedIdurstnotlookintoyourHonner'sfase,ifIhadnotfoundoutmylady,thoffshewasgoneofftheprems'sinaquarterofanhour,asamanmaysay;soIknowedyouwouldbegladatharttoknowIhavefoundherout:andsoIsendthissPeturPatrick,whoistohave5shillings,itbeingnownear12oftheclockatnite;forhewouldnotsturwithoutaheartydrinktoobesides:andIwaswillingallshuldebesnuglikewaysattheloginsbeforeIsent.

IhavemunnyofyoureHonner's;butIthoughtashow,ifthemanwaspayedbymebeforend,hemoughtplaytrix;soleftthattoyourHonner.

Myladyknowsnothingofmybeinghereaway.ButIthouteitbestnottolevetheplase,becauseshehastakentheloginsbutforafuenites.

IfyourHonnercometotheUpperFlax,Iwillbeinsiteallthedayaboutthetapp-houseortheHethe.Ihaveborrowedanothercote,insteadofyourHonner'sliferie,andablackewigg;socannotbeknoenbymylady,iffashowesheshuldseeme:andhavemadeasifIhadthetooth-

ake;sowithmyhancriffeatmymothe,thetethwhichyourHonnerwaspleasedtobettoutwithyourHonner'sfyste,andmydam'dwidemothe,asyourHonnernotifysittobe,cannotbeknoentobemine.

ThetwoinnerlettersIhadfrommylady,beforeshewentofftheprems's.OnewastobeleftatMr.Wilson'sforMissHowe.ThenextwastobeforyourHonner.ButIknowedyouwasnotattheplasedirected;andbeingafear'dofwhatfellout,soIkeptthemforyourHonner,andsocouldnotgiveumtoyou,untilIseedyou.MissHow'sIonlymadebelieftoherladyshipasIcarriedit,andsedashowtherewasnothingleftforhur,asshewishedtoknoe:soheretheybebothe.

Iam,mayitpleaseyourHonner,

YourHonner'smustdutiful,And,woncemore,happyservant,WM.SUMMERS.

***

Thetwoinnerletters,asWill.callsthem,'tisplain,werewrittenfornootherpurpose,buttosendhimoutofthewaywiththem,andoneofthemtoamuseme.ThatdirectedtoMissHoweisonlythis:--

THURSDAY,JUNE8.

Iwritethis,mydearMissHowe,onlyforafeint,andtoseeifitwillgocurrent.Ishallwriteatlargeverysoon,ifnotmiserablyprevented!!!

CL.H.

***



Now,Jack,willnotherfeintsjustifymine!Doesshenotinvademyprovince,thinkestthou?Andisitnotnowfairlycometo--Whoshallmostdeceiveandcheattheother?So,Ithankmystars,weareuponaparatlast,astothispoint,whichisagreateasetomyconscience,thoumustbelieve.AndifwhatHudibrastellsusistrue,thedearfugitivehasalsoabundanceofpleasuretocome.

DoubtlessthepleasureisasgreatInbeingcheated,astocheat.Aslookers-onfindmostdelight,Wholeastperceivethejuggler'ssleight;Andstillthelesstheyunderstand,Themoreadmiretheslightofhand.

***

Thismydearjuggler'slettertome;theotherinnerlettersentbyWill.

THURSDAY,JUNE8.

MR.LOVELACE,

Donotgivemecausetodreadyourreturn.IfyouwouldnotthatIshouldhateyouforever,sendmehalfalinebythebearer,toassuremethatyouwillnotattempttoseemeforaweektocome.Icannotlookyouinthefacewithoutequalconfusionandindignation.Theobligingmeinthis,isbutapooratonementforyourlastnight'svilebehaviour.

YoumaypassthistimeinajourneytoLordM.'s;andIcannotdoubt,iftheladiesofyourfamilyareasfavourabletome,asyouhaveassuredmetheyare,butthatyouwillhaveinterestenoughtoprevailwithoneofthemtoobligemewiththeircompany.Afteryourbasenessoflastnight,

youwillnotwonder,thatIinsistuponthisproofofyourfuturehonour.

IfCaptainTomlinsoncomesmeantime,Icanhearwhathehastosay,andsendyouanaccountofit.

Butinlessthanaweekifyouseeme,itmustbeowingtoafreshactofviolence,ofwhichyouknownottheconsequence.

Sendmetherequestedline,ifeveryouexpecttohavetheforgivenessconfirmed,thepromiseofwhichyouextortedfrom

TheunhappyCL.H.

***

Now,Belford,whatcanstthousayinbehalfofthissweetrogueofalady?Whatcanstthousayforher?'Tisapparent,thatshewasfullydetermineduponanelopementwhenshewroteit.Andthuswouldshemakemeofpartyagainstmyself,bydrawingmeintogiveheraweek'stimetocompleteit.And,morewickedstill,sendmeuponafool'serrandto



bringuponeofmycousins.--Whenwecametohavethesatisfactionoffindinghergoneoff,andmeexposedforever!--Whatpunishmentcanbebadenoughforsuchalittlevillainofalady?

Butmind,moreover,howplausiblysheaccountsbythisbillet,(supposingsheshouldnotfindanopportunityofelopingbeforeIreturned,)fortheresolutionofnotseeingmeforaweek;andforthebreadandbutterexpedient!--Sochildishaswethoughtit!

Thechariotisnotcome;andifitwere,itisyettoosoonforeverythingbutmyimpatience.AndasIhavealreadytakenallmymeasures,andcanthinkofnothingbutmytriumph,Iwillresumeherviolentletter,inordertostrengthenmyresolutionsagainsther.Iwasbeforeintoogloomyawaytoproceedwithit.Butnowthesubjectisallalivetome,andmygayerfancy,likethesunbeams,willirradiateit,andturnthesolemndeep-greenintoabrighterverdure.

WhenIhavecalleduponmycharmertoexplainsomepartsofherletter,andtoatoneforothers,Iwillsendit,oracopyofit,tothee.

Sufficeitatpresenttotellthee,inthefirstplace,thatsheisdeterminednevertobemywife.--Tobesurethereoughttobenocompulsioninsomaterialacase.Compulsionwasherparents'fault,whichIhavecensuredsoseverely,thatIshallhardlybeguiltyofthe

same.IamthereforegladIknowhermindastothisessentialpoint.Ihaveruinedher!shesays.--Nowthat'safib,takeitherownway--ifIhad,shewouldnot,perhaps,haverunawayfromme.

Sheisthrownuponthewideworld!NowIownthatHampstead-heathaffordsveryprettyandveryextensiveprospects;but'tisnotthewideworldneither.Andsupposethattobehergrievance,Ihopesoontorestorehertoanarrower.

Iamtheenemyofhersoul,aswellasofherhonour!--Confoundedlysevere!Nevertheless,anotherfib!--ForIlovehersoulverywell;butthinknomoreofitinthiscasethanofmyown.

Sheistobethrownuponstrangers!--Andisnotthatherownfault?--Muchagainstmywill,Iamsure!

Sheiscastfromastateofindependencyintooneofobligation.Sheneverwasinastateofindependency;norisitfitawomanshould,ofanyage,orinanystateoflife.Andastothestateofobligation,thereisnosuchthingaslivingwithoutbeingbeholdentosomebody.Mutualobligationistheveryessenceandsoulofthesocialandcommerciallife:--Whyshouldshebeexemptfromit?Iamsurethepersonsheravesatdesiresnotsuchanexemption;hasbeenlongdependentuponher;andwouldrejoicetoowefurtherobligationstoherthanhecanboastofhitherto.

Shetalksofherfather'scurse!--ButhaveInotrepaidhimforitanhundredfoldinthesamecoin?Butwhymustthefaultsofotherpeoplebelaidatmydoor?HaveInotenowofmyown?

Butthegrey-eyeddawnbeginstopeep--letmesumupall.

Inshort,then,thedearcreature'sletterisacollectionofinvectivesnotverynewtome:thoughtheoccasionforthem,nodoubtisnewtoher.Alittlesprinklingoftheromanticandcontradictoryrunsthroughit.



Sheloves,andshehates;sheencouragesmetopursueher,bytellingmeIsafelymay;andyetshebegsIwillnot.Sheapprehendspovertyandwant,yetresolvestogiveawayherestate;Togratifywhom?--Why,inshort,thosewhohavebeenthecauseofhermisfortunes.Andfinally,thoughsheresolvesnevertobemine,yetshehassomeregretsatleavingme,becauseoftheopeningprospectsofareconciliationwithherfriends.

Butneverdidmorningdawnsotardilyasthis!--Neitheristhechariotyetcome.

***

Agentlemantospeakwithme,Dorcas?--Whocanwantmethusearly?

CaptainTomlinson,sayestthou?Surelyhemusthavetraveledallnight!EarlyriserasIam,howcouldhethinktofindmeupthusearly?

Letbutthechariotcome,andheshallaccompanymeinittothebottomofthehill,(thoughhereturntotownonfoot;fortheCaptainisallobliginggoodness,)thatImayhearallhehastosay,andtellhimallmymind,andlosenotime.

Well,nowIamsatisfiedthatthisrebelliousflightwillturntomyadvantage,asallcrushedrebellionsdototheadvantageofasovereigninpossession.

***

DearCaptain,Irejoicetoseeyou--justinthenickoftime--See!See!

Therosy-finger'dmornappears,Andfromhermantleshakeshertears:

Thesunarisingmortalscheers,Anddrivestherisingmistsaway,Inpromiseofagloriousday.

Excuseme,Sir,thatIsaluteyoufrommyfavouritebard.Hethatriseswiththelarkwillsingwiththelark.StrangenewssinceIsawyou,Captain!--Poormistakenlady!--Butyouhavetoomuchgoodness,Iknow,torevealtoheruncleHarlowetheerrorofthiscapriciousbeauty.Itwillallturnoutforthebest.Youmustaccompanymepartoftheway.Iknowthedelightyoutakeincomposingdifferences.But'tisthetaskoftheprudenttohealthebreachesmadebytherashnessandfollyoftheimprudent.

***

Andnow,(allaroundmesostillandsosilent,)therattlingofthechariot-wheelsatastreet'sdistancedoIhear!AndtothisangelofawomanIfly!

Reward,OGodofLove![Thecauseisthyown!]Rewardthou,asitdeserves,mysufferingperseverance!--Succeedmyendeavourstobringback



tothyobediencethischarmingfugitive!Makeheracknowledgeherrashness;repentherinsults;imploremyforgiveness;begtobereinstatedinmyfavour,andthatIwillburyinobliviontheremembranceofherheinousoffenceagainstthee,andagainstme,thyfaithfulvotary.

***

Thechariotatthedoor!--Icome!Icome!

Iattendyou,goodCaptain--

Indeed,Sir--

Pray,Sir--civilityisnotceremony.

Andnow,dressedasabridegroom,myheartelatedbeyondthatofthemostdesiringone,(attendedbyafootmanwhommybelovedneversaw,)IamalreadyatHampstead!

LETTERXXIIIMR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.UPPER-FLASK,HAMPSTEAD.FRI.MORN.7O'CLOCK.(JUNE9.)

Iamnowhere,andherehavebeenthishourandhalf.--WhatanindustriousspirithaveI!--NobodycansaythatIeatthebreadofidleness.ItaketruepainsforallthepleasureIenjoy.Icannotbutadmiremyselfstrangely;forcertainly,withthisactivesoul,IshouldhavemadeaverygreatfigureinwhateverstationIhadfilled.ButhadIbeenaprince,(tobesureIshouldhavemadeamostnoble

prince!)IshouldhaveledupamilitarydanceequaltothatofthegreatMacedonian.Ishouldhaveaddedkingdomtokingdom,anddespoiledallmyneighboursovereigns,inordertohaveobtainedthenameofRoberttheGreat!AndIwouldhavegonetowarwiththeGreatTurk,andthePersian,andMogul,fortheseraglios;fornotoneofthoseeasternmonarchsshouldhavehadaprettywomantoblesshimselfwithtillIhaddonewithher.

AndnowIhavesomuchleisureuponmyhands,that,afterhavinginformedmyselfofallnecessaryparticulars,Iamsettomyshort-handwritinginordertokeepupwithtimeaswellasIcan;forthesubjectisnowbecomeworthyofme;anditisyettoosoon,Idoubt,topaymycomplimentstomycharmer,afterallherfatiguesfortwoorthreedays

past.And,moreover,Ihaveabundanceofmatterspreparativetomyfutureproceedingstorecount,inordertoconnectandrenderallintelligible.

IpartedwiththeCaptainatthefootofthehill,treblyinstructed;thatistosay,astothefact,totheprobable,andtothepossible.IfmybelovedandIcanmeet,andmakeupwithoutthemediatingofthisworthygentleman,itwillbesomuchthebetter.Aslittleforeignaidaspossibleinmyamorousconflictshasalwaysbeenarulewithme;thoughhereIhavebeenobligedtocallinsomuch.Andwhoknowsbutit



maybethebetterfortheladythelessshemakesnecessary?Icannotbearthatsheshouldsitsoindifferenttomeastobeinearnesttopartwithmeforeveruponsoslight,orevenuponanyoccasion.IfIfindsheis--butnomorethreateningstillsheisinmypower--thouknowestwhatIhavevowed.

AllWill.'saccount,fromthelady'sflighttohisfindingheragain,alltheaccountsofthepeopleofthehouse,thecoachman'sinformationtoWill.,andsoforth,collectedtogether,standthus:

'TheHampsteadcoach,whenthedearfugitivecametoit,hadbuttwopassengersinit.Butshemadethefellowtogooffdirectly,payingforthevacantplaces.

'ThetwopassengersdirectingthecoachmantosetthemdownattheUpperFlask,shebidhimsetherdowntherealso.

'Theytookleaveofher,[veryrespectfully,nodoubt,]andshewentintothehouse,andasked,ifshecouldnothaveadishoftea,andaroomtoherselfforhalfanhour.

'TheyshowedheruptotheveryroomwhereInowam.ShesatattheverytableInowwriteupon;and,Ibelieve,thechairIsitinwasher's.'OBelford,ifthouknowestwhatloveis,thouwiltbeabletoaccountfor

theseminutiae.'Sheseemedspiritlessandfatigued.Thegentlewomanherselfchosetoattendsogenteelandlovelyaguest.Sheaskedherifshewouldhavebreadandbutterwithhertea?

'No.Shecouldnoteat.

'Theyhadverygoodbiscuits.

'Asshepleased.

'Thegentlewomansteptoutforsome,andreturningonasudden,she

observedthesweetlittlefugitiveendeavouringtorestrainaviolentburstofgrieftowhichshehadgivenwayinthelittleinterval.

'However,whentheteacame,shemadethelandladysitdownwithher,andaskedherabundanceofquestions,aboutthevillagesandroadsintheneighbourhood.

'Thegentlewomantooknoticetoher,thatsheseemedtobetroubledinmind.

'Tenderspirits,shereplied,couldnotpartwithdearfriendswithoutconcern.'

Shemeantme,nodoubt.

'Shemadenoinquiryaboutalodging,thoughbythesequel,thou'ltobserve,thatsheseemedtointendtogonofartherthatnightthanHampstead.Butaftershehaddranktwodishes,andputabiscuitinherpocket,[sweetsoul!toserveforhersupper,perhaps,]shelaiddownhalf-a-crown;andrefusingchange,sighing,tookleave,sayingshewouldproceedtowardsHendon;thedistancetowhichhadbeenoneofherquestions.



'TheyofferedtosendtoknowifaHampsteadcoachwerenottogotoHendonthatevening.

'Nomatter,shesaid--perhapsshemightmeetthechariot.'

Anotherofherfeints,Isuppose:forhow,orwithwhom,couldanythingofthissorthavebeenconcertedsinceyesterdaymorning?

'Shehad,asthepeopletooknoticetooneanother,somethingsouncommonlynobleinherair,andinherpersonandbehaviour,thattheyweresureshewasofquality.Andhavingnoservantwithherofeithersex,hereyes,[herfineeyes,thegentlewomancalledthem,strangerasshewas,andawoman!]beingswelledandred,theyweresuretherewasanelopementinthecase,eitherfromparentsorguardians;fortheysupposedhertooyoungandtoomaidenlytobeamarriedlady;andwereshemarried,nohusbandwouldletsuchafineyoungcreaturetobeunattendedandalone;norgivehercauseforsomuchgrief,asseemedtobesettledinhercountenance.Thenattimessheseemedtobesobewildered,theysaid,thattheywereafraidshehaditinherheadtomakeawaywithherself.

'Allthesethingsputtogether,excitedtheircuriosity;andtheyengagedapeeryservant,astheycalledafootmanwhowasdrinkingwithKit.thehostler,atthetap-house,towatchallhermotions.Thisfellow

reportedthefollowingparticulars,astheyre-reportedtome:'SheindeedwenttowardsHendon,passingbythesignoftheCastleontheHeath;then,stopping,lookedabouther,anddownintothevalleybeforeher.Then,turningherfacetowardsLondon,sheseemed,bythemotionofherhandkerchieftohereyes,toweep;repenting[whoknows?]therashstepshehadtaken,andwishingherselfbackagain.'

Betterforher,ifshedo,Jack,oncemoreIsay!--Woebetothegirlwhocouldthinkofmarryingme,yettobeabletorunawayfromme,andrenouncemeforever!

'Then,continuingonafewpaces,shestoptagain--and,asifdisliking

herroad,againseemingtoweep,directedhercoursebacktowardsHampstead.'

Iamgladsheweptsomuch,becausenoheartbursts,(betheoccasionforthesorrowwhatitwill,)whichhasthatkindlyrelief.HenceIhardlyeverammovedatthesightofthesepellucidfugitivesinafinewoman.Howoften,inthepasttwelvehours,haveIwishedthatIcouldcrymostconfoundedly?

'Shethensawacoach-and-fourdrivingtowardsherempty.Shecrossedthepathshewasin,asiftomeetit,andseemedtointendtospeaktothecoachman,hadhestoptorspokenfirst.Heasearnestlylookedather.--Everyonedidsowhopassedher,(sothemanwhodoggedherwasthe

lesssuspected.')--Happyrogueofacoachman,hadstthouknownwhosenoticethoudidstengage,andwhomthoumightesthaveobliged!--ItwasthedivineClarissaHarloweatwhomthougazest!--MineownClarissaHarlowe!--Butitwaswellformethatthouwertasundistinguishingasthebeaststhoudrovest;otherwise,whatawild-goosechacehadIbeenled?

'Thelady,aswellasthecoachman,inshort,seemedtowantresolution;--thehorseskepton--[thefellow'sheadandeyes,nodoubt,turnedbehindhim,]andthedistancesoonlengthenedbeyondrecall.Witha



wistfuleyeshelookedafterhim;sighedandweptagain;astheservantwhothenslylypassedher,observed.

'Bythistimeshehadreachedthehouses.Shelookedupateveryoneasshepassed;nowandthenbreathinguponherbaredhand,andapplyingittoherswelledeyes,toabatetheredness,anddrythetears.Atlast,seeingabillupforlettinglodgings,shewalkedbackwardsandforwardshalfadozentimes,asifunabletodeterminewhattodo.Andthenwentfartherintothetown,andtherethefellow,beingspokentobyoneofhisfamiliars,lostherforafewminutes:buthesoonsawhercomeoutofalinen-draperyshop,attendedwithaservant-maid,having,asitproved,gotthatmaid-servanttogowithhertothehousesheisnowat.*

*SeeLetterXXI.ofthisvolume.

'Thefellow,afterwaitingaboutanhour,andnotseeinghercomeout,returned,concludingthatshehadtakenlodgingsthere.'

Andhere,supposingmynarrativeofthedramatickind,endsActthefirst.Andnowbegins

ACTIISCENE.--HampsteadHeathcontinued.ENTERMYRASCAL.

Will.havinggotatalltheseparticulars,byexchangingothersasfranklyagainstthem,withwhichIhadformerlypreparedhimbothverballyandinwriting.--Ifoundthepeoplealreadyofmyparty,andfullofgoodwishesformysuccess,repeatingtomealltheytoldhim.

Buthehadfirstacquaintedmewiththeaccountshehadgiventhemofhisladyandme.ItisnecessarythatIgivetheetheparticularsofhistale,andIhavealittletimeuponmyhands:forthemaidofthehouse,whohadbeenoutofanerrand,tellsus,thatshesawMrs.Moore,[with

whommustbemyfirstbusiness,]gointothehouseofayounggentleman,withinafewdoorsofher,whohasamaidensister,MissRawlinsbyname,sonotifiedforprudence,thatnoneofheracquaintanceundertakeanythingofconsequencewithoutconsultingher.

MeanwhilemyhonestcoachmaniswalkingaboutMissRawlin'sdoor,inordertobringmenoticeofMrs.Moore'sreturntoherownhouse.Ihopehergossip's-talewillbeassoontoldasmine--whichtakeasfollows:--

Will.toldthem,beforeIcame,'Thathisladywasbutlatelymarriedtooneofthefinestgentlemenintheworld.Butthathe,beingverygayandlively,shewasmortaljealousofhim;and,inafitofthatsort,hadelopedfromhim.Foralthoughshelovedhimdearly,andhedoated

uponher,(aswellhemight,since,astheyhadseen,shewasthefinestcreaturethateverthesunshoneupon,)yetshewasapttobeverywilfulandsullen,ifhemighttakelibertytosayso--buttruthwastruth;--andifshecouldnothaveherownwayineverything,wouldbeforleavinghim.Thatshehadthreeorfourtimesplayedhismastersuchtricks;butwithallthevirtueandinnocenceintheworld;runningawaytoanintimatefriendofher's,who,thoughayoungladyofhonour,wasbuttooindulgenttoherinthisonlyfailing;forwhichreasonhismasterhasbroughthertoLondonlodgings;theirusualresidencebeinginthecountry:andthat,onhisrefusingtosatisfyheraboutaladyhehad



beenseenwithinSt.James'sPark,shehad,forthefirsttimesinceshecametotown,servedhismasterthus,whomhehadlefthalf-distractedonthisaccount.'

Andtrulywellhemight,poorgentleman!criedthehonestfolks,pityingmebeforetheysawme.

'Hetoldthemhowhecamebyhisintelligenceofher;andmadehimselfsuchaninterestwiththem,thattheyhelpedhimtoachangeofclothesforhimself;andthelandlord,athisrequest,privatelyinquired,iftheladyactuallyremainedatMrs.Moore's,andforhowlongshehadtakenthelodgings?--whichhefoundonlytobeforaweekcertain;butshehadsaid,thatshebelievedsheshouldhardlystaysolong.Andthenitwasthathewrotehisletter,andsentitbyhonestPeterPatrick,asthouhastheard.'

WhenIcame,mypersonanddresshavingansweredWill.'sdescription,thepeoplewerereadytoworshipme.Inow-and-thensighed,now-and-thenputonalighterair;which,however,Idesignedshouldshowmoreofvexationill-disguised,thanofrealcheerfulness;andtheytoldWill.itwassuchathousandpitiessofinealadyshouldhavesuchskittishtricks;adding,thatshemightexposeherselftogreatdangersbythem;forthattherewererakeseverywhere--[Lovelacesineverycorner,Jack!]andmanyaboutthattown,whowouldleavenothingunattemptedtogetintoher

company;andalthoughtheymightnotprevailuponher,yetmighttheyneverthelesshurtherreputation;and,intime,estrangetheaffectionsofsofineagentlemanfromher.

Goodsensiblepeoplethese!--Hey,Jack!

Here,Landlord,onewordwithyou.--Myservant,Ifind,hasacquaintedyouwiththereasonofmycomingthisway.--Anunhappyaffair,Landlord!--Averyunhappyaffair!--Butneverwasthereamorevirtuouswoman.

So,Sir,sheseemstobe.Athousandpitiesherladyshiphassuchways--andtosogood-humouredagentlemanasyouseemtobe,Sir.

Mother-spoilt,Landlord!--Mother-spoilt!--that'sthething!--But[sighing]Imustmakethebestofit.WhatIwantyoutodoformeistolendmeagreat-coat.--Icarenotwhatitis.Ifmyspouseshouldseemeatadistance,shewouldmakeitverydifficultformetogetatherspeech.Agreat-coatwithacape,ifyouhaveone.Imustcomeuponherbeforesheisaware.

Iamafraid,Sir,Ihavenonefitforsuchagentlemanasyou.

O,anythingwilldo!--Theworsethebetter.

ExitLandlord.--Re-enterwithtwogreat-coats.

Ay,Landlord,thiswillbebest;forIcanbuttonthecapeoverthelowerpartofmyface.Don'tIlookdevilishlydownandconcerned,Landlord?

Ineversawagentlemanwithabetter-naturedlook.--'Tispityyoushouldhavesuchtrials,Sir.

Imustbeveryunhappy,nodoubtofit,Landlord.--AndyetIamalittlepleased,youmustneedsthink,thatIhavefoundheroutbeforeanygreatinconveniencehasarisentoher.However,ifIcannotbreakherofthese



freaks,she'llbreakmyheart;forIdoloveherwithallherfailings.

Thegoodwoman,whowaswithinhearingofallthis,pitiedmemuch.

Pray,yourHonour,saidshe,ifImaybesobold,wasmadameveramamma?

No--[andIsighed.]--Wehavebeenbutalittlewhilemarried;andasImaysaytoyou,itisherownfaultthatsheisnotinthatway.[Notawordofalieinthis,Jack.]Buttotellyoutruth,Madam,shemaybecomparedtothedoginthemanger--

Iunderstandyou,Sir,[simpering,]sheisbutyoung,Sir.Ihaveheardofoneortwosuchskittishyoungladies,inmytime,Sir.--Butwhenmadamisinthatway,Idaresay,asshelovesyou,(anditwouldbestrangeifshedidnot!)allthiswillbeover,andshemaymakethebestofwives.

That'sallmyhope.

SheisafineladyasIeverbeheld.--Ihope,Sir,youwon'tbetoosevere.She'llgetoverallthesefreaks,ifonceshebeamamma,Iwarrant.

Ican'tbeseveretoher--sheknowsthat.ThemomentIseeher,all

resentmentisoverwithme,ifshegivesmebutonekindlook.AllthistimeIwasadjustingthehorseman'scoat,andWill.wasputtinginthetiesofmywig,*andbuttoningthecapeovermychin.

*Thefashionablewigsatthattime.

Iaskedthegentlewomanforalittlepowder.Shebroughtmeapowder-box,andIslightlyshookthepuffovermyhat,andflaptonesideofit,thoughthelacelookedalittletoogayformycovering;and,slouchingitovermyeyes,ShallIbeknown,thinkyou,Madam?

YourHonourissoexpert,Sir!--Iwish,ifImaybesobold,yourladyhasnotsomecausetobejealous.Butitwillbeimpossible,ifyoukeepyourlacedclothescovered,thatanybodyshouldknowyouinthatdresstobethesamegentleman--excepttheyfindyououtbyyourclockedstockings.

Wellobserved--Can'tyou,Landlord,lendorsellmeapairofstockings,thatwilldrawoverthese?Icancutoffthefeet,iftheywon'tgointomyshoes.

Hecouldletmehaveapairofcoarse,butclean,stirrupstockings,ifIpleased.

Thebestintheworldforthepurpose.

Hefetch'dthem.Will.drewthemon;andmylegsthenmadeagoodgoutyappearance.

Thegoodwomansmiling,wishedmesuccess;andsodidthelandlord.AndasthouknowestthatIamnotabadmimic,Itookacane,whichIborrowedofthelandlord,andstoopedintheshoulderstoaquarterofafootlessheight,andstumpedawaycrosstothebowling-green,to



practisealittlethehobblinggaitofagoutyman.--Thelandladywhisperedherhusband,asWill.tellsme,He'sagoodone,Iwarranthim--Idaresaythefaultliesnotatallofoneside.Whileminehostreplied,ThatIwassolivelyandsogood-naturedagentleman,thathedidnotknowwhocouldbeangrywithme,dowhatIwould.Asensiblefellow!--Iwishmycharmerwereofthesameopinion.

AndnowIamgoingtotryifIcan'tagreewithgoodyMooreforlodgingsandotherconvenienciesformysickwife.

'Wife,Lovelace?'methinksthouinterrogatest.

Yes,wife,forwhoknowswhatcautionsthedearfugitivemayhavegiveninapprehensionofme?

'ButhasgoodyMooreanyotherlodgingstolet?'

Yes,yes;Ihavetakencareofthat;andfindthatshehasjustsuchconvenienciesasIwant.AndIknowthatmywifewilllikethem.For,althoughmarried,IcandoeverythingIplease;andthat'saboldword,youknow.Buthadsheonlyagarrettolet,Iwouldhavelikedit;andbeenapoorauthorafraidofarrests,andmadethatmyplaceofrefuge;yetwouldhavemadeshifttopaybeforehandforwhatIhad.Icansuitmyselftoanycondition,that'smycomfort.

***

ThewidowMoorereturned!sayyou?--Down,down,flutterer!--Thisimpertinentheartismoretroublesometomethanmyconscience,Ithink.--Ishallbeobligedtohoarsenmyvoice,androughenmycharacter,tokeepupwithitspuppilydancings.

Butletmesee,shallIbeangryorpleasedwhenIamadmittedtomybeloved'spresence?

Angrytobesure.--Hasshenotbrokenherwordwithme?--AtatimetoowhenIwasmeditatingtodohergratefuljustice?--Andisnotbreachofwordadreadfulcrimeingoodfolks?--Ihaveeverbeenforformingmyjudgmentofthenatureofthingsandactions,notsomuchfromwhattheyareinthemselves,asfromthecharacteroftheactors.Thusitwouldbeasoddathinginsuchaswetokeepourwordswithawoman,asitwouldbewickedinhertobreakher'stous.

Seestthounotthatthisunseasonablegravityisadmittedtoquellthepalpitationsofthisunmanageableheart?Butstillitwillgoonwithitsboundings.I'lltryasIrideinmychariottotranquilize.

'Ride,Bob!solittleaway?'

Yes,ride,Jack;foramInotlame?Andwillitnotlookwelltohavealodgerwhokeepshischariot?Whatwidow,whatservant,asksquestionsofamanwithanequipage?

Mycoachman,aswellasmyotherservant,isunderWill.'stuition.

Neverwastheresuchahideousrascalashehasmadehimself.Thedevilonlyandhisothermastercanknowhim.Theybothhavesettheirmarksuponhim.Astomyhonour'smark,itwillneverbeoutofhisdam'dwide



mothe,ashecallsit.Forthedogwillbehangedbeforehecanlosetherestofhisteethbyage.

Iamgone.

LETTERXXIV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.HAMPSTEAD,FRIDAYNIGHT,JUNE9.

Now,Belford,forthenarrativeofnarratives.IwillcontinueitasIhaveopportunity;andthatsodexterously,that,ifIbreakofftwentytimes,thoushaltnotdiscernwhereIpiecemythread.

Althoughgrievouslyafflictedwiththegout,Ialightedoutofmychariot(leaningveryhardonmycanewithonehand,andonmynewservant'sshoulderwiththeother)thesameinstantalmostthathehadknockedatthedoor,thatImightbesureofadmissionintothehouse.

Itookcaretobuttonmygreatcoataboutme,andtocoverwithiteventhepummelofmysword,itbeingalittletoogayformyyears.Iknew

notwhatoccasionImighthaveformysword.Istoopedforward;blinkedwithmyeyestoconcealtheirlustre(novanityinsayingthat,Jack);mychinwraptupforthetooth-ache;myslouched,lacedhat,andsomuchofmywigaswasvisible,givingme,alltogether,theappearanceofanantiquatedbeau.

Mywife,Iresolvedbeforehand,shouldhaveacomplicationofdisorders.

Themaidcametothedoor.Iaskedforhermistress.Sheshowedmeintooneoftheparlours;andIsatdownwithagoutyOh!--

ENTERGOODYMOORE.

Yourservant,Madam--butyoumustexcuseme;Icannotwellstand--Ifindbythebillatthedoor,thatyouhavelodgingstolet[mumblingmywordsasif,likemymanWill.,Ihadlostsomeofmyfore-teeth]:bepleasedtoinformmewhattheyare;forIlikeyoursituation--andIwilltellyoumyfamily--Ihaveawife,agoodoldwoman--olderthanmyself,bytheway,aprettydeal.Sheisinabadstateofhealth,andisadvisedintotheHampsteadair.Shewillhavetwomaidservantsandafootman.Thecoachorchariot(Ishallnothavethemputupbothtogether)wecanputupanywhere,andthecoachmanwillbewithhishorses.

When,Sir,shallyouwanttocomein?

Iwilltakethemfromthisveryday;and,ifconvenient,willbringmywifeintheafternoon.

Perhaps,Sir,youwouldboard,aswellaslodge?

Thatasyouplease.Itwillsavemethetroubleofbringingmycook,ifwedo.AndIsupposeyouhaveservantswhoknowhowtodressacoupleofdishes.Mywifemusteatplainfood,andIdon'tlovekickshaws.

Wehaveasinglelady,whowillbegoneintwoorthreedays.Shehas



oneofthebestapartments:thatwillthenbeatliberty.

Youhaveoneortwogoodonesmeantime,Ipresume,Madam,justtoreceivemywife;forwehavelosttime--thesedamn'dphysicians--excuseme,Madam,Iamnotusedtocurse;butitisowingtotheloveIhaveformywife--theyhavekeptherinhand,tilltheyareashamedtotakemorefees,andnowadvisehertotheair.Iwishwehadsentherhitheratfirst.Butwemustnowmakethebestofit.

Excuseme,Madam,[forshelookedhardatme,]thatIammuffledupinthiswarmweather.IambuttoosensiblethatIhaveleftmychambersoonerthatIought,andperhapsshallhaveareturnofmygoutforit.Icameoutthusmuffledupwithadreadfulpaininmyjaws;anagueinthem,Ibelieve.Butmypoordearwillnotbesatisfiedwithanybody'scarebutmine.And,asItoldthee,wehavelosttime.

YoushallseewhataccommodationsIhave,ifyouplease,Sir.ButIdoubtyouaretoolametowalkupstairs.

IcanmakeshifttohobbleupnowIhaverestedalittle.I'lljustlookupontheapartmentmywifeistohave.Anythingmaydofortheservants:andasyouseemtobeagoodsortofgentlewoman,Ishan'tstandforaprice,andwillpaywellbesidesforthetroubleIshallgive.

Sheledtheway;andI,helpingmyselfbythebanisters,madeshifttogetupwithlessfatiguethanIexpectedfromanclessoweak.Butoh!Jack,whatwasSixtustheVth.'sartfuldepressionofhisnaturalpowerstomine,when,asthishalf-deadMontalto,hegapedforthepretendedlyunsoughtpontificate,andthemomenthewaschosenleaptupontheprancingbeast,whichitwasthoughtbytheamazedconclavehewasnotabletomount,withouthelpofchairsandmen?Neverwasthereamorejoyfulheartandlighterheelsthanminejoinedtogether;yetbothdeniedtheirfunctions;theoneflutteringinsecret,readytoburstitsbarsforrelief-fulexpression,theothersobligedtoanhobblingmotion;when,unrestrained,theywould,intheirmaster'simagination,havemountedhimtothelunarworldwithoutthehelpofaladder.

Therewerethreeroomsonafloor:twoofthemhandsome;andthethird,shesaid,stillhandsomer;buttheladywasinit.

Isaw,Isawshewas!forasIhobbledup,cryingoutuponmyweakancles,inthehoarsemumblingvoiceIhadassumed,Ibeheldalittlepieceofherasshejustcastaneye(withthedoora-jar,astheycallit)toobservewhowascomingup;and,seeingsuchanoldclumsyfellow,greatcoatedinweathersowarm,slouchedandmuffledup,shewithdrew,shuttingthedoorwithoutanyemotion.Butitwasnotsowithme;forthoucanstnotimaginehowmyheartdancedtomymouth,attheveryglimpseofher;sothatIwasafraidthethump,thump,thumpingvillain,whichhadsolatelythumpedasmuchtonopurpose,wouldhavechokedme.

Ilikedthelodgingwell;andthemoreasshesaidthethirdroomwasstillhandsomer.Imustsitdown,Madam,[andchosethedarkestpartoftheroom]:Won'tyoutakeaseatyourself?--Nopriceshallpartus--butIwillleavethetermstoyouandmywife,ifyouplease.Andalsowhetherforboardornot.Onlypleasetotakethisforearnest,puttingaguineaintoherhand--andonethingIwillsay;mypoorwifelovesmoney;butisnotanill-naturedwoman.Shewasagreatfortunetome:but,astherealestategoesawayatherdeath,Iwouldfainpreserveherforthatreason,aswellasfortheloveIbearherasanhonestman.Butifshemakes



toocloseabargainwithyou,tellme;and,unknowntoher,Iwillmakeitup.Thisismyconstantway:shelovestohaveherpen'orths;andIwouldnothavehervexedormadeuneasyonanyaccount.

Shesaid,Iwasaveryconsiderategentleman;and,upontheconditionIhadmentioned,shewascontenttoleavethetermstomylady.

But,Madam,cannotabodyjustpeepintotheotherapartment;thatImaybemoreparticulartomywifeinthefurnitureofit?

Theladydesirestobeprivate,Sir--but--andwasgoingtoaskherleave.

Icaughtholdofherarm--However,stay,stay,Madam:itmayn'tbeproper,iftheladylovestobeprivate.Don'tletmeintrudeuponthelady--

Nointrusion,Sir,Idaresay:theladyisgood-humoured.Shewillbesokindastostepdownintotheparlour,Idaresay.Asshestayssolittleawhile,Iamsureshewillnotwishtostandinmyway.

No,Madam,that'strue,ifshebegood-humoured,asyousay--Hasshebeenwithyoulong,Madam?

Shecamebutyesterday,Sir--

IbelieveIjustnowsawtheglimpseofher.Sheseemstobeanelderlylady.

No,Sir!you'remistaken.She'sayounglady;andoneofthehandsomestIeversaw.

Cotso,Ibegherpardon!NotbutthatIshouldhavelikedherthebetter,wereshetostaylonger,ifshehadbeenelderly.Ihaveastrangetaste,Madam,you'llsay;butIreally,formywife'ssake,loveeveryelderlywoman.IndeedIeverthoughtagewastobereverenced,whichmademe(takingthefortuneintothescaletoo,thatIown)makemyaddressestomypresentdear.

Verygoodofyou,Sir,torespectage:weallhopetolivetobeold.

Right,Madam.--Butyousaytheladyisbeautiful.Nowyoumustknow,thatthoughIchoosetoconversewiththeelderly,yetIlovetoseeabeautifulyoungwoman,justasIlovetoseefineflowersinagarden.There'snocastinganeyeuponher,isthere,withouthernotice?Forinthisdress,andthusmuffledupaboutmyjaws,Ishouldnotcaretobeseenanymorethanshe,letherloveprivacyasmuchasshewill.

IwillgoandaskifImayshowagentlemantheapartment,Sir;and,asyouareamarriedgentleman,andnotoveryoung,she'llperhapsmakethelessscruple.

Then,likeme,sheloveselderlyfolksbestperhaps.Butitmaybeshehassufferedbyyoungones.

Ifancyshehas,Sir,orisafraidsheshall.Shedesiredtobeveryprivate;andifbydescriptioninquiredafter,tobedenied.

Thouartatruewoman,goodyMoore,thoughtI.

Goodlack--goodlack!--Whatmaybeherstorythen,Ipray?



Sheisprettyreservedinherstory:but,totellyoumythoughts,Ibelieveloveisinthecase:sheisalwaysintears,anddoesnotmuchcareforcompany.

Nay,Madam,itbecomesnotmetodiveintoladies'secrets;Iwantnottopryintootherpeople'saffairs.But,pray,howdoessheemployherself?--Yetshecamebutyesterday;soyoucan'ttell.

Writingcontinually,Sir.

Thesewomen,Jack,whenyouaskthemquestionsbywayofinformation,don'tcaretobeignorantofanything.

Nay,excuseme,Madam,Iamveryfarfrombeinganinquisitiveman.Butifhercasebedifficult,andnotmerelylove,assheisafriendofyour's,Iwouldgivehermyadvice.

Thenyouarealawyer,Sir--

Why,indeed,Madam,Iwassometimeatthebar;butIhavelongleftpractice;yetammuchconsultedbymyfriendsindifficultpoints.InapaupercaseIfrequentlygivemoney;butnevertakeanyfromtherichest.

Youareaverygoodgentleman,then,Sir.Ay,Madam,wecannotlivealwayshere;andweoughttodowhatgoodwecan--butIhatetoappearofficious.Iftheladystayanytime,andthinkfit,uponbetteracquaintance,toletmeintohercase,itmaybeahappydayforher,ifIfinditajustone;for,youmustknow,thatwhenIwasatthebar,Ineverwassuchasadfellowastoundertake,forthesakeofapaltryfee,tomakewhiteblack,andblackwhite:Forwhatwouldthathavebeen,buttoendeavourtoestablishiniquitybyquirks,whileIrobbedtheinnocent?

Youareanexcellentgentleman,Sir:Iwish[andthenshesighed]Ihadhadthehappinesstoknowtherewassuchalawyerintheworld;andto

havebeenacquaintedwithhim.

Come,come,Mrs.Moore,Ithinkyournameis,itmaynotbetoolate--whenyouandIarebetteracquainted,Imayhelpyouperhaps.--Butmentionnothingofthistothelady:for,asIsaid,Ihatetoappearofficious.

Thisprohibition,Iknew,ifgoodyMooreansweredthespecimenshehadgivenofherwomanhood,wouldmakehertakethefirstopportunitytotell,wereittobenecessarytomypurposethatsheshould.

Iappeared,uponthewhole,soindifferentaboutseeingtheroom,orthelady,thatthegoodwomanwasthemoreeagerIshouldseeboth.Andthe

rather,asI,tostimulateher,declared,thattherewasmorerequiredinmyeyetomeritthecharacterofahandsomewoman,thanmostpeoplethoughtnecessary;andthatIhadneverseensixtrulylovelywomeninmylife.

Tobebrief,shewentin;andafteralittlewhilecameoutagain.Thelady,Sir,isretiredtohercloset.Soyoumaygoinandlookattheroom.

Thenhowmyheartbeganagaintoplayitspug'stricks!



Ihobbledin,andstumpedabout,andlikeditverymuch;andwassuremywifewould.Ibeggedexcuseforsittingdown,andasked,whowastheministeroftheplace?Ifhewereagoodpreacher?WhopreachedattheChapel?Andifhewereagoodpreacher,andagoodlivertoo,Madam--Imustinquireafterthat:forIlove,butImustneedssay,thattheclergyshouldpractisewhattheypreach.

Veryright,Sir;butthatisnotsooftenthecaseasweretobewished.

More'sthepity,Madam.ButIhaveagreatvenerationfortheclergyingeneral.Itismoreasatireuponhumannaturethanuponthecloth,ifwesupposethosewhohavethebestopportunitiestodogood,lessperfectthanotherpeople.Formypart,Idon'tloveprofessionalanymorethannationalreflections.--ButIkeeptheladyinhercloset.Mygoutmakesmerude.

ThenupfrommyseatstumpedI--whatdoyoucallthesewindow-curtains,Madam?

Stuff-damask,Sir.

Itlooksmightywell,truly.Ilikeitbetterthansilk.Itiswarmertobesure,andmuchfitterforlodgingsinthecountry;especiallyfor

peopleinyears.Thebedisinaprettystate.Itisneatandclean,Sir:that'sallwepretendto.

Ay,mightywell--verywell--asilkcamblet,Ithink--verywell,truly!--Iamsuremywifewilllikeit.Butwewouldnotturntheladyoutofherlodgingsfortheworld.Theothertwoapartmentswilldoforusatpresent.

Thenstumpingtowardsthecloset,overthedoorofwhichhungapicture--Whatpictureisthat--Oh!Isee;aSt.Cecilia!

Acommonprint,Sir!

Prettywell,prettywell!ItisafteranItalianmaster.--Iwouldnotfortheworldturntheladyoutofherapartment.Wecanmakeshiftwiththeothertwo,repeatedI,louderstill:butyetmumblinglyhoarse:forIhadasgreatregardtouniformityinaccent,astomywords.

OBelford!tobesonearmyangel,thinkwhatapainfulconstraintIwasunder.

Iwasresolvedtofetchherout,ifpossible:andpretendingtobegoing--youcan'tagreeastoanytime,Mrs.Moore,whenwecanhavethisthirdroom,canyou?--Notthat[whisperedI,loudenoughtobeheardinthenextroom;notthat]Iwouldincommodethelady:butIwouldtellmy

wifewhenabouts--andwomen,youknow,Mrs.Moore,lovetohaveeverythingbeforethemofthisnature.

Mrs.Moore(saidmycharmer)[andneverdidhervoicesoundsoharmonioustome:Oh!howmyheartboundedagain!Iteventalkedtome,inamanner;forIthoughtIheard,aswellasfelt,itsunrulyflutters;andeveryveinaboutmeseemedapulse;Mrs.Moore]youmayacquaintthegentleman,thatIshallstayhereonlyfortwoorthreedaysatmost,tillIreceiveananswertoaletterIhavewrittenintothecountry;andratherthanbeyourhindrance,Iwilltakeupwithanyapartmentapair



ofstairshigher.

Notfortheworld!--Notfortheworld,younglady!criedI.--Mywife,asIloveher,shouldlieinagarret,ratherthanputsuchaconsiderateyounglady,asyouseemtobe,totheleastinconveniency.

Sheopenednotthedooryet;andIsaid,butsinceyouhavesomuchgoodness,Madam,ifIcouldbutjustlookintotheclosetasIstand,Icouldtellmywifewhetheritislargeenoughtoholdacabinetshemuchvalues,andillhavewithherwherevershegoes.

Thenmycharmeropenedthedoor,andblazeduponme,asitwere,inafloodoflight,likewhatonemightimaginewouldstrikeaman,who,bornblind,hadbysomepropitiouspowerbeenblessedwithhissight,allatonce,inameridiansun.

Uponmysoul,Ineverwassostrangelyaffectedbefore.Ihadmuchadotoforbeardiscoveringmyselfthatinstant:but,hesitatingly,andingreatdisorder,Isaid,lookingintotheclosetandaroundit,thereisroom,Isee,formywife'scabinet;andithasmanyjewelsinitofhighprice;but,uponmysoul,[forIcouldnotforbearswearing,likeapuppy:habitisacursedthing,Jack--]nothingsovaluableasaladyIsee,canbebroughtintoit.

Shestarted,andlookedatmewithterror.Thetruthofthecompliment,asfarasIknow,hadtakendissimulationfrommyaccent.

Isawitwasimpossibletoconcealmyselflongerfromher,anymorethan(fromtheviolentimpulsesofmypassion)toforbearmanifestingmyself.Iunbuttonedthereforemycape,Ipulledoffmyflaptslouchedhat;Ithrewopenmygreatcoat,and,likethedevilinMilton[anoddcomparisonthough!]--

Istartedupinmyownformdivine,Touch'dbythebeamofhercelestialeye,MorepotentthanIthuriel'sspear!--

Now,Belford,forasimilitude--nowforalikenesstoillustratethesurprisingscene,andtheeffectithaduponmycharmer,andthegentlewoman!--Butnothingwaslikeit,orequaltoit.Theplainfactcanonlydescribeit,andsetitoff--thusthentakeit.

Shenosoonersawwhoitwas,thanshegavethreeviolentscreams;and,beforeIcouldcatchherinmyarms,(asIwasabouttodothemomentIdiscoveredmyself,)downshesunkatmyfeetinafit;whichmademecursemyindiscretionforsosuddenly,andwithsomuchemotion,revealingmyself.

Thegentlewoman,seeingsostrangeanalterationinmyperson,andfeatures,andvoice,anddress,criedout,Murder,help!murder,help!by

turns,forhalfadozentimesrunning.Thisalarmedthehouse,anduprantwoservantmaids,andmyservantafterthem.Icriedoutforwaterandhartshorn,andeveryoneflewadifferentway,oneofthemaidsasfastdownasshecameup;whilethegentlewomanranoutofoneroomintoanother,andbyturnsupanddowntheapartmentwewerein,withoutmeaningorend,wringingherfoolishhands,andnotknowingwhatshedid.

Upthencamerunningagentlemanandhissister,fetched,andbroughtinbythemaid,whohadrundown,andhavingletinacursedcrabbedoldwretch,hobblingwithhisgout,andmumblingwithhishoarse



broken-toothedvoice,whowasmetamorphosedallatonceintoalively,gayyoungfellow,withaclearaccent,andallhisteeth,shewouldhaveit,thatIwasneithermorenorlessthanthedevil,andcouldnotkeephereyefrommyfoot,expecting,nodoubt,everyminutetoseeitdiscoveritselftobecloven.

Formypart,Iwassointentuponrestoringmyangel,thatIregardednobodyelse.And,atlast,sheslowlyrecoveringmotion,withbittersighsandsobs,(onlythewhitesofhereyeshoweverappearingforsomemoments,)Icalleduponherinthetenderestaccent,asIkneeledbyher,myarmsupportingherhead,Myangel!mycharmer!myClarissa!lookuponme,mydearestlife!--Iamnotangrywithyou;Iwillforgiveyou,mybestbeloved.

Thegentlemanandhissisterknewnotwhattomakeofallthis:andtheless,whenmyfair-one,recoveringhersight,snatchedanotherlookatme;andthenagaingroaned,andfaintedaway.

Ithrewupthecloset-sashforair,andthenlefthertothecareoftheyounggentlewoman,thesamenotableMissRawlins,whoIhadheardofattheFlask:andtothatofMrs.Moore;whobythistimehadrecoveredherself;andthenretiringtoonecorneroftheroom,Imademyservantpulloffmygoutystockings,brushmyhat,andloopitupintotheusualsmartcock.

IthenstepttotheclosettoMr.Rawlins,whom,inthegeneralconfusion,Ihadnotmuchmindedbefore.--Sir,saidI,youhaveanuncommonscenebeforeyou.Theladyismywife,andnogentleman'spresenceisnecessaryherebutmyown.

Ibegpardon,Sir;iftheladybeyourwife,Ihavenobusinesshere.But,Sir,byherconcernatseeingyou--

Pray,Sir,noneofyourif'sandbut's,Ibeseechyou:noryourconcernaboutthelady'sconcern.Youareaveryunqualifiedjudgeinthiscause;andIbegofyou,Sir,toobligemewithyourabsence.Thewomenonlyarepropertobepresentonthisoccasion,addedI;andIthink

myselfobligedtothemfortheircareandkindassistance.

'Tiswellhemadenotanotherword:forIfoundmycholerbegintorise.Icouldnotbear,thatthefinestneck,andarms,andfoot,intheworld,shouldbeexposedtotheeyesofanymanlivingbutmine.

Iwithdrewoncemorefromthecloset,findingherbeginningtorecover,lestthesightofmetoosoonshouldthrowherbackagain.

Thefirstwordsshesaid,lookingroundherwithgreatemotion,were,Oh!hideme,hideme!Ishegone?--Oh!hideme!--Ishegone?

Sir,saidMissRawlins,comingtomewithanairbothperemptoryand

assured,Thisissomesurprisingcase.Theladycannotbearthesightofyou.Whatyouhavedoneisbestknowntoyourself.Butanothersuchfitwillprobablybeherlast.Itwouldbebutkindthereforeforyoutoretire.

Itbehovedmetohavesonotableapersonofmyparty;andtheratherasIhaddisobligedherimpertinentbrother.

Thedearcreature,saidI,maywell,beconcernedtoseeme.Ifyou,Madam,hadahusbandwholovedyouasIloveher,youwouldnot,Iam



confident,flyfromhim,andexposeyourselftohazards,asshedoeswhenevershehasnotallherway--andyetwithamindnotcapableofintentionalevil--butmother-spoilt!--Thisisherfault,andallherfault:andthemoreinexcusableitis,asIamthemanofherchoice,andhavereasontothinkshelovesmeaboveallthemenintheworld.

Here,Jack,wasastorytosupporttothelady;facetofacetoo!*

*Andhere,Belford,lestthou,throughinattention,shouldbesurprisedatmyassurance,letmeremindthee(andthat,thus,bywayofmarginalobservation,thatImaynotbreakinuponmynarrative)thatthismyintrepidityconcerted(asIhavefromtimetotimeacquaintedthee)inapprehensionofsuchaneventashasfallenout.Forhadnotthedearcreaturealreadypassedformywifebeforenolessthanfourworthygentlemenoffamilyandfortune?**andbeforeMrs.Sinclair,andherhousehold,andMissPartington?Andhadshenotagreedtoheruncle'sexpedient,thatsheshouldpassforsuch,fromthetimeofMr.Hickman'sapplicationtothatuncle;***andthattheworthyCapt.Tomlinsonshouldbeallowedtopropagatethatbelief:ashehadactuallyreportedtotwofamilies(theypossiblytomore);purposelythatitmightcometotheearsofJamesHarlowe;andserveforafoundationforuncleJohntobuildhisreconciliation-schemeupon?âAndcanstthouthinkthatnothingwasmeantbyallthiscontrivance?andthatIamnotstillfurtherprepared

tosupportmystory?**SeeVol.IV.LetterIV.towardstheconclusion.***Ibid.LetterXVI.âIbid.

Indeed,Ilittlethought,atthetimethatIformedtheseprecautionaryschemes,thatshewouldeverhavebeenable,ifwilling,togetoutofmyhands.AllthatIhopedIshouldhaveoccasiontohaverecoursetothemfor,wasonly,incaseIshouldhavethecouragetomakethegrandattempt,andshouldsucceedinit,tobringthedearcreature[andthisoutoftendernesstoher,forwhatattentiondidIeveryetpaytothegrief,theexecrations,thetearsofawomanIhadtriumphedover?]to

bearmeinhersight:toexpostulatewithme,tobepacifiedbymypleas,andbymyownfuturehopes,foundeduponthereconciliatory-project,uponmyreiteratedvows,andupontheCaptain'sassurances.Sinceinthatcase,toforgiveme,tohavegoneonwithme,foraweek,wouldhavebeentoforgiveme,tohavegoneonwithme,forever.Andthat,hadmyeligiblelifeofhonourtakenplace,hertrialswouldallhavebeenthenover:andshewouldhaveknownnothingbutgratitude,love,andjoy,totheendofoneofourlives.ForneverwouldI,nevercouldI,haveabandonedsuchanadmirablecreatureasthis.ThouknowestIneverwasasordidvillaintoanyofherinferiors--Herinferiors,Imaysay--Forwhoisnotherinferior?

Youspeaklikeagentleman;youlooklikeagentleman,saidMissRawlins--but,Sir,thisisastrangecase;theladyseestodreadthesightofyou.

Nowonder,Madam;takingheralittleononeside,nearertoMrs.Moore.Ihavethreetimesalreadyforgiventhedearcreature--butthisisjealousy!--Thereisaspiceofthatinit--andofphrensytoo[whisperedI,thatitmighthavethefaceofasecret,andofconsequencethemoreengagetheirattention]--butourstoryistoolong.



Ithenmadeamotiontogotomybeloved.ButtheydesiredthatIwouldwalkintothenextroom;andtheywouldendeavourtoprevailuponhertoliedown.

Ibeggedthattheywouldnotsufferhertotalk;forthatshewasaccustomedtofits,and,wheninthisway,wouldtalkofanythingthatcameuppermost:andthemoreshewassufferedtorunon,theworseshewas;andifnotkeptquiet,wouldfallintoravings:whichmightpossiblyholdheraweek.

Thepromisedtokeepherquiet;andIwithdrewintothenextroom;orderingeveryonedownbutMrs.MooreandMissRawlins.

Shewasfullofexclamations!Unhappycreature!miserable!ruined!andundone!shecalledherself;wrungherhands,andbeggedtheywouldassisthertoescapefromtheterribleevilssheshouldotherwisebemadetosuffer.

Theypreachedpatienceandquietnesstoher;andwouldhavehadhertoliedown:butsherefused;sinking,however,intoaneasychair;forshetrembledsoshecouldnotstand.

Bythistime,Ihoped,thatshewasenoughrecoveredtobearapresencethatitbehovedmetomakeherbear;andfearingshewouldthrowout

somethinginherexclamations,thatwouldstillmoredisconcertme,Iwentintotheroomagain.

Othereheis!saidshe,andthrewherapronoverherface--Icannotseehim!--Icannotlookuponhim!--Begone,begone!touchmenot!--

ForItookherstrugglinghand,beseechinghertobepacified;andassuringher,thatIwouldmakeallupwithheruponherowntermsandwishes.

Baseman!saidtheviolentlady,Ihavenowishes,butnevertobeholdyoumore!WhymustIbethuspursuedandhaunted?Haveyounotmadememiserableenoughalready?--Despoiledofallsuccourandhelp,andof

everyfriend,Iamcontentedtobepoor,low,andmiserable,soImaylivefreefromyourpersecutions.

MissRawlinsstaredatme[aconfidentslutthisMissRawlins,thoughtI]:sodidMrs.Moore.Itoldyouso!whisperingsaidI,turningtothewomen;shakingmyheadwithafaceofgreatconcernandpity;andthentomycharmer,Mydearcreature,howyourave!Youwillnoteasilyrecoverfromtheeffectsofthisviolence.Havepatience,mylove.Bepacified;andwewillcoollytalkthismatterover:foryouexposeyourself,aswellasme:theseladieswillcertainlythinkyouhavefallenamongrobbers,andthatIamthechiefofthem.

Soyouare!soyouare!stamping,herfacestillcovered[shethoughtof

Wednesdaynight,nodoubt];and,sighingasifherheartwerebreaking,sheputherhandtoherforehead--Ishallbequitedistracted!

Iwillnot,mydearestlove,uncoveryourface.Youshallnotlookuponme,sinceIamsoodioustoyou.ButthisisaviolenceIneverthoughtyoucapableof.

AndIwouldhavepressedherhand,asIheldit,withmylips;butshedrewitfrommewithindignation.



Unhandme,Sir,saidshe.Iwillnotbetouchedbyyou.Leavemetomyfate.Whatright,whattitle,haveyoutopersecutemethus?

Whatright,whattitle,mydear!--Butthisisnotatime--IhavealetterfromCaptainTomlinson--hereitis--offeringittoher--

Iwillreceivenothingfromyourhands--tellmenotofCaptainTomlinson--tellmenotofanybody--youhavenorighttoinvademethus--oncemoreleavemetomyfate--haveyounotmadememiserableenough?

Itouchedadelicatestring,onpurposetosetherinsuchapassionbeforethewomen,asmightconfirmtheintimationIhadgivenofaphrensicaldisorder.

Whataturnishere!--Latelysohappy--nothingwantingbutareconciliationbetweenyouandyourfriends!--Thatreconciliationinsuchahappytrain--shallsoslight,soaccidentalanoccasionbesufferedtooverturnallourhappiness?

Shestartedupwithatremblingimpatience,herapronfallingfromherindignantface--now,saidshe,thatthoudaresttocalltheoccasionslightandaccidental,andthatIamhappilyoutofthyvilehands,andoutofahouseIhavereasontobelieveasvile,traitorandwretchasthouart,Iwillventuretocastaneyeuponthee--andOh!thatitwere

inmypower,inmercytomysex,tolooktheefirstintoshameandremorse,andthenintodeath!

Thisviolenttragedy-speech,andthehighmannerinwhichsheutteredit,haditsdesiredeffect.Ilookeduponthewomen,anduponherbyturns,withapityingeye;andtheyshooktheirwiseheads,andbesoughtmetoretire,andhertoliedowntocomposeherself.

Thishurricane,likeotherhurricanes,waspresentlyallayedbyashower.Shethrewherselfoncemoreintoherarmedchair,andbeggedpardonofthewomenforherpassionateexcess;butnotofme:yetIwasinhopes,thatwhencomplimentswerestirring,Ishouldhavecomeinforashare.

Indeed,Ladies,saidI,[withassuranceenough,thou'ltsay,]thisviolenceisnotnaturaltomybeloved'stemper--misapprehension--

Misapprehension,wretch!--AndwantIexcusesfromthee!

Buwhatascornwaseverylovelyfeatureagitated!

Thenturningherfacefromme,Ihavenotpatience,Othouguilefulbetrayer,tolookuponthee!Begone!Begone!Withafacesounblushing,howdarestthouappearinmypresence?

Ithoughtthen,thatthecharacterofahusbandobligedmetobeangry.

Youmayoneday,Madam,repentthistreatment:--bymysoul,youmay.YouknowIhavenotdeserveditofyou--youknow--Ihavenot.

DoIknowyouhavenot?--Wretch!DoIknow--

Youdo,Madam--andneverdidmanofmyfigureandconsideration,[Ithoughtitwaspropertothrowthatin]meetwithsuchtreatment--

Sheliftedupherhands:indignationkepthersilent.



Butallisofapiecewiththechargeyoubringagainstmeofdespoilingyouofallsuccourandhelp,ofmakingyoupoorandlow,andwithotherunprecedentedlanguage.Iwillonlysay,beforethesetwogentlewomen,thatsinceitmustbeso,andsinceyourformeresteemformeisturnedintosorivetedanaversion,Iwillsoon,verysoon,makeyouentirelyeasy.Iwillbegone:--Iwillleaveyoutoyourownfate,asyoucallit;andmaythatbehappy!--Only,thatImaynotappeartobeaspoiler,arobberindeed,letmeknowwhitherIshallsendyourapparel,andeverythingthatbelongstoyou,andIwillsendit.

Sendittothisplace;andassureme,thatyouwillnevermolestmemore;nevermorecomenearme;andthatisallIaskofyou.

Iwilldoso,Madam,saidI,withadejectedair.ButdidIeverthinkIshouldbesoindifferenttoyou?--However,youmustpermitmetoinsistonyourreadingthisletter;andonyourseeingCaptainTomlinson,andhearingwhathehastosayfromyouruncle.Hewillbehereby-and-by.

Don'ttriflewithme,saidsheinanimperioustone--doasyouoffer.Iwillnotreceiveanyletterfromyourhands.IfIseeCaptainTomlinson,itshallbeonhisownaccount,notonyour's.Youtellmeyouwillsendmemyapparel--ifyouwouldhavemebelieveanythingyousay,letthisbethetestofyoursincerity.--Leavemenow,andsendmythings.

Thewomenstarted.--Theydidnothingbutstare;andappearedtobemoreandmoreatalosswhattomakeofthematterbetweenus.

Ipretendedtobegoingfromherinapet;but,whenIhadgottothedoor,Iturnedback;and,asifIhadrecollectedmyself--Onewordmore,mydearestcreature!--Charming,eveninyouranger!--Omyfondsoul!saidI,turninghalfround,andpullingoutmyhandkerchief.--

Ibelieve,Jack,myeyesdidglistenalittle.Ihavenodoubtbuttheydid.Thewomenpitiedme--honestsouls!TheyshowedtheyhadeachofthemahandkerchiefaswellasI.So,hasthounotobserved(togiveafamiliarillustration,)everymaninacompanyofadozen,ormore,obliginglypullouthiswatch,whensomeonehasaskedwhat'so'clock?--

Aseachmanofalikenumber,ifonetalksofhisbeard,willfalltostrokinghischinwithhisfourfingersandthumb.

Onewordonly,Madam,repeatedI,(assoonasmyvoicehadrecovereditstone,)IhaverepresentedtoCaptainTomlinsoninthemostfavourablelightthecauseofourpresentmisunderstanding.Youknowwhatyouruncleinsistsupon,andwithwhichyouhaveacquiesced.--Theletterinmyhand,[andagainIofferedittoher,]willacquaintyouwithwhatyouhavetoapprehendfromyourbrother'sactivemalice.

Shewasgoingtospeakinahighaccent,puttingtheletterfromher,withanopenpalm--Nay,hearmeout,Madam--TheCaptain,youknow,hasreportedourmarriagetotwodifferentpersons.Itiscometoyour

brother'sears.Myownrelationshavealsoheardofit.--Letterswerebroughtmefromtownthismorning,fromLadyBettyLawrance,andMissMontague.Heretheyare.[Ipulledthemoutofmypocket,andofferedthemtoher,withthatoftheCaptain;butsheheldbackherstillopenpalm,thatshemightnotreceivethem.]Reflect,Madam,Ibeseechyou,reflectuponthefatalconsequenceswithwhichthis,yourhighresentment,maybeattended.

EversinceIknewyou,saidshe,Ihavebeeninawildernessofdoubtanderror.IblessGodthatIamoutofyourhands.Iwilltransactfor



myselfwhatrelatestomyself.Idismissallyoursolicitudeforme.--AmInotmyownmistress?--Haveyouanytitle?--

Thewomenstared--[thedevilstareye,thoughtI!--Canyedonothingbutstare?]--Itwashightimetostopherhere.

Iraisedmyvoicetodrownher's.--Youused,mydearestcreature,tohaveatenderandapprehensiveheart.--Youneverhadsomuchreasonforsuchaoneasnow.

Letmejudgeformyself,uponwhatIshallsee,notuponwhatIshallhear.--DoyouthinkIshallever?--

Idreadedhergoingon--Imustbeheard,Madam,(raisingmyvoicestillhigher,)--youmustletmereadoneparagraphortwooutofthislettertoyou,ifyouwillnotreadityourself--

Begonefromme,Man!--Begonefrommewiththyletters!Whatpretencehastthoufortormentingmethus?Whatright?--Whattitle?--

Dearestcreature!whatquestionsyouask!--Questionsthatyoucanaswellansweryourself--

Ican,Iwill,andthusIanswerthem--

StilllouderIraisedmyvoice.--Shewasoverborne.--Sweetsoul!Itwouldbehard,thoughtI,[andyetIwasveryangrywithher,]ifsuchaspiritasthinecannotbebroughttoyieldtosuchaoneasmine!

Iloweredmyvoiceonhersilence.Allgentle,allintreative,myaccent.Myheadbowed--onehandheldout--theotheronmyhonestheart.--Forheaven'ssake,mydearestcreature,resolvetoseeCaptainTomlinsonwithtemper.Hewouldhavecomealongwithme,butIwaswillingtotrytosoftenyourmindfirstonthisfatalmisapprehension,andthisforthesameofyourownwishes.Forwhatisitotherwisetome,whetheryourfriendsare,orarenot,reconciledtous?--DoIwantanyfavourfromthem?--Foryourownmind'ssake,therefore,frustratenot

CaptainTomlinson'snegociation.Thatworthygentlemanwillbehereintheafternoon;LadyBettywillbeintown,withmycousinMontague,inadayortwo.--Theywillbeyourvisiters.Ibeseechyoudonotcarrythismisunderstandingsofar,asthatLordM.andLadyBetty,andLadySarah,mayknowit.[Howconsiderablethismademelooktothewomen!]LadyBettywillnotletyouresttillyouconsenttoaccompanyhertoherownseat--andtothatladymayyousafelyintrustyourcause.

Again,uponmypausingamoment,shewasgoingtobreakout.Ilikednottheturnofhercountenance,northetoneofhervoice--'Andthinkestthou,basewretch,'werethewordsshedidutter:Iagainraisedmyvoice,anddrownedher's.--Basewretch,Madam?--YouknowthatIhavenotdeservedtheviolentnamesyouhavecalledme.Wordssoopprobriousfrom

amindsogentle!--Butthistreatmentisfromyou,Madam?--Fromyou,whomIlovemorethanmyownsoul!--Bythatsoul,IswearthatIdo.--[Thewomenlookeduponeachother--theyseemedpleasedwithmyardour.--Women,whetherwives,maids,orwidows,loveardours:evenMissHowe,thouknowest,speaksupforardours,*]--Nevertheless,Imustsay,thatyouhavecarriedmatterstoofarfortheoccasion.Iseeyouhateme--

*SeeVol.IV.LettersXXIX.andXXXIV.



Shewasjustgoingtospeak--Ifwearetoseparateforever,inastrongandsolemnvoice,proceededI,thisislandshallnotlongbetroubledwithme.Meantime,onlybepleasedtogivetheselettersaperusal,andconsiderwhatistobesaidtoyouruncle'sfriend,andwhatheistosaytoyouruncle.--AnythingwillIcomeinto,(renounceme,ifyouwill,)thatshallmakeforyourpeace,andforthereconciliationyourheartwassolatelysetupon.ButIhumblyconceive,thatitisnecessarythatyoushouldcomeintobettertemperwithme,wereitbuttogiveafavourableappearancetowhathaspassed,andweighttoanyfutureapplicationtoyourfriends,inwhateverwayyoushallthinkpropertomakeit.

Ithenputthelettersintoherlap,andretiredintothenextapartmentwithalowbow,andaverysolemnair.

Iwassoonfollowedbythetwowomen.Mrs.Moorewithdrewtogivethefairperversetimetoreadthem:MissRawlinsforthesamereason,andbecauseshewassentforhome.

Thewidowbesoughtherspeedyreturn.Ijoinedinthesamerequest;andshewasreadyenoughtopromisetoobligeus.

IexcusedmyselftoMrs.MooreforthedisguiseIhadappearedinatfirst,andforthestoryIhadinvented.ItoldherthatIheldmyself

obligedtosatisfyherforthewholefloorwewereupon;andforanupperroomformyservant,andthatforamonthcertain.

Shemademanyscruples,andbeggedshemightnotbeurged,onthishead,tillshehadconsultedMissRawlins.

Iconsented;buttoldher,thatshehadtakenmyearnest,andIhopedtherewasnoroomfordispute.

JustthenMissRawlinsreturned,withanairofeagercuriosity;andhavingbeentoldwhathadpassedbetweenMrs.Mooreandme,shegaveherselfairsofofficeimmediately:whichIhumoured,plainlyperceivingthatifIhadherwithmeIhadtheother.

Shewished,ifthereweretimeforit,andifitwerenotquiteimpertinentinhertodesireit,thatIwouldgiveMrs.Mooreandherabriefhistoryofanaffair,which,asshesaid,borethefaceofnovelty,mystery,andsurprise.Forsometimesitlookedtoherasifweweremarried;atothertimesthatpointappeareddoubtful;andyettheladydidnotabsolutelydenyit,but,uponthewhole,thoughtherselfhighlyinjured.

Isaidthatour'swasaveryparticularcase.--That,wereItoacquaintthemwithit,somepartofitwouldhardlyappearcredible.But,however,astheyseemedhardlytobepersonsofdiscretion,Iwouldgivethemabriefaccountofthewhole;andthisinsoplainandsincerea

manner,thatitshouldclearup,totheirsatisfaction,everythingthathadpassed,ormighthereafterpassbetweenus.

Theysatdownbymeandthreweveryfeatureoftheirfacesintoattention.Iwasresolvedtogoasnearthetruthaspossible,lestanythingshoulddropfrommyspousetoimpeachmyveracity;andyetkeepinviewwhatpassedattheFlask.

Itisnecessary,althoughthouknowestmywholestory,andagooddealofmyviews,thatthoushouldstbeapprizedofthesubstanceofwhatItold



them.

'Igavethem,inasconciseamannerasIwasable,thishistoryofourfamilies,fortunes,alliances,antipathies,herbrother'sandmineparticularly.Iaverredthetruthofourprivatemarriage.'TheCaptain'sletter,whichIwillenclose,willgivetheemyreasonsforthat.And,besides,thewomenmighthaveproposedaparsontomebywayofcompromise.'Itoldthemtheconditionmyspousehadmademeswearto;andtowhichsheheldme,inorder,Isaid,toinducemethesoonertobereconciledtoherrelations.

'Iowned,thatthisrestraintmademesometimesreadytoflyout.'AndMrs.Moorewassogoodastodeclare,thatshedidnotmuchwonderatit.

Thouartaverygoodsortofwoman,Mrs.Moore,thoughtI.

AsMissHowehasactuallydetectedourmother,andmightpossiblyfindsomewaystilltoacquaintherfriendwithherdiscoveries,IthoughtitpropertoprepossesstheminfavourofMrs.Sinclairandhertwonieces.

Isaid,'theyweregentlewomenborn;thattheyhadnotbadhearts;thatindeedmyspousedidnotlovethem;theyhavingoncetakenthelibertytoblameherforherover-nicenesswithregardtome.People,Isaid,evengoodpeople,whoknewthemselvestobeguiltyofafaulttheyhadno

inclinationtomend,weretoooftenleastpatientwhentoldofit;astheycouldlessbearthanotherstobethoughtindifferentlyof.'

Toooftenthecase,theyowned.

'Mrs.Sinclair'shousewasaveryhandsomehouse,andfittoreceivethefirstquality,[trueenough,Jack!]Mrs.Sinclairwasawomanveryeasyinhercircumstances:--Awidowgentlewoman,asyou,Mrs.Moore,are.--Letslodgings,asyou,Mrs.Moore,do.--Oncehadbetterprospectsasyou,Mrs.Moore,mayhavehad:therelictofColonelSinclair;--you,Mrs.Moore,mightknowColonelSinclair--hehadlodgingsatHampstead.'

Shehadheardofthename.

'Oh!hewasrelatedtothebestfamiliesinScotland!--Andhiswidowisnottobereflecteduponbecausesheletslodgingsyouknow,Mrs.Moore--youknow,MissRawlins.'

Verytrue,andverytrue.--Andtheymustneedssay,itdidnotlookquitesopretty,insuchaladyasmyspouse,tobesocensorious.

Afoundationhere,thoughtI,toprocurethesewomen'shelptogetbackthefugitive,ortheirconnivance,atleast,atmydoingso;aswellasforanticipatinganyfutureinformationfromMissHowe.

Igavethemacharacterofthatvirago;andintimated,'thatforahead

tocontrivemischief,andahearttoexecuteit,shehadhardlyherequalinhersex.'

TothisMissHoweitwas,Mrs.Mooresaid,shesupposed,thatmyspousewassodesiroustodispatchamanandhorse,byday-dawn,withalettershewrotebeforeshewenttobedlastnight,proposingtostaynolongerthantillshehadreceivedananswertoit.

Theverysame,saidI;Iknewshewouldhaveimmediaterecoursetoher.Ishouldhavebeenbuttoohappy,couldIhavepreventedsuchaletter



frompassing,orsotohaveitmanaged,astohaveitgivenintoMrs.Howe'shands,insteadofherdaughter's.Womenwhohadlivedsometimeintheworldknewbetter,thantoencouragesuchskittishpranksinyoungwives.

Letmejuststoptotellthee,whileitisinmyhead,thatIhavesincegivenWill.hiscuetofindoutwherethemanliveswhoisgonewiththefairfugitive'sletter;and,ifpossible,toseehimonhisreturn,beforeheseesher.

Itoldthewomen,'IdespairedthatitwouldeverbebetterwithuswhileMissHowehadsostrangeanascendancyovermyspouse,andremainedherselfunmarried.Anduntilthereconciliationwithherfriendscouldbeeffected;orastillhappierevent--asIshouldthinkit,whoamthelastmaleofmyfamily;andwhichmyfoolishvow,andherrigour,hadhitherto'--

HereIstopt,andlookedmodest,turningmydiamondringroundmyfinger;whilegoodyMoorelookedmightysignificant,callingitaveryparticularcase;andthemaidenfannedaway,andprimm'd,andpurs'd,toshowthatwhatIhadsaidneedednofartherexplanantion.

'Itoldthemtheoccasionofourpresentdifference.Iavowedtherealityofthefire;butowned,thatIwouldhavemadenoscrupleof

breakingtheunnaturaloathshehadboundmein,(havingahusband'srightonmyside,)whenshewassoaccidentallyfrightedintomyarms;andIblamedmyselfexcessively,thatIdidnot;sinceshethoughtfittocarryherresentmentsohigh,andhadtheinjusticetosupposethefiretobeacontrivanceofmine.'

Nay,forthatmatter,Mrs.Mooresaid,asweweremarried,andmadamwassoodd--everygentlemanwouldnot--andstoptthereMrs.Moore.

'TosupposeIshouldhaverecoursetosuchapoorcontrivance,saidI,whenIsawthedearcreatureeveryhour.'--Wasnotthisaboldput,Jack?

Amostextraordinarycase,truly,criedthemaiden;fanning,yetcoming

inwithherWell-but's!--andhersiftingPray,Sir's!--andherrestrainingEnough,Sir's.--flyingfromthequestiontothequestion--herseatnow-and-thenuneasy,forfearmywantofdelicacyshouldhurtherabundantmodesty;andyetitwasdifficulttosatisfyhersuper-abundantcuriosity.

'Mybeloved'sjealousy,[andjealousyofitself,tofemaleminds,accountsforathousandunaccountablenesses,]andtheimputationofherhalf-phrensy,broughtuponherbyherfather'swickedcurse,andbythepreviouspersecutionsshehadundergonefromallherfamily,werewhatIdweltupon,inordertoprovideagainstwhatmighthappen.'

Inshort,'IownedagainstmyselfmostoftheoffenceswhichIdidnot

doubtbutshewouldchargemewithintheirhearing;andaseverycausehasablackandwhiteside,Igavetheworstpartsofourstorythegentlestturn.AndwhenIhaddone,acquaintedthemwithsomeofthecontentsofthatletterofCaptainTomlinsonwhichIleftwiththelady.IconcludedwithJamesHarlowe,andofCaptainSingleton,orofanysailor-lookingmen.'

Thisthouwiltsee,fromtheletteritself,wasnecessarytobedone.Here,therefore,thoumayestreadit.Andacharminglettertomypurposewiltthoufindittobe,ifthougivesttheleastattentionto



itscontents.

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.WEDN.JUNE7.

DEARSIR,

AlthoughIamobligedtobeintownto-morrow,ornextdayatfarthest,yetIwouldnotdispensewithwritingtoyou,byoneofmyservants,(whomIsendupbeforeuponaparticularoccasion,)inordertoadvertiseyou,thatitisprobableyouwillhearfromsomeofyourownrelationsonyour[supposed*]nuptials.Oneofthepersons,(Mr.Lilburnebyname,)towhomIhintedmybeliefofyourmarriage,happenstobeacquaintedwithMr.Spurrier,LadyBettyLawrance'ssteward,and(notbeingunderanyrestriction)mentionedittoMr.Spurrier,andhetoLadyBetty,asathingcertain;andthis,(thoughIhavenotthehonourtobepersonallyknowntoherLadyship,)broughtonaninquiryfromherLadyshiptomebyhergentleman;whocomingtomeincompanywithMr.Lilburne,Ihadnowaybuttoconfirmthereport.--AndIunderstand,thatLadyBettytakesitamissthatshewasnotacquaintedwithsodesirableapieceofnewsfromyourself.

*Whatisbetweenhooks[]thoumayestsuppose,Jack,Isunkuponthewomen,intheaccountIgavethemofthecontentsofthisletter.

HerLadyship,itseems,hasbusinessthatcallshertotown[andyouwillpossiblychoosetoputherright.Ifyoudo,itwill,Ipresume,beinconfidence;thatnothingmaytranspirefromyourownfamilytocontradictwhatIhavegivenout.]

[Ihaveeverbeenofopinion,Thattruthoughttobestrictlyadheredtoonalloccasions:andamconcernedthatIhave,(thoughwithsogoodaview,)departedfrommyoldmaxim.ButmydearfriendMr.JohnHarlowewouldhaveitso.YetIneverknewadepartureofthiskindasingle

departure.But,tomakethebestofitnow,allowme,Sir,oncemoretobegthelady,assoonaspossible,toauthenticatethereportgivenout.]Whenbothyouandtheladyjoinintheacknowledgementofyourmarriage,itwillbeimpertinentinanyonetobeinquisitiveastothedayorweek.[Andifasprivatelycelebratedasyouintend,(whilethegentlewomenwithwhomyoulodgeareproperlyinstructed,asyousaytheyare,andwhoshallactuallybelieveyouweremarriedlongago,)whoshallbeabletogiveacontradictiontomyreport?]

Andyetitisveryprobable,thatminuteinquirieswillbemade;andthisiswhatrendersprecautionnecessary;forMr.JamesHarlowewillnotbelievethatyouaremarried;andissure,hesays,thatyoubothlivedtogetherwhenMr.Hickman'sapplicationwasmadetoMr.JohnHarlowe:and

ifyoulivedtogetheranytimeunmarried,heinfersfromyourcharacter,Mr.Lovelace,thatitisnotprobablethatyouwouldevermarry.Andheleavesittohistwounclestodecide,ifyouevenshouldbemarried,whethertherebenotroomtobelieve,thathissisterwasfirstdishonoured;andifso,tojudgeofthetitleshewillhavetotheirfavour,ortotheforgivenessofanyofherfamily.--Ibelieve,Sir,thispartofmyletterhadbestbekeptfromthelady.

YoungMr.Harloweisresolvedtofindthisout,andtocomeathissister'sspeechlikewise:andforthatpurposesetsoutto-morrow,asI



amwellinformed,withalargeattendancearmed;andMr.Solmesistobeoftheparty.Andwhatmakeshimthemoreearnesttofinditoutisthis:--Mr.JohnHarlowehastoldthewholefamilythathewillalter,andnew-settlehiswill.Mr.AntonyHarloweisresolvedtodothesamebyhis;for,itseems,hehasnowgivenoverallthoughtsofchanginghiscondition,havinglatelybeendisappointedinaviewhehadofthatsortwithMrs.Howe.Thesetwobrothersgenerallyactinconcert;andMr.JamesHarlowedreads(andletmetellyou,thathehasreasonforit,onmyMr.Harlowe'saccount)thathisyoungersisterwillbe,atlast,morebenefitedthanhewishesfor,bythealterationintended.HehasalreadybeenendeavouringtosoundhisuncleHarloweonthissubject;andwantedtoknowwhetheranynewapplicationhadbeenmadetohimonhissister'spart.Mr.Harloweavoidedadirectanswer,andexpressedhiswishesforageneralreconciliation,andhishopesthathisnieceweremarried.Thisoffendedthefuriousyoungman,andheremindedhisuncleofengagementstheyhadallenteredintoathissister'sgoingaway,nottobereconciledbutbygeneralconsent.

Mr.JohnHarlowecomplainstomeoftenoftheuncontroulablenessofhisnephew;andsays,thatnowthattheyoungmanhasnotanybodyofwhosesuperiorsensehestandsinawe,heobservesnotdecencyinhisbehaviourtoanyofthem,andthismakesmyMr.Harlowestillmoredesirousthaneverofbringinghisyoungernieceintofavouragain.IwillnotsayallImightofthisyoungman'sextraordinaryrapaciousness:--butonewould

think,thatthesegraspingmenexpecttoliveforever!'Itookthelibertybutwithinthesetwohourstoproposetosetonfoot(andofferedmycoverto)acorrespondencebetweenmyfriendandhisdaughter-niece,asshestillsometimesfondlycallsher.Shewasmistressofsomuchprudence,Isaid,thatIwassureshecouldbetterdirecteverythingtoitsdesirableend,thananybodyelsecould.Buthesaid,hedidnotthinkhimselfentirelyatlibertytotakesuchastepatpresent;andthatitwasbestthatheshouldhaveitinhispowertosay,occasionally,thathehadnotanycorrespondencewithher,orletterfromher.

'Youwillsee,Sir,fromallthis,thenecessityofkeepingourtreatyan

absolutesecret;andiftheladyhasmentionedittoherworthyfriendMissHowe,Ihopeitisinconfidence.'

[Andnow,Sir,afewlinesinanswertoyour'sofMondaylast.]

[Mr.Harlowewasverywellpleasedwithyourreadinesstocomeintohisproposal.Butastowhatyoubothdesire,thathewillbepresentattheceremony,hesaid,thathisnephewwatchedallhisstepssonarrowly,thathethoughtitwasnotpracticable(ifhewereinclinable)toobligeyou:butthatheconsented,withallhisheart,thatIshouldbethepersonwhomhehadstipulatedshouldbeprivatelypresentattheceremonyonhispart.]

[However,Ithink,Ihaveanexpedientforthis,ifyourladycontinuestobeverydesirousofheruncle'spresence(exceptheshouldbemoredeterminedthanhisanswertomeseemedtoimport);ofwhichIshallacquaintyou,andperhapsofwhathesaystoit,whenIhavethepleasuretoseeyouintown.But,indeed,Ithinkyouhavenotimetolose.Mr.Harloweisimpatienttohear,thatyouareactuallyone;andIhopeImaycarryhimdownword,whenIleaveyounext,thatIsawtheceremonyperformed.]

[Ifanyobstaclearisesfromthelady,(fromyouitcannot,)Ishallbe



temptedtothinkalittlehardlyofherpunctilio.]

Mr.Harlowehopes,Sir,thatyouwillrathertakepainstoavoid,thantomeet,thisviolentyoungman.Hehasthebetteropinionofyou,letmetellyou,Sir,fromtheaccountIgavehimofyourmoderationandpoliteness;neitherofwhicharequalitieswithhisnephew.Butwehaveallofussomethingtoamend.

Youcannotimaginehowdearlymyfriendstilllovesthisexcellentnieceofhis.--Iwillgiveyouaninstanceofit,whichaffectedmeagooddeal---'Ifoncemore,saidhe,(thelasttimebutoneweweretogether,)Icanbutseethissweetchildgracingtheupperendofmytable,asmistressofmyhouse,inmyallottedmonth;alltherestofmyfamilypresentbutasherguests;forsoIformerlywouldhaveit;andhadhermother'sconsentforit--'Therehestopt;forhewasforcedtoturnhisreverendfacefromme.Tearsrandownhischeeks.Fainwouldhehavehidthem:buthecouldnot--'Yet--yet,saidhe--how--how--'[poorgentleman,heperfectlysobbed,]'howshallIbeabletobearthefirstmeeting!'

IblessGodIamnohard-heartedman,Mr.Lovelace:myeyesshowedtomyworthyfriend,thathehadnoreasontobeashamedofhishumanitybeforeme.

Iwillputanendtothislongepistle.Bepleasedtomakemycomplimentsacceptabletothemostexcellentofwomen;aswellasbelievemetobe,

DearSir,Yourfaithfulfriend,andhumbleservant,ANTONYTOMLINSON.

***

Duringtheconversationbetweenmeandthewomen,Ihadplantedmyselfat

thefarthestendoftheapartmentwewerein,overagainstthedoor,whichwasopen;andoppositetothelady'schamber-door,whichwasshut.Ispokesolowthatitwasimpossibleforher,atthatdistance,tohearwhatwesaid;andinthissituationIcouldseeifherdoorwasopened.

Itoldthewomen,thatwhatIhadmentionedtomyspouseofLadyBetty'scomingtotownwithhernieceMontague,andoftheirintentiontovisitmybeloved,whomtheyhadneverseen,norshethem,wasreal;andthatIexpectednewsoftheirarrivaleveryhour.Ithenshowedthemcopiesoftheothertwoletters,whichIhadleftwithher;theonefromLadyBetty,theotherfrommycousinMontague.--Andherethoumayestreadthemifthouwilt.

Eternallyreproaching,eternallyupbraidingme,aremyimpertinentrelations.Buttheyarefondofoccasionstofindfaultwithme.Theirlove,theirlove,Jack,andtheirdependenceonmyknowngoodhumour,aretheirinducements.

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.WED.MORN.JUNE7.

DEARNEPHEW,



Iunderstandthatatlengthallourwishesareansweredinyourhappymarriage.ButIthinkwemightaswellhaveheardofitdirectlyfromyou,asfromtheround-aboutwaybywhichwehavebeenmadeacquaintedwithit.Methinks,Sir,thepowerandthewillwehavetoobligeyou,shouldnotexposeusthemoretoyourslightsandnegligence.Mybrotherhadsethisheartupongivingtoyouthewifewehaveallsolongwishedyoutohave.Butifyouwereactuallymarriedatthetimeyoumadehimthatrequest(supposing,perhaps,thathisgoutwouldnotlethimattendyou)itisbutlikeyou.*--Ifyourladyhadherreasonstowishittobeprivatewhilethedifferencesbetweenherfamilyandselfcontinue,youmightneverthelesshavecommunicatedittouswiththatrestriction;andweshouldhaveforbornethepublicmanifestationsofourjoyuponaneventwehavesolongdesired.

*IgaveMrs.MooreandMissRawlinsroomtothinkthisreproachjust,Jack.

Thedistantwaywehavecometoknowitisbymysteward;whoisacquaintedwithafriendofCaptainTomlinson,towhomthatgentlemanrevealedit:andhe,itseems,haditfromyourselfandlady,withsuchcircumstancesasleaveitnottobedoubted.

Iam,indeed,verymuchdisobligedwithyou:soisLadySarah.ButIhaveaveryspeedyopportunitytotellyousoinperson;beingobligedtogototowntomyoldchanceryaffair.MycousinLeeson,whois,itseems,removedtoAlbemarle-street,hasnoticeofit.Ishallbeatherhouse,whereIbespeakyourattendanceofSundaynight.IhavewrittentomycousinCharlotteforeitherher,orhersister,tomeetmeatReading,andaccompanymetotown.Ishallstaybutafewdays;mybusinessbeingmatterofformonly.OnmyreturnIshallpopuponLordM.atM.Hall,toseeinwhatwayhislastfithaslefthim.

Meantime,havingtoldyoumymindonyournegligence,Icannothelpcongratulatingyoubothontheoccasion.--Yourfairladyparticularly,

uponherentranceintoafamilywhichispreparedtoadmireandloveher.

Myprincipalintentionofwritingtoyou(dispensingwiththenecessarypunctilio)is,thatyoumayacquaintmydearnewniece,thatIwillnotbedeniedthehonourofhercompanydownwithmeintoOxfordshire.Iunderstandthatyourproposedhouseandequipagescannotbesoonready.Sheshallbewithmetilltheyare.Iinsistuponit.Thisshallmakeallup.Myhouseshallbeherown.Myservantsandequipagesher's.

LadySarah,whohasnotbeenoutofherownhouseformonths,willobligemewithhercompanyforaweek,inhonourofaniecesodearlybeloved,asIamsureshewillbeofusall.

Beingbutinlodgingsintown,neitheryounoryourladycanrequiremuchpreparation.

SometimeonMondayIhopetoattendthedearyounglady,tomakehermycompliments;andtoreceiveherapologyforyournegligence:which,andhergoingdownwithme,asIsaidbefore,shallbefullsatisfaction.Meantime,Godblessherforhercourage,(tellherIsayso;)andblessyoubothineachother;andthatwillbehappinesstousall--particularlyto



YourtrulyaffectionateAunt,ELIZ.LAWRANCE.

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.

DEARCOUSIN,

Atlast,asweunderstand,thereissomehopeofyou.NowdoesmygoodLordrunoverhisbead-rollofproverbs;ofblackoxen,wildoats,longlanes,andsoforth.

Now,Cousin,sayI,isyourtimecome;andyouwillbenolonger,Ihope,aninfideleithertothepowerorexcellenceofthesexyouhavepretendedhithertosomuchasundervalue;noraridiculerorscofferataninstitutionwhichallsoberpeoplereverence,andallrakes,soonerorlater,arebroughttoreverence,ortowishtheyhad.

Iwanttoseehowyoubecomeyoursilkenfetters:whetherthecharmingyokesitslightuponyourshoulders.Ifwithsuchasweetyoke-fellowitdoesnot,myLord,andmysister,aswellasI,thinkthatyouwilldeserveaclosertieaboutyourneck.

HisLordshipisverymuchdispleased,thatyouhavenotwrittenhimword

oftheday,thehour,themanner,andeverything.ButIaskhim,howhecanalreadyexpectanymarkofdeferenceorpolitenessfromyou?Hemuststay,Itellhim,tillthatsignofreformation,amongothers,appearfromtheinfluenceandexampleofyourlady:butthat,ifeveryouwillbegoodforanything,itwillbequicklyseen.And,OCousin,whatavast,vastjourneyhaveyoutotakefromthedrearylandoflibertinism,throughthebrightprovinceofreformation,intotheserenekingdomofhappiness!--Youhadneedtolosenotime.Youhavemanyawearysteptotread,beforeyoucanovertakethosetravellerswhosetoutforitfromalessremotequarter.Butyouhaveacharmingpole-startoguideyou;that'syouradvantage.Iwishyoujoyofit:andasIhaveneveryetexpectedanyhighlycomplaisantthingfromyou,Imakenoscrupletobeginfirst;butitispurely,Imusttellyou,inrespecttomynew

cousin;whoseaccessionintoourfamilywemostheartilycongratulateandrejoicein.

IhavealetterfromLadyBetty.Shecommandseithermyattendanceormysister'stomycousinLeeson's.SheputsLordM.inhopes,thatsheshallcertainlybringdownwithherourlovelynewrelation;forshesays,shewillnotbedenied.HisLordshipisthewillingertoletmebetheperson,asIaminamannerwildtoseeher;mysisterhavingtwoyearsagohadthathonouratSirRobertBiddulph's.Sogetreadytoaccompanyusinourreturn;exceptyourladyhadobjectionsstrongenoughtosatisfyusall.LadySarahlongstoseeher;andsays,Thisaccessiontothefamilywillsupplytoitthelossofherbeloveddaughter.

Ishallsoon,Ihope,paymycomplimentstothedearladyinperson:sohavenothingtoadd,butthatIam

YouroldmadPlayfellowandCousin,CHARLOTTEMONTAGUE.

***



Thewomenhavingreadthecopiesofthesetwoletters,IthoughtthatImightthenthreatenandswagger--'ButverylittlehearthaveI,saidI,toencouragesuchavisitfromLadyBettyandMissMontaguetomyspouse.Forafterall,Iamtiredoutwithherstrangeways.Sheisnotwhatshewas,and(asItoldherinyourhearing,Ladies)Iwillleavethisplaguyisland,thoughtheplaceofmybirth,andthoughthestakeIhaveinitisveryconsiderable,andgoandresideinFranceorItaly,andneverthinkofmyselfasamarriedman,norlivelikeone.'

Odear!saidone.

Thatwouldbeasadthing!saidtheother.

Nay,Madam,[turningtoMrs.Moore,]--Indeed,Madam,[toMissRawlins,]--Iamquitedesperate.Icannolongerbearsuchusage.Ihavehadthegoodfortunetobefavouredbythesmilesofveryfineladies,thoughIsayit[andIlookedverymodest]bothabroadandathome--[Thouknowestthistobetrue,Jack].Withregardtomyspousehere,Ihavebutonehopeleft,(forastothereconciliationwithherfriends,Ileft,Iscornthemalltoomuchtovaluethat,butforhersake,)andthatwas,thatifitpleasedGodtoblessuswithchildren,shemightentirelyrecoverherusualserenity;andwemightthenbehappy.Butthereconciliationherheartwassomuchsetupon,isnow,asIhintedbefore,entirelyhopeless--madeso,bythisrashstepofher's,andby

therashtempersheisin;since(asyouwillbelieve)herbrotherandsister,whentheycometoknowit,willmakeafinehandleofitagainstusboth;--affecting,astheydoatpresent,todisbelieveourmarriage--andthedearcreatureherselftooreadytocountenancesuchadisbelief--asnothingmorethantheceremony--asnothingmore--hem!--asnothingmorethantheceremony--

Here,asthouwiltperceive,Iwasbashful;forMissRawlins,byherpreparatoryprimness,putmeinmindthatitwaspropertobeso--

Iturnedhalfround;thenfacingthefan-player,andthematron--youyourselves,Ladies,knewnotwhattobelievetillnow,thatIhavetoldyouourstory;andIdoassureyou,thatIshallnotgivemyselfthesame

troubletoconvincepeopleIhate;peoplefromwhomIneitherexpectnordesireanyfavour;andwhoaredeterminednottobeconvinced.Andwhat,pray,mustbetheissue,whenheruncle'sfriendcomes,althoughheseemstobeatrulyworthyman?Itisnotnaturalforhimtosay,'Towhatpurpose,Mr.Lovelace,shouldIendeavourtobringaboutareconciliationbetweenMrs.Lovelaceandherfriends,bymeansofherelderuncle,whenagoodunderstandingiswantingbetweenyourselves?'--Afairinference,Mrs.Moore!--Afairinference,MissRawlins.--Andhereistheunhappiness--tillsheisreconciledtothem,thiscursedoath,inhernotion,isbinding.

Thewomenseemedmoved;forIspokewithgreatearnestness,thoughlow--andbesides,theylovetohavetheirsex,anditsfavours,appearof

importancetous.Theyshooktheirdeepheadsateachother,andlookedsorrowful:andthismovedmytenderhearttoo.

'Tisanunheard-ofcase,Ladies--hadshenotpreferredmetoallmankind--ThereIstopped--andthat,resumedI,feelingformyhandkerchief,iswhatstaggeredCaptainTomlinsonwhenheheardofherflight;who,thelasttimehesawustogether,sawthemostaffectionatecoupleonearth!--themostaffectionatecoupleonearth!--intheaccent-grievous,repeatedI.



OutthenIpulledmyhandkerchief,andputtingittomyeyes,arose,andwalkedtothewindow--Itmakesmeweakerthanawoman,didInotloveher,asnevermanlovedhiswife![IhavenodoubtbutIdo,Jack.]

ThereagainIstopt;andresuming--Charmingcreature,asyouseesheis,IwishIhadneverbeheldherface!--Excuseme,Ladies;traversingtheroom,andhavingrubbedmyeyestillIsupposedthemred,Iturnedtothewomen;and,pullingoutmyletter-case,Iwillshowyouoneletter--hereitis--readit,MissRawlins,ifyouplease--itwillconfirmtoyouhowmuchallmyfamilyarepreparedtoadmireher.Iamfreelytreatedinit;--soIaminthetwoothers:butafterwhatIhavetoldyou,nothingneedbeasecrettoyoutwo.

Shetookit,withanairofeagercuriosity,andlookedattheseal,ostentatiouslycoroneted;andatthesuperscription,readingout,ToRobertLovelace,Esq.--Ay,Madam--Ay,Miss,that'smyname,[givingmyselfanair,thoughIhadtoldittothembefore,]Iamnotashamedofit.Mywife'smaidenname--unmarriedname,Ishouldrathersay--foolthatIam!--andIrubbedmycheekforvexation[Foolenoughinconscience,Jack!]wasHarlowe--ClarissaHarlowe--youheardmecallhermyClarissa--

Idid--butthoughtittobeafeignedorlove-name,saidMissRawlins.

IwonderwhatisMissRawlins'slove-name,Jack.Mostofthefairromancershaveintheirearlywomanhoodchosenlove-names.Noparsonevergavemorerealnames,thanIhavegivenfictitiousones.Andtoverygoodpurpose:manyasweetdearhasansweredmealetterforthesakeofowninganamewhichhergodmothernevergaveher.

No--itwasherrealname,Isaid.

Ibidherreadoutthewholeletter.Ifthespellingbenotexact,MissRawlins,saidI,youwillexcuseit;thewriterisalord.But,perhaps,Imaynotshowittomyspouse;forifthoseIhaveleftwithherhavenoeffectuponher,neitherwillthis:andIshallnotcaretoexposemyLordM.toherscorn.IndeedIbegintobequitecarelessof

consequences.

MissRawlins,whocouldnotbutbepleasedwiththismarkofmyconfidence,lookedasifshepitiedme.

Andherethoumayestreadtheletter,No.III.

***

TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.M.HALL,WEDN.JUNE7.

COUSINLOVELACE,

Ithinkyoumighthavefoundtimetoletusknowofyournuptialsbeingactuallysolemnized.Imighthaveexpectedthispieceofcivilityfromyou.Butperhapstheceremonywasperformedattheverytimethatyouaskedmetobeyourlady'sfather--butIshouldbeangryifIproceedinmyguesses--andlittlesaidissoonamended.

ButIcantellyou,thatLadyBettyLawrance,whateverLadySarahdoes,



willnotsosoonforgiveyou,asIhavedone.Womenresentslightslongerthanmen.Youthatknowsomuchofthesex(Ispeakitnot,however,toyourpraise)mighthaveknownthat.Butneverwasyoubeforeacquaintedwithaladyofsuchanamiablecharacter.Ihopetherewillbebutonesoulbetweenyou.Ihavebeforenowsaid,thatIwilldisinherityou,andsettleallIcanuponher,ifyouprovenotagoodhusbandtoher.

Maythismarriagebecrownedwithagreatmanyfineboys(Idesirenogirls)tobuildupagainafamilysoantient!Thefirstboyshalltakemysurnamebyactofparliament.Thatismywill.

LadyBettyandnieceCharlottewillbeintownaboutbusinessbeforeyouknowwhereyouare.Theylongtopaytheircomplimentstoyourfairbride.IsupposeyouwillhardlybeatTheLawnwhentheygettotown;becauseGremeinformsme,youhavesentnoordersthereforyourlady'saccommodation.

Pritchardhasallthingsinreadinessforsigning.Iwilltakenoadvantageofyourslights.IndeedIamtoomuchusedtothem--morepraisetomypatiencethantoyourcomplaisance,however.

OnereasonforLadyBetty'sgoingup,asImaytellyouundertherose,is,tobuysomesuitablepresentsforLadySarahandallofustomake

onthisagreeableoccasion.Wewouldhaveblazeditaway,couldwehavehadtimelynotice,andthoughtitwouldhavebeenagreeabletoallround.Thelikeoccasionsdon'thappeneveryday.

Mymostaffectionatecomplimentsandcongratulationstomynewniece,concludeme,forthepresent,inviolentpain,thatwithallyourheroicalnesswouldmakeyoumad,

Yourtrulyaffectionateuncle,M.

***

Thisletterclench'dthenail.Notbutthat,MissRawlinssaid,shesawIhadbeenawildgentleman;and,trulyshethoughtsothemomentshebeheldme.

Theybegantointercedeformyspouse,(sonicelyhadIturnedthetables;)andthatIwouldnotgoabroadanddisappointareconciliationsomuchwishedforononeside,andsuchdesirableprospectsontheotherinmyownfamily.

Whoknows,thoughtItomyself,butmoremaycomeofthisplot,thanIhadevenpromisedmyself?WhatahappymanshallIbe,ifthesewomencanbebroughttojointocarrymymarriageintoconsummation!

Ladies,youareexceedinglygoodtousboth.Ishouldhavesomehopes,ifmyunhappilynicespousecouldbebroughttodispensewiththeunnaturaloathshehaslaidmeunder.Youseewhatmycaseis.DoyouthinkImaynotinsistuponherabsolvingmefromthisabominableoath?Willyoubesogoodastogiveyouradvice,thatoneapartmentmayserveforamanandhiswifeatthehourofretirement?--[Modestlyput,



Belford!--Andletmehereobserve,thatfewrakeswouldfindalanguagesodecentastoengagemodestwomentotalkwithhimin,uponsuchsubjects.]

Theybothsimpered,andlookedupononeanother.

Thesesubjectsalwaysmakewomensimper,atleast.Noneedbutofthemostdelicatehintstothem.Amanwhoisgrossinawoman'scompany,oughttobeknockeddownwithaclub:for,likesomanymusicalinstruments,touchbutasinglewire,andthedearsoulsaresensibleallover.

Tobesure,MissRawlinslearnedlysaid,playingwithherfan,acasuistwouldgiveit,thatthematrimonialvowoughttosupercedeanyotherobligation.

Mrs.Moore,forherpart,wasofopinion,that,iftheladyownedherselftobeawife,sheoughttobehavelikeone.

Whateverbemyluck,thoughtI,withthisall-eyedfair-one,anyotherwomanintheworld,fromfifteentofive-and-twenty,wouldbemineuponmyowntermsbeforethemorning.

Andnow,thatImaybeathandtotakealladvantages,Iwillendeavour,

saidItomyself,tomakesureofgoodquarters.Iamyourlodger,Mrs.Moore,invirtueoftheearnestIhavegivenyoufortheseapartments,andforanyoneyoucanspareaboveformyservants.Indeedforallyouhavetospare--Forwhoknowswhatmyspouse'sbrothermayattempt?Iwillpayyoutoyourowndemand;andthatforamonthortwocertain,(boardincluded,)asIshallorshallnotbeyourhindrance.Takethatasapledge;orinpartofpayment--offeringherathirtypoundbanknote.

Shedeclinedtakingit;desiringshemightconsulttheladyfirst;adding,thatshedoubtednotmyhonour;andthatshewouldnotletherapartmentstoanyotherperson,whomsheknewnotsomethingof,whileI

andtheladywerehere.

TheLady!TheLady!frombothwomen'smouth'scontinually(whichstillimpliedadoubtintheirhearts):andnotYourSpouse,andYourLady,Sir.

Inevermetwithsuchwomen,thoughtI:--sothoroughlyconvincedbutthismoment,yetalreadydoubting--IamafraidIhaveacoupleofskepticstodealwith.

Iknewnoreason,Isaid,formywifetoobjecttomylodginginthesamehousewithherhere,anymorethanintown,atMrs.Sinclair's.Butwereshetomakesuchobjection,Iwouldnotquitpossessionsinceitwasnot

unlikelythatthesamefreakishdisorderwhichbroughthertoHampstead,mightcarryherabsolutelyoutofmyknowledge.

Theybothseemedembarrassed;andlookedupononeanother;yetwithsuchanair,asiftheythoughttherewasreasoninwhatIsaid.AndIdeclaredmyselfherboarder,aswellaslodger;anddinner-timeapproaching,wasnotdeniedtobetheformer.



LETTERXXV


Ithoughtitwasnowhightimetoturnmywholemindtomybeloved;whohadhadfullleisuretoweighthecontentsofthelettersIhadleftwithher.

IthereforerequestedMrs.Mooretostepin,anddesiretoknowwhethershewouldbepleasedtoadmitmetoattendherinherapartment,onoccasionofthelettersIhadleftwithher;orwhethershewouldfavourmewithhercompanyinthedining-room?

Mrs.MooredesiredMissRawlinstoaccompanyherintothelady.Theytappedatthedoor,andwerebothadmitted.

Icannotbutstophereforoneminutetoremark,thoughagainstmyself,uponthatsecuritywhichinnocencegives,thatneverthelesshadbetterhaveinitagreatermixtureoftheserpentwiththedove.Forhere,heedlessofallIcouldsaybehindherback,becauseshewassatisfiedwithherownworthiness,shepermittedmetogoonwithmyownstory,withoutinterruption,topersonsasgreatstrangerstoherasme;andwho,asstrangerstoboth,mightbesupposedtoleantothesidemost

injured;andthat,asImanagedit,wastomine.Adear,sillysoul,thoughtI,atthetime,todependuponthegoodnessofherownheart,whentheheartcannotbeseenintobutbyitsactions;andshe,toappearance,arunaway,aneloper,fromatender,amostindulgenthusband!--Toneglecttocultivatetheopinionofindividuals,whenthewholeworldisgovernedbyappearance!

Yetwhatcanbeexpectedofanangelundertwenty?--Shehasaworldofknowledge:--knowledgespeculative,asImaysay,butnoexperience.--Howshouldshe?--Knowledgebytheoryonlyisavague,uncertainlight:aWillo'theWisp,whichasoftenmisleadsthedoubtingmind,asputsitright.

Therearemanythingsintheworld,couldamoralizersay,thatwould

affordinexpressiblepleasuretoareflectingmind,wereitnotforthemixturetheycometouswith.Tobegraverstill,Ihaveseenparents,[perhapsmyowndidso,]whodelightedinthoseveryqualitiesintheirchildrenwhileyoung,thenaturalconsequencesofwhich,(toomuchindulgedandencouraged,)madethem,astheygrewup,theplagueoftheirhearts.--Tobringthishometomypresentpurpose,Imusttellthee,thatIadorethischarmingcreatureforhervigilantprudence;butyetIwouldnot,methinks,wishher,byvirtueofthatprudence,whichis,however,necessarytocarryherabovethedevicesofalltherestoftheworld,tobetoowiseformine.

Myrevenge,myswornrevenge,is,nevertheless,(adoreherasIwill,)uppermostinmyheart.--MissHowesaysthatmyloveisaHerodianlove.*

Bymysoul,thatgirl'sawitch!Iamhalfsorrytosay,thatIfindapleasureinplayingthetyrantoverwhatIlove.Callitanungenerouspleasure,ifthouwilt:softerheartsthanmineknowit.Thewomen,toawoman,knowit,andshowittoo,whenevertheyaretrustedwithpower.Andwhyshoulditbethoughtstrange,thatI,wholovethemsodearly,andstudythemsomuch,shouldcatchtheinfectionofthem?

*SeeLetterXX.ofthisvolume.



LETTERXXVI


Iwillnowgivetheethesubstanceofthedialoguethatpassedbetweenthetwowomenandthelady.Wondernot,thataperversewifemakesalisteninghusband.Theevent,however,asthouwiltfind,justifiedtheoldobservation,Thatlistnersseldomheargoodofthemselves.Consciousoftheirowndemerits,ifImayguessbymyself,[There'singenuousness,Jack!]andfearfulofcensure,theyseldomfindthemselvesdisappointed.Thereissomethingofsense,afterallintheseproverbs,inthesephrases,inthiswisdomofnations.

Mrs.Moorewastobethemessenger,butMissRawlinsbeganthedialogue.

YourSPOUSE,Madam,--[Devil!--onlytofishforanegativeoraffirmativedeclaration.]

Cl.Myspouse,Madam--

MissR.Mr.Lovelace,Madam,aversthatyouaremarriedtohim;and

begsadmittance,oryourcompanyinthedining-room,totalkuponthesubjectofthelettersheleftwithyou.

Cl.Heisapoorwickedwretch.Letmebegofyou,Madam,tofavourmewithyourcompanyasoftenaspossiblewhileheishereabouts,andIremainhere.

MissR.Ishallwithpleasureattendyou,Madam:but,methinks,Icouldwishyouwouldseethegentleman,andhearwhathehastosayonthesubjectoftheletters.

Cl.Mycaseisahard,averyhardone--Iamquitebewildered!-Iknownotwhattodo!--Ihavenotafriendintheworldthatcanorwillhelp

me!YethadnonebutfriendstillIknewthatman!

MissR.Thegentlemanneitherlooksnortalkslikeabadman.--Notaverybadman,asmengo.

Asmengo!PoorMissRawlins,thoughtI;anddostthouknowhowmengo?

Cl.OMadam,youknowhimnot!Hecanputontheappearanceofanangeloflight;buthasablack,averyblackheart!

PoorI!--

MissR.Icouldnothavethoughtit,truly!Butmenarevery

deceitful,now-a-days.

Now-a-days!--Afool!--Havenotherhistory-bookstoldherthattheywerealwaysso?

Mrs.Moore,sighing.Ihavefounditso,Iamsure,tomycost!--

WhoknowsbutinhertimepoorgoodyMooremayhavemetwithaLovelace,oraBelford,orsomesuchvilefellow?Mylittleharum-scarumbeautyknowsnotwhatstrangehistorieseverywomanliving,whohashadthe



leastindependenceofwill,couldtellher,weresuchtobeascommunicativeassheis.Buthere'sthething--Ihavegivenhercauseenoughofoffence;butnotenoughtomakeherholdhertongue.

Cl.Astothelettershehasleftwithme,Iknownotwhattosaytothem:butamresolvednevertohaveanythingtosaytohim.

MissR.If,Madam,Imaybeallowedtosayso,Ithinkyoucarrymattersveryfar.

Cl.Hashebeenmakingabadcauseagoodonewithyou,Madam?--Thathecandowiththosewhoknowhimnot.IndeedIheardhimtalking,thoughtnotwhathesaid,andamindifferentaboutit.--Butwhataccountdoeshegiveofhimself?

Iwaspleasedtohearthis.Toarrest,tostopherpassion,thoughtI,intheheightofitscareer,isacharmingpresage.

ThenthebusyMissRawlinsfishedon,tofindoutfromhereitheraconfirmationordisavowalofmystory--WasLordM.myuncle?DidIcourtheratfirstwiththeallowanceofherfriends,herbrotherexcepted?HadIarencounterwiththatbrother?Wasshesopersecutedinfavourofaverydisagreeableman,oneSolmes,astoinducehertothrowherselfintomyprotection?

Noneoftheseweredenied.Alltheobjectionsshecouldhavemade,werestifled,orkeptin,bytheconsiderations,(asshementioned,)thatsheshouldstaytherebutalittlewhile,andthatherstorywastoolong;butMissRawlinswouldnotbethuseasilyanswered.

MissR.Hesays,Madam,thathecouldnotprevailformarriage,tillhehadconsented,underasolemnoath,toseparatebeds,whileyourfamilyremainedunreconciled.

Cl.Othewretch!Whatcanbestillinhishead,toendeavourtopassthesestoriesuponstrangers?

Sonodirectdenial,thoughtI.--Admirable!--Allwilldoby-and-by.

MissR.HehasownedthatanaccidentalfirehadfrightenedyouverymuchonWednesdaynight--andthat--andthat--anaccidentalfirehadfrightenedyou--verymuchfrightenedyou--lastWednesdaynight!

Then,afterashortpause--Inshort,heowned,thathehadtakensomeinnocentliberties,whichmighthaveledtoabreachoftheoathyouhadimposeduponhim;andthatthiswasthecauseofyourdispleasure.

Iwouldhavebeengladtoseehowmycharmerthenlooked.--Tobesureshewasatalossinherownmind,tojustifyherselfforresentingsohighlyanoffencesotrifling.--Shehesitated--didnotpresentlyspeak.--When

shedid,shewishedthatshe,(MissRawlins,)mightnevermeetwithanymanwhowouldtakesuchinnocentlibertieswithher.

MissRawlinspushedfurther.

Yourcase,tobesure,Madam,isveryparticular:butifthehopeofareconciliationwithyourownfriendsismademoredistantbyyourleavinghim,givemeleavetosay,that'tispity--'tispity--[Isupposethemaidenthenprimm'd,fann'd,andblush'd--'tispity]theoathcannotbedispensedwith;especiallyasheownshehasnotbeensostrictaliver.



Icouldhavegoneinandkissedthegirl.

Cl.Youhaveheardhisstory.Mine,asItoldyoubefore,istoolong,andtoomelancholy:mydisorderonseeingthewretchistoogreat;andmytimehereistooshort,formetoenteruponit.Andifhehasanyendtoservebyhisownvindication,inwhichIshallnotbeapersonalsufferer,lethimmakehimselfappearaswhiteasanangel,withallmyheart.

Myloveforher,andtheexcellentcharacterIgaveher,werethenpleaded.

Cl.Speciousseducer!--OnlytellmeifIcannotgetawayfromhimbysomebackway?

Howmyheartthenwentpit-a-pat,tospeakinthefemaledialect.

Cl.Letmelookout--[Iheardthesashliftedup.]--Whitherdoesthatpathlead?Istherenopossibilityofgettingtoacoach?Surelyhemustdealwithsomefiend,orhowcouldhehavefoundmeout?CannotIstealtosomeneighbouringhouse,whereImaybeconcealedtillIcangetquiteaway?Youaregoodpeople!--Ihavenotbeenalwaysamongsuch!--Ohelpme,helpme,Ladies![withavoiceofimpatience,]orIamruined!

Thenpausing,IsthatthewaytoHendon?[pointing,Isuppose.]IsHendonaprivateplace?--TheHampsteadcoach,Iamtold,willcarrypassengersthither.

Mrs.Moore.IhaveanhonestfriendatMill-Hill,[Devilfetchher!thoughtI,]where,ifsuchbeyourdetermination,Madam,andifyouthinkyourselfindanger,youmaybesafe,Ibelieve.

Cl.Anywhere,ifIcanbutescapefromthisman!Whitherdoesthatpathlead,outyonder?--Whatisthattownontherighthandcalled?

Mrs.Moore.Highgate,Madam.

MissR.Onthesideoftheheathisalittlevillage,calledNorth-end.Akinswomanofminelivesthere.Butherhouseissmall.Iamnotsureshecouldaccommodatesuchalady.

Deviltakehertoo!thoughtI,--IimaginedthatIhadmademyselfabetterinterestinthesewomen.Butthewholesexloveplotting--andplotterstoo,Jack.

Cl.Abarn,anouthouse,agarret,willbeapalacetome,ifitwillbutaffordmearefugefromthisman!

Hersenses,thoughtI,aremuchlivelierthanmine.--Whatadevilhave

Idone,thatsheshouldbesoveryimplacable?Itoldthee,Belford,allIdid:Wasthereanythinginitsoverymuchamiss?Suchprospectsofafamilyreconciliationbeforehertoo!Tobesuresheisaverysensiblelady!

Shethenespiedmynewservantwalkingunderthewindow,andaskedifhewerenotoneofmine?

Will.wasonthelook-outforoldGrimes,[soisthefellowcalledwhommybelovedhasdispatchedtoMissHowe.]Andbeingtoldthatthemanshe



sawwasmyservant;Isee,saidshe,thatthereisnoescaping,unlessyou,Madam,[toMissRawlins,Isuppose,]canbefriendmetillIcangetfarther.Ihavenodoubtthatthefellowisplantedaboutthehousetowatchmysteps.Butthewickedwretchhismasterhasnorighttocontroulme.HeshallnothindermefromgoingwhereIplease.Iwillraisethetownuponhim,ifhemolestsme.DearLadies,istherenoback-doorformetogetoutatwhileyouholdhimintalk?

MissR.Givemeleavetoaskyou,Madam,Istherenoroomtohopeforaccommodation?Hadyounotbetterseehim?Hecertainlylovesyoudearly:heisafinegentleman;youmayexasperatehim,andmakemattersmoreunhappyforyourself.

Cl.OMrs.Moore!OMissRawlins!youknownottheman!Iwishnottoseehisface,nortoexchangeanotherwordwithhimaslongasIlive.

Mrs.Moore.Idon'tfind,MissRawlins,thatthegentlemanhasmisrepresentedanything.Yousee,Madam,[tomyClarissa,]howrespectfulheis;nottocomeintillpermitted.Hecertainlylovesyoudearly.Pray,Madam,lethimtalktoyou,ashewishestodo,onthesubjectofhisletters.

VerykindofMrs.Moore!--Mrs.Moore,thoughtI,isaverygoodwoman.Ididnotcurseherthen.

MissRawlinssaidsomething;butsolowthatIcouldnothearwhatitwas.Thusitwasanswered.

Cl.Iamgreatlydistressed!Iknownotwhattodo!--But,Mrs.Moore,besogoodastogivehisletterstohim--heretheyare.--Bepleasedtotellhim,thatIwishhimandLadyBettyandMissMontagueahappymeeting.Henevercanwantexcusestothemforwhathashappened,anymorethanpretencestothosehewoulddelude.Tellhim,thathehasruinedmeintheopinionofmyownfriends.IamforthatreasonthelesssolicitoushowIappeartohis.

Mrs.Moorethencametome;andI,beingafraidthatsomethingwouldpass

meantimebetweentheothertwo,whichIshouldnotlike,tooktheletters,andenteredtheroom,andfoundthemretiredintothecloset;mybelovedwhisperingwithanairofearnestnesstoMissRawlins,whowasallattention.

Herbackwastowardsme;andMissRawlins,bypullinghersleeve,givingintimationofmybeingthere--CanIhavenoretirementuninvaded,Sir,saidshe,withindignation,asifshewereinterruptedinsometalkherheartwasin?--Whatbusinesshaveyouhere,orwithme?--Youhaveyourletters;haveyounot?

Lovel.Ihave,mydear;andletmebegofyoutoconsiderwhatyouareabout.IeverymomentexpectCaptainTomlinsonhere.Uponmysoul,I

do.Hehaspromisedtokeepfromyourunclewhathashappened:butwhatwillhethinkifhefindyouholdinthisstrangehumour?

Cl.Iwillendeavour,Sir,tohavepatiencewithyouforamomentortwo,whileIaskyouafewquestionsbeforethislady,andbeforeMrs.Moore,[whojustthencamein,]bothofwhomyouhaveprejudicedinyourfavourbyyourspeciousstories:--Willyousay,Sir,thatwearemarriedtogether?Layyourhanduponyourheart,andanswerme,amIyourweddedwife?



Iamgonetoofar,thoughtI,togiveupforsuchapushasthis,homeoneasitis.

Mydearestsoul!howcanyouputsuchaquestion?Itiseitherforyourhonourormyown,thatitshouldbedoubted?--Surely,surely,Madam,youcannothaveattendedtothecontentsofCaptainTomlinson'sletter.

Shecomplainedoftenofwantofspiritsthroughoutourwholecontention,andofweaknessofpersonandmind,fromthefitsshehadbeenthrowninto:butlittlereasonhadsheforthiscomplaint,asIthought,whowasabletoholdmetoit,asshedid.IownthatIwasexcessivelyconcernedforherseveraltimes.

YouandI!VilestofMen!--

MynameisLovelace,Madam--

ThereforeitisthatIcallyouthevilestofmen.[Wasthispardonable,Jack!]--YouandIknowthetruth,thewholetruth.--Iwantnottoclearupmyreputationwiththesegentlewomen:--thatisalreadylostwitheveryoneIhadmostreasontovalue:butletmehavethisnewspecimenofwhatyouarecapableof--say,wretch,(say,Lovelace,ifthouhadstrather,)artthoureallyandtrulymyweddedhusband?--Say;answerwithouthesitation.

Shetrembledwithimpatientindignation;buthadawildnessinhermanner,whichItooksomeadvantageof,inordertoparrythiscursedthrust.Andacursedthrustitwas;since,hadIpositivelyaverredit,shewouldneverhavebelievedanythingIsaid:andhadIownedthatIwasnotmarried,Ihaddestroyedmyownplot,aswellwiththewomenaswithher;andcouldhavenopretenceforpursuingher,orhinderingherfromgoingwheresoevershepleased.NotthatIwasashamedtoaverit,haditbeenconsistentwithpolicy.Iwouldnothavetheethinkmesuchamilk-sopneither.

Lovel.Mydearestlove,howwildlyyoutalk!Whatwouldyouhavemeanswer?ItisnecessarythatIshouldanswer?MayInotre-appealthis

toyourownbreast,aswellastoCaptainTomlinson'streatyandletter?Youknowyourselfhowmattersstandbetweenus.--AndCaptainTomlinson--

Cl.Owretch!Isthisananswertomyquestion?Say,arewemarried,orarewenot?

Lovel.Whatmakesamarriage,weallknow.Ifitbetheunionoftwohearts,[therewasaturn,Jack!]tomyutmostgrief,Imustsaythatwearenot;sincenowIseeyouhateme.Ifitbethecompletionofmarriage,tomyconfusionandregret,Imustownwearenot.But,mydear,willyoubepleasedtoconsiderwhatanswerhalfadozenpeoplewhenceyoucame,couldgivetoyourquestion?Anddonotnow,inthedisorderofyourmind,andtheheightofpassion,bringintoquestion

beforethesegentlewomenapointyouhaveacknowledgedbeforethosewhoknowusbetter.

Iwouldhavewhisperedheraboutthetreatywithheruncle,andaboutthecontentsoftheCaptain'sletter;but,retreating,andwitharejectinghand,Keepthydistance,man,criedthedearinsolent--tothineownheartIappeal,sincethouevadestmethuspitifully!--Iownnomarriagewiththee!--Bearwitness,Ladies,Idonot.Andceasetotormentme,ceasetofollowme.--Surely,surely,faultyasIhavebeen,Ihavenotdeservedtobethuspersecuted!--Iresume,therefore,myformerlanguage:youhaveno



righttopursueme:youknowyouhavenot:begonethen,andleavemetomakethebestofmyhardlot.Omydear,cruelfather!saidshe,inaviolentfitofgrief[fallinguponherknees,andclaspingherupliftedhandstogether]thyheavycurseiscompleteduponthydevoteddaughter!Iampunished,dreadfullypunished,bytheverywretchinwhomIhadplacedmywickedconfidence!

Bymysoul,Belford,thelittlewitchwithherwords,butmorebyhermanner,movedme!Wondernotthenthatheraction,hergrief,hertears,setthewomenintothelikecompassionatemanifestations.

HadInotacursedtaskofit?

Thetwowomenwithdrewtothefurtherendoftheroom,andwhispered,astrangecase!Thereisnophrensyhere--Ijustheardsaid.

Thecharmingcreaturethrewherhandkerchiefoverherheadandneck,continuingkneeling,herbacktowardsme,andherfacehiduponachair,andrepeatedlysobbedwithgriefandpassion.

Itookthisopportunitytosteptothewomentokeepthemsteady.

Yousee,Ladies,[whispering,]whatanunhappymanIam!Youseewhataspiritthisdearcreaturehas!--All,allowingtoherimplacable

relations,andtoherfather'scurse.--Acurseuponthemall!theyhaveturnedtheheadofthemostcharmingwomanintheworld!

Ah!Sir,Sir,repliedMissRawlins,whateverbethefaultofherrelations,allisnotasitshouldbebetweenyouandher.'Tisplainshedoesnotthinkherselfmarried:'tisplainshedoesnot:andifyouhaveanyvalueforthepoorlady,andwouldnottotallydepriveherofhersenses,youhadbetterwithdraw,andleavetotimeandcoolerconsiderationtheeventinyourfavour.

Shewillcompelmetothisatlast,Ifear,MissRawlins;Ifearshewill;andthenwearebothundone:forIcannotlivewithouther;sheknowsittoowell:andshehasnotafriendwhowilllookuponher:this

alsosheknows.Ourmarriage,whenheruncle'sfriendcomes,willbeprovedincontestably.ButIamashamedtothinkIhavegivenherroomtobelieveitnomarriage:that'swhatsheharpsupon!

Well,'tisastrangecase,averystrangeone,saidMissRawlins;andwasgoingtosayfurther,whentheangrybeauty,comingtowardsthedoor,said,Mrs.Moore,Ibegawordwithyou.Andtheybothsteppedintothedining-room.

Isawherjustbeforeputaparcelintoherpocket;andfollowedthemout,forfearsheshouldslipaway;andsteppingtothestairs,thatshemightnotgobyme,Will.,criedI,aloud[thoughIknewhewasnotnear]--Pray,child,toamaid,whoanswered,calleitherofmyservantstome.

Shethencameuptomewithawrathfulcountenance:doyoucallyourservant,Sir,tohinderme,betweenyou,fromgoingwhereIplease?

Don't,mydearestlife,misinterpreteverythingIdo.Canyouthinkmesomeanandunworthyastoemployaservanttoconstrainyou?--Icallhimtosendtothepublic-houses,orinnsinthistown,toinquireafterCaptainTomlinson,whomayhavealightedatsomeoneofthem,andbenow,perhaps,needlesslyadjustinghisdress;andIwouldhavehimcome,werehetobewithoutclothes,Godforgiveme!forIamstabbedtotheheart



byyourcruelty.

Answerwasreturned,thatneitherofmyservantswasintheway.

Notintheway,saidI!--Whithercanthedogsbegone?

OSir!withascornfulair;notfar,I'llwarrant.Oneofthemwasunderthewindowjustnow;accordingtoorder,Isuppose,towatchmysteps--butIwilldowhatIplease,andgowhereIplease;andthattoyourface.

Godforbid,thatIshouldhinderyouinanythingthatyoumaydowithsafetytoyourself!

NowIverilybelievethatherdesignwastoslipout,inpursuanceofthecloset-whisperingbetweenherandMissRawlins;perhapstoMissRawlins'shouse.

ShethensteptbacktoMrs.Moore,andgavehersomething,whichprovedtobeadiamondring,anddesiredher[notwhisperingly,butwithanairofdefiancetome]thatthatmightbeapledgeforher,tillshedefrayedherdemands;whichsheshouldsoonfindmeanstodo;havingnomoremoneyaboutherthanshemighthaveoccasionforbeforeshecametoanacquaintance's.

Mrs.Moorewouldhavedeclinedtakingit;butshewouldnotbedenied;andthen,wipinghereyes,sheputonhergloves--nobodyhasarighttostopme,saidshe!--Iwillgo!--WhomshouldIbeafraidof?--Herveryquestion,charmingcreature!testifyingherfear.

Ibegpardon,Madam,[turningtoMrs.Moore,andcourtesying,]forthetroubleIhavegivenyou.--Ibegpardon,Madam,toMissRawlins,[courtesyinglikewisetoher,]--youmaybothhearofmeinahappierhour,ifsuchaonefalltomylot--andGodblessyouboth!--strugglingwithhertearstillshesobbed--andawaywastripping.

Isteppedtothedoor:Iputitto;andsettingmybackagainstit,took

herstrugglinghand--Mydearestlife!myangel!saidI,whywillyouthusdistressme?--Isthistheforgivenesswhichyousosolemnlypromised?--

Unhandme,Sir!--Youhavenobusinesswithme!Youhavenorightoverme!Youknowyouhavenot.

Butwhither,whither,mydearestlove,wouldyougo!--ThinkyounotthatIwillfollowyou,wereittotheworld'send!--Whitherwouldyougo?

Welldoyouaskme,whitherIwouldgo,whohavebeentheoccasionthatIhavenotafriendleft!--ButGod,whoknowsmyinnocence,andmyuprightintentions,willnotwhollyabandonmewhenIamoutofyourpower;butwhileIaminit,Icannotexpectagleamofthedivinegraceorfavour

toreachme.

Howsevereisthis!--Howshockinglysevere!--Outofyourpresence,myangryfair-one,Icanneitherhopefortheonenortheother.AsmycousinMontague,intheletteryouhaveread,observes,Youaremypolarstarandmyguide,andifeverIamtobehappy,eitherhereorhereafter,itmustbeinandbyyou.

Shewouldthenhaveopenedthedoor.ButI,respectfullyopposingher,Begone,man!Begone,Mr.Lovelace!saidshe,stopnotinmyway.Ifyou



wouldnotthatIshouldattemptthewindow,givemepassagebythedoor;for,oncemore,youhavenorighttodetainme.

Yourresentments,mydearestlife,Iwillowntobewellgrounded.IwillacknowledgethatIhavebeenallinfault.Onmyknee,[anddownIdropt,]Iaskyourpardon.Andcanyourefusetoratifyyourownpromise?Lookforwardtothehappyprospectbeforeus.SeeyounotmyLordM.andLadySarahlongingtoblessyou,forblessingme,andtheirwholefamily?CanyoutakenopleasureinthepromisedvisitofLadyBettyandmycousinMontague?Andintheprotectiontheyofferyou,ifyouaredissatisfiedwithmine?Haveyounowishtoseeyouruncle'sfriend?StayonlytillCaptainTomlinsoncomes.Receivefromhimthenewsofyouruncle'scompliancewiththewishesofboth.

Sheseemedaltogetherdistressed;wasreadytosink;andforcedtoleanagainstthewainscot,asIkneeledatherfeet.Astreamoftearsatlastburstfromherlessindignanteyes.Goodheaven!saidshe,liftingupherlovelyface,andclaspedhands,whatisatlasttobemydestiny?Delivermefromthisdangerousman;anddirectme--Iknownotwhattodo,whatIcando,norwhatIoughttodo!

Thewomen,asIhadownedourmarriagetobebuthalfcompleted,heardnothinginthiswholescenetocontradict(notflagrantlytocontradict)whatIhadasserted.Theybelievedtheysawinherreturningtemper,and

staggeredresolution,aloveforme,whichherindignationhadbeforesuppressed;andtheyjoinedtopersuadehertotarrytilltheCaptaincame,andtohearhisproposals;representingthedangerstowhichshewouldbeexposed;thefatiguesshemightendure;aladyofherappearance,unguarded,unprotected.Ontheotherhandtheydweltuponmydeclaredcontrition,andonmypromises;fortheperformanceofwhichtheyofferedtobebound.Somuchhadmykneelinghumilityaffectedthem.

Women,Jack,tacitlyacknowledgetheinferiorityoftheirsex,inthepridetheytaketobeholdakneelingloverattheirfeet.

Sheturnedfromme,andthrewherselfintoachair.

Iaroseandapproachedherwithreverence.Mydearestcreature,saidI,andwasproceeding,but,withafaceglowingwithconsciousdignity,sheinterruptedme--Ungenerous,ungratefulLovelace!Youknownotthevalueoftheheartyouhaveinsulted!Norcanyouconceivehowmuchmysouldespisesyourmeanness.Butmeannessmusteverbetheportionoftheman,whocanactvilely!

Thewomenbelievingwewerelikelytobeonbetterterms,retired.Thedearperverseopposedtheirgoing;buttheysawIwasdesirousoftheirabsence;andwhentheyhadwithdrawn,Ioncemorethrewmyselfatherfeet,andacknowledgedmyoffences;imploredherforgivenessforthisonetime,andpromisedthemostexactcircumspectionforthefuture.

Itwasimpossibleforhershesaidtokeephermemoryandforgiveme.WhathadstthouseenintheconductofClarissaHarlowe,thatshouldencouragesuchaninsultuponherasthoudidstdaretomake?Howmeanlymustthouthinkofher,thatthoucouldstpresumetobesoguilty,andexpecthertobesoweakastoforgivethee?

IbesoughthertoletmereadovertoherCaptainTomlinson'sletter.Iwassureitwasimpossibleshecouldhavegivenittherequisiteattention.



Ihavegivenittherequisiteattention,saidshe;andtheotherletterstoo.SothatwhatIsayisupondeliberation.AndwhathaveItofearfrommybrotherandsister?Theycanbutcompletetheruinofmyfortuneswithmyfatheranduncles.Letthemandwelcome.You,Sir,Ithankyou,haveloweredmyfortunes;but,IblessGod,thatmymindisnotsunkwithmyfortunes.Itis,onthecontrary,raisedabovefortune,andaboveyou;andforhalfawordtheyshallhavetheestatetheyenviedmefor,andanacquittalfrommeofalltheexpectationsfrommyfamilythatmaymakethemuneasy.

Iliftedupmyhandsandeyesinsilentadmirationofher.

Mybrother,Sir,maythinkmeruined;tothepraiseofyourcharacter,hemaythinkitimpossibletobewithyouandbeinnocent.Youhavebuttoowelljustifiedtheirharshestcensuresbyeverypartofyourconduct.ButnowthatIhaveescapedfromyou,andthatIamoutofthereachofyourmysteriousdevices,Iwillwrapmyselfupinmineowninnocence,[andthenthepassionatebeautyfoldedherarmsaboutherself,]andleavetotime,andtomyfuturecircumspection,there-establishmentofmycharacter.Leavemethen,Sir,pursuemenot!--

GoodHeaven![interruptingher]--andallthis,forwhat?--HadInotyieldedtoyourentreaties,(forgiveme,Madam,)youcouldnothave

carriedfartheryourresentments--Wretch!Wasitnotcrimeenoughtogiveoccasionforthoseentreaties?Wouldstthoumakeamerittome,thatthoudidstnotutterlyruinherwhomthououghtesttohaveprotected?Begone,man!(turningfromme,herfacecrimsonedoverwithpassion.)--Seemenomore!--Icannotbeartheeinmysight!--

Dearest,dearestcreature!

IfIforgivethee,Lovelace--Andthereshestopped.--Toendeavour,proceededshe,toendeavourbypremeditation,bylowcontrivances,bycriesofFire!toterrifyapoorcreaturewhohadconsentedtotakea

wretchedchancewiththeeforlife!

ForHeaven'ssake,--offeringtotakeherrepulsinghand,asshewasflyingfrommetowardsthecloset.

WhathastthoutodotopleadforthesakeofHeaveninthyfavour!--Odarkestofhumanminds!

Thenturningfromme,wipinghereyes,andagainturningtowardsme,buthersweetfacehalfaside,Whatdifficultieshastthouinvolvedmein!Thatthouhadstaplainpathbeforethee,afterthouhadstbetrayedmeintothypower.--Atoncemymindtakesinthewholeofthycrookedbehaviour;andifthouthinkestofClarissaHarloweasherproudheart

tellsherthououghtesttothinkofher,thouwiltseekthyfortuneselsewhere.Howoftenhastthouprovokedmetotellthee,thatmysoulisabovethee!

ForHeaven'ssake,Madam,forasoul'ssake,whichitisinyourpowertosavefromperdition,forgivemethepastoffence.Iamthegreatestvillainonearthifitwasapremeditatedone;yetIpresumenottoexcusemyself.OnyourmercyIthrowmyself.Iwillnotofferatanypleabutthatofpenitence.SeebutCaptainTomlinson.--SeebutLadyBettyandmycousin;letthempleadforme;letthembeguaranteesfor



myhonour.

IfCaptainTomlinsoncomewhileIstayhere,Imayseehim;butasforyou,Sir--

Dearestcreature!letmebegofyounottoaggravatemyoffencetotheCaptainwhenhecomes.Letmebegofyou--

Whataskestthou?ItisnotthatIshallbeofpartyagainstmyself?ThatIshallpalliate--

Donotchargeme,Madam,interruptedI,withvillainouspremeditation!--Donotgivesuchaconstructiontomyoffenceasmayweakenyouruncle'sopinion--asmaystrengthenyourbrother's--

Sheflungfrommetothefurtherendoftheroom,[shecouldgonofurther,]andjustthenMrs.Moorecameup,andtoldherthatdinnerwasready,andthatshehadprevaileduponMissRawlinstogiveherhercompany.

Youmustexcuseme,Mrs.Moore,saidshe.MissRawlinsIhopealsowill--butIcannoteat--Icannotgodown.Asforyou,Sir,Isupposeyouwillthinkitrighttodeparthence;atleasttillthegentlemancomeswhomyouexpect.

Irespectfullywithdrewintothenextroom,thatMrs.Mooremightacquainther,(Idurstnotmyself,)thatIwasherlodgerandboarder,as,whisperingly,Idesiredthatshewould;andmeetingMissRawlinsinthepassage,DearestMissRawlins,saidI,standmyfriend;joinwithMrs.Mooretopacifymyspouse,ifshehasanynewflightsuponmyhavingtakenlodgings,andintendingtoboardhere.Ihopeshewillhavemoregenerositythantothinkofhinderingagentlewomanfromlettingherlodgings.

IsupposeMrs.Moore,(whomIleftwithmyfair-one,)hadapprizedherofthisbeforeMissRawlinswentin;forIheardhersay,whileIwithheldMissRawlins,--'No,indeed:heismuchmistaken--surelyhedoesnotthink

Iwill.'

Theybothexpostulatedwithher,asIcouldgatherfrombitsandscrapsofwhattheysaid;fortheyspokesolow,thatIcouldnothearanydistinctsentence,butfromthefairperverse,whoseangermadeherlouder.AndtothispurposeIheardherdeliverherselfinanswertodifferentpartsoftheirtalktoher:--'GoodMrs.Moore,dearMissRawlins,pressmenofurther:--Icannotsitdownattablewithhim!'

Theysaidsomething,asIsupposeinmybehalf--'Otheinsinuatingwretch!WhatdefencehaveIagainstaman,who,gowhereIwill,canturneveryone,evenofthevirtuousofmysex,inhisfavour?'

Aftersomethingelsesaid,whichIheardnotdistinctly--'Thisisexecrablecunning!--Wereyoutoknowhiswickedheart,heisnotwithouthopeofengagingyoutwogoodpersonstosecondhiminthevilestofhismachinations.'

Howcameshe,(thoughtI,attheinstant,)byallthispenetration?Mydevilsurelydoesnotplaymebooty.IfIthoughthedid,Iwouldmarry,andlivehonest,tobeevenwithhim.

IsupposethentheyurgedthepleawhichIhintedtoMissRawlinsat



goingin,thatshewouldnotbeMrs.Moore'shindrance;forthussheexpressedherself--'Hewillnodoubtpayyouyourownprice.Youneednotquestionhisliberality;butonehousecannotholdus.--Why,ifitwould,didIflyfromhim,toseekrefugeamongstrangers?'

Then,inanswertosomewhatelsetheypleaded--''Tisamistake,Madam;Iamnotreconciledtohim,Iwillbelievenothinghesays.Hashenotgivenyouaflagrantspecimenofwhatamanheis,andofwhathisiscapable,bythedisguisesyousawhimin?Mystoryistoolong,andmystayherewillbebutshort;orIcouldconvinceyouthatmyresentmentsagainsthimarebuttoowellfounded.'

Isupposethattheypleadedforherleaveformydiningwiththem;forshesaid--'Ihavenothingtosaytothat:itisyourownhouse,Mrs.Moore--itisyourowntable--youmayadmitwhomyoupleasetoit,onlyleavemeatmylibertytochoosemycompany.'

Then,inanswer,asIsuppose,totheirofferofsendingherupaplate--'Abitofbread,ifyouplease,andaglassofwater;that'sallIcanswallowatpresent.Iamreallyverymuchdiscomposed.SawyounothowbadIwas?Indignationonlycouldhavesupportedmyspirits!--

'Ihavenoobjectionstohisdiningwithyou,Madam;'addedshe,inreply,Isuppose,toafartherquestionofthesamenature--'ButIwill

notstayanightinthesamehousewherehelodges.'IpresumeMissRawlinshadtoldherthatshewouldnotstaydinner:forshesaid,--'LetmenotdepriveMrs.Mooreofyourcompany,MissRawlins.Youwillnotbedispleasedwithhistalk.Hecanhavenodesignuponyou.'

ThenIsupposetheypleadedwhatImightsaybehindherback,tomakemyownstorygood:--'Icarenotwhathesaysorwhathethinksofme.RepentanceandamendmentarealltheharmIwishhim,whateverbecomesofme!'

Byheraccentsheweptwhenshespoketheselastwords.

Theycameoutbothofthemwipingtheireyes;andwouldhavepersuadedmetorelinquishthelodgings,andtodeparttillheruncle'sfriendcame.ButIknewbetter.IdidnotcaretotrusttheDevil,wellassheandMissHowesupposemetobeacquaintedwithhim,forfindingheroutagain,ifoncemoresheescapedme.

WhatIammostafraidofis,thatshewillthrowherselfamongherownrelations;and,ifshedoes,Iamconfidenttheywillnotbeabletowithstandheraffectingeloquence.Butyet,asthou'ltsee,theCaptain'slettertomeisadmirablycalculatedtoobviatemyapprehensionsonthisscore;particularlyinthatpassagewhereitissaid,thatherunclethinksnothimselfatlibertytocorresponddirectly

withher,ortoreceiveapplicationsfromher--butthroughCaptainTomlinson,asisstronglyimplied.*

*SeeLetterXXIV.ofthisvolume.

Imustown,(notwithstandingtherevengeIhavesosolemnlyvowed,)thatIwouldveryfainhavemadeforherameritwithmyselfinherreturningfavour,andhaveowedaslittleaspossibletothemediationofCaptain



Tomlinson.Mypridewasconcernedinthis:andthiswasoneofmyreasonsfornotbringinghimwithme.--Anotherwas,that,ifIwereobligedtohaverecoursetohisassistance,Ishouldbebetterable,(byvisitingwithouthim,)todirecthimwhattosayordo,asIshouldfindouttheturnofherhumour.

Iwas,however,gladatmyheartthatMrs.Moorecameupsoseasonablywithnoticethatdinnerwasready.Thefairfugitivewasallinalt.Shehadtheexcuseforwithdrawing,Ihadtimetostrengthenmyself;theCaptainhadtimetocome;andtheladytocool.--Shakspeareadviseswell:

Opposenotrage,whilstrageisinitsforce;Butgiveitwayawhile,andletitwaste.Therisingdelugeisnotstoptwithdams;Thoseito'erbears,anddrownsthehopeofharvest.But,wiselymanag'd,itsdividedstrengthIssluic'dinchannels,andsecurelydrain'd:Andwhenitsforceisspent,andunsupply'd,Theresiduewithmoundsmayberestrain'd,Anddry-shodwemaypassthenakedford.

Iwentdownwiththewomentodinner.Mrs.Mooresentherfairboarderupaplate,butsheonlyatealittlebitofbread,anddrankaglassof

water.Idoubtednotbutshewouldkeepherword,whenitwasoncegoneout.IsshenotanHarlowe?Sheseemstobeenuringherselftohardships,whichattheworstshecanneverknow;since,thoughsheshouldultimatelyrefusetobeobligedtome,or(toexpressmyselfmoresuitabletomyownheart,)toobligeme,everyonewhoseeshermustbefriendher.

Butletmeaskthee,Belford,Artthounotsolicitousformeinrelationtothecontentsoftheletterwhichtheangrybeautyhadwrittenanddispatchedawaybymanandhorse;andforwhatmaybeMissHowe'sanswertoit?Artthounotreadytoinquire,WhetheritbenotlikelythatMissHowe,whensheknowsofhersaucyfriend'sflight,willbeconcernedaboutherletter,whichshemustknowcouldnotbeatWilson'stillafter

thatflight,andso,probably,wouldfallintomyhands?--

Allthesethings,asthou'ltseeinthesequel,areprovidedforwithasmuchcontrivanceashumanforesightcanadmit.

IhavealreadytoldtheethatWill.isuponthelookoutforoldGrimes--oldGrimesis,itseems,agossiping,sottishrascal;andifWill.canbutlightofhim,I'llanswerfortheconsequence;ForhasnotWill.beenmyservantupwardsofsevenyears?

LETTERXXVII

MR.LOVELACE[INCONTINUATION.]

Wehadatdinner,besidesMissRawlins,ayoungwidow-nieceofMrs.Moore,whoiscometostayamonthwithheraunt--Bevishername;veryforward,verylively,andagreatadmirerofme,Iassureyou;--hangingsmirkinglyuponallIsaid;andpreparedtoapproveofeverywordbeforeIspoke:andwho,bythetimewehadhalf-dined,(bythehelpofwhatshe



hadcollectedbefore,)wasasmuchacquaintedwithourstoryaseitheroftheothertwo.

AsitbehovedmetopreparetheminmyfavouragainstwhatevermightcomefromMissHowe,IimproveduponthehintIhadthrownoutabove-stairsagainstthatmischief-makinglady.Irepresentedhertobeanarrogantcreature,revengeful,artful,enterprising,andonewho,hadshebeenaman,wouldhaveswornandcursed,andcommittedrapes,andplayedthedevil,asfarasIknew:[Ihavenodoubtofit,Jack!]butwho,byadvantageofafemaleeducation,andprideandinsolence,Ibelievedwaspersonallyvirtuous.

Mrs.Bevisallowed,thattherewasavastdealineducation--andinpridetoo,shesaid.WhileMissRawlinscamewithaprudishGodforbidthatvirtueshouldbeowingtoeducationonly!However,IdeclaredthatMissHowewasasubtlecontriverofmischief;onewhohadalwaysbeenmyenemy:hermotivesIknewnot:butdespisedthemanwhomhermotherwasdesiroussheshouldhave,oneHickman;althoughIdidnotdirectlyaverthatshewouldratherhavehadme;yettheyallimmediatelyimaginedthatthatwasthegroundofheranimositytome,andofherenvytomybeloved:anditwaspity,theysaid,thatsofineayoungladydidnotseethroughsuchapretendedfriend.

Andyetnobody[addedI]hasmorereasonthanshetoknowbyexperience

theforceofahatredfoundedinenvy;asIhintedtoyouabove,Mrs.Moore,andtoyou,MissRawlins,inthecaseofhersisterArabella.

Ihadcomplimentsmadetomypersonandtalentsonthisoccasion:whichgavemeasingularopportunityofdisplayingmymodesty,bydisclaimingthemeritofthem,withaNo,indeed!--Ishouldbeveryvain,Ladies,ifIthoughtso.Whilethusabusingmyself,andexaltingMissHowe,Igottheiropinionbothformodestyandgenerosity;andhadallthegraceswhichIdisclaimedthrowninuponmebesides.

Inshort,theyevenoppressedthatmodesty,which(tospeakmodestlyofmyself)theirpraisescreated,bydisbelievingallIsaidagainstmyself.

And,truly,Imustneedssay,theyhavealmostpersuadedevenmemyself,thatMissHoweisactuallyinlovewithme.Ihaveoftenbeenwillingtohopethis.Andwhoknowsbutshemay?TheCaptainandIhaveagreed,thatitshallbesoinsinuatedoccasionally--Andwhat'sthyopinion,Jack?ShecertainlyhatesHickman;andgirlswhoaredisengagedseldomhate,thoughtheymaynotlove:andifshehadratherhaveanother,whynotthatotherME?ForamInotasmartfellow,andarake?Anddonotyoursprightlyladiesloveyoursmartfellow,andyourrakes?Andwhereisthewonder,thatthemanwhocouldengagetheaffectionsofMissHarlowe,shouldengagethoseofalady(withher*alas's)whowouldbehonouredinbeingdeemedhersecond?

*SeeLetterXX.ofthisvolume,whereMissHowesays,Alas!mydear,Iknowyoulovedhim!

NoraccusethoumeofSINGULARvanityinthispresumption,Belford.Wertthoutoknowthesecretvanitythatlurksintheheartsofthosewhodisguiseorclokeitbest,thouwouldstfindgreatreasontoacquit,atleast,toallowforme:sinceitisgenerallytheconsciousover-fulnessofconceit,thatmakesthehypocritemostuponhisguardtoconcealit.Yetwiththesefellows,proudlyhumbleastheyare,itwillbreakout



sometimesinspiteoftheirclokes,thoughbutinself-denying,compliment-beggingself-degradation.

ButnowIhaveundervaluedmyself,inapologizingtotheeonthisoccasion,letmeuseanotherargumentinfavourofmyobservation,thattheladiesgenerallypreferaraketoasoberman;andofmypresumptionuponit,thatMissHoweisinlovewithme:itisthis:commonfamesays,ThatHickmanisaveryvirtuous,averyinnocentfellow--amale-virgin,Iwarrant!--AnodddogIalwaysthoughthim.Nowwomen,Jack,likenotnovices.Twomaidenheadsmeetingtogetherinwedlock,thefirstchildmustbeafool,istheircommonaphorism.Theyarepleasedwithaloveofthesexthatisfoundedintheknowledgeofit.Reasongood;novicesexpectmorethantheycanpossiblyfindinthecommercewiththem.Themanwhoknowsthem,yethasardoursforthem,toborrowawordfromMissHowe,*thoughthoseardoursaregenerallyowingmoretothedevilwithinhim,thantothewitchwithouthim,isthemanwhomakesthemthehighestandmostgratefulcompliment.Heknowswhattoexpect,andwithwhattobesatisfied.

*SeeVol.IV.LettersXXIX.andXXXIV.

Thenthemeritofawoman,insomecases,mustbeignorance,whetherreal

orpretended.Theman,inthesecases,mustbeanadept.Willitthenbewonderedat,thatawomanprefersalibertinetoanovice?--Whilesheexpectsintheonetheconfidenceshewants,sheconsiderstheotherandherselfastwoparallellines,which,thoughtheyrunsidebyside,cannevermeet.

Yetinthisthesexisgenerallymistakentoo;forthesesheepishfellowsaresly.Imyselfwasmodestonce;andthis,asIhaveelsewherehintedtothee,*hasbetterenabledmetojudgeofbothsexes.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXXIII.

Buttoproceedwithmynarrative:

HavingthuspreparedeveryoneagainstanylettershouldcomefromMissHowe,andagainstmybeloved'smessengerreturns,Ithoughtitpropertoconcludethatsubjectwithahint,thatmyspousecouldnotbeartohaveanythingsaidthatreflecteduponMissHowe;and,withadeepsigh,added,thatIhadbeenmadeveryunhappymorethanoncebytheill-willofladieswhomIhadneveroffended.

ThewidowBevisbelievedthatmightveryeasilybe.Will.bothwithoutandwithin,[forIintendheshallfallinlovewithwidowMoore'smaid,andhavesavedonehundredpoundsinmyservice,atleast,]willbegreat

helps,asthingsmayhappen.

LETTERXXVIII




Wehadhardlydined,whenmycoachman,whokeptalook-outforCaptainTomlinson,asWill.didforoldGrimes,conductedhitherthatworthygentleman,attendedbyoneservant,bothonhorseback.Healighted.Iwentouttomeethimatthedoor.

Thouknowesthissolemnappearance,andunblushingfreedom;andyetcanstnotimaginewhatadignitytherascalassumed,norhowrespectfultohimIwas.

Iledhimintotheparlour,andpresentedhimtothewomen,andthemtohim.Ithoughtithighlyimportedme(astheymightstillhavesomediffidencesaboutourmarriage,frommyfair-one'shome-pushedquestionsonthathead)toconvincethementirelyofthetruthofallIhadasserted.AndhowcouldIdothisbetter,thanbydialoguingalittlewithhimbeforethem?

DearCaptain,Ithoughtyoulong;forIhavehadaterribleconflictwithmyspouse.

Capt.IamsorrythatIamlaterthanmyintention--myaccountwithmybanker--[There'sadog,Jack!]tookmeuplongertimetoadjustthanIhadforeseen[allthetimepullingdownandstrokinghisruffles]:fortherewasasmalldifferencebetweenus--onlytwentypounds,indeed,whichIhadtakennoaccountof.

Therascalhasnotseentwentypoundsofhisownthesetenyears.

ThenhadwebetweenusthecharacteroftheHarlowefamily;Irailedagainstthemall;theCaptaintakinghisdearfriendMr.JohnHarlowe'spart;withaNotsofast!--notsofast,younggentleman!--andthelikefreeassumptions.

Heaccountedfortheiranimositybymydefiances:nogoodfamily,havingsuchacharmingdaughter,wouldcaretobedefied,insteadofcourted:hemustspeakhismind:neverwasadouble-tonguedman.--Heappealedtotheladies,ifhewerenotright?

Hegotthemonhisside.

ThecorrectionIhadgiventhebrother,hetoldme,musthaveaggravatedmatters.

Howvaliantthismademelooktothewomen!--Thesexloveusmettledfellowsattheirhearts.

Bethatasitwould,Ishouldneverloveanyofthefamilybutmyspouse;andwantingnothingfromthem,Iwouldnot,butforhersake,havegonesofarasIhadgonetowardsareconciliation.

Thiswasverygoodofme;Mrs.Mooresaid.

Verygoodindeed;MissRawlins.

Good;--Itismorethangood;itisverygenerous;saidthewidow.

Capt.Whysoitis,Imustneedssay:forIamsensiblethatMr.Lovelacehasbeenrudelytreatedbythemall--morerudely,thanitcouldhavebeenimaginedamanofhisqualityandspiritwouldhaveputupwith.Butthen,Sir,[turningtome,]Ithinkyouareamplyrewardedinsuchalady;andthatyououghttoforgivethefatherforthedaughter's



sake.

Mrs.Moore.IndeedsoIthink.

MissR.Somusteveryonethinkwhohasseenthelady.

WidowB.Afinelady,tobesure!Butshehasaviolentspirit;andsomeveryoddhumourstoo,bywhatIhaveheard.Thevalueofgoodhusbandsisnotknowntilltheyarelost!

Herconsciencethendrewasighfromher.

Lovel.Nobodymustreflectuponmyangel!--Anangelsheis--somelittleblemishes,indeed,astoherover-hastyspirit,andastoherunforgivingtemper.ButthisshehasfromtheHarlowes;instigatedtoobythatMissHowe.--Butherinnumerableexcellenciesareallherown.

Capt.Ay,talkofspirit,there'saspirit,nowyouhavenamedMissHowe![AndsoIledhimtoconfirmallIhadsaidofthatvixen.]Yetshewastobepitiedtoo;lookingwithmeaningatme.

AsIhavealreadyhinted,IhadbeforeagreedwithhimtoimputesecretloveoccasionallytoMissHowe,asthebestmeanstoinvalidateallthatmightcomefromherinmydisfavour.

Capt.Mr.Lovelace,butthatIknowyourmodesty,oryoucouldgiveareason--

Lovel.Lookingdown,andverymodest--Ican'tthinkso,Captain--butletuscallanothercause.

Everywomanpresentcouldlookmeintheface,sobashfulwasI.

Capt.Well,butastoourpresentsituation--onlyitmayn'tbeproper--lookinguponme,androunduponthewomen.

Lovel.OCaptain,youmaysayanythingbeforethiscompany--only,

Andrew,[tomynewservant,whoattendedusattable,]doyouwithdraw:thisgoodgirl[lookingatthemaid-servant]willhelpustoallwewant.

AwaywentAndrew:hewantednothiscue;andthemaidseemedpleasedatmyhonour'spreferenceofher.

Capt.Astoourpresentsituation,Isay,Mr.Lovelace--why,Sir,weshallbealluntwisted,letmetellyou,ifmyfriendMr.JohnHarloweweretoknowwhatthatis.Hewouldasmuchquestionthetruthofyourbeingmarried,astherestofthefamilydo.

Herethewomenperkeduptheirears;andwereallsilentattention.

Capt.Iaskedyoubeforeforparticulars,Mr.Lovelace;butyoudeclinedgivingthem.--Indeeditmaynotbeproperformetobeacquaintedwiththem.--ButImustown,thatitispastmycomprehension,thatawifecanresentanythingahusbandcando(thatisnotabreachofthepeace)sofarastothinkherselfjustifiedforelopingfromhim.

Lovel.CaptainTomlinson:--Sir--Idoassureyou,thatIshallbeoffended--Ishallbeextremelyconcerned--ifIhearthatwordelopingmentionedagain--



Capt.Yournicetyandyourlove,Sir,maymakeyoutakeoffence--butitismywaytocalleverythingbyitspropername,letwhowillbeoffended--

Thoucanstnotimagine,Belford,howbraveandhowindependenttherascallooked.

Capt.When,younggentleman,youshallthinkpropertogiveusparticulars,wewillfindawordforthisrashactinsoadmirablealady,thatshallpleaseyoubetter.--Yousee,Sir,thatbeingtherepresentativeofmydearfriendMr.JohnHarlowe,IspeakasfreelyasIsupposehewoulddo,ifpresent.Butyoublush,Sir--Ibegyourpardon,Mr.Lovelace:itbecomesnotamodestmantopryintothosesecrets,whichamodestmancannotreveal.

Ididnotblush,Jack;butdeniednotthecompliment,andlookeddown:thewomenseemeddelightedwithmymodesty:butthewidowBeviswasmoreinclinedtolaughatmethanpraisemeforit.

Capt.Whateverbethecauseofthisstep,(Iwillnotagain,Sir,callitelopement,sincethatharshwordwoundsyourtenderness,)Icannotbutexpressmysurpriseuponit,whenIrecollecttheaffectionatebehaviour,towhichIwaswitnessbetweenyou,whenIattendedyoulast.Over-love,Sir,Ithinkyouoncemention--butover-love[smiling]givemeleaveto

say,Sir,itisanoddcauseofquarrel--fewladies--Lovel.DearCaptain!--AndItriedtoblush.

Thewomenalsotried;andbeingmoreusedtoit,succeededbetter.--Mrs.Bevisindeedhasared-hotcountenance,andalwaysblushes.

MissR.Itsignifiesnothingtomincethematter:buttheladyaboveasgoodasdenieshermarriage.Youknow,Sir,thatshedoes;turningtome.

Capt.Denieshermarriage!Heavens!howthenhaveIimposeduponmydearfriendMr.JohnHarlowe!

Lovel.Poordear!--Butletnotherveracitybecalledintoquestion.Shewouldnotbeguiltyofawilfuluntruthfortheworld.

ThenIhadalltheirpraisesagain.

Lovel.Dearcreature!--Shethinksshehasreasonforherdenial.Youknow,Mrs.Moore;youknow,MissRawlins;whatIownedtoyouaboveasmyvow.

Ilookeddown,and,asoncebefore,turnedroundmydiamondring.

Mrs.Moorelookedawry,andwithaleeratMissRawlins,astoher

partnerinthehinted-atreference.

MissRawlinslookeddownaswellasI;hereyelidshalfclosed,asifmumblingapater-noster,meditatinghersnuff-box,thedistancebetweenhernoseandchinlengthenedbyaclose-shutmouth.

SheputmeinmindofthepiousMrs.FetherstoneatOxford,whomIpointedouttotheeonce,amongothergrotesquefigures,atSt.Mary'schurch,whitherwewenttotakeaviewofhertwosisters:hereyesshut,notdaringtotrustherheartwiththemopen;andbutjusthalf-rearing



herlids,toseewhothenextcomerwas;andfallingthemagain,whenhercuriositywassatisfied.

ThewidowBevisgazed,asifonthehuntforasecret.

TheCaptainlookedarchly,asifhalfinthepossessionofone.

Mrs.Mooreatlastbrokethebashfulsilence.Mrs.Lovelace'sbehaviour,shesaid,couldbenootherwisesowellaccountedfor,asbytheillofficesofthatMissHowe;andbytheseverityofherrelations;whichmightbuttooprobablyhaveaffectedherheadalittleattimes:adding,thatitwasverygenerousinmetogivewaytothestormwhenitwasup,ratherthantoexasperateatsuchatime.

Butletmetellyou,Sirs,saidthewidowBevis,thatisnotwhatonehusbandinathousandwouldhavedone.

Idesired,thatnopartofthisconversationmightbehintedtomyspouse;andlookedstillmorebashfully.Hergreatfault,Imustown,wasover-delicacy.

TheCaptainleeredroundhim;andsaid,hebelievedhecouldguessfromthehintsIhadgivenhimintown(ofmyover-love)andfromwhathadnowpassed,thatwehadnotconsummatedourmarriage.

OJack!howsheepishlythenlooked,orendeavouredtolook,thyfriend!howprimlygoodyMoore!howaffectedlyMissRawlins!--whilethehonestwidowBevisgazedaroundherfearless;andthoughonlysimperingwithhermouth,hereyeslaughedoutright,andseemedtochallengealaughfromeveryeyeinthecompany.

Heobserved,thatIwasaphoenixofaman,ifso;andhecouldnotbuthopethatallmatterswouldbehappilyaccommodatedinadayortwo;andthatthenheshouldhavethepleasuretoavertoheruncle,thathewaspresent,ashemightsay,onourwedding-day.

Thewomenseemedalltojoininthesamehope.

Ah,Captain!Ah,Ladies!howhappyshouldIbe,ifIcouldbringmydearspousetobeofthesamemind!

Itwouldbeaveryhappyconclusionofaveryknottyaffair,saidthewidowBevis;andIseenotwhywemaynotmakethisverynightamerryone.

TheCaptainsuperciliouslysmiledatme.Hesawplainlyenough,hesaid,thatwehadbeenatchildren'splayhitherto.Amanofmycharacter,whocouldgivewaytosuchacapriceasthis,musthaveaprodigiousvalueforhislady.Butonethinghewouldventuretotellme;andthatwasthis--that,howeverdesirousyoungskittishladiesmightbetohavetheir

wayinthisparticular,itwasaverybadsetting-outfortheman;asitgavehisbrideaveryhighproofofthepowershehadoverhim:andhewouldengage,thatnowoman,thushumoured,evervaluedthemanthemoreforit;butverymuchthecontrary--andtherewerereasonstobegivenwhysheshouldnot.

Well,well,Captain,nomoreofthissubjectbeforetheladies.--Onefeels[shruggingmyshouldersinabashfultry-to-blushmanner]thatoneissoridiculous--Ihavebeenpunishedenoughformytenderfolly.



MissRawlinshadtakenherfan,andwouldneedshideherfacebehindit--Isupposebecauseherblushwasnotquiteready.

Mrs.Moorehemmed,andlookeddown;andbythatgaveher'sover.

Whilethejollywidow,laughingout,praisedtheCaptainasoneofHudibras'smetaphysicians,repeating,

Heknewwhat'swhat,andthat'sashighAsmetaphysicwitcanfly.

ThismadeMissRawlinsblushindeed:--Fie,fie,Mrs.Bevis!criedshe,unwilling,Isuppose,tobethoughtabsolutelyignorant.

Uponthewhole,IbegantothinkthatIhadnotmadeabadexchangeofourprofessingmother,fortheunprofessingMrs.Moore.AndindeedthewomenandI,andmybelovedtoo,allmeanthesamething:weonlydifferaboutthemannerofcomingattheproposedend.

LETTERXXIX

MR.LOVELACE

[INCONTINUATION.]

Itwasnowhightimetoacquaintmyspouse,thatCaptainTomlinsonwascome.Andtherather,asthemaidtoldus,thattheladyhadaskedherifsuchagentleman[describinghim]wasnotintheparlour?

Mrs.Moorewentup,andrequested,inmyname,thatshewouldgiveusaudience.

Butshereturned,reportingmybeloved'sdesire,thatCaptainTomlinsonwouldexcuseherforthepresent.Shewasveryill.Herspiritsweretooweaktoenterintoconversationwithhim;andshemustliedown.

Iwasvexed,andatfirstextremelydisconcerted.TheCaptainwasvexedtoo.Andmyconcern,thoumayestbelieve,wasthegreateronhisaccount.

Shehadbeenverymuchfatigued,Iown.Herfitsinthemorningmusthavedisorderedher:andshehadcarriedherresentmentsohigh,thatitwasthelesswondersheshouldfindherselflow,whenherraisedspiritshadsubsided.Verylow,Imaysay;ifsinkingsareproportionedtorisings;forshehadbeenliftedupabovethestandardofacommonmortal.

TheCaptain,however,sentuphisownname,thatifhecouldbeadmitted

todrinkonedishofteawithher,heshouldtakeitforafavour:andwouldgototown,anddispatchsomenecessarybusiness,inorder,ifpossible,toleavehismorningfreetoattendher.

Butshepleadedaviolenthead-ache;andMrs.Mooreconfirmedthepleatobejust.

IwouldhavehadtheCaptainlodgetherethatnight,aswellincomplimenttohim,asintroductorytomyintentionofenteringmyselfuponmynew-takenapartment:buthishourswereoftoomuchimportanceto



himtostaytheevening.

Itwasindeedveryinconvenientforhim,hesaid,toreturninthemorning;butheiswillingtodoallinhispowertohealthisbreach,andthataswellforthesakesofmeandmylady,asforthatofhisdearfriendMr.JohnHarlowe;whomustnotknowhowfarthismisunderstandinghadgone.Hewouldthereforeonlydrinkonedishofteawiththeladiesandme.

Andaccordingly,afterhehaddoneso,andIhadhadalittleprivateconversationwithhim,hehurriedaway.

Hisfellowhadgivenhim,intheinterim,ahighcharactertoMrs.Moore'sservants:andthisreportedbythewidowBevis(whobeingnoproudwoman,ishailfellowwellmet,asthesayingis,withallheraunt'sservants)hewasafinegentleman,adiscreetgentleman,amanofsenseandbreeding,withthemall:anditwaspity,that,withsuchgreatbusinessuponhishands,heshouldbeobligedtocomeagain.

Mylifeforyour's,audiblywhisperedthewidowBevis,thereishumouraswellashead-acheinsomebody'sdecliningtoseethisworthygentleman.--Ah,Lord!howhappymightsomepeoplebeiftheywould!

Noperfecthappinessinthisworld,saidI,verygravely,andwitha

sigh;forthewidowmustknowthatIheardher.Ifwehavenotrealunhappiness,wecanmakeit,evenfromtheoverflowingsofourgoodfortune.

Verytrue,andverytrue,thetwowidows.Acharmingobservation!Mrs.Bevis.MissRawlinssmiledherassenttoit;andIthoughtshecalledmeinherheartcharmingman!forsheprofessestobeagreatadmirerofmoralobservations.

IhadhardlytakenleaveoftheCaptain,andsatdownagainwiththewomen,whenWill.came;andcallingmeout,'Sir,Sir,'saidhe,grinningwithafamiliarityinhislooksasifwhathehadtosayentitledhimtotakeliberties;'Ihavegotthefellowdown!--IhavegotoldGrimes--hah,

hah,hah,hah!--HeisattheLowerFlask--almostintheconditionofDavid'ssow,andpleaseyourhonour--[thedoghimselfnotmuchbetter]hereishisletter--from--fromMissHowe--ha,ha,ha,ha,'laughedthevarlet;holdingitfast,asiftomakeconditionswithme,andtoexcitemypraises,aswellasmyimpatience.

Icouldhaveknockedhimdown;buthewouldhavehissayout--'oldGrimesknowsnotthatIhavetheletter--Imustgetbacktohimbeforehemissesit--Ionlymakeapretencetogooutforafewminutes--but--but'--andthenthedoglaughedagain--'hemuststay--oldGrimesmuststay--tillIgobacktopaythereckoning.'

D--ntheprater;grinningrascal!Theletter!Theletter!

Hegatheredinhiswidemothe,ashecallsit,andgavemetheletter;butwithastrut,ratherthanabow;andthensidledofflikeoneofwidowSorlings'sdunghillcocks,exultingafteragreatfeatperformed.AndallthetimethatIwasholdingupthebillettothelight,totrytogetatitscontentswithoutbreakingtheseal,[for,dispatchedinahurry,ithadnocover,]therestoodhe,laughing,shrugging,playingoffhislegs;nowstrokinghisshiningchin,nowturninghishatuponhisthumb!thenleeringinmyface,flourishingwithhishead--OChrist!now-and-thencriedtherascal--



Whatjoyhasthisdoginmischief!--MorethanIcanhaveinthecompletionofmymostfavouritepurposes!--Thesefellowsareeverhappierthantheirmasters.

IwasoncethinkingtorumpleupthisbillettillIhadbrokentheseal.Youngfamilies[MissHowe'sisnotanancientone]loveostentatioussealings:anditmighthavebeensupposedtohavebeensqueezedinpiecesinoldGrimes'sbreeches-pocket.ButIwasgladtobesavedtheguiltaswellassuspicionofhavingahandinsodirtyatrick;forthusmuchofthecontents(enoughformypurpose)Iwasenabledtoscratchoutincharacterwithoutit;thefoldsdeprivingmeonlyofafewconnectingwords,whichIhavesuppliedbetweenhooks.

MyMissHarlowe,thouknowest,hadbeforechangedhernametoMissLaetitiaBeaumont.Anotheraliasnow,Jack,toit;forthisbilletwasdirectedtoherbythenameofMrs.HarriotLucas.Ihavelearnedhertobehalfarogue,thouseest.

'Icongratulateyou,mydear,withallmyheartandsoul,upon[yourescape]fromthevillain.[Ilong]fortheparticularsofall.[Mymother]isout;but,expectingherreturneveryminute,Idispatched[your]messengerinstantly.[Iwillendeavourtocomeat]Mrs.Townsend

withoutlossoftime;andwillwriteatlargeinadayortwo,ifinthattimeIcanseeher.[MeantimeI]amexcessivelyuneasyforaletterIsentyouyesterdaybyCollins,[whomusthaveleftitat]Wilson'safteryougotaway.[Itisofvery]greatimportance.[Ihopethe]villainhasitnot.Iwouldnotfortheworld[thatheshould.]Immediatelysendforit,if,bydoingso,theplaceyouareat[willnotbe]discovered.Ifhehasit,letmeknowitbysomeway[outof]hand.Ifnot,youneednotsend.

'Ever,everyour's,'A.H.'June9.'

***

OJack!whatheart's-easedoesthisinterceptiongiveme!--IsenttherascalbackwiththelettertooldGrimes,andchargedhimtodrinknodeeper.Heowned,thathewashalf-seasover,ashephrasedit.

Dog!saidI,areyounottocourtoneofMrs.Moore'smaidsto-night?--

Cryyourmercy,Sir!--Iwillbesober.--Ihadforgotthat--butoldGrimesisplaguytough,IthoughtIshouldneverhavegothimdown.

Away,villain!LetoldGrimescome,andonhorsebacktoo,tothedoor--

Heshall,andpleaseyourhonour,ifIcangethimonthesaddle,andifhecansit--

Andchargehimnottohavealighted,nortohaveseenanybody--

Enough,Sir,familiarlynoddinghishead,toshowhetookme.Andawaywentthevillain--intotheparlour,tothewomen,I.



InaquarterofanhourcameoldGrimesonhorseback,wavingtohissaddle-bow,nowonthisside,nowonthat;hishead,atothers,joiningtothatofhismoresoberbeast.

ItlookedverywelltothewomenthatImadenoefforttospeaktooldGrimes,(thoughIwished,beforethem,thatIknewthecontentsofwhathebrought;)but,onthecontrary,desiredthattheywouldinstantlyletmyspouseknowthathermessengerwasreturned.

Downsheflew,violentlyasshehadthehead-ache!

OhowIprayedforanopportunitytoberevengedofherfortheungratefultroubleshehadgiventoheruncle'sfriend!

ShetooktheletterfromoldGrimeswithherownhands,andretiredtoaninnerparlourtoreadit.

Shepresentlycameoutagaintothefellow,whohadmuchadotosithishorse--Hereisyourmoney,friend.--Ithoughtyoulong:butwhatshallIdotogetsomebodytogototownimmediatelyforme?Iseeyoucannot.

OldGrimestookhismoney,letfallhishandindoffingit;haditgivenhim,androdeaway;hiseyesisinglass,andsetinhishead,asIsawthroughthewindow,andinamannerspeechless--allhislanguagehiccup.

MydogneedednottohavegonesodeepwiththistougholdGrimes.Buttherascalwasinhiskingdomwithhim.

TheladyappliedtoMrs.Moore;shematterednottheprice.Couldamanandhorsebeengagedforher?--Onlytogoforaletterleftforher,atoneMr.Wilson's,inPall-mall.

Apoorneighbourwashired--ahorseprocuredforhim--hehadhisdirections.

InvaindidIendeavourtoengagedmybeloved,whenshewasbelow.Herhead-ache,Isuppose,returned.--She,liketherestofhersex,canbeillorwellwhenshepleases.

Iseeherdrift,thoughtI;itistohaveallherlightsfromMissHowebeforesheresolves,andtotakehermeasuresaccordingly.

Upshewentexpressinggreatimpatienceaboutthelettershehadsentfor;anddesiredMrs.MooretoletherknowifIofferedtosendanyoneofmyservantstotown--togetattheletter,Isuppose,washerfear;butshemighthavebeenquiteeasyonthathead;andyet,perhaps,wouldnot,hadsheknownthattheworthyCaptainTomlinson,(whowillbeintownbeforehermessenger,)willleavetheretheimportantletter,whichIhopewillhelptopacifyher,andreconcilehertome.

OJack,Jack!thinkestthouthatIwilltakeallthisroguishpains,and

besooftencalledvillainfornothing?

Butyet,isitnottakingpainstocomeatthefinestcreatureintheworld,notforatransitorymomentonly,butforoneofourlives!Thestruggleonly,WhetherIamtohaveherinmyownway,orinher's?

ButnowIknowthouwiltbefrightenedoutofthywitsforme--What,Lovelace!wouldestthouletherhavealetterthatwillinevitablyblowtheeup;andblowupthemother,andallhernymphs!--yetnotintendtoreform,norintendtomarry?



Patience,puppy!--Canstthounottrustthymaster?

LETTERXXX


Iwentuptomynew-takenapartment,andfelltowritingincharacter,asusual.IthoughtIhadmadegoodmyquarters,butthecruelcreature,understandingthatIintendedtotakeupmylodgingsthere,declaredwithsomuchviolenceagainstit,thatIwasobligedtosubmit,andtoacceptofanotherlodging,abouttwelvedoorsoff,whichMrs.Moorerecommended.AndalltheadvantageIcouldobtainwas,thatWill.,unknowntomyspouse,andforfearofafreak,shouldlieinthehouse.

Mrs.Moore,indeed,wasunwillingtodisobligeeitherofus.ButMissRawlinswasofopinion,thatnothingmoreoughttobeallowedme:andyetMrs.Mooreowned,thattherefusalwasastrangepieceoftyrannytoahusband,ifIwereahusband.

IhadagoodmindtomakeMissRawlinssmartforit.ComeandseeMissRawlins,Jack.--Ifthoulikesther,I'llgetherfortheewithawet-finger,asthesayingis!

ThewidowBevisindeedstickledhardforme.[Aninnocent,orinjuredman,willhavefriendseverywhere.]Shesaid,thattobearmuchwithsomewives,wastobeobligedtobearmore;andIreflected,withasigh,thattamespiritsmustalwaysbeimposedupon.Andthen,inmyheart,Irenewedmyvowsofrevengeuponthishaughtyandperversebeauty.

Thesecondfellowcamebackfromtownaboutnineo'clock,withMissHowe'sletterofWednesdaylast.'Collins,itseems,whenheleftit,haddesired,thatitmightbesafelyandspeedilydeliveredintoMiss

LaetitiaBeaumont'sownhands.ButWilson,understandingthatneithershenorIwereintown,[hecouldnotknowofourdifferencethoumustthink,]resolvedtotakecareofittillourreturn,inordertogiveitintooneofourownhands;andnowdeliveredittohermessenger.'

Thiswastoldher.Wilson,Idoubtnot,isinherfavouruponit.

Shetooktheletterwithgreateagerness;openeditinahurry,[amgladshedid;yet,Ibelieve,allwasright,]beforeMrs.MooreandMrs.Bevis,[MissRawlinswasgonehome;]andsaid,shewouldnotfortheworldthatIshouldhavehadthatletter,forthesakeofherdearfriendthewriter,whohadwrittentoherveryuneasilyaboutit.

Herdearfriend!repeatedMrs.Bevis,whenshetoldmethis:--suchmischief-makersarealwaysdeemeddearfriendstilltheyarefoundout!

ThewidowsaysthatIamthefinestgentlemansheeverbeheld.

Ihavefoundawarmkissnow-and-thenverykindlytaken.

Imightbeaverywickedfellow,Jack,ifIweretodoallthemischiefinmypower.ButIamevermoreforquittingatoo-easypreytoreptilerakes!Whatbutdifficulty,(thoughtheladyisanangel,)engagesmeto



somuchperseverancehere?--Andhere,conquerordie!isnowthedetermination!

***

Ihavejustnowpartedwiththishonestwidow.Shecalleduponmeatmynewlodgings.Itoldher,thatIsawImustbefurtherobligedtoherinthecourseofthisdifficultaffair.Shemustallowmetomakeherahandsomepresentwhenallwashappilyover.ButIdesiredthatshewouldtakenonoticeofwhatshouldpassbetweenus,noteventoheraunt;forthatshe,asIsaw,wasinthepowerofMissRawlins:andMissRawlins,beingamaidengentlewoman,knewnottherightandthefitinmatrimonialmatters,asshe,mydearwidow,did.

Verytrue:Howshouldshe?saidMrs.Bevis,proudofknowing--nothing!But,forherpart,shedesirednopresent.Itwasenoughifshecouldcontributetoreconcilemanandwife,anddisappointmischief-makers.Shedoubtednot,thatsuchanenviouscreatureasMissHowewasgladthatMrs.Lovelacehadeloped--jealousyandlovewasOldNick!

See,Belford,howcharminglythingsworkbetweenmeandmynewacquaintance,thewidow!--Whoknows,butthatshemay,afteralittlefartherintimacy,(thoughIambanishedthehouseonnights,)contrivea

midnightvisitformetomyspouse,whenallisstillandfastasleep?Wherecanawomanbesafe,whohasonceenteredthelistswithacontrivingandintrepidlover?

Butastothisletter,methinkestthousayest,ofMissHowe?

Iknewthouwouldestbeuneasyforme.ButdidnotItelltheethatIhadprovidedforeverything?ThatIalwaystookcaretokeepsealsentire,andtopreservecovers?*Wasitnoteasythen,thinkestthou,tocontriveashorterletteroutofalonger;andtocopytheverywords?


Icantellthee,itwassowellordered,that,notbeingsuspectedtohavebeeninmyhands,itwasnoteasytofindmeout.Haditbeenmybeloved'shand,therewouldhavebeennoimitatingitforsuchalength.Herdelicateandevenmindisseenintheverycutofherletters.MissHowe'shandisnobadone,butitisnotsoequalandregular.Thatlittledevil'snaturalimpatiencehurryingonherfingers,gave,Isuppose,fromthebeginning,herhandwriting,aswellastherestofher,itsfitsandstarts,andthosepeculiarities,which,likestrongmuscularlinesinaface,neitherthepen,northepencil,canmiss.

HastthouamindtotseewhatitwasIpermittedMissHowetowritetoherlovelyfriend?Whythen,readithere,soextractedfromher'sofWednesdaylast,withafewadditionsofmyown.Theadditionsunderscored.*

*Editor'snote:Inplaceofitalics,asintheoriginal,Ihavesubstitutedhooks[].



MYDEARESTFRIEND,

YouwillperhapsthinkthatIhavebeentoolongsilent.ButIhadbeguntwolettersatdifferenttimessincemylast,andwrittenagreatdealeachtime;andwithspiritenoughIassureyou;incensedasIwasagainsttheabominablewretchyouarewith;particularlyonreadingyour'softhe21stofthepastmonth.

TheFIRSTIintendedtokeepopentillIcouldgiveyousomeaccountofmyproceedingswithMrs.Townsend.ItwassomedaysbeforeIsawher:andthisintervenientspacegivingmetimetoreperusewhatIhadwritten,Ithoughtitpropertolaythataside,andtowriteinastylealittlelessfervent;foryouwouldhaveblamedme,Iknew,forthefreedomofsomeofmyexpressions,(execrations,ifyouplease.)AndwhenIhadgoneagoodwayintheSECOND,andchangeyourprospects,onhiscommunicatingtoyouMissMontague'sletter,andhisbetterbehaviour,occasioningachangeinyourmind,Ilaidthatasidealso.AndinthisuncertaintythoughtIwouldwaittoseetheissueofaffairsbetweenyoubeforeIwroteagain;believingthatallwouldsoonbedecidedonewayorother.

***

[HereIwasforcedtobreakoff.Iamtoolittlemyownmistress:--Mymother*isalwaysupanddown--andwatchingasifIwerewritingtoafellow.WhatneedI(sheasksme,)lockmyselfin,**ifIamonlyreadingpastcorrespondencies?Forthatismypretence,whenshecomespokinginwithherfacesharpenedtoanedge,asImaysay,byacuriositythatgiveshermorepainthanpleasure.--TheLordforgiveme;butIbelieveIshallhuffhernexttimeshecomesin.]

*SeeLetterXX.ofthisvolume.**Ibid.

***

Doyouforgivemetoo,mydear--mymotherought;becauseshesaysIammyfather'sgirl;andbecauseIamsureIamher's.

[Uponmylife,mydear,Iamsometimesofopinion,thatthisvilemanwascapableofmeaningyoudishonour.WhenIlookbackuponhispastconduct,Icannothelp,andverilybelieve,thathehaslaidasidesuchthoughts.MyreasonsforbothopinionsIwillgiveyou.]

[Forthefirst:to-wit,thathehaditonceinhisheadtotakeyouatadvantageifhecould,Iconsider*that]pride,revenge,andadelighttotreadinunbeatenpaths,areprincipalingredientsinthecharacterofthisfinishedlibertine.Hehatesallyourfamily,yourselfexcepted--yetisasavageinlove.Hispride,andthecreditwhichafewplausiblequalities,sprinkledamonghisodiousones,havegivenhim,havesecuredhimtoogoodareceptionfromoureye-judging,ourundistinguishing,ourself--flattering,ourtoo-confidingsex,tomakeassiduityandobsequiousness,andaconquestofhisunrulypassions,anypartofhisstudy.



Hehassomereasonforhisanimositytoallthemen,andtoonewomanofyourfamily.Hehasalwaysshownyou,andhisownfamilytoo,thatheprefershispridetohisinterest.Heisadeclaredmarriage-hater;anotoriousintriguer;fullofhisinventions,andgloryinginthem.--Ashisvanityhadmadehimimaginethatnowomancouldbeproofagainsthislove,nowonderthathestruggledlikealionheldintoils,*againstapassionthathethoughtnotreturned.**Hence,perhaps,itisnotdifficulttobelieve,thatitbecamepossibleforsuchawretchasthistogivewaytohisoldprejudicesagainstmarriage;andtothatrevengewhichhadalwaysbeenafirstpassionwithhim.***

*SeeLetterXX.ofthisvolume.**Ibid.***Ibid.

[Andhencewemayaccountfor]hisdelays--histeasingways--hisbringingyoutobearwithhislodginginthesamehouse--hismakingyoupasstotheotherpeopleofitashiswife--hisbringingyouintothecompanyofhislibertinecompanions--theattemptofimposinguponyouthatMissPartingtonforabedfellow,&c.

[Myreasonsforacontraryopinion,towit,thatheisnowresolvedtodoyouallthejusticeinhispowertodoyou,]arethese:--Thatheseesthatallhisownfamily*havewarmlyengagedthemselvesinyourcause:thatthehorridwretchlovesyou;withsuchalove,however,asHerodlovedhisMariamne:that,oninquiry,Ifindittobetrue,thatCounsellorWilliams,(whomMr.Hickmanknowstobeamanofeminenceinhisprofession,)hasactuallyasgoodasfinishedthesettlements:thattwodraughtsofthemhavebeenmade;oneavowedlytobesenttothisveryCaptainTomlinson:--andIfind,thatalicensehasactuallybeenmorethanonceendeavouredtobeobtained,andthatdifficultieshavehithertobeenmade,equallytoLovelace'svexationanddisappointment.Mymother'sproctor,whoisveryintimatewiththeproctorappliedtobythewretch,hascomeatthisinformationinconfidence;andhints,that,as

Mr.Lovelaceisamanofhighfortunes,thesedifficultieswillprobablybegotover.


[IhadonceresolvedtomakestrictinquiryaboutTomlinson;andstill,ifyouwill,youruncle'sfavouritehousekeepermaybesoundedatadistance.]

[Iknowthatthematterissolaid,*]thatMrs.HodgesissupposedtoknownothingofthetreatysetonfootbymeansofCaptainTomlinson.

Butyouruncleisan--


Butyouruncleisanoldman;*andoldmenimaginethemselvestobeunderobligationtotheirparamours,ifyoungerthanthemselves,andseldomkeepanythingfromtheirknowledge.--Yet,methinks,therecanbenoneed;sinceTomlinson,asyoudescribehim,issogoodaman,andsomuch



ofagentleman;theendtobeansweredbyhisbeinganimpostorsomuchmorethannecessary,ifLovelacehasvillanyinhishead.--AndthuswhathecommunicatedtoyouofMr.Hickman'sapplicationtoyouruncle,andofMrs.Norton'stoyourmother(someofwhichparticularsIamsatisfiedhisvileagentJosephLemancouldnotrevealtohisvileremployer);hispushingonthemarriage-dayinthenameofyouruncle;whichitcouldnotansweranywickedpurposeforhimtodo;andwhathewritesofyouruncle'sproposal,tohaveitthoughtthatyouweremarriedfromthetimethatyouhadlivedinonehousetogether;andthattobemadetoagreewiththetimeofMr.Hickman'svisittoyouruncle;theinsistingonatrustyperson'sbeingpresentattheceremony,atthatuncle'snomination--thesethingsmakeme[assuredthathenowatlastmeanshonourably.]


[Butifanyunexpecteddelaysshouldhappenonhisside,acquaintme,mydear,withtheverystreetwhereMrs.Sinclairlives;andwhereMrs.Fretchville'shouseissituated(whichIcannotfindthatyouhaveevermentionedinyourformerletters--whichisalittleodd);andIwillmakestrictinquiriesofthem,andofTomlinsontoo;andIwill(ifyourheartwillletyoutakemyadvice)soonprocureyouarefugefromhimwithMrs.Townsend.]

[ButwhydoInow,whenyouseemtobeinsogoodatrain,puzzleandperplexyouwithmyretrospections?Andyettheymaybeofusetoyou,ifanydelayhappenonhispart.]

[ButthatIthinkcannotwellbe.Whatyouhavethereforenowtodo,issotobehavetothisproud-spiritedwretch,asmaybanishfromhismindallremembranceof]pastdisobligations,*andtoreceivehisaddresses,asthoseofabetrothedlover.Youwillincurthecensureofpruderyandaffectation,ifyoukeephimatthatdistancewhichyouhavehitherto[kepthimat.]Hissudden(andassuddenlyrecovered)illnesshasgivenhimanopportunitytofindoutthatyoulovehim(Alas!mydear,Iknewyoulovedhim!)Hehasseemedtochangehisnature,andisallloveand

gentleness.[Andnomorequarrelsnow,Ibeseechyou.]


[Iamveryangrywithhim,nevertheless,forthefreedomswhichhetookwithyourperson;*andIthinksomeguardisnecessary,asheiscertainlyanencroacher.Butindeedallmenareso;andyouaresuchacharmingcreature,andhavekepthimatsuchadistance!--Butnomoreofthissubject.Only,mydear,benotover-nice,nowyouaresonearthestate.Youseewhatdifficultiesyoulaidyourselfunder,]whenTomlinson'slettercalledyouagaininto[thewretch's]company.

*SeeLetterXI.ofthisvolume.

Ifyoumeetwithnoimpediments,nonewcausesofdoubt,*yourreputationintheeyeoftheworldisconcerned,thatyoushouldbehis,[and,asyourunclerightlyjudges,bethoughttohavebeenhisbeforenow.]Andyet,[letmetellyou,]I[canhardly]bear[tothink,]thattheselibertinesshouldberewardedfortheirvillanywiththebestofthesex,



whentheworstofitaretoogoodforthem.


IshallsendthislongletterbyCollins,*whochangeshisdaytoobligeme.AsnoneofourlettersbyWilson'sconveyancehavemiscarried,whenyouhavebeeninmoreapparently-disagreeablesituationsthanyouareinatpresent,[Ihavenodoubt]thatthiswillgosafe.


MissLardner*(whomyouhaveseenhathercousinBiddulph's)sawyouatSt.James'schurchonSundaywasfortnight.Shekeptyouinhereyeduringthewholetime;butcouldnotonceobtainthenoticeofyour's,thoughshecourtesiedtoyoutwice.Shethoughttopayhercomplimentstoyouwhentheservicewasover;forshedoubtednotbutyouweremarried--andforanoddreason--becauseyoucametochurchbyyourself.Everyeye,(asusual,whereveryouare,)shesaidwasuponyou;andthisseemingtogiveyouhurry,andyoubeingnearerthedoorthanshe,youslidoutbeforeshecouldgettoyou.Butsheorderedherservantto

followyoutillyouwerehoused.Thisservantsawyoustepintoachairwhichwaitedforyou;andyouorderedthementocarryyoutotheplacewheretheytookyouup.She[describesthehouse]asaverygenteelhouse,andfittoreceivepeopleoffashion:[andwhatmakesmementionthis,is,thatperhapsyouwillhaveavisitfromher;ormessage,atleast.]


[SothatyouhaveMr.Doleman'stestimonytothecreditofthehouseandpeopleyouarewith;andheis]amanoffortune,andsome

reputation;formerlyarakeindeed;butmarriedtoawomanoffamily;andhavinghadapalsyblow,onewouldthinkapenitent.*Youhave[alsoMr.Mennell'satleastpassivetestimony;Mr.]Tomlinson's;[andnow,lastly,MissLardner's;sothattherewillbethelessneedforinquiry:butyouknowmybusyandinquisitivetemper,aswellasmyaffectionforyou,andmyconcernforyourhonour.Butalldoubtwillsoonbelostincertainty.]

[NeverthelessImustadd,thatIwouldhaveyou]commandmeup,ifIcanbeoftheleastserviceorpleasuretoyou.*Ivaluenotfame;Ivaluenotcensure;norevenlifeitself,Iverilythink,asIdoyourhonour,andyourfriendship--Forisnotyourhonourmyhonour?Andisnotyourfriendshiptheprideofmylife?


MayHeavenpreserveyou,mydearestcreature,inhonourandsafety,istheprayer,thehourlyprayer,of

Yourever-faithfulandaffectionate,ANNAHOWE.



THURSDAYMORN.5.

Ihavewrittenallnight.[Excuseindifferentwriting;mycrow-quillsareworntothestumps,andImustgetanewsupply.]

***

Theseladiesalwayswritewithcrow-quills,Jack.

Ifthouartcapableoftakinginallmyprovidences,inthisletter,thouwiltadmiremysagacityandcontrivancealmostasmuchasIdomyself.Thouseest,thatMissLardner,Mrs.Sinclair,Tomlinson,Mrs.Fretchville,Mennell,areallmentionedinit.Myfirstlibertieswithherpersonalso.[Modesty,modesty,Belford,Idoubt,ismoreconfinedtotime,place,andoccasion,evenbythemostdelicateminds,thanthesemindswouldhaveitbelievedtobe.]Andwhyallthesetakennoticeofbymefromthegenuineletter,butforfearsomefutureletterfromthevixenshouldescapemyhands,inwhichshemightrefertothesenames?And,ifnoneofthemweretohavebeenfoundinthisthatistopassforher's,Imightberoutedhorseandfoot,asLordM.wouldphraseitinalikecase.

Devilishhard(andyetImaythankmyself)tobeputtoallthisplagueandtrouble:--Andforwhatdostthouask?--OJack,foratriumphofmorevaluetomebeforehandthananimperialcrown!--Don'taskmethevalueofitamonthhence.Butwhatindeedisanimperialcrownitselfwhenamanisusedtoit?

MissHowemightwellbeanxiousaboutthelettershewrote.Hersweetfriend,fromwhatIhaveletpassofher's,hasreasontorejoiceinthethoughtthatitfellnotintomyhands.

Andnowmustallmycontrivancesbesetatwork,tointercepttheexpectedletterfromMissHowe:whichis,asIsuppose,todirectherto

aplaceofsafety,andoutofmyknowledge.Mrs.Townsendis,nodoubt,inthiscase,tosmuggleheroff:Ihopethevillain,asIamsofrequentlycalledbetweenthesetwogirls,willbeabletomanagethispoint.

Butwhat,perhaps,thouaskest,iftheladyshouldtakeitintoherhead,bytheconnivanceofMissRawlins,toquitthishouseprivatelyinthenight?

Ihavethoughtofthis,Jack.DoesnotWill.lieinthehouse?AndisnotthewidowBevismyfastfriend?

LETTERXXXI

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SATURDAY,SIXO'CLOCK,JUNE10.

TheladygaveWill.'ssweetheartaletterlastnighttobecarriedtothepost-house,asthismorning,directedforMissHowe,undercovertoHickman.Idaresayneithercovernorletterwillbeseentohavebeen



opened.Thecontentsbuteightlines--Toown--'Thereceiptofherdouble-datedletterinsafety;andreferringtoalongerletter,whichsheintendstowrite,whensheshallhaveaquieterheart,andlesstremblingfingers.Butmentionssomethingtohavehappened[Mydetectinghershemeans]whichhasgivenherverygreatflutters,confusions,andapprehensions:butwhichshewillwaittheissueof[Somehopesformehence,Jack!]beforeshegivesherfreshperturbationorconcernonheraccount.--Shetellsherhowimpatientsheshallbeforhernext,'&c.

Now,Belford,IthoughtitwouldbebutkindinmetosaveMissHowe'sconcernonthesealarminghints;sincethecuriosityofsuchaspiritmusthavebeenprodigiouslyexcitedbythem.Havingthereforesogoodacopytoimitate,Iwrote;and,takingoutthatofmybeloved,putunderthesamecoverthefollowingshortbillet;inscriptiveandconclusivepartsofitinherownwords.

HAMPSTEAD,TUES.EVEN.

MYEVER-DEARMISSHOWE,

Afewlinesonly,tillcalmerspiritsandquieterfingersbegrantedme,andtillIcangetovertheshockwhichyourintelligencehasgivenme--toacquaintyou--thatyourkindlongletterofWednesday,and,asImay

say,ofThursdaymorning,iscomesafetomyhands.Onreceiptofyour'sbymymessengertoyou,IsentforitfromWilson's.There,thankHeaven!itlay.MaythatHeavenrewardyouforallyourpast,andforallyourintendedgoodnessto

Yourfor-everobliged,CL.HARLOWE.

***

Itookgreatpainsinwritingthis.Itcannot,Ihope,besuspected.

Herhandissoverydelicate.Yether'siswrittenlessbeautifullythansheusuallywrites:andIhopeMissHowewillallowsomewhatforhurryofspirits,andunsteadyfingers.

MyconsiderationforMissHowe'seaseofmindextendedstillfartherthantotheinstanceIhavementioned.

Thatthisbilletmightbewithherassoonaspossible,(andbeforeitcouldhavereachedHickmanbythepost,)IdispatcheditawaybyaservantofMowbray's.MissHowe,hadtherebeenanyfailureordelay,might,asthouwiltthink,havecommunicatedheranxietiestoherfugitivefriend;andshetomeperhapsinawayIshouldnothavebeenpleasedwith.

Oncemorewiltthouwonderinglyquestion--Allthispainsforasinglegirl?

Yes,Jack--ButisnotthisgirlaCLARISSA?--Andwhoknows,butkindfortune,asarewardformyperseverance,maytossmeinhercharmingfriend?Lesslikelythingshavecometopass,Belford.AndtobesureIshallhaveher,ifIresolveuponit.



LETTERXXXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.EIGHTO'CLOCK,SAT.MORN.JUNE10.

IamcomebackfromMrs.Moore's,whitherIwentinordertoattendmycharmer'scommands.Butnoadmittance--averybadnight.

Doubtlessshemustbeasmuchconcernedthatshehascarriedherresentmentssoveryfar,asIhavereasontobethatImadesuchpooruseoftheopportunityIhadonWednesdaynight.

Butnow,Jack,forabriefreviewofmypresentsituation;andaslighthintortwoofmyprecautions.

Ihaveseenthewomenthismorning,andfindthemhalf-right,half-doubting.

MissRawlins'sbrothertellsher,thatshelivesatMrs.Moore's.

Mrs.MoorecandonothingwithoutMissRawlins.

Peoplewhokeeplodgingsatpublicplacesexpecttogetbyeveryonewhocomesintotheirpurlieus.Thoughnotpermittedtolodgetheremyself,Ihaveengagedalltheroomsshehastospare,totheverygarrets;andthat,asIhavetoldtheebefore,foramonthcertain,andatherownprice,boardincluded;myspouse'sandall:butshemustnotatpresentknowit.SoIhopeIhaveMrs.Moorefastbytheinterest.

This,devil-like,issuitingtemptationstoinclinations.

Ihavealwaysobserved,and,Ibelieve,Ihavehintedasmuchformerly,*thatalldealers,thoughbutforpins,maybetakeninbycustomersforpins,soonerthanbyadirectbribeoftentimesthevalue;especiallyifpretenderstoconscience:fortheofferofabribewouldnotonlygive

roomforsuspicion,butwouldstartleandalarmtheirscrupulousness;whileahighpricepaidforwhatyoubuy,isbutsubmittingtobecheatedinthemethodofthepersonmakesaprofessiontogetby.HaveInotsaidthathumannatureisarogue?**--AnddonotIknowthatitis?

*SeeVol.III.LetterXXXIV.**SeeVol.III.LetterXXXV.andVol.IV.LetterXXI.

Togiveahigherinstance,howmanyproudsenators,intheyear1720,wereinduced,bypresentsorsubscriptionofSouth-seastock,tocontributetoaschemebigwithnationalruin;whoyetwouldhavespurned

themanwhoshouldhavepresumedtoofferthemeventwicethesumcertainthattheyhadachancetogainbythestock?--Buttoreturntomyreviewandtomyprecautions.

MissRawlinsfluctuates,asshehearsthelady'sstory,orasshehearsmine.Somewhatofaninfidel,Idoubt,isthisMissRawlins.Ihavenotyetconsideredherfoible.ThenexttimeIseeher,Iwilltakeparticularnoticeofallthemolesandfrecklesinhermind;andtheninferandapply.



ThewidowBevis,asIhavetoldthee,isallmyown.

MymanWill.liesinthehouse.Myothernewfellowattendsuponme;andcannotthereforebequitestupid.

AlreadyisWill.overheadandearsinlovewithoneofMrs.Moore'smaids.Hewasstruckwithherthemomenthesethiseyesuponher.Arawcountrywenchtoo.Butallwomen,fromthecountesstothecook-maid,areputintohighgoodhumourwiththemselveswhenamanistakenwiththematfirstsight.Betheyeversoplain[nowomancanbeugly,Jack!]they'llfindtwentygoodreasons,besidesthegreatone(forsake'ssake)bythehelpoftheglasswithout(andperhapsinspiteofit)andconceitwithin,tojustifythehonestfellow'scaption.

'Theroguehassaved150Â£.inmyservice.'--Moreby50thanIbidhimsave.Nodoubt,hethinkshemighthavedoneso;thoughIbelievenotworthagroat.'ThebestofmastersI--passionate,indeed;butsoonappeased.'

Thewenchisextremelykindtohimalready.Theothermaidisalsoveryciviltohim.Hehasahusbandforherinhiseye.Shecannotbutsay,thatMr.Andrew,myotherservant[thegirlisforfixingtheperson]isaverywellspokencivilyoungman.

'Wecommonfolkshaveourjoys,andpleaseyourhonour,sayshonestJosephLeman,likeasourbettershave.'*AndtruesayshonestJoseph--didIprefereasetodifficulty,Ishouldenvytheselow-bornsinnerssomeoftheirjoys.

*SeeVol.III.LetterXLVII.

ButifWill.hadnotmadeamorouspretensionstothewenches,weallknow,thatservants,unitedinonecommoncompare-notecause,areintimatethemomenttheyseeoneanother--greatgenealogiststoo;theyknowimmediatelythewholekinandkin'skinofeachother,though

dispersedoverthethreekingdoms,aswellasthegenealogiesandkin'skinofthosewhomtheyserve.

Butmyprecautionsendnothere.

OJack,withsuchaninvention,whatoccasionhadItocarrymybelovedtoMrs.Sinclair's?

Myspousemayhavefartheroccasionforthemessengerswhomshedispatched,onetoMissHowe,theothertoWilson's.WithoneoftheseWill.isalreadywell-acquainted,asthouhastheard--tomingleliquoristominglesoulswiththesefellows;withtheothermessengerhewillsoonbeacquainted,ifhebenotalready.

TheCaptain'sservanthashisusesandinstructionsassignedhim.Ihavehintedatsomeofthemalready.*Healsoservesamosthumaneandconsideratemaster.Ilovetomakeeverybodyrespectedtomypower.

*SeeLetterXXIX.ofthisvolume.

Thepost,generalandpenny,willbestrictlywatchedlikewise.



MissHowe'sCollinsisrememberedtobedescribed.MissHowe'sandHickman'sliveriesalso.

JamesHarloweandSingletonarewarnedagainst.Iamtobeacquaintedwithanyinquirythatshallhappentobemadeaftermyspouse,whetherbyhermarriedormaidenname,beforesheshallbetoldofit--andthisthatImayhaveitinmypowertopreventmischief.

IhaveorderedMowbrayandTourville(andBelton,ifhishealthpermit)totaketheirquartersatHampsteadforaweek,withtheirfellowstoattendthem.Isparetheeforthepresent,becauseofthyprivateconcerns.Butholdthyselfincheerfulreadiness,however,asamarkofthyallegiance.

Astomyspouseherself,hasshenotreasontobepleasedwithmeforhavingpermittedhertoreceiveMissHowe'sletterfromWilson's?Aplaincase,eitherthatIamnodeepplotter,orthatIhavenofartherviewsthantomakemypeacewithherforanoffencesoslightandsoaccidental.

MissHowesays,thoughprefacedwithanalas!thathercharmingfriendlovesme:shemustthereforeyearnafterthisreconciliation--prospectssofair--ifsheshowedmeanycompassion;seemedinclinabletospare

me,andtomakethemostfavourableconstruction:Icannotbutsay,thatitwouldbeimpossiblenottoshowhersome.But,tobeinsultedanddefiedbyarebelinone'spower,whatprincecanbearthat?

ButImustreturntothesceneofaction.Imustkeepthewomensteady.IhadnoopportunitytotalktomyworthyMrs.Bevisinprivate.

Tomlinson,adog,notcomeyet!

LETTERXXXIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FROMMYAPARTMENTSATMRS.MOORE'S.

MissRawlinsatherbrothers;Mrs.Mooreengagedinhouseholdmatters;widowBevisdressing;Ihavenothingtodobutwrite.ThiscursedTomlinsonnotyetarrived!--Nothingtobedonewithouthim.

Ithinkheshallcomplaininprettyhighlanguageofthetreatmenthemetwithyesterday.'Whatareouraffairstohim?Hecanhavenoviewbuttoserveus.Crueltosendbacktotown,un-audienced,unseen,amanofhisbusinessandimportance.Heneverstirsa-foot,butsomethingofconsequencedependsuponhismovements.Aconfoundedthingtotrifle

thushumoursomelywithsuchagentleman'smoments!--Thesewomenthink,thatallthebusinessoftheworldmuststandstillfortheirfigaries[agoodfemaleword,Jack!]thegreatesttriflersinthecreation,tofancythemselvesthemostimportantbeingsinit--marrycomeup!asIhaveheardgoodySorlingssaytoherservants,whenshehasratedatthemwithmingledangeranddisdain.'

Afterall,methinksIwantthosetostications[thouseesthowwomen,andwomen'swords,fillmymind]tobeover,happilyover,thatImaysitdownquietly,andreflectuponthedangersIhavepassedthrough,andthe



troublesIhaveundergone.Ihaveareflectingmind,asthouknowest;buttheverywordreflectingimpliesallgotover.

Whatbriarsandthornsdoesthewretchrushinto(ascratchedfaceandtatteredgarmentstheunavoidableconsequence)whowillneedsbeforstrikingoutanewpaththroughovergrownunderwood;quittingthatbeatenoutforhimbythosewhohavetravelledthesameroadbeforehim!

***

AvisitfromthewidowBevis,inmyownapartment.Shetellsme,thatmyspousehadthoughtslastnight,afterIwasgonetomylodgings,ofremovingfromMrs.Moore's.

Ialmostwishshehadattemptedtodoso.

MissRawlins,itseems,whowasappliedtouponit,dissuadedherfromit.

Mrs.Moorealso,thoughshedidnotownthatWill.layinthehouse,(orrathersetupinit,courting,)setbeforeherthedifficulties,which,inheropinion,shewouldhavetogetclearoff,withoutmyknowledge;

assuringher,thatshecouldbenowheremoresafethanwithher,tillshehadfixedwhithertogo.Andtheladyherselfrecollected,thatifshewent,shemightmisstheexpectedletterfromherdearfriendMissHowe!which,assheowned,wastodirectherfuturesteps.

Shemustalsosurelyhavesomecuriositytoknowwhatheruncle'sfriendhadtosaytoherfromheruncle,contemptuouslyassheyesterdaytreatedamanofhisimportance.Norcouldshe,Ishouldthink,beabsolutelydeterminedtoputherselfoutofthewayofreceivingthevisitsoftwooftheprincipalladiesofmyfamily,andtobreakentirelywithmeinthefaceofthemall.--Besides,whithercouldshehavegone?--Moreover,MissHowe'slettercoming(afterherelopement)sosafelytoherhands,mustsurelyputherintoamoreconfidingtemperwithme,andwithevery

oneelse,thoughshewouldnotimmediatelyownit.

Butthesegoodfolkshavesolittlecharity!--Aresuchseverecensurers!--Yetwhoisabsolutelyperfect?--Itweretobewished,however,thattheywouldbesomodestastodoubtthemselvessometimes:thenwouldtheyallowforothers,asothers(excellentastheyimaginethemselvestobe)mustforthem.

SATURDAY,ONEO'CLOCK.

Tomlinsonatlastiscome.Forcedtoridefivemilesabout(thoughIshallimputehisdelaytogreatandimportantbusiness)toavoidthe

sightoftwoorthreeimpertinentrascals,who,littlethinkingwhoseaffairshewasemployedin,wantedtoobtrudethemselvesuponhim.IthinkIwillmakethisfelloweasy,ifhebehavetomylikinginthisaffair.

Isentupthemomenthecame.

Shedesiredtobeexcusedreceivinghisvisittillfourthisafternoon.

Intolerable!--Noconsideration!--Noneatallinthissex,whentheir



cursedhumoursareintheway!--Pay-day,pay-hour,rather,willcome!--Oh!thatitweretobethenext!

TheCaptainisinapet.Whocanblamehim?Eventhewomenthinkamanofhisconsequence,andgenerouslycomingtoserveus,hardlyused.Wouldtoheavenshehadattemptedtogetofflastnight!Thewomennotmyenemies,whoknowsbutthehusband'sexertedauthoritymighthavemetwithsuchconnivance,asmighthaveconcludedeitherincarryingherbacktoherformerlodgings,orinconsummationatMrs.Moore's,inspiteofexclamations,fits,andtherestofthefemaleobsecrations?

Mybelovedhasnotappearedtoanybodythisday,excepttoMrs.Moore.Is,itseems,extremelylow:unfitfortheinterestingconversationthatistobeheldintheafternoon.LongstohearfromherdearfriendMissHowe--yetcannotexpectaletterforadayortwo.Hasabadopinionofallmankind.--Nowonder!--Excellentcreatureassheis!withsuchafather,suchuncles,suchabrother,asshehas!

Howdoesshelook?

Betterthancouldbeexpectedfromyesterday'sfatigue,andlastnight'sillrest.

Thesetenderdovesknownot,tillputtoit,whattheycanbear;

especiallywhenengagedinloveaffairs;andtheirattentionwhollyengrossed.Butthesexlovebusyscenes.Stilllifeistheiraversion.Awomanwillcreateastorm,ratherthanbewithoutone.Sothattheycanpresideinthewhirlwind,anddirectit,theyarehappy.--Butmybeloved'smisfortuneis,thatshemustliveintumult;yetneitherraisethemherself,norbeabletocontroulthem.

LETTERXXXIV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SATNIGHT,JUNE10.

Whatwillbetheissueofallmyplotsandcontrivances,deviltakemeifIamabletodivine.ButIwillnot,asLordM.wouldsay,forestallmyownmarket.

Atfour,theappointedhour,Isentup,todesireadmittanceintheCaptain'snameandmyown.

ShewouldwaitupontheCaptainpresently;[notuponme!]andintheparlour,ifitwerenotengaged.

Thedining-roombeingmine,perhapsthatwasthereasonofhernamingthe

parlour--mightyniceagain,ifso!Nogoodsignforme,thoughtI,thisstiffpunctilio.

Intheparlour,withmeandtheCaptain,wereMrs.Moore,MissRawlins,andMrs.Bevis.

Thewomensaid,theywouldwithdrawwhentheladycamedown.

Lovel.Not,exceptshechoosesyoushould,Ladies.--Peoplewhoaresomuchabove-boardasIam,neednotmakesecretsofanyoftheiraffairs.



Besides,youthreeladiesarenowacquaintedwithallourconcerns.

Capt.Ihavesomethingstosaytoyourlady,thatperhapsshewouldnotherselfchoosethatanybodyshouldhear;notevenyou,Mr.Lovelace,asyouandherfamilyarenotuponsuchagoodfootofunderstandingasweretobewished.

Lovel.Well,well,Captain,Imustsubmit.Giveusasigntowithdraw,andwewillwithdraw.

Itwasbetterthattheexclusionofthewomenshouldcomefromhim,thanfromme.

Capt.Iwillbow,andwavemyhand,thus--whenIwishtobealonewiththelady.Heruncledotesuponher.Ihope,Mr.Lovelace,youwillnotmakeareconciliationmoredifficult,fortheearnestnesswhichmydearfriendshowstobringittobear.ButindeedImusttellyou,asItoldyoumorethanoncebefore,thatIamafraidyouhavemadelighteroftheoccasionofthismisunderstandingtome,thanitoughttohavebeenmade.

Lovel.Ihope,CaptainTomlinson,youdonotquestionmyveracity!

Capt.Ibegyourpardon,Mr.Lovelace--butthosethingswhichwemenmaythinklightlyof,maynotbelighttoawomanofdelicacy.--Andthen,

ifyouhaveboundyourselfbyavow,youought--MissRawlinsbridling,herlipsclosed,(buthermouthstretchedtoasmileofapprobation,thelongerfornotbuttoning,)tacitlyshowedherselfpleasedwiththeCaptainforhisdelicacy.

Mrs.Moorecouldspeak--Verytrue,however,wasallshesaid,withamotionofherheadthatexpressedthebow-approbatory.

Formypart,saidthejollywidow,staringwitheyesasbigaseggs,IknowwhatIknow.--Butmanandwifearemanandwife;ortheyarenotmanandwife.--Ihavenonotionofstandinguponsuchniceties.

Buthereshecomes!criedone,hearingherchamber-dooropen--Hereshecomes!another,hearingitshutafterher--Anddowndropttheangelamongus.

Weallstoodup,bowingandcourtesying,andcouldnothelpit;forsheenteredwithsuchanairascommandedallourreverence.YettheCaptainlookedplaguygrave.

Cl.Praykeepyourseats,Ladies--Praydonotgo,[fortheymadeofferstowithdraw;yetMissRawlinswouldhavebursthadshebeensufferedtoretire.]Beforethistimeyouhaveallheardmystory,Imakenodoubt--praykeepyourseats--atleastallMr.Lovelace's.

Averysaucyandwhimsicalbeginning,thoughtI.

CaptainTomlinson,yourservant,addressingherselftohimwithinimitabledignity.Ihopeyoudidnottakeamissmydecliningyourvisityesterday.Iwasreallyincapableoftalkinguponanysubjectthatrequiredattention.

Capt.Iamgladtoseeyoubetternow,Madam.IhopeIdo.

Cl.IndeedIamnotwell.Iwouldnothaveexcusedmyselffrom



attendingyousomehoursago,butinhopesIshouldhavebeenbetter.Ibegyourpardon,Sir,forthetroubleIhavegivenyou;andshalltheratherexpectit,asthisdaywill,Ihope,concludeitall.

Thusset;thusdetermined;thoughtI,--yettohavesleptuponit!--But,aswhatshesaidwascapableofagood,aswellasabad,construction,Iwouldnotputanunfavourableoneuponit.

Lovel.TheCaptainwassorry,mydear,hedidnotofferhisattendancethemomenthearrivedyesterday.Hewasafraidthatyoutookitamissthathedidnot.

Cl.PerhapsIthoughtthatmyuncle'sfriendmighthavewishedtoseemeassoonashecame,[howwestared!]--But,Sir,[tome,]itmightbeconvenienttoyoutodetainhim.

Thedevil,thoughtI!--Sotherereallywasresentmentaswellashead-ache,asmygoodfriendMrs.Bevisobserved,inherrefusingtoseethehonestgentleman.

Capt.Youwoulddetainme,Mr.Lovelace--IwasforpayingmyrespectstotheladythemomentIcame--

Cl.Well,Sir,[interruptinghim,]towavethis;forIwouldnotbe

thoughtcaptious--ifyouhavenotsufferedinconvenience,inbeingobligedtocomeagain,Ishallbeeasy.

Capt.[Halfdisconcerted.]Alittleinconvenience,Ican'tsaybutIhavesuffered.Ihave,indeed,toomanyaffairsuponmyhands;butthedesireIhavetoserveyouandMr.Lovelace,aswellastoobligemydearfriend,youruncleHarlowe,makegreatinconvenienciesbutsmallones.

Cl.Youareveryobliging,Sir.--Hereisagreatalterationsinceyoupartedwithuslast.

Capt.Agreatoneindeed,Madam!Iwasverymuchsurprisedatit,onThursdayevening,whenMr.Lovelaceconductedmetoyourlodgings,where

wehopedtofindyou.

Cl.Haveyouanythingtosaytome,Sir,frommyunclehimself,thatrequiresmyprivateear!--Don'tgo,Ladies,[forthewomenstoodup,andofferedtowithdraw,]--ifMr.Lovelacestays,Iamsureyoumay.

Ifrowned--Ibitmylip--Ilookedatthewomen--andshookmyhead.

Capt.Ihavenothingtooffer,butwhatMr.Lovelaceisapartyto,andmayhear,exceptoneprivatewordortwo,whichmaybepostponedtothelast.

Cl.Pray,Ladies,keepyourseats.--Thingsarealtered,Sir,sinceI

sawyou.Youcanmentionnothingthatrelatestomenow,towhichthatgentlemancanbeaparty.

Capt.Yousurpriseme,Madam!Iamsorrytohearthis!--Sorryforyouruncle'ssake!--Sorryforyoursake!--SorryforMr.Lovelace'ssake!--AndyetIamsurehemusthavegivengreateroccasionthanhehasmentionedtome,or--

Lovel.Indeed,Captain,--indeed,Ladies,Ihavetoldyougreatpartofmystory!--AndwhatItoldyouofmyoffencewasthetruth:--whatI



concealedofmystorywasonlywhatIapprehendedwould,ifknown,causethisdearcreaturetobethoughtmorecensoriousthancharitable.

Cl.Well,well,Sir,saywhatyouplease.Makemeasblackasyouplease--makeyourselfaswhiteasyoucan--Iamnotnowinyourpower:thatconsiderationwillcomfortmeforall.

Capt.GodforbidthatIshouldoffertopleadinbehalfofacrime,thatawomanofvirtueandhonourcannotforgive!Butsurely,surely,Madam,thisisgoingtoofar.

Cl.Donotblameme,CaptainTomlinson.Ihaveagoodopinionofyou,asmyuncle'sfriend;butifyouareMr.Lovelace'sfriend,thatisanotherthing;formyinterestandMr.Lovelace'smustnowbeforeverseparated.

Capt.Onewordwithyou,Madam,ifyouplease--offeringtoretire.

Cl.Youmaysayallthatyoupleasetosaybeforethesegentlewomen.--Mr.Lovelacemayhavesecrets--Ihavenone:--youseemtothinkmefaulty:Ishouldbegladthatalltheworldknewmyheart.Letmyenemiessitinjudgmentuponmyactions;fairlyscanned,Ifearnottheresult;letthemevenaskmemymostsecretthoughts,and,whethertheymakeforme,oragainstme,Iwillrevealthem.

Capt.NobleLady!whocansayasyousay?

Thewomenhelduptheirhandsandeyes;each,asifshehadsaid,--NotI.

Nodisorderhere!saidMissRawlins:--but,(judgingbyherownheart,)aconfoundeddealofimprobability,Ibelieveshethought.

Finelysaid,tobesure,saidthewidowBevis,shrugginghershoulders.

Mrs.Mooresighed.

JackBelford,thoughtI,knowsallmine;andinthisIammoreingenuous

thananyofthethree,andafitmatchforthisparagon.

Cl.HowMr.LovelacehasfoundmeouthereIcannottell:butsuchmeandevices,suchartful,suchworsethanWalthamdisguisesputon,toobtrudehimselfintomycompany;suchbold,suchshockinguntruths--

Capt.Thefavourofbutoneword,Madam,inprivate--

Cl.Inordertosupportarightwhichhehasnotoverme!--OSir!--OCaptainTomlinson!--IthinkIhavereasontosay,thattheman,(therehestands!)iscapableofanyvileness!--

Thewomenlookedupononeanother,anduponme,byturns,toseehowI

boreit.Ihadsuchdartingsinmyheadattheinstant,thatIthoughtIshouldhavegonedistracted.Mybrainseemedonfire.WhatwouldIhavegiventohavehadheralonewithme!--Itraversedtheroom;myclenchedfisttomyforehead.OthatIhadanybodyhere,thoughtI,that,Hercules-lie,whenflaminginthetorturesofDejanira'spoisonedshirt,Icouldtearinpieces!

Capt.DearLady!seeyounothowthepoorgentleman--Lord,howhaveIimposeduponyouruncle,atthisrate!HowhappydidItellhimIsawyou!HowhappyIwassureyouwouldbeineachother!



Cl.OSir,youdon'tknowhowmanypremeditatedoffencesIhadforgivenwhenIsawyoulast,beforeIcouldappeartoyouwhatIhopedthenImightforthefuturebe!--Butnowyoumaytellmyuncle,ifyouplease,thatIcannothopeforhismediation.Tellhim,thatmyguilt,ingivingthismananopportunitytospiritmeawayfrommytried,myexperienced,mynaturalfriends,(harshlyastheytreatedme,)staresmeeverydaymoreandmoreintheface;andstillthemore,asmyfateseemstobedrawingtoacrisis,accordingtothemaledictionofmyoffendedfather!

Andthensheburstintotears,whichevenaffectedthatdog,who,broughttoabetme,washimselfallBelfordedover.

Thewomen,sousedtocrywithoutgrief,astheyaretolaughwithoutreason,bymereforceofexample,[confoundtheirpromptitudes;]mustneedspullouttheirhandkerchiefs.Thelesswonder,however,asImyself,betweenconfusion,surprise,andconcern,couldhardlystandit.

What'satenderheartgoodfor?--Whocanbehappythathasafeelingheart?--Andyet,thou'ltsay,thathewhohasitnot,mustbeatiger,andnoman.

Capt.Letmebegthefavourofonewordwithyou,Madam,inprivate;andthatonmyownaccount.

Thewomenhereuponofferedtoretire.Sheinsistedthat,iftheywent,Ishouldnotstay.

Capt.Sir,bowingtome,shallIbeg--

Ihope,thoughtI,thatImaytrustthissolemndog,instructedasheis.Shedoesnotdoubthim.I'llstayoutnolongerthantogivehertimetospendherfirstfire.

Ithenpassivelywithdrewwiththewomen.--Butwithsuchabowtomygoddess,thatitwonformeeveryheartbutthatIwantedmosttowin;forthehaughtymaidbentnotherkneeinreturn.

TheconversationbetweentheCaptainandthelady,whenwewereretired,wastothefollowingeffect:--Theybothtalkedloudenoughformetohearthem--theladyfromanger,theCaptainwithdesign;andthoumayestbesuretherewasnolistenerbutmyself.WhatIwasimperfectinwassuppliedafterwards;forIhadmyvellum-leavedbooktonotealldown.Ifshehadknownthis,perhapsshewouldhavebeenmoresparingofherinvectives--andbutperhapsneither.

Hetoldherthatasherbrotherwasabsolutelyresolvedtoseeher;andashehimself,incompliancewithheruncle'sexpedient,hadreportedhermarriage;andasthatreporthadreachedtheearsofLordM.,LadyBetty,andtherestofmyrelations;andashehadbeenobliged,inconsequence

ofhisfirstreport,tovouchit;andasherbrothermightfindoutwhereshewas,andapplytothewomenhereforaconfirmationorrefutationofthemarriage;hehadthoughthimselfobligedtocountenancethereportbeforethewomen.Thatthishadembarrassedhimnotalittle,ashewouldnotfortheworldthatsheshouldhavecausetothinkhimcapableofprevarication,contrivance,ordoubledealing;andthatthismadehimdesirousofaprivateconversationwithher.

Itwastrue,shesaid,shehadgivenherconsenttosuchanexpedient,believingitwasheruncle's;andlittlethinkingthatitwouldleadto



somanyerrors.Yetshemighthaveknownthatoneerrorisfrequentlytheparentofmany.Mr.Lovelacehadmadehersensibleofthetruthofthatobservation,onmoreoccasionsthanone;anditwasanobservationthathe,theCaptain,hadmade,inoneofthelettersthatwasshownheryesterday.*

*SeeLetterXXIV.

Hehopedthatshehadnomistrustofhim:thatshehadnodoubtofhishonour.If,Madam,yoususpectme--ifyouthinkmecapable--whataman!theLordbemercifultome!--Whatamanmustyouthinkme!

Ihope,Sir,therecannotbeamanintheworldwhocoulddeservetobesuspectedinsuchacaseasthis.Idonotsuspectyou.Ifitwerepossibletherecouldbeonesuchaman,Iamsure,CaptainTomlinson,afatherofchildren,amaninyears,ofsenseandexperience,cannotbethatman.

Hetoldme,thatjustthen,hethoughthefeltasuddenflashfromhereye,aneye-beamashecalledit,dartthroughhisshiveringreins;andhecouldnothelptrembling.

Thedog'sconscience,Jack!--Nothingelse!--Ihavefelthalfadozensuchflashes,sucheye-beams,inasmanydifferentconversationswiththissoul-piercingbeauty.

Heruncle,shemustown,wasnotaccustomedtothinkofsuchexpedients;butshehadreconciledthistoherself,asthecasewasunhappilyuncommon;andbytheregardhehadforherhonour.

Thissetthepuppy'sheartatease,andgavehimmorecourage.

SheaskedhimifhethoughtLadyBettyandMissMontagueintendedheravisit?

Hehadnodoubtbuttheydid.

Anddoesheimagine,saidshe,thatIcouldbebroughttocountenancetothemthereportyouhavegivenout?

[Ihadhopedtobringhertothis,Jack,orshehadseentheirletters.ButIhadtoldtheCaptainthatIbelievedImustgiveupthisexpectation.]

No.--HebelievedthatIhadnotsuchathought.Hewasprettysure,thatIintended,whenIsawthem,totellthem,(asinconfidence,)thenakedtruth.

Hethentoldherthatherunclehadalreadymadesomestepstowardsageneralreconciliation.Themoment,Madam,thatheknowsyouarereallymarried,hewillenterintoconfidencewithyourfatheruponit;havingactuallyexpressedtoyourmotherhisdesiretobereconciledtoyou.

Andwhat,Sir,saidmymother?Whatsaidmydearmother?

Withgreatemotionsheaskedthisquestion;holdingouthersweetface,astheCaptaindescribedher,withthemostearnestattention,asifshewouldshortenthewaywhichhiswordsweretohavetoherheart.



Yourmother,Madam,burstintotearsuponit:andyourunclewassopenetratedbyhertenderness,thathecouldnotproceedwiththesubject.Butheintendstoenteruponitwithherinform,assoonashehearsthattheceremonyisover.

Bythetoneofhervoiceshewept.Thedearcreature,thoughtI,beginstorelent!--AndIgrudgedthedoghiseloquence.IcouldhardlybearthethoughtthatanymanbreathingshouldhavethepowerwhichIhadlost,ofpersuadingthishigh-souledwoman,thoughinmyownfavour.Andwouldestthouthinkit?thisreflectiongavememoreuneasinessatthemomentthanIfeltfromherreproaches,violentastheywere;orthanIhadpleasureinhersupposedrelenting:forthereisbeautyineverythingshesaysanddoes!--Beautyinherpassion!--Beautyinhertears!--HadtheCaptainbeenayoungfellow,andofrankandfortune,histhroatwouldhavebeenindanger;andIshouldhavethoughtveryhardlyofher.

OCaptainTomlinson,saidshe,youknownotwhatIhavesufferedbythisman'sstrangeways!Hehad,asIwasnotashamedtotellhimyesterday,aplainpathbeforehim.Heatfirstbetrayedmeintohispower--butwhenIwasinit--Thereshestopt.--Thenresuming--OSir,youknownotwhatastrangemanhehasbeen!--Anunpolite,arough-manner'dman!Indisgraceofhisbirth,andeducation,andknowledge,anunpoliteman!--Andsoacting,asifhisworldlyandpersonaladvantagessethimabove

thosegraceswhichdistinguishagentleman.Thefirstwomanthateversaid,orthateverthoughtsoofme,that'smycomfort,thoughtI!--Butthis,(spokenoftoheruncle'sfriend,behindmyback,)helpstoheapupthyalready-too-fullmeasure,dearest!--Itisdowninmyvellum-book.

Cl.WhenIlookbackonhiswholebehaviourtoapooryoungcreature,(forIambutaveryyoungcreature,)Icannotacquithimeitherofgreatfollyorofdeepdesign.And,lastWednesday--Thereshestopt;andIsupposeturnedawayherface.

Iwondershewasnotashamedtohintatwhatshethoughtsoshameful;and

thattoaman,andalonewithhim.

Capt.Farbeitfromme,Madam,tooffertoentertoocloselyintosotenderasubject.Mr.Lovelaceowns,thatyouhavereasontobedispleasedwithhim.Buthesosolemnlyclearshimselfofpremeditatedoffence--

Cl.Hecannotclearhimself,CaptainTomlinson.Thepeopleofthehousemustbeveryvile,aswellashe.Iamconvincedthattherewasawickedconfederacy--butnomoreuponsuchasubject.

Capt.Onlyonewordmore,Madam.--Hetellsme,thatyoupromisedtopardonhim.Hetellsme--

Heknew,interruptedshe,thathedeservednotpardon,orhehadnotextortedthepromisefromme.NorhadIgivenittohim,buttoshieldmyselffromthevilestoutrage--

Capt.Icouldwish,Madam,inexcusableashisbehaviourhasbeen,sincehehassomethingtopleadinthereliancehemadeuponyourpromise,that,forthesakeofappearancestotheworld,andtoavoidthemischiefsthatmayfollowifyouabsolutelybreakwithhim,youcouldprevailuponyournaturally-generousmindtolayanobligationuponhim



byyourforgiveness.

Shewassilent.

Capt.Yourfatherandmother,Madam,deploreadaughterlosttothem,whomyourgenerositytoMr.Lovelacemayrestore:donotputittothepossiblechance,thattheymayhavecausetodeploreadoubleloss;thelosingofason,aswellasadaughter,who,byhisownviolence,whichyoumayperhapsprevent,maybeforeverlosttothem,andtothewholefamily.

Shepaused--shewept--sheownedthatshefelttheforceofthisargument.

Iwillbethemakingofthisfellow,thoughtI.

Capt.Permitme,Madam,totellyou,thatIdonotthinkitwouldbedifficulttoprevailuponyouruncle,ifyouinsistuponit,tocomeupprivatelytotown,andtogiveyouwithhisownhandtoMr.Lovelace--except,indeed,yourpresentmisunderstandingweretocometohisears.Besides,Madam,yourbrother,itislikely,mayatthisverytimebeintown;andheisresolvedtofindyouout--

Cl.Why,Sir,shouldIbesomuchafraidofmybrother?Mybrotherhasinjuredme,notIhim.WillmybrotheroffertomewhatMr.Lovelacehas

offered?--Wicked,ungratefulman!toinsultafriendless,unprotectedcreature,madefriendlessbyhimself!--Icannot,cannotthinkofhiminthelightIoncethoughtofhim.What,Sir,toputmyselfintothepowerofawretch,whohasactedbymewithsomuchvilepremeditation!--Whoshallpity,whoshallexcuseme,ifIdo,wereItosuffereversomuchfromhim?--No,Sir.--LetMr.Lovelaceleaveme--letmybrotherfindme.Iamnotsuchapoorcreatureastobeafraidtofacethebrotherwhohasinjuredme.

Capt.Wereyouandyourbrothertomeetonlytoconfertogether,toexpostulate,toclearupdifficulties,itwereanotherthing.Butwhat,Madam,canyouthinkwillbetheissueofaninterview,(Mr.Solmeswithhim,)whenhefindsyouunmarried,andresolvednevertohaveMr.

Lovelace;supposingMr.Lovelacewerenottointerfere,whichcannotbeimagined?

Cl.Well,Sir,Icanonlysay,Iamaveryunhappycreature!--ImustresigntothewillofProvidence,andbepatientunderevils,whichthatwillnotpermitmetoshun.ButIhavetakenmymeasures.Mr.Lovelacecannevermakemehappy,norIhim.IwaithereonlyforaletterfromMissHowe--thatmustdetermineme--

DetermineyouastoMr.Lovelace,Madam?interruptedtheCaptain.

Cl.Iamalreadydeterminedastohim.

Capt.Ifitbenotinhisfavour,Ihavedone.IcannotusestrongerargumentsthanIhaveused,anditwouldbeimpertinenttorepeatthem.Ifyoucannotforgivehisoffence,Iamsureitmusthavebeenmuchgreaterthanhehasownedtome.Ifyouareabsolutelydetermined,bepleasedtoletmeknowwhatIshallsaytoyouruncle?Youwerepleasedtotellme,thatthisdaywouldputanendtowhatyoucalledmytrouble:Ishouldnothavethoughtitany,couldIhavebeenanhumblemeanofreconcilingpersonsofworthandhonourtoeachother.

HereIenteredwithasolemnair.



Lovel.CaptainTomlinson,Ihaveheardapartofwhathaspassedbetweenyouandthisunforgiving(howeverotherwiseexcellent)lady.Iamcuttothehearttofindthedearcreaturesodetermined.Icouldnothavebelieveditpossible,withsuchprospects,thatIhadsolittleshareinheresteem.NeverthelessImustdomyselfjusticewithregardtotheoffenceIwassounhappyastogive,sinceIfindyouarereadytothinkitmuchgreaterthanitreallywas.

Cl.Ihearnot,Sir,yourrecapitulations.Iam,andoughttobe,thesolejudgeofinsultsofferedtomyperson.Ienternotintodiscussionwithyou,norhearyouontheshockingsubject.Andwasgoing.

Iputmyselfbetweenherandthedoor--YoumayhearallIhavetosay,Madam.Myfaultisnotofsuchanature,butthatyoumay.Iwillbeajustaccuserofmyself;andwillnotwoundyourears.

Ithenprotestedthatthefirewasarealfire.[Soitwas.]Idisclaimed[lesstruly]premeditation.IownedthatIwashurriedonbytheviolenceofayouthfulpassion,andbyasuddenimpulse,whichfewotherpersons,inthelikesituation,wouldhavebeenabletocheck:thatIwithdrew,athercommandandentreaty,onthepromiseofpardon,withouthavingofferedtheleastindecency,oranyfreedom,thatwouldnothavebeenforgivenbypersonsofdelicacy,surprisedinanattitude

socharming--herterror,onthealarmoffire,callingforasoothingbehaviour,andpersonaltenderness,shebeingreadytofallintofits:myhoped-forhappydaysonear,thatImightbepresumedtobelookeduponasabetrothedlover--andthatthisexcusemightbepleadedevenforthewomenofthehouse,thatthey,thinkingusactuallymarried,mightsupposethemselvestobethelessconcernedtointerfereonsotenderanoccasion.--[There,Jack,wasaboldinsinuationonbehalfofthewomen!]

Highindignationfilledherdisdainfuleye,eye-beamaftereye-beamflashingatme.Everyfeatureofhersweetfacehadsoulinit.Yetshespokenot.Perhaps,Jack,shehadathought,thatthispleaforthewomenaccountedformycontrivancetohaveherpasstothemasmarried,whenIfirstcarriedherthither.

Capt.Indeed,Sir,Imustsaythatyoudidnotwelltoaddtotheapprehensionsofaladysomuchterrifiedbefore.

Thedearcreatureofferedtogobyme.Isetmybackagainstthedoor,andbesoughthertostayafewmoments.Ihadnotsaidthusmuch,mydearestcreature,butforyoursake,aswellasformyown,thatCaptainTomlinsonshouldnotthinkIhadbeenvilerthanIwas.NorwillIsayonewordmoreonthesubject,afterIhaveappealedtoyourownheart,whetheritwasnotnecessarythatIshouldsaysomuch;andtotheCaptain,whetherotherwisehewouldnothavegoneawaywithamuchworseopinionofme,ifhehadjudgedofmyoffencebytheviolenceofyourresentment.

Capt.IndeedIshould.IownIshould.AndIamveryglad,Mr.Lovelace,thatyouareabletodefendyourselfthusfar.

Cl.Thatcausemustbewelltried,wheretheoffendertakeshisseatuponthesamebenchwiththejudge.--Isubmitnotminetomen--nor,givemeleavetosay,toyou,CaptainTomlinson,thoughIamwillingtohaveagoodopinionofyou.Hadnotthemanbeenassuredthathehadinfluencedyouinhisfavour,hewouldnothavebroughtyouuptoHampstead.



Capt.ThatIaminfluenced,asyoucallit,Madam,isforthesakeofyouruncle,andforyourownsake,more(IwillsaytoMr.Lovelace'sface)thanforhis.WhatcanIhaveinviewbutpeaceandreconciliation?Ihave,fromthefirst,blamed,andInow,again,blameMr.Lovelace,foraddingdistresstodistress,andterrortoterror;thelady,asyouacknowledge,Sir,[lookingvaliantly,]readybeforetofallintofits.

Lovel.Letmeowntoyou,CaptainTomlinson,thatIhavebeenaveryfaulty,averyfoolishman;and,ifthisdearcreatureeverhonouredmewithherlove,anungratefulone.ButIhavehadtoomuchreasontodoubtit.Andthisisnowaflagrantproofthatsheneverhadthevalueformewhichmyproudheartwishedfor;that,withsuchprospectsbeforeus;adaysonear;settlementsapprovedanddrawn;herunclemeditatingageneralreconciliationwhich,forhersake,notmyown,Iwasdesiroustogiveinto;shecan,foranoffencesoreallyslight,onanoccasionsotrulyaccidental,renouncemeforever;and,withme,allhopesofthatreconciliationinthewayherunclehadputitin,andshehadacquiescedwith;andrisqueallconsequences,fatalonesastheymaytoopossiblybe.--Bymysoul,CaptainTomlinson,thedearcreaturemusthavehatedmeallthetimeshewasintendingtohonourmewithherhand.Andnowshemustresolvetoabandonme,asfarasIknow,withapreferenceinherheartofthemostodiousofmen--infavourofthatSolmes,who,asyoutellme,accompaniesherbrother:andwithwhathopes,withwhatview,

accompanieshim!--HowcanIbeartothinkofthis?--Cl.Itisfit,Sir,thatyoushouldjudgeofmyregardforyoubyyourownconsciencenessofdemerit.Yetyouknow,oryouwouldnothavedaredtobehavetomeassometimesyoudid,thatyouhadmoreofitthanyoudeserved.

Shewalkedfromus;andthenreturning,CaptainTomlinson,saidshe,Iwillowntoyou,thatIwasnotcapableofresolvingtogivemyhand,and--nothingbutmyhand.HadInotgivenaflagrantproofofthistotheoncemostindulgentofparents?whichhasbroughtmeintoadistress,whichthismanhasheightened,whenheought,ingratitudeandhonour,tohaveendeavouredtorenderitsupportable.Ihadevenabias,Sir,in

hisfavour,Iscruplenottoownit.Long(muchtoolong!)boreIwithhisunaccountableways,attributinghiserrorstounmeaninggaiety,andtoawantofknowingwhattruedelicacy,andtruegenerosity,requiredfromaheartsusceptibleofgratefulimpressionstooneinvolvedbyhismeansinunhappycircumstances.

Itisnowwickednessinhim(awickednesswhichdiscreditsallhisprofessions)tosay,thatthislastcruelandungratefulinsultwasnotapremeditatedone--ButwhatneedIsaymoreofthisinsult,whenitwasofsuchanature,andthatithaschangedthatbiasinhisfavour,andmakemechoosetoforegoalltheinvitingprospectshetalksof,andtorunallhazards,tofreemyselffromhispower?

Omydearestcreature!howhappyforusboth,hadIbeenabletodiscoverthatbias,asyoucondescendtocallit,throughsuchreservesasmanneverencounteredwith!

Hediddiscoverit,Capt.Tomlinson.Hebroughtme,morethanonce,toownit;themoreneedlesslybroughtmetoownit,asIdaresayhisownvanitygavehimnocausetodoubtit;andasIhadapparentlynoothermotiveinnotbeingforwardtoownit,thanmytoo-justly-foundedapprehensionsofhiswantofgenerosity.Inaword,CaptainTomlinson,(andnow,thatIamdetermineduponmymeasures,Ithelessscrupleto



say,)Ishouldhavedespisedmyself,hadIfoundmyselfcapableofaffectationortyrannytothemanIintendedtomarry.IhavealwaysblamedthedearestfriendIhaveintheworldforafaultofthisnature.Inaword--

Lovel.Andhadmyangelreallyandindeedthefavourformesheispleasedtoown?--Dearestcreature,forgiveme.Restoremetoyourgoodopinion.SurelyIhavenotsinnedbeyondforgiveness.YousaythatIextortedfromyouthepromiseyoumademe.ButIcouldnothavepresumedtomakethatpromisetheconditionofmyobedience,hadInotthoughttherewasroomtoexpectforgiveness.Permit,Ibeseechyou,theprospectstotakeplace,thatwereopeningsoagreeablybeforeus.Iwillgototown,andbringthelicense.Alldifficultiestotheobtainingofitaresurmounted.CaptainTomlinsonshallbewitnesstothedeeds.Hewillbepresentattheceremonyonthepartofyouruncle.Indeedhegavemehopethatyourunclehimself--

Capt.Idid,Mr.Lovelace:andIwilltellyoumygroundsforthehopeIgave.Ipromisedtomydearfriend,(youruncle,Madam,)thatheshouldgiveoutthathewouldtakeaturnwithmetomylittlefarm-house,asIcallit,nearNorthampton,foraweekorso.--Poorgentleman!hehasoflatebeenverylittleabroad!--Toovisiblydeclining!--Changeofair,itmightbegivenout,wasgoodforhim.--ButIsee,Madam,thatthisistootenderasubject--

Thedearcreaturewept.SheknewhowtoapplyasmeanttheCaptain'shinttotheoccasionofheruncle'sdecliningstateofhealth.

Capt.Wemightindeed,Itoldhim,setoutinthatroad,butturnshorttotowninmychariot;andhemightseetheceremonyperformedwithhisowneyes,andbethedesiredfather,aswellasthebeloveduncle.

Sheturnedfromus,andwipedhereyes.

Capt.And,really,thereseemnowtobebuttwoobjectionstothis,asMr.Harlowediscouragednottheproposal--Theone,theunhappymisunderstandingbetweenyou;whichIwouldnotbyanymeansheshould

know;sincethenhemightbeapttogiveweighttoMr.JamesHarlowe'sunjustsurmises.--Theother,thatitwouldnecessarilyoccasionsomedelaytotheceremony;whichcertainlymaybeperformedinadayortwo--if--

Andthenhereverentlybowedtomygoddess.--Charmingfellow!--ButoftendidIcursemystars,formakingmesomuchobligedtohisadroitness.

Shewasgoingtospeak;but,notlikingtheturnofhercountenance(although,asIthought,itsseverityandindignationseemedalittleabated)Isaid,andhadliketohaveblownmyselfupbyit--oneexpedientIhavejustthoughtof--

Cl.Noneofyourexpedients,Mr.Lovelace!--Iabhoryourexpedients,yourinventions--Ihavehadtoomanyofthem.

Lovel.See,Capt.Tomlinson!--See,Sir!--Ohowweexposeourselvestoyou!--Littledidyouthink,Idaresay,thatwehavelivedinsuchacontinuedmisunderstandingtogether!--Butyouwillmakethebestofitall.Wemayyetbehappy.Oh!thatIcouldhavebeenassuredthatthisdearcreaturelovedmewiththehundredthpartoftheloveIhaveforher!--Ourdiffidenceshavebeenmutual.Ipresumetosaythatshehastoomuchpunctilio:IamafraidthatIhavetoolittle.Henceour



difficulties.ButIhaveaheart,CaptainTomlinson,aheart,thatbidsmehopeforherlove,becauseitisresolvedtodeserveitasmuchasmancandeserveit.

Capt.IamindeedsurprisedatwhatIhaveseenandheard.IdefendnotMr.Lovelace,Madam,intheoffencehehasgivenyou--asafatherofdaughtersmyself,Icannotdefendhim;thoughhisfaultseemstobelighterthanIhadapprehended--butinmyconscience,Madam,Ithinkyoucarryyourresentmenttoohigh.

Cl.Toohigh,Sir!--Toohightothemanthatmighthavebeenhappyifhewould!Toohightothemanthathasheldmysoulinsuspenseanhundredtimes,since(byartificeanddeceit)heobtainedapoweroverme!--Say,Lovelace,thyselfsay,artthounottheveryLovelace,whobyinsultingme,hastwrongedthineownhopes?--Thewretchthatappearedinviledisguises,personatinganold,lamecreature,seekingforlodgingsforthysickwife?--Tellingthegentlewomenherestoriesallofthineowninvention;andassertingtothemanhusband'srightoverme,whichthouhastnot!--Andisit[turningtotheCaptain]tobeexpected,thatIshouldgivecredittotheprotestationsofsuchaman?

Lovel.Treatme,mydearestcreature,asyouplease,Iwillbearit:andyetyourscornandyourviolencehavefixeddaggersinmyheart--Butwasitpossible,withoutthosedisguises,tocomeatyourspeech?--And

couldIloseyou,ifstudy,ifinvention,wouldputitinmypowertoarrestyouranger,andgivemehopetoengageyoutoconfirmtomethepromisedpardon?TheaddressImadetoyoubeforethewomen,asifthemarriage-ceremonyhadpassed,wasinconsequenceofwhatyourunclehadadvised,andwhatyouhadacquiescedwith;andtherathermade,asyourbrother,andSingleton,andSolmes,wereresolvedtofindoutwhetherwhatwasreportedofyourmarriageweretrueornot,thattheymighttaketheirmeasuresaccordingly;andinhopestopreventthatmischief,whichIhavebeenbuttoostudioustoprevent,sincethistamenesshasbutinvitedinsolencefromyourbrotherandhisconfederates.

Cl.Othoustrangewretch,howthoutalkest!--But,CaptainTomlinson,givemeleavetosay,that,wereIinclinedtoenterfartheruponthis

subject,IwouldappealtoMissRawlins'sjudgment(whomelsehaveItoappealto?)Sheseemstobeapersonofprudenceandhonour;butnottoanyman'sjudgment,whetherIcarrymyresentmentbeyondfitbounds,whenIresolve--

Capt.Forgive,Madam,theinterruption--butIthinktherecanbenoreasonforthis.Youought,asyousaid,tobethesolejudgeofindignitiesofferedyou.Thegentlewomenherearestrangerstoyou.Youwillperhapsstaybutalittlewhileamongthem.Ifyoulaythestateofyourcasebeforeanyofthem,andyourbrothercometoinquireofthem,youruncle'sintendedmediationwillbediscovered,andrenderedabortive--IshallappearinalightthatIneverappearedin,inmylife--forthesewomenmaynotthinkthemselvesobligedtokeepthesecret.

Charmingfellow!

Cl.Owhatdifficultieshasonefatalstepinvolvedmein--butthereisnonecessityforsuchanappealtoanybody.Iamresolvedonmymeasures.

Capt.Absolutelyresolved,Madam?

Cl.Iam.



Capt.WhatshallIsaytoyouruncleHarlowe,Madam?--Poorgentleman!howwillhebesurprised!--Yousee,Mr.Lovelace--yousee,Sir,--turningtomewithaflourishinghand--butyoumaythankyourself--andadmirablystalkedhefromus.

True,bymysoul,thoughtI.Itraversedtheroom,andbitmyunpersuasivelips,nowupper,nowunder,forvexation.

Hemadeaprofoundreverencetoher--andwenttothewindow,wherelayhishatandwhip;and,takingthemup,openedthedoor.Child,saidhe,tosomebodyhesaw,prayordermyservanttobringmyhorsetothedoor--

Lovel.Youwon'tgo,Sir--Ihopeyouwon't!--Iamtheunhappiestmanintheworld!--Youwon'tgo--yet,alas!--Butyouwon'tgo,Sir!--theremaybeyethopesthatLadyBettymayhavesomeweight--

Capt.DearMr.Lovelace!andmaynotmyworthyfriend,andaffectionateuncle,hopeforsomeinfluenceuponhisdaughter-niece?--ButIbegpardon--aletterwillalwaysfindmedisposedtoservethelady,andthataswellforhersakeasforthesakeofmydearfriend.

Shehadthrownherselfintoherchair:hereyescastdown:shewas

motionless,asinaprofoundstudy.TheCaptainbowedtoheragain:butmetwithnoreturntohisbow.Mr.Lovelace,saidhe,(withanairofequalityandindependence,)Iamyour's.

Stillthedearunaccountablesatasimmovableasastatue;stirringneitherhand,foot,head,noreye--Ineverbeforesawanyoneinsoprofoundareverieinsowakingadream.

Hepassedbyhertogooutatthedoorshesatnear,thoughthepassagebytheotherdoorwashisdirectway;andbowedagain.Shemovednot.Iwillnotdisturbtheladyinhermeditations,Sir.--Adieu,Mr.Lovelace

--nofarther,Ibeseechyou.

Shestarted,sighing--Areyougoing,Sir?

Capt.Iam,Madam.Icouldhavebeengladtodoyouservice;butIseeitisnotinmypower.

Shestoodup,holdingoutonehand,withinimitabledignityandsweetness--Iamsorryyouaregoing,Sir!--can'thelpit--Ihavenofriendtoadvisewith--Mr.Lovelacehastheart(orgoodfortune,perhapsIshouldcallit)tomakehimselfmany.--Well,Sir--ifyouwillgo,Ican'thelpit.

Capt.Iwillnotgo,Madam;hiseyestwinkling.[Againseizedwithafitofhumanity!]Iwillnotgo,ifmylongerstaycandoyoueitherserviceorpleasure.What,Sir,[turningtome,]what,Mr.Lovelace,wasyourexpedient;--perhapssomethingmaybeoffered,Madam--

Shesighed,andwassilent.

REVENGE,invokedItomyself,keepthythroneinmyheart.IftheusurperLOVEoncemoredrivetheefromit,thouwiltneveragainregainpossession!



Lovel.WhatIhadthoughtof,whatIhadintendedtopropose,[andIsighed,]wasthis,thatthedearcreature,ifshewillnotforgiveme,asshepromised,willsuspendthedispleasureshehasconceivedagainstme,tillLadyBettyarrives.--Thatladymaybethemediatrixbetweenus.Thisdearcreaturemayputherselfintoherprotection,andaccompanyherdowntoherseatinOxfordshire.ItisoneofherLadyship'spurposestoprevailonhersupposednewniecetogodownwithher.ItmaypasstoeveryonebuttoLadyBetty,andtoyou,CaptainTomlinson,andtoyourfriendMr.Harlowe(ashedesires)thatwehavebeensometimemarried:andherbeingwithmyrelationswillamounttoaprooftoJamesHarlowethatweare;andournuptialsmaybeprivately,andatthisbelovedcreature'spleasure,solemnized;andyourreport,Captain,authenticated.

Capt.Uponmyhonour,Madam,clappinghishanduponhisbreast,acharmingexpedient!--Thiswillanswereveryend.

Shemused--shewasgreatlyperplexed--atlast,Goddirectme!saidshe:Iknownotwhattodo--ayoungunfriendedcreature!WhomcanIhavetoadvisewith?--Letmeretire,ifIcanretire.

Shewithdrewwithslowandtremblingfeet,andwentuptoherchamber.

ForHeaven'ssake,saidthepenetratedvarlet[hishandsliftedup];for

Heaven'ssake,takecompassionuponthisadmirablewoman!--Icannotproceed--shedeservesallthings--

Softly!--d--nthefellow!--thewomenarecomingin.

Hesobbeduphisgrief--turnedabout--hemm'dupamoremanlyaccent--Wipethycursedeyes--Hedid.Thesunshinetookplaceononecheek,andspreadslowlytotheother,andthefellowhadhiswholefaceagain.

Thewomenallthreecamein,ledbythatever-curiousMissRawlins.Itoldthem,thattheladywasgoneuptoconsiderofeverything:thatwehadhopesofher.Andsucharepresentationwemadeofallthathadpassed,asbroughteithertacitordeclaredblameuponthefairperverse

forhardnessofheartandover-delicacy.

ThewidowBevis,inparticular,putoutonelip,tossedupherhead,wrinkledherforehead,andmadesuchmotionswithhernowlifted-up,nowcast-downeyes,asshowedthatshethoughttherewasagreatdealofperversenessandaffectationinthelady.Now-and-thenshechangedhercensuringlookstolooksofpityofme--but(asshesaid)shelovednottoaggravate!--Apoorbusiness,Godhelp's!shrugginguphershoulders,tomakesucharoutabout!Andthenhereyeslaughedheartily--Indulgencewasagoodthing!Lovewasagoodthing!--buttoomuchwastoomuch!

MissRawlins,however,declared,aftershehadcalledthewidowBevis,

withaprudishsimper,acomicalgentlewoman!thattheremustbesomethinginourstory,whichshecouldnotfathom;andwentfromusintoacorner,andsatdown,seeminglyvexedthatshecouldnot.

LETTERXXXV




Theladystaidlongerabovethanwewished;andIhopingthat(lady-like)sheonlywaitedforaninvitationtoreturntous,desiredthewidowBevis,intheCaptain'sname,(whowantedtogototown,)torequestthefavourofhercompany.

IcarednottosendupeitherMissRawlinsorMrs.Mooreontheerrand,lestmybelovedshouldbeinacommunicativedisposition;especiallyasshehadhintedatanappealtoMissRawlins;who,besides,hassuchanunboundedcuriosity.

Mrs.Bevispresentlyreturnedwithananswer(winkingandpinkingatme)thattheladywouldfollowherdown.

MissRawlinscouldnotbutoffertoretire,astheothersdid.Hereyes,however,intimatedthatshehadratherstay.Buttheynotbeingansweredassheseemedtowish,shewentwiththerest,butwithslowerfeet;andhadhardlylefttheparlour,whentheladyentereditbytheotherdoor;amelancholydignityinherpersonandair.

Shesatdown.Pray,Mr.Tomlinson,beseated.

Hetookhischairoveragainsther.Istoodbehindher'sthatImight

givehimagreed-uponsignals,shouldtherebeoccasionforthem.Asthus--awinkofthelefteyewastosignifypushthatpoint,Captain.

Awinkoftheright,andanod,wastoindicateapprobationofwhathehadsaid.

Myfore-fingerheldup,andbitingmylip,getoffofthat,asfastaspossible.

Aright-forwardnod,andafrown,sweartoit,Captain.

Mywholespreadhand,totakecarenottosaytoomuchonthatparticular

subject.

Ascowlingbrow,andapositivenod,wastobidhimriseintemper.

AndthesemotionsIcouldmake,eventhosewithmyhand,withoutholdingupmyarm,ormovingmywrist,hadthewomenbeenthere;as,whenthemotionswereagreedupon,Iknewnotbuttheywould.

Shehemmed--Iwasgoingtospeak,tosparehersupposedconfusion:butthisladyneverwantspresenceofmind,whenpresenceofmindisnecessaryeithertoherhonour,ortothatconsciousdignitywhichdistinguishesherfromallthewomenIeverknew.

Ihavebeenconsidering,saidshe,aswellasIwasable,ofeverythingthathaspassed;andofallthathasbeensaid;andofmyunhappysituation.Imeannoill,Iwishnoill,toanycreatureliving,Mr.Tomlinson.Ihavealwaysdelightedtodrawfavourableratherthanunfavourableconclusions;sometimes,asithasproved,forverybadhearts.Censoriousness,whateverfaultsIhave,isnotnaturallymyfault.--But,circumstancedasIam,treatedasIhavebeen,unworthilytreated,byamanwhoisfullofcontrivances,andgloriesinthem--

Lovel.Mydearestlife!--ButIwillnotinterruptyou.



Cl.Thustreated,itbecomesmetodoubt--itconcernsmyhonourtodoubt,tofear,toapprehend--yourintervention,Sir,issoseasonable,sokind,forthisman--myuncle'sexpedient,thefirstofthekindheever,Ibelieve,thoughtof!aplain,honest,good-mindedman,asheis,notaffectingsuchexpedients--yourreportinconformitytoit--theconsequencesofthatreport;thealarmtakenbymybrother;hisrashresolutionuponit--thealarmtakenbyLadyBetty,andtherestofMr.Lovelace'srelations--thesuddenletterswrittentohimuponit,which,withyour's,heshowedme--allceremony,amongpersonsbornobserversofceremony,andentitledtovaluethemselvesupontheirdistinction,dispensedwith--allthesethingshavehappenedsoquick,andsomeofthemsoseasonable--

Lovel.LadyBetty,yousee,Madam,inherletter,dispenseswithpunctilo,avowedlyincomplimenttoyou.Charlotte,inher's,professestodothesameforthesamereason.GoodHeaven!thattherespectintendedyoubymyrelations,who,ineveryothercase,arereallypunctilious,shouldbethusconstrued!Theywereglad,Madam,tohaveanopportunitytocomplimentyouatmyexpense.Everyoneofmyfamilytakesdelightinrallyingme.Buttheirjoyonthesupposedoccasion--

Cl.DoIdoubt,Sir,thatyouhavenotsomethingtosayforanythingyouthinkfittodo?IamspeakingtoCaptainTomlinson,Sir.Iwill

youwouldbepleasedtowithdraw--atleasttocomefrombehindmychair.AndshelookedattheCaptain,observing,nodoubt,thathiseyesseemedtotakelessonsfrommine.

Afairmatch,byJupiter!

TheCaptainwasdisconcerted.Thedoghadnothadsuchablushuponhisfacefortenyearsbefore.Ibitmylipforvexation:walkedabouttheroom;butneverthelesstookmypostagain;andblinkedwithmyeyestotheCaptain,asacautionforhimtotakemorecareofhis:andthenscoulingwithmybrows,andgivingthenodpositive,Iasgoodassaid,resentthat,Captain.

Capt.Ihope,Madam,youhavenosuspicionthatIamcapable--

Cl.Benotdispleasedwithme,CaptainTomlinson.IhavetoldyouthatIamnotofasuspicioustemper.Excusemeforthesakeofmysincerity.Thereisnot,Iwillbeboldtosay,asincererheartintheworldthanher'sbeforeyou.

Shetookoutherhandkerchief,andputittohereyes.

Iwasgoing,atthatinstant,afterherexample,tovouchforthehonestyofmyheart;butmyconscienceMennelleduponme;andwouldnotsufferthemeditatedvowtopassmylips.--Adevilishthing,thoughtI,fora

mantobesolittlehimself,whenhehasmostoccasionforhimself!

ThevillainTomlinsonlookedatmewitharuefulface,asifhebeggedleavetocryforcompany.Itmighthavebeenaswell,ifhehadcried.Afeelingheart,orthetokensofitgivenbyasensibleeye,areveryreputablethings,whenkeptincountenancebytheoccasion.

Andhereletmefairlyowntothee,thattwentytimesinthistryingconversationIsaidtomyself,thatcouldIhavethoughtthatIshouldhavehadallthistrouble,andincurredallthisguilt,Iwouldhavebeen



honestatfirst.Butwhy,Jack,isthisdearcreaturesolovely,yetsoinvincible?--EverheardstthoubeforethatthesweetsofMayblossomedinDecember?

Capt.Bepleased--bepleased,Madam--ifyouhaveanydoubtsofmyhonour--

Awhiningvarlet!Heshouldhavebeenquiteangry--ForwhatgaveIhimthenodpositive?Heshouldhavestalkedagaintothewindow,asforhiswhipandhat.

Cl.Iamonlymakingsuchobservationsasmyyouth,myinexperience,andmypresentunhappycircumstances,suggesttome--aworthyheart(such,Ihope,asCaptainTomlinson's)neednotfearanexamination--neednotfearbeinglookedinto--whateverdoubtsthatman,whohasbeenthecauseofmyerrors,and,asmyseverefatherimprecated,thepunisheroftheerrorshehascaused,mighthavehadofme,orofmyhonour,Iwouldhaveforgivenhimforthem,ifhehadfairlyproposedthemtome:forsomedoubtsperhapssuchamanmighthaveofthefutureconductofacreaturewhomhecouldinducetocorrespondwithhimagainstparentalprohibition,andagainstthelightswhichherownjudgmentthrewinuponher:andifhehadpropoundedthemtomelikeamanandagentleman,Iwouldhavebeengladoftheopportunitygivenmetoclearmyintentions,andtohaveshownmyselfentitledtohisgoodopinion--andIhopeyou,

Sir--Capt.Iamreadytohearallyourdoubts,Madam,andtoclearthemup--

Cl.Iwillonlyputit,Sir,toyourconscienceandhonour--

Thedogsatuneasy--heshuffledwithhisfeet--hereyewasuponhim--hewas,therefore,aftertherebuffhehadmetwith,afraidtolookatmeformymotions;andnowturnedhiseyestowardsme,thenfromme,asifhewouldunlookhisownlooks.

Cl.Thatallistrue,thatyouhavewritten,andthatyouhavetoldme.

Igavehimarightforwardnod,andafrown--asmuchastosay,sweartoit,Captain.ButthevarletdidnotrounditoffasIwouldhavehadhim.However,heaverredthatitwas.

Hehadhoped,hesaid,thatthecircumstanceswithwhichhiscommissionwasattended,andwhathehadcommunicatedtoher,whichhecouldnotknowbutfromhisdearfriend,heruncle,mighthaveshieldedhimevenfromtheshadowofsuspicion.ButIamcontented,saidhe,stammering,tobethought--tobethought--what--whatyoupleasetothinkofme--till,till,youaresatisfied--

Awhore's-bird!

Cl.Thecircumstancesyoureferto,Imustownoughttoshieldyou,Sir,fromsuspicion;butthemanbeforeyouisamanthatwouldmakeanangelsuspected,shouldthatangelpleadforhim.

Icameforward,--traversedtheroom,--wasindeedinabl--dypassion.--Ihavenopatience,Madam!--andagainIbitmyunpersuasivelips.

Cl.Nomanoughttobeimpatientatimputationsheisnotashamedtodeserve.Aninnocentmanwillnotbeoutrageousuponsuchimputations.Aguiltymanoughtnot.[Mostexcellentlywouldthischarmingcreature



capsentenceswithLordM.!]ButIamnotnowtryingyou,Sir,[tome,]onthefootofyourmerits.IamonlysorrythatIamconstrainedtoputquestionstothisworthiergentleman,[worthiergentleman,Jack!]which,perhaps,Ioughtnottoput,sofarastheyregardhimself.AndIhope,CaptainTomlinson,thatyou,whoknownotMr.Lovelacesowell,as,tomyunhappiness,Ido,andwhohavechildrenofyourown,willexcuseapooryoungcreature,whoisdeprivedofallworldlyprotection,andwhohasbeeninsultedandendangeredbythemostdesigningmanintheworld,and,perhaps,byaconfederacyofhiscreatures.

Thereshestopt;andstoodup,andlookedatme;fear,nevertheless,apparentlymingledwithheranger.--Andsoitought.Iwasglad,however,ofthispoorsignoflove;noonefearswhomtheyvaluenot.

Women'stongueswerelicensed,Iwasgoingtosay;butmyconsciencewouldnotletmecallherawoman;norusetohersovulgaraphrase.Icouldonlyravebymymotions,liftupmyeyes,spreadmyhands,rubmyface,pullmywig,andlooklikeafool.Indeed,Ihadagreatmindtorunmad.HadIbeenalonewithher,Iwould;andsheshouldhavetakenconsequences.

TheCaptaininterposedinmybehalf;gently,however,andasamannotquitesurethathewashimselfacquitted.Someofthepleaswehadbothinsistedonheagainenforced;and,speakinglow,Poorgentleman!said

he,whocanbutpityhim?Indeed,Madam,itiseasytosee,withallhisfailings,thepoweryouhaveoverhim!

Cl.Ihavenopleasure,Sir,indistressinganyone;notevenhim,whohassomuchdistressedme.But,Sir,whenITHINK,andwhenIseehimbeforeme,Icannotcommandmytemper!Indeed,indeed,CaptainTomlinson,Mr.Lovelacehasnotactedbymeeitherasagratefuloragenerousman,norevenasaprudentone!--Heknowsnot,asItoldhimyesterday,thevalueofthehearthehasinsulted!

Theretheangelstopt;herhandkerchiefathereyes.

OBelford,Belford!thatsheshouldsogreatlyexcel,astomakeme,at

times,appearasavillaininmyowneyes!

Ibesoughtherpardon.Ipromisedthatitshouldbethestudyofmywholelifetodeserveit.Myfaults,Isaid,whatevertheyhadbeen,wereratherfaultsinherapprehensionthaninfact.IbesoughthertogivewaytotheexpedientIhadhitupon--Irepeatedit.TheCaptainenforcedit,forheruncle'ssake.I,oncemore,forthesakeofthegeneralreconciliation;forthesakeofallmyfamily;forthesakeofpreventingfurthermischief.

Shewept.Sheseemedstaggeredinherresolution--sheturnedfromme.ImentionedtheletterofLordM.IbesoughthertoresigntoLadyBetty'smediationallourdifferences,ifshewouldnotforgivemebefore

shesawher.

Sheturnedtowardsme--shewasgoingtospeak;butherheartwasfull,andagainsheturnedawayhereyes,--AnddoyoureallyandindeedexpectLadyBettyandMissMontague?--Anddoyou--Againshestopt.

Iansweredinasolemnmanner.

Sheturnedfrommeherwholeface,andpaused,andseemedtoconsider.But,inapassionateaccent,againturningtowardsme,[Ohowdifficult,



Jack,foraHarlowespirittoforgive!]LetherLadyshipcome,ifshepleases,saidshe,Icannot,cannot,wishtoseeher;andifIdidseeher,andsheweretopleadforyou,Icannotwishtohearher!ThemoreIthink,thelessIcanforgiveanattempt,thatIamconvincedwasintendedtodestroyme.[Aplaguystrongwordfortheoccasion,supposingshewasright!]Whathasmyconductbeen,thataninsultofsuchanatureshouldbeofferedtome,anditwouldbeaweaknessinmetoforgive?Iamsunkinmyowneyes!AndhowcanIreceiveavisitthatmustdepressmemore?

TheCaptainurgedherinmyfavourwithgreaterearnestnessthanbefore.Webothevenclamoured,asImaysay,formercyandforgiveness.[DidstthouneverhearthegoodfolkstalkoftakingHeavenbystorm?]--Contritionrepeatedlyavowed;atotalreformationpromised;thehappyexpedientagainurged.

Cl.Ihavetakenmymeasures.Ihavegonetoofartorecede,ortowishtorecede.Mymindispreparedforadversity.ThatIhavenotdeservedtheevilsIhavemetwithismyconsolation;IhavewrittentoMissHowewhatmyintentionsare.Myheartisnotwithyou--itisagainstyou,Mr.Lovelace.IhadnotwrittentoyouasIdidintheletterIleftbehindme,hadInotresolved,whateverbecameofme,torenounceyouforever.

Iwasfullofhopenow.Severeasherexpressionswere,IsawshewasafraidthatIshouldthinkofwhatshehadwritten.And,indeed,herletterisviolenceitself.--Angrypeople,Jack,shouldneverwritewhiletheirpassionholds.

Lovel.Theseverityyouhaveshownme,Madam,whetherbypenorbyspeech,shallneverhaveplaceinmyremembrance,butforyourhonor.Inthelightyouhavetakenthings,allisdeserved,andbutthenaturalresultofvirtuousresentment;andIadoreyou,evenforthepangsyouhavegivenme.

Shewassilent.Shehademploymentenoughwithherhandkerchiefathereyes.

Lovel.Youlament,sometimes,thatyouhavenofriendsofyourownsextoconsultwith.MissRawlins,Imustconfess,istooinquisitivetobeconfidedin,[Ilikednot,thoumayestthink,herappealtoMissRawlins.]Shemaymeanwell.ButIneverinmylifeknewaperson,whowasfondofpryingintothesecretsofothers,thatwasfittobetrusted.Thecuriosityofsuchisgovernedbypride,whichisnotgratifiedbutbywhisperingaboutasecrettillitbecomespublic,inordertoshoweithertheirconsequence,ortheirsagacity.Itissoineverycase.Whatmanorwoman,whoiscovetousofpower,orofmakingarightuseofit?Butintheladiesofmyfamilyyoumayconfide.Itistheirambitiontothinkofyouasoneofthemselves.Renewbutyourconsenttopasstotheworld,forthesakeofyouruncle'sexpedient,and

forthepreventionofmischief,asaladysometimemarried.LadyBettymaybeacquaintedwiththenakedtruth;andyoumay,(asshehopesyouwill,)accompanyhertoherseat;and,ifitmustbeso,considermeasinastateofpenitenceorprobation,tobeacceptedorrejected,asImayappeartodeserve.

TheCaptainagainclapthishandsonhisbreast,anddeclared,uponhishonour,thatthiswasaproposalthat,werethecasethatofhisowndaughter,andshewerenotresolveduponimmediatemarriage,(whichyethethoughtbyfarthemoreeligiblechoice,)heshouldbeverymuch



concernedwereshetorefuseit.

Cl.WereIwithMr.Lovelace'srelations,andtopassashiswifetotheworld,Icouldnothaveanychoice.Andhowcouldhebetheninastateofprobation?--OMr.Tomlinson,youaretoomuchhisfriendtoseeintohisdrift.

Capt.Hisfriend,Madam,asIsaidbefore,asIamyour'sandyouruncle's,forthesakeofageneralreconciliation,whichmustbeginwithabetterunderstandingbetweenyourselves.

Lovel.Only,mydearestlife,resolvetoattendthearrivalandvisitofLadyBetty;andpermithertoarbitratebetweenus.

Capt.Therecanbenoharminthat,Madam.Youcansuffernoinconveniencefromthat.IfMr.Lovelace'soffencebesuch,thatawomanofLadyBetty'scharacterjudgesittobeunpardonable,whythen--

Cl.[Interrupting;andtome,]IfIamnotinvadedbyyou,Sir;ifIam,(asIoughttobe,)myownmistress,Ithinktostayhere,inthishonesthouse,[andthenhadIaneye-beam,astheCaptaincallsit,flashedatme,]tillIreceivealetterfromMissHowe.That,Ihope,willbeinadayortwo.Ifinthattimetheladiescomewhomyouexpect,andiftheyaredesiroustoseethecreaturewhomyouhavemade

unhappy,IshallknowwhetherIcanorcannotreceivetheirvisit.Sheturnedshorttothedoor,and,retiring,wentupstairstoherchamber.

OSir,saidtheCaptain,assoonasshewasgone,whatanangelofawomanisthis!Ihavebeen,andIamaverywickedman.Butifanythingshouldhappenamisstothisadmirablelady,throughmymeans,Ishallhavemorecauseforself-reproachthanforallthebadactionsofmylifeputtogether.

Andhiseyesglistened.

Nothingcanhappenamiss,thousorrowfuldog!--Whatcanhappenamiss?Arewetoformouropinionofthingsbytheromanticnotionsofagirl,whosupposesthattobethegreatestwhichistheslightestofevils?HaveInottoldtheeourwholestory?Hasshenotbrokenherpromise?DidInotgenerouslyspareher,wheninmypower?Iwasdecent,thoughIhadheratsuchadvantage.--GreaterlibertieshaveItakenwithgirlsofcharacteratacommonromping'bout,andallhasbeenlaughedoff,andhandkerchiefandhead-clothesadjusted,andpetticoatsshakentorights,inmypresence.Neverman,inthelikecircumstances,andresolvedasIwasresolved,goadedonasIwasgoadedon,aswellbyherownsex,asbytheimpulsesofaviolentpassion,waseversodecent.Yetwhatmercydoessheshowme?

Now,Jack,thispitifuldogwassuchanotherunfortunateoneasthyself--hisargumentsservingtoconfirmmeintheverypurposehebroughtthemtoprevailuponmetogiveup.Hadheleftmetomyself,tothetendernessofmyownnature,movedasIwaswhentheladywithdrew,andhadhesetdown,andmadeodiousfaces,andsaidnothing--itisverypossiblethatIshouldhavetakenthechairoveragainsthim,whichshehadquitted,andhavecriedandblubberedwithhimforhalfanhourtogether.Butthevarlettoarguewithme!--topretendtoconvinceaman,whoknowsinisheartthatheisdoingawrongthing!--HemustneedsthinkthatthiswouldputmeupontryingwhatIcouldsayformyself;and



whentheextendedcompunctioncanbecarriedfromthehearttothelipsitmustevaporateinwords.

Thou,perhaps,inthisplace,wouldsthaveurgedthesamepleasthatheurged.WhatIansweredtohimthereforemaydoforthee,andsparetheethetroubleofwriting,andmeofreading,agooddealofnonsense.

Capt.Youwerepleasedtotellme,Sir,thatyouonlyproposedtotryhervirtue;andthatyoubelievedyoushouldactuallymarryher.

Lovel.SoIshall,andcannothelpit.IhavenodoubtbutIshall.Andastotryingher,isshenotnowintheheightofhertrial?HaveInotreasontothinkthatsheiscomingabout?Isshenotnowyieldingupherresentmentforanattemptwhichshethinkssheoughtnottoforgive?Andifshedo,mayshenotforgivethelastattempt?--Canshe,inaword,resentthatmorethanshedoesthis?Womenoften,fortheirownsakes,willkeepthelastsecret;butwillostentatiouslydintheearsofgodsandmenwiththeirclamoursuponasuccesslessoffer.Itwasmyfolly,myweakness,thatIgavehernotmorecauseforthisherunsparingviolence!

Capt.OSir,youwillneverbeabletosubduethisladywithoutforce.

Lovel.Well,then,puppy,mustInotendeavourtofindapropertime

andplace--Capt.Forgiveme,Sir!butcanyouthinkofforcetosuchafinecreature?

Lovel.Force,indeed,Iabhorthethoughtof;andforwhat,thinkestthou,haveItakenallthepainsIhavetaken,andengagedsomanypersonsinmycause,buttoavoidthenecessityofviolentcompulsion?Butyet,imaginestthouthatIexpectdirectconsentfromsuchaloverofformsasthisladyisknowntobe!Letmetellthee,M'Donald,thatthymaster,Belford,hasurgedonthysideofthequestionallthatthoucansturge.MustIhaveeverysorryfellow'sconsciencetopacify,aswellasmyown?--Bymysoul,Patrick,shehasafriendhere,[clappingmy

handonmybreast,]thatpleadsforherwithgreaterandmoreirresistibleeloquencethanallthemenintheworldcanpleadforher.Andhadshenotescapedme--AndyethowhaveIansweredmyfirstdesignoftryingher,*andinherthevirtueofthemostvirtuousofthesex?--Perseverance,man!--Perseverance!--What!wouldstthouhavemedeclineatrialthattheymakeforthehonourofasexweallsodearlylove?

*SeeVol.III.LetterXVIII.

Then,Sir,youhavenothoughts--nothoughts--[lookingstillmoresorrowfully,]ofmarryingthiswonderfullady?

Yes,yes,Patrick,butIhave.Butletme,first,togratifymypride,bringdownher's.Letmesee,thatshelovesmewellenoughtoforgivemeformyownsake.Hasshenotheretoforelamentedthatshestaidnotinherfather'shouse,thoughtheconsequencemusthavebeen,ifshehad,thatshewouldhavebeenthewifeoftheodiousSolmes?Ifnowshebebroughttoconsenttobemine,seestthounotthatthereconciliationwithherdetestedrelationsistheinducement,asitalwayswas,andnotloveofme?--Neitherhervirtuenorherlovecanbeestablishedbutuponfulltrial;thelasttrial--butifherresistanceandresentmentbesuch



ashithertoIhavereasontoexpecttheywillbe,andifIfindinthatresentmentlessofhatredofmethanofthefact,thenshallshebemineinherownway.Then,hatefulasisthelifeofshacklestome,willImarryher.

Well,Sir,Icanonlysay,thatIamdoughinyourhands,tobemouldedintowhatshapeyouplease.Butif,asIsaidbefore--

NoneofthySaid-before's,Patrick.Irememberallthousadist--andIknowallthoucanstfarthersay--thouartonly,PontiusPilatelike,washingthineownhands,(don'tIknowthee?)thatthoumayesthavesomethingtosilencethyconsciencewithbyloadingme.Butwehavegonetoofartorecede.Arenotallourenginesinreadiness?Dryupthysorrowfuleyes.Letunconcernandheart'seaseoncemoretakepossessionofthysolemnfeatures.Thouhasthithertoperformedextremelywell.--Shamenotthypastbythyfuturebehaviour;andarichrewardawaitsthee.Ifthouartdoughbedough;andIslapthimontheshoulder--Resumebutthyformershape,andI'llbeanswerablefortheevent.

Hebowedassentandcompliance;wenttotheglass;andbegantountwistandunsaddenhisfeatures;pulledhiswigright,asifthat,aswellashisheadandhearthadbeendiscomposedbyhiscompunction,andoncemorebecameoldLucifer'sandmine.

Butdidstthouthink,Jack,thattherewassomuch--What-shall-I-call-it?--inthisTomlinson?Didstthouimaginethatsuchafellowasthathadbowels?Thatnature,solongdeadandburiedinhim,astoallhumaneeffects,shouldthusreviveandexertitself?--YetwhydoIaskthisquestionofthee,who,tomyequalsurprise,hastshown,onthesameoccasion,thelikecompassionatesensibilities?

AstoTomlinson,itlooksasifpovertyhadmadehimthewickedfellowheis;asplentyandwantonnesshavemadeuswhatweare.Necessity,afterall,isthetestofprinciple.Butwhatisthereinthisdullword,orthing,calledHONESTY,thatevenI,whocannotinmypresentviewsbeservedbyit,cannothelpthinkingeventheaccidentalemanationsofitamiableinTomlinson,thoughdemonstratedinafemalecase;andjudging

betterofhimforbeingcapableofsuch?

LETTERXXXVI


ThisdebatebetweentheCaptainandmewashardlyoverwhenthethreewomen,ledbyMissRawlins,entered,hopingnointrusion,butverydesirous,themaidensaid,toknowifwewerelikelytoaccommodate.

Oyes,Ihopeso.Youknow,Ladies,thatyoursexmust,inthesecases,preservetheirforms.Theymustbecourtedtocomplywiththeirownhappiness.Aluckyexpedientwehavehitupon.Theunclehashisdoubtsofourmarriage.Hecannotbelieve,norwillanybody,thatitispossiblethatamansomuchinlove,theladysodesirable--

Theyalltookthehint.Itwasaveryextraordinarycase,thetwowidowsallowed.Women,Jack,[asIbelieveIhaveobserved*elsewhere,]haveahighopinionofwhattheycandoforus.MissRawlinsdesired,ifIpleased,toletthemknowtheexpedient;andlookedasiftherewasno



needtoproceedintherestofmyspeech.

*SeeLetterXXIV.ofthisvolume.

IbeggedthattheywouldnotlettheladyknowIhadtoldthemwhatthisexpedientwas;andtheyshouldhearit.

Theypromised.

Itwasthis:thattoobligeandsatisfyMr.Harlowe,theceremonywastobeagainperformed.Hewastobeprivatelypresent,andtogivehisniecetomewithhisownhands--andshewasretiredtoconsiderofit.

Thouseest,Jack,thatIhaveprovidedanexcuse,tosavemyveracitytothewomenhere,incaseIshouldinclinetomarriage,andsheshouldchoosetohaveMissRawlins'sassistanceattheceremony.NordoubtedItobringmyfair-onetosavemycreditonthisoccasion,ifIcouldgethertoconsenttobemine.

Acharmingexpedient!criedthewidow.Theywereallthreereadytoclaptheirhandsforjoyuponit.Womenlovetobemarriedtwiceatleast,Jack;thoughnotindeedtothesameman.Andallblessedthe

reconciliatoryschemeandtheproposerofit;and,supposingitcamefromtheCaptain,theylookedathimwithpleasure,whilehisfaceshinedwiththeapplauseimplied.Heshouldthinkhimselfveryhappy,ifhecouldbringaboutageneralreconciliation;andheflourishedwithhisheadlikemymanWill.onhisvictoryoveroldGrimes;bridlingbyturns,likeMissRawlinsintheheightofaprudishfit.

ButnowitwastimefortheCaptaintothinkofreturningtotown,havingagreatdealofbusinesstodispatchbeforemorning.NorwashecertainthatheshouldbeableagaintoattendusatHampsteadbeforehewenthome.

Andyet,aseverythingwasdrawingtowardsacrisis,Ididnotintend

thatheshouldleaveHampsteadthatnight.

Amessagetotheaboveeffectwascarriedup,atmydesire,byMrs.Moore;withtheCaptain'scompliments,andtoknowifshehadanycommandsforhimtoheruncle?

ButIhintedtothewomen,thatitwouldbeproperforthemtowithdraw,iftheladydidcomedown;lestsheshouldnotcaretobesofreebeforethemonaproposalsoparticular,asshewouldbetous,whohadofferedittoherconsideration.

Mrs.Moorebroughtdownwordthattheladywasfollowingher.Theyallthreewithdrew;andsheenteredatonedoor,astheywentoutatthe

other.

TheCaptainaccostedher,repeatingthecontentsofthemessagesentup;anddesiredthatshewouldgivehimhercommandsinrelationtothereporthewastomaketoheruncleHarlowe.

Iknownotwhattosay,Sir,norwhatIwouldhaveyoutosay,tomyuncle--perhapsyoumayhavebusinessintown--perhapsyouneednotseemyuncletillIhaveheardfromMissHowe;tillafterLadyBetty--Idon'tknowwhattosay.



Iimploredthereturnofthatvaluewhichshehadsogenerouslyacknowledgedoncetohavehadforme.Ipresumed,Isaid,toflattermyselfthatLadyBetty,inherownperson,andinthenameofallmyfamily,wouldbeable,onmypromisedreformationandcontrition,toprevailinmyfavour,especiallyasourprospectsinotherrespectswithregardtothegeneralreconciliationwishedforweresohappy.Butletmeowetoyourowngenerosity,mydearestcreature,saidI,ratherthantothemediationofanypersononearth,theforgivenessIamanhumblesuitorfor.Howmuchmoreagreeabletoyourself,Obestbelovedofmysoul,mustitbe,aswellasobligingtome,thatyourfirstpersonalknowledgeofmyrelations,andtheirsofyou,(fortheywillnotbedeniedattendingyou)shouldnotbebeguninrecriminations,inappeals?AsLadyBettywillbeheresoon,itwillnotperhapsbepossibleforyoutoreceivehervisitwithabrowabsolutelyserene.But,dearest,dearestcreature,Ibeseechyou,letthemisunderstandingpassasaslightone--asamisunderstandingclearedup.Appealsgiveprideandsuperioritytothepersonsappealedto,andareapttolessentheappellant,notonlyintheireye,butinherown.Exaltnotintojudgesthosewhoarepreparedtotakelessonsandinstructionsfromyou.TheindividualsofmyfamilyareasproudasIamsaidtobe.Buttheywillcheerfullyresigntoyoursuperiority--youwillbethefirstwomanofthefamilyineveryone'seyes.

Thismighthavedonewithanyotherwomanintheworldbutthis;andyetsheistheonlywomanintheworldofwhomitmaywithtruthbesaid.Butthus,angrily,didshedisclaimthecompliment.

Yes,indeed!--[andthereshestoptamoment,hersweetbosomheavingwithanobledisdain]--cheatedoutofmyselffromtheveryfirst!--Afugitivefrommyownfamily!Renouncedbymyrelations!Insultedbyyou!--Layinghumbleclaimtotheprotectionofyour's!--IsnotthisthelightinwhichImustappearnotonlytotheladiesofyourfamily,buttoalltheworld?--Thinkyou,Sir,thatinthesecircumstances,orevenhadIbeeninthehappiest,thatIcouldbeaffectedbythispleaofundeservedsuperiority?--YouareastrangertothemindofClarissaHarlowe,ifyouthinkhercapableofsopoorandsoundueapride!

Shewentfromustothefartherendoftheroom.

TheCaptainwasagainaffected--Excellentcreature!Icalledher;and,reverentlyapproachingher,urgedfartherthepleaIhadlastmade.

Itisbutlately,saidI,thattheopinionsofmyrelationshavebeenmorethanindifferenttome,whethergoodorbad;anditisforyoursake,morethanformyown,thatInowwishtostandwellwithmywholefamily.TheprincipalmotiveofLadyBetty'scomingup,is,topurchasepresentsforthewholefamilytomakeonthehappyoccasion.

Thisconsideration,turningtotheCaptain,withsonoble-mindedadear

creature,Iknow,canhavenoweight;onlyasitwillshowtheirvalueandrespect.Butwhatadampwouldtheirworthyheartsreceive,weretheytofindtheiradmirednewniece,astheynowthinkher,notonlynottheirniece,butcapableofrenouncingmeforever!Theyloveme.Theyallloveme.Ihavebeenguiltyofcarelessnessandlevitytothem,indeed;butofcarelessnessandlevityonly;andthatowingtoapridethathassetmeabovemeanness,thoughithasnotdoneeverythingforme.

Mywholefamilywillbeguarantiesformygoodbehaviourtothisdear



creature,theirniece,theirdaughter,theircousin,theirfriend,theirchosencompanionanddirectress,allinone.--Uponmysoul,Captain,wemay,wemustbehappy.

But,dearest,dearestcreature,letmeonmyknees[anddownIdropt,herfaceallthetimeturnedhalffromme,asshestoodatthewindow,herhandkerchiefoftenathereyes]onmykneesletmepleadyourpromisedforgiveness;andletusnotappeartothem,ontheirvisit,thusunhappywitheachother.LadyBetty,thenexthourthatsheseesyou,willwriteheropinionofyou,andofthelikelihoodofourfuturehappiness,toLadySarahhersister,aweak-spiritedwoman,whonowhopestosupplytoherself,inmybride,thelostdaughtershestillmournsfor!

TheCaptainthenjoinedin,andre-urgedheruncle'shopesandexpectations,andhisresolutioneffectuallytosetaboutthegeneralreconciliation;themischiefthatmightbeprevented;andthecertaintythattherewasthatherunclemightbeprevailedontogivehertomewithhisownhand,ifshemadeitherchoicetowaitforhiscomingup.but,forhisownpart,hehumblyadvised,andferventlypressedher,tomaketheverynextday,orMondayatfarthest,myhappyday.

Permitme,dearestlady,saidhe,andIcouldkneeltoyoumyself,[bendinghisknee,]thoughIhavenointerestinmyearnestness,butthepleasureIshouldhavetobeabletoserveyouall,tobeseechyouto

givemeanopportunitytoassureyourunclethatImyselfsawwithmyowneyesthehappyknottied!--Allmisunderstandings,alldoubts,alldiffidences,willthenbeatanend.

Andwhat,Madam,rejoinedI,stillkneeling,cantherebeinyournewmeasures,betheywhattheywill,thatcansohappily,soreputably,Iwillpresumetosay,forallaround,obviatethepresentdifficulties?

MissHoweherself,ifsheloveyou,andifsheloveyourfame,Madam,urgedtheCaptain,hiskneestillbent,mustcongratulateyouonsuchhappyconclusion.

Thenturningherface,shesawtheCaptainhalf-kneeling--OSir!OCapt.

Tomlinson!--Whythisunduecondescension?extendingherhandtohiselbow,toraisehim.Icannotbearthis!--Thencastinghereyeonme,Rise,Mr.Lovelace--kneelnottothepoorcreaturewhomyouhaveinsulted!--Howcrueltheoccasionforit!--Andhowmeanthesubmission!

Notmeantosuchanangel!--NorcanIrisebuttobeforgiven!

TheCaptainthenre-urgedoncemoretheday--hewasamazed,hesaid,ifsheevervaluedme--

OCaptainTomlinson,interruptedshe,howmuchareyouthefriendofthisman!--IfIhadnevervaluedhim,heneverwouldhavehaditinhispowertoinsultme;norcouldI,ifIhadneverregardedhim,havetakento

heartasIdo,theinsult(execrableasitwas)soundeservedly,soungratefullygiven--butlethimretire--foramomentlethimretire.

IwasmorethanhalfafraidtotrusttheCaptainbyhimselfwithher.HegavemeasignthatImightdependuponhim.AndthenItookoutofmypockethislettertome,andLadyBetty'sandMissMontague's,andLordM.'sletters(whichlastshehadnotthenseen);andgivingthemtohim,procureforme,inthefirstplace,Mr.Tomlinson,are-perusalofthesethreeletters;andofthisfromLordM.AndIbeseechyou,mydearestlife,givethemdueconsideration:andletmeonmyreturnfindthehappy



effectsofthatconsideration.

Ithenwithdrew;withslowfeet,however,andamisgivingheart.

TheCaptaininsisteduponthisre-perusalpreviouslytowhatshehadtosaytohim,ashetellsme.Shecomplied,butwithsomedifficulty;asifshewereafraidofbeingsoftenedinmyfavour.

Shelamentedherunhappysituation;destituteoffriends,andnotknowingwhithertogo,orwhattodo.Sheaskedquestions,sifting-questions,aboutheruncle,aboutherfamily,andafterwhatheknewofMr.Hickman'sfruitlessapplicationinherfavour.

Hewaswellpreparedinthisparticular;forIhadshownhimthelettersandextractsofletterofMissHowe,whichIhadsohappilycomeat.*Mightshebeassured,sheaskedhim,thatherbrother,withSingletonandSolmes,wereactuallyinquestofher?

*Vol.IV.LetterXLIV.

Heaverredthattheywere.

Sheasked,ifhethoughtIhadhopesofprevailingonhertogobacktotown?

HewassureIhadnot.

WashereallyofopinionthatLadyBettywouldpayheravisit?

Hehadnodoubtofit.

But,Sir;but,CaptainTomlinson--[impatientlyturningfromhim,andagaintohim]Iknownotwhattodo--butwereIyourdaughter,Sir--wereyoumyownfather--Alas!Sir,Ihaveneitherfathernormother!

Heturnedfromherandwipedhiseyes.

OSir!youhavehumanity![Shewepttoo.]Therearesomemenintheworld,thankHeaven,thatcanbemoved.OSir,Ihavemetwithhard-heartedmen--inmyownfamilytoo--orIcouldnothavebeensounhappyasIam--butImakeeverybodyunhappy!

Hiseyesnodoubtranover.--

DearestMadam!HeavenlyLady!--Whocan--whocan--hesitatedandblubberedthedog,asheowned.AndindeedIheardsomepartofwhatpassed,thoughtheybothtalkedlowerthanIwished;for,fromthenatureoftheirconversation,therewasnoroomforaltitudes.

THEM,andBOTH,andTHEY!--Howitgoesagainstmetoincludethisangelofacreature,andanymanonearthbutmyself,inoneworld!

Capt.Whocanforbearbeingaffected?--But,Madam,youcanbenootherman's.

Cl.NorwouldIbe.Butheissosunkwithme!--Tofirethehouse!--Anartificesovile!--contrivedfortheworstofpurposes!--Wouldyouhaveadaughterofyour's--ButwhatwouldIsay?--YetyouseethatIhavenobody



inwhomIcanconfide!--Mr.Lovelaceisavindictiveman!--Hecouldnotlovethecreaturewhomhecouldinsultashehasinsultedme!

Shepaused.Andthenresuming--inshort,Inever,nevercanforgivehim,norheme.--Doyouthink,Sir,IneverwouldhavegonesofarasIhavegone,ifIhadintendedevertodrawwithhiminoneyoke?--Ileftbehindmesuchaletter--

Youknow,Madam,hehasacknowledgedthejusticeofyourresentment--

OSir,hecanacknowledge,andhecanretract,fiftytimesaday--butdonotthinkIamtriflingwithmyselfandyou,andwanttobepersuadedtoforgivehim,andtobehis.Thereisnotacreatureofmysex,whowouldhavebeenmoreexplicit,andmorefrank,thanIwouldhavebeen,fromthemomentIintendedtobehis,hadIaheartlikemyowntodealwith.Iwasalwaysabovereserve,Sir,Iwillpresumetosay,whereIhadnocauseofdoubt.Mr.Lovelace'sconducthasmademeappear,perhaps,over-nice,whenmyheartwantedtobeencouragedandassured!andwhen,ifithadbeenso,mywholebehaviourwouldhavebeengovernedbyit.

Shestopt;herhandkerchiefathereyes.

Iinquiredaftertheminutestpartofherbehaviour,aswellasafterherwords.Ilove,thouknowest,totracehumannature,andmore

particularlyfemalenature,throughitsmostsecretrecesses.Thepitifulfellowwaslostinsilentadmirationofher.Andthusthenoblecreatureproceeded.

Itisthefateinunequalunions,thattolerablecreatures,throughthem,frequentlyincurcensure,whenmorehappilyyokedtheymightbeentitledtopraise.AndshallInotshunaunionwithaman,thatmightleadintoerrorsacreaturewhoflattersherselfthatsheisblestwithaninclinationtobegood;andwhowishestomakeeveryonehappywithwhomshehasanyconnection,eventoherveryservants?

Shepaused,takingaturnabouttheroom--thefellow,devilfetchhim,a

mummyallthetime:--Thenproceeded.

Formerly,indeed,Ihopedtobeanhumblemeanofreforminghim.But,whenIhavenosuchhope,isitright[youareaseriousman,Sir]tomakeaventurethatshallendangermyownmorals?

Stillsilentwasthevarlet.Ifmyadvocatehadnothingtosayforme,whathopeofcarryingmycause?

Andnow,Sir,whatistheresultofall?--Itisthis--thatyouwillendeavour,ifyouhavethatinfluenceoverhimwhichamanofyoursenseandexperienceoughttohave,toprevailuponhim,andthatforhisownsake,aswellasformine,toleavemefree,topursuemyowndestiny.

Andofthisyoumayassurehim,thatIwillneverbeanyotherman's.

Impossible,Madam!IknowthatMr.Lovelacewouldnothearmewithpatienceonsuchatopic.AndIdoassureyouthatIhavesomespirit,andshouldnotcaretotakeanindignityfromhimorfromanymanliving.

Shepaused--thenresuming--andthinkyou,Sir,thatmyunclewillrefusetoreceivealetterfromme?[Howaverse,Jack,toconcedeatittleinmyfavour!]



beforeurged.TheCaptainsecondedmewithequalearnestness.Atlast,eachfelldownonourkneesbeforeher.

Shewasdistressed.Iwasafraidatonetimeshewouldhavefainted.Yetneitherofuswouldrisewithoutsomeconcessions.Ipleadedmyownsake;theCaptain,hisdearfriend,heruncle's;andbothre-pleadedthepreventionoffuturemischief;andthepeaceandhappinessofthetwofamilies.

Sheownedherselfunequaltotheconflict.Shesighed.Shesobbed.Shewept.Shewrungherhands.

Iwasperfectlyeloquentinmyvowsandprotetations.Hertearfuleyeswerecastdownuponme;aglowuponeachcharmingcheek;avisibleanguishineverylovelyfeature--atlast,hertremblingkneesseemedtofailher,shedroptintothenextchair;hercharmingface,asifseekingforahidingplace(whichamother'sbosomwouldhavebestsupplied)sinkinguponherownshoulder.

Iforgotattheinstantallmyvowsofrevenge.Ithrewmyselfatherfeet,asshesat;and,snatchingherhand,presseditwithmylips.IbesoughtHeaventoforgivemypastoffences,andprospermyfuturehopes,asIdesignedhonourablyandjustlybythecharmerofmyheart,ifoncemoresheshouldrestoremetoherfavour.AndIthoughtIfeltdropsof

scaldingwater[couldtheybetears?]trickledownuponmycheeks;whilemycheeks,glowinglikefire,seemedtoscorchuptheunwelcomestrangers.

Ithenarose,notdoubtingofanimpliedpardoninthissilentdistress.IraisedtheCaptain.Iwhisperedhim--bymysoul,man,Iaminearnest.--Nowtalkofreconciliation,ofheruncle,ofthelicense,ofsettlement--andraisingmyvoice,Ifnowatlast,CaptainTomlinson,myangelwillgivemeleavetocallsogreatablessingmine,itwillbeimpossiblethatyoushouldsaytoomuchtoheruncleinpraiseofmygratitude,myaffection,andfidelitytohischarmingniece;andhemaybeginassoonashepleaseshiskindschemesforeffectingthedesirablereconciliation!--NorshallheprescribeanytermstomethatIwillnot

complywith.

TheCaptainblessedmewithhiseyesandhands--ThankGod!whisperedhe.Weapproachedtheladytogether.

Capt.Whathinders,dearestMadam,whatnowhinders,butthatLadyBettyLawrance,whenshecomes,maybeacquaintedwiththetruthofeverything?Andthatthenshemayassistprivatelyatyournuptials?Iwillstaytilltheyarecelebrated;andthenshallgodownwiththehappytidingstomydearMr.Harlowe.Andallwill,allmust,soonbehappy.

ImusthaveananswerfromMissHowe,repliedthestilltremblingfair-one.Icannotchangemynewmeasuresbutwithheradvice.Iwill

forfeitallmyhopesofhappinessinthisworld,ratherthanforfeithergoodopinion,andthatsheshouldthinkmegiddy,unsteady,orprecipitate.AllIshallfurthersayonthepresentsubjectisthis,thatwhenIhaveheranswertowhatIhavewritten,Iwillwritetoherthewholestateofthematter,asIshallthenbeenabledtodo.

Lovel.ThenmustIdespairforever!--OCaptainTomlinson,MissHowehatesme!--MissHowe--

Capt.Notso,perhaps--whenMissHoweknowsyourconcernforhaving



offended,shewillneveradvisethat,withsuchprospectsofgeneralreconciliation,thehopesofsomanyconsiderablepersonsinbothfamiliesshouldbefrustrated.Somelittletime,asthisexcellentladyhadforeseenandhinted,willnecessarilybetakenupinactuallyprocuringthelicense,andinperusingandsigningthesettlements.InthattimeMissHowe'sanswermaybereceived;andLadyBettymayarrive;andshe,nodoubt,willhaveweighttodissipatethelady'sdoubts,andtoacceleratetheday.Itshallbemypart,meantime,tomakeMr.Harloweeasy.AllIfearisfromMr.JamesHarlowe'squarter;andthereforeallmustbeconductedwithprudenceandprivacy:asyouruncle,Madam,hasproposed.

Shewassilent,Irejoicedinhersilence.Thedearcreature,thoughtI,hasactuallyforgivenmeinherheart!--Butwhywillshenotlaymeunderobligationtoher,bythegenerosityofanexplicitdeclaration?--Andyet,asthatwouldnotaccelerateanything,whilethelicenseisnotinmyhands,sheisthelesstobeblamed(ifIdoherjustice)fortakingmoretimetodescend.

Iproposed,asonthemorrownight,togototown;anddoubtednottobringthelicenseupwithmeonMondaymorning;wouldshebepleasedtoassureme,thatshewouldnotdepartformMrs.Moore's.

SheshouldstayatMrs.Moore'stillshehadananswerfromMissHowe.

ItoldherthatIhopedImighthavehertacitconsentatleasttotheobtainingifthelicense.

IsawbytheturnofhercountenancethatIshouldnothaveaskedthisquestion.Shewassofarfromtacitlyconsenting,thatshedeclaredtothecontrary.

AsIneverintended,Isaid,toaskhertoenteragainintoahouse,withthepeopleofwhichshewassomuchoffended,wouldshebepleasedtogiveordersforherclothestobebroughtuphither?OrshouldDorcasattendherforanyofhercommandsonthathead?

Shedesirednotevermoretoseeanybodybelongingtothathouse.ShemightperhapsgetMrs.MooreorMrs.Bevistogothitherforher,andtakeherkeyswiththem.

Idoubtednot,Isaid,thatLadyBettywouldarrivebythattime.IhopedshehadnoobjectiontomybringingthatladyandmycousinMontagueupwithme?

Shewassilent.

Tobesure,Mr.Lovelace,saidtheCaptain,theladycanhavenoobjectiontothis.

Shewasstillsilent.Sosilenceinthiscasewasassent.

WouldshebepleasedtowritetoMissHowe?--

Sir!Sir!peevishlyinterrupting--nomorequestions;noprescribingtome--youwilldoasyouthinkfit--sowillI,asIplease.Iownnoobligationtoyou.CaptainTomlinson,yourservant.RecommendmetomyuncleHarlowe'sfavour.Andwasgoing.

Itookherreluctanthand,andbesoughtheronlytopromisetomeetme



earlyinthemorning.

Towhatpurposemeetyou?Haveyoumoretosaythanhasbeensaid?Ihavehadenoughofvowsandprotestations,Mr.Lovelace.TowhatpurposeshouldImeetyouto-morrowmorning?

Irepeatedmyrequest,andthatinthemostferventmanner,namingsixinthemorning.

'YouknowthatIamalwaysstirringbeforethathour,atthisseasonoftheyear,'wasthehalf-expressedconsent.

Shethenagainrecommendedherselftoheruncle'sfavour;andwithdrew.

Andthus,Belford,hasshemendedhermarkets,asLordM.wouldsay,andIworstedmine.MissHowe'snextletterisnowthehingeonwhichthefateofbothmustturn.Ishallbeabsolutelyruinedandundone,ifIcannotinterceptit.

ENDOFVOL.5

Clarissa Volume 5

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Transcript of Clarissa Volume 5