Volume 2 Clarissa

8/2/2019 Volume 2 Clarissa

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/volume-2-clarissa 1/196

CLARISSAHARLOWE

orthe

HISTORYOFAYOUNGLADY

BySamuelRichardson

NineVolumes

VolumeII.

LETTERSOFVOLUMEII

LETTERI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Anothervisitfromherauntandsister.Thelatterspitefullyinsultsherwiththepatterns.AtenderscenebetweenherauntandherinArabella'sabsence.Sheendeavourstoaccountfortheinflexibilityofherparentsanduncles.

LETTERII.MissHowetoClarissa.--HumourousdescriptionofMr.Hickman.Imagines,fromwhatLovelace,Hickman,andSolmes,arenow,whatfigurestheymadewhenboysatschool.

LETTERIII.Fromthesame.--Usefulobservationsongenerallife.SeverecensuresoftheHarlowefamily,fortheirpride,formality,andotherbadqualities.

LETTERIV.Fromthesame.--Mr.Hickman'sconversationwithtwoofLovelace'slibertinecompanions.

LETTERV.Fromthesame.--AnunexpectedvisitfromMr.Lovelace.Whatpassesinit.Repeatsheradvicetohertoresumeherestate.

LETTERVI.VII.VIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Fartherparticularsofthepersecutionsshereceivesfromherviolentbrother.

LETTERIX.Fromthesame.--ImpertinenceofBettyBarnes.OverhearsherbrotherandsisterencourageSolmestopersevereinhisaddress.Shewriteswarmlytoherbrotheruponit.

LETTERX.Fromthesame.--Receivesaprovokingletterfromhersister.Writestohermother.Hermother'sseverereply.Isimpatient.DesiresMissHowe'sadvicewhatcoursetopursue.Triestocomposeherangrypassionsatherharpsichord.AnOdetoWisdom,byaLady.

LETTERXI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--ChidesherformisrepresentingMr.Hickman.Fullyanswersherargumentsaboutresumingherestate.HerimpartialitywithregardtowhatMissHowesaysofLovelace,Solmes,andherbrother.Reflectionsonrevengeandduelling.

LETTERXII.MissHowetoClarissa.--SirHarryDowneton'saccountofwhatpassedbetweenhimselfandSolmes.Shewisheshertoavoidbothmen.Admiresherforhermanifoldexcellencies.

LETTERXIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Whyshecannotovercomeher



aversiontoSolmes.SharplettertoLovelace.Onwhatoccasion.Allhisdifficulties,shetellshim,owningtohisfaultymorals;whichlevelalldistinction.Insistsuponhislayingasideallthoughtsofher.Herimpartialanddutifulreasoningsonherdifficultsituation.

LETTERXIV.MissHowetoClarissa.--Anotabledebatebetweenherandhermotheronhercase.Thosewhomarryforloveseldomsohappyasthosewhomarryforconvenience.Pictureofamodernmarriage.Alessonbothtoparentsandchildreninlove-cases.Handsomemenseldommakegoodhusbands.MissHowereflectsontheHarlowefamily,asnotfamousforstrictnessinreligionorpiety.Hermother'spartialityforHickman.

LETTERXV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Herincreasedapprehensions.Warmlydefendsherownmother.Extenuatesherfather'sfeelings;andexpostulateswithheronherundeservedtreatmentofMr.Hickman.AlettertoherfromSolmes.Herspiritedanswer.Allinanuproaraboutit.HerauntHervey'sangrylettertoher.Shewritestohermother.Herletterreturnedunopened.Toherfather.Hetearsherletterinpieces,andsendsitbacktoher.ShethenwritesapatheticlettertoheruncleHarlowe.

LETTERXVI.Fromthesame.--ReceivesagentleranswerthansheexpectedfromheruncleHarlowe.Makesanewproposalinalettertohim,whichshethinksmustbeaccepted.Herrelationsassembleduponit.Her

opinionofthesacrificewhichachildoughttomaketoherparents.

LETTERXVII.Fromthesame.--Shetellsherthattheproposalshehadmadetoherrelations,onwhichshehadbuiltsomuch,isrejected.Betty'ssaucyreportuponit.Herbrother'sprovokinglettertoher.HerlettertoheruncleHarloweontheoccasion.SubstanceofaletterexcusatoryfromMr.Lovelace.Hepressesforaninterviewwithherinthegarden.

LETTERXVIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Heruncle'sangryanswer.SubstanceofahumbleletterfromMr.Lovelace.Hehasgotaviolentcoldandhoarseness,byhisfruitlessattendanceallnightinthecoppice.Sheissorryheisnotwell.Makesaconditionalappointment

withhimforthenextnight,inthegarden.Hatestyrannyinallshapes.

LETTERXIX.Fromthesame.--AcharacteristicdialoguewiththepertBettyBarnes.Womenhavegreatadvantageovermeninallthepowersthatrelatetotheimagination.MakesarequesttoheruncleHarlowe,whichisgranted,onconditionthatshewilladmitofavisitfromSolmes.Shecomplies;andappointsthatdaysevennight.ThenwritestoLovelacetosuspendtheintendedinterview.DesiresMissHowetoinquireintoLovelace'sbehaviouratthelittleinnheputsupatinhiswaytoHarlowe-Place.

LETTERXX.Fromthesame.--ReceivesaletterfromLovelace,writteninveryhighterms,onhersuspendingtheinterview.Herangryanswer.

Resolvesagainstanyfarthercorrespondencewithhim.

LETTERXXI.MissHowetoClarissa.--HumourousaccountofhermotherandMr.Hickmanintheirlittlejourneytovisitherdyingcousin.RalliesheronherpresentdispleasurewithLovelace.

LETTERXXII.Mr.HickmantoMrs.Howe.--ResentingMissHowe'streatmentofhim.

LETTERXXIII.Mrs.Howe.Inanswer.



LETTERXXIV.MissHowetoClarissa.--Observesuponthecontentsofhersevenlastletters.Adviseshertosendallthelettersandpapersshewouldnothaveherrelationssee;alsoaparcelofclothes,linen,&c.Isinhopesofprocuringanasylumforherwithhermother,ifthingscometoextremity.

LETTERXXV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Requisitesoftruesatire.Rejoicesinthehopesshegivesofhermother'sprotection.Depositsaparceloflinen,andallLovelace'sletters.Usefulobservationsrelatingtofamilymanagement,andtoneatnessofpersonanddress.HercontrivancestoamuseBettyBarnes.

LETTERXXVI.MissHowetoClarissa.--ResultofherinquiryafterLovelace'sbehaviourattheinn.Doubtsnotbuthehasruinedtheinnkeeper'sdaughter.Passionatelyinveighsagainsthim.

LETTERXXVII.Clarissa.Inanswer.--IsextremelyalarmedatLovelace'ssupposedbaseness.Declaresherabhorrenceofhim.

LETTERXXVIII.MissHowetoClarissa.--Lovelace,oninquiry,comesouttobenotonlyinnocentwithregardtohisRosebud,butgenerous.MissHoweralliesherontheeffectsthisintelligencemusthaveuponhergenerosity.

LETTERXXIX.Clarissa.Inreply.--Acknowledgeshergenerosityengagedinhisfavour.Franklyexpressestendernessandregardforhim;andownsthattheintelligenceofhissupposedbasenesshadaffectedhermorethanshethinksitought.Contentsofalettershehasreceivedfromhim.Pitieshim.WritestohimthatherrejectionofSolmesisnotinfavourtohimself;forthatsheisdeterminedtoholdherselffreetoobeyherparents,(asshehadofferedtothem,)oftheirgivingupSolmes.Reproacheshimforhislibertinedeclarationsinallcompaniesagainstmatrimony.Hernotionsoffilialduty,notwithstandingthepersecutionsshemeetswith.

LETTERXXX.MissHowetoClarissa.--HertreatmentofMr.Hickmanonhis

intrusionintohercompany.ApplaudsClarissaforthegenerosityofherspirit,andthegreatnessofhermind.

LETTERXXXI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Dr.Lewenmakesheraformalvisit.Affectedcivilityofherbrotherandsistertoher.IsvisitedbyheruncleHarlowe:andbyhersister.Shepenetratesthelowartdesignedinthischangeoftheiroutwardbehaviour.SubstanceofLovelace'sreplytoherlast.Heacknowledgeshisfollyforhavingeverspokenlightlyofmatrimony.

LETTERXXXII.Fromthesame.--AnotherletterfromMr.Lovelace,inwhichheexpresseshimselfextremelyapprehensiveoftheissueofherinterviewwithSolmes.Presseshertoescape;proposesmeansfor

effectingit;andthreatenstorescueherbyviolence,iftheyattempttocarryhertoheruncleAntony'sagainstherwill.Herterrorontheoccasion.Sheinsists,inheranswer,onhisforbearingtotakeanyrashstep;andexpressesherselfhighlydissatisfiedthatheshouldthinkhimselfentitledtodisputeherfather'sauthorityinremovinghertoheruncle's.ShereliesonMrs.Howe'sprotectiontillhercousinMordenarrives.

LETTERXXXIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--AvisitfromherauntHervey,preparativetotheapproachinginterviewwithSolmes.Heraunttellsher



whatisexpectedonherhavingconsentedtothatinterview.

LETTERXXXIV.XXXV.Fromthesame.--AparticularaccountofwhatpassedintheinterviewwithSolmes;andofthepartsoccasionallytakeninitbyherboisterousuncle,byherbrutalbrother,byherimplacablesister,andbyherqualifyingaunt.Herperseveranceanddistress.HercousinDolly'stendernessforher.Herclosetsearchedforpapers.Allthepensandinktheyfindtakenfromher.

LETTERXXXVI.Fromthesame.--SubstanceofaletterfromLovelace.Hisproposals,promises,anddeclarations.Allherpresentwishis,tobeabletoescapeSolmes,ononehand,andtoavoidincurringthedisgraceofrefugingwiththefamilyofamanatenmitywithherown,ontheother.Heremotionsbehindtheyew-hedgeonseeingherfathergoingintothegarden.Grievedatwhatshehearshimsay.Dutifulmessagetohermother.Harshlyanswered.ShecensuresMr.Lovelaceforhisrashthreateningstorescueher.Justifiesherfriendsforresentingthem;andcondemnsherselfforcorrespondingwithhimatfirst.

LETTERXXXVII.MissHowetoClarissa.--Isvexedatthehearttobeobligedtotellherthathermotherrefusestoreceiveandprotecther.Offerstogoawayprivatelywithher.

LETTERXXXVIII.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Herdisinterestedargumentsin

Mrs.Howe'sfavour,onherrefusaltoreceiveher.Allherconsolationis,thatherunhappysituationisnotowingtoherowninadvertenceoffolly.Isafraidsheissingledout,eitherforherownfaults,orforthoseofherfamily,orperhapsforthefaultsofboth,tobeaveryunhappycreature.JustifiesthewaysofProvidence,letwhatwillbefalher:andargueswithexemplarygreatnessofmindonthissubject.WarmlydiscouragesMissHowe'smotiontoaccompanyherinherflight.

LETTERXXXIX.ClarissatoMissHowe.--FurtherinstancesofherimpartialityincondemningLovelace,andreasoningforherparents.Overhearsherbrotherandsisterexultinginthesuccessoftheirschemes;andundertaking,theonetokeephisfatheruptohisresentmentonoccasionofLovelace'smenaces,theotherhermother.

Exasperatedatthis,andatwhatherauntHerveytellsher,shewritestoLovelace,thatshewillmeethimthefollowingMonday,andthrowherselfintotheprotectionoftheladiesofhisfamily.

LETTERXL.Fromthesame.--Herfrightfuldream.NowthatLovelacehasgotherletter,sherepentsherappointment.

LETTERXLI.Fromthesame.--ReceivesaletterfromMr.Lovelace,fulloftransport,vows,andpromises.Hepresumesuponherbeinghisonhergettingaway,thoughshehasnotgivenhimroomforsuchhopes.Inheranswershetellshim,'thatshelooksnotuponherselfasabsolutelyboundbyherappointment:thattherearemanypointstobeadjustedbetweenthem(wereshetoleaveherfather'shouse)beforeshecangive

himparticularencouragement:thathemustexpectshewilldoherutmosttoprocureareconciliationwithherfather,andhisapprobationofherfuturesteps.'AllherfriendsaretobeassembledonthefollowingWednesday:sheistobebroughtbeforethem.Howtobeproceededwith.Lovelace,inhisreply,askspardonforwritingtoherwithsomuchassurance;anddeclareshisentireacquiescencewithherwillandpleasure.

LETTERXLII.Fromthesame.--Confirmsherappointment;buttellshimwhatheisnottoexpect.Promises,thatifsheshouldchangehermind



astowithdrawing,shewilltakethefirstopportunitytoseehim,andacquainthimwithherreasons.Reflectionsonwhatshehasdone.Herdeepregrettobethusdriven.

LETTERXLIII.MissHowetoClarissa.--Reasonswhysheoughttoallowhertoaccompanyherinherflight.Punctilioatanend,themomentsheisoutofherfather'shouse.Requisitesoffriendship.QuestionswhethershewillnotratherchoosetogooffwithoneofherownsexthanwithLovelace?Andifnot,whethersheshouldnotmarryhimassoonaspossible?

LETTERXLIV.ClarissatoMissHowe,(MissHowe'slastnotreceived.)Lovelacepromisescompliance,ineveryarticle,withherpleasure.Herheartmisgiveshernotwithstanding.Sheknowsnotbutshemayyetrecede.

LETTERXLV.Fromthesame.InanswertoLetterXLIII.--ReflectionsworthyofherselfonsomeofthepassagesinMissHowe'slastletter.Givesherhome-putquestionsafullconsideration;anddeterminesNOTtowithdrawwithLovelace.

LETTERXLVI.XLVII.Fromthesame.--SubstanceofherlettertoLovelace,revokingherappointment.Thinksherselfobliged(herletterbeingnottakenaway)aswellbypromiseasinordertopreventmischief,tomeet

him,andtogivehimherreasonforrevoking.--Thehourofmeetingnowathand,sheisapprehensiveofthecontestsheshallhavewithhim,ashewillcomewithadifferentexpectation.

LETTERXLVIII.Fromthesame.--DatedfromSt.Alban's.Writesintheutmostanguishofmindforthelittleparceloflinenshehadsenttoherwithbetterhopes.CondemnsherownrashnessinmeetingLovelace.Begsherpityandherprayers.

THEHISTORYOFCLARISSAHARLOWE

LETTERI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE

Myheartflutteredwiththehopeandthefearofseeingmymother,andwiththeshameandgriefofhavinggivenhersomuchuneasiness.Butitneedednot:shewasnotpermittedtocome.Butmyauntwassogoodastoreturn,yetnotwithoutmysister;and,takingmyhand,mademesitdown

byher.

Shecame,shemustown,officiously,shesaid,thisoncemore,thoughagainsttheopinionofmyfather:butknowinganddreadingtheconsequenceofmyopposition,shecouldnotbutcome.

Shethensetforthtomyfriends'expectationfromme;Mr.Solmes'sriches(threetimesasrichhecameouttobe,asanybodyhadthoughthim);thesettlementsproposed;Mr.Lovelace'sbadcharacter;theiraversionstohim;allinaverystronglight;notinastrongerthan



mymotherhadbeforeplacedthemin.Mymother,surely,couldnothavegiventheparticularsofwhathadpassedbetweenherselfandme:ifshehad,myauntwouldnothaverepeatedmanyofthesamesentiments,asyouwillfindshedid,thathadbeenstillmorestronglyurged,withouteffectbyhervenerablesister.

Shesaiditwouldbreaktheheartofmyfathertohaveitimaginedthathehadnotapoweroverhisownchild;andthat,ashethought,formyowngood:achildtoo,whomtheyhadalwaysdoatedupon!--Dearest,dearestMiss,concludedshe,claspingherfingers,withthemostcondescendingearnestness,letmebegofyou,formysake,foryourownsake,forahundredsakes,togetoverthisaverseness,togiveupyourprejudices,andmakeeveryonehappyandeasyoncemore.--Iwouldkneeltoyou,mydearestNiece--nay,Iwillkneeltoyou--!

Anddownshedropt,andIwithher,kneelingtoher,andbeseechinghernottokneel;claspingmyarmsabouther,andbathingherworthybosomwithmytears.

Orise!rise!mybelovedAunt,saidI:youcutmetotheheartwiththiscondescendinggoodness.

Saythen,mydearestNiece,saythen,thatyouwillobligeallyourfriends!--Ifyouloveus,Ibeseechyoudo--

HowcanIperformwhatIcansoonerchoosetodiethantoperform--!

Saythen,mydear,thatyouwillconsiderofit.Sayyouwillbutreasonwithyourself.Giveusbuthopes.Don'tletmeentreat,andthusentreat,invain--[forstillshekneeled,andIbyher].

Whatahardcaseismine!--CouldIbutdoubt,IknowIcouldconquer.--Thatwhichisaninducementtomyfriends,isnoneatalltome--Howoften,mydearestAunt,mustIrepeatthesamething?--Letmebutbesingle--CannotIlivesingle?Letmebesent,asIhaveproposed,toScotland,toFlorence,anywhere:letmebesentaslavetotheIndies,anywhere--anyoftheseIwillconsentto.ButIcannot,cannot

thinkofgivingmyvowstomanIcannotendure!

Wellthen,rising,(Bellasilently,withupliftedhands,reproachingmysupposedperverseness,)Iseenothingcanprevailwithyoutoobligeus.

WhatcanIdo,mydearestAuntHervey?WhatcanIdo?WereIcapableofgivingahopeImeantnottoenlarge,thencouldIsay,Iwouldconsiderofyourkindadvice.ButIwouldratherbethoughtperversethaninsincere.Isthere,however,nomedium?Cannothingbethoughtof?Willnothingdo,buttohaveamanwhoisthemoredisgustfultome,becauseheisunjustintheveryarticlesheoffers?

Whomnow,Clary,saidmysister,doyoureflectupon?Considerthat.

MakenotinvidiousapplicationsofwhatIsay,Bella.Itmaynotbelookeduponinthesamelightbyeveryone.Thegiverandtheaccepterareprincipallyanswerableinanunjustdonation.WhileIthinkofitinthislight,Ishouldbeinexcusabletobethelatter.ButwhydoIenteruponasuppositionofthisnature?--Myheart,asIhaveoften,oftensaid,recoils,atthethoughtoftheman,ineverylight.--Whosefather,butmine,agreesuponarticleswherethereisnoprospectofaliking?Wherethedirectcontraryisavowed,allalongavowed,withouttheleastvariation,orshadowofachangeofsentiment?--Butitisnotmy



father'sdoingoriginally.Omycruel,cruelbrother,tocauseameasuretobeforceduponme,whichhewouldnotbehavetolerablyunder,weretheliketobeofferedtohim!

Thegirlisgotintoheraltitudes,AuntHervey,saidmysister.Yousee,Madam,shesparesnobody.Bepleasedtoletherknowwhatshehastotrustto.Nothingistobedonewithher.Pray,Madam,pronounceherdoom.

Myauntretiredtothewindow,weeping,withmysisterinherhand:Icannot,indeedIcannot,MissHarlowe,saidshe,softly,(butyetIheardeverywordshesaid):thereisgreathardshipinhercase.Sheisanoblechildafterall.Whatpitythingsaregonesofar!--ButMr.Solmesoughttobetoldtodesist.

OMadam,saidmysister,inakindofloudwhisper,areyoucaughttoobythelittlesiren?--Mymotherdidwellnottocomeup!--Iquestionwhethermyfatherhimself,afterhisfirstindignation,wouldnotbeturnedroundbyher.Nobodybutmybrothercandoanythingwithher,Iamsure.

Don'tthinkofyourbrother'scomingup,saidmyaunt,stillinalowvoice--Heistoofurious.Iseenoobstinacy,noperverseness,inhermanner!Ifyourbrothercomes,Iwillnotbeanswerableforthe

consequences:forIthoughttwiceorthriceshewouldhavegoneintofits.

OMadam,shehasastrongheart!--Andyouseethereisnoprevailingwithher,thoughyouwereuponyourkneestoher.

Mysisterleftmyauntmusingatthewindow,withherbacktowardsus,andtookthatopportunitytoinsultmestillmorebarbarously;for,steppingtomycloset,shetookupthepatternswhichmymotherhadsentmeup,andbringingthemtome,shespreadthemuponthechairbyme;andofferingone,andthenanother,uponhersleeveandshoulder,thussheranon,withgreatseemingtranquility,butwhisperingly,thatmyauntmightnothearher.This,Clary,isaprettypatternenough:but

thisisquitecharming!Iwouldadviseyoutomakeyourappearanceinit.Andthis,wereIyou,shouldbemyweddingnight-gown--Andthismyseconddressedsuit!Won'tyougiveorders,love,tohaveyourgrandmother'sjewelsnewset?--OrwillyouthingtoshewawayinthenewonesMr.Solmesintendstopresenttoyou?Hetalksoflayingouttwoorthreethousandpoundsinpresents,child!Dearheart!--Howgorgeouslywillyoubearray'd!What!silentstill?--But,Clary,won'tyouhaveavelvetsuit?Itwouldcutagreatfigureinacountrychurch,youknow:andtheweathermaybearitforamonthyettocome.Crimsonvelvet,suppose!Suchafinecomplexionasyours,howitwouldbesetoffbyit!Whatanagreeableblushwoulditgiveyou!--Heigh-ho!(mockingme,forIsighedtobethusfooledwith,)anddoyousigh,love?--Wellthen,asitwillbeasolemnwedding,whatthinkyouofblackvelvet,child?--Silent

still,Clary?--Blackvelvet,sofairasyouare,withthosecharmingeyes,gleamingthroughawintrycloud,likeanAprilsun!--DoesnotLovelacetellyoutheyarecharmingeyes?--Howlovelywillyouappeartoeveryone!--What!silentstill,love?--Butaboutyourlaces,Clary?--

Shewouldhavegoneonstillfurther,hadnotmyauntadvancetowardsme,wipinghereyes--What!whisperingladies!Youseemsoeasyandsopleased,MissHarlowe,withyourprivateconference,thatIhopeIshallcarrydowngoodnews.



Iamonlygivinghermyopinionofherpatterns,here.--Unaskedindeed;butsheseems,byhersilence,toapproveofmyjudgment.

OBella!saidI,thatMr.Lovelacehadnottakenyouatyourword!--Youhadbeforenowbeenexercisingyourjudgmentonyourownaccount:andIhadbeenhappyaswellasyou!Wasitmyfault,Iprayyou,thatitwasnotso?--

Ohowsheraved!

Tobesoreadytogive,Bella,andsolothtotake,isnotveryfairinyou.

ThepoorBelladescendedtocallnames.

Why,Sister,saidI,youareasangry,asifthereweremoreinthehintthanpossiblymightbedesigned.Mywishissincere,forbothoursakes!--forthewholefamily'ssake!--Andwhat(goodnow)isthereinit?--Donot,donot,dearBella,givemecausetosuspect,thatIhavefoundareasonforyourbehaviourtome,andwhichtillnowwaswhollyunaccountablefromsistertosister--

Fie,fie,Clary!saidmyaunt.

Mysisterwasmoreandmoreoutrageous.

Ohowmuchfitter,saidI,tobeajest,thanajester!--Butnow,Bella,turntheglasstoyou,andseehowpoorlysitstherobeuponyourownshoulders,whichyouhavebeensounmercifullyfixinguponmine!

Fie,fie,MissClary!repeatedmyaunt.

Andfie,fie,likewise,goodMadam,toMissHarlowe,youwouldsay,wereyoutohaveheardherbarbarousinsults!

Letusgo,Madam,saidmysister,withgreatviolence;letusleavethecreaturetoswelltillsheburstswithherownpoison.--ThelasttimeI

willevercomenearher,inthemindIamin!

Itissoeasyathing,returnedI,wereItobemeanenoughtofollowanexamplethatissocensurableinthesetterofit,tovanquishsuchateasingspiritasyour'swithitsownbluntweapons,thatIamamazedyouwillprovokeme!--Yet,Bella,sinceyouwillgo,(forshehadhurriedtothedoor,)forgiveme.Iforgiveyou.Andyouhaveadoublereasontodoso,bothfromeldershipandfromtheoffencesostudiouslygiventooneinaffliction.Butmayyoubehappy,thoughInevershall!MayyouneverhavehalfthetrialsIhavehad!Bethisyourcomfort,thatyoucannothaveasistertotreatyouasyouhavetreatedme!--AndsoGodblessyou!

Othouarta--Anddownsheflungwithoutsayingwhat.

Permitme,Madam,saidItomyaunt,sinkingdown,andclaspingherkneeswithmyarms,todetainyouonemoment--nottosayanythingaboutmypoorsister--sheisherownpunisher--onlytothankyouforallyourcondescendinggoodnesstome.IonlybegofyounottoimputetoobstinacytheimmovablenessIhaveshowntosotenderafriend;andtoforgivemeeverythingIhavesaidordoneamissinyourpresence,forithasnotproceededfrominwardrancourtothepoorBella.ButIwillbeboldtosay,thatneithershe,normybrother,norevenmyfather



himself,knowswhatahearttheyhavesetableeding.

Isaw,tomycomfort,whateffectmysister'sabsencewroughtforme.--Rise,mynoble-mindedNiece!--Charmingcreature![thosewereherkindwords]kneelnottome!--KeeptoyourselfwhatInowsaytoyou.--IadmireyoumorethanIcanexpress--andifyoucanforbearclaimingyourestate,andcanresolvetoavoidLovelace,youwillcontinuetobethegreatestmiracleIeverknewatyouryears--butImusthastendownafteryoursister.--Thesearemylastwordstoyou:'Conformtoyourfather'swill,ifyoupossiblycan.Howmeritoriouswillitbeinyouifyoudoso!PraytoGodtoenableyoutoconform.Youdon'tknowwhatmaybedone.'

Only,mydearAunt,oneword,onewordmore(forshewasgoing)--SpeakallyoucanformydearMrs.Norton.Sheisbutlowintheworld:shouldillhealthovertakeher,shemaynotknowhowtolivewithoutmymamma'sfavour.Ishallhavenomeanstohelpher;forIwillwantnecessariesbeforeIwillassertmyright:andIdoassureyou,shehassaidsomanythingstomeinbehalfofmysubmittingtomyfather'swill,thatherargumentshavenotalittlecontributedtomakemeresolvetoavoidtheextremities,whichneverthelessIpraytoGodtheydonotatlastforcemeupon.Andyettheydeprivemeofheradvice,andthinkunjustlyofoneofthemostexcellentofwomen.

Iamgladtohearyousaythis:andtakethis,andthis,andthis,mycharmingNiece!(forsoshecalledmealmostateveryword,kissingmeearnestly,andclaspingherarmsaboutmyneck:)andGodprotectyou,anddirectyou!Butyoumustsubmit:indeedyoumust.Someonedayinamonthfromthisisallthechoicethatisleftyou.

Andthis,Isuppose,wasthedoommysistercalledfor;andyetnoworsethanwhathadbeenpronounceduponmebefore.

Sherepeatedtheselastsentenceslouderthantheformer.'Andremember,Miss,'addedshe,'itisyourdutytocomply.'--Anddownshewent,leavingmewithmyheartfull,andmyeyesrunningover.

TheveryrepetitionofthisfillsmewithalmostequalconcerntothatwhichIfeltatthetime.

Imustlaydownmypen.Mistiness,whichgivetothedelugedeyetheappearanceofallthecoloursintherainbow,willnotpermitmetowriteon.

WEDNESDAY,FIVEO'CLOCK

Iwillnowaddafewlines--Myaunt,asshewentdownfromme,wasmetatthefootofthestairsbymysister,whoseemedtothinkshehad

staidagoodwhileafterher;andhearingherlastwordsprescribingtomeimplicitduty,praisedherforit,andexclaimedagainstmyobstinacy.Didyoueverhearofsuchperverseness,Madam?saidshe:CouldyouhavethoughtthatyourClarissaandeverybody'sClarissa,wassuchagirl?--Andwho,asyousaid,istosubmit,herfatherorshe?

Myauntsaidsomethinginanswertoher,compassionatingme,asIthought,byheraccent:butIheardnotthewords.

Suchastrangeperseveranceinameasuresounreasonable!--Butmy



brotherandsisterarecontinuallymisrepresentingallIsayanddo;andIamdeprivedoftheopportunityofdefendingmyself!--Mysistersays,*thathadtheythoughtmesuchachampioness,theyyounothaveengagedwithme:andnow,notknowinghowtoreconcilemysupposedobstinacywithmygeneralcharacterandnaturaltemper,theyseemtohopetotiremeout,andresolvetovarytheirmeasuresaccordingly.Mybrother,yousee,**isdeterminedtocarrythispoint,ortoabandonHarlowe-place,andnevertoseeitmore.Sotheyaretoloseason,ortoconqueradaughter--theperversestandmostungratefulthateverparentshad!--Thisisthelightheplacesthingsin:andhasundertaken,itseems,tosubdueme,ifhisadviceshouldbefollowed.Itwillbefarthertried;ofthatIamconvinced;andwhatwillbetheirnextmeasure,whocandivine?

*SeeLetterXLII.ofVol.I.

**Ibid.

Ishalldispatch,withthis,myanswertoyour'sofSundaylast,begunonMonday;*butwhichisnotyetquitefinished.Itistoolongtocopy:Ihavenottimeforit.InitIhavebeenveryfreewithyou,mydear,inmoreplacesthanone.IcannotsaythatIampleasedwithallIhave

written--yetwillnotnowalterit.Mymindisnotateaseenoughforthesubject.Don'tbeangrywithme.Yet,ifyoucanexcuseoneortwopassages,itwillbebecausetheywerewrittenby

YourCLARISSAHARLOWE.

*SeeLetterXL,ibid.

LETTERII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEWEDNESDAYNIGHT,MARCH22.

ANGRY!--WhatshouldIbeangryfor?Iammightilypleasedwithyourfreedom,asyoucallit.Ionlywonderatyourpatiencewithme;that'sall.IamsorryIgaveyouthetroubleofsolongaletterupontheoccasion,*notwithstandingthepleasureIreceivedinreadingit.

*SeeVol.I,LetterXXXVII,fortheoccasion;andLettersXXXVIII.andXL.ofthesamevolume,forthefreedomClarissaapologizesfor.

Ibelieveyoudidnotintendreservestome:fortworeasonsIbelieveyoudidnot:First,becauseyousayyoudidnot:Next,becauseyouhavenotasyetbeenabletoconvinceyourselfhowitistobewithyou;andpersecutedasyouare,howsotoseparatetheeffectsthatspringfromthetwocauses[persecutionandlove]astogivetoeachitsparticulardue.ButthisIbelieveIhintedtoyouoncebefore;andsowillsaynomoreuponthissubjectatpresent.



Robinsays,youhadbutjustdepositedyourlastparcelwhenhetookit:forhewastherebuthalfanhourbefore,andfoundnothing.Hehadseenmyimpatience,andloiteredabout,beingwillingtobringmesomethingfromyou,ifpossible.

MycousinJennyFynnettishere,anddesirestobemybedfellowto-night.SoIshallnothaveanopportunitytositdownwiththatseriousnessandattentionwhichthesubjectsofyoursrequire.Forsheisallprate,youknow,andlovestosetmeaprating;yetcomesuponaverygraveoccasion--toprocuremymothertogowithhertohergrandmotherLarking,whohaslongbeenbed-ridden;andatlasthastakenitintoherheadthatsheismortal,andthereforewillmakeherwill;aworkshewastillnowextremelyaverseto;butitmustbeuponconditionthatmymother,whoisherdistantrelation,willgotoher,andadviseherastotheparticularsofit:forshehasahighopinion,aseveryoneelsehas,ofmymother'sjudgmentinallmattersrelatingtowills,settlements,andsuch-likenotableaffairs.

Mrs.Larkinglivesaboutseventeenmilesoff;andasmymothercannotenduretolieoutofherownhouse,sheproposestosetoutearlyinthemorning,thatshemightbeabletogetbackagainatnight.So,to-morrowIshallbeatyourdevotionfromday-lighttoday-light;norwillIbeathometoanybody.

Ihavehintedbefore,thatIcouldalmostwishmymotherandMr.Hickmanwouldmakeamatchofit:andIhererepeatmywishes.Whatsignifiesadifferenceoffifteenortwentyyears;especiallywhentheladyhasspiritsthatwillmakeheryoungalongtime,andtheloverisamightysoberman?--Ithink,verily,Icouldlikehimbetterforapapa,thanforanearerrelation:andtheyarestrangeadmirersofoneanother.

Butallowmeaperhapsstillbetter(and,astoyears,moresuitableandhappier)disposal;forthemanatleast.--Whatthinkyou,mydear,ofcompromisingwithyourfriends,byrejectingbothmen,andencouragingmyparader?--Ifyourlikingoneofthetwogonofartherthanconditional,Ibelieveitwilldo.Arichthought,ifitobtainyourapprobation!Inthislight,Ishouldhaveaprodigiousrespectfor

Mr.Hickman;morebyhalfthanIcanhaveintheother.Theveinisopened--ShallIletitflow?Howdifficulttowithstandconstitutionalfoibles!

Hickmaniscertainlyamanmoreinyourtastethananyofthosewhohavehithertobeenbroughttoaddressyou.Heismightysober,mightygrave,andallthat.Thenyouhavetoldme,thatheisyourfavourite.Butthatisbecauseheismymother'sperhaps.Themanwouldcertainlyrejoiceatthetransfer;orhemustbeagreaterfoolthanItakehimtobe.

Obutyourfierceloverwouldknockhimo'thehead--Iforgotthat!--WhatmakesmeincapableofseriousnesswhenIwriteaboutHickman?--Yetthemansogoodasortofmaninthemain!--Butwhois

perfect?Thisisoneofmyfoibles:anditissomethingforyoutochidemefor.

Youbelievemetobeveryhappyinmyprospectinrelationtohim:becauseyouaresoveryunhappyinthefoolishusageyoumeetwith,youareapt(asIsuspect)tothinkthattolerablewhichotherwisewouldbefarfrombeingso.Idaresay,youwouldnot,withallyourgraveairs,likehimforyourself;except,beingaddressedbySolmesandhim,youwereobligedtohaveoneofthem.--Ihavegivenyouatest.Letmeseewhatyouwillsaytoit.



Formyownpart,Iconfesstoyou,thatIhavegreatexceptionstoHickman.Heandwedlockneveryetonceenteredintomyheadatonetime.ShallIgiveyoumyfreethoughtsofhim?--Ofhisbestandhisworst;andthatasifIwerewritingtoonewhoknowshimnot?--IthinkIwill.YetitisimpossibleIshoulddoitgravely.Thesubjectwon'tbeartobesotreatedinmyopinion.Wearenotcomesofarasthatyet,ifeverweshall:andtodoitinanotherstrain,illbecomesmypresentrealconcernforyou.

*****

HereIwasinterruptedonthehonestman'saccount.Hehasbeenherethesetwohours--courtingthemotherforthedaughter,Isuppose--yetshewantsnocourtingneither:'Tiswelloneofusdoes;elsethemanwouldhavenothingbuthalcyon;andberemiss,andsaucyofcourse.

Hewasgoing.Hishorsesatthedoor.Mymothersentformedown,pretendingtowanttosaysomethingtome.

SomethingshesaidwhenIcamethatsignifiednothing--Evidently,fornoreasoncalledme,buttogivemeanopportunitytoseewhatafinebow

hermancouldmake;andthatshemightwishmeagoodnight.SheknowsIamnotoverreadytoobligehimwithmycompany,ifIhappentobeotherwiseengaged.Icouldnothelpanairalittleuponthefretful,whenIfoundshehadnothingofmomenttosaytome,andwhenIsawherintention.

Shesmiledoffthevisiblefretfulness,thatthemanmightgoawayingoodhumourwithhimself.

Hebowedtotheground,andwouldhavetakenmyhand,hiswhipintheother.Ididnotliketobesocompanioned:Iwithdrewmyhand,buttouchedhiselbowwithamotion,asiffromhislowbowIhadsupposedhimfalling,andwouldhavehelpedhimup--Asadslip,itmighthave

been!saidI.

Amadgirl!smileditoffmymother.

Hewasquiteputout;tookhishorse-bridle,stumpedback,back,back,bowing,tillherunagainsthisservant.Ilaughed.Hemountedhishorse.Imountedupstairs,afteralittlelecture;andmyheadissofilledwithhim,thatImustresumemyintention,inhopestodivertyouforafewmoments.

Takeitthen--hisbest,andhisworst,asIsaidbefore.

Hickmanisasortoffiddling,busy,yet,toborrowawordfromyou,

unbusyman:hasagreatdealtodo,andseemstometodispatchnothing.Irresoluteandchangeableineverything,butinteasingmewithhisnonsense;whichyet,itisevident,hemustcontinueuponmymother'sinterestmorethanuponhisownhopes;fornonehaveIgivenhim.

ThenIhaveaquarrelagainsthisface,thoughinhisperson,forawell-thrivenman,tolerablygenteel--Nottohisfeaturessomuchneither;forwhat,asyouhaveoftenobserved,arefeaturesinaman?--ButHickman,withstronglines,andbigcheekandchinbones,hasnotthemanlinessinhisaspect,whichLovelacehaswiththemost



regularandagreeablefeatures.

Thenwhatasetandformalmortalheisinsomethings!--Ihavenotbeenableyettolaughhimoutofhislongbidandbeads.Indeed,thatis,becausemymotherthinkstheybecomehim;andIwouldnotbesofreewithhim,astoownIshouldchoosetohavehimleaveitoff.Ifhedid,soparticularistheman,hewouldcertainly,iflefttohimself,fallintoaKing-William'scravat,orsomesuchantiquechin-cushion,asbythepicturesofthatprinceoneseeswasthenthefashion.

Astohisdressingeneral,hecannotindeedbecalledasloven,butsometimesheistoogaudy,atothertimestooplain,tobeuniformlyelegant.Andforhismanners,hemakessuchabustlewiththem,andaboutthem,aswouldinduceonetosuspectthattheyaremorestrangersthanfamiliarstohim.You,Iknow,laythistohisfearfulnessofdisobligingoroffending.Indeedyourover-doersgenerallygivetheoffencetheyendeavourtoavoid.

Themanhoweverishonest:isoffamily:hasaclearandgoodestate;andmayonedaybeabaronet,an'tpleaseyou.Heishumaneandbenevolent,tolerablygenerous,aspeoplesay;andasImightsaytoo,ifIwouldacceptofhisbribes;whichheoffersinhopesofhavingthemallbackagain,andthebribedintothebargain.Amethodtakenbyallcorrupters,fromoldSatan,tothelowestofhisservants.Yet,tospeak

inthelanguageofapersonIamboundtohonour,heisdeemedaprudentman;thatistosayagoodmanager.

ThenIcannotbutconfess,thatnowIlikenotanybodybetter,whateverIdidonce.

Heisnofox-hunter:hekeepsapackindeed;butprefersnothishoundstohisfellow-creatures.Nobadsignforawife,Iown.Heloveshishorse;butdislikesracinginagamingway,aswellasallsortsofgaming.Thenheissober;modest;theysay,virtuous;inshort,hasqualitiesthatmotherswouldbefondofinahusbandfortheirdaughters;andforwhichperhapstheirdaughterswouldbethehappiercouldtheyjudgeaswellforthemselves,asexperiencepossiblymay

teachthemtojudgefortheirfuturedaughters.

Nevertheless,toownthetruth,IcannotsayIlovetheman:nor,Ibelieve,evershall.

Strange!thatthesesoberfellowscannothaveadecentsprightliness,amodestassurancewiththem!Somethingdebonnaire;whichneednotbeseparatedfromthataweandreverence,whentheyaddressawoman,whichshouldshewtheardouroftheirpassion,ratherthanthesheepishnessoftheirnature;forwhoknowsnotthatlovedelightsintamingthelion-hearted?Thatthoseofthesex,whoaremostconsciousoftheirowndefectinpointofcourage,naturallyrequire,andthereforeasnaturallyprefer,themanwhohasmostofit,asthemostabletogive

themtherequisiteprotection?Thatthegreatertheirowncowardice,asitwouldbecalledinaman,thegreateristheirdelightinsubjectsofheroism?Asmaybeobservedintheirreading;whichturnsupondifficultiesencountered,battlesfought,andenemiesovercome,fourorfivehundredbytheprowessofonesinglehero,themoreimprobablethebetter:inshort,thattheirmanshouldbeaherotoeveryonelivingbutthemselves;andtothemknownoboundtohishumility.Awomanhassomegloryinsubduingaheartnomanlivingcanappall;andhencetoooftenthebravo,assumingthehero,andmakinghimselfpassforone,succeedsasonlyaheroshould.



ButasforhonestHickman,thegoodmanissogenerallymeek,asIimagine,thatIknownotwhetherIhaveanypreferencepaidmeinhisobsequiousness.Andthen,whenIratehim,heseemstobesonaturallyfittedforrebuke,andsomuchexpectsit,thatIknownothowtodisappointhim,whetherhejustthendeserveit,ornot.Iamsure,hehaspuzzledmemanyatimewhenIhaveseenhimlookpenitentforfaultshehasnotcommitted,whethertopityorlaughathim.

YouandIhaveoftenretrospectedthefacesandmindsofgrownpeople;thatistosay,haveformedimagesfortheirpresentappearances,outsideandin,(asfarasthemannersofthepersonswouldjustifyusinthelatter)whatsortoffigurestheymadewhenboysandgirls.AndI'lltellyouthelightsinwhichHICKMAN,SOLMES,andLOVELACE,ourthreeheroes,haveappearedtome,supposingthemboysatschool.

SolmesIhaveimaginedtobealittlesordid,pilferingrogue,whowouldpurloinfromeverybody,andbegeverybody'sbreadandbutterfromhim;while,asIhaveheardareptilebrag,hewouldinawinter-morningspituponhisthumbs,andspreadhisownwithit,thathemightkeepitalltohimself.

Hickman,agreatovergrown,lank-haired,chubbyboy,whowouldbehunchedandpunchedbyeverybody;andgohomewithhisfingerinhis

eye,andtellhismother.

WhileLovelaceIhavesupposedacurl-patedvillain,fulloffire,fancy,andmischief;anorchard-robber,awall-climber,ahorse-riderwithoutsaddleorbridle,neckornothing:asturdyrogue,inshort,whowouldkickandcuff,anddonoright,andtakenowrongofanybody;wouldgethisheadbroke,thenaplasterforit,orletithealofitself;whilehewentontodomoremischief,andifnottoget,todeserve,brokenbones.Andthesamedispositionshavegrownupwiththem,anddistinguishthemasme,withnoverymaterialalteration.

Onlythatallmenaremonkeysmoreorless,orelsethatyouandIshouldhavesuchbaboonsasthesetochooseoutof,isamortifying

thing,mydear.

IamsensiblethatIamalittleoutofseasonintreatingthusludicrouslythesubjectIamupon,whileyouaresounhappy;andifmymannerdoesnotdivertyou,asmyflightinessusedtodo,Iaminexcusablebothtoyou,andtomyownheart:which,Idoassureyou,notwithstandingmyseeminglevity,iswhollyinyourcase.

Asthisletterisextremelywhimsical,IwillnotsendituntilIcanaccompanyitwithsomethingmoresolidandbettersuitedtoyourunhappycircumstances;thatistosay,tothepresentsubjectofourcorrespondence.To-morrow,asItoldyou,willbewhollymyown,andofconsequenceyours.Adieu,therefore,tillthen.

LETTERIII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETUESDAYMORN.7O'CLOCK

Mymotherandcousinarealreadygoneoffinourchariotandfour,



attendedbytheirdoughty'squireonhorseback,andhebytwoofhisownservants,andoneofmymother's.Theybothloveparadewhentheygoabroad,atleastincomplimenttooneanother;whichshews,thateachthinkstheotherdoes.Robinisyourservantandmine,andnobody'selse--andthedayisallmyown.

Imustbeginwithblamingyou,mydear,foryourresolutionnottolitigateforyourright,ifoccasionweretobegivenyou.Justiceisduetoourselves,aswellastoeverybodyelse.StillmoremustIblameyoufordeclaringtoyourauntandsister,thatyouwillnot:since(astheywilltellittoyourfatherandbrother)thedeclarationmustneedsgiveadvantagetospiritswhohavesolittleofthatgenerosityforwhichyouaresomuchdistinguished.

Thereneverwasaspiritintheworldthatwouldinsultwhereitdared,butitwouldcreepandcringewhereitdarednot.Letmeremindyouofasentenceofyourown,theoccasionforwhichIhaveforgotten:'Thatlittlespiritswillalwaysaccommodatethemselvestothetemperofthosetheywouldworkupon:willfawnuponasturdy-temperedperson:willinsultthemeek:'--AndanothergiventoMissBiddulph,uponanoccasionyoucannotforget:--'Ifweassumeadignityinwhatwesayanddo,andtakecarenottodisgracebyarroganceourownassumption,everybodywilltreatuswithrespectanddeference.'

Irememberthatyouoncemadeanobservation,whichyousaid,youwasobligedtoMrs.Nortonfor,andshetoherfather,uponanexcellentpreacher,whowasbutanindifferentliver:'Thattoexcelintheory,andtoexcelinpractice,generallyrequireddifferenttalents;whichdidnotalwaysmeetinthesameperson.'Doyou,mydear(towhomtheoryandpracticearethesamethinginalmosteverylaudablequality),applytheobservationtoyourself,inthisparticularcase,whereresolutionisrequired;andwheretheperformanceofthewillofthedefunctisthequestion--nomoretobedispensedwithbyyou,inwhosefavouritwasmade,thanbyanybodyelsewhohaveonlythemselvesinviewbybreakingthroughit.

Iknowhowmuchyoudespiserichesinthemain:butyetitbehoves

youtoremember,thatinoneinstanceyouyourselfhavejudgedthemvaluable--'Inthattheyputitintoourpowertolayobligations;whilethewantofthatpowerputsapersonunderanecessityofreceivingfavours--receivingthemperhapsfromgrudgingandnarrowspirits,whoknownothowtoconferthemwiththatgrace,whichgivestheprincipalmerittoabeneficentaction.'--Reflectuponthis,mydear,andseehowitagreeswiththedeclarationyouhavemadetoyourauntandsister,thatyouwouldnotresumeyourestate,wereyoutobeturnedoutofdoors,andreducedtoindigenceandwant.Theirveryfearsthatyouwillresume,pointouttoyouthenecessityofresuminguponthetreatmentyoumeetwith.

Iown,that(atfirstreading)Iwasmuchaffectedwithyourmother's

lettersentwiththepatterns.Astrangemeasurehoweverfromamother;forshedidnotintendtoinsultyou;andIcannotbutlamentthatsosensibleandsofineawomanshouldstooptosomuchartasthatletteriswrittenwith:andwhichalsoappearsinsomeoftheconversationsyouhavegivenmeanaccountof.Seeyounotinherpassiveness,whatboisterousspiritscanobtainfromgentler,merelybyteasingandill-nature?

IknowthepridetheyhavealwaystakenincallingyouaHarlowe--ClarissaHarlowe,soformalandsoset,ateveryword,



whentheyaregraveorproudlysolemn.--Yourmotherhaslearntitofthem--andasinmarriage,soinwill,hasbeentaughttoburyherownsuperiornameandfamilyintheirs.Ihaveoftenthoughtthatthesamespiritgovernedthem,inthispieceofaffectation,andothersofthelikenature(asHarlowe-Place,andso-forth,thoughnottheelderbrother'sorpaternalseat),asgovernedthetyrantTudor,*whomarryingElizabeth,theheiressofthehouseofYork,madehimselfatitletoathrone,whichhewouldnototherwisehavehad(beingbutabasedescendantoftheLancasterline);andprovedagloomyandvilehusbandtoher;fornoothercause,thanbecauseshehadlaidhimunderobligationswhichhispridewouldnotpermithimtoown.--Norwouldtheunprincelywretchmarryhertillhewasinpossessionofthecrown,thathemightnotbesupposedtooweittoherclaim.

*HenryVII.

Youhavechiddenme,andagainwill,Idoubtnot,forthelibertiesItakewithsomeofyourrelations.Butmydear,needItellyou,thatprideinourselvesmust,andforeverwill,provokecontempt,andbringdownuponusabasementfromothers?--Havewenot,inthecaseofacelebratedbard,observed,thatthosewhoaimatmorethantheirdue,willberefusedthehonourstheymayjustlyclaim?--Iamverymuchloth

tooffendyou;yetIcannothelpspeakingofyourrelations,aswellasofothers,asIthinktheydeserve.Praiseordispraise,istherewardorpunishmentwhichtheworldconfersorinflictsonmeritordemerit;and,formypart,Ineithercannorwillconfoundthemintheapplication.Idespisethemall,butyourmother:indeedIdo:andasforher--butIwillsparethegoodladyforyoursake--andoneargument,indeed,Ithinkmaybepleadedinherfavour,inthepresentcontention--shewhohasforsomanyyears,andwithsuchabsoluteresignation,bornewhatshehasbornetothesacrificeofherownwill,maythinkitaneasiertaskthananotherpersoncanimagineit,forherdaughtertogiveuphers.Buttothinktowhoseinstigationallthisisoriginallyowing--Godforgiveme;butwithsuchusageIshouldhavebeenwithLovelacebeforenow!Yetremember,mydear,thatthestepwhich

wouldnotbewonderedatfromsuchahasty-temperedcreaturesasme,wouldbeinexcusableinsuchaconsideratepersonasyou.

Afteryourmotherhasbeenthusdrawninagainstherjudgment,Iamthelesssurprised,thatyourauntHerveyshouldgoalongwithher;sincethetwosistersneverseparate.IhaveinquiredintothenatureoftheobligationwhichMr.Hervey'sindifferentconductinhisaffairshaslaidhimunder--itisonly,itseems,thatyourbrotherhaspaidoffforhimamortgageupononepartofhisestate,whichthemortgageewasabouttoforeclose;andtakenituponhimself.Asmallfavour(ashehasamplesecurityinhishands)fromkindredtokindred:butsuchaone,itisplain,ashaslaidthewholefamilyoftheHerveysunderobligationtotheungenerouslender,whohastreatedhim,andhisaunttoo(as

MissDollyHerveyhasprivatelycomplained),withthelessceremonyeversince.

MustI,mydear,callsuchacreatureyourbrother?--IbelieveImust--Becauseheisyourfather'sson.Thereisnoharm,Ihope,insayingthat.

Iamconcerned,thatyoueverwroteatalltohim.Itwastakingtoomuchnoticeofhim:itwasaddingtohisself-significance;andacalluponhimtotreatyouwithinsolence.Acallwhichyoumighthavebeen



assuredhewouldnotfailtoanswer.

Butsuchaprettymasterasthis,torunriotagainstsuchamanasLovelace;whohadtaughthimtoputhisswordintohisscabbard,whenhehadpulleditoutbyaccident!--Thesein-doorinsolents,who,turningthemselvesintobugbears,frightenwomen,children,andservants,aregenerallycravensamongmen.Werehetocomefairlyacrossme,andsaytomyfacesomeofthefreethingswhichIamtoldhehassaidofmebehindmyback,orthat(asbyyouraccount)hehassaidofoursex,Iwouldtakeuponmyselftoaskhimtwoorthreequestions;althoughheweretosendmeachallengelikewise.

Irepeat,youknowthatIwillspeakmymind,andwriteittoo.Heisnotmybrother.Canyousay,heisyours?--So,foryourlife,ifyouarejust,youcan'tbeangrywithme:Forwouldyousidewithafalsebrotheragainstatruefriend?Abrothermaynotbeafriend:butafriendwillalwaysbeabrother--mindthat,asyouruncleTonysays!

Icannotdescendsolow,astotakeveryparticularnoticeoftheepistlesofthesepoorsouls,whomyoucalluncles.YetIlovetodivertmyselfwithsuchgrotesquecharacterstoo.ButIknowthemandloveyou;andsocannotmakethejestofthemwhichtheirabsurditiescallfor.

Youchideme,mydear,*formyfreedomswithrelationsstillnearerand

dearertoyou,thaneitherunclesorbrotherorsister.Youhadbetterhavepermittedme(uncorrected)tohavetakenmyownway.Donotusethosefreedomsnaturallyarisefromthesubjectbeforeus?Andfromwhomarisesthatsubject,Iprayyou?Canyouforonequarterofanhourputyourselfinmyplace,orintheplaceofthosewhoarestillmoreindifferenttothecasethanIcanbe?--Ifyoucan--ButalthoughIhaveyounotoftenatadvantage,Iwillnotpushyou.

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXVIII.

Permitme,however,tosubjoin,thatwellmayyourfatherloveyour

mother,asyousayhedoes.Awifewhohasnowillbuthis!Butweretherenot,thinkyou,somestrugglesbetweenthematfirst,goutoutofthequestion?--Yourmother,whenamaiden,had,asIhaveheard(anditisverylikely)agoodshareofthoselivelyspiritswhichshelikedinyourfather.Shehasnoneofthemnow.Howcametheytobedissipated?--Ah!mydear!--shehasbeentoolongresidentinTrophonius'scave,Idoubt.*

*Spectator,Vol.VIII.No.599.

Letmeaddonereflectionuponthissubject,andsoentitlemyselfto

yourcorrectionforallatonce.--Itisupontheconductofthosewives(foryouandIknowmorethanonesuch)whocansufferthemselvestobeout-blusteredandout-gloomedoftheirownwills,insteadofbeingfooledoutofthembyactsoftendernessandcomplaisance.--Iwish,thatitdoesnotdemonstratetooevidently,that,withsomeofthesex,insolentcontroulisamoreefficacioussubduerthankindnessorconcession.Uponmylife,mydear,Ihaveoftenthought,thatmanyofusaremerebabiesinmatrimony:perversefoolswhentoomuchindulgedandhumoured;creepingslaves,whentreatedharshly.Butshallitbesaid,thatfearmakesusmoregentleobligersthanlove?--Forbidit,Honour!



Forbidit,Gratitude!Forbidit,Justice!thatanywomanofsenseshouldgiveoccasiontohavethissaidofher!

DidIthinkyouwouldhaveanymannerofdoubt,fromthestyleorcontentsofthisletter,whosesaucypenitisthathasrunonatthisrate,Iwouldwritemynameatlength;sinceitcomestoomuchfrommyhearttodisavowit:butatpresenttheinitialsshallserve;andIwillgoonagaindirectly.

A.H.

LETTERIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYMORN.10O'CLOCK(MAR.23).

Iwillpostpone,orperhapspassby,severalobservationswhichIhadtomakeonotherpartsofyourletters;toacquaintyou,thatMr.Hickman,wheninLondon,foundanopportunitytoinquireafterMr.Lovelace'stownlifeandconversation.

AttheCocoa-tree,inPall-mall,hefellinwithtwoofhisintimates,theonenamedBelton,theotherMowbray;bothveryfreeofspeech,andprobablyasfreeintheirlives:butthewaiterspaidthemgreatrespect,andonMr.Hickman'sinquiryaftertheircharacters,calledthemmenoffortuneandhonour.

TheybegantotalkofMr.Lovelaceoftheirownaccord;anduponsomegentlemenintheroomasking,whentheyexpectedhimintown,answered,thatveryday.Mr.Hickman(astheybothwentonpraisingLovelace)said,hehadindeedheard,thatMr.Lovelacewasaveryfinegentleman--andwasproceeding,whenoneofthem,interruptinghim,said,--Only,Sir,thefinestgentlemanintheworld;that'sall.

Andsoheledthemontoexpatiatemoreparticularlyonhisqualities;whichtheywereveryfondofdoing:butsaidnotonesinglewordinbehalfofhismorals--Mindthatalso,inyouruncle'sstyle.

Mr.Hickmansaid,thatMr.Lovelacewasveryhappy,asheunderstood,intheesteemoftheladies;andsmiling,tomakethembelievehedidnotthinkamissofit,thathepushedhisgoodfortuneasfarasitwouldgo.

Wellput,Mr.Hickman!thoughtI;equallygraveandsage--thouseemestnottobeastrangertotheirdialect,asIsupposethisis.ButIsaidnothing;forIhaveoftentriedtofindoutthismightsobermanofmymother's:buthithertohaveonlytosay,thatheiseitherverymoral,

orverycunning.

Nodoubtofit,repliedoneofthem;andoutcameanoath,withaWhowouldnot?--Thathedidaseveryyoungfellowwoulddo.

Verytrue!saidmymother'spuritan--butIhearheisintreatywithafinelady--

Sohewas,Mr.Beltonsaid--Thedevilfetchher![vilebrute!]forsheengrossedallhistime--butthatthelady'sfamilyoughtto



be--something--[Mr.Hickmandesiredtobeexcusedrepeatingwhat--thoughhehadrepeatedwhatwasworse]andmightdearlyrepenttheirusageofamanofhisfamilyandmerit.

Perhapstheymaythinkhimtoowild,criesHickman:andtheirsis,Ihear,averysoberfamily--

SOBER!saidoneofthem:Agoodhonestword,Dick!--Wherethedevilhasitlainallthistime?--D----meifIhaveheardofitinthissenseeversinceIwasatcollege!andthen,saidhe,webandieditaboutamongtwentyofusasanobsolete.

These,mydear,areMr.Lovelace'scompanions:you'llbepleasedtotakenoticeofthat!

Mr.Hickmansaid,thisputhimoutofcountenance.

Istaredathim,andwithsuchameaninginmyeyes,asheknewhowtotake;andsowasoutofcountenanceagain.

Don'tyouremember,mydear,whoitwasthattoldayounggentlemandesignedforthegown,whoownedthathewasapttobetooeasilyputoutofcountenancewhenhecameintofreecompany,'Thatitwasabadsign;thatitlookedasifhismoralswerenotproof;butthathisgood

dispositionseemedrathertheeffectofaccidentandeducation,thanofsuchachoiceaswasfoundeduponprinciple?'Anddon'tyouknowthelessontheverysameyoungladygavehim,'Toendeavourtostemanddiscountenancevice,andtogloryinbeinganadvocateinallcompaniesforvirtue;'particularlyobserving,'Thatitwasnaturalforamantoshunortogiveupwhathewasashamedof?'Whichsheshouldbesorrytothinkhiscaseonthisoccasion:adding,'Thatvicewasacoward,andwouldhideitshead,whenopposedbysuchavirtueashadpresenceofmind,andafullpersuasionofitsownrectitudetosupportit.'Thelady,youmayremember,modestlyputherdoctrineintothemouthofaworthypreacher,Dr.Lewen,assheusedtodo,whenshehasamindnottobethoughtwhatsheisatsoearlyanage;andthatitmaygivemoreweighttoanythingshehitupon,thatmightappeartolerable,washer

modestmannerofspeech.

Mr.Hickman,uponthewhole,professedtome,uponhissecondrecovery,thathehadnoreasontothinkwellofMr.Lovelace'smorals,fromwhatheheardofhimintown;yethistwointimatestalkedofhisbeingmoreregularthanheusedtobe.Thathehadmadeaverygoodresolution,thatofoldTomWharton,wastheexpression,Thathewouldnevergiveachallenge,norrefuseone;whichtheypraisedinhimhighly:that,inshort,hewasaverybravefellow,andthemostagreeablecompanionintheworld:andwouldonedaymakeagreatfigureinhiscountry;sincetherewasnothinghewasnotcapableof--

Iamafraidthathislastassertionistootrue.Andthis,mydear,is

allthatMr.Hickmancouldpickupabouthim:Andisitnotenoughtodeterminesuchamindasyours,ifnotalreadydetermined?

Yetitmustbesaidtoo,thatiftherebeawomanintheworldthatcanreclaimhim,itisyou.And,byyouraccountofhisbehaviourintheinterviewbetweenyou,IownIhavesomehopeofhim.Atleast,thisIwillsay,thatalltheargumentshethenusedwithyou,seemedtobejustandright.Andifyouaretobehis--Butnomoreofthat:hecannot,afterall,deserveyou.



LETTERV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYAFTERNOON,MARCH23.

Anunexpectedvisitorhasturnedthecourseofmythoughts,andchangedthesubjectIhadintendedtopursue.TheonlyoneforwhomIwouldhavedispensedwithmyresolutionnottoseeanybodyallthededicatedday:avisiter,whom,accordingtoMr.Hickman'sreportfromtheexpectationsofhislibertinefriends,Isupposedtobeintown.--Now,mydear,haveIsavedmyselfthetroubleoftellingyou,thatitwasyoutoo-agreeablerake.Oursexissaidtolovetotradeinsurprises:yethaveI,bymypromptitude,surprisedmyselfoutofmine.Ihadintended,youmustknow,toruntwicethelength,beforeIhadsufferedyoutoknowsomuchastoguesswho,andwhethermanorwoman,myvisiterwas:butsinceyouhavethediscoveryatsocheaparate,youarewelcometoit.

Theendofhiscomingwas,toengagemyinterestwithmycharmingfriend;andhewassurethatIknewallyourmind,toacquainthimwhathehadtotrustto.

Hementionedwhathadpassedintheinterviewbetweenyou:butcouldnotbesatisfiedwiththeresultofit,andwiththelittlesatisfactionhehadobtainedfromyou:themaliceofyourfamilytohimincreasing,andtheircrueltytoyounotabating.Hisheart,hetoldme,wasintumults,forfearyoushouldbeprevaileduponinfavourofamandespisedbyeverybody.

Hegavemefreshinstanceofindignitiescastuponhimselfbyyourunclesandbrother;anddeclared,thatifyousufferedyourselftobeforcedintothearmsofthemanforwhosesakehewasloadedwithundeservedabuses,youshouldbeoneoftheyoungest,asyouwouldbeoneoftheloveliestwidowsinEngland.Andthathewouldmoreovercallyourbrothertoaccountforthelibertieshetakeswithhischaracterto

everyonehemeetswith.

Heproposedseveralschemes,foryoutochoosesomeoneofthem,inordertoenableyoutoavoidthepersecutionsyoulabourunder:OneIwillmention--Thatyouwillresumeyourestate;andifyoufinddifficultiesthatcanbenootherwisesurmounted,thatyouwill,eitheravowedlyorprivately,ashehadproposedtoyou,acceptofLadyBettyLawrance'sorLordM.'sassistancetoinstateyouinit.Hedeclared,thatifyoudid,hewouldleaveabsolutelytoyourownpleasureafterwards,andtotheadvicewhichyourcousinMordenonhisarrivalshouldgiveyou,whethertoencouragehisaddress,ornot,asyoushouldbeconvincedofthesincerityofthereformationwhichhisenemiesmakehimsomuchwant.

Ihadnowagoodopportunitytosoundhim,asyouwishedMr.HickmanwouldLordM.astothecontinuedordiminishedfavouroftheladies,andofhisLordship,towardsyou,upontheirbeingacquaintedwiththeanimosityofyourrelationstothem,aswellastotheirkinsman.Ilaidholdoftheopportunity,andhesatisfiedme,byreadingsomepassagesofaletterhehadabouthim,fromLordM.Thatanalliancewithyou,andthatonthefootofyourownsinglemerit,wouldbethemostdesirableeventtothemthatcouldhappen:andsofartothepurposeofyourwishedinquirydoeshisLordshipgointhisletter,thatheassures



him,thatwhateveryousufferinfortunefromtheviolenceofyourrelationsonhisaccount,heandLadySarahandLadyBettywilljointomakeituptohim.Andyetthatthereputationofafamilysosplendid,would,nodoubt,inacaseofsuchimportancetothehonourofboth,makethempreferageneralconsent.

Itoldhim,asyouyourselfIknewhaddone,thatyouwereextremelyaversetoMr.Solmes;andthat,mightyoubelefttoyourownchoice,itwouldbethesinglelife.Astohimself,Iplainlysaid,Thatyouhadgreatandjustobjectionstohimonthescoreofhiscarelessmorals:thatitwassurprising,thatmenwhogavethemselvesthelibertieshewassaidtotake,shouldpresumetothink,thatwhenevertheytookitintotheirheadstomarry,themostvirtuousandworthyofthesexweretofalltotheirlot.Thatastotheresumption,ithadbeenverystronglyurgedbymyself,andwouldbestillfurtherurged;thoughyouhadbeenhithertoaversetothatmeasure:thatyourchiefrelianceandhopeswereuponyourcousinMorden;andthattosuspendorgaintimetillhearrived,was,asIbelieved,yourprincipalaim.

Itoldhim,Thatwithregardtothemischiefhethreatened,neithertheactnorthemenacecouldserveanyendbuttheirswhopersecutedyou;asitwouldgivethemapretenceforcarryingintoeffecttheircompulsoryprojects;andthatwiththeapprobationofalltheworld;sincehemustnotthinkthepublicwouldgiveitsvoiceinfavourofaviolentyoung

man,ofnoextraordinarycharacterastomorals,whoshouldseektorobafamilyofeminenceofachildsovaluable;andwhothreatened,ifhecouldnotobtainherinpreferencetoamanchosenbythemselves,thathewouldavengehimselfuponthemallbyactsofviolence.

Iadded,Thathewasverymuchmistaken,ifhethoughttointimidateyoubysuchmenaces:forthat,thoughyourdispositionwasallsweetness,yetIknewnotasteadiertemperintheworldthanyours;noronemoreinflexible,(asyourfriendshadfound,andwouldstillfurtherfind,iftheycontinuedtogiveoccasionforitsexertion,)wheneveryouthoughtyourselfintheright;andthatyouwereungenerouslydealtwithinmattersoftoomuchmomenttobeindifferentabout.MissClarissaHarlowe,Mr.Lovelace,letmetellyou,saidI,timidasherforesight

andprudencemaymakeherinsomecases,wheresheapprehendsdangerstothosesheloves,isabovefear,inpointswhereherhonour,andthetruedignityofhersex,areconcerned.--Inshort,Sir,youmustnotthinktofrightenMissClarissaHarloweintosuchameanorunworthyconductasonlyaweakorunsteadymindcanbeguiltyof.

Hewassoveryfarfromintendingtointimidateyou,hesaid,thathebesoughtmenottomentiononewordtoyouofwhathadpassedbetweenus:thatwhathehadhintedat,whichcarriedtheairofmenace,wasowingtothefervourofhisspirits,raisedbyhisapprehensionsoflosingallhopeofyouforever;andonasupposition,thatyouweretobeactuallyforcedintothearmsofamanyouhated:thatwerethistobethecase,hemustown,thatheshouldpayverylittleregardtothe

world,oritscensures:especiallyasthemenacesofsomeofyourfamilynow,andtheirtriumphoverhimafterwards,wouldbothprovokeandwarrantallthevengeancehecouldtake.

Headded,thatallthecountriesintheworldwerealiketohim,butonyouraccount:sothat,whateverheshouldthinkfittodo,wereyoulosttohim,heshouldhavenotingtoapprehendfromthelawsofthis.

Ididnotlikethedeterminedairhespokethiswith:heiscertainlycapableofgreatrashness.



Hepalliatedalittlethisfierceness(whichbythewayIwarmlycensured)bysaying,Thatwhileyouremainsingle,hewillbearalltheindignitiesthatshallbecastuponhimbyyourfamily.Butwouldyouthrowyourself,ifyouwerestillfartherdriven,intoanyotherprotection,ifnotLordM.'s,orthatoftheladiesofhisfamily,intomymother's,*suppose;orwouldyougotoLondontoprivatelodgings,wherehewouldnevervisityou,unlesshehadyourleave(andfromwhenceyoumightmakeyourowntermswithyourrelations);hewouldbeentirelysatisfied;andwould,ashehadsaidbefore,waittheeffectofyourcousin'sarrival,andyourfreedeterminationastohisownfate.Adding,thatheknewthefamilysowell,andhowmuchfixedtheywereupontheirmeasures,aswellastheabsolutedependencetheyhaduponyourtemperandprinciples,thathecouldnotbutapprehendtheworst,whileyouremainedintheirpower,andundertheinfluenceoftheirpersuasionsandmenaces.

*Perhapsitwillbeunnecessarytoremindthereader,thatalthoughMr.Lovelaceproposes(asabove)toMissHowe,thatherfairfriendshouldhaverecoursetotheprotectionofMrs.Howe,iffartherdriven;yethehadartfullytakencare,bymeansofhisagentintheHarlowefamily,notonlytoinflamethefamilyagainsther,buttodepriveherof

Mrs.Howe's,andofeveryotherprotection,beingfromthefirstresolvedtoreducehertoanabsolutedependenceuponhimself.SeeVol.I.LetterXXXI.

Wehadagreatdealofotherdiscourse:butastherecitingoftherestwouldbebutarepetitionofmanyofthethingsthatpassedbetweenyouandhimintheinterviewbetweenyouinthewood-house,Irefermyselftoyourmemoryonthatoccasion.*

*SeeVol.I.LetterXXXVI.

Andnow,mydear,uponthewhole,Ithinkitbehovesyoutomakeyourselfindependent:allthenwillfallright.Thismanisaviolentman.Ishouldwish,methinks,thatyoushouldnothaveeitherhimorSolmes.Youwillfind,ifyougetoutofyourbrother'sandsister'sway,whatyoucanorcannotdo,withregardtoeither.

Ifyourrelationspersistintheirfoolishscheme,IthinkIwilltakehishint,and,ataproperopportunity,soundmymother.Meantime,letmehaveyourclearopinionoftheresumption,whichIjoinwithLovelaceinadvising.Youcanbutseehowyourdemandwillwork.Todemand,isnottolitigate.Butbeyourresolutionwhatitwill,donotbyanymeansrepeattothem,thatyouwillnotassertyourright.Iftheygoon

togiveyouprovocation,youmayhavesufficientreasontochangeyourmind:andletthemexpectthatyouwillchangeit.Theyhavenotthegenerositytotreatyouthebetterfordisclaimingthepowertheyknowyouhave.That,Ithink,neednotnowbetoldyou.Iam,mydearestfriend,andeverwillbe,

YourmostaffectionateandfaithfulANNAHOWE.



LETTERVI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDN.NIGHT,MARCH22.

Onthereportmadebymyauntandsisterofmyobstinacy,myassembledrelationshavetakenanunanimousresolution(asBettytellsmeitis)againstme.Thisresolutionyouwillfindsignifiedtomeintheinclosedletterfrommybrother,justnowbroughtme.Bepleasedtoreturnit,whenperused.Imayhaveoccasionforit,inthealtercationsbetweenmyrelationsandme.

*****

MISSCLARY,

Iamcommandedtoletyouknow,thatmyfatheranduncleshavingheardyourauntHervey'saccountofallthathaspassedbetweenherandyou:havingheardfromyoursisterwhatsortoftreatmentshehashadfromyou:havingrecollectedallthathaspassedbetweenyourmotherandyou:havingweighedallyourpleasandproposals:havingtakeninto

considerationtheirengagementswithMr.Solmes;thatgentleman'spatience,andgreataffectionforyou;andthelittleopportunityyouhavegivenyourselftobeacquaintedeitherwithhismerit,orhisproposals:havingconsideredtwopointsmore;towit,thewoundedauthorityofafather;andMr.Solmes'scontinuedentreaties(littleasyouhavedeservedregardfromhim)thatyoumaybefreedfromaconfinementtowhichheisdesiroustoattributeyourperversenesstohim[aversenessIshouldhavesaid,butletitgo],hebeingunabletoaccountotherwiseforsostrongaone,supposingyoutoldtruthtoyourmother,whenyouassertedthatyourheartwasfree;andwhichMr.Solmesiswillingtobelieve,thoughnobodyelsedoes--Forallthesereasons,itisresolved,thatyoushallgotoyouruncleAntony's:andyoumustaccordinglyprepareyourselftodoso.Youwillhavebutshortnoticeof

theday,forobviousreasons.

Iwillhonestlytellyouthemotiveforyourgoing:itisadoubleone;first,Thattheymaybesure,thatyoushallnotcorrespondwithanybodytheydonotlike(fortheyfindfromMrs.Howe,that,bysomemeansorother,youdocorrespondwithherdaughter;and,throughher,perhapswithsomebodyelse):andnext,ThatyoumayreceivethevisitsofMr.Solmes;whichyouhavethoughtfittorefusetodohere;bywhichmeansyouhavedeprivedyourselfoftheopportunityofknowingwhomandwhatyouhavehithertorefused.

Ifafteronefortnight'sconversationwithMr.Solmes,andafteryouhaveheardwhatyourfriendsshallfurtherurgeinhisbehalf,

unhardenedbyclandestinecorrespondencies,youshallconvincethem,thatVirgil'samoromnibusidem(fortheapplicationofwhichIreferyoutotheGeorgicastranslatedbyDryden)isverifiedinyou,aswellasintherestoftheanimalcreation;andthatyoucannot,orwillnotforegoyourprepossessioninfavourofthemoral,thevirtuous,thepiousLovelace,[IwouldpleaseyouifIcould!]itwillthenbeconsidered,whethertohumouryou,ortorenounceyouforever.

Itishoped,thatasyoumustgo,youwillgocheerfully.YouruncleAntonywillmakeeverthingathishouseagreeabletoyou.Butindeedhe



won'tpromise,thathewillnot,atpropertimes,drawupthebridge.

Yourvisiters,besidesMr.Solmes,willbemyself,ifyoupermitmethathonour,MissClary;yoursister;and,asyoubehavetoMr.Solmes,yourauntHervey,andyouruncleHarlowe;andyetthetwolatterwillhardlycomeneither,iftheythinkitwillbetohearyourwhiningvocatives.--BettyBarneswillbeyourattendant:andImustneedstellyou,Miss,thatwenoneofusthinktheworseofthefaithfulmaidforyourdislikeofher:althoughBetty,whowouldbegladtoobligeyou,lamentsitasamisfortune.

Youranswerisrequired,whetheryoucheerfullyconsenttogo?Andyourindulgentmotherbidsmeremindyoufromher,thatafortnight'svisitfromMr.Solmes,areallthatismeantatpresent.

Iam,asyoushallbepleasedtodeserve,Yours,&c.JAMESHARLOWE,JUN.

Sohereisthemaster-strokeofmybrother'spolicy!CalledupontoconsenttogotomyuncleAntony'savowedlytoreceiveMr.Solmes'svisits!--Achapel!Amoated-house!--Deprivedoftheopportunityofcorrespondingwithyou!--orofanypossibilityofescape,shouldviolencebeusedtocompelmetobethatodiousman's!*

*Theseviolentmeasures,andtheobstinateperseveranceofthewholefamilyinthem,willbethelesswonderedat,whenitisconsidered,thatallthetimetheywerebutassomanypuppetsdanceduponMr.Lovelace'swires,asheboasts,Vol.I.LetterXXXI.

LateasitwaswhenIreceivedthisinsolentletter,Iwroteananswertoitdirectly,thatitmightbereadyforthewriter'stimeofrising.Iinclosetheroughdraughtofit.YouwillseebyithowmuchhisvilehintfromtheGeorgic;andhisrudeoneofmywhiningvocatives,havesetmeup.Besides,asthecommandtogetreadytogotomyuncle'sis

inthenameofmyfatheranduncles,itisbuttoshewapieceofthearttheyaccusemeof,toresentthevilehintIhavesomuchreasontoresentinordertopalliatemyrefusalofpreparingtogotomyuncle's;whichrefusalwouldotherwisebeinterpretedanactofrebellionbymybrotherandsister:foritseemsplaintome,thattheywillworkbuthalftheirends,iftheydonotdeprivemeofmyfather'sanduncles'favour,evenalthoughitwerepossibleformetocomplywiththeirownterms.

Youmighthavetoldme,Brother,inthreelines,whatthedeterminationofmyfriendswas;only,thatthenyouwouldnothavehadroomtodisplayyourpedantrybysodetestableanallusionorreferencetothe

Georgic.Givemeleavetotellyou,Sir,thatifhumanitywereabranchofyourstudiesattheuniversity,ithasnotfoundageniusinyouformasteringit.Noriseithermysexormyself,thoughasister,Iseeentitledtotheleastdecencyfromabrother,whohasstudied,asitseems,rathertocultivatethemalevolenceofhisnaturaltemper,thananytendencywhichonemighthavehopedhisparentage,ifnothiseducation,mighthavegivenhimtoatolerablepoliteness.

Idoubtnot,thatyouwilltakeamissmyfreedom:butasyouhavedeserveditfromme,Ishallbelessandlessconcernedonthatscore,



asIseeyouaremoreandmoreintenttoshewyourwitattheexpenseofjusticeandcompassion.

ThetimeisindeedcomethatIcannolongerbearthosecontemptsandreflectionswhichabrother,leastofallmen,isentitledtogive.Andletmebegofyouonefavour,Sir:--Itisthis,Thatyouwillnotgiveyourselfanyconcernaboutahusbandforme,tillIshallhavetheforwardnesstoproposeawifetoyou.Pardonme,Sir;butIcannothelpthinking,thatcouldIhavethearttogetmyfatherofmyside,Ishouldhaveasmuchrighttoprescribeforyou,asyouhaveforme.

Astothecommunicationyoumakeme,Imusttakeuponmetosay,ThatalthoughIwillreceive,asbecomesme,anyofmyfather'scommands;yet,asthissignificationismadebyabrother,whohasshewnoflatesomuchofanunbrotherlyanimositytome,(fornoreasonintheworldthatIknowif,butthathebelieveshehas,inme,onesistertoomuchforhisinterest,)Ithinkmyselfentitledtoconclude,thatsuchaletterasyouhavesentme,isallyourown:andofcoursetodeclare,that,whileIsothinkit,Iwillnotwillingly,norevenwithoutviolence,gotoanyplace,avowedlytoreceiveMr.Solmes'svisits.

Ithinkmyselfsomuchentitledtoresentyourinfamoushint,andthisaswellforthesakeofmysex,asformyown,thatIoughttodeclare,asIdo,thatIwillnotreceiveanymoreofyourletters,unless

commandedtodosobyanauthorityIneverwilldispute;exceptinacasewhereIthinkmyfutureaswellaspresenthappinessconcerned:andweresuchacasetohappen,Iamsuremyfather'sharshnesswillbelessowingtohimselfthantoyou;andtothespeciousabsurditiesofyourambitiousandselfishschemes.--Verytrue,Sir!

Onewordmore,provokedasIam,Iwilladd:ThathadIbeenthoughtasreallyobstinateandperverseasoflateIamsaidtobe,IshouldnothavebeensodisgracefullytreatedasIhavebeen--Layyourhanduponyourheart,Brother,andsay,Bywhoseinstigations?--AndexaminewhatIhavedonetodeservetobemadethusunhappy,andtobeobligedtostylemyself

Yourinjuredsister,CL.HARLOWE.

When,mydear,youhavereadmyanswertomybrother'sletter,tellmewhatyouthinkofme?--Itshallgo!

LETTERVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYMORNING,MARCH23.

Myletterhassetthemallintumults:for,itseems,noneofthemwenthomelastnight;andtheyallweredesiredtobepresenttogivetheiradvice,ifIshouldrefusecompliancewithacommandthoughtsoreasonableasitseemsthisis.

Bettytellsme,thatatfirstmyfather,inarage,wasforcominguptomehimself,andforturningmeoutofhisdoorsdirectly.Norwasherestrained,tillitwashintedtohim,thatthatwasnodoubtmywish,andwouldanswerallmyperverseviews.Buttheresultwas,thatmy



brother(havingreally,asmymotherandauntinsisted,takenwrongmeasureswithme)shouldwriteagaininamoremoderatemanner:fornobodyelsewaspermittedorcaredtowritetosuchareadyscribbler.And,Ihavingdeclared,thatIwouldnotreceiveanymoreofhisletters,withoutcommandfromasuperiorauthority,mymotherwastogiveithers:andaccordinglyhasdonesointhefollowinglines,writtenonthesuperscriptionofhislettertome:whichletteralsofollows;togetherwithmyreply.

CLARYHARLOWE,

Receiveandreadthis,withthetemperthatbecomesyoursex,yourcharacter,youreducation,andyourduty:andreturnananswertoit,directedtoyourbrother.

CHARLOTTEHARLOWE.

TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYMORNING.

OncemoreIwrite,althoughimperiouslyprohibitedbyayoungersister.Yourmotherwillhavemedoso,thatyoumaybedestituteofalldefence,ifyoupersistinyourpervicacy.ShallIbeapedant,Miss,

forthisword?Sheiswillingtoindulgeinyoutheleastappearanceofthatdelicacyforwhichsheonce,aswellaseverybodyelse,admiredyou--beforeyouknewLovelace;Icannot,however,helpsayingthat:andshe,andyourauntHervey,willhaveit--[theywouldfainfavouryou,iftheycould]thatImayhaveprovokedfromyoutheanswertheyneverthelessowntobesoexceedinglyunbecoming.Iamnowlearning,yousee,totakeupthesofterlanguage,whereyouhavelaiditdown.Thisthenisthecase:

Theyentreat,theypray,theybeg,theysupplicate(willeitherofthesedo,MissClary?)thatyouwillmakenoscrupletogotoyouruncleAntony's:andfairlyIamtotellyou,fortheverypurposementionedinmylast--or,'tispresumable,theyneednotentreat,beg,pray,

supplicate.ThusmuchispromisedtoMr.Solmes,whoisyouradvocate,andveryuneasythatyoushouldbeunderconstraint,supposingthatyourdisliketohimarisesfromthat.And,ifhefindsthatyouarenottobemovedinhisfavour,whenyouareabsolutelyfreedfromwhatyoucallacontroul,hewillforbearthinkingofyou,whateveritcostshim.Helovesyoutoowell:andinthis,Ireallythink,hisunderstanding,whichyouhavereflectedupon,istobequestioned.

Onlyforonefornight[sic],therefore,permithisvisits.Youreducation(youtellmeofmine,youknow)oughttomakeyouincapableofrudenesstoanybody.Hewillnot,Ihope,bethefirstman,myselfexcepted,whomyouevertreatedrudely,purelybecauseheisesteemedbyusall.Iam,whatyouhaveamindtomakeme,friend,brother,

orservant--IwishIcouldbestillmorepolite,tosopolite,tosodelicate,asister.

JA.HARLOWE.

Youmuststillwritetome,ifyoucondescendtoreply.Yourmotherwillnotbepermittedtobedisturbedwithyournothing-meaningvocatives!--Vocatives,oncemore,MadamClary,repeatsthepedantyourbrother!



*****

TOJAMESHARLOWE,JUNIOR,ESQ.

Permitme,myever-dearandhonouredPapaandMamma,inthismannertosurpriseyouintoanaudience,(presumingthiswillbereadtoyou,)sinceIamdeniedthehonourofwritingtoyoudirectly.Letmebegofyoutobelieve,thatnothingbutthemostunconquerabledislikecouldmakemestandagainstyourpleasure.Whatareriches,whataresettlements,tohappiness?Letmenotthuscruellybegivenuptoamanmyverysoulisaverseto.Permitmetorepeat,thatIcannothonestlybehis.HadIaslighternotionofthematrimonialdutythanIhave,perhapsImight.ButwhenIamtobearallthemisery,andthatforlife;whenmyheartislessconcernedinthismatter,thanmysoul;mytemporary,perhaps,thanmyfuturegood;whyshouldIbedeniedthelibertyofrefusing?ThatlibertyisallIask.

ItwereeasyformetogivewaytohearMr.Solmestalkforthementionedfortnight,althoughitisimpossibleforme,saywhathewould,togetovermydisliketohim.Butthemoated-house,thechapelthere,andthelittlemercymybrotherandsister,whoaretobethere,havehithertoshewnme,arewhatIamextremelyapprehensiveof.Andwhy

doesmybrothersay,myrestraintistobetakenoff,(andthattooatMr.Solmes'sdesire,)whenIamtobeastillcloserprisonerthanbefore;thebridgethreatenedtobedrawnup;andnodearpapaandmammanearme,toappealto,inthelastresort?

Transfernot,Ibeseechyou,toabrotherandsisteryourownauthorityoveryourchild--toabrotherandsister,whotreatmewithunkindnessandreproach;and,asIhavetoomuchreasontoapprehend,misrepresentmywordsandbehaviour;or,greatlyfavouredasIusedtobe,itisimpossibleIshouldbesunksolowinyouropinions,asIunhappilyam!

Letbutthismyhard,mydisgracefulconfinementbeputanendto.Permitme,mydearMamma,topursuemyneedleworksinyourpresence,

asoneofyourmaidens;andyoushallbewitness,thatitisnoteitherwilfulnessorprepossessionthatgovernsme.Letmenot,however,beputoutofyourownhouse.LetMr.Solmescomeandgo,asmypapapleases:letmebutstayorretirewhenhecomes,asIcan;andleavetheresttoProvidence.

Forgiveme,Brother,thatthus,withanappearanceofart,Iaddressmyselftomyfatherandmother,towhomIamforbiddentoapproach,ortowrite.Harditistobereducedtosuchacontrivance!ForgivelikewisetheplaindealingIhaveusedintheabove,withthenoblenessofagentleman,andthegentlenessduefromabrothertoasister.Althoughoflateyouhavegivenmebutlittleroomtohopeeitherforyourfavourorcompassion;yet,havingnotdeservedtoforfeiteither,I

presumetoclaimboth:forIamconfidentitisatpresentmuchinyourpower,althoughbutmybrother(myhonouredparentsboth,IblessGod,inbeing),togivepeacetothegreatlydisturbedmindof

Yourunhappysister,CL.HARLOWE.

Bettytellsme,mybrotherhastakenmyletterallinpieces;andhasundertakentowritesuchananswertoit,asshallconfirmthewavering.So,itisplain,thatIshouldhavemovedsomebodybyit,butforthis



hard-heartedbrother--Godforgivehim!

LETTERVIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYNIGHT,MARCH23.

Isendyoutheboastedconfutation-letter,justnowputintomyhands.Mybrotherandsister,myuncleAntonyandMr.Solmes,are,Iunderstand,exultingoverthecopyofitbelow,asanunanswerableperformance.

TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE

Onceagain,myinflexibleSister,Iwritetoyou.Itistoletyouknow,thattheprettypieceofartyoufoundouttomakemethevehicleofyourwhiningpatheticstoyourfatherandmother,hasnothadtheexpectedeffect.

Idoassureyou,thatyourbehaviourhasnotbeenmisrepresented--nor

needit.Yourmother,whoissolicitoustotakeallopportunitiesofputtingthemostfavourableconstructionsuponallyoudo,hasbeenforced,asyouwellknow,togiveyouup,uponfulltrial.Noneedthenoftheexpedientofpursuingyourneedleworksinhersight.Shecannotbearyourwhiningpranks:anditisforhersake,thatyouarenotpermittedtocomeintoherpresence--norwillbe,butuponherownterms.

YouhadliketohavemadeasimpletonofyourauntHerveyyesterday:shecamedownfromyou,pleadinginyourfavour.Butwhenshewasasked,Whatconcessionshehadbroughtyouto?shelookedabouther,andknewnotwhattoanswer.Soyourmother,whensurprisedintothebeginningofyourcunningaddresstoherandtoyourfather,undermyname,(for

Ihadbeguntoreadit,littlesuspectingsuchaningenioussubterfuge,)andwouldthenmakemereaditthrough,wrungherhands,Oh!herdearchild,herdearchild,mustnotbesocompelled!--Butwhenshewasasked,Whethershewouldbewillingtohaveforherson-in-lawthemanwhobidsdefiancetoherwholefamily;andwhohadliketohavemurderedherson?Andwhatconcessionshehadgainedfromherdearchildtomeritthistenderness?Andthatforonewhohadapparentlydeceivedherinassuringherthatherheartwasfree?--Thencouldshelookabouther,ashersisterhaddonebefore:thenwassheagainbroughttoherself,andtoaresolutiontoassertherauthority[nottotransferit,wittypresumer!]overtherebel,whooflatehassoungratefullystruggledtothrowitoff.

Youseem,child,tohaveahighnotionofthematrimonialduty;andI'llwarrant,liketherestofyoursex,(oneortwo,whomIhavethehonourtoknow,excepted,)thatyouwillgotochurchtopromisewhatyouwillneverthinkofafterwards.But,sweetchild!asyourworthyMammaNortoncallsyou,thinkalittlelessofthematrimonial,(atleast,tillyoucomeintothatstate,)andalittlemoreofthefilialduty.

Howcanyousay,youaretobearallthemisery,whenyougivesolargeashareofittoyourparents,toyouruncles,toyouraunt,tomyself,andtoyoursister;whoall,foreighteenyearsofyourlife,lovedyou



sowell?

IfoflateIhavenotgivenyouroomtohopeformyfavourorcompassion,itisbecauseoflateyouhavenotdeservedeither.Iknowwhatyoumean,littlereflectingfool,bysaying,itismuchinmypower,althoughbutyourbrother,(averyslightdegreeofrelationshipwithyou,)togiveyouthatpeacewhichyoucangiveyourselfwheneveryouplease.

Thelibertyofrefusing,prettyMiss,isdeniedyou,becauseweareallsensible,thatthelibertyofchoosing,toeveryone'sdislike,mustfollow.Thevilewretchyouhavesetyourheartuponspeaksthisplainlytoeverybody,thoughyouwon't.Hesaysyouarehis,andshallbehis,andhewillbethedeathofanymanwhorobshimofhisPROPERTY.So,Miss,wehaveamindtotrythispointwithhim.Myfather,supposinghehastherightofafatherinhischild,isabsolutelydeterminednottobebulliedoutofthatright.Andwhatmustthatchildbe,whopreferstheraketoafather?

Thisisthelightinwhichthiswholedebateoughttobetaken.Blush,then,Delicacy,thatcannotbearthepoet'samoromnibusidem!--Blush,then,Purity!Beashamed,VirginModesty!And,ifcapableofconviction,surrenderyourwholewilltothewillofthehonouredpair,towhomyouoweyourbeing:andbegofallyourfriendstoforgiveandforgetthe

partyouhaveoflateacted.

IhavewrittenalongerletterthaneverIdesignedtowritetoyou,aftertheinsolenttreatmentandprohibitionyouhavegivenme:and,nowIamcommissionedtotellyou,thatyourfriendsareaswearyofconfiningyou,asyouareofbeingconfined.Andthereforeyoumustprepareyourselftogoinaveryfewdays,asyouhavebeentoldbefore,toyouruncleAntony's;who,notwithstandingyouapprehensions,willdrawuphisbridgewhenhepleases;willseewhatcompanyhepleasesinhisownhouse;norwillhedemolishhischapeltocureyouofyourfoolishlate-commencedantipathytoaplaceofdivineworship.--Themorefoolish,as,ifweintendedtouseforce,wecouldhavetheceremonypassinyourchamber,aswellasanywhereelse.

PrejudiceagainstMr.Solmeshasevidentlyblindedyou,andthereisacharitablenecessitytoopenyoureyes:sincenoonebutyouthinksthegentlemansocontemptibleinhisperson;nor,foraplaincountrygentleman,whohastoomuchsolidsensetoappearlikeacoxcomb,justlyblamableinhismanners.--Andastohistemper,itisnecessaryyoushouldspeakuponfullerknowledge,thanatpresentitisplainyoucanhaveofhim.

Uponthewhole,itwillnotbeamiss,thatyouprepareforyourspeedyremoval,aswellforthesakeofyourownconveniency,astoshewyourreadiness,inonepoint,atleast,toobligeyourfriends;oneofwhomyoumay,ifyoupleasetodeserveit,reckon,thoughbutabrother,

JAMESHARLOWE.

P.S.IfyouaredisposedtoseeMr.Solmes,andtomakesomeexcusestohimforpastconduct,inordertobeabletomeethimsomewhereelsewiththelessconcerntoyourselfforyourfreedomswithhim,heshallattendyouwhereyouplease.

Ifyouhaveamindtoreadthesettlements,beforetheyarereadtoyouforyoursigning,theyshallbesentyouup--Whoknows,buttheywill



helpyoutosomefreshobjections?--Yourheartisfree,youknow--Itmust--For,didyounottellyourmotheritwas?AndwillthepiousClarissafibtohermamma?

Idesirenoreply.Thecaserequiresnone.YetIwillaskyou,Haveyou,Miss,nomoreproposalstomake?

*****

IwassovexedwhenIcametotheendofthisletter,(thepostscripttowhich,perhaps,mightbewrittenaftertheothershadseentheletter,)thatItookupmypen,withanintenttowritetomyuncleHarloweaboutresumingmyownestate,inpursuanceofyouradvice.Butmyheartfailedme,whenIrecollected,thatIhadnotonefriendtostandbyorsupportmeinmyclaim;anditwouldbutthemoreincensethem,withoutansweringanygoodend.Oh!thatmycousinwerebutcome!

Isitnotasadthing,belovedasIthoughtmyselfsolatelybyeveryone,thatnowIhavenotonepersonintheworldtopleadforme,tostandbyme,orwhowouldaffordmerefuge,wereItobeunderthenecessityofaskingforit!--IwhohadthevanitytothinkIhadasmanyfriendsasIsawfaces,andflatteredmyselftoo,thatitwasnot

altogetherunmerited,becauseIsawnotmyMaker'simage,eitherinman,woman,orchild,highorlow,richorpoor,whom,comparatively,Ilovednotasmyself.--Wouldtoheaven,mydear,thatyouweremarried!Perhaps,then,youcouldhaveinducedMr.Hickmantoaffordmeprotection,tillthesestormswereover-blown.Butthenthismighthaveinvolvedhimindifficultiesanddangers;andthatIwouldnothavedonefortheworld.

Idon'tknowwhattodo,notI!--Godforgiveme,butIamveryimpatient!Iwish--ButIdon'tknowwhattowish,withoutasin!--YetIwishitwouldpleaseGodtotakemetohismercy!--Icanmeetwithnonehere--Whataworldisthis!--Whatisthereinitdesirable?Thegoodwehopefor,sostrangelymixed,thatoneknowsnotwhattowishfor!And

onehalfofmankindtormentingtheother,andbeingtormentedthemselvesintormenting!--Forhereisthismyparticularcase,myrelationscannotbehappy,thoughtheymakemeunhappy!--Exceptmybrotherandsister,indeed--andtheyseemtotakedelightinandenjoythemischieftheymake.

Butitistimetolaydownmypen,sincemyinkrunsnothingbutgall.

LETTERIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAYMORNING,SIXO'CLOCK

Mrs.Bettytellsme,thereisnownothingtalkedofbutofmygoingtomyuncleAntony's.Shehasbeenordered,shesays,togetreadytoattendmethither:and,uponmyexpressingmyaversenesstogo,hadtheconfidencetosay,Thathavingheardmeoftenpraisetheromanticnessoftheplace,shewasastonished(herhandsandeyesliftedup)thatIshouldsetmyselfagainstgoingtoahousesomuchinmytaste.

Iaskedifthiswasherowninsolence,orheryoungmistress's



observation?

Shehalf-astonishedmebyheranswer:Thatitwashardshecouldnotsayagoodthing,withoutbeingrobbedofthemeritofit.

Asthewenchlookedasifshereallythoughtshehadsaidagoodthing,withoutknowingtheboldnessofit,Iletitpass.But,tosaythetruth,thiscreaturehassurprisedmeonmanyoccasionswithhersmartness:for,sinceshehasbeenemployedinthiscontroulingoffice,Ihavediscoveredagreatdealofwitinherassurance,whichIneversuspectedbefore.Thisshews,thatinsolenceishertalent:andthatFortune,inplacingherasaservanttomysister,hadnotdonesokindlybyherasNature;forthatshewouldmakeabetterfigureashercompanion.AndindeedIcan'thelpthinkingsometimes,thatImyselfwasbetterfittedbyNaturetobetheservantofboth,thanthemistressoftheone,ortheservantoftheother.Andwithinthesefewmonthspast,Fortunehasactedbyme,asifshewereofthesamemind.

FRIDAY,TENO'CLOCK

Goingdowntomypoultry-yard,justnow,IheardmybrotherandsisterandthatSolmeslaughingandtriumphingtogether.Thehighyew-hedgebetweenus,whichdividestheyardfromthegarden,hinderedthemfrom

seeingme.

Mybrother,asIfound,hasbeenreadingpart,orthewholeperhaps,ofthecopyofhislastletter--Mightyprudent,andconsistent,you'llsay,withtheirviewstomakemethewifeofamanfromwhomtheyconcealnotwhat,wereItobesuch,itwouldbekindinthemtoendeavourtoconceal,outofregardtomyfuturepeace!--ButIhavenodoubt,thattheyhatemeheartily.

Indeed,youwasupwithherthere,brother,saidmysister.Youneednothavebidhernottowritetoyou.I'llengage,withallherwit,she'llneverpretendtoanswerit.

Why,indeed,saidmybrother,withanairofcollege-sufficiency,withwhichheabounds,(forhethinksnobodywriteslikehimself,)IbelieveIhavegivenherachoke-pear.Whatsayyou,Mr.Solmes?

Why,Sir,saidhe,Ithinkitisunanswerable.Butwillitnotexasperatehemoreagainstme?

Neverfear,Mr.Solmes,saidmybrother,butwe'llcarryourpoint,ifshedonottireyououtfirst.Wehavegonetoofarinthismethodtorecede.HercousinMordenwillsoonbehere:soallmustbeoverbeforethattime,orshe'llbemadeindependentofusall.

There,MissHowe,isthereasongivenfortheirjehu-driving.

Mr.Solmesdeclared,thathewasdeterminedtoperseverewhilemybrothergavehimanyhopes,andwhilemyfatherstoodfirm.

Mysistertoldmybrother,thathehitmecharminglyonthereasonwhyIoughttoconversewithMr.Solmes:butthatheshouldnotbesosmartuponthesex,forthefaultsofthisperversegirl.

Somelively,and,Isuppose,wittyanswer,mybrotherreturned;forheandMr.Solmeslaughedoutrageouslyuponit,andBella,laughingtoo,



calledhimanaughtyman:butIheardnomoreofwhattheysaid;theywalkedonintothegarden.

Ifyouthink,mydear,thatwhatIhaverelateddidnotagainfireme,youwillfindyourselfmistakenwhenyoureadatthisplacetheenclosedcopyofmylettertomybrother;struckoffwhiletheironwasredhot.

Nomorecallmemeekandgentle,Ibeseechyou.

TOMR.JAMESHARLOWE

FRIDAYMORNING.

SIR,

If,notwithstandingyourprohibition,Ishouldbesilent,onoccasionofyourlast,youwould,perhaps,conclude,thatIwasconsentingtogotomyuncleAntony'supontheconditionyoumention.Myfathermustdoashepleaseswithhischild.Hemayturnmeoutofhisdoors,ifhethinksfit,orgiveyouleavetodoit;but(lothasIamtosayit)Ishouldthinkitveryhardtobecarriedbyforcetoanybody'shouse,whenIhaveoneofmyowntogoto.

Farbeitfromme,notwithstandingyoursandmysister'sprovocations,tothinkofmytakingmyestateintomyownhands,withoutmyfather'sleave:Butwhy,ifImustnotstayanylongerhere,mayInotbepermittedtogothither?Iwillengagetoseenobodytheywouldnothavemesee,ifthisfavourbepermitted.FavourIcallit,andamreadytoreceiveandacknowledgeitassuch,althoughmygrandfather'swillhasmadeitamatterofright.

Youaskme,inaveryunbrotherlymanner,inthepostscripttoyourletter,ifIhavenotsomenewproposalstomake?IHAVE(sinceyouputthequestion)threeorfour;newonesall,Ithink;thoughIwillbeboldtosay,that,submittingthecasetoanyonepersonwhomyouhavenotsetagainstme,myoldonesoughtnottohavebeenrejected.Ithink

this;whythenshouldInotwriteit?--Norhaveyouanymorereasontostormatyoursisterfortellingityou,(sinceyouseeminyourlettertomakeityourboasthowyouturnedmymotherandmyauntHerveyagainstme,)thanIhavetobeangrywithmybrother,fortreatingmeasnobrotheroughttotreatasister.

These,then,aremynewproposals.

That,asabove,Imaynotbehinderedfromgoingtoreside(undersuchconditionsasshallbeprescribedtome,whichIwillmostreligiouslyobserve)atmygrandfather'slatehouse.Iwillnotagaininthisplacecallitmine.Ihavereasontothinkitagreatmisfortunethateveritwasso--indeedIhave.

Ifthisbenotpermitted,Idesireleavetogoforamonth,orforwhattimeshallbethoughtfit,toMissHowe's.Idaresaymymotherwillconsenttoit,ifIhavemyfather'spermissiontogo.

Ifthis,neither,beallowed,andIamtobeturnedoutofmyfather'shouse,IbegImaybesufferedtogotomyauntHervey's,whereIwillinviolablyobservehercommands,andthoseofmyfatherandmother.

Butifthis,neither,istobegranted,itismyhumblerequest,thatI



maybesenttomyuncleHarlowe's,insteadofmyuncleAntony's.ImeannotbythisanydisrespecttomyuncleAntony:buthismoat,withhisbridgethreatenedtobedrawnup,andperhapsthechapelthere,terrifymebeyondexpression,notwithstandingyourwittyridiculeuponmeforthatapprehension.

Ifthislikewiseberefused,andifImustbecarriedtothemoated-house,whichusedtobeadelightfulonetome,letitbepromisedme,thatIshallnotbecompelledtoreceiveMr.Solmes'svisitsthere;andthenIwillascheerfullygo,aseverIdid.

Sohere,Sir,areyournewproposals.Andifnoneofthemansweryourend,aseachofthemtendstotheexclusionofthatungenerouspersister'svisits,bepleasedtoknow,thatthereisnomisfortuneIwillnotsubmitto,ratherthanyieldtogivemyhandtothemantowhomIcanallownoshareinmyheart.

IfIwriteinastyledifferentfrommyusual,anddifferentfromwhatIwishedtohaveoccasiontowrite,animpartialperson,whoknewwhatIhaveaccidentally,withinthishourpast,heardfromyourmouth,andmysister's,andathirdperson's,(particularlythereasonyougivefordrivingonatthisviolentrate,towit,mycousinMorden'ssoon-expectedarrival,)wouldthinkIhavebuttoomuchreasonforit.Thenbepleasedtoremember,Sir,thatwhenmywhiningvocativeshave

subjectedmetosomuchscornandridicule,itistime,wereitbuttoimitateexamplessoexcellentasyouandmysistersetme,thatIshouldendeavourtoassertmycharacter,inordertobethoughtlessanalien,andnearerofkintoyouboth,thaneitherofyouhaveoflateseemedtosupposeme.

Givemeleave,inordertoemptymyfemalequiveratonce,toadd,thatIknownootherreasonwhichyoucanhaveforforbiddingmetoreplytoyou,afteryouhavewrittenwhatyoupleasedtome,thanthatyouareconsciousyoucannotanswertoreasonandtojusticethetreatmentyouhavegivenme.

Ifitbeotherwise,I,anunlearned,anunlogicalgirl,youngerbynear

athirdthanyourself,willventure(soassuredamIofthejusticeofmycause)toputmyfateuponanissuewithyou:withyou,Sir,whohavehadtheadvantageofanacademicaleducation;whosemindmusthavebeenstrengthenedbyobservation,andlearnedconversation,andwho,pardonmygoingsolow,havebeenaccustomedtogivechoke-pearstothoseyouvouchsafetowriteagainst.

Anyimpartialperson,yourlatetutor,forinstance,orthepiousandworthyDr.Lewen,maybejudgebetweenus:andifeithergiveitagainstme,Iwillpromisetoresigntomydestiny:provided,ifitbegivenagainstyou,thatmyfatherwillbepleasedonlytoallowofmynegativetothepersonsoviolentlysoughttobeimposeduponme.

Iflattermyself,Brother,thatyouwillthereadiercomeintothisproposal,asyouseemtohaveahighopinionofyourtalentsforargumentation;andnotalowoneofthecogencyoftheargumentscontainedinyourlastletter.AndifIcanpossiblyhavenoadvantageinacontentionwithyou,ifthejusticeofmycauseaffordsmenotany(asyouhavenoopinionitwill,)itbehovesyou,methinks,toshewtoanimpartialmoderatorthatIamwrong,andyounotso.

Ifthisbeaccepted,thereisanecessityforitsbeingcarriedonbythepen;thefactsbeingstated,andagreeduponbyboth;andthe



decisiontobegiven,accordingtotheforceoftheargumentseachshallproduceinsupportoftheirsideofthequestion:forgivemeleavetosay,Iknowtoowellthemanlinessofyourtemper,toofferatapersonaldebatewithyou.

Ifitbenotaccepted,Ishallconclude,thatyoucannotdefendyourconducttowardsme;andshallonlybegofyou,that,forthefuture,youwilltreatmewiththerespectduetoasisterfromabrotherwhowouldbethoughtaspoliteaslearned.

Andnow,Sir,ifIhaveseemedtoshewsomespirit,notforeigntotherelationIhavethehonourtobetoyou,andtomysister;andwhichmaybedeemednotaltogetherofapiecewiththatpartofmycharacterwhichonce,itseems,gainedmeeveryone'slove;bepleasedtoconsidertowhom,andtowhatitisowing;andthatthispartofthatcharacterwasnotdispensedwith,tillitsubjectedmetothatscorn,andtothoseinsults,whichabrother,whohasbeensotenaciousofanindependencevoluntarilygivenupbyme,andwhohasappearedsoexalteduponit,oughtnottohaveshewntoanybody,muchlesstoaweakanddefencelesssister;whois,notwithstanding,anaffectionateandrespectfulone,andwouldbegladtoshewherselftobesouponallfutureoccasions;asshehasineveryactionofherpastlife,althoughoflateshehasmetwithsuchunkindreturns.

CL.HARLOWE

*****

See,mydear,theforce,andvolubility,asImaysay,ofpassion;fortheletterIsendyouismyfirstdraught,struckoffwithoutablotorerasure.

*****

FRIDAY,THREEO'CLOCK

AssoonasIhadtranscribedit,IsentitdowntomybrotherbyMrs.Betty.

Thewenchcameupsoonafter,allaghast,withaLaud,Miss!Whathaveyoudone?--Whathaveyouwritten?Foryouhavesetthemallinajoyfuluproar!

*****

Mysisterisbutthismomentgonefromme.Shecameupallinaflame;whichobligedmeabruptlytolaydownmypen:sherantome--

OSpirit!saidshe;tappingmyneckalittletoohard.Andisitcometothisatlast--!

Doyoubeatme,Bella?

Doyoucallthisbeatingyou?onlytappingyoushoulderthus,said



she;tappingagainmoregently--Thisiswhatweexpecteditwouldcometo--Youwanttobeindependent--Myfatherhaslivedtoolongforyou--!

Iwasgoingtospeakwithvehemence;butsheputherhandkerchiefbeforemymouth,veryrudely--Youhavedoneenoughwithyourpen,meanlistener,asyouare!--Butknowthatneitheryourindependentscheme,noranyofyourvisitingones,willbegrantedyou.Takeyourcourse,perverseone!Callinyourraketohelpyoutoanindependenceuponyourparents,andadependenceuponhim!--Doso!--Preparethismoment--resolvewhatyouwilltakewithyou--to-morrowyougo--dependuponitto-morrowyougo!--Nolongershallyoustayhere,watchingandcreepingabouttohearkentowhatpeoplesay--'Tisdetermined,child!--Yougoto-morrow--mybrotherwouldhavecomeuptotellyouso;butIpersuadedhimtothecontrary--forIknownotwhathadbecomeofyou,ifhehad--Suchaletter!suchaninsolent,suchaconceitedchallenger!--Othouvaincreature!Butprepareyourself,Isay--to-morrowyougo--mybrotherwillacceptofyourboldchallenge;butitmustbepersonal;andatmyuncleAntony's--orperhapsatMr.Solmes's--

Thussheranon,almostfoamingwithpassion;till,quiteoutofpatience,Isaid,Nomoreofyourviolence,Bella--HadIknowninwhatwayyoudesignedtocomeup,youshouldnothavefoundmychamber-dooropen--talktoyourservantinthismanner.Unlikeyou,asIblessGodI

am,Iamneverthelessyoursister--andletmetellyou,thatIwon'tgoto-morrow,nornextday,nornextdaytothat--exceptIamdraggedawaybyviolence.

What!notifyourfatherormothercommandit--Girl?saidshe,intendinganotherword,byherpauseandmannerbeforeitcameout.

Letitcometothat,Bella;thenIshallknowwhattosay.Butitshallbefromtheirownmouths,ifIdo--notfromyours,noryouBetty's--Andsayanotherwordtome,inthismanner,andbetheconsequencewhatitmay,Iwillforcemyselfintotheirpresence;anddemandwhatIhavedonetobeusedthus!

Comealong,Child!Comealong,Meekness--takingmyhand,andleadingmetowardsthedoor--Demanditofthemnow--you'llfindbothyourdespisedparentstogether!--What!doesyourheartfailyou?--forIresisted,beingthusinsolentlyofferedtobeled,andpulledmyhandfromher.

Iwantnottobeled,saidI;andsinceIcanpleadyourinvitation,Iwillgo:andwaspostingtothestairsaccordinglyinmypassion--butshegotbetweenmeandthedoor,andshutit--

Letmefirst,Boldone,saidshe,apprizethemofyourvisit--foryourownsakeletme--formybrotheriswiththem.Butyetopeningitagain,seeingmeshrinkback--Go,ifyouwill!--Whydon'tyougo?--Whydon'tyougo,Miss?--followingmetomycloset,whitherIretired,withmy

heartfull,andpulledthesash-doorafterme;andcouldnolongerholdinmytears.

NorwouldIansweronewordtoherrepeatedaggravations,nortoherdemandsuponmetoopenmydoor(forthekeywasontheinside);norsomuchasturnmyheadtowardsher,asshelookedthroughtheglassatme.Andatlast,whichvexedhertotheheart,Idrewthesilkcurtain,thatsheshouldnotseeme,anddownshewentmutteringalltheway.

Isnotthisusageenoughtoprovokearashnessneverbeforethoughtof?



AsitisbuttooprobablethatImaybehurriedawaytomyuncle'swithoutbeingabletogiveyoupreviousnoticeofit;Ibegthatassoonasyoushallhearofsuchaviolence,youwouldsendtotheusualplace,totakebacksuchofyourlettersasmaynothavereachedmyhands,ortofetchanyofminethatmaybethere.

Mayyou,mydear,bealwayshappy,praysyouCLARISSAHARLOWE.

Ihavereceivedyourfourletters.Butaminsuchaferment,thatIcannotatpresentwritetothem.

LETTERX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAYNIGHT,MARCH24.

Ihaveamostprovokingletterfrommysister.Imighthavesupposedshewouldresentthecontemptshebroughtuponherselfinmychamber.Herconductsurelycanonlybeaccountedforbytherageinstigatebyasupposedrivalry.


Iamtotellyou,thatyourmotherhasbeggedyouoffforthemorrow:butthatyouhaveeffectuallydoneyourbusinesswithher,aswellaswitheverybodyelse.

Inyourproposalsandlettertoyourbrother,youhaveshewnyourselfsosilly,andsowise;soyoung,andsoold;sogentle,andsoobstinate;someek,andsoviolent;thatneverwastheresomixedacharacter.

Weallknowofwhomyouhaveborrowedthisnewspirit.Andyettheseeds

ofitmustbeinyourheart,oritcouldnotallatonceshewitselfsorampant.ItwouldbedoingMr.Solmesaspitetowishhimsuchashy,un-shygirl;anotherofyourcontradictoryqualities--IleaveyoutomakeoutwhatImeanbyit.

Here,Miss,yourmotherwillnotletyouremain:shecannothaveanypeaceofmindwhilesucharebelofachildissonearher.YourauntHerveywillnottakeachargewhichallthefamilyputtogethercannotmanage.YouruncleHarlowewillnotseeyouathishouse,tillyouaremarried.So,thankstoyourownstubbornness,youhavenobodythatwillreceiveyoubutyouruncleAntony.Thitheryoumustgoinaveryfewdays;and,whenthere,yourbrotherwillsettlewithyou,inmypresence,allthatrelatestoyourmodestchallenge;foritisaccepted,

Iassureyou.Dr.Lewenwillpossiblybethere,sinceyoumakechoiceofhim.Anothergentlemanlikewise,wereitbuttoconvinceyou,thatheisanothersortofmanthanyouhavetakenhimtobe.Yourtwouncleswillpossiblybetheretoo,toseethatthepoor,weak,anddefencelesssisterhasfairplay.So,yousee,Miss,whatcompanyyoursmartchallengewilldrawtogether.

Preparefortheday.You'llsoonbecalledupon.Adieu,MammaNorton'ssweetchild!



ARAB.HARLOWE.

*****

Itranscribedthisletter,andsentittomymother,withtheselines:

Averyfewwords,myever-honouredMamma!

Ifmysisterwrotetheenclosedbymyfather'sdirection,oryours,Imustsubmittotheusageshegavemeinit,withthisonlyobservation,ThatitisshortofthepersonaltreatmentIhavereceivedfromher.Ifitbeofherownhead--whythen,Madam--ButIknewthatwhenIwasbanishedfromyourpresence--Yet,tillIknowifshehasorhasnotauthorityforthisusage,Iwillonlywritefurther,thatIam

Yourveryunhappychild,CL.HARLOWE.

*****

ThisanswerIreceivedinanopenslipofpaper;butitwaswetinoneplace.Ikissedtheplace;forIamsureitwasblistered,asImaysay,byamother'stear!--Shemust(Ihopeshemust)havewrittenitreluctantly.

Toapplyforprotection,whereauthorityisdefied,isbold.Yoursister,whowouldnotinyourcircumstanceshavebeenguiltyofyourperverseness,mayallowablybeangryatyouforit.However,wehavetoldhertomoderateherzealforourinsultedauthority.See,ifyoucandeserveanotherbehaviour,thanthatyoucomplainof:whichcannot,howeverbesogrievoustoyou,asthecauseofitisto

YourmoreunhappyMother.

HowoftenmustIforbidyouanyaddresstome!

*****

Giveme,mydearestMissHowe,youropinion,whatIcan,whatIoughttodo.Notwhatyouwoulddo(pushedasIampushed)inresentmentorpassion--since,soinstigated,youtellme,thatyoushouldhavebeenwithsomebodybeforenow--andstepstakeninpassionhardlyeverfailofgivingcauseforrepentance:butacquaintmewithwhatyouthink

cooljudgment,andafter-reflection,whateverweretobetheevent,willjustify.

Idoubtnotyoursympathizinglove:butyetyoucannotpossiblyfeelindignityandpersecutionsoverysensiblyastheimmediatesuffererfeelsthem--arefitterthereforetoadviseme,thanIammyself.

Iwillhererestmycause.HaveI,orhaveInot,sufferedorborneenough?Andiftheywillstillpersevere;ifthatstrangepersisteragainstanantipathysostronglyavowed,willstillpersist;say,What



canIdo?--Whatcoursepursue?--ShallIflytoLondon,andendeavourtohidemyselffromLovelace,aswellasfromallmyownrelations,tillmycousinMordenarrives?OrshallIembarkforLeghorninmywaytomycousin?Yet,mysex,myyouth,considered,howfullofdangeristhislastmeasure!--AndmaynotmycousinbesetoutforEngland,whileIamgettingthither?--WhatcanIdo?--Tellme,tellme,mydearestMissHowe,[forIdarenottrustmyself,]tellme,whatIcando.

ELEVENO'CLOCKATNIGHT.

Ihavebeenforcedtotrytocomposemyangrypassionsatmyharpsichord;havingfirstshutclosemydoorsandwindows,thatImightnotbeheardbelow.AsIwasclosingtheshuttersofthewindows,thedistantwhootingofthebirdofMinerva,asfromtheoften-visitedwoodhouse,gavethesubjectinthatcharmingOdetoWisdom,whichdoeshonourtooursex,asitwaswrittenbyoneofit.Imadeanessay,aweekago,tosetthethreelaststanzasofit,asnotunsuitabletomyunhappysituation;andafterIhadre-perusedtheOde,thoseweremylesson;and,Iamsure,inthesolemnaddresstheycontaintotheAll-WiseandAll-powerfulDeity,myheartwentwithmyfingers.

IenclosetheOde,andmyeffortwithit.Thesubjectissolemn;mycircumstancesareaffecting;andIflattermyself,thatIhavenotbeenquiteunhappyintheperformance.Ifitobtainyourapprobation,Ishall

beoutofdoubt,andshouldbestillmoreassured,couldIhearittriedbyyourvoiceandfinger.

ODETOWISDOMBYALADY

I.ThesolitarybirdofnightThro'thickshadesnowwingshisflight,Andquitshistime-shooktow'r;Where,shelter'dfromtheblazeofday,

Inphilosophicgloomhelay,Beneathhisivybow'r.

II.WithjoyIhearthesolemnsound,Whichmidnightechoeswaftaround,Andsighinggalesrepeat.Fav'riteofPallas!Iattend,And,faithfultothysummons,bendAtWisdom'sawfulseat.

III.Shelovesthecool,thesilenteve,

Wherenofalseshowsoflifedeceive,Beneaththelunarray.Herefollydropseachvaindisguise;Norsporthergailycolour'ddyes,Asinthebeamofday.

IV.OPallas!queenofev'ryart,Thatgladsthesense,andmendstheheart,Blestsourceofpurerjoys!



Inev'ryformofbeautybright,ThatcaptivatesthementalsightWithpleasureandsurprise;

V.TothyunspottedshrineIbow:Attendthymodestsuppliant'svow,Thatbreathesnowilddesires;But,taughtbythyunerringrules,Toshunthefruitlesswishoffools,Tonoblerviewsaspires.

VI.NotFortune'sgem,Ambition'splume,NorCytherea'sfadingbloom,Beobjectsofmyprayer:Letav'rice,vanity,andpride,Thoseenvy'dglitt'ringtoysdivide,Thedullrewardsofcare.

VII.Tomethybettergiftsimpart,Eachmoralbeautyoftheheart,Bystudiousthoughtrefin'd;

Forwealth,thesmileofgladcontent;Forpow'r,itsamplest,bestextent,Anempireo'ermymind.

VIII.WhenFortunedropshergayparade.WhenPleasure'stransientrosesfade,Andwitherinthetomb,Unchang'disthyimmortalprize;Thyever-verdantlaurelsriseInundecayingbloom.

IX.

Bytheeprotected,IdefyThecoxcomb'ssneer,thestupidlieOfignoranceandspite:Alikecontemntheleadenfool,AndallthepointedridiculeOfundiscerningwit.

X.Fromenvy,hurry,noise,andstrife,Thedullimpertinenceoflife,InthyretreatIrest:Pursuetheetothepeacefulgroves,WherePlato'ssacredspiritroves,

Inallthybeautiesdrest.

XI.HebadIlyssus'tunefulstreamConveythyphilosophicthemeOfperfect,fair,andgood:AttentiveAthenscaughtthesound,Andallherlist'ningsonsaroundInawfulsilencestood.



XII.Reclaim'dherwildlicentiousyouth,Confess'dthepotentvoiceofTruth,Andfeltitsjustcontroul.ThePassionsceas'dtheirloudalarms,AndVirtue'ssoftpersuasivecharmsO'eralltheirsensesstole.

XIII.ThybreathinspiresthePoet'ssongThePatriot'sfree,unbiass'dtongue,TheHero'sgen'rousstrife;Thineareretirement'ssilentjoys,AndallthesweetengagingtiesOfstill,domesticlife.

XIV.Nomoretofablednamesconfin'd;ToTheesupreme,allperfectmind,Mythoughtdirecttheirflight.Wisdom'sthygift,andallherforceFromtheederiv'd,EternalsourceOfIntellectualLight!

XV.Osendhersure,hersteadyray,Toregulatemydoubtfulway,Thro'life'sperplexingroad:Themistsoferrortocontroul,Andthro'itsgloomdirectmysoulTohappinessandgood.

XVI.BeneathhercleardiscerningeyeThevisionaryshadowsflyOfFolly'spaintedshow.Sheseesthro'ev'ryfairdisguise,

ThatallbutVirtue'ssolidjoys,Isvanityandwoe.

[Facsimileofthemusicto"TheOdetoWisdom"(verse14).]

LETTERXI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAYMIDNIGHT.

Ihavenowacalmermoment.Envy,ambition,highandselfishresentment,andalltheviolentpassions,arenow,mostprobably,asleepallaroundme;andshallnowmyownangryonesgivewaytothesilenthour,andsubsidelikewise?--Theyhavegivenwaytoit;andIhavemadeuseofthegentlerspacetore-peruseyourlastletters.Iwilltouchuponsomepassagesinthem.AndthatImaythelessendangerthebut-justrecoveredcalm,IwillbeginwithwhatyouwriteaboutMr.Hickman.

Givemeleavetosay,ThatIamsorryyoucannotyetpersuadeyourselftothinkbetter,thatistosay,morejustly,ofthatgentleman,than



yourwhimsicalpictureofhimshewsyouso;or,atleast,thanthehumourousnessofyournaturalveinwouldmakeonethinkyoudo.

Idonotimagine,thatyouyourselfwillsay,hesatforthepictureyouhavedrawn.Andyet,uponthewhole,itisnotgreatlytohisdisadvantage.WereIateaseinmymind,Iwouldventuretodrawamuchmoreamiableandjustlikeness.

IfMr.Hickmanhasnotthatassurancewhichsomemenhave,hehasthathumilityandgentlenesswhichmanywant:andwhich,withtheinfinitevaluehehasforyou,willmakehimoneofthefittesthusbandsintheworldforapersonofyourvivacityandspirit.

AlthoughyousayIwouldnotlikehimmyself,Idoassureyou,ifMr.SolmesweresuchamanasMr.Hickman,inperson,mind,andbehaviour,myfriendsandIhadneverdisagreedabouthim,iftheywouldnothavepermittedmetolivesingle;Mr.Lovelace(havingsuchacharacterashehas)wouldhavestoodnochancewithme.ThisIcanthemoreboldlyaver,becauseIplainlyperceive,thatofthetwopassions,loveandfear,thismanwillbeabletoinspireonewithamuchgreaterproportionofthelatter,thanIimagineiscompatiblewiththeformer,tomakeahappymarriage.

Iamgladyouown,thatyoulikenoonebetterthanMr.Hickman.Ina

littlewhile,Imakenodoubt,youwillbeable,ifyouchallengeyourheartuponit,toacknowledge,thatyoulikenotanymansowell:especially,whenyoucometoconsider,thattheveryfaultsyoufindinMr.Hickman,admirablyfithimtomakeyouhappy:thatistosay,ifitbenecessarytoyourhappiness,thatyoushouldhaveyourownwillineverything.

Butletmeaddonething:andthatisthis:--Youhavesuchasprightlyturn,that,withyouradmirabletalents,youwouldmakeanymanintheworld,wholovedyou,looklikeafool,exceptheweresuchaoneasLovelace.

Forgiveme,mydear,formyfrankness:andforgiveme,also,forsosoon

returningtosubjectsoimmediatelyrelativetomyself,asthoseInowmusttouchupon.

Youagaininsist(strengthenedbyMr.Lovelace'sopinion)uponmyassumingmyownestate[Icannotcallitresuming,havingneverbeeninpossessionofit]:andIhavegivenyouroomtoexpect,thatIwillconsiderthissubjectmorecloselythanIhavedonebefore.Imusthoweverown,thatthereasonswhichIhadtoofferagainsttakingyouradviceweresoobvious,thatIthoughtyouwouldhaveseenthemyourself,andbeendeterminedbythem,againstyourownhastiercounsel.--Butsincethishasnotbeenso,andthatbothyouandMr.Lovelacecalluponmetoassumemyownestate,Iwillenterbrieflyintothesubject.

Inthefirstplace,letmeaskyou,mydear,supposingIwereinclinedtofollowyouradvice,WhomhaveItosupportmeinmydemand?MyuncleHarloweisoneofmytrustees--heisagainstme.MycousinMordenistheother--heisinItaly,andveryprobablymaybesetagainstmetoo.Mybrotherhasdeclared,thattheyareresolvedtocarrytheirpointsbeforehearrives:sothat,astheydriveon,allwillprobablybedecidedbeforeIcanhaveananswerfromhim,wereItowrite:and,confinedasIam,weretheanswertocomeintime,andtheydidnotlikeit,theywouldkeepitfromme.



Inthenextplace,parentshavegreatadvantagesineveryeyeoverthechild,ifshedisputetheirpleasureinthedisposingofher:andsotheyought;sinceoutoftwentyinstances,perhapstwocouldnotbeproduced,whentheywerenotintheright,thechildinthewrong.

Youwouldnot,Iamsure,havemeacceptofMr.Lovelace'sofferedassistanceinsuchaclaim.IfIwouldembraceanyotherperson's,whoelsewouldcaretoappearforachildagainstparents,ever,tilloflate,soaffectionate?==Butweresuchaprotectortobefound,whatalengthoftimewouldittakeupinacourseoflitigation!Thewillandthedeedshaveflawsinthem,theysay.MybrothersometimestalksofgoingtoresideatTheGrove:Isuppose,withadesigntomakeejectmentsnecessary,wereItoofferatassuming;or,wereItomarryMr.Lovelace,inordertogivehimalltheoppositionanddifficultythelawwouldhelphimtogive.

ThesecasesIhaveputtomyself,forargument-sake:buttheyarealloutofthequestion,althoughanybodyweretobefoundwhowouldespousemycause:forIdoassureyou,Iwouldsoonerbegmybread,thanlitigateformyrightwithmyfather:sinceIamconvinced,thatwhethertheparentdohisdutybythechildornot,thechildcannotbeexcusedfromdoingherstohim.Andtogotolawwithmyfather,whatasoundhasthat!Youwillsee,thatIhavementionedmywish(asan

alternative,andasafavour)tobepermitted,ifImustbeputoutofhishouse,togothither:butnotonestepfurthercanIgo.Andyouseehowthisisresented.

Uponthewhole,then,whathaveItohopefor,butachangeinmyfather'sresolution?--Andisthereanyprobabilityofthat;suchanascendancyasmybrotherandsisterhaveobtainedovereverybody;andsuchaninteresttopursuetheenmitytheyhavenowopenlyavowedagainstme?

AstoMr.Lovelace'sapprobationofyourassumption-scheme,Iwondernotat.HeveryprobablypenetratesthedifficultiesIshouldhavetobringittoeffect,withouthisassistance.WereItofindmyselfasfreeasI

wouldwishmyselftobe,perhapsMr.Lovelacewouldstandaworsechancewithmethanhisvanitymaypermithimtoimagine;notwithstandingthepleasureyoutakeinrallyingmeonhisaccount.Howknowyou,butallthatappearstobespeciousandreasonableinhisoffers;suchas,standinghischanceformyfavour,afterIbecameindependent,asImaycallit[bywhichImeannomore,thantohavethelibertyofrefusingformyhusbandamanwhomithurtsmebuttothinkofinthatlight];andsuchashisnotvisitingmebutbymyleave;andtillMr.Mordencome;andtillIamsatisfiedofhisreformation;--Howknowyou,Isay,thathegivesnothimselftheseairspurelytostandbetterinyourgracesaswellasmine,byofferingofhisownaccordconditionswhichhemustneedsthinkwouldbeinsistedon,werethecasetohappen?

ThenamIutterlydispleasedwithhim.Tothreatenashethreatens;yettopretend,thatitisnottointimidateme;andtobegofyounottotellme,whenhemustknowyouwould,andnodoubtintendedthatyoushould,issomeanlyartful!--Themanmustthinkhehasafrightenedfooltodealwith.--I,tojoinhandswithsuchamanofviolence!myownbrotherthemanwhomhethreatens!--AndwhathasMr.Solmesdonetohim?--Ishetobeblamed,ifhethinksapersonwouldmakeawifeworthhaving,toendeavourtoobtainher?--Ohthatmyfriendswouldbutleavemetomyownwayinthisonepoint!ForhaveIgiventhemanencouragementsufficienttogroundthesethreatsupon?WereMr.Solmesa



mantowhomIcouldbutbeindifferent,itmightbefound,thattohavespirit,wouldverylittleanswertheviewsofthatspirit.Itismyfortunetobetreatedasafoolbymybrother:butMr.Lovelaceshallfind--YetIwilllethimknowmymind;andthenitwillcomewithabettergracetoyourknowledge.

Meantime,givemeleavetotellyou,thatitgoesagainstme,inmycoolermoments,unnaturalasmybrotheristome,tohaveyou,mydear,whoaremyotherself,writesuchveryseverereflectionsuponhim,inrelationtotheadvantageLovelacehadoverhim.Heisnotindeedyourbrother:butremember,thatyouwritetohissister.--Uponmyword,mydearMissHowe,youdipyourpeningallwheneveryouareoffended:andIamalmostreadytoquestion,whetherIreadsomeofyourexpressionsagainstothersofmyrelationsaswellashim,(althoughinmyfavour,)whetheryouaresothoroughlywarrantedtocallotherpeopletoaccountfortheirwarmth.Shouldwenotbeparticularlycarefultokeepclearofthefaultswecensure?--AndyetIamsoangrybothatmybrotherandsister,thatIshouldnothavetakenthislibertywithmydearfriend,notwithstandingIknowyouneverlovedthem,hadyounotmadesolightofsoshockingatransactionwhereabrother'slifewasatstake:whenhiscreditintheeyeofthemischievoussexhasreceivedastilldeeperwoundthanhepersonallysustained;andwhenarevivalofthesamewickedresentments(whichmayendmorefatally)isthreatened.

Hiscredit,Isay,intheeyeofthemischievoussex:Whoisnotwarrantedtocallitso;whenitisre(asthetwolibertineshiscompanionsgloried)toresolvenevertogiveachallenge;andamongwhomduellingissofashionableapartofbrutalbravery,thatthemanoftemper,whois,mostly,Ibelieve,thetrulybraveman,isoftenatalosssotobehaveastoavoidincurringeitheramortalguilt,orageneralcontempt?

Toenlargealittleuponthissubject,Maywenotinfer,thatthosewhowouldbeguiltyofthrowingthesecontemptsuponamanoftemper,whowouldratherpassbyaverbalinjury,thantoimbruehishandsinblood,knownotthemeasureoftruemagnanimity?norhowmuchnobleritistoforgive,andevenhowmuchmoremanlytodespise,thantoresent,an

injury?WereIaman,methinks,Ishouldhavetoomuchscornforaperson,whocouldwilfullydomeameanwrong,toputavalueuponhislife,equaltowhatIputuponmyown.Whatanabsurdity,becauseamanhaddonemeasmallinjury,thatIshouldputitinhispower(atleast,toanequalrisque)todome,andthosewholoveme,anirreparableone!--Wereitnotawilfulinjury,noravowedtobeso,therecouldnotberoomforresentment.

HowwillinglywouldIrunawayfrommyself,andwhatmostconcernsmyself,ifIcould!Thisdigressionbringsmebackagaintotheoccasionofit--andthattotheimpatienceIwasin,whenIendedmylastletter,formysituationisnotaltered.Irenew,therefore,myformerearnestness,asthenewdayapproaches,andwillbringwithitperhaps

newtrials,thatyouwill(asundivestedlyaspossibleoffavourorresentment)tellmewhatyouwouldhavemedo:--for,ifIamobligedtogotomyuncleAntony's,all,Idoubt,willbeoverwithme.Yethowtoavoidit--that'sthedifficulty!

Ishalldepositthisthefirstthing.Whenyouhaveit,losenotime,Iprayyou,toadvise(lestitbetoolate)

YoureverobligedCL.HARLOWE.



LETTERXII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESATURDAY,MARCH25.

WhatcanIadviseyoutodo,mynoblecreature?Yourmeritisyourcrime.Youcannomorechangeyournature,thanyourpersecutorscantheirs.Yourdistressisowingtothevastdisparitybetweenyouandthem.Whatwouldyouhaveofthem?Dotheynotactincharacter?--Andtowhom?Toanalien.Youarenotoneofthem.Theyhavetwodependenciesintheirhopetomoveyoutocompliance.--Upontheirimpenetrablenessone[I'dgiveitamorepropername,ifIdared];theother,ontheregardyouhavealwayshadforyourcharacter,[Havetheynotheretoforeownedasmuch?]anduponyourapprehensionsfromthatofLovelace,whichwoulddiscredityou,shouldyoutakeanystepbyhismeanstoextricateyourself.Thentheyknow,thatresentmentandunpersuadablenessarenotnaturaltoyou;andthattheangertheyhavewroughtyouupto,willsubside,asallextraordinariessoondo;andthatoncemarried,youwillmakethebestofit.

Butsurelyyourfather'ssonandeldestdaughterhaveaview(by

communicatingtosonarrowasoulalltheyknowofyourjustaversiontohim)toentailunhappinessforlifeuponyou,wereyoutohavethemanwhoisalreadymorenearlyrelatedtothem,thaneverhecanbetoyou,althoughtheshockingcompulsionshouldtakeplace.

Astothatwretch'sperseverance,thoseonly,whoknownottheman,willwonderatit.Hehasnottheleastdelicacy.Hisprincipalviewinmarriageisnottothemind.Howshallthosebeautiesbevalued,whichcannotbecomprehended?Wereyoutobehis,andshewavisiblewantoftendernesstohim,itismyopinion,hewouldnotbemuchconcernedatit.Ihaveheardyouwellobserve,fromyourMrs.Norton,Thatapersonwhohasanyover-rulingpassion,willcompoundbygivinguptwentysecondaryorunder-satisfactions,thoughmorelaudableones,inorderto

havethatgratified.

I'llgiveyouthesubstanceofaconversation[nofearyoucanbemadetolikehimworsethanyoudoalready]thatpassedbetweenSirHarryDownetonandthisSolmes,butthreedaysago,asSirHarrytolditbutyesterdaytomymotherandme.Itwillconfirmtoyouthatwhatyoursister'sinsolentBettyreportedheshouldsay,ofgoverningbyfear,wasnotofherownhead.

SirHarrytoldher,hewonderedheshouldwishtoobtainyousomuchagainstyouinclinationaseverybodyknewitwouldbe,ifhedid.

Hematter'dnotthat,hesaid:coymaidsmadethefondestwives:[A

sorryfellow!]Itwouldnotatallgrievehimtoseeaprettywomanmakewryfaces,ifshegavehimcausetovexher.Andyourestate,bytheconvenienceofitssituation,wouldrichlypayhimforallhecouldbearwithyourshyness.

Heshouldbesure,hesaid,afterawhile,ofyourcomplaisance,ifnotofyourlove:andinthatshouldbehappierthanninepartsintenofhismarriedacquaintance.

Whatawretchisthis!



Fortherest,yourknownvirtuewouldbeasgreatasecuritytohim,ashecouldwishfor.

Shewilllookuponyou,saidSirHarry,ifshebeforcedtomarryyou,asElizabethofFrancediduponPhilipII.ofSpain,whenhereceivedheronhisfrontiersasherhusband,whowastohavebeenbutherfather-in-law:thatis,withfearandterror,ratherthanwithcomplaisanceandlove:andyouwillperhapsbeassurlytoher,asthatoldmonarchwastohisyoungbride.

Fearandterror,thewretch,thehorridwretch!said,lookedprettyinabrideaswellasinawife:and,laughing,[yes,mydear,thehideousfellowlaughedimmoderately,asSirHarrytoldus,whenhesaidit,]itshouldbehiscaretoperpetuatetheoccasionforthatfear,ifhecouldnotthinkhehadthelove.And,truly,hewasofopinion,thatifLOVEandFEARmustbeseparatedinmatrimony,themanwhomadehimselffeared,faredbest.

Ifmyeyeswouldcarrywiththemtheexecutionwhichtheeyesofthebasiliskaresaidtodo,Iwouldmakeitmyfirstbusinesstoseethiscreature.

Mymother,however,says,itwouldbeaprodigiousmeritinyou,ifyou

couldgetoveryouraversiontohim.Where,asksshe[asyouhavebeenaskedbefore],isthepraise-worthinessofobedience,ifitbeonlypaidininstancewherewegiveupnothing?

Whatafatality,thatyouhavenobetteranoption--eitheraScyllaoraCharybdis.

Wereitnotyou,Ishouldknowhow(barbarouslyasyouareused)toadviseyouinamoment.Butsuchanoblecharactertosufferfroma(supposed)rashnessandindiscretionofsuchanature,would,asIhaveheretoforeobserved,beawoundtothesex.

WhileIwasinhope,thattheassertingofyourownindependencewould

havehelpedyou,Iwaspleasedthatyouhadoneresource,asIthought.Butnow,thatyouhavesowellproved,thatsuchastepwouldnotavailyou,Iamentirelyatalosswhattosay.

Iwilllaydownmypen,andthink.

*****

Ihaveconsidered,andconsideredagain;but,Iprotest,Iknownomorewhattosaynow,thanbefore.Onlythis:ThatIamyoung,likeyourself;andhaveamuchweakerjudgment,andstrongerpassions,thanyouhave.

Ihaveheretoforesaid,thatyouhaveofferedasmuchasyouought,inofferingtolivesingle.Ifyouwerenevertomarry,theestatetheyaresolothshouldgooutoftheirname,would,intime,Isuppose,reverttoyourbrother:andheorhiswouldhaveit,perhaps,muchmorecertainlythisway,thanbytheprecariousreversionswhichSolmesmakesthemhopefor.Haveyouputthisintotheiroddheads,mydear?--ThetyrantwordAUTHORITY,astheyuseit,canbetheonlyobjectionagainstthisoffer.



Onethingyoumustconsider,that,ifyouleaveyourparents,yourdutyandlovewillnotsufferyoutojustifyyourselfbyanappealagainstthem;andsoyou'llhavetheworldagainstyou.AndshouldLovelacecontinuehiswildlife,andbehaveungratefullytoyou,willnothisbasenessseemtojustifytheircrueltreatmentofyou,aswellastheirdislikeofhim?

Mayheavendirectyouforthebest!--Icanonlysay,thatformyownpart,Iwoulddoanything,goanywhere,ratherthanbecompelledtomarrythemanIhate;and(werehesuchamanasSolmes)mustalwayshate.NorcouldIhavebornewhatyouhaveborne,iffromfatheranduncles,notfrombrotherandsister.

Mymotherwillhaveit,thataftertheyhavetriedtheirutmosteffortstobringyouintotheirmeasures,andfindthemineffectual,theywillrecede.ButIcannotsayIamofhermind.Shedoesnotown,shehasanyauthorityforthis,butherownconjecture.Ishouldotherwisehavehoped,thatyouruncleAntonyandshehadbeeninononesecret,andthatfavourabletoyou.Woebetooneofthematleast[toyouuncletobesureImean]iftheyshouldbeinanyother!

Youmust,ifpossible,avoidbeingcarriedtothatuncle's.Theman,theparson,yourbrotherandsisterpresent!--They'llcertainlytheremarryyoutothewretch.Norwillyournewly-raisedspiritsupportyouinyour

resistanceonsuchanoccasion.Yourmeeknesswillreturn;andyouwillhavenothingforitbuttears[tearsdespisedbythemall]andineffectualappealsandlamentations:andthesetearswhentheceremonyisprofaned,youmustsuddenlydryup;andendeavourtodisposeofyourselftosuchahumbleframeofmind,asmayinduceyournew-madelordtoforgiveallyourpastdeclarationsofaversion.

Inshort,mydear,youmustthenblandishhimoverwithaconfession,thatallyourpastbehaviourwasmaidenlyreserveonly:anditwillbeyourparttoconvincehimofthetruthofhisimprudentsarcasm,thatthecoyestmaidsmakethefondestwives.Thuswillyouenterthestatewithahighsenseofobligationtohisforgivinggoodness:andifyouwillnotbekepttoitbythatfear,bywhichheproposestogovern,I

ammuchmistaken.

Yet,afterall,Imustleavethepointundetermined,andonlytobedetermined,asyoufindtheyrecedefromtheiravowedpurpose,orresolvetoremoveyoutoyouruncleAntony's.ButImustrepeatmywishes,thatsomethingmayfallout,thatneitherofthesemenmaycallyouhis!--Andmayyoulivesingle,mydearestfriend,tillsomemanshalloffer,thatmaybeasworthyofyou,asmancanbe!

Butyet,methinks,Iwouldnot,thatyou,whoaresoadmirablyqualifiedtoadornthemarriedstate,shouldbealwayssingle.YouknowIamincapableofflattery;andthatIalwaysspeakandwritethesincerestdictatesofmyheart.Norcanyou,fromwhatyoumustknowofyour

ownmerit(takenonlyinacomparativelightwithothers)doubtmysincerity.Forwhyshouldapersonwhodelighttofindoutandadmireeverythingthatispraise-worthyinanother,besupposedignorantoflikeperfectionsinherself,whenshecouldnotsomuchadmiretheminanother,ifshehadthemnotherself?AndwhymaynotIgiveherthosepraises,whichshewouldgivetoanyother,whohadbuthalfofherexcellencies?--Especiallywhensheisincapableofprideandvain-glory;andneitherdespisesothersforthewantofherfinequalities,norovervaluesherselfuponthem?--Over-values,didIsay!--Howcanthatbe?



Forgiveme,mybelovedfriend.Myadmirationofyou(increased,asitis,byeveryletteryouwrite)willnotalwaysbehelddowninsilence;although,inordertoavoidoffendingyou,Igenerallyendeavourtokeepitfromflowingtomypen,whenIwritetoyou,ortomylips,wheneverIhavethehappinesstobeinyourcompany.

Iwilladdnothing(thoughIcouldaddahundredthingsonaccountofyourlatestcommunications)butthatIam

YoureveraffectionateandfaithfulANNAHOWE.

IhopeIhavepleasedyouwithmydispatch.IwishIhadbeenabletopleaseyouwithmyrequestedadvice.

YouhavegivennewbeautiestothecharmingOdewhichyouhavetransmittedtome.Whatpitythatthewretchesyouhavetodealwith,putyououtofyouradmirablecourse;inthepursuitofwhich,likethesun,youwaswonttocheerandilluminateallyoushoneupon!

LETTERXIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAYMORNING,MARCH26.

Howsoothingathingispraisefromthosewelove!--Whetherconsciousornotofdeservingit,itcannotbutgiveusgreatdelight,toseeourselvesstandhighintheopinionofthosewhosefavourweareambitioustocultivate.Aningenuousmindwillmakethisfartheruseofit,thatifhebesensiblethatitdoesnotalreadydeservethecharmingattributes,itwillhasten(beforeitsfriendfindsherselfmistaken)toobtainthegracesitiscomplimentedfor:andthisitwilldo,aswellinhonourtoitself,astopreserveitsfriend'sopinion,andjustifyherjudgment.Maythisbealwaysmyaim!--Andthenyouwillnotonlygivethepraise,butthemerit;andIshallbemoreworthyofthat

friendship,whichistheonlypleasureIhavetoboastof.

MostheartilyIthankyouforthekinddispatchofyourlastfavour.HowmuchamIindebtedtoyou!andeventoyourhonestservant!--Underwhatobligationsdoesmyunhappysituationlayme!

Butletmeanswerthekindcontentsofit,aswellasImay.

AstogettingovermydisguststoMr.Solmes,itisimpossibletobedone;whilehewantsgenerosity,franknessofheart,benevolence,mannersandeveryqualificationthatdistinguishestheworthyman.Omydear!whatadegreeofpatience,whatagreatnessofsoul,isrequiredinthewife,nottodespiseahusbandwhoismoreignorant,more

illiterate,morelow-mindedthanherself!--Thewretch,vestedwithprerogatives,whowillclaimruleinvirtueofthem(andnottopermitwhoseclaim,willbeasdisgracefultotheprescribingwifeastothegovernedhusband);Howshallsuchahusbandasthisbeborne,werehe,forreasonsofconvenienceandinterest,eventobeourCHOICE?But,tobecompelledtohavesuchaone,andthatcompulsiontoarisefrommotivesasunworthyoftheprescribersasoftheprescribed,whocanthinkofgettingoveranaversionsojustlyfounded?HowmucheasiertobearthetemporarypersecutionsIlabourunder,becausetemporary,thantoresolvetobesuchaman'sforlife?WereItocomply,mustInot



leavemyrelations,andgotohim?Amonthwilldecidetheone,perhaps:Butwhatadurationofwoewilltheotherbe!--Everyday,itislikely,risingtowitnesstosomenewbreachofanaltar-vowedduty!

Then,mydear,themanseemsalreadytobemeditatingvengeanceagainstmeforanaversionIcannothelp:foryesterdaymysaucygaoleressassuredme,thatallmyoppositionswouldnotsignifythatpinchofsnuff,holdingouthergenteelfingerandthumb:thatImusthaveMr.Solmes:thatthereforeIhadnotbestcarrymyjesttoofar;forthatMr.Solmeswasamanofspirit,andhadtoldHER,thatasIshouldsurelybehis,Iactedveryunpolitely;since,ifhehadnotmoremercy[thatwasherword,Iknownotifitwerehis]thanIhad,ImighthavecausetorepenttheusageIgavehimtothelastdayofmylife.Butenoughofthisman;who,bywhatyourepeatfromSirHarryDowneton,hasalltheinsolenceofhissex,withoutanyonequalitytomakethatinsolencetolerable.

IhavereceivetwolettersfromMr.Lovelace,sincehisvisittoyou;whichmakethreethatIhavenotanswered.Idoubtnothisbeingveryuneasy;butinhislasthecomplainsinhightermsofmysilence;notinthestillsmallvoice,orratherstyleofanhumblelover,butinastylelikethatwhichwouldprobablybeusedbyaslightedprotector.Andhisprideisagaintouched,thatlikeathief,oreves-dropper,heisforcedtododgeaboutinhopesofaletter,andreturnsfivemiles

(andthentoaninconvenientlodging)withoutany.

Hislettersandthecopyofminetohim,shallsoonattendyou.Tillwhen,IwillgiveyouthesubstanceofwhatIwrotehimyesterday.

Itakehimseverelytotaskforhisfreedominthreateningme,throughyou,withavisittoMr.Solmes,ortomybrother.Isay,'That,surely,Imustbethoughttobeacreaturefittobearanything;thatviolenceandmenacesfromsomeofmyownfamilyarenotenoughformetobear,inordertomakemeavoidhim;butthatImusthavethemfromhimtoo,ifIobligethosetowhomitisbothmyinclinationanddutytoobligeineverythingthatisreasonable,andinmypower.

'Veryextraordinary,Itellhim,thataviolentspiritshallthreatentodoarashandunjustifiablething,whichconcernsmebutalittle,andhimselfagreatdeal,ifIdonotsomethingasrash,mycharacterandsexconsidered,todiverthimfromit.

'Ievenhint,that,howeveritwouldaffectme,wereanymischieftohappenonmyownaccount,yettherearepersons,asfarasIknow,whoinmycasewouldnotthinktherewouldbereasonformuchregret,weresuchacommittedrashnessashethreatensMr.Solmeswith,toridheroftwopersonswhom,hadsheneverknown,shehadneverbeenunhappy.'

Thisisplain-dealing,mydear:andIsupposehewillputitintostillplainerEnglishforme.

Itakehispridetotask,onhisdisdainingtowatchformyletters;andforhiseves-droppinglanguage:andsay,'That,surely,hehasthelessreasontothinksohardlyofhissituation;sincehisfaultymoralsarethecauseofall;andsincefaultymoralsdeservedlylevelalldistinction,andbringdownrankandbirthtothecanaille,andtothenecessitywhichhesomuchregrets,ofappearing(ifImustdescenttohislanguage)asaneves-dropperandathief.AndthenIforbidhimevertoexpectanotherletterfrommethatistosubjecthimtosuchdisgracefulhardships.



'Astothesolemnvowsandprotestationsheissoready,uponalloccasions,tomake,theyhavethelessweightwithme,Itellhim,astheygiveakindofdemonstration,thathehimself,fromhisowncharacter,thinksthereisreasontomakethem.Deedsaretometheonlyevidenceofintentions.AndIammoreandmoreconvincedofthenecessityofbreakingoffacorrespondencewithaperson,whoseaddressesIseeitisimpossibleeithertoexpectmyfriendstoencourage,orhimtoappeartowishthattheyshouldthinkhimworthyofencouragement.

'WhatthereforeIrepeatedlydesireis,Thatsincehisbirth,alliances,andexpectations,aresuchaswillatanytime,ifhisimmoralcharacterbenotanobjection,procurehimatleastequaladvantagesinawomanwhosetasteandinclinationsmoreovermightbebetteradaptedtohisown;Iinsistuponit,aswellasadviseit,thathegiveupallthoughtsofme:andtherather,ashehasallalong(byhisthreateningandunpolitebehaviourtomyfriends,andwheneverhespeaksofthem)givenmereasontoconclude,thatthereismoremaliceinthem,thanregardtome,inhisperseverance.'

ThisisthesubstanceoftheletterIhavewrittentohim.

Theman,tobesure,musthavethepenetrationtoobserve,thatmy

correspondencewithhimhithertoisowingmoretotheseverityImeetwith,thantoaveryhighvalueforhim.AndsoIwouldhavehimthink.Whataworsethanmolochdeityisthat,whichexpectsanofferingofreason,duty,anddiscretion,tobemadetoitsshrine!

Yourmotherisofopinion,yousay,thatatlastmyfriendswillrelent.Heavengrantthattheymay!--Butmybrotherandsisterhavesuchaninfluenceovereverybody,andaresodetermined;sopiquethemselvesuponsubduingme,andcarryingtheirpoint;thatIdespairthattheywill.Andyet,iftheydonot,Ifranklyown,Iwouldnotscrupletothrowmyselfuponanynotdisreputableprotection,bywhichImightavoidmypresentpersecutions,ononehand,andnotgiveMr.Lovelaceadvantageoverme,ontheother--thatistosay,weretheremanifestly

nootherwayleftme:for,iftherewere,Ishouldthinktheleavingmyfather'shouse,withouthisconsent,oneofthemostinexcusableactionsIcouldbeguiltyof,weretheprotectiontobeeversounexceptionable;andthisnotwithstandingtheindependentfortunewilledmebymygrandfather.AndindeedIhaveoftenreflectedwithadegreeofindignationanddisdain,uponthethoughtsofwhatalow,selfishcreaturethatchildmustbe,whoistobereinedinonlybythehopesofwhataparentcanorwilldoforher.

Butnotwithstandingallthis,Ioweittothesincerityoffriendshiptoconfess,thatIknownotwhatIshouldhavedone,hadyouradvicebeenconclusiveanyway.Hadyou,mydear,beenwitnesstomydifferentemotions,asIreadyourletter,when,inoneplace,youadvisemeof

mydanger,ifIamcarriedtomyuncle's;inanother,whenyouownyoucouldnotbearwhatIbear,andwoulddoanythingratherthanmarrythemanyouhate;yet,inanother,torepresenttomemyreputationsufferingintheworld'seye;andthenecessityIshouldbeundertojustifymyconduct,attheexpenseofmyfriends,wereItotakearashstep;inanother,insinuatethedishonestfigureIshouldbeforcedtomake,insocompelledamatrimony;endeavouringtocajole,fawnupon,andplaythehypocritewithamantowhomIhaveanaversion;whowouldhavereasontobelievemeanhypocrite,aswellfrommyformeravowals,asfromthesensehemusthave(ifcommonsensehehas)ofhisown



demerits;thenecessityyouthinktherewouldbeforme,themoreaverse(wereIcapableofsomuchdissimulation)thatwouldbeimputabletodisgracefulmotives;asitwouldbetoovisible,thatlove,eitherofpersonormind,couldbeneitherofthem:thenhisundoubted,hisevenconstitutionalnarrowness:histooprobablyjealousy,andunforgiveness,bearinginmymindmydeclaredaversion,andtheunfeigneddespightsItookallopportunitiestodohim,inordertodiscouragehisaddress:apreferenceavowedagainsthimfromthesamemotive;withtheprideheprofessestotakeincurbingandsinkingthespiritsofawomanhehadacquiredarighttotyrannizeover:hadyou,Isay,beenwitnessofmydifferentemotionsasIread;nowleaningthisway,nowthat;nowperplexed;nowapprehensive;nowangryatone,thenatanother;nowresolving;nowdoubting;youwouldhaveseenthepoweryouhaveoverme;andwouldhavehadreasontobelieve,that,hadyougivenyouradviceinanydeterminedorpositivemanner,Ihadbeenreadytohavebeenconcludedbyit.So,mydear,youwillfind,fromtheseacknowledgements,thatyoumustjustifymetothoselawsoffriendship,whichrequireundisguisedfranknessofheart;althoughyoujustificationofmeinthatparticular,willperhapsbeattheexpenseofmyprudence.

But,uponthewhole,thisIdorepeat--Thatnothingbutthelastextremityshallmakemeabandonmyfather'shouse,iftheywillpermitmetostay;andifIcan,byanymeans,byanyhonestpretences,butkeepoffmyevildestinyinittillmycousinMordenarrives.Asone

ofmytrustees,hisisaprotection,intowhichImaywithoutdiscreditthrowmyself,ifmyotherfriendsshouldremaindetermined.Andthis(althoughtheyseemtoowellawareofit)isallmyhope:for,astoLovelace,wereItobesureofhistenderness,andevenofhisreformation,mustnotthethoughtofembracingtheofferedprotectionofhisfamily,bethesamething,intheworld'seye,asacceptingofhisown?--CouldIavoidreceivinghisvisitsathisownrelations'?MustInotbehis,whatever,(onseeinghiminanearerlight,)Ishouldfindhimouttobe?Foryouknow,ithasalwaysbeenmyobservation,thatveryfewpeopleincourtshipseeeachotherastheyare.Oh!mydear!howwisehaveIendeavouredtobe!Howanxioustochoose,andtoavoideverything,precautiously,asImaysay,thatmightmakemehappy,orunhappy;yetallmywisdomnow,byastrangefatality,islikelyto

becomefoolishness!

Thenyoutellme,inyourusualkindly-partialmanner,whatisexpectedofme,morethanwouldbeofsomeothers.Thisshouldbealessontome.Whatevermymotiveswere,theworldwouldnotknowthem.Tocomplainofabrother'sunkindness,that,indeed,Imightdo.Differencesbetweenbrothersandsisters,whereinterestsclash,buttoocommonlyarise:but,wheretheseverefathercannotbeseparatedfromthefaultybrother,whocouldbeartolightenherself,byloadingafather?--Then,inthisparticularcase,mustnotthehatredMr.Lovelaceexpressestoeveryoneofmyfamily(althoughinreturnfortheirhatredofhim)shockoneextremely?Mustitnotshew,thatthereissomethingimplacable,aswellashighlyunpoliteinhistemper?--Andwhatcreature

canthinkofmarryingsoastobeoutofallhopesevertobewellwithherownnearestandtenderestrelations?

Buthere,havingtiredmyself,andIdaresayyou,Iwilllaydownmypen.

*****



Mr.Solmesisalmostcontinuallyhere:soismyauntHervey:soaremytwouncles.Somethingisworkingagainstme,Idoubt.Whatanuneasystateissuspense!--Whenanakedsword,too,seemshangingoverone'shead!

IhearnothingbutwhatthisconfidentcreatureBettythrowsoutinthewantonnessofoffice.Nowitis,Why,Miss,don'tyoulookupyourthings?You'llbecalledupon,dependuponit,beforeyouareaware.Anothertimesheintimatesdarkly,andinbrokensentences,(asifonpurposetoteaseme,)whatonesays,whatanother;withtheirinquirieshowIdisposeofmytime?Andmybrother'sinsolentquestioncomesfrequentlyin,WhetherIamnotwritingahistoryofmysufferings?

ButIamnowusedtoherpertness:andasitisonlythroughthatthatIcanhearofanythingintendedagainstme,beforeitistobeputinexecution;andas,whensheismostimpertinent,shepleadsacommissionforit;Ibearwithher:yet,now-and-then,notwithoutalittleoftheheart-burn.

Iwilldepositthusfar.Adieu,mydear.CL.HARLOWE.

Writtenonthecover,aftershewentdown,withapencil:

Oncomingdown,Ifoundyoursecondletterofyesterday'sdate.*Ihavereadit;andaminhopesthattheenclosedwillinagreatmeasureansweryourmother'sexpectationsofme.

*Seethenextletter.

Mymostrespectfulacknowledgementstoherforit,andforherverykindadmonitions.

You'llreadtoherwhatyoupleaseoftheenclosed.

LETTERXIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESAT.MARCH25.

Ifollowmylastofthisdatebycommand.Imentionedinmyformermymother'sopinionofthemerityouwouldhave,ifyoucouldobligeyourfriendsagainstyourowninclination.OurconferenceuponthissubjectwasintroducedbytheconversationwehadhadwithSirHarryDowneton;andmymotherthinksitofsomuchimportance,thatsheenjoinsmeto

giveyoutheparticularsofit.Itherathercomply,asIwasunableinmylasttotellwhattoadviseyouto;andasyouwillinthisrecitalhavemymother'sopinionatleast,and,perhaps,inherswhattheworld'swouldbe,wereitonlytoknowwhatsheknows,andnotsomuchasIknow.

Mymotherarguesuponthiscaseinamostdiscouragingmannerforallsuchofoursexaslookforwardforhappinessinmarriagewiththemanoftheirchoice.



Only,thatIknow,shehasaside-viewofherdaughter;who,atthesametimethatshenowprefersnoonetoanother,valuesnotthemanhermothermostregards,ofonefarthing;orIshouldlayitmoretoheart.

Whatisthereinit,saysshe,thatallthisbustleisabout?Isitsuchamightymatterforayoungwomantogiveupherinclinationstoobligeherfriends?

Verywell,mymamma,thoughtI!Now,mayyouaskthis--atFORTY,youmay.ButwhatwouldyouhavesaidatEIGHTEEN,isthequestion?

Either,saidshe,theladymustbethoughttohaveveryviolentinclinations[Andwhatniceyoungcreaturewouldhavethatsupposed?]whichshecouldnotgiveup;oraverystubbornwill,whichshewouldnot;or,thirdly,haveparentsshewasindifferentaboutobliging.

Youknowmymothernow-and-thenarguesverynotably;alwaysverywarmlyatleast.Ihappenoftentodifferfromher;andweboththinksowellofourownarguments,thatweveryseldomaresohappyastoconvinceoneanother.Aprettycommoncase,Ibelieve,inallvehementdebatings.Shesays,Iamtoowitty;Angelice,toopert:I,Thatsheistoowise;thatistosay,beinglikewiseputintoEnglish,notsoyoungasshehasbeen:inshort,isgrownsomuchintomother,thatshehasforgottensheeverwasadaughter.So,generally,wecallanothercauseby

consent--yetfallintotheoldonehalfadozentimesover,withoutconsent--quittingandresuming,withhalf-angryfaces,forcedintoasmile,thattheremightbesomeroomtopiecetogetheragain:butgoa-bed,ifbedtime,alittlesullennevertheless:or,ifwespeak,hersilenceisbrokenwithanAh!Nancy!Youaresolively!soquick!Iwishyouwerelesslikeyourpapa,child!

Ipayitoffwiththinking,thatmymotherhasnoreasontodisclaimhershareinherNancy:andifthemattergooffwithgreaterseverityonhersidethanIwishfor,thenherfavouriteHickmanfarestheworseforitnextday.

IknowIamasaucycreature.Iknow,ifIdonotsayso,youwillthink

so.Sonomoreofthisjustnow.WhatImentionitfor,istotellyou,thatonthisseriousoccasionIwillomit,ifIcan,allthatpassedbetweenus,thathadanairofflippancyonmypart,orquicknessonmymother's,toletyouintothecoolandcogentoftheconversation.

'Lookthroughthefamilies,saidshe,whichwebothknow,wherethemanandthewomanhavebeensaidtomarryforlove;which(atthetimeitissocalled)isperhapsnomorethanapassionbeguninfollyorthoughtlessness,andcarriedonfromaspiritofperversenessandopposition[herewehadaparentheticaldebate,whichIomit];andsee,iftheyappeartobehappierthanthosewhoseprincipalinducementtomarryhasbeenconvenience,ortoobligetheirfriends;oreverwhethertheyaregenerallysohappy:forconvenienceandduty,whereobserved,

willaffordapermanentandevenanincreasingsatisfaction(aswellatthetime,asuponthereflection)whichseldomfailtorewardthemselves:whilelove,iflovebethemotive,isanidlepassion'[idleinONESENSEmymothercannotsay;forloveisasbusyasamonkey,andasmischievousasaschool-boy]--'itisafervour,that,likeallotherfervours,lastsbutalittlewhileaftermarriage;abowoverstrained,thatsoonreturnstoitsnaturalbent.

'Asitisfoundedgenerallyuponmerenotionalexcellencies,whichwereunknowntothepersonsthemselvestillattributedtoeitherbythe



other;one,two,orthreemonths,usuallysetsallrightonbothsides;andthenwithopenedeyestheythinkofeachother--justaseverybodyelsethoughtofthembefore.

'Theloversimaginaries[herownnotableword!]arebythattimegoneoff;natureandoldhabits(painfullydispensedwithorconcealed)return:disguisesthrownaside,allthemoles,freckles,anddefectsinthemindsofeachdiscoverthemselves;and'tiswellifeachdonotsinkintheopinionoftheother,asmuchbelowthecommonstandard,astheblindedimaginationofbothhadsetthemaboveit.Andnow,saidshe,thefondpair,whoknewnofelicityoutofeachother'scompany,aresofarfromfindingthenever-endingvarietyeachhadproposedinanunrestrainedconversationwiththeother(whentheyseldomweretogether;andalwayspartedwithsomethingtosay;or,onrecollection,whenparted,wishingtheyhadsaid);thattheyarecontinuallyonthewinginpursuitofamusementsoutofthemselves;andthose,concludedmysagemamma,[Didyouthinkherwisdomsoverymodern?]willperhapsbetheliveliertoeach,inwhichtheotherhasnoshare.'

Itoldmymother,thatifyouweretotakeanyrashstep,itwouldbeowingtotheindiscreetviolenceofyourfriends.Iwasafraid,Isaid,thatthesereflectionupontheconductofpeopleinthemarriedstate,whomightsetoutwithbetterhopes,werebuttoowellgrounded:butthatthismustbeallowedme,thatifchildrenweighednotthesematters

sothoroughlyastheyought,neitherdidparentsmakethoseallowancesforyouth,inclination,andinexperience,whichhadbeenfoundnecessarytobemadeforthemselvesattheirchildren'stimeoflife.

Irememberedaletter,Itoldher,hereupon,whichyouwroteafewmonthsago,personatingananonymouselderlylady(inMr.Wyerley'sdayofplaguingyou)toMissDrayton'smother,who,byherseverityandrestraints,hadliketohavedriventheyoungladyintotheveryfaultagainstwhichhermotherwasmostsolicitoustoguardher.AndIdaredtosay,shewouldbepleasedwithit.

Ifetchedthefirstdraughtofit,whichatmyrequestyouobligedmeatthetime;andreadthewholelettertomymother.Butthefollowing

passageshemademereadtwice.Ithinkyouoncetoldmeyouhadnotacopyofthisletter.

'Permitme,Madam,[saysthepersonatedgravewriter,]toobserve,Thatifpersonsofyourexperiencewouldhaveyoungpeoplelookforward,inordertobewiserandbetterbytheiradvice,itwouldbekindinthemtolookbackward,andallowfortheirchildren'syouth,andnaturalvivacity;inotherwords,fortheirlivelyhopes,unabatedbytime,unaccompaniedbyreflection,anduncheckedbydisappointment.Thingsappeartousallinaverydifferentlightatourentranceuponafavouriteparty,ortour;when,withgoldenprospects,andhighexpectations,werisevigorousandfreshlikethesunbeginningitsmorningcourse;fromwhattheydo,whenwesitdownattheendofour

views,tired,andpreparingforourjourneyhomeward:forthenwetakeintoourreflection,whatwehadleftoutinprospect,thefatigues,thechecks,thehazards,wehadmetwith;andmakeatrueestimateofpleasures,whichfromourraisedexpectationsmustnecessarilyhavefallenmiserablyshortofwhatwehadpromisedourselvesatsettingout.Nothingbutexperiencecangiveusastrongandefficaciousconvictionofthisdifference:andwhenwewouldinculcatethefruitsofthatuponthemindsofthosewelove,whohavenotlivedlongenoughtofindthosefruits;andwouldhope,thatouradviceshouldhaveasmuchforceuponthem,asexperiencehasuponus;andwhich,perhaps,ourparents'advice



hadnotuponourselves,atourdaughter'timeoflife;shouldwenotproceedbypatientreasoningandgentleness,thatwemaynotharden,wherewewouldconvince?For,Madam,thetenderestandmostgenerousminds,whenharshlytreated,becomegenerallythemostinflexible.Iftheyoungladyknowsherhearttoberight,howeverdefectiveherheadmaybeforwantofageandexperience,shewillbeapttobeverytenacious.Andifshebelievesherfriendstobewrong,althoughperhapstheymaybeonlysointheirmethodsoftreatingher,howmuchwilleveryunkindcircumstanceontheparent'spart,orheedlessoneonthechild's,thougheversoslightinitself,widenthedifference!Theparent'sprejudiceindisfavour,willconfirmthedaughter'sinfavour,ofthesameperson;andthebestreasoningsintheworldoneitherside,willbeattributedtothatprejudice.Inshort,neitherofthemwillbeconvinced:aperpetualoppositionensues:theparentgrowsimpatient;thechilddesperate:and,asatoonaturalconsequence,thatfallsoutwhichthemotherwasmostafraidof,andwhichpossiblyhadnothappened,ifthechild'spassionshadbeenonlyled,notdriven.'

Mymotherwaspleasedwiththewholeletter;andsaid,Itdeservedtohavethesuccessitmetwith.Butaskedmewhatexcusecouldbeofferedforayoungladycapableofmakingsuchreflections(andwhoathertimeoflifecouldsowellassumethecharacterofoneofriperyears)ifsheshouldrushintoanyfatalmistakeherself?

ShethentoucheduponthemoralcharacterofMr.Lovelace;andhowreasonabletheaversionofyourreflectionsistoamanwhogiveshimselfthelibertiesheissaidtotake;andwhoindeedhimselfdeniesnottheaccusation;havingbeenheardtodeclare,thathewilldoallthemischiefhecantothesex,inrevengefortheillusageandbrokenvowsofhisfirstlove,atatimewhenhewastooyoung[hisownexpressionitseems]tobeinsincere.

Ireplied,thatIhadheardeveryonesay,thattheladymeantreallyusedhimill;thatitaffectedhimsomuchatthetime,thathewasforcedtotraveluponit;andtodriveheroutofhisheart,ranintocourseswhichhehadingenuousnessenoughhimselftocondemn:that,however,hehaddeniedthathehadthrownoutsuchmenacesagainstthe

sexwhenchargedwiththembymeinyourpresence;anddeclaredhimselfincapableofsounjustandungenerousaresentmentagainstall,fortheperfidyofone.

Yourememberthis,mydear,asIdoyourinnocentobservationuponit,thatyoucouldbelievehissolemnasseverationanddenial:'Forsurely,saidyou,themanwhowouldresent,asthehighestindignitythatcouldbeofferedtoagentleman,theimputationofawilfulfalsehood,wouldnotbeguiltyofone.'

Iinsistedupontheextraordinarycircumstancesinyourcase;particularizingthem.Itooknotice,thatMr.Lovelace'smoralswereatonetimenoobjectionwithyourrelationsforArabella:thatthenmuch

wasbuiltuponhisfamily,andmoreuponhispartandlearning,whichmadeitoutofdoubt,thathemightbereclaimedbyawomanofvirtueandprudence:and[prayforgivemeformentioningit]Iventuredtoadd,thatalthoughyourfamilymightbegoodsortoffolks,astheworldwent,yetnobodybutyouimputedtoanyofthemaverypunctiliousconcernforreligionorpiety--thereforeweretheythelessentitledtoobjecttodefectofthatkindinothers.Then,whatanodiousman,saidI,havetheypickedout,tosupplantinalady'saffectionsoneofthefinestfiguresofaman,andonenotedforhisbrilliantparts,andotheraccomplishments,whateverhismoralsmaybe!



Stillmymotherinsisted,thattherewasthegreatermeritinyourobedienceonthataccount;andurged,thattherehardlyeverwasaveryhandsomeandaverysprightlymanwhomadeatenderandaffectionatehusband:forthattheyweregenerallysuchNarcissus's,astoimagineeverywomanoughttothinkashighlyofthem,astheydidofthemselves.

Therewasnodangerfromthatconsiderationhere,Isaid,becausetheladystillhadgreateradvantagesofpersonandmind,thantheman;gracefulandelegant,ashemustbeallowedtobe,beyondmostofhissex.

ShecannotenduretohearmepraiseanymanbutherfavouriteHickman;uponwhom,nevertheless,shegenerallybringsadegreeofcontemptwhichhewouldescape,didshenotlessenthelittlemerithehas,bygivinghim,onalloccasions,morethanIthinkhecandeserve,andenteringhimintocomparisonsinwhichitisimpossiblebuthemustbeasufferer.Andnow[preposterouspartiality!]shethoughtforherpart,thatMr.Hickman,batingthathisfaceindeedwasnotsosmooth,norhiscomplexionquitesogood,andsavingthathewasnotsopresumingandsobold(whichoughttobenofaultwithamodestwoman)equaledMr.Lovelaceatanyhouroftheday.

Toavoidenteringfurtherintosuchanincomparablecomparison,Isaid,

Ididnotbelieve,hadtheyleftyoutoyourownway,andtreatedyougenerously,thatyouwouldhavehadthethoughtofencouraginganymanwhomtheydisliked--

Then,Nancy,catchingmeup,theexcuseisless--forifso,musttherenotbemoreofcontradiction,thanlove,inthecase?

Notso,neither,Madam:forIknowMissClarissaHarlowewouldpreferMr.Lovelacetoallmen,ifmorals--

IF,Nancy!--Thatifiseverything.--DoyoureallythinkshelovesMr.Lovelace?

Whatwouldyouhavehadmesay,mydear?--Iwon'ttellyouwhatIdidsay:ButhadInotsaidwhatIdid,whowouldhavebelievedme?

Besides,Iknowyoulovehim!--Excuseme,mydear:Yet,ifyoudenyit,whatdoyoubutreflectuponyourself,asifyouthoughtyououghtnottoallowyourselfinwhatyoucannothelpdoing?

Indeed,Madam,saidI,themanisworthyofanywoman'slove[if,again,Icouldsay]--Butherparents--

Herparents,Nancy--[Youknow,mydear,howmymother,whoaccusesherdaughterofquickness,isevermoreinterruptingone!]

Maytakewrongmeasures,saidI--

Cannotdowrong--theyhavereason,I'llwarrant,saidshe--

Bywhichtheymayprovokeayoungwoman,saidI,todorashthings,whichotherwiseshewouldnotdo.

But,ifitbearashthing,[returnedshe,]shouldshedoit?Aprudentdaughterwillnotwilfullyerr,becauseherparentserr,iftheyweretoerr:ifshedo,theworldwhichblamestheparents,willnotacquitthe



child.Allthatcanbesaid,inextenuationofadaughter'serrorinthiscase,arisesfromakindconsideration,whichMissClary'slettertoLadyDraytonpleadsfor,tobepaidtoherdaughter'syouthandinexperience.AndwillsuchanadmirableyoungpersonasMissClarissaHarlowe,whoseprudence,aswesee,qualifieshertobeanadvisorofpersonsmucholderthanherself,takeshelterundersopooracovert?

Letherknow,Nancy,outofhand,whatIsay;andIchargeyoutorepresentfarthertoher,Thatlethedislikeonemanandapproveofanothereversomuch,itwillbeexpectedofayoungladyofherunboundedgenerosityandgreatnessofmind,thatsheshoulddenyherselfwhenshecanobligeallherfamilybysodoing--nolessthantenoradozenperhapsthenearestanddearesttoherofallthepersonsintheworld,anindulgentfatherandmotherattheheadofthem.Itmaybefancyonlyonherside;butparentslookdeeper:AndwillnotMissClarissaHarlowegiveupherfancytoherparents'judgment?

Isaidagreatdealuponthisjudgmentsubject:allthatyoucouldwishIshouldsay;andallthatyourextraordinarycaseallowedmetosay.Andmymotherwassosensibleoftheforceofit,thatshechargedmenottowritetoyouanypartofmyanswertowhatshesaid;butonlywhatsheherselfhadadvanced;lest,insocriticalacase,itshouldinduceyoutotakemeasureswhichmightgiveusbothreason(meforgivingit,youforfollowingit)torepentitaslongaswelived.

Andthus,mydear,haveIsetmymother'sargumentsbeforeyou.Andtherather,asIcannotmyselftellwhattoadviseyoutodo--youknowbestyourownheart;andwhatthatwillletyoudo.

Robinundertakestodepositthisveryearly,thatyoumayhaveanopportunitytoreceiveitbyyourfirstmorningairing.

Heavenguideanddirectyouforthebest,istheincessantprayerof

YoureveraffectionateANNAHOWE.

LETTERXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAYAFTERNOON

Iamingreatapprehension.Yetcannothelprepeatingmyhumblethankstoyourmotherandyouforyourlastfavour.Ihopeherkindendisansweredbythecontentsofmylast.YetImustnotthinkitenoughtoacknowledgehergoodnesstome,withapencilonly,onthecoverofalettersealedup.AfewlinesgivemeleavetowritewithregardtomyanonymouslettertoLadyDrayton.IfIdidnotatthattimetellyou,as

IbelieveIdid,thatmyexcellentMrs.Nortongavemeherassistanceinthatletter,Inowacknowledgethatshedid.

Prayletyourmotherknowthis,fortworeasons:one,thatImaynotbethoughttoarrogatetomyselfadiscretionwhichdoesnotbelongtome;theother,thatImaynotsufferbythesevere,butjustinferenceshewaspleasedtodraw;doublingmyfaultsuponme,ifImyselfshouldactunworthyoftheadviceIwassupposedtogive.

BeforeIcometowhatmostnearlyaffectsusall,Imustchideyouonce



more,forthesevere,theveryseverethingsyoumentionofourfamily,tothedisparagementoftheirMORALS.Indeed,mydear,Iwonderatyou!--Aslighteroccasionmighthavepassedme,afterIhadwrittentoyousooftentosolittlepurpose,onthistopic.But,affectingasmyowncircumstancesare,Icannotpassby,withoutanimadversion,thereflectionIneednotrepeatinwords.

ThereisnotaworthierwomaninEnglandthanmymother.Norismyfatherthatmanyousometimesmakehim.Exceptinginonepoint,Iknownotanyfamilywhichlivesmoreuptotheirduty,thantheprincipalsofours.Alittletoouncommunicativefortheirgreatcircumstances--thatisall.--Why,then,havetheynotreasontoinsistuponunexceptionablemoralsinamanwhosesought-forrelationshiptothem,byamarriageintheirfamily,theyhavecertainlyarighteithertoallowof,ortodisallow.

Anotherlineortwo,beforeIamengrossedbymyownconcerns--uponyourtreatmentofMr.Hickman.Isit,doyouthink,generoustorevengeuponaninnocentperson,thedispleasureyoureceivefromanotherquarter,where,Idoubt,youareatrespassertoo?--ButonethingIcouldtellhim;andyouhavebestnotprovokemetoit:Itisthis,Thatnowomanusesillthemanshedoesnotabsolutelyreject,butshehasitinherhearttomakehimamends,whenhertyrannyhashaditsrun,andhehascompletedthemeasureofhisservicesandpatience.Mymindisnot

enoughateasetopushthismatterfurther.

Iwillnowgiveyoutheoccasionofmypresentapprehensions.

Ihadreasontofear,asImentionedinmineofthismorning,thatastormwasbrewing.Mr.Solmescamehomefromchurchthisafternoonwithmybrother.Soonafter,Bettybroughtmeupaletter,withoutsayingfromwhom.Itwasinacover,anddirectedbyahandIneversawbefore;asifitweresupposedthatIwouldnotreceiveandopenit,hadIknownfromwhomitcame.

Thesearethecontents:

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TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESUNDAY,MARCH26.

DEARESTMADAM,

Ithinkmyselfamostunhappyman,inthatIhaveneveryetbeenabletopaymyrespectstoyouwithyoureconsent,foronehalfe-hour.Ihavesomethingtocommunicattoyouthatconcernesyoumuch,ifyoubepleasedtoadmitmetoyourespeech.Yourehonourisconcernedinit,andthehonourofallyourefamilly.Itrelatestothedesignesofone

whomyouaresedtovalewmorethanhedesarves;andtosomeofhisreprobatactions;whichIamreddietogiveyouconvincingproofesofthetruthof.Imayappeartobeinterestedinit:but,neverthelesse,Iamreddietomakeoathe,thateverytittleistrue:andyouwillseewhatamanyouaresedtofavour.ButIhopenotso,foryourownehonour.

Pray,Madam,vouchsafemeahearing,asyouvalewyourhonourandfamilly:whichwilloblidge,dearestMiss,



Yourmosthumbleandmostfaithfulservant,ROGERSOLMES.

Iwaitbelowforthehopeofadmittance.

*****

Ihavenomannerofdoubt,thatthisisapoordevicetogetthismanintomycompany.Iwouldhavesentdownaverbalanswer;butBettyrefusedtocarryanymessage,whichshouldprohibithisvisitingme.SoIwasobligedeithertoseehim,ortowritetohim.Iwrotethereforeananswer,ofwhichIshallsendyoutheroughdraught.Andnowmyheartachesforwhatmayfollowfromit;forIhearagreathurrybelow.

*****

TOROGERSOLMES,ESQ.

SIR,

Whateveryouhavetocommunicatetome,whichconcernsmyhonour,mayas

wellbedonebywritingasbywordofmouth.IfMr.Lovelaceisanyofmyconcern,Iknownotthatthereforeheoughttobeyours:fortheusageIreceiveonyouraccount[Imustthinkitso!]issoharsh,thatweretherenotsuchamanintheworldasMr.Lovelace,IwouldnotwishtoseeMr.Solmes,no,notforonehalf-hour,inthewayheispleasedtobedesiroustoseeme.InevercanbeinanydangerfromMr.Lovelace,(and,ofconsequence,cannotbeaffectedbyanyofyourdiscoveries,)iftheproposalImadebeaccepted.Youhavebeenacquaintedwithitnodoubt.Ifnot,bepleasedtoletmyfriendsknow,thatiftheywillridmeofmyapprehensionsofonegentleman,Iwillridthemoftheirofanother:Andthen,ofwhatconsequencetothem,ortome,willitbe,whetherMr.Lovelacebeagoodman,orabad?Andifnottothem,nortome,Iseenothowitcanbeofanytoyou.Butif

youdo,Ihavenothingtosaytothat;anditwillbeachristianpartifyouwillexpostulatewithhimupontheerrorsyouhavediscovered,andendeavourtomakehimasgoodaman,as,nodoubt,youareyourself,oryouwouldnotbesoreadytodetectandexposehim.

Excuseme,Sir:but,aftermyformerlettertoyou,andyourungenerousperseverance;andafterthisattempttoavailyourselfattheexpenseofanotherman'scharacter,ratherthanbyyourownpropermerit;Iseenotthatyoucanblameanyasperityinher,whomyouhavesolargelycontributedtomakeunhappy.

CL.HARLOWE.

*****

SUNDAYNIGHT.

Myfatherwasforcominguptome,ingreatwrath,itseems;butwaspersuadedtothecontrary.MyauntHerveywaspermittedtosendmethisthatfollow.--Quickwork,mydear!




NIECE,

Everybodyisnowconvinced,thatnothingistobedonewithyoubywayofgentlenessorpersuasion.Yourmotherwillnotpermityoutostayinthehouse;foryourfatherissoincensedbyyourstrangelettertohisfriend,thatsheknowsnotwhatwillbetheconsequenceifyoudo.So,youarecommandedtogetreadytogotoyouruncleAntony'soutofhand.

Yourunclethinkshehasnotdeservedofyousuchanunwillingnessasyoushewtogotohishouse.

Youdon'tknowthewickednessofthemanforwhosesakeyouthinkitworthwhiletoquarrelwithallyourfriends.

Youmustnotanswerme.Therewillbenoendofthat.

Youknownottheafflictionyougivetoeverybody;buttononemorethanto

Youraffectionateaunt,DOROTHYHERVEY.

*****

Forbidtowritetomyaunt,Itookabolderliberty.Iwroteafewlinestomymother;beseechinghertoprocuremeleavetothrowmyselfatmyfather'sfeet,andhers,ifImustgo,(nobodyelsepresent,)tobegpardonforthetroubleIhadgiventhemboth,andtheirblessings;andtoreceivetheircommandsastomyremoval,andthetimeforit,fromtheirownlips.

'Whatnewboldnessthis!--Takeitback;andbidherlearntoobey,'wasmymother'sangryanswer,withmyletterreturned,unopened.

ButthatImightomitnothing,thathadanappearanceofduty,Iwroteafewlinestomyfatherhimself,tothesamepurpose;begging,thathewouldnotturnmeoutofhishouse,withouthisblessing.Butthis,tornintwopieces,andunopened,wasbroughtmeupagainbyBetty,withanair,onehandheldup,theotherextended,thetornletterinheropenpalm;andaSeehere!--Whatasadthingisthis!--Nothingwilldobutduty,Miss!--Yourpapasaid,Lethertellmeofdeeds!--I'llreceivenowordsfromher.Andsohetoretheletter,andflungthepiecesatmyhead.

Sodesperatewasmycase,Iwasresolvednottostopevenatthisrepulse.Itookmypen,andaddressedmyselftomyuncleHarlowe,

enclosingthatwhichmymotherhadreturnedunopened,andthetornunopenedonesenttomyfather;havingfirsthurriedoffatranscriptforyou.

Myunclewasgoinghome,anditwasdeliveredtohimjustashesteppedintohischariot.WhatmaybethefateofitthereforeIcannotknowtillto-morrow.

Thefollowingisacopyofit:



TOJOHNHARLOWE,ESQ.

MYDEARANDEVER-HONOUREDUNCLE,

Ihavenobodynowbutyou,towhomIcanapply,withhope,somuchastohavemyhumbleaddressesopenedandread.MyauntHerveyhasgivenmecommandswhichIwanttohaveexplained;butshehasforbidmewritingtoher.HereuponItookthelibertytowritetomyfatherandmother.Youwillsee,Sir,bythetornone,andbytheother,(bothunopened,)whathasbeentheresult.This,Sir,perhapsyoualreadyknow:but,asyouknownotthecontentsofthedisgracedletters,Ibeseechyoutoreadthemboth,thatyoumaybeawitnessforme,thattheyarenotfilledwitheithercomplaintsorexpostulations,norcontainanythingundutiful.Givemeleavetosay,Sir,thatifdeaf-earedangerwillneithergrantmeahearing,nor,whatIwriteaperusal,sometimehencethehard-heartednessmayberegretted.Ibeseechyou,dear,goodSir,toletmeknowwhatismeantbysendingmetomyuncleAntony'shouse,ratherthantoyours,ortomyauntHervey's,orelse-where?IfitbeforwhatIapprehendittobe,lifewillnotbesupportableupontheterms.Ibegalsotoknow,WHENIamtobeturnedoutofdoors!--Myheartstronglygivesme,thatifonceIamcompelledtoleavethishouse,Inevershallseeitmore.

Itbecomesme,however,todeclare,thatIwritenotthisthroughperverseness,orinresentment.Godknowsmyheart,Idonot!ButthetreatmentIapprehendIshallmeetwith,ifcarriedtomyotheruncle's,will,inallprobability,givethefinishingstroketothedistresses,theundeserveddistressesIwillbeboldtocallthem,of

Youroncehighly-favoured,butnowunhappy,CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXVI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEMONDAYMORNING,MARCH27.

ThismorningearlymyuncleHarlowecamehither.Hesentuptheenclosedverytenderletter.IthasmademewishIcouldobligehim.YouwillseehowMr.Solmes'sillqualitiesareglossedoverinit.Whatblemishesdiesaffectionhide!--Butperhapstheymaysaytome,Whatfaultsdoesantipathybringtolight!

Bepleasedtosendmebackthisletterofmyunclebythefirstreturn.

SUNDAYNIGHT,ORRATHERMINDAYMORNING.

Imustansweryou,thoughagainstmyownresolution.Everybodylovesyou;andyouknowtheydo.Theverygroundyouwalkuponisdeartomostofus.Buthowcanweresolvetoseeyou?Thereisnostandingagainstyourlooksandlanguage.Itisourlovesmakesusdeclinetoseeyou.Howcanwe,whenyouareresolvednottodowhatweareresolvedyoushalldo?Inever,formypart,lovedanycreature,asIlovedyoufromyourinfancytillnow.Andindeed,asIhaveoftensaid,neverwasthereayoungcreaturesodeservingofourlove.Butwhatiscometoyounow!Alas!alas!mydearkinswoman,howyoufailinthetrial!



Ihavereadthelettersyouenclosed.Atapropertime,Imayshewthemtomybrotherandsister:buttheywillreceivenothingfromyouatpresent.

Formypart,Icouldnotreadyourlettertome,withoutbeingunmanned.Howcanyoubesounmovedyourself,yetsoabletomoveeverybodyelse?HowcouldyousendsuchalettertoMr.Solmes?Fieuponyou!Howstrangelyareyoualtered!

Thentotreatyourbrotherandsisterasyoudid,thattheydon'tcaretowritetoyou,ortoseeyou!Don'tyouknowwhereitiswritten,Thatsoftanswersturnawaywrath?Butifyouwilltrusttoyousharp-pointedwit,youmaywound.Yetaclubwillbeatdownasword:Andhowcanyouexpectthattheywhoarehurtbyyouwillnothurtyouagain?Wasthisthewayyouusedtotaketomakeusalladoreyouaswedid?--No,itwasyourgentlenessofheartandmanners,thatmadeeverybody,evenstrangers,atfirstsight,treatyouasalady,andcallyoualady,thoughnotbornone,whileyoureldersisterhadnosuchdistinctionspaidher.Ifyouwereenvied,whyshouldyousharpenenvy,andfileupitsteethtoanedge?--YouseeIwritelikeanimpartialman,andasonethatlovesyoustill.

Butsinceyouhavedisplayedyourtalents,andsparednobody,andmoved

everybody,withoutbeingmoved,youhavebutmadeusstandthecloserandfirmertogether.ThisiswhatIlikenedtoanembattledphalanx,oncebefore.YourauntHerveyforbidsyourwritingforthesamereasonthatImustnotcountenanceit.Weareallafraidtoseeyou,becauseweknowweshallbemadeassomanyfools.Nay,yourmotherissoafraidofyou,thatonceortwice,whenshethoughtyouwerecomingtoforceyourselfintoherpresence,sheshutthedoor,andlockedherselfin,becausesheknewshemustnotseeyouuponyourterms,andyouareresolvedyouwillnotseeheruponhers.

Resolvesbuttoobligeusall,mydearestMissClary,andyoushallseehowwewillclaspyoueveryonebyturnstoourrejoicinghearts.Iftheonemanhasnotthewit,andtheparts,andtheperson,oftheother,no

onebreathinghasaworseheartthanthatother:andisnottheloveofallyourfriends,andasoberman(ifhebenotsopolished)tobepreferredtoadebauchee,thougheversofineamantolookat?Youhavesuchtalentsthatyouwillbeadoredbytheone:buttheotherhasasmuchadvantageinthoserespects,asyouhaveyourself,andwillnotsetbythemonestraw:forhusbandsaresometimesjealousoftheirauthoritywithwittywives.Youwillhaveinone,amanofvirtue.Hadyounotbeensorudelyaffrontingtohim,hewouldhavemadeyourearstinglewithwhathecouldhavetoldyouoftheother.

Come,mydearniece,letmehavethehonourofdoingwithyouwhatnobodyelseyethasbeenabletodo.Yourfather,mother,andI,willdividethepleasure,andthehonour,Iwillagaincallit,betweenus;

andallpastoffencesshallbeforgiven;andMr.Solmes,wewillengage,shalltakenothingamisshereafter,ofwhathaspassed.

Heknows,hesays,whatajewelthatmanwillhave,whocanobtainyourfavour;andhewillthinklightofallhehassuffered,orshallsuffer,inobtainingyou.

Dear,sweetcreature,obligeus:andobligeuswithagrace.Itmustbedone,whetherwithagraceornot.Idoassureyouitmust.Youmustnotconquerfather,mother,uncles,everybody:dependuponthat.



Ihavesetuphalfthenighttowritethis.YoudonotknowhowIamtouchedatreadingyours,andwritingthis.YetwillIbeatHarlowe-placeearlyinthemorning.So,uponreadingthis,ifyouwillobligeusall,sendmewordtocomeuptoyourapartment:andIwillleadyoudown,andpresentyoutotheembracesofeveryone:andyouwillthensee,youhavemoreofabrotherandsisterinthemboth,thanoflateyourprejudiceswillletyouthinkyouhave.Thisfromonewhousedtolovetostylehimself,

Yourpaternaluncle,JOHNHARLOWE.

*****

Inaboutanhourafterthiskindletterwasgivenme,myunclesentuptoknow,ifheshouldbeawelcomevisiter,uponthetermsmentionedinhisletter?HebidBettybringhimdownaverbalanswer:awrittenone,hesaid,wouldbeabadsign:andhebidherthereforenottobringaletter.ButIhadjustfinishedtheenclosedtranscriptionofoneIhadbeenwriting.Shemadeadifficultytocarryit;butwasprevailedupontoobligemebyatokenwhichtheseMrs.Betty'scannotwithstand.

DEARANDHONOUREDSIR,

Howyourejoicemebyyourcondescendinggoodness!--Sokind,sopaternalaletter!--sosoothingtoawoundedheart;andoflatewhatIhavebeensolittleusedto!--HowamIaffectedwithit!Tellmenot,dearSir,ofmywayofwriting:yourletterhasmoremovedme,thanIhavebeenabletomoveanybody!--Ithasmademewish,withallmyheart,thatIcouldentitlemyselftobevisiteduponyourownterms;andtobeleddowntomyfatherandmotherbysogoodandsokindanuncle.

Iwilltellyou,dearestUncle,whatIwilldotomakemypeace.IhavenodoubtthatMr.Solmes,uponconsideration,wouldgreatlyprefermy

sistertosuchastrangeaversecreatureasme.Hischief,oroneofhischiefmotivesinhisaddresstome,is,asIhavereasontobelieve,thecontiguityofmygrandfather'sestatetohisown.Iwillresignit;foreverIwillresignit:andtheresignationmustbegood,becauseIwillnevermarryatall.Iwillmakeitovertomysister,andherheirsforever.Ishallhavenoheirs,butmybrotherandher;andIwillreceive,asofmyfather'sbounty,suchanannuity(notinlieuoftheestate,butasofhisbounty)asheshallbepleasedtograntme,ifitbeeversosmall:andwheneverIdisobligehim,hetowithdrawit,athispleasure.

Willthisnotbeaccepted?--Surelyitmust--surelyitwill!--Ibegofyou,dearestSir,toproposeit;andseconditwithyourinterest.This

willanswereveryend.MysisterhasahighopinionofMr.Solmes.Inevercanhaveanyinthelightheisproposedtome.Butasmysister'shusband,hewillbealwaysentitledtomyrespect;andshallhaveit.

Ifthisbeaccepted,grantme,Sir,thehonourofavisit;anddomethentheinexpressiblepleasureofleadingmedowntothefeetofmyhonouredparents,andtheyshallfindmethemostdutifulofchildren;andtothearmsofmybrotherandsister,andtheyshallfindmethemostobligingandmostaffectionateofsisters.



Iwait,Sir,foryouranswertothisproposal,madewiththewholeheartof

Yourdutifulandmostobligedniece,CL.HARLOWE.

MONDAYNOON.

Ihopethiswillbeaccepted:forBettytellsme,thatmyuncleAntonyandmyauntHerveyaresentfor;andnotMr.Solmes;whichIlookuponasafavourablecircumstance.WithwhatcheerfulnesswillIassignoverthisenviedestate!--WhatamuchmorevaluableconsiderationshallIpartwithitfor!--Theloveandfavourofallmyrelations!Thatloveandfavour,whichIusedforeighteenyearstogethertorejoicein,andbedistinguishedby!--AndwhatacharmingpretencewillthisaffordmeofbreakingwithMr.Lovelace!Andhoweasilywillitpossiblymakehimtopartwithme!

Ifoundthismorning,intheusualplace,aletterfromhim,inanswer,Isuppose,tomineofFriday,whichIdepositednottillSaturday.ButIhavenotopenedit;norwillI,tillIseewhateffectthisnewofferwillhave.

LetmebutbepermittedtoavoidthemanIhate;andIwillgiveupwith

cheerfulnessthemanIcouldprefer.Torenouncetheone,wereIreallytovaluehimasmuchasyouseemtoimagine,cangivebutatemporaryconcern,whichtimeanddiscretionwillalleviate.Thisisasacrificewhichachildowestoparentsandfriends,iftheyinsistuponitsbeingmade.Buttheother,tomarryamanonecannotendure,isnotonlyadishonestthing,astotheman;butitisenoughtomakeacreaturewhowishestobeagoodwife,abadorindifferentone,asIoncewrotetothemanhimself:andthenshecanhardlybeeitheragoodmistress,oragoodfriend;oranythingbutadiscredittoherfamily,andabadexampletoallaroundher.

MethinksIamloth,inthesuspenseIaminatpresent,todepositthis,becauseitwillbeleavingyouinoneasgreat:buthavingbeen

preventedbyBetty'sofficiousnesstwice,Iwillnowgodowntomylittlepoultry;and,ifIhaveanopportunity,willleaveitintheusualplace,whereIhopetofindsomethingfromyou.

LETTERXVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEMONDAYAFTERNOON,MARCH27.

Ihavedepositedmynarrativedowntothisdaynoon;butIhopesoonto

followitwithanotherletter,thatImaykeepyouaslittleawhileaspossibleinthatsuspensewhichIamsomuchaffectedbyatthismoment:formyheartisdisturbedateverfootIhearstir;andateverydoorbelowthatIhearopenorshut.

Theyhavebeenallassembledsometime,andareinclosedebateIbelieve:Butcanthereberoomforlongdebateuponaproposal,which,ifaccepted,willsoeffectuallyansweralltheirviews?--CantheyinsistamomentlongeruponmyhavingMr.Solmes,whentheyseewhatsacrificesIamreadytomake,tobefreedfromhisaddresses?--Oh!but



Isupposethestruggleis,first,withBella'snicety,topersuadehertoacceptoftheestate,andofthehusband;andnext,withherpride,totakehersister'srefusals,assheoncephrasedit!--Or,itmaybe,mybrotherisinsistinguponequivalentsforhisreversionintheestate:andthesesortofthingstakeupbuttoomuchtheattentionofsomeofourfamily.Tothese,nodoubt,oneorboth,itmustbeowing,thatmyproposaladmitsofsomuchconsideration.

Iwant,methinks,toseewhatMr.Lovelace,inhisletter,says.ButIwilldenymyselfthispieceofcuriositytillthatwhichisraisedbymypresentsuspenseisanswered.--Excuseme,mydear,thatIthustroubleyouwithmyuncertainties:butIhavenoemployment,norheart,ifIhad,topursueanyotherbutwhatmypenaffordsme.

MONDAYEVENING.

Wouldyoubelieveit?--Betty,byanticipation,tellsme,thatIamtoberefused.Iam'avile,artfulcreature.Everybodyistoogoodtome.MyuncleHarlowehasbeentakenin,that'sthephrase.Theyknowhowitwouldbe,ifheeitherwrotetome,orsawme.Hehas,however,beenmadeashamedtobesowroughtupon.Aprettythingtrulyintheeyeoftheworlditwouldbe,weretheytotakemeatmyword!Itwouldlookasiftheyhadtreatedmethushardly,asIthinkit,forthisvery

purpose.Mypeculiars,particularlyMissHowe,wouldgiveitthatturn;andImyselfcouldmeannothingbyit,buttoseeifitwouldbeacceptedinordertostrengthenmyownargumentsagainstMr.Solmes.Itwasamazing,thatitcouldadmitofamoment'sdeliberation:thatanythingcouldbesupposedtobedoneinit.Itwasequallyagainstlawandequity:andafinesecurityMissBellawouldhave,orMr.Solmes,whenIcouldresumeitwhenIwould!--Mybrotherandshemyheirs!Otheartfulcreature!--Itoresolvetolivesingle,whenLovelaceissosureofme--andeverywheredeclaresasmuch!--andcanwheneverhepleases,ifmyhusband,claimunderthewill!--Thentheinsolence--theconfidence--[asBettymincinglytoldme,thatonesaid;youmayeasilyguesswho]thatshe,whowassojustlyindisgracefordownrightrebellion,shouldpretendtoprescribetothewholefamily!--Shouldname

ahusbandforhereldersister!--Whatatriumphwouldherobstinacygoawaywith,todelegatehercommands,notasfromaprison,asshecalledit,butasfromherthrone,tohereldersandbetters;andtoherfatherandmothertoo!--Amazing,perfectlyamazing,thatanybodycouldargueuponsuchaproposalasthis!Itwasamaster-strokeoffinesse--ItwasMEinperfection!--SurelymyuncleHarlowewillneveragainbesotakenin!'

Allthiswasthereadiertoldme,becauseitwasagainstme,andwouldteaseandvexme.Butassomeofthisfinerecapitulationimplied,thatsomebodyspokeupforme.Iwascurioustoknowwhoitwas.ButBettywouldnottellme,forfearIshouldhavetheconsolationtofindthatallwerenotagainstme.

Butdoyounotsee,mydear,whatasadcreaturesheiswhomyouhonourwithyourfriendship?--Youcouldnotdoubtyourinfluenceoverme:WhydidyounottakethefriendlylibertyIhavealwaystakenwithyou,andtellmemyfaults,andwhataspecioushypocriteIam?For,ifmybrotherandsistercouldmakesuchdiscoveries,howisitpossible,thatfaultstoenormous[youcouldseeothers,youthought,ofamoresecretnature!]couldescapeyoupenetratingeye?

Well,butnow,itseems,theyaredebatinghowandbywhomtoanswerme:



fortheyknownot,noraretheytoknow,thatMrs.Bettyhastoldmeallthesefinethings.Onedesirestobeexcused,itseems:anotherchoosesnottohaveanythingtosaytome:anotherhasenoughofme:andofwritingtosoreadyascribbler,therewillbenoend.

Thusarethoseimputedqualifications,whichusedsolatelytogainmeapplause,nowbecomemycrimes:somuchdodisgustandangeralterthepropertyofthings.

Theresultoftheirdebate,Isuppose,willsomehoworotherbecommunicatedtomeby-and-by.Butletmetellyou,mydear,thatIammadesodesperate,thatIamafraidtoopenMr.Lovelace'sletter,lest,inthehumourIamin,Ishoulddosomething(ifIfinditnotexceptionable)thatmaygivemerepentanceaslongasIlive.

MONDAYNIGHT.

ThismomentthefollowingletterisbroughtmebyBetty.

MONDAY,5O'CLOCK

MISSCUNNING-ONE,

Yourfinenewproposalisthoughtunworthyofaparticularanswer.YouruncleHarloweisashamedtobesotakenin.HaveyounonewfetchforyouruncleAntony?Goroundwithus,child,nowyourhand'sin.ButIwasbidtowriteonlyoneline,thatyoumightnotcomplain,asyoudidofyourworthysister,forthefreedomsyouprovoked:Itisthis--Prepareyourself.To-morrowyougotomyuncleAntony's.That'sall,child.

JAMESHARLOWE.

Iwasvexedtotheheartatthis:andimmediately,inthewarmthof

resentment,wrotetheenclosedtomyuncleHarlowe;whoitseemsstaysherethisnight.

TOJOHNHARLOWE,ESQ.MONDAYNIGHT.

HONOUREDSIR,

IfindIamaverysadcreature,anddidnotknowit.Iwrotenottomybrother.Toyou,Sir,Iwrote.FromyouIhopethehonourofananswer.NoonereveresherunclemorethanIdo.Nevertheless,betweenuncleandniece,excludesnotsuchahope:andIthinkIhavenotmadeaproposalthatdeservestobetreatedwithscorn.

Forgiveme,Sir--myheartisfull.Perhapsonedayyoumaythinkyouhavebeenprevailedupon(forthatisplainlythecase!)tojointotreatme--asIdonotdeservetobetreated.Ifyouareashamed,asmybrotherhints,ofhavingexpressedanyreturningtendernesstome,Godhelpme!IseeIhavenomercytoexpectfromanybody!But,Sir,fromyourpenletmehaveananswer;Ihumblyimploreitofyou.Tillmybrothercanrecollectwhatbelongstoasister,IwillnottakefromhimnoanswertotheletterIwrotetoyou,noranycommandswhatever.



Imoveeverybody!--This,Sir,iswhatyouarepleasedtomention.ButwhomhaveImoved?--OnepersoninthefamilyhasmoremovingwaysthanIhave,orhecouldneversoundeservedlyhavemadeeverybodyashamedtoshowtendernesstoapoordistressedchildofthesamefamily.

Returnmenotthiswithcontempt,ortorn,orunanswered,Ibeseechyou.Myfatherhasatitletodothatoranythingbyhischild:butfromnootherpersonintheworldofyoursex,Sir,oughtayoungcreatureofmine(whileshepreservesasupplicatingspirit)tobesotreated.

WhenwhatIhavebeforewritteninthehumbleststrainhasmetwithsuchstrangeconstructions,Iamafraidthatthisunguardedscrawlwillbeveryillreceived.ButIbeg,Sir,youwillobligemewithoneline,beiteversoharsh,inanswertomyproposal.Istillthinkitoughttobeattendedto.Iwillenterintothemostsolemnengagementstomakeitvalidbyaperpetualsinglelife.Inaword,anythingIcando,Iwilldo,toberestoredtoallyourfavours.MoreIcannotsay,butthatIam,veryundeservedly,

Amostunhappycreature.

Bettyscrupledagaintocarrythisletter;andsaid,sheshouldhaveanger;andIshouldhaveitreturnedinscrapsandbits.

Imusttakethatchance,saidI:Ionlydesirethatyouwilldeliveritasdirected.

Saddoings!verysad!shesaid,thatyoungladiesshouldsoviolentlysetthemselvesagainsttheirduty.

Itoldher,sheshouldhavethelibertytosaywhatshepleased,soshewouldbutbemymessengerthatonetime:anddownshewentwithit.

Ibidher,ifshecould,slideitintomyuncle'shand,unseen;atleastunseenbymybrotherorsister,forfearitshouldmeet,throughtheirgoodoffice,withthefateshehadbespokenforit.

Shewouldnotundertakeforthat,shesaid.

Iamnowinexpectationoftheresult.Buthavingsolittlegroundtohopefortheirfavourormercy,IopenedMr.Lovelace'sletter.

Iwouldsendittoyou,mydear(aswellasthoseIshallenclose)bythisconveyance;butnotbeingableatpresenttodetermineinwhatmannerIshallanswerit,Iwillgivemyselfthetroubleofabstractingithere,whileIamwaitingforwhatmayofferfromtheletterjustcarrieddown.

'Helaments,asusual,myillopinionofhim,andreadinesstobelieve

everythingtohisdisadvantage.HeputsintoplainEnglish,asIsupposedhewould,myhint,thatImightbehappier,if,byanyrashnesshemightbeguiltyoftoSolmes,heshouldcometoanuntimelyendhimself.'

Heisconcerned,hesays,'Thattheviolencehehadexpressedonhisextremeapprehensivenessoflosingme,shouldhavemadehimguiltyofanythingIhadsomuchreasontoresent.'

Heowns,'Thatheispassionate:allgood-naturedmen,hesays,areso;



andasinceremancannothideit.'Butappealstome,'Whether,ifanyoccasionintheworldcouldexcusetherashnessofhisexpressions,itwouldnotbehispresentdreadfulsituation,throughmyindifference,andthemaliceofhisenemies.'

Hesays,'Hehasmorereasonthanever,fromthecontentsofmylast,toapprehend,thatIshallbeprevaileduponbyforce,ifnotbyfairmeans,tofallinwithmybrother'smeasures;andseesbuttooplainly,thatIampreparinghimtoexpectit.

'Uponthispresumption,hesupplicates,withtheutmostearnestness,thatIwillnotgivewaytothemaliceofhisenemies.

'Solemnvowsofreformation,andeverlastingtruthandobligingness,hemakes;allinthestyleofdespondinghumility:yetcallsitacruelturnuponhim,toimputehisprotestationstoaconsciousnessofthenecessitythereisformakingthemfromhisbadcharacter.

'Hedespiseshimself,hesolemnlyprotests,forhispastfollies.HethanksGodhehasseenhiserror;andnothingbutmymoreparticularinstructionsiswantingtoperfecthisreformation.

'Hepromises,thathewilldoeverythingthatIshallthinkhecandowithhonour,tobringaboutareconciliationwithmyfather;andeven

will,ifIinsistuponit,makethefirstoverturestomybrother,andtreathimashisownbrother,becauseheismine,ifhewillnotbynewaffrontsrevivetheremembranceofthepast.

'Hebegs,inthemostearnestandhumblemanner,foronehalf-hour'sinterview;undertakingbyakey,whichheownshehastothegarden-door,leadingintothecoppice,aswecallit,(ifIwillbutunboltthedoor,)tocomeintothegardenatnight,andwaittillIhaveanopportunitytocometohim,thathemayre-assuremeofthetruthofallhewrites,andoftheaffection,and,ifneedful,protection,ofallhisfamily.

'Hepresumesnot,hesays,towritebywayofmenacetome;butifI

refusehimthisfavour,heknowsnot(sodesperatehavesomestrokesinmylettermadehim)whathisdespairmaymakehimdo.'

Heasksme,'Determined,asmyfriendsare,andfarastheyhavealreadygone,anddeclaretheywillgo,whatcanIproposetodo,toavoidhavingMr.Solmes,ifIamcarriedtomyuncleAntony's;unlessIresolvetoacceptoftheprotectionhehasofferedtoprocureme;orexceptIwillescapetoLondon,orelsewhere,whileIcanescape?'

Headvisesme,'Tosuetoyourmother,forherprivatereceptionofme;onlytillIcanobtainpossessionofmyownestate,andprocuremyfriendstobereconciledtome;whichheissuretheywillbedesiroustobe,themomentIamoutoftheirpower.'

Heapprizesme,[Itisstillmywonder,howhecomesbythisintelligence!]'ThatmyfriendshavewrittentomycousinMordentorepresentmatterstohimintheirownpartialway;nordoubttheytoinfluencehimontheirsideofthequestion.

'ThatallthisshewsIhavebutoneway;ifnoneofmyfriendsorintimateswillreceiveme.

'IfIwilltransporthimwiththehonourofmychoiceofthisoneway,



settlementsshallbedrawn,withproperblanks,whichIshallfillupasIpleased.Lethimbuthavemycommandsfrommyownmouth,allmydoubtsandscruplesfrommyownlips;andonlyarepetition,thatIwillnot,onanyconsideration,beSolmes'swife;andheshallbeeasy.But,aftersuchaletterasIhavewritten,nothingbutaninterviewcanmakehimso.'Hebeseechesmetherefore,'Tounboltthedoor,asthatverynight;or,ifIreceivenotthistimeenough,thisnight;--andhewill,inadisguisethatshallnotgivesuspicionwhoheis,ifheshouldbeseen,cometothegardendoor,inhopestoopenitwithhiskey;norwillhehaveanyotherlodgingthaninthecoppicebothnights;watchingeverywakefulhourforthepropitiousunbolting,unlesshehasaletterwithmyorderstothecontrary,ortomakesomeotherappointment.'

Thisletterwasdatedyesterday:sohewastherelastnight,Isuppose;andwillbetherethisnight;andIhavenotwrittenalinetohim:andnowitistoolate,wereIdeterminedwhattowrite.

IhopehewillnotgotoMr.Solmes.--Ihopehewillnotcomehither.--Ifhedoeither,Iwillbreakwithhimforever.

WhathaveItodowiththeseheadstrongspirits?IwishIhadnever--butwhatsignifieswishing?--Iamstrangelyperplexed:butIneednothavetoldyouthis,aftersucharepresentationofmysituation.

LETTERXVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETUESDAYMORNING,7O'CLOCK

Myunclehasvouchsafedtoanswerme.Thesethatfollowarethecontentsofhisletter;butjustnowbroughtme,althoughwrittenlastnight--lateIsuppose.

MONDAYNIGHT.

MISSCLARY,

Sinceyouaregrownsuchaboldchallenger,andteachusallourduty,thoughyouwillnotpractiseyourown,Imustansweryou.Nobodywantsyouestatefromyou.Areyou,whorefuseeverbody'sadvice,toprescribeahusbandtoyoursister?YourlettertoMr.Solmesisinexcusable.Iblamedyouforitbefore.Yourparentswillbeobeyed.Itisfittheyshould.YourmotherhasneverthelessprevailedtohaveyourgoingtoyouruncleAntony'sputofftillThursday:yetownsyoudeservenotthat,oranyotherfavourfromher.Iwillreceivenomoreofyourletters.Youaretooartfulforme.Youareanungratefulandunreasonablechild:Mustyouhaveyourwayparamounttoeverybody's?

Howareyoualtered.

Yourdispleaseduncle,JOHNHARLOWE.

*****

TobecarriedawayonThursday--Tothemoatedhouse--Tothechapel--ToSolmes!HowcanIthinkofthis!--Theywillmakemedesperate.



TUESDAYMORNING,8O'CLOCK.

IhaveanotherletterfromMr.Lovelace.Iopeneditwiththeexpectationofitsbeingfilledwithboldandfreecomplaints,onmynotwritingtopreventhistwonightswatching,inweathernotextremelyagreeable.But,insteadofcomplaints,heis'fulloftenderconcernlestImayhavebeenpreventedbyindisposition,orbythecloserconfinementwhichhehasfrequentlycautionedmethatImayexpect.'

Hesays,'Hehadbeenindifferentdisguisesloiteringaboutourgardenandparkwall,allthedayonSundaylast;andallSundaynightwaswanderingaboutthecoppice,andnearthebackdoor.Itrained;andhehasgotagreatcold,attendedwithfeverishness,andsohoarse,thathehasalmostlosthisvoice.'

Whydidhenotflameoutinhisletter?--TreatedasIamtreatedbymyfriends,itisdangeroustobelaidunderthesenseofanobligationtoanaddresser'spatience;especiallywhensuchaonesuffersinhealthformysake.

'Hehadnoshelter,hesays,butunderthegreatovergrownivy,whichspreadswildlyroundtheheadsoftwoorthreeoaklings;andthatwas

soonwetthrough.'

Yourememberthespot.YouandI,mydear,oncethoughtourselvesobligedtothenaturalshadewhichthoseivy-coveredoaklingsaffordedus,inasultryday.

Ican'thelpsaying,Iamsorryhehassufferedformysake;but'tishisownseeking.

Hisletterisdatedlastnightateight:'And,indisposedasheis,hetellsmethathewillwatchtillten,inhopesofmygivinghimthemeetinghesoearnestlyrequest.Andafterthat,hehasamiletowalktohishorseandservant;andfourmilesthentoridetohisinn.'

Heowns,'Thathehasanintelligencerinourfamily;whohasfailedhimforadayortwopast:andnotknowinghowIdo,orhowImaybetreated,hisanxietyisincreased.'

Thiscircumstancegivesmetoguesswhothisintelligenceris:JosephLeman:theverycreatureemployedandconfidedin,morethananyother,bymybrother.

ThisisnotanhonourablewayofproceedinginMr.Lovelace.DidhelearnthisinfamouspracticeofcorruptingtheservantsofotherfamiliesattheFrenchcourt,whereheresidedagoodwhile?

IhavebeenoftenjealousofthisLemaninmylittleairingsandpoultry-visits.Doublyobsequiousashewasalwaystome,Ihavethoughthimmybrother'sspyuponme;andalthoughheobligedmebyhishasteningoutofthegardenandpoultry-yard,wheneverIcameintoeither,havewondered,thatfromhisreportsmylibertiesofthosekindshavenotbeenabridged.*So,possibly,thismanmaybebribedbyboth,yetbetrayboth.Worthyviewswantnotsuchobliquitiesastheseoneitherside.Anhonestmindmustriseintoindignationbothatthetraitor-makerandthetraitor.



*Mr.Lovelaceaccountsforthis,Vol.I,LetterXXXV.

'Hepresseswiththeutmostearnestnessforaninterview.Hewouldnotpresume,hesays,todisobeymylastpersonalcommands,thatheshouldnotendeavourtoattendmeagaininthewood-house.Butsays,hecangivemesuchreasonsformypermittinghimtowaituponmyfatheroruncles,ashehopeswillbeapprovedbyme:forhecannothelpobserving,thatitisnomoresuitabletomyownspiritthantohis,thathe,amanoffortuneandfamily,shouldbeobligedtopursuesuchaclandestineaddress,aswouldonlybecomeavilefortune-hunter.But,ifIwillgivemyconsentforhisvisitingmelikeaman,andagentleman,noilltreatmentshallprovokehimtoforfeithistemper.

'LordM.willaccompanyhim,ifIplease:orLadyBettyLawrancewillfirstmakethevisittomymother,ortomyauntHervey,oreventomyuncles,ifIchooseit.Andsuchtermsshallbeoffered,asshallhaveweightuponthem.

'Hebegs,thatIwillnotdenyhimmakingavisittoMr.Solmes.Byallthat'sgood,hevows,thatitshallnotbewiththeleastintentioneithertohurtoraffronthim;butonlytosetbeforehim,calmlyandrationally,theconsequencesthatmaypossiblyflowfromsofruitlessa

perseverance,aswellastheungenerousfollyofit,toamindasnobleasmine.Herepeatshisownresolutiontoattendmypleasure,andMr.Morden'sarrivalandadvice,fortherewardofhisownpatience.

'Itisimpossible,hesays,butoneofthesemethodsmustdo.Presence,heobserves,evenofadislikedperson,takesofftheedgeofresentmentswhichabsencewhets,andmakeskeen.

'Hethereforemostearnestlyrepeatshisimportunitiesforthesupplicatedinterview.'Hesays,'HehasbusinessofconsequenceinLondon:butcannotstirfromtheinconvenientspotwherehehasforsometimeresided,indisguisesunworthyofhimself,untilhecanbeabsolutelycertain,thatIshallnotbeprevailedupon,eitherbyforce

orotherwise;anduntilhefindsmedeliveredfromtheinsultsofmybrother.Noroughtthistobeanindifferentpointtoone,forwhosesakealltheworldreportsmetobeusedunworthily.Butoneremark,hesays,hecannothelpmaking:thatdidmyfriendsknowthelittlefavourIshewhim,andtheverygreatdistanceIkeephimat,theywouldhavenoreasontoconfinemeonhisaccount.Andanother,thattheythemselvesseemtothinkhimentitledtoadifferentusage,andexpectthathereceivesit;when,intruth,whathemeetswithfrommeisexactlywhattheywishhimtomeetwith,exceptinginthefavourofmycorrespondenceIhonourhimwith;uponwhich,hesays,heputsthehighestvalue,andforthesakeofwhichhehassubmittedtoathousandindignities.

'Herenewshisprofessionsofreformation.Heisconvinced,hesays,thathehasalreadyrunalonganddangerouscourse;andthatitishightimetothinkofreturning.Itmustbefromproperconviction,hesays,thatapersonwhohaslivedtoogayalife,resolvestoreclaim,beforeageorsufferingscomeuponhim.

'Allgenerousspirits,heobserves,hatecompulsion.Uponthisobservationhedwells;butregrets,thatheislikelytooweallhishopestothiscompulsion;thisinjudiciouscompulsion,hejustlycallsit;andnonetomyesteemforhim.Althoughhepresumesuponsome



merit--inthisimplicitregardtomywill--inthebearingthedailyindignitiesofferednotonlytohim,buttohisrelations,bymybrother--inthenightlywatchings,hispresentindispositionmakeshimmention,orhehadnotdebasedthenoblenessofhispassionforme,bysuchaselfishinstance.'

Icannotbutsay,Iamsorrythemanisnotwell.

Iamafraidtoaskyou,mydear,whatyouwouldhavedone,thussituated.ButwhatIhavedone,Ihavedone.Inaword,Iwrote,'ThatIwould,ifpossible,givehimameetingto-morrownight,betweenthehoursofnineandtwelve,bytheivysummer-house,orinit,ornearthegreatcascade,atthebottomofthegarden;andwouldunboltthedoor,thathemightcomeinbyhisownkey.Butthat,ifIfoundthemeetingimpracticable,orshouldchangemymind,Iwouldsignifyasmuchbyanotherline;whichhemustwaitforuntilitweredark.'

TUESDAY,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

Iamjustreturnedfromdepositingmybillet.Howdiligentisthisman!Itisplainhewasinwaiting:forIhadwalkedbutafewpaces,afterIhaddepositedit,when,myheartmisgivingme,Ireturned,tohavetakenitback,inordertoreconsideritasIwalked,andwhetherIshouldor

shouldnotletitgo.ButIfounditgone.

Inallprobability,therewasbutabrickwall,ofafewinchesthick,betweenMr.Lovelaceandme,attheverytimeIputtheletterunderthebrick!

Iamcomebackdissatisfiedwithmyself.ButIthink,mydear,therecanbenoharminmeetinghim.IfIdonot,hemaytakesomeviolentmeasures.WhatheknowsofthetreatmentImeetwithinmalicetohim,andwiththeviewtofrustrateallhishopes,maymakehimdesperate.HisbehaviourlasttimeIsawhim,underthedisadvantagesoftimeandplace,andsurprisedasIwas,givesmenoapprehensionofanythingbutdiscovery.Whatherequiresisnotunreasonable,andcannotaffectmy

futurechoiceanddetermination:itisonlytoassurehimfrommyownlips,thatIneverwillbethewifeofamanIhate.IfIhavenotanopportunitytomeetwithouthazardordetection,hemustoncemorebearthedisappointment.Allhistrouble,andminetoo,isowingtohisfaultycharacter.This,althoughIhatetyrannyandarroganceinallshapes,makesmethinklessoftherisquesheruns,andthefatiguesheundergoes,thanotherwiseIshoulddo;andstillless,asmysufferings(derivedfromthesamesource)aregreaterthanhis.

Bettyconfirmsthisintimation,thatImustgotomyuncle'sonThursday.Shewassentonpurposetodirectmetopreparemyselfforgoing,andtohelpmetogeteverythingupinorderformyremoval.

LETTERXIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAY,THREEO'CLOCK,MARCH28.

IhavementionedseveraltimesthepertnessofMrs.Bettytome;andnow,havingalittletimeuponmyhands,Iwillgiveyouashort



dialoguethatpassedjustnowbetweenus.Itmay,perhaps,bealittlerelieftoyoufromthedullsubjectswithwhichIamperpetuallyteasingyou.

Assheattendedmeatdinner,shetooknotice,ThatNatureissatisfiedwithaverylittlenourishment:andthusshecomplimentallyprovedit--For,Miss,saidshe,youeatnothing;yetneverlookedmorecharminglyinyourlife.

Astotheformerpartofyourspeech,Betty,saidI,youobservewell;andIhaveoftenthought,whenIhaveseenhowhealthythechildrenofthelabouringpoorlook,andare,withemptystomachs,andhardlyagoodmealinaweek,thatGodAlmightyisverykindtohiscreatures,inthisrespect,aswellasinallothersinmakingmuchnotnecessarytothesupportoflife;whenthreepartsinfourofHiscreatures,ifitwere,wouldnotknowhowtoobtainit.Itputsmeinmindoftwoproverbialsentenceswhicharefullofadmirablemeaning.

What,pray,Miss,arethey?Ilovetohearyoutalk,whenyouaresosedateasyouseemnowtobe.

Theoneistothepurposewearespeakingof:Povertyisthemotherofhealth.Andletmetellyou,Betty,ifIhadabetterappetite,andweretoencourageit,withsolittlerest,andsomuchdistressand

persecution,Idon'tthinkIshouldbeabletopreservemyreason.

There'snoinconveniencebuthasitsconvenience,saidBetty,givingmeproverbforproverb.Butwhatistheother,Madam?

Thatthepleasuresofthemightyarenotobtainedbythetearsofthepoor.Itisbutreasonable,therefore,methinks,thattheplentyoftheoneshouldbefollowedbydistempers;andthattheindigenceoftheothershouldbeattendedwiththathealth,whichmakesallitsotherdiscomfortslightonthecomparison.Andhenceathirdproverb,Betty,sinceyouareanadmirerofproverbs:Betterahare-footthannoneatall;thatistosay,thannottobeabletowalk.

ShewasmightilytakenwithwhatIsaid:See,returnedshe,whatafinethingscholarshipis!--I,saidshe,hadalways,fromagirl,atasteforreading,thoughitwerebutinMotherGoose,andconcerningthefairies[andthenshetookgenteellyapinchofsnuff]:couldbutmyparentshaveletgoasfastasIpulled,Ishouldhavebeenaveryhappycreature.

Verylikely,youwouldhavemadegreatimprovements,Betty:butasitis,Icannotsay,butsinceIhadthefavourofyourattendanceinthisintimatemanner,Ihaveheardsmarterthingsfromyou,thanIhaveheardattablefromsomeofmybrother'sfellow-collegians.

Yourservant,dearMiss;droppingmeoneofherbestcourtesies:so

fineajudgeasyouare!--Itisenoughtomakeoneveryproud.Thenwithanotherpinch--Icannotindeedbutsay,bridlinguponit,thatIhaveheardfamousscholarsoftenandoftensayverysillythings:thingsIshouldbeashamedmyselftosay;butIthoughttheydiditoutofhumility,andincondescensiontothosewhohadnottheirlearning.

Thatshemightnotbetooproud,Itoldher,Iwouldobserve,thatthelivelinessorquicknessshesohappilydiscoveredinherself,wasnotsomuchanhonourtoher,aswhatsheowedtohersex;which,asIhadobservedinmanyinstances,hadgreatadvantagesovertheother,inall



thepowersthatrelatedtoimagination.Andhence,Mrs.Betty,you'lltakenotice,asIhaveoflatehadopportunitytodo,thatyourowntalentatreparteeandsmartness,whenithassomethingtoworkupon,displaysitselftomoreadvantage,thancouldwellbeexpectedfromonewhosefriends,tospeakinyourownphrase,couldnotletgosofastasyoupulled.

Thewenchgavemeaproofofthetruthofmyobservation,inamannerstillmorealertthanIhadexpected:If,saidshe,oursexhadsomuchadvantageinsmartness,itisthelesstobewonderedat,thatyou,Miss,whohavehadsuchaneducation,shouldoutdoallthemenandwomentoo,thatcomenearyou.

Blessme,Betty,saidI,whataproofdoyougivemeofyourwitandyourcourageatthesametime!Thisisoutdoingyourself.Itwouldmakeyoungladieslessproud,andmoreapprehensive,weretheygenerallyattendedbysuchsmartservants,andtheirmouthspermittedtobeunlockeduponthemasyourshasbeenlatelyuponme.--But,takeaway,Mrs.Betty.

Why,Miss,youhaveeatnothingatall--IhopeyouarenotdispleasedwithyourdinnerforanythingIhavesaid.

No,Mrs.Betty,Iamprettywellusedtoyourfreedomsnow,youknow.--I

amnotdispleasedinthemain,toobserve,that,werethesuccessionofmodernfineladiestobeextinct,itmightbesuppliedfromthosewhomtheyplaceinthenextranktothemselves,theirchamber-maidsandconfidants.Youryoungmistresshascontributedagreatdealtothisquicknessofyours.Shealwayspreferredyourcompanytomine.Asyoupulled,sheletgo;andso,Mrs.Betty,youhavegainedbyherconversationwhatIhavelost.

Why,Miss,ifyoucometothat,nobodysaysbetterthingsthanMissHarlowe.Icouldtellyouone,ifIpleased,uponmyobservingtoher,thatyoulivedoflateupontheair,andhadnostomachtoanything;yetlookedascharminglyasever.

Idaresay,itwasaverygood-naturedone,Mrs.Betty!DoyouthenpleasethatIshallhearit?

Onlythis,Miss,Thatyourstomachfulnesshadswallowedupyourstomach;and,Thatobstinacywasmeat,drink,andclothestoyou.

Ay,Mrs.Betty;anddidshesaythis?--Ihopeshelaughedwhenshesaidit,asshedoesatallhergoodthings,asshecallsthem.Itwasverysmart,andverywitty.Iwishmymindweresomuchatease,astoaimatbeingwittytoo.Butifyouadmiresuchsententioussayings,I'llhelpyoutoanother;andthatis,Encouragementandapprobationmakepeopleshowtalentstheywereneversuspectedtohave;andthiswilldobothformistressandmaid.AndanotherI'llfurnishyouwith,the

contraryoftheformer,thatwilldoonlyforme:Thatpersecutionanddiscouragementdepressingenuousminds,andblunttheedgeoflivelyimaginations.Andhencemaymysister'sbrilliancyandmystupiditybebothaccountedfor.Ingenuous,youmustknow,Mrs.Betty,andingenious,aretwothings;andIwouldnotarrogatethelattertomyself.

Lord,Miss,saidthefoolishgirl,youknowagreatdealforyouryears.--Youareaverylearnedyounglady!--Whatpity--

Noneofyourpitties,Mrs.Betty,Iknowwhatyou'dsay.Buttellme,if



youcan,IsitresolvedthatIshallbecarriedtomyuncleAntony'sonThursday?

Iwaswillingtorewardmyselfforthepatienceshehadmademeexercise,bygettingatwhatintelligenceIcouldfromher.

Why,Miss,seatingherselfatalittledistance(excusemysittingdown)withthesnuff-boxtappedverysmartly,thelidopened,andapinchtakenwithadaintyfingerandthumb,theotherthreefingersdistendedlybent,andwithafineflourish--Icannotbutsay,thatitismyopinion,youwillcertainlygoonThursday;andthisnolessfoless,asIhaveheardmyyoungladysayinFRENCH.

WhetherIamwillingornotwilling,youmean,Isuppose,Mrs.Betty?

Youhaveit,Miss.

Wellbut,Betty,Ihavenomindtobeturnedoutofdoorssosuddenly.DoyouthinkIcouldnotbepermittedtotarryoneweeklonger?

HowcanItell,Miss?

OMrs.Betty,youcantellagreatdeal,ifyouplease.ButhereIamforbidwritingtoanyoneofmyfamily;noneofitnowwillcomenear

me;norwillanyofitpermitmetoseethem:HowshallIdotomakeknownmyrequest,tostayhereaweekorfortnightlonger?

Why,Miss,Ifancy,ifyouweretoshewacompliabletemper,yourfriendswouldshewacompliableonetoo.Butwouldyouexpectfavours,andgrantnone?

Smartlyput,Betty!ButwhoknowswhatmaybetheresultofmybeingcarriedtomyuncleAntony's?

Whoknows,Miss!--Whyanybodywillguesswhatmaybetheresult.

Ashow,Betty?

Ashow!repeatedthepertwench,Why,Miss,youwillstandinyourownlight,asyouhavehithertodone:andyourparents,assuchgoodparentsought,willbeobeyed.

If,Mrs.Betty,Ihadnotbeenusedtoyouroughts,andtohavemydutylaiddowntomebyyouroraculouswisdomIshouldbeapttostareatthelibertyofyouspeech.

Youseemangry,Miss.IhopeItakenounbecomingliberty.

Ifthoureallythinkestthoudostnot,thyignoranceismoretobepitied,thanthypertnessresented.Iwishthouwouldstleavemeto

myself.

Whenyoungladiesfalloutwiththeirownduty,itisnotmuchtobewonderedat,thattheyareangryatanybodywhodotheirs.

That'saveryprettysaying,Mrs.Betty!--Iseeplainlywhatthydutyisinthynotion,andamobligedtothosewhotaughtitthee.

Everybodytakesnotice,Miss,thatyoucansayverycuttingwordsinacoolmanner,andyetnotcallnames,asIhaveknownsomegentlefolks



aswellasothersdowheninapassion.ButIwishyouhadpermitted'SquireSolmestoseeyou:hewouldhavetoldyousuchstoriesof'SquireLovelace,asyouwouldhaveturnedyourheartagainsthimforever.

Andknowyouanyoftheparticularsofthosesadstories?

IndeedIdon't;butyou'llhearallatyouruncleAntony's,Isuppose;andagreatdealmoreperhapsthanyouwillliketohear.

LetmehearwhatIwill,IamdeterminedagainstMr.Solmes,wereittocostmemylife.

Ifyouare,Miss,theLordhavemercyonyou!Forwhatwiththisletterofyoursto'SquireSolmes,whomtheysomuchvalue,andwhatwiththeirantipathyto'SquireLovelace,whomtheyhate,theywillhavenopatiencewithyou.

Whatwilltheydo,Betty?Theywon'tkillme?Whatwilltheydo?

Killyou!No!--Butyouwillnotbesufferedtostirfromthence,tillyouhavecompliedwithyourduty.Andnopenandinkwillbeallowedyouashere;wheretheyareofopinionyoumakenogooduseofit:norwoulditbeallowedhere,onlyastheyintendsosoontosendyouawaytoyour

uncle's.No-bodywillbepermittedtoseeyou,ortocorrespondwithyou.Whatfartherwillbedone,Ican'tsay;and,ifIcould,itmaynotbeproper.Butyoumaypreventall,byoneword:andIwishyouwould,Miss.Allthenwouldbeeasyandhappy.And,ifImayspeakmymind,Iseenotwhyonemanisnotasgoodasanother:why,especially,asobermanisnotasgoodasarake.

Well,Betty,saidI,sighing,allthyimpertinencegoesfornothing.ButIseeIamdestinedtobeaveryunhappycreature.YetIwillventureupononerequestmoretothem.

Andso,quitesickofthepertcreatureandofmyself,Iretiredtomycloset,andwroteafewlinestomyuncleHarlowe,notwithstandinghis

prohibition;inordertogetareprievefrombeingcarriedawaysosoonasThursdaynext,ifImustgo.Andthis,thatImight,ifcompliedwith,suspendtheappointmentIhavemadewithMr.Lovelace;formyheartmisgivesmeastomeetinghim;andthatmoreandmore;Iknownotwhy.Underthesuperscriptionoftheletter,Iwrotethesewords:'Pray,dearSir,bepleasedtogivethisareading.'

ThisisacopyofwhatIwrote:

TUESDAYAFTERNOON.

HONOUREDSIR,

Letmethisoncebeheardwithpatience,andhavemypetitiongranted.Itisonly,thatImaynotbehurriedawaysosoonasnextThursday.

Whyshouldthepoorgirlbeturnedoutofdoorssosuddenly,sodisgracefully?Procureforme,Sir,onefortnight'srespite.Inthatspaceoftime,Ihopeyouwillallrelent.Mymammashallnotneedtoshutherdoorinapprehensionofseeingherdisgracefulchild.Iwillnotpresumetothinkofenteringherpresence,ormypapa'swithoutleave.Onefortnight'srespiteisbutasmallfavourforthemtogrant,



exceptIamtoberefusedeverythingIask;butitisofthehighestimporttomypeaceofmind.Procureitforme,therefore,dearestSir;andyouwillexceedinglyoblige

Yourdutiful,thoughgreatlyafflictedniece,CL.HARLOWE.

Isentthisdown:myunclewasnotgone:andhenowstaystoknowtheresultofthequestionputtomeintheenclosedanswerwhichhehasgiventomind.

Yourgoingtoyouruncle'swasabsolutelyconcludeduponfornextThursday.Nevertheless,yourmother,secondedbyMr.Solmes,pleadedsostronglytohaveyouindulged,thatyourrequestforadelaywillbecompliedwith,upononecondition;andwhetherforafortnight,orashortertime,thatwilldependuponyourself.Ifyourefusethecondition,yourmotherdeclaresshewillgiveoverallfurtherintercessionforyou.--Nordoyoudeservethisfavour,asyouputituponouryieldingtoyou,notyoutous.

Thisconditionis,thatyouadmitofavisitfromMr.Solmes,foronehour,incompanyofyourbrother,yoursister,oryouruncleAntony,choosewhoyouwill.

Ifyoucomplynot,gonextThursdaytoahousewhichisbecomestrangelyodioustoyouoflate,whetheryougetreadytogoornot.Answerthereforedirectlytothepoint.Noevasion.Nameyourdayandhour.Mr.Solmeswillneithereatyou,nordrinkyou.Letussee,whetherwearetobecompliedwithinanything,ornot.

JOHNHARLOWE.

*****

Afteraverylittledeliberation,Iresolvedtocomplywiththiscondition.AllIfearis,thatMr.Lovelace'sintelligencermayinformhimofit;andthathisapprehensionsuponitmaymakehimtakesomedesperateresolution:especiallyasnow(havingmoretimegivenmehere)Ithinktowritetohimtosuspendtheinterviewheispossiblysosureof.Isentdownthefollowingtomyuncle:

HONOUREDSIR,

AlthoughIseenotwhatendtheproposedconditioncananswer,Icomplywithit.IwishIcouldwitheverythingexpectedofme.IfImustnameone,inwhosecompanyIamtoseethegentleman,andthatonenotmy

mamma,whosepresenceIcouldwishtobehonouredbyontheoccasion,letmyuncle,ifhepleases,betheperson.IfImustnametheday,(alongday,Idoubt,willnotbepermittedme,)letitbenextTuesday.

Thehour,fourintheafternoon.Theplaceeithertheivysummer-house,orinthelittleparlourIusedtobepermittedtocallmine.

Bepleased,Sir,nevertheless,toprevailuponmymamma,tovouchsafemeherpresenceontheoccasion.



Iam,Sir,yourever-dutifulCL.HARLOWE.

Areplyisjustsentme.Ithoughtitbecamemyaversenesstothismeeting,tonameadistantday:butIdidnotexpecttheywouldhavecompliedwithit.Sohereisoneweekgained!

Thisisthereply:

Youhavedonewelltocomply.Wearewillingtothinkthebestofeveryslightinstanceofdutyfromyou.Yethaveyouseemedtoconsiderthedayasanevilday,andsoputiffaroff.Thisneverthelessisgrantedyou,asnotimeneedtobelost,ifyouareasgenerousaftertheday,aswearecondescendingbeforeit.Letmeadviseyou,nottohardenyourmind;nortakeupyourresolutionbeforehand.Mr.Solmeshasmoreawe,andeventerror,atthethoughtofseeingyou,thanyoucanhaveatthethoughtsofseeinghim.Hismotiveislove;letnotyoursbehatred.MybrotherAntonywillbepresent,inhopesyouwilldeservewellofhim,bybehavingwelltothefriendofthefamily.Seeyouusehimassuch.Yourmotherhadpermissiontobethere,ifshethoughtfit:butsays,shewouldnotforathousandpound,unlessyouwouldencourageherbeforehandasshewishestobeencouraged.OnehintIamtogiveyoumeantime.Itisthis:Tomakeadiscreetuseofyourpenandink.

Methinksayoungcreatureofnicenessshouldbelessreadytowritetooneman,whensheisdesignedtobeanother's.

Thiscompliance,Ihope,willproducegreater,andthenthepeaceofthefamilywillberestored:whichiswhatisheartilywishedby

Yourlovinguncle,JOHNHARLOWE.

Unlessitbetothepurposeourheartsaresetupon,youneednotwriteagain.

*****

Thismanhavemoreterroratseeingme,thanIcanhaveatseeinghim!--Howcanthatbe?Ifhehadhalfasmuch,hewouldnotwishtoseeme!--Hismotivelove!--Yes,indeed!Loveofhimself!Heknowsnoother;forlove,thatdeservesthename,seeksthesatisfactionofthebelovedobjectmorethanitsown.Weighedinthisscale,whataprofanationisthismanguiltyof!

Nottotakeupmyresolutionbeforehand!--Thatadvicecomestoolate.

ButImustmakeadiscreetuseofmypen.That,Idoubt,astheyhavemanagedit,inthesensetheymeanit,isasmuchoutofmypower,as

theother.

Butwritetooneman,whenIamdesignedforanother!--Whatashockingexpressionisthat!

RepentingofmyappointmentwithMr.LovelacebeforeIhadthisfavourgrantedme,youmaybelieveIhesitatednotamomenttorevokeitnowthatIhadgainedsucharespite.Accordingly,Iwrote,'ThatIfounditinconvenienttomeethim,asIhadintended:thattherisqueIshouldrunofadiscovery,andthemischiefsthatmightflowfromit,couldnot



bejustifiedbyanyendthatsuchameetingcouldanswer:thatIfoundonecertainservantmoreinmyway,whenItookmymorningandeveningairings,thananyother:thatthepersonwhomightrevealthesecretsofafamilytohim,might,ifopportunityweregivenhim,betrayme,orhim,tothosewhomitwashisdutytoserve:thatIhadnotbeenusedtoaconductsofaulty,astolaymyselfatthemercyofservants:andwassorryhehadmeasurestopursue,thatmadestepsnecessaryinhisownopinion,which,inmine,wereveryculpable,andwhichnoendcouldjustify:thatthingsdrawingtowardsacrisisbetweenmyfriendsandme,aninterviewcouldavailnothing;especiallyasthemethodbywhichthiscorrespondencewascarriedonwasnotsuspected,andhecouldwriteallthatwasinhismindtowrite:thatIexpectedtobeatlibertytojudgeofwhatwasproperandfituponthisoccasion:especiallyashemightbeassured,thatIwouldsoonerchoosedeath,thanMr.Solmes.'

TUESDAYNIGHT.

IhavedepositedmylettertoMr.Lovelace.Threateningasthingslookagainstme,IammuchbetterpleasedwithmyselffordecliningtheinterviewthanIwasbefore.Isupposehewillbealittleoutofhumouruponit,however:butasIreservedtomyselfthelibertyofchangingmymind;andasitiseasyforhimtoimaginetheremaybereasonsforitwithin-doors,whichhecannotjudgeofwithout;besidesthoseIhave

suggested,whichofthemselvesareofsufficientweighttoengagehisacquiescence;Ishouldthinkitstrange,ifheacquiescesnotonthisoccasion,andthatwithacheerfulness,whichmayshewme,thathislastletteriswrittenfromhisheart:For,ifhebereallysomuchconcernedathispastfaults,ashepretends,andhasforsometimepretended,musthenot,ofcourse,havecorrected,insomedegree,theimpetuosityofhistemper?Thefirststeptoreformation,asIconceive,istosubduesuddengustsofpassion,fromwhichfrequentlythegreatestevilsarise,andtolearntobeardisappointments.Iftheirasciblepassionscannotbeovercome,whatopinioncanwehaveoftheperson'spoweroverthosetowhichbadhabit,joinedtogreatertemptation,givesstrongerforce?

Pray,mydear,besokindastomakeinquiry,bysomesafehand,afterthedisguisesMr.LovelaceassumesattheinnheputsupatinthepoorvillageofNeale,hecallsit.IfitbethesameItakeittobe,Ineverknewitwasconsiderableenoughtohaveaname;northatithasaninninit.

Ashemust,tobesoconstantlynearus,bemuchthere,Iwouldbegladtohavesomeaccountofhisbehaviour;andwhatthepeoplethinkofhim.Insuchalengthoftime,hemustbyhisconducteithergivescandal,orhopeofreformation.Pray,mydear,humourmeinthisinquiry.Ihavereasonforit,whichyoushallbeacquaintedwithanothertime,iftheresultoftheinquirydiscoverthemnot.

LETTERXX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDNESDAYMORNING,NINEO'CLOCK.

Iamjustreturnedfrommymorningwalk,andalreadyhavereceivedaletterfromMr.Lovelaceinanswertominedepositedlastnight.He



musthavehadpen,ink,andpaperwithhim;foritwaswritteninthecoppice;withthiscircumstance:Ononeknee,kneelingwiththeother.Notfromreverencetothewrittento,however,asyou'llfind!

Wellweareinstructedearlytokeepthesemenatdistance.Anundesigningopenheart,whereitislothtodisoblige,iseasilydrawnin,Isee,toobligemorethaneveritdesigned.Itistooapttogovernitselfbywhataboldspiritisencouragedtoexpectofit.Itisverydifficultforagood-naturedyoungpersontogiveanegativewhereitdisesteemsnot.

Ourheartsmayhardenandcontract,aswegainexperience,andwhenwehavesmartedperhapsforoureasyfolly:andsotheyought,orweshouldbeuponveryunequaltermswiththeworld.

Excusethesegravereflections.Thismanhasvexedmeheartily.Iseehisgentlenesswasart:fierceness,andatemperlikewhatIhavebeentoomuchusedtoathome,areNatureinhim.Nothing,Ithink,shallevermakemeforgivehim;for,surely,therecanbenogoodreasonforhisimpatienceonanexpectationgivenwithreserve,andrevocable.--Isomuchtosufferthroughhim;yet,tobetreatedasifIwereobligedtobearinsultsfromhim--!

Buthereyouwillbepleasedtoreadhisletter;whichIshallenclose.


GOODGOD!

Whatisnowtobecomeofme!--HowshallIsupportthisdisappointment!--Nonewcause!--Ononeknee,kneelingwiththeother,Iwrite!--Myfeetbenumbedwithmidnightwanderingsthroughtheheaviestdewsthateverfell:mywigandmylinendrippingwiththehoarfrostdissolvingonthem!--Daybutjustbreaking--Sunnotrisentoexhale--Mayitneverriseagain!--Unlessitbringhealingandcomforttoabenightedsoul!Inproportiontothejoyyouhadinspired(everlovelypromiser!)

insuchproportionismyanguish!

Omybelovedcreature!--Butarenotyourveryexcusesconfessionsofexcusesinexcusable?IknownotwhatIwrite!--Thatservantinyourway!*BythegreatGodofHeaven,thatservantwasnot,darednot,couldnot,beinyourway!--Curseuponthecoolcautionthatispleasedtodeprivemeofanexpectationsotransporting!

*SeeLetterXIX.

Andarethingsdrawingtowardsacrisisbetweenyourfriendsand

you?--Isnotthisareasonformetoexpect,therathertoexpect,thepromisedinterview?

CANIwriteallthatisinmymind,sayyou?--Impossible!--Notthehundredthpartofwhatisinmymind,andinmyapprehension,canIwrite!

Oh!thewavering,thechangeablesex!--ButcanMissClarissaHarlowe--

Forgiveme,Madam!--IknownotwhatIwrite!



Yet,Imust,Ido,insistuponyourpromise--orthatyouwillcondescendtofindbetterexcusesforthefailure--orconvinceme,thatstrongerreasonsareimposeduponyou,thanthoseyouoffer.--Apromiseoncegiven(upondeliberationgiven,)thepromisedonlycandispensewith;exceptincasesofaveryapparentnecessityimposeduponthepromiser,whichleavesnopowertoperformit.

Thefirstpromiseyouevermademe!Lifeanddeathperhapsdependinguponit--myheartdespondingfromthebarbarousmethodsresolvedtobetakenwithyouinmalicetome!

YouwouldsoonerchoosedeaththanSolmes.(Howmysoulspurnsthecompetition!)Omybelovedcreature,whatarethesebutwords?--Whosewords?--Sweetandeveradorable--What?--Promisebreaker--mustIcallyou?--HowshallIbelievetheasseveration,(yoursupposeddutyinthequestion!Persecutionsoflaming!--Hatredtomesostronglyavowed!)afterthisinstanceofyousolightlydispensingwithyourpromise?

If,mydearestlife!youwouldpreventmydistraction,or,atleast,distractedconsequences,renewthepromisedhope!--Myfateisindeeduponitscrisis.

Forgiveme,dearestcreature,forgiveme!--IknowIhavewrittenintoo

muchanguishofmind!--Writingthis,inthesamemomentthatthejustdawninglighthasimpartedtometheheavydisappointment.

Idarenotre-perusewhatIhavewritten.Imustdepositit.Itmayservetoshewyoumydistractedapprehensionthatthisdisappointmentisbutapreludetothegreatestofall.--Nor,havinghereanyotherpaper,amIabletowriteagain,ifIwould,onthisgloomyspot.(Gloomyismysoul;andallNaturearoundmepartakesofmygloom!)--Itrustitthereforetoyourgoodness--ifitsfervourexciteyourdispleasureratherthanyourpity,youwrongmypassion;andIshallbereadytoapprehend,thatIamintendedtobethesacrificeofmoremiscreantsthanone![Havepatiencewithme,dearestcreature!--ImeanSolmesandyourbrotheronly.]Butif,exertingyourusualgenerosity,youwill

excuseandreappoint,maythatGod,whomyouprofesstoserve,andwhoistheGodoftruthandofpromises,protectandblessyou,forboth;andforrestoringtohimself,andtohope,

Yourever-adoring,yetalmostdesponding,LOVELACE!

IvyCavern,intheCoppice--Daybutjustbreaking.

*****

ThisistheanswerIshallreturn:

WEDNESDAYMORNING.

Iamamazed,Sir,atthefreedomofyourreproaches.Pressedandteased,againstconvenienceandinclination,togiveyouaprivatemeeting,amItobethuschallengedandupbraided,andmysexreflectedupon,becauseIthoughtitprudenttochangemymind?--AlibertyIhadreservedtomyself,whenImadetheappointment,asyoucallit.Iwantednotinstancesofyourimpatientspirittootherpeople:yetmayitbehappy



forme,thatIcanhavethisnewone;whichshows,thatyoucanaslittlespareme,whenIpursuethedictatesofmyownreason,asyoudoothers,foractinguptotheirs.Twomotivesyoumustbegovernedbyinthisexcess.Theonemyeasiness;theotheryourownpresumption.Sinceyouthinkyouhavefoundoutthefirst,andhaveshownsomuchofthelastuponit,Iamtoomuchalarmed,nottowishanddesire,thatyourletterofthisdaymayconcludeallthetroubleyouhadfrom,orfor,

Yourhumbleservant,CL.HARLOWE.

*****

Ibelieve,mydear,Imaypromisemyselfyourapprobation,wheneverIwriteorspeakwithspirit,beittowhomitwill.Indeed,Ifindbuttoomuchreasontoexertit,sinceIhavetodealwithpeople,whogovernthemselvesintheirconducttome,notbywhatisfitordecent,rightorwrong,butbywhattheythinkmytemperwillbear.Ihave,tillverylately,beenpraisedformine;butithasalwaysbeenbythosewhonevergavemeopportunitytoreturnthecomplimenttothem.Somepeoplehaveacted,asiftheythoughtforbearanceononesideabsolutelynecessaryforthemandmetobeupongoodtermstogether;andinthiscasehaveevertakencarerathertoowethatobligationthantolayit.

Youhavehintedtome,thatresentmentisnotnaturaltomytemper,andthatthereforeitmustsoonsubside:itmaybesowithrespecttomyrelations;butnottoMr.Lovelace,Iassureyou.

WEDNESDAYNOON,MARCH29.

Wecannotalwaysanswerforwhatwecando:buttoconvinceyou,thatIcankeepmyaboveresolution,withregardtoMr.Lovelace,angryasmyletteris,andthreehourssinceitwaswritten,Iassureyou,thatIrepentitnot;norwillsoftenit,althoughIfinditisnottakenaway.AndyetIhardlyeverbeforedidanythinginanger,thatIdidnotrepentinhalfanhour;andquestionmyselfinlessthatthattime,

whetherIwasrightorwrong.

InthisrespitetillTuesday,Ihavealittletimetolookaboutme,asImaysay,andtoconsiderofwhatIhavetodo,andcando.AndMr.Lovelace'sinsolencewillmakemegoveryhomewithmyself.NotthatIthinkIcanconquermyaversiontoMr.Solmes.IamsureIcannot.But,ifIabsolutelybreakwithMr.Lovelace,andgivemyfriendsconvincingproofsofit,whoknowsbuttheywillrestoremetotheirfavour,andlettheirviewsinrelationtotheothermangooffbydegrees?--Or,atleast,thatImaybesafetillmycousinMordenarrives:towhom,Ithink,Iwillwrite;andtherather,asMr.Lovelacehasassuredme,thatmyfriendshavewrittentohimtomakegoodtheirsideofthequestion.

But,withallmycourage,IamexceedinglyapprehensiveabouttheTuesdaynext,andaboutwhatmayresultfrommysteadfastness;forsteadfastIamsureIshallbe.Theyareresolved,Iamtold,totryeverymeanstoinducemetocomplywithwhattheyaredeterminedupon.AndIamresolvedtodoallIcantoavoidwhattheywouldforcemetodo.Adreadfulcontentionbetweenparentsandchild!--Eachhopingtoleavetheotherwithoutexcuse,whatevertheconsequencemaybe.

WhatcanIdo?Adviseme,mydear.Somethingisstrangelywrong



somewhere!tomakeparents,themostindulgenttillnow,seemcruelinachild'seye;andadaughter,tillwithinthesefewweeks,thoughtunexceptionablydutiful,appear,intheirjudgment,arebel!--Oh!myambitiousandviolentbrother!Whatmayhehavetoanswerfortoboth!

Bepleasedtoremember,mydear,thatyourlastfavourwasdatedonSaturday.ThisisWednesday:andnoneofminehavebeentakenawaysince.Don'tletmewantyouadvice.Mysituationisextremelydifficult.--ButIamsureyoulovemestill:andnotthelessonthataccount.Adieu,mybelovedfriend.

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYMORNING,DAY-BREAK,MARCH30.

Anaccident,andnotremissness,hasoccasionedmysilence.

MymotherwassentforonSundaynightbyhercousinLarkin,whomI

mentionedinoneofmyformer,andwhowasextremelyearnesttoseeher.

Thispoorwomanwasalwaysafraidofdeath,andwasoneofthoseweakpersonswhoimaginethatthemakingoftheirwillmustbeanundoubtedforerunnerofit.

Shehadalwayssaid,whenurgedtothenecessarywork,Thatwhenevershemadeit,sheshouldnotlivelongafter;and,onewouldthink,imaginedshewasunderanobligationtoproveherwords:for,thoughshehadbeenlongbed-rid,andwas,inamanner,wornoutbefore,yetshethoughtherselfbetter,tillshewaspersuadedtomakeit:andfromthatmoment,rememberingwhatsheusedtoprognosticate,(herfears,helpingonwhatshefeared,asisoftenthecase,particularlyinthesmall-pox,)grew

worse;andhaditinherheadoncetoburnherwill,inhopestogrowbetteruponit.

Shesentmymotherword,thatthedoctorshadgivenherover:butthatshecouldnotdietillshesawher.Itoldmymother,Thatifshewishedherachanceforrecovery,sheshouldnot,forthatreason,go.Butgoshewould;and,whatwasworse,wouldmakemegowithher;andthat,atanhour'swarning;forshesaidnothingofittome,tillshewasrisinginthemorningearly,resolvingtoreturnagainatnight.Hadtherebeenmoretimeforargumentation,tobesureIhadnotgone;butasitwas,therewasakindofnecessitythatmypreparationtoobeyher,should,inamanner,accompanyhercommand.--Acommandsomuchoutoftheway,onsuchasolemnoccasion!AndthisIrepresented:buttonopurpose:

Thereneverwassuchacontradictinggirlintheworld--Mywisdomalwaysmadeherafool!--Butshewouldbeobligedthistime,properorimproper.

Ihavebutonewayofaccountingforthissuddenwhimofmymother;andthatisthis--ShehadamindtoacceptofMr.Hickman'soffertoescorther:--andIverilybelieve[IwishIwerequitesureofit]hadamindtoobligehimwithmycompany--asfarasIknow,tokeepmeoutofworse.



For,wouldyoubelieveit?--assureasyouarealive,sheisafraidforherfavouriteHickman,becauseofthelongvisityourLovelace,thoughsomuchbyaccident,mademeinherabsence,lasttimeshewasatthesameplace.Ihope,mydear,youarenotjealoustoo.ButindeedInow-and-then,whensheteasesmewithpraiseswhichHickmancannotdeserve,inreturnfalltopraisingthosequalitiesandpersonalitiesinLovelace,whichtheotherneverwillhave.IndeedIdolovetoteasealittlebit,thatIdo.--Mymamma'sgirl--Ihadliketohavesaid.

Asyouknowsheisaspassionate,asIampert,youwillnotwondertobetold,thatwegenerallyfalloutontheseoccasions.Shefliesfromme,atthelongrun.Itwouldbeundutifulinmetoleaveherfirst--andthenIgetanopportunitytopursueourcorrespondence.

For,nowIamrambling,letmetellyou,thatshedoesnotmuchfavourthat;--fortworeasons,Ibelieve:--One,thatIdon'tshewherallthatpassesbetweenus;theother,thatshethinksIhardenyourmindagainstyourduty,asitiscalled.Andwithher,forareasonathome,asIhavehintedmorethanonce,parentscannotdowrong;childrencannotoppose,andberight.Thisobligesmenow-and-thentostealanhour,asImaysay,andnotletherknowhowIamemployed.

YoumayguessfromwhatIhavewritten,howaverseIwastocomplywithsuchanunreasonablestretchofmotherlyauthority.Butitcametobea

testofduty;soIwasobligedtoyield,thoughwithafullpersuasionofbeingintheright.

Ihavealwaysyourreproofsupontheseoccasions:inyourlatelettersstrongerthanever.Agoodreasonwhy,you'llsay,becausemoredeservedthanever.Ithankyoukindlyforyourcorrection.Ihopetomakecorrectionofit.Butletmetellyou,thatyourstripes,whetherdeservedornot,havemademesensible,deeperthantheskin--butofthisanothertime.

ItwasMondayafternoonbeforewereachedtheoldlady'shouse.Thatfiddling,paradingfellow[youknowwhoImean]madeuswaitforhimtwohours,andItogotoajourneyIdisliked!onlyforthesakeofhaving

alittlemoretawdryuponhishousings;whichhehadhurriedhissadlertoputon,tomakehimlookfine,beingtoescorthisdearMadamHowe,andherfairdaughter.Itoldhim,thatIsupposedhewasafraid,thatthedoublesolemnityinthecase(thatofthevisittoadyingwoman,andthatofhisowncountenance)wouldgivehimtheappearanceofanundertaker;toavoidwhich,heranintoasbadanextreme,andIdoubtedwouldbetakenforamountebank.

Themanwasconfounded.Hetookitasstrongly,asifhisconsciencegaveassenttothejusticeoftheremark:otherwisehewouldhaveborneitbetter;forheisusedenoughtothissortoftreatment.Ithoughthewouldhavecried.Ihaveheretoforeobserved,thatonthissideofthecontract,heseemstobeamightymeeksortofcreature.AndthoughI

shouldlikeitinhimhereafterperhaps,yetIcan'thelpdespisinghimalittleinmyheartforitnow.Ibelieve,mydear,weallloveyourblusteringfellowsbest;couldwebutdirectthebluster,andbiditroarwhenandatwhomwepleased.

Thepoormanlookedatmymother.Shewassoangry,(myairsuponit,andmyoppositiontothejourney,haveallhelped,)thatforhalfthewayshewouldnotspeaktome.Andwhenshedid,itwas,IwishIhadnotbroughtyou!Youknownotwhatitistocondescend.Itismyfault,notMr.Hickman's,thatyouareheresomuchagainstyourwill.Haveyou



noeyesforthissideofthechariot?

Andthenhefaredthebetterfromher,ashealwaysdoes,forfaringworsefromme:fortherewas,Howdoyounow,Sir?Andhowdoyounow,Mr.Hickman?asheamblednowonthissideofthechariot,nowonthat,stealingaprimlookatme;herheadhalfoutofthechariot,kindlysmiling,asifmarriedtothemanbutafortnightherself:whileIalwayssawsomethingtodivertmyselfonthesideofthechariotwherethehonestmanwasnot,wereitbutoldRobinatadistance,onhisroanKeffel.

Ourcourtship-days,theysay,areourbestdays.Favourdestroyscourtship.Distanceincreasesit.Itsessenceisdistance.And,toseehowfamiliarthesemen-wretchesgrowuponasmile,whatanawetheyarestruckintowhenwefrown;whowouldnotmakethemstandoff?Whowouldnotenjoyapower,thatistobeshort-lived?

Don'tchidemeonebitforthis,mydear.Itisinnature.Ican'thelpit.Nay,forthatmatter,Iloveit,andwishnottohelpit.Sospareyourgravity,Ibeseechyouonthissubject.Isetupnotforaperfectcharacter.Themanwillbearit.Andwhatneedyoucare?Mymotheroverbalancesallhesuffers:Andifhethinkshimselfunhappy,heoughtnevertobeotherwise.

Thendidhenotdeserveafitofthesullens,thinkyou,tomakeusloseourdinnerforhisparade,sinceinsoshortajourneymymotherwouldnotbait,andlosetheopportunityofcomingbackthatnight,hadtheoldlady'sconditionpermittedit?Tosaynothingofbeingthecause,thatmymammawasinthegloutwithherpoordaughteralltheway.

AtouralightingIgavehimanotherdab;butitwasbutalittleone.Yetthemanner,andtheair,madeup(asIintendedtheyshould)forthatdefect.Mymother'shandwaskindlyputintohis,withasimperingaltogetherbridal;andwithanotherHowdoyounow,Sir?--Allhisplumpmuscleswereinmotion,andadoublechargeofcareandobsequiousnessfidgeteduphiswholeform,whenheofferedtomehisofficiouspalm.Mymother,whenIwasagirl,alwaysbidmeholdupmyhead.Ijustthen

rememberedhercommands,andwasdutiful--Ineverheldupmyheadsohigh.Withanavertedsuperciliouseye,andarejectinghand,halfflourishing--Ihavenoneedofhelp,Sir!--Youareinmyway.

Heranback,asifonwheels;withafaceexcessivelymortified:Ihadthoughtselsetohavefollowedthetoo-gentletouch,withadeclaration,thatIhadasmanyhandsandfeetashimself.Butthiswouldhavebeentellinghimapieceofnews,astothelatter,thatIhopehehadnotthepresumptiontoguessat.

*****

Wefoundthepoorwoman,aswethought,atthelastgasp.Hadwecomesooner,wecouldnothavegotawayasweintended,thatnight.YouseeIamforexcusingthemanallIcan;andyet,Iassureyou,Ihavenotsomuchasaconditionallikingtohim.Mymothersatupmostpartofthenight,expectingeveryhourwouldhavebeenherpoorcousin'slast.Iborehercompanytilltwo.

Ineversawtheapproachesofdeathinagrownpersonbefore;andwasextremelyshocked.Death,tooneinhealth,isaveryterriblething.We



pitythepersonforwhatshesuffers:andwepityourselvesforwhatwemustsometimehenceinlikesortsuffer;andsoaredoublyaffected.

SheheldouttillTuesdaymorning,eleven.Asshehadtoldmymotherthatshehadleftheranexecutrix,andherandmeringsandmourning;wewereemployedallthatdayinmattersofthewill[bywhich,bytheway,myowncousinJennyFynnettishandsomelyprovidedfor],sothatitwasWednesdaymorningearly,beforewecouldsetoutonourreturn.

Itistrue,wegothome(havingnohousingstostayfor)bynoon:butthoughIsentRobinawaybeforehedismounted,(whobroughtmebackawholepacket,downtothesameWednesdaynoon,)yetwasIreallysofatigued,andshocked,asImustown,attheharddeathoftheoldlady;mymotherlikewise(whohasnoreasontodislikethisworld)beingindisposedfromthesameoccasion;thatIcouldnotsetaboutwritingtimeenoughforRobin'sreturnthatnight.

Buthavingrecruitedmyspirits,mymotherhavingalsohadagoodnight,Iarosewiththedawn,towritethis,andgetitdispatchedtimeenoughforyourbreakfastairing;thatyoursuspensemightbeasshortaspossible.

*****

Iwillsoonfollowthiswithanother.IwillemployapersondirectlytofindouthowLovelacebehaveshimselfathisinn.Suchabusyspiritmustbetraceable.

But,perhaps,mydear,youareindifferentnowabouthim,orhisemployments;forthisrequestwasmadebeforehemortallyoffendedyou.Nevertheless,Iwillhaveinquirymade.Theresult,itisveryprobable,willbeofusetoconfirmyouinyourpresentunforgivingtemper.--Andyet,ifthepoorman[shallIpityhimforyou,mydear?]shouldbedeprivedofthegreatestblessinganymanonearthcanreceive,andtowhichhehasthepresumption,withsolittlemerit,toaspire;hewill

haverungreatrisks;caughtgreatcolds;hazardedfevers;sustainedthehighestindignities;bravedtheinclemenciesofskies,andallfor--nothing!--Willnotthismoveyourgenerosity(ifnothingelse)inhisfavour!--PoorMr.Lovelace--!

Iwouldoccasionnothrob;norhalf-throb;noflashofsensibility,likelightningdartingin,andassoonsuppressedbyadiscretionthatnooneofthesexeverbeforecouldgivesuchanexampleof--Iwouldnot,Isay;andyet,forsuchatrialofyoutoyourself,ratherthanasanimpertinentoverflowofrailleryinyourfriend,asmoney-takerstryasuspectedguineabythesound,letmeonsuchasupposition,soundyou,byrepeating,poorMr.Lovelace!

Andnow,mydear,howisitwithyou?Howdoyounow,asmymothersaystoMr.Hickman,whenherpertdaughterhasmadehimlooksorrowful?

LETTERXXII

MR.HICKMAN,TOMRS.HOWEWEDNESDAY,MARCH29.



MADAM,

ItiswithinfiniteregretthatIthinkmyselfobliged,bypenandink,torepeatmyapprehension,thatitisimpossibleformeevertoobtainashareintheaffectionsofyourbeloveddaughter.Othatitwerenottooevidenttoeveryone,aswellastomyself,eventoourveryservants,thatmyloveforher,andmyassiduities,exposemerathertoherscorn[forgiveme,Madam,thehardword!]thantothetreatmentduetoamanwhoseproposalshavemetwithyourapprobation,andwholovesheraboveallthewomenintheworld!

Wellmightthemeritofmypassionbedoubted,if,likeMr.Solmestothetruly-admirablyMissClarissaHarlowe,IcouldcontinuemyaddressestoMissHowe'sdistaste.Yetwhatwillnotthediscontinuancecostme!

Givemeleave,nevertheless,dearest,worthiestLady,torepeat,whatItoldyou,onMondaynight,atMrs.Larkin's,withaheartevenburstingwithgrief,ThatIwantednotthetreatmentofthatdaytoconvinceme,thatIamnot,norevercanbe,theobjectofMissHowe'svoluntaryfavour.Whathopescantherebe,thataladywilleveresteem,asahusband,theman,whom,asalover,shedespises?Willnoteveryactofobligingnessfromsuchaone,beconstruedasanunmanlytamenessofspirit,andentitlehimthemoretoherdisdain?--Myheartisfull:

Forgiveme,ifIsay,thatMissHowe'streatmentofmedoesnocrediteithertohereducation,orfinesense.

Since,then,itistooevident,thatshecannotesteemme;andsince,asIhavehearditjustlyobservedbytheexcellentMissClarissaHarlowe,thatloveisnotavoluntarypassion;woulditnotbeungeneroustosubjectthedeardaughtertothedispleasureofamothersojustlyfondofher;andyou,Madam,whileyouaresogoodastointerestyourselfinmyfavour,touneasiness?Andwhy,wereIeventobesure,atlast,ofsucceedingbymeansofyourkindpartialitytome,shouldIwishtomakethebest-belovedofmysoulunhappy;sincemutualmustbeourhappiness,ormiseryforlifetheconsequencetoboth?

Mybestwisheswillforeverattendthedear,theever-dearlady!mayhernuptialsbehappy!theymustbeso,ifshemarrythemanshecanhonourwithherlove.YetIwillsay,thatwhoeverbethehappy,thethrice-happyman,hecanneverloveherwithapassionmoreardentandmoresincerethanmine.

Accept,dearMadam,ofmymostgratefulthanksforadistinctionthathasbeentheonlysupportofmypresumptioninanaddressIamobliged,asutterlyhopeless,todiscontinue.Adistinction,onwhich(andnotonmyownmerits)Ihadentirelyrelied;butwhich,Ifind,canavailmenothing.Tothelasthourofmylife,itwillgivemepleasuretothink,thathadyourfavour,yourrecommendation,beenofsufficientweighttoconquerwhatseemstobeaninvincibleaversion,Ihadbeenthehappiest

ofmen.

Iam,dearMadam,withinviolablerespect,youreverobligedandfaithfulhumbleservant,CHARLESHICKMAN.

LETTERXXIII



MRS.HOWE,TOCHARLESHICKMAN,ESQ.THURSDAY,MARCH30.

Icannotbutsay,Mr.Hickman,butyouhavecausetobedissatisfied--tobeoutofhumour--tobedispleased--withNancy--but,uponmyword;butindeed--WhatshallIsay?--YetthisIwillsay,thatyougoodyounggentlemenknownothingatallofoursex.ShallItellyou--butwhyshouldI?AndyetIwill,thatifNancydidnotthinkwellofyouuponthemain,sheistoogeneroustotreatyousofreelyasshedoes.--Don'tyouthinkshehascourageenoughtotellme,shewouldnotseeyou,andtorefuseatanytimeseeingyou,assheknowsonwhataccountyoucome,ifshehadnotsomethinginherheadfavourabletoyou?--Fie!thatIamforcedtosaythusmuchinwriting,whenIhavehintedittoyoutwentyandtwentytimesbywordofmouth!

Butifyouaresoindifferent,Mr.Hickman--ifyouthinkyoucanpartwithherforherskittishtricks--ifmyinterestinyourfavour--Why,Mr.Hickman,ImusttellyouthatmyNancyisworthbearingwith.Ifshebefoolish--whatisthatowingto?--Isitnottoherwit?Letmetellyou,Sir,youcannothavetheconveniencewithouttheinconvenience.Whatworkmanlovesnotasharptooltoworkwith?Butistherenotmoredangerfromasharptoolthanfromabluntone?Andwhatworkmanwillthrowawayasharptool,becauseitmaycuthisfingers?Witmaybelikenedtoasharptool.Andthereissomethingveryprettyinwit,let

metellyou.OftenandoftenhaveIbeenforcedtosmileatherarchturnsuponme,whenIcouldhavebeatherforthem.And,pray,don'tIbearagreatdealfromher?--Andwhy?becauseIloveher.Andwouldyounotwishmetojudgeofyourloveforherbymyown?Andwouldnotyoubearwithher?--Don'tyouloveher(whatthoughwithanothersortoflove?)aswellasIdo?Idoassureyou,Sir,thatifIthoughtyoudidnot--Well,butitisplainthatyoudon't!--Andisitplainthatyoudon't?--Well,then,youmustdoasyouthinkbest.

Wellmightthemeritofyourpassionbedoubted,yousay,if,likeMr.Solmes--fiddle-faddle!--Why,youareacaptiousman,Ithink!--HasNancybeensoplaininherrepulsesofyouasMissClaryHarlowehasbeentoMr.Solmes?--DoesNancyloveanymanbetterthanyou,althoughshemay

notshewsomuchlovetoyouasyouwishfor?--Ifshedid,letmetellyou,shewouldhaveletusallhearofit.--Whatidlecomparisonsthen!

Butitmatbeyouaretiredout.Itmaybeyouhaveseensomebodyelse--itmaybeyouwouldwishtochangemistresseswiththatgaywretchMr.Lovelace.Itmaybetoo,that,inthatcase,Nancywouldnotbesorrytochangelovers--Thetruly-admirableMissClarissaHarlowe!--Goodlack!-buttakecare,Mr.Hickman,thatyoudonotpraiseanywomanliving,letherbeasadmirableandasexcellentasshewill,aboveyourownmistress.Nopolitemanwilldothat,surely.Andtakecaretoo,thatyoudonotmakeherormethinkyouareinearnestinyouranger--justthoughitmaybe,asangeronly--Iwouldnotforathousandpounds,thatNancyshouldknowthatyoucansoeasilypartwithher,if

youhavetheloveforherwhichyoudeclareyouhave.Besure,ifyouarenotabsolutelydetermined,thatyoudonotsomuchaswhisperthecontentsofthisyourlettertoyourownheart,asImaysay.

Hertreatmentofyou,yousay,doesnocrediteithertohereducationorfinesense.Veryhomeput,truly!Nevertheless,sosayI.Butisnothersthedisgrace,morethanyours?Icanassureyou,thateverybodyblamesherforit.Andwhydotheyblameher?--Why?becausetheythinkyoumeritbettertreatmentatherhands:Andisnotthistoyourcredit?Whobutpitiesyou,andblameshe?Dotheservants,who,asyouobserve,



seeherskittishairs,disrespectyouforthem?Dotheynot,atsuchtimes,lookconcernedforyou?Aretheynotthendoublyofficiousintheirrespectsandservicestoyou?--Ihaveobserved,withpleasure,thattheyare.

Butyouareafraidyoushallbethoughttame,perhaps,whenmarried.Thatyoushallnotbethoughmanlyenough,Iwarrant!--AndthiswaspoorMr.Howe'sfear.Andmanyatugdidthislordlyfearcostusboth,Godknows!--Manymorethanneeded,Iamsure:--andmorethanoughttohavebeen,hadheknownhowtobearandforbear;asisthedutyofthosewhopretendtohavemostsense--And,pray,whichwouldyouhavetohavemostsense,thewomanortheman?

Well,Sir,andnowwhatremains,ifyoureallyloveNancysowellasyousayyoudo?--Why,Ileavethattoyou.Youmay,ifyouplease,cometobreakfastwithmeinthemorning.Butwithnofullheart,norresentinglooks,Iadviseyou;exceptyoucanbraveitout.ThathaveI,whenprovoked,donemanyatimewithmyhusband,butneverdidIgetanythingbyitwithmydaughter:muchlesswillyou.Ofwhich,foryourobservation,Ithoughtfittoadviseyou.Asfrom

Yourfriend,AnabellaHowe.

LETTERXXIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYMORNING.

Iwillnowtakesomenoticeofyourlastfavour.Butbeingsofarbehind-handwithyou,mustbebrief.

Inthefirstplace,astoyourreproofs,thusshallIdischargemyselfofthatpartofmysubject.Isitlikely,thinkyou,thatIshouldavoiddeservingthemnow-and-then,occasionally,whenIadmirethemannerin

whichyougivemeyourrebukes,andloveyouthebetterforthem?Andwhenyouaresowellentitledtogivethem?Forwhatfaultscanyoupossiblyhave,unlessyourrelationsaresokindastofindyouafewtokeeptheirmanyincountenance?--Buttheyareaskingtomeinthis,astoyou;forImayventuretoaffirm,Thatanyonewhoshouldreadyourletters,andwouldsayyouwereright,wouldnotonreadingmine,condemnmeforthemquitewrong.

Yourresolutionnottoleaveyourfather'shouseisright--ifyoucanstayinit,andavoidbeingSolmes'swife.

IthinkyouhaveansweredSolmes'sletter,asIshouldhaveansweredit.--Willyounotcomplimentmeandyourselfatonce,bysaying,that

wasright?

Youhave,inyourletterstoyouruncleandtherest,doneallthatyououghttodo.Youarewhollyguiltlessoftheconsequence,beitwhatitwill.Tooffertogiveupyourestate!--ThatwouldnotIhavedone!Youseethisofferstaggeredthem:theytooktimetoconsiderofit.Theymademyheartacheinthetimetheytook.Iwasafraidtheywouldhavetakenyouatyourword:andso,butforshame,andforfearofLovelace,Idaresaytheywould.Youaretoonobleforthem.This,Irepeat,isanofferIwouldnothavemade.Letmebegofyou,mydear,nevertorepeat



thetemptationtothem.

Ifreelyowntoyou,thattheirusageofyouuponit,andLovelace'sdifferenttreatmentofyou*inhisletterreceivedatthesametime,wouldhavemademehis,pastredemption.Theducetaketheman,Iwasgoingtosay,fornothavingsomuchregardtohischaracterandmorals,aswouldhaveentirelyjustifiedsuchastepinaCLARISSA,persecutedassheis!

*SeeLetterXVIII.

Iwondernotatyourappointmentwithhim.Imayfurthertouchuponsomepartofthissubjectby-and-by.

Pray--pray--Iprayyounow,mydearestfriend,contrivetosendyourBettyBanestome!--DoestheCoventryActextendtowomen,knowye?--TheleastIwilldo,shallbe,tosendherhomewellsousedinanddraggedthroughourdeepesthorsepond.I'llengage,ifIgetherhither,thatshewillkeeptheanniversaryofherdeliveranceaslongasshelives.

IwondernotatLovelace'ssaucyanswer,saucyasitreallyis.*Ifhelovesyouasheought,hemustbevexedatsogreatadisappointment.

Themanmusthavebeenadetestablehypocrite,Ithink,hadhenotshownhisvexation.Yourexpectationsofsuchachristiancommandoftemperinhim,inadisappointmentofthisnatureespecially,aretooearlybyalmosthalfacenturyinamanofhisconstitution.ButneverthelessIamveryfarfromblamingyouforyourresentment.

*SeeLetterXX.

Ishallbeallimpatiencetoknowhowthismatterendsbetweenyouandhim.Butafewinchesofbrickwallbetweenyousolately;andnowsuchmountains?--Andyouthinktoholdit?--Maybeso!

Yousee,yousay,thatthetemperheshewedinhisletterwasnotnaturaltohim.Wretchedcreepersandinsinuators!Yetwhenopportunityserves,asinsolentencroachers!--ThisveryHickman,Imakenodoubt,wouldbeassaucyasyourLovelace,ifhedared.Hehasnothalfthearrogantbraveryoftheother,andcanbetterhidehishorns;that'sall.Butwheneverhehasthepower,dependuponit,hewillbuttatoneasvaliantlyastheother.

IfeverIshouldbepersuadedtohavehim,Ishallwatchhowtheobsequiouslovergoesoff;andhowtheimperativehusbandcomesuponhim;inshort,howheascends,andhowIdescend,inthematrimonialwheel,nevertotakemyturnagain,butbyfitsandstartslikethe

feeblestrugglesofasinkingstateforitsdyingliberty.

Allgood-naturedmenarepassionate,saysMr.Lovelace.Aprettypleatoabelovedobjectintheplenitudeofherpower!Asmuchastosay,'GreatlyIvalueyou,Madam,Iwillnottakepainstocurbmypassionstoobligeyou'--MethinksIshouldbegladtohearfromMr.Hickmansuchapleaforgoodnatureasthis.

Indeed,wearetooapttomakeallowancesforsuchtempersasearlyindulgencehasmadeuncontroulable;andthereforehabituallyevil.But



ifaboisteroustemper,whenunderobligation,istobethusallowedfor,what,whenthetablesareturned,willitexpect?Youknowahusband,who,Ifancy,hadsomeoftheseearlyallowancesmadeforhim:andyouseethatneitherhimselfnoranybodyelseisthehappierforit.

Thesuitingofthetempersoftwopersonswhoaretocometogether,isagreatmatter:andthereshouldbeboundariesfixedbetweenthem,byconsentasitwere,beyondwhichneithershouldgo:andeachshouldholdtheothertoit;ortherewouldprobablybeencroachmentinboth.Toillustratemyassertionbyaveryhigh,andbyamoremanly(assomewouldthinkit)thanwomanlyinstance--iftheboundariesofthethreeestatesthatconstituteourpoliticalunionwerenotknown,andoccasionallyasserted,whatwouldbecomeoftheprerogativesandprivilegesofeach?Thetwobranchesofthelegislaturewouldencroachuponeachother;andtheexecutivepowerwouldswallowupboth.

Butiftwopersonsofdiscretion,you'llsay,cometogether--

Ay,mydear,that'strue:but,ifnonebutpersonsofdiscretionweretomarry--AndwoulditnotsurpriseyouifIweretoadvance,thatthepersonsofdiscretionaregenerallysingle?--Suchpersonsareapttoconsidertoomuch,toresolve.--ArenotyouandIcomplimentedassuch?--Andwouldeitherofusmarry,ifthefellowsandourfriends

wouldletusalone?

Buttotheformerpoint;--hadLovelacemadehisaddressestome,(unlessindeedIhadbeentakenwithalikingforhimmorethanconditional,)Iwouldhaveforbidhim,uponthefirstpassionateinstanceofhisgood-nature,ashecallsit,evertoseememore:'Thoumustbearwithme,honestfriend,mightIhavesaid[hadIcondescendedtosayanythingtohim]anhundredtimesmorethanthis:--Begone,therefore!--Ibearwithnopassionsthatarepredominanttothatthouhaspretendedforme!'

Buttooneofyourmildandgentletemper,itwouldbeallone,wereyoumarried,whetherthemanwereaLovelaceoraHickmaninhis

spirit.--Youaresoobedientlyprincipled,thatperhapsyouwouldhavetoldamildman,thathemustnotentreat,butcommand;andthatitwasbeneathhimnottoexactfromyoutheobedienceyouhadsosolemnlyvowedtohimatthealtar.--Iknowofold,mydear,yourmeekregardtothatlittlepiddlingpartofthemarriage-vowwhichsomeprerogative-mongerfoistedintotheoffice,tomakethataduty,whichheknewwasnotaright.

Ourwayoftraining-up,yousay,makesusneedtheprotectionofthebrave.Verytrue:Andhowextremelybraveandgallantisit,thatthisbravemanwillfreeusfromallinsultsbutthosewhichwillgonearesttoourhearts;thatistosay,hisown!

HowartfullyhasLovelace,intheabstractyougivemeofoneofhisletters,calculatedtoyourmeridian!Generousspiritshatecompulsion!--Heiscertainlyadeepercreaturebymuchthanoncewethoughthim.Heknows,asyouintimate,thathisownwildprankscannotbeconcealed:andsoownsjustenoughtopalliate(becauseitteachesyounottobesurprisedat)anynewone,thatmaycometoyourears;andthen,truly,heis,howeverfaulty,amightyingenuousman;andbynomeansanhypocrite:acharacterthemostodiousofallothers,tooursex,inalover,andtheleasttobeforgiven,wereitonlybecause,whendetected,itmakesusdoubtthejusticeofthosepraiseswhichwe



arewillingtobelievehethoughttobeourdue.

Bymeansofthissupposedingenuity,Lovelaceobtainsapraise,insteadofameriteddispraise;and,likeanabsolvedconfessionaire,wipesoffashegoesalongonescore,tobeginanother:foraneyefavourabletohimwillnotseehisfaultsthroughamagnifyingglass;norwillawoman,willingtohopethebest,forbeartoimputeittoill-willandprejudiceallthatcharitycanmakesoimputable.Andifsheevengivecredittosuchoftheunfavourableimputationsasmaybetooflagranttobedoubted,shewillbeveryapttotakeinthefuturehope,whichheinculcates,andwhichtoquestionwouldbetoquestionherownpower,andperhapsmerit:andthusmayawomanbeinclinedtomakeaslight,evenafanciedmeritatoneforthemostglaringvice.

Ihaveareason,anewone,forthispreachmentuponatextyouhavegivenme.But,tillIambetterinformed,Iwillnotexplainmyself.Ifitcomeout,asIshrewdlysuspectitwill,theman,mydear,isadevil;andyoumustratherthinkof--IprotestIhadliketohavesaidSolmesthanhim.

Butletthisbeasitwill,shallItellyou,how,afterallhisoffences,hemaycreepinwithyouagain?

Iwill.Thusthen:Itisbuttoclaimforhimselfthegood-natured

character:andthis,granted,willblotoutthefaultofpassionateinsolence:andsohewillhavenothingtodo,butthishourtoaccustomyoutoinsult;thenext,tobringyoutoforgivehim,uponhissubmission:theconsequencemustbe,thathewill,bythisteazing,breakyourresentmentalltopieces:andthen,alittlemoreoftheinsult,andalittlelessofthesubmission,onhispart,willgodown,tillnothingelsebutthefirstwillbeseen,andnotabitofthesecond.Youwillthenbeafraidtoprovokesooffensiveaspirit:andatlastwillbebroughtsoprettily,andsoaudibly,topronouncethelittlereptilewordOBEY,thatitwilldoone'sheartgoodtohearyou.TheMuscovitewifethentakesplaceofthemanagedmistress.Andifyoudoubttheprogression,bepleased,mydear,totakeyourmother'sjudgmentuponit.

Butnomoreofthisjustnow.Yoursituationisbecometoocriticaltopermitmetodwelluponthesesortoftopics.Andyetthisisbutanaffectedlevitywithme.Myheart,asIhaveheretoforesaid,isasinceresharerinallyourdistresses.Mysun-shinedartsbutthroughadrizlycloud.Myeye,wereyoutoseeit,whenitseemstoyousogladdened,asyoumentionedinaformer,ismorethanreadytooverflow,evenattheverypassagesperhapsuponwhichyouimputetomethearchnessofexultation.

Butnowtheunheard-ofcrueltyandperversenessofsomeofyourfriends[relations,Ishouldsay--Iamalwaysblunderingthus!]theasstrangedeterminednessofothers;yourpresentquarrelwithLovelace;andyour

approachinginterviewwithSolmes,fromwhichyouarerighttoapprehendagreatdeal;aresuchconsiderablecircumstancesinyourstory,thatitisfittheyshouldengrossallmyattention.

YouaskmetoadviseyouhowtobehaveuponSolmes'svisit.Icannotformylife.Iknowtheyexpectagreatdealfromit:youhadnotelsehadyourlongdaycompliedwith.AllIwillsayis,ThatifSolmescannotbeprevailedfor,nowthatLovelacehassomuchoffendedyou,heneverwill.Whentheinterviewisover,IdoubtnotbutthatIshallhavereasontosay,thatallyoudid,thatallyousaid,wasright,andcould



notbebetter:yet,ifIdon'tthinkso,Iwon'tsayso;thatIpromiseyou.

Onlyletmeadviseyoutopullupaspirit,eventoyouruncle,iftherebeoccasion.Resentthevileandfoolishtreatmentyoumeetwith,inwhichhehastakensolargeashare,andmakehimashamedofit,ifyoucan.

Iknownot,uponrecollection,butthisinterviewmaybeagoodthingforyou,howeverdesigned.ForwhenSolmessees(ifthatbetobeso)thatitisimpossibleheshouldsucceedwithyou;andyourrelationsseeittoo;theonemust,Ithink,recede,andtheothercometotermswithyou,uponoffers,thatitismyopinion,willgohardenoughwithyoutocomplywith;whenthestillharderaredispensedwith.

Thereareseveralpassagesinyourlastletters,aswellasinyourformer,whichauthorizemetosaythis.Butitwouldbeunseasonabletotouchthissubjectfartherjustnow.

But,uponthewhole,Ihavenopatiencetoseeyouthusmadesportofyourbrother'sandsister'scruelty:Forwhat,aftersomuchsteadinessonyourpart,insomanytrials,canbetheirhope?exceptindeeditbetodriveyoutoextremity,andtoruinyouintheopinionofyourunclesaswellasfather.

Iurgeyoubyallmeanstosendoutoftheirreachallthelettersandpapersyouwouldnothavethemsee.Methinks,Iwouldwishyoutodepositlikewiseaparcelofclothes,linen,andthelike,beforeyourinterviewwithSolmes:lestyoushouldnothaveanopportunityforitafterwards.Robinshallfetchitawayonthefirstordersbydayorbynight.

Iaminhopestoprocurefrommymother,ifthingscometoextremity,leaveforyoutobeprivatelywithus.

Iwillconditiontobegood-humoured,andevenkind,toHERfavourite,ifshewillshewmeanindulgencethatshallmakemeserviceableto

MINE.

Thisalternativehasbeenagoodwhileinmyhead.Butasyourfoolishunclehassostrangelyattachedmymothertotheirviews,IcannotpromisethatIshallsucceedasIwish.

Donotabsolutelydespair,however.Whatthoughthecontentionwillbebetweenwomanandwoman?IfancyIshallbeabletomanageit,bythehelpofalittlefemaleperseverance.YourquarrelwithLovelace,ifitcontinue,willstrengthenmyhands.AndtheoffersyoumadeinyouranswertoyouruncleHarlowe'sletterofSundaynightlast,dulydweltupon,mustaddforcetomypleas.

Idependuponyourforgivenessofalltheperhapsunseasonableflippanciesofyournaturallytoolively,yetmostsincerelysympathizing,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,MARCH31.



Youhaveverykindlyaccountedforyoursilence.Peopleinmisfortunearealwaysindoubt.Theyaretooapttoturnevenunavoidableaccidentsintoslightsandneglects;especiallyinthosewhosefavourableopiniontheywishtopreserve.

IamsureIoughtevermoretoexemptmyAnnaHowefromthesupposedpossibilityofherbecomingoneofthosewhobaskonlyinthesun-shineofafriend:butneverthelessherfriendshipistooprecioustome,nottodoubtmyownmeritsontheonehand,andnottobeanxiousforthepreservationofit,ontheother.

Yousogenerouslygavemelibertytochideyou,thatIamafraidoftakingit,becauseIcouldsoonermistrustmyownjudgment,thanthatofabelovedfriend,whoseingenuousnessinacknowledginganimputederrorseemstosetherabovethecommissionofawilfulone.Thismakesmehalf-afraidtoaskyou,ifyouthinkyouarenottoocruel,tooungenerousshallIsay?inyourbehaviourtoamanwholovesyousodearly,andissoworthyandsosincereaman?

OnlyitisbyYOU,orIshouldbeashamedtobeoutdoneinthattruemagnanimity,whichmakesonethankfulforthewoundsgivenbyatruefriend.IbelieveIwasguiltyofapetulance,whichnothingbutmy

uneasysituationcanexcuse;ifthatcan.Iambutalmostafraidtobegofyou,andyetIrepeatedlydo,togivewaytothatcharmingspirit,wheneveritrisestoyourpen,whichsmiles,yetgoestothequickofmyfault.Whatpatientshallbeafraidofaprobeinsodelicateahand?--Isay,Iamalmostafraidtoprayyoutogivewaytoit,forfearyoushould,forthatveryreason,restrainit.Fortheedgemaybetakenoff,ifitdoesnotmakethesubjectofitsraillerywincealittle.Permittedordesiredsatiremaybeapt,inageneroussatirist,mendingasitrallies,toturntoosoonintopanegyric.Yoursisintendedtoinstruct;andthoughitbites,itpleasesatthesametime:nofearofawound'swranklingorfesteringbysodelicateapointasyoucarry;notenvenomedbypersonality,notintendingtoexpose,orridicule,orexasperate.Themostadmiredofourmodernsknownothingofthisart:

Why?Becauseitmustbefoundedingoodnature,anddirectedbyarightheart.Theman,notthefault,isgenerallythesubjectoftheirsatire:andwereittobejust,howshoulditbeuseful;howshoulditansweranygoodpurpose;wheneverygash(fortheirweaponisabroadsword,notalancet)letsintheairofpublicridicule,andexasperateswhereitshouldheal?SparemenotthereforebecauseIamyourfriend.Forthatveryreasonsparemenot.Imayfeelyouredge,fineasitis.Imaybepained:youwouldloseyouendifIwerenot:butafterthefirstsensibility(asIhavesaidmorethanoncebefore)Iwillloveyouthebetter,andmyamendedheartshallbeallyours;anditwillthenbemoreworthytobeyours.

Youhavetaughtmewhattosayto,andwhattothinkof,Mr.Lovelace.

Youhave,byagreeableanticipation,letmeknowhowitisprobablehewillapplytometobeexcused.Iwilllayeverythingbeforeyouthatshallpassontheoccasion,ifhedoapply,thatImaytakeyouradvice,whenitcancomeintime;andwhenitcannot,thatImayreceiveyourcorrection,orapprobation,asImayhappentomeriteither.--Onlyonethingmustbeallowedforme;thatwhatevercourseIshallbepermittedorbeforcedtosteer,Imustbeconsideredasapersonoutofherowndirection.Tosttoandfrobythehighwindsofpassionatecontroul,(and,asIthink,unseasonableseverity,)Ibeholdthedesiredport,thesinglestate,intowhichIwouldfainsteer;butamkeptoffby



thefoamingbillowsofabrother'sandsister'senvy,andbytheragingwindsofasupposedinvadedauthority;whileIseeinLovelace,therocksononehand,andinSolmes,thesandsontheother;andtremble,lestIshouldsplitupontheformer,orstrikeuponthelatter.

Butyou,mybetterpilot,towhatacharminghopedoyoubidmeaspire,ifthingscometoextremity!--Iwillnot,asyoucautionme,toomuchdependuponyoursuccesswithyourmotherinmyfavour;forwellIknowherhighnotionsofimplicitdutyinachild:butyetIwillhopetoo;becauseherseasonableprotectionmaysavemeperhapsfromagreaterrashness:andinthiscase,sheshalldirectmeinallmyways:Iwilldonothingbutbyherorders,andbyheradviceandyours:notseeanybody:notwritetoanybody:norshallanylivingsoul,butbyherdirectionandyours,knowwhereIam.Inanycottageplaceme,Iwillneverstirout,unless,disguisedasyourservant,Iamnow-and-thenpermittedanevening-walkwithyou:andthisprivateprotectiontobegrantedfornolongertimethantillmycousinMordencomes;which,asIhope,cannotbelong.

IamafraidImustnotventuretotakethehintyougiveme,todepositsomeofmyclothes;althoughIwillsomeofmylinen,aswellaspapers.

Iwilltellyouwhy--Bettyhadforsometimebeenverycuriousaboutmywardrobe,wheneverItookoutanyofmythingsbeforeher.

Observingthis,Ionce,ontakingoneofmygarden-airings,leftmykeysinthelocks:andonmyreturnsurprisedthecreaturewithherhanduponthekeys,asifshuttingthedoor.

Shewasconfoundedatmysuddencomingback.Itooknonotice:butonherretiring,Ifoundmycloathswerenotintheusualorder.

Idoubtednot,uponthis,thathercuriositywasowingtotheordersshehadreceived;andbeingafraidtheywouldabridgemeofmyairings,iftheirsuspicionswerenotobviated,ithaseversincebeenmycustom(amongothercontrivances)notonlytoleavemykeysinthelocks,buttoemploythewenchnow-and-thenintakingoutmycloaths,suitbysuit,

onpretenceofpreventingtheirbeingrumpledorcreased,andtoseethatthefloweredsilversuitdidnottarnish:sometimesdeclaredlytogivemyselfemployment,havinglittleelsetodo.Withwhichemployment(superaddedtothedelighttakenbythelowaswellasbythehighofoursexinseeingfinecloaths)sheseemedalways,Ithought,aswellpleasedasifitansweredoneoftheofficesshehadincharge.

Tothis,andtotheconfidencetheyhaveinaspysodiligent,andtotheirknowingthatIhavenotoneconfidantinafamilyinwhichneverthelessIbelieveeveryservantlovesme;norhaveattemptedtomakeone;Isuppose,IowethefreedomIenjoyofmyairings:andperhaps(findingImakenomovementstowardsgoingaway)theyarethemoresecure,thatIshallatlastbeprevailedupontocomplywith

theirmeasures:sincetheymustthink,that,otherwise,theygivemeprovocationenoughtotakesomerashstep,inordertofreemyselffromatreatmentsodisgraceful;andwhich[Godforgiveme,ifIjudgeamiss!]Iamafraidmybrotherandsisterwouldnotbesorrytodrivemetotake.

If,therefore,suchastepshouldbecomenecessary,(whichIyethopewillnot,)ImustbecontentedtogoawaywiththeclothesIshallhaveonatthetime.Mycustomtobedressedfortheday,assoonasbreakfastisover,whenIhavehadnohouseholdemploymentstoprevent



me,willmakesuchastep(ifIamforcedtotakeit)lesssuspected.AndthelinenIshalldeposit,inpursuanceofyourkindhint,cannotbemissed.

Thiscustom,althoughaprisoner,(asImaytootrulysay,)andneithervisitednorvisiting,Icontinue.Weowetoourselves,andtooursex,youknow,tobealwaysneat;andnevertobesurprisedinawayweshouldbepainedtobeseenin.

Besides,peopleinadversity(whichisthestateoftrialofeverygoodquality)shouldendeavourtopreservelaudablecustoms,that,ifsunshinereturn,theymaynotbelosersbytheirtrial.

Doesitnot,moreover,manifestafirmnessofmind,inanunhappyperson,tokeephopealive?Tohopeforbetterdays,ishalftodeservethem:forcouldwehavejustgroundforsuchahope,ifwedidnotresolvetodeservewhatthathopebidsusaspireto?--Thenwhoshallbefriendapersonwhoforsakesherself?

ThesearereflectionsbywhichIsometimesendeavourtosupportmyself.

Iknowyoudon'tdespisemygraveairs,although(withaviewnodoubttoirradiatemymindinmymisfortunes)yourallymeuponthem.Everybodyhasnotyourtalentofintroducingseriousandimportantlessons,

insuchahappymannerasatoncetodelightandinstruct.

Whatamultitudeofcontrivancesmaynotyoungpeoplefallupon,ifthemindbenotengagedbyactsofkindnessandcondescension!IamnotusedbymyfriendsoflateasIalwaysusedtheirservants.

WhenIwasintrustedwiththefamily-management,Ialwaysfounditright,aswellinpolicyasgenerosity,toreposeatrustinthem.Nottoseemtoexpectordependuponjusticefromthem,isinamannertobidthemtotakeopportunities,whenevertheyoffer,tobeunjust.

Mr.Solmes,(toexpatiateonthislow,butnotunusefulsubject,)inhismoretriflingsolicitudes,wouldhavehadasorrykey-keeperinme.Were

Imistressofafamily,Iwouldnoteithertaketomyself,orgivetoservants,thepainofkeepingthoseIhadreasontosuspect.Peoplelowinstationhaveoftenmindsnotsordid.Nay,Ihavesometimesthought,that(eventakenumberfornumber)therearemorehonestlowpeople,thanhonesthigh.Intheone,honestistheirchiefpride.Intheother,theloveofpower,ofgrandeur,ofpleasure,mislead;andthatandtheirambitioninduceaparamountpride,whichtoooftenswallowsupthemorelaudableone.

Manyoftheformerwouldscorntodeceiveaconfidence.ButIhaveseen,amongthemostignorantoftheirclass,asusceptibilityofresentment,iftheirhonestyhasbeensuspected:andhavemorethanoncebeenforcedtoputaservantright,whomIhaveheardsay,that,althoughshevalued

herselfuponherhonesty,nomasterormistressshouldsuspectherfornothing.

HowfarhasthecomparisonIhadinmyhead,betweenmyfriendstreatmentofme,andmytreatmentoftheservants,carriedme!--Butwealwaysallowedourselvestoexpatiateonsuchsubjects,whetherloworhigh,asmighttendtoenlargeourminds,ormendourmanagement,whethernotionalorpractical,andwhethersuchexpatiatingrespectedourpresent,ormightrespectourprobablefuturesituations.



WhatIwasprincipallyleadingto,wastotellyouhowingeniousIaminmycontrivancesandpretencestoblindmygaoleress,andtotakeoffthejealousyofherprincipalsonmygoingdownsooftenintothegardenandpoultry-yard.PeoplesuspiciouslytreatedareneverIbelieveatalossforinvention.SometimesIwantair,andambetterthemomentIamoutofmychamber.--Sometimesspirits;andthenmybantamsandpheasantsorthecascadedivertme;theformer,bytheirinspiringliveliness;thelatter,byitsechoingdashes,andhollowmurmurs.--Sometimes,solitudeisofallthingsmywish;andtheawfulsilenceofthenight,thespangledelement,andtherisingandsettingsun,howpromotiveofcontemplation!--Sometimes,whenIintendnothing,andexpectnoletters,IamofficioustotakeBettywithme;andatothers,bespeakherattendance,whenIknowsheisotherwiseemployed,andcannotgiveitme.

ThesemorecapitalartificesIbranchoutintolesserones,withoutnumber.Yetallhavenotonlythefaceoftruth,butarerealtruths;althoughnotmyprincipalmotive.Howpromptathingiswill!--Whatimpedimentsdoesdislikefurnish!--Howswiftly,througheverydifficulty,dowemovewiththeone!--howtardilywiththeother!--everytriflingobstructionweighingusdown,asifleadwerefastenedtoourfeet!

FRIDAYMORNING,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

Ihavealreadymadeupmyparceloflinen.MyheartachedallthetimeIwasemployedaboutit;andstillaches,atthethoughtsofitsbeinganecessaryprecaution.

Whentheparcelcomestoyourhands,asIhopeitsafelywill,youwillbepleasedtoopenit.Youwillfindinittwoparcelssealedup;oneofwhichcontainsthelettersyouhavenotyetseen;beingthosewrittensinceIleftyou:intheotherareallthelettersandcopiesoflettersthathavepassedbetweenyouandmesinceIwaslastwithyou;withsomeotherpapersonsubjectssomuchaboveme,thatIcannotwishthemtobeseenbyanybodywhoseindulgenceIamnotsosureof,asIamofyours.

Ifmyjudgmentripenwithmyyears,perhapsImayreviewthem.

Mrs.Nortonusedtosay,fromherreverendfather,thatyouthwasthetimeoflifeforimaginationandfancytoworkin:then,wereawritertolaybyhisworkstillriperyearsandexperienceshoulddirectthefirerathertoglow,thantoflameout;somethingbetweenbothmightperhapsbeproducedthatwouldnotdispleaseajudiciouseye.

Inathirddivision,foldedupseparately,areallMr.Lovelace'sletterswrittentomesincehewasforbiddenthishouse,andcopiesofmyanswerstothem.Iexpectthatyouwillbreakthesealsofthisparcel,andwhenyouhaveperusedthemall,givemeyourfreeopinionofmyconduct.

Bytheway,notalinefromthatman!--Notoneline!WednesdayIdepositedmine.ItremainedthereonWednesdaynight.WhattimeitwastakenawayyesterdayIcannottell:forIdidnotconcernmyselfaboutit,tilltowardsnight;andthenitwasnotthere.Noreturnattenthisday.IsupposeheisasmuchoutofhumourasI.--Withallmyheart.

Hemaybemeanenoughperhaps,ifeverIshouldputitintohispower,toavengehimselfforthetroublehehashadwithme.--Butthatnow,Idaresay,Inevershall.



Iseewhatsortofamantheencroacheris.AndIhopeweareequallysickofoneanother.--Myheartisvexedlyeasy,ifImaysodescribeit.--Vexedly--becauseoftheapprehendedinterviewwithSolmes,andtheconsequencesitmaybeattendedwith:orelseIshouldbequiteeasy;forwhy?IhavenotdeservedtheusageIreceive:andcouldIberidofSolmes,asIpresumeIamofLovelace,theirinfluenceovermyfather,mother,anduncles,againstme,couldnothold.

Thefiveguineastiedupinonecornerofahandkerchiefunderthelinen,IbegyouwillletpassasanacknowledgementforthetroubleIgiveyourtrustyservant.Youmustnotchidemeforthis.YouknowIcannotbeeasyunlessIhavemywayintheselittlematters.

IwasgoingtoputupwhatlittlemoneyIhave,andsomeofmyornaments;buttheyareportable,andIcannotforgetthem.Besides,shouldthey(suspectingme)desiretoseeanyofthejewels,andwereInotabletoproducethem,itwouldamounttoademonstrationofanintentionwhichwouldhaveaguiltyappearancetothem.

FRIDAY,ONEO'CLOCK,INTHEWOOD-HOUSE.

Noletteryetfromthisman!Ihaveluckilydepositedmyparcel,and

haveyourletteroflastnight.IfRoberttakethiswithouttheparcel,praylethimreturnimmediatelyforit.Buthecannotmissit,Ithink:andmustconcludethatitisputthereforhimtotakeaway.Youmaybelieve,fromthecontentsofyours,thatIshallimmediatelywriteagain.--

CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXXVI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYNIGHT,MARCH30.

Thefruitsofmyinquiryafteryourabominablewretch'sbehaviourandbasenessatthepaltryalehouse,whichhecallsaninn,preparetohear.

Wrensandsparrowsarenottooignobleaquarryforthisvillainousgos-hawk!--Hisassiduities;hiswatchings;hisnightlyrisques;theinclementweatherhejourneysin;mustnotbeallplacedtoyouraccount.Hehasopportunitiesofmakingeverythinglighttohimofthatsort.Asweetprettygirl,Iamtold--innocenttillhewentthither--Now!(Ah!poorgirl!)whoknowswhat?

Butjustturnedofseventeen!--Hisfriendandbrother-rake(amanofhumourandintrigue)asIamtold,tosharethesocialbottlewith.Andsometimesanotherdisguisedrakeortwo.Nosorrowcomesneartheirhearts.Benotdisturbed,mydear,athishoarsenesses!hispretty,Betsey,hisRosebud,asthevilewretchcallsher,canhearallhesays.

Heisveryfondofher.Theysaysheisinnocentevenyet--herfather,hergrandmother,believehertobeso.Heistofortuneherouttoayounglover!--Ah!thepooryounglover!--Ah!thepoorsimplegirl!



Mr.Hickmantellsme,thatheheardintown,thatheusedtobeoftenatplays,andattheopera,withwomen;andeverytimewithadifferentone--Ah!mysweetfriend!--ButIhopeheisnothingtoyou,ifallthisweretruth.--Butthisintelligence,inrelationtothispoorgirl,willdohisbusiness,ifyouhadbeeneversogoodfriendsbefore.

Avilewretch!Cannotsuchpurityinpursuit,inview,restrainhim?butIleavehimtoyou!--Therecanbenohopeofhim.Moreofafool,thanofsuchaman.YetIwishImaybeabletosnatchthepooryoungcreatureoutofhisvillainouspaws.Ihavelaidaschemetodoso;ifindeedshebehithertoinnocentandheart-free.

Heappearstothepeopleasamilitaryman,indisguise,secretinghimselfonaccountofaduelfoughtintown;theadversary'slifeinsuspense.Theybelieveheisagreatman.Hisfriendpassesforaninferiorofficer;uponafootingoffreedomwithhim.He,accompaniedbyathirdman,whoisasortofsubordinatecompaniontothesecond.Thewretchhimselfwithbutoneservant.

Omydear!howpleasantlycanthesedevils,asImustcallthem,passtheirtime,whileourgentlebosomsheavewithpityfortheirsupposedsufferingsforus!

*****

Ihavesentforthisgirlandherfather;andamjustnowinformed,thatIshallseethem.Iwillsiftthemthoroughly.Ishallsoonfindoutsuchasimplethingasthis,ifhehasnotcorruptedheralready--andifhehas,Ishallsoonfindoutthattoo.--Ifmoreartthannatureappearseitherinherorherfather,Ishallgivethembothup--butdependuponit,thegirl'sundone.

Heissaidtobefondofher.Heplacesherattheupperendofhistable.Hesetshera-prattling.Hekeepshisfriendsatadistancefromher.Shepratesaway.Headmiresfornatureallshesays.Oncewasheard

tocallhercharminglittlecreature!Anhundredhashecalledsonodoubt.Heputsheruponsinging.Hepraisesherwildnote--Omydear,thegirl'sundone!--mustbeundone!--Theman,youknow,isLOVELACE.

Let'embringWyerleytoyou,iftheywillhaveyoumarried--anybodybutSolmesandLovelacebeyours!--Soadvises

YourANNAHOWE.

Mydearestfriend,considerthisalehouseashisgarrison:himasanenemy:hisbrother-rakesashisassistantsandabettors.Wouldnotyourbrother,wouldnotyouruncles,tremble,iftheyknewhownearthemheis,astheypasstoandfro?--Iamtold,heisresolvedyoushallnotbe

carriedtoyouruncleAntony's.--Whatcanyoudo,withorwithoutsuchanenterprising--

FilluptheblankIleave.--Icannotfindawordbadenough

LETTERXXVII



MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,THREEO'CLOCK.

Youincense,alarm,andterrifyme,atthesametime.--Hasten,mydearestfriend,hastentomewhatfurtherintelligenceyoucangatheraboutthisvilestofmen.

Butnevertalkofinnocence,ofsimplicity,andthisunhappygirl,together!Mustshenotknow,thatsuchamanasthat,dignifiedinhisveryaspect;andnodisguiseabletoconcealhisbeingofcondition;mustmeantoomuch,whenheplacesherattheupperendofhistable,andcallsherbysuchtendernames?Wouldagirl,modestassimple,aboveseventeen,beseta-singingatthepleasureofsuchamanasthat?astranger,andprofessedlyindisguise!--Wouldherfatherandgrandmother,ifhonestpeople,andcarefuloftheirsimplegirl,permitsuchfreedoms?

Keephisfriendatadistancefromher!--Tobesurehisdesignsarevillainous,iftheyhavenotbeenalreadyeffected.

Warn,mydear,ifnottoolate,theunthinkingfather,ofhischild'sdanger.Therecannotbeafatherintheworld,whowouldsellhischild'svirtue.Normother!--Thepoorthing!

Ilongtoheartheresultofyourintelligence.Youshallseethesimplecreature,youtellme.--Letmeknowwhatsortofagirlsheis.--Asweetprettygirl!yousay.Asweetprettygirl,mydear!--Theyaresweetprettywordsfromyourpen.Butaretheyyoursorhisofher?--Ifshebesosimple,ifshehaveeaseandnatureinhermanner,inherspeech,andwarblesprettilyherwildnotes,why,suchagirlasthatmustengagesuchaprofligatewretch,(asnowindeedIdoubtthismanis,)accustomed,perhaps,totownwomen,andtheirconfidentways.--Mustdeeplyandforalongseasonengagehim:sinceperhapswhenherinnocenceisdeparted,shewillendeavourbyarttosupplythelossofthenaturalcharmswhichnowengagehim.

Finehopesofsuchawretch'sreformation!Iwouldnot,mydear,forthe

world,haveanythingtosay--butIneednotmakeresolutions.Ihavenotopened,norwillIopen,hisletter.--Asycophantcreature!--Withhishoarsenesses--gotperhapsbyamidnightrevel,singingtohiswildnotesinger,andonlyincreasedinthecoppice!

Tobealreadyonafooting!--Inhisesteem,Imean:formyself,Idespisehim.Ihatemyselfalmostforwritingsomuchabouthim,andofsuchasimpletonasthissweetprettygirlasyoucallher:butnoonecanbeeithersweetorpretty,thatisnotmodest,thatisnotvirtuous.

Andnow,mydear,IwilltellyouhowIcametoputyouuponthisinquiry.

ThisvileJosephLemanhadgivenahinttoBetty,andshetome,asifLovelacewouldbefoundouttobeaverybadman,ataplacewherehehadbeenlatelyseenindisguise.Buthewouldseefurther,hesaid,beforehetoldhermore;andshepromisedsecrecy,inhopetogetatfurtherintelligence.Ithoughtitcouldbenoharm,togetyoutoinformyourself,andme,ofwhatcouldbegathered.*AndnowIsee,hisenemiesarebuttoowellwarrantedintheirreportsofhim:and,iftheruinofthispooryoungcreaturebehisaim,andifhehadnotknownherbutforhisvisitstoHarlowe-place,Ishallhavereasontobedoublyconcernedforher;anddoublyincensedagainstsovileaman.



*ItwillbeseeninVol.I.LetterXXXIV.thatMr.Lovelace'smotiveforsparinghisRosebudwastwofold.First,Becausehispridewasgratifiedbythegrandmother'sdesiringhimtosparehergrand-daughter.Manyaprettyrogue,sayhe,hadIspared,whomIdidnotspare,hadmypowerbeenacknowledged,andmymercyintimeimplored.Butthedebellaresuperbosshouldbemymotto,wereItohaveanewone.

Hisothermotivewillbeexplainedinthefollowingpassage,inthesame.Ineverwassohonest,forsolongtogether,sayshe,sincemymatriculation.Itbehovesmesotobe.Somewayorothermyrecess[atthelittleinn]maybefoundout,anditthenwillbethoughtthatmyRosebudhasattractedme.Areportinmyfavour,fromsimplicitiessoamiable,mayestablishme,&c.

Accordingly,asthereaderwillhereaftersee,Mr.Lovelacefindsbytheeffects,hisexpectationsfromthecontrivancehesetonfootbymeansofhisagentJosephLeman(whoplays,asabove,uponBettyBarnes)fullyanswered,thoughhecouldnotknowwhatpassedontheoccasionbetweenthetwoladies.

Thisexplanationisthemorenecessarytobegiven,asseveralofourreaders(throughwantofdueattention)haveattributedtoMr.Lovelace,onhisbehaviourtohisRosebud,agreatermeritthanwasduetohim;andmoreoverimagined,thatitwasimprobable,thataman,whowascapableofactingsogenerously(astheysupposed)inthisinstance,shouldbeguiltyofanyatrociousvileness.Notconsidering,thatlove,pride,andrevengeasheownsinVol.I.LetterXXXI.wereingredientsofequalforceinhiscomposition;andthatresistancewasastimulustohim.

IthinkIhatehimworsethanIdoSolmeshimself.

ButIwillnotaddonemorewordabouthi,;andafterIhavetoldyou,thatIwishtoknow,assoonaspossiblewhatfurtheroccursfromyourinquiry.Ihavealetterfromhim;butshallnotopenittillIdo:andthen,ifitcomeoutasIdaresayitwill,IwilldirectlyputtheletterunopenedintotheplaceItookitfrom,andnevertroublemyselfmoreabouthim.Adieu,mydearestfriend.

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXVIII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE.FRIDAYNOON,MARCH31.

Justiceobligesmetoforwardthisaftermylastonthewingsofthewind,asImaysay.Ireallybelievethemanisinnocent.Ofthisoneaccusation,Ithinkhemustbeacquitted;andIamsorryIwassoforwardindispatchingawaymyintelligencebyhalves.

Ihaveseenthegirl.Sheisreallyaverypretty,averyneat,and,



whatisstillagreaterbeauty,averyinnocentyoungcreature.Hewhocouldhaveruinedsuchanundersignedhome-bred,musthavebeenindeedinfernallywicked.Herfatherisanhonestsimpleman;entirelysatisfiedwithhischild,andwithhernewacquaintance.

Iamalmostafraidforyourheart,whenItellyou,thatIfind,nowIhavegottothebottomofthisinquiry,somethingnoblecomeoutinthisLovelace'sfavour.

Thegirlistobemarriednextweek;andthispromotedandbroughtaboutbyhim.Heisresolved,herfathersays,tomakeonecouplehappy,andwisheshecouldmakemoreso[There'sforyou,mydear!]Andsheprofessestolove,hehasgivenheranhundredpounds:thegrandmotheractuallyhasitinherhands,toanswertothelikesumgiventotheyouthbyoneofhisownrelation:whileMr.Lovelace'scompanion,attractedbytheexample,hasgiventwenty-fiveguineastothefather,whoispoor,towardsclothestoequiptheprettyrustic.

Mr.Lovelaceandhisfriend,thepoormansays,whentheyfirstcametohishouse,affectedtoappearaspersonsoflowdegree;butnowheknowstheone(butmentioneditinconfidence)tobeColonelBarrow,theotherCaptainSloane.Thecolonelheownswasatfirstverysweetuponhisgirl:buthergrandmother'sbeggingofhimtospareherinnocence,hevowed,thatheneverwouldofferanythingbutgoodcounseltoher.He

kepthisword;andtheprettyfoolacknowledged,thatshenevercouldhavebeenbetterinstructedbytheministerhimselffromthebible-book!--Thegirlpleasedmesowell,thatImadehervisittomeworthherwhile.

Butwhat,mydear,willbecomeofusnow?--Lovelacenotonlyreformed,butturnedpreacher!--Whatwillbecomeofusnow?--Why,mysweetfriend,yourgenerosityisnowengagedinhisfavour!--Fieuponthisgenerosity!Ithinkinmyheart,thatitdoesasmuchmischieftothenoble-minded,aslovetotheignobler.--Whatbeforewasonlyaconditionalliking,Iamnowafraidwillturntolikingunconditional.

Icouldnotenduretochangemyinvectiveintopanegyricallatonce,

andsosoon.We,orsuchasIatleast,lovetokeepourselvesincountenanceforarashjudgment,evenwhenweknowittoberash.Everybodyhasnotyourgenerosityinconfessingamistake.Itrequiresagreatnessofsoulfranklytodoit.SoImadestillfurtherinquiryafterhislifeandmanner,andbehaviourthere,inhopestofindsomethingbad:butalluniform!

Uponthewhole,Mr.Lovelacecomesoutwithsomuchadvantagefromthisinquiry,thatweretheretheleastroomforit,Ishouldsuspectthewholetobeaplotsetonfoottowashablackamoorwhite.Adieu,mydear.

ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESATURDAY,APRIL1.

Hastycensuresdoindeedsubjectthemselvestothechargeof



variablenessandinconsistencyinjudgment:andsotheyought;for,ifyou,evenyou,mydear,weresolothtoownamistake,asintheinstancebeforeusyoupretendyouwere,IbelieveIshouldnothavelovedyousowellasIreallydoloveyou.Norcouldyou,inthatcase,havesofranklythrownthereflectionIhintatuponyourself,havenotyourmindbeenoneofthemostingenuousthateverwomanboasted.

Mr.Lovelacehasfaultsenowtodeserveveryseverecensure,althoughhebenotguiltyofthis.IfIwereuponsuchtermswithhimashecouldwishmetobe,Ishouldgivehimsuchahint,thatthistreacherousJosephLemancannotbesomuchattachedtohim,asperhapshethinkshimtobe.Ifitwere,hewouldnothavebeensoreadytoreporttohisdisadvantage(andtoBettyBarnestoo)thisslightaffairoftheprettyrustic.JosephhasengagedBettytosecrecy;promisingtolether,andheryoungmaster,toknowmore,whenheknowsthewholeofthematter:andthishindersherfrommentioningit,assheisneverthelessagogtodo,tomysisterorbrother.AndthenshedoesnotchoosetodisobligeJoseph;foralthoughshepretendstolookabovehim,shelistens,Ibelieve,tosomelove-storieshetellsher.

Womenhavingitnotintheirpowertobeginacourtship,someofthemveryfrequently,Ibelieve,lendanearwheretheirheartsinclinenot.

Buttosaynomoreoftheselowpeople,neitherofwhomIthink

tolerablyof;Imustneedsown,thatasIshouldforeverhavedespisedthisman,hadhebeencapableofsuchavileintrigueinhiswaytoHarlowe-place,andasIbelievehewascapableofit,ithasindeed[Iownithas]proportionablyengagedmygenerosity,asyoucallit,inhisfavour:perhapsmorethanImayhavereasontowishithad.And,rallymeasyouwill,praytellmefairly,mydear,woulditnothavehadsuchaneffectuponyou?

Thentherealgenerosityoftheact.--Iprotest,mybelovedfriend,ifhewouldbegoodfortherestofhislifefromthistime,Iwouldforgivehimagreatmanyofhispasterrors,wereitonlyforthedemonstrationhehasgiveninthis,thatheiscapableofsogoodandbountifulamannerofthinking.

YoumaybelieveImadenoscrupletoopenhisletter,afterthereceiptofyoursecondonthissubject:norshallIofansweringit,asIhavenoreasontofindfaultwithit:anarticleinhisfavour,procuredhim,however,somuchtheeasier,(Imustown,)bywayofamendsfortheunduedispleasureItookagainsthim;thoughheknowsitnot.

Isitluckyenoughthatthismatterwascleareduptomebyyourfriendlydiligencesosoon:forhadIwrittenbeforeitwas,itwouldhavebeentoreinforcemydismissionofhim;andperhapsIshouldhavementionedtheverymotive;foritaffectedmemorethanIthinkitought:andthen,whatanadvantagewouldthathavegivenhim,whenhecouldhaveclearedupthemattersohappilyforhimself!

WhenIsendyouthisletterofhis,youwillseehowveryhumbleheis:whatacknowledgementsofnaturalimpatience:whatconfessionoffaults,asyouprognosticated.

Averydifferentappearance,Imustown,allthesemake,nowthestoryoftheprettyrusticisclearedup,towhattheywouldhavemade,haditnot.

Youwillseehowheaccountstome,'Thathecouldnot,byreasonof



indisposition,comeformyletterinperson:andtheforwardcreaturelaboursthepoint,asifhethoughtIshouldbeuneasythathedidnot.'Iamindeedsorryheshouldbeillonmyaccount;andIwillallow,thatthesuspensehehasbeeninforsometimepast,musthavebeenvexatiousenoughtosoimpatientaspirit.Butallisowingoriginallytohimself.

Youwillfindhim(inthepresumptionofbeingforgiven)'fullofcontrivancesandexpedientsformyescapingmythreatenedcompulsion.'

Ihavealwayssaid,thatnexttobeingwithoutfault,istheacknowledgementofafault;sincenoamendmentcanbeexpectedwhereanerrorisdefended:butyouwillseeinthisveryletter,anhaughtinesseveninhissubmissions.'Tistrue,Iknownotwheretofindfaultastotheexpression;yetcannotIbesatisfied,thathishumilityishumility;orevenanhumilityuponsuchconvictionasoneshouldbepleasedwith.

Tobesure,heisfarfrombeingapoliteman:yetisnotdirectlyandcharacteristically,asImaysay,unpolite.Buthisissuchasortofpoliteness,ashas,byacarelessnessfoundedonveryearlyindulgence,andperhapsontoomuchsuccessinriperyears,andanarrogancebuiltuponboth,grownintoassuredness,and,ofcourse,Imaysay,intoindelicacy.

Thedistanceyourecommendatwhichtokeepthesemen,iscertainlyrightinthemain:familiaritydestroysreverence:Butwithwhom?--Notwiththose,surely,whoareprudent,grateful,andgenerous.

Butitisverydifficultforpersons,whowouldavoidrunningintooneextreme,tokeepclearofanother.HenceMr.Lovelace,perhaps,thinksitthemarkofagreatspirittohumourhispride,thoughattheexpenseofhispoliteness:butcanthemanbeadeepman,whoknowsnothowtomakesuchdistinctionsasapersonofbutmoderatepartscannotmiss?

Hecomplainsheavilyofmy'readinesstotakemortaloffenceathim,andtodismisshimforever:itisahighconduct,hesays,hemustbefrankenoughtotellme;aconductthatmustbeveryfarfromcontributingto

allayhisapprehensionsofthepossibilitythatImaybeprosecutedintomyrelations'measuresinbehalfofMr.Solmes.'

Youwillseehowheputshispresentandhisfuturehappiness,'withregardtobothworlds,entirelyuponme.'Theardourwithwhichhevowsandpromises,Ithinktheheartonlycandictate:howelsecanoneguessataman'sheart?

Youwillalsosee,'thathehasalreadyheardoftheinterviewIamtohavewithMr.Solmes;'andwithwhatvehemenceandanguishheexpresseshimselfontheoccasion.Iintendtotakepropernoticeoftheignoblemeanshestoopsto,tocomeathisearlyintelligenceofourfamily.Ifpersonspretendingtoprinciple,bearnottheirtestimonyagainst

unprincipledactions,whatcheckcantheyhave?

Youwillsee,'howpassionatelyhepressesmetoobligehimwithafewlines,beforetheinterviewbetweenMr.Solmesandmetakesplace,(if,ashesays,itmusttakeplace,)toconfirmhishope,thatIhavenoview,inmypresentdispleasureagainsthim,togiveencouragementtoSolmes.Anapprehension,hesays,thathemustbeexcusedforrepeating;especiallyastheinterviewisafavourgrantedtothatman,whichIhaverefusedtohim;since,asheinfers,wereitnotwithsuchanexpectation,whyshouldmyfriendspressit?'



*****

Ihavewritten;andtothiseffect:'ThatIhadneverintendedtowriteanotherlinetoaman,whocouldtakeuponhimselftoreflectuponmysexandmyself,forhavingthoughtfittomakeuseofmyownjudgment.

'Itellhim,thatIhavesubmittedtotheinterviewwithMr.Solmes,purelyasanactofduty,toshewmyfriends,thatIwillcomplywiththeircommandsasfarasIcan;andthatIhope,whenMr.SolmeshimselfshallseehowdeterminedIam,hewillceasetoprosecuteasuit,inwhichitisimpossibleheshouldsucceedwithmyconsent.

'Iassurehim,thatmyaversiontoMr.Solmesistoosinceretopermitmetodoubtmyselfonthisoccasion.But,nevertheless,hemustnotimagine,thatmyrejectingofMr.Solmesisinfavourtohim.ThatIvaluemyfreedomandindependencytoomuch,ifmyfriendswillbutleavemetomyownjudgment,togivethemuptoamansouncontroulable,andwhoshewsmebeforehandwhatIhavetoexpectfromhim,wereIinhispower.

'Iexpressmyhighdisapprobationofthemethodshetakestocome

atwhatpassesinaprivatefamily.Thepretenceofcorruptingotherpeople'sservants,bywayofreprisalforthespiestheyhavesetuponhim,Itellhim,isaverypoorexcuse;andnomorethananattempttojustifyonemeannessbyanother.

'Thereis,Iobservetohim,arightandawrongineverything,letpeopleputwhatglossestheypleaseupontheiraction.Tocondemnadeviation,andtofollowitbyasgreataone,what,Iaskhim,isthis,butpropagatingageneralcorruption?--Astandmustbemadesomebody,turnroundtheevilasmanyasmay,orvirtuewillbelost:AndshallitnotbeI,aworthymindwouldask,thatshallmakethisstand?

'Ileavehimtojudge,whetherhisbeaworthyone,triedbythisrule:

Andwhether,knowingtheimpetuosityofhisowndisposition,andtheimprobabilitythereisthatmyfatherandfamilywilleverbereconciledtohim,Ioughttoencouragehishopes?

'Thesespotsandblemishes,Ifurthertellhim,givemenotearnestnessenoughforanysakebuthisown,towishhiminajusterandnoblertrainofthinkingandacting;forthatItrulydespisedmanyofthewaysheallowshimselfin:ourmindsarethereforeinfinitelydifferent:andastohisprofessionsofreformation,Imusttellhim,thatprofuseacknowledgements,withoutamendment,arebuttomeassomanyanticipatingconcessions,whichhemayfindmucheasiertomake,thaneeithertodefendhimself,oramendhiserrors.

'Iinformhim,thatIhavebeenlatelymadeacquainted'[andsoIhavebyBetty,andshebymybrother]'withtheweakandwantonairshegiveshimselfofdeclaimingagainstmatrimony.Iseverelyreprehendhimonthisoccasion:andaskhim,withwhatviewhecantakesowitless,sodespicablealiberty,inwhichonlythemostabandonedofmenallowthemselves,andyetpresumetoaddressme?

'Itellhim,thatifIamobligedtogotomyuncleAntony's,itisnottobeinferred,thatImustthereforenecessarilybeMr.Solmes'swife:



sinceImustthereforesosureperhapsthatthesameexceptionsliesostronglyagainstmyquittingahousetowhichIshallbeforciblycarried,asifIleftmyfather'shouse:and,attheworst,ImaybeabletokeeptheminsuspensetillmycousinMordencomes,whowillhavearighttoputmeinpossessionofmygrandfather'sestate,ifIinsistuponit.'

This,Idoubt,issomewhatofanartifice;whichcanonlybeexcusable,asitisprincipallydesignedtokeephimoutofmischief.ForIhavebutlittlehope,ifcarriedthither,whethersensibleorsenseless,absolutelyifIamlefttothemercyofmybrotherandsister,buttheywillendeavourtoforcethesolemnobligationuponme.Otherwise,weretherebutanyprospectofavoidingthis,bydelaying(orevenbytakingthingstomakemeill,ifnothingelsewoulddo,)tillmycousincomes,IhopeIshouldnotthinkofleavingevenmyuncle'shouse.ForIshouldnotknowhowtosquareittomyownprinciples,todispensewiththedutyIowetomyfather,whereveritshallbehiswilltoplaceme.

Butwhileyougivemethecharminghope,that,inordertoavoidoneman,Ishallnotbeunderthenecessityofthrowingmyselfuponthefriendsoftheother;Ithinkmycasenotdesperate.

*****

Iseenotanyofmyfamily,norhearfromtheminanywayofkindness.ThislooksasiftheythemselvesexpectednogreatmattersfromtheTuesday'sconferencewhichmakesmyheartfluttereverytimeIthinkofit.

MyuncleAntony'spresenceontheoccasionIdonotmuchlike:butIhadrathermeethimthanmybrotherorsister:yetmyuncleisveryimpetuous.Ican'tthinkMr.Lovelacecanbemuchmoreso;atleasthecannotlookangry,asmyuncle,withhisharderfeatures,can.Thesesea-prosperedgentlemen,asmyunclehasoftenmademethink,notusedtoanybutelementalcontroul,andevenreadytobuffetthat,bluster

oftenasviolentlyasthewindstheyareaccustomedtobeangryat.

IbelieveMr.SolmeswilllookasmuchlikeafoolasIshalldo,ifitbetrue,asmyuncleHarlowewrites,andasBettyoftentellsme,thatheisasmuchafraidofseeingme,asIamofseeinghim.

Adieu,myhappy,thrice-happyMissHowe,whohavenohardtermsfixedtoyourduty!--Whohavenothingtodo,buttofallinwithachoiceyourmotherhasmadeforyou,towhichyouhavenot,norcanhave,ajustobjection:exceptthefrowardnessofoursex,asourfreecensurerswouldperhapstakethelibertytosay,makesitone,thatthechoicewasyourmother's,atfirsthand.Perversenature,weknow,lovesnottobeprescribedto;althoughyouthisnotsowellqualified,eitherby

sedatenessorexperience,tochooseforitself.

Toknowyourownhappiness,andthatitisnow,nortoleaveittoafterreflectiontolookbackuponthepreferablepastwithaheavyandselfaccusingheart,thatyoudidnotchooseitwhenyoumighthavechosenit,isallthatisnecessarytocompleteyourfelicity!--Andthispoweriswishedyouby




LETTERXXX

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESATURDAY,APRIL2.

Ioughtyesterdaytohaveacknowledgedthereceiptofyourparcel.Robintellsme,thattheJosephLeman,whomyoumentionasthetraitor,sawhim.Hewasinthepoultry-yard,andspoketoRobinoverthebankwhichdividesthatfromthegreen-lane.'Whatbringsyouhither,Mr.Robert?--ButIcantell.Hieaway,asfastasyoucan.'

Nodoubtbuttheirdependenceuponthisfellow'svigilance,anduponBetty's,leavesyoumoreatlibertyinyourairings,thanyouwouldotherwisebe.ButyouaretheonlypersonIeverheardof,whoinsuchcircumstanceshadnotsomefaithfulservanttotrustlittleofficesto.Apoet,mydear,wouldnothavegonetoworkforanAngelica,withoutgivingherherVioletta,herCleante,herClelia,orsomesuchpretty-namedconfidant--anoldnurseattheleast.

Ireadtomymotherseveralpassagesofyourletters.Butyourlastparagraph,inyouryesterday'squitecharmedher.Youhavewonherheart

byit,shetoldme.Andwhileherfitofgratitudeforitlasted,Iwasthinkingtomakemyproposal,andtopressitwithalltheearnestnessIcouldgiveit,whenHickmancamein,makinghislegs,andstrokinghiscravatandruffles.

Icouldmostfreelyhaveruffledhimforit.Asitwas--Sir,saidI,sawyounotsomeoftheservants?--Couldnotoneofthemhavecomeinbeforeyou?

Hebeggedpardon:lookedasifheknewnotwhetherhehadbestkeephisground,orwithdraw:--Tillmymother,hisfastfriend,interposed--Why,Nancy,wearenotuponparticulars.--Pray,Mr.Hickman,sitdown.

Byyourle--ave,goodMadam,tome.Youknowhisdrawl,whenhismusclesgivehimtherespectfulhesitation.--

Ay,ay,praysitdown,honestman,ifyouareweary--butbymamma,ifyouplease.Idesiremyhoopmayhaveitsfullcircumference.Allthey'regoodfor,thatIknow,istocleandirtyshoes,andtokeepfellowsatadistance.

Strangegirl!criedmymother,displeased;butwithamilderturn,ay,ay,Mr.Hickman,sitdownbyme:Ihavenosuchforbiddingfollyinmydress.

Ilookedserious;andinmyheartwasgladthisspeechofherswasnot

madetoyouruncleAntony.

Mymother,withthetruewidow'sfreedom,wouldmightyprudentlyhaveledintothesubjectwehadbeenupon;andwouldhavehadreadtohim,Iquestionnot,thatveryparagraphinyourletterwhichissomuchinhisfavour.HewashighlyobligedtodearMissHarlowe,shewouldassurehim;thatshedidsay--

ButIaskedhim,ifhehadanynewsbyhislastlettersfromLondon?--Aquestionwhichhealwaysunderstandstobeasubjectchanger;for



otherwiseIneverputit.Andsoifhebebutsilent,Iamnotangrywithhimthatheanswersitnot.

Ichoosenottomentionmyproposalbeforehim,tillIknowhowitwillberelishedbymymother.Ifitbenotwellreceived,perhapsImayemployhimontheoccasion.YetIdon'tliketoowehimanobligation,ifIcouldhelpit.Formenwhohavehisviewsintheirheads,dosoparadeit,sostrutabout,ifawomancondescendtoemploytheminheraffairs,thatonehasnopatiencewiththem.

However,ifIfindnotanopportunitythisday,Iwillmakeoneto-morrow.

Ishallnotopeneitherofyoursealed-upparcels,butinyourpresence.Thereisnoneed.Yourconductisoutofallquestionwithme:andbytheextractsyouhavegivenmefromhislettersandyourown,Iknowallthatrelatestothepresentsituationofthingsbetweenyou.

Iwasgoingtogiveyoualittleflippanthintortwo.Butsinceyouwishtobethoughtsuperiortoalloursexinthecommandofyourself;andsinceindeedyoudeservetobethoughtso;Iwillspareyou.Youare,however,attimes,morethanhalfinclinedtospeakout.Thatyoudonot,isonlyowingtoalittlebashfulstrugglebetweenyouandyourself,asImaysay.Whenthatisquitegotover,Iknowyouwill

favourmeundisguisedlywiththeresult.

Icannotforgiveyourtakinguponme(atsoextravagantaratetoo)topaymymother'sservants.IndeedIam,andIwillbe,angrywithyouforit.Ayear'swagesatoncewellnigh!onlyas,unknowntomymother,Imakeitbetterfortheservantsaccordingtotheirmerits--howitmadethemanstare!--Anditmaybehisruintoo,asfarasIknow.Ifheshouldbuyaring,andmarryasorrybodyintheneighbourhoodwiththemoney,onewouldbeloth,atwelvemonthhence,thatthepooroldfellowshouldthinkhehadreasontowishthebountyneverconferred.

IMUSTgiveyouyourwayinthesethings,yousay.--AndIknowthereisnocontradictingyou:foryouwereeverputtingtoogreatavalueupon

littleofficesdoneforyou,andtoolittleuponthegreatonesyoudoforothers.Thesatisfactionyouhaveindoingso,Igrantit,repaysyou.Butwhyshouldyou,bythenoblenessofyourmind,throwreproachesupontherestoftheworld?particularly,uponyourownfamily--anduponourstoo?

If,asIhaveheardyousay,itisagoodruletogiveWORDSthehearing,buttoformourjudgmentofmenandthingsbyDEEDSONLY;whatshallwethinkofone,whoseekstofindpalliativesinwords,fornarrownessofheartintheverypersonsherdeedssosilently,yetsoforcibly,reflectupon?Whyblushyounot,mydearfriend,tobethussingular?--Whenyoumeetwithanotherpersonwhosemindislikeyourown,thendisplayyourexcellenciesasyouplease:buttillthen,

forpity'ssake,letyourheartandyourspiritsufferalittlecontradiction.

Iintendedtowritebutafewlines;chieflytoletyouknowyourparcelsarecomesafe.AndaccordinglyIbeganinalargehand;andIamalreadycometotheendofmysecondsheet.ButIcouldwriteaquirewithouthesitationuponasubjectsocopiousandsobelovedasisyourpraise.Notforthissingleinstanceofyourgenerosity;sinceIamreallyangrywithyouforit;butforthebenevolenceexemplifiedinthewholetenorofyourlifeandaction;ofwhichthisisbutacommon



instance.Heavendirectyou,inyourownarduoustrials,isallIhaveroomtoadd;andmakeyouashappy,asyouthinktobe

YourownANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXXI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAYNIGHT,APRIL2.

Ihavemanynewparticularstoacquaintyouwith,thatshewagreatchangeinthebehaviourofmyfriendsasIfindwehave.Iwillgivetheseparticularstoyouastheyoffered.

Allthefamilywasatchurchinthemorning.TheybroughtgoodDr.Lewenwiththem,inpursuanceofapreviousinvitation.Andthedoctorsentuptodesiremypermissiontoattendmeinmyownapartment.

Youmaybelieveitwaseasilygranted.

Sothedoctorcameup.

Wehadaconversationofnearanhourbeforedinner:but,tomysurprise,hewavedeverythingthatwouldhaveledmetothesubjectIsupposedhewantedtotalkabout.Atlast,Iaskedhim,ifitwerenotthoughtstrangeIshouldbesolongabsentfromchurch?Hemademesomehandsomecomplimentsuponit:butsaid,forhispart,hehadevermadeitaruletoavoidinterferingintheprivateconcernsoffamilies,unlessdesiredtodoso.

Iwasprodigiouslydisappointed;butsupposingthathewasthoughttoojustamantobemadeajudgeofinthiscause;Ilednomoretoit:nor,whenhewascalleddowntodinner,didhetaketheleastnoticeofleavingmebehindhimthere.

ButthiswasnotthefirsttimesincemyconfinementthatIthoughtitahardshipnottodinebelow.AndwhenIpartedwithhimonthestairs,atearwouldburstitsway;andhehurrieddown;hisowngood-naturedeyesglistening;forhesawit.--Nortrustedhehisvoice,lesttheaccentIsupposeshouldhavediscoveredhisconcern;departinginsilence;thoughwithhisusualgracefulobligingness.

Ihearthathepraisedme,andmypartintheconversationthatpassedbetweenus.Toshewthem,Isuppose,thatitwasnotupontheinterestingsubjectswhichImakenodoubthewasdesirednottoenterupon.

Heleftmesodissatisfied,yetsoperplexedwiththisnewwayoftreatment,thatIneverfoundmyselfsomuchdisconcerted,andoutofmytrain.

ButIwastobemoreso.Thiswastobeadayofpuzzletome.Pregnantpuzzle,ifImaysayso:fortheremustgreatmeaningliebehindit.

Intheafternoon,allbutmybrotherandsisterwenttochurchwiththegooddoctor;wholefthiscomplimentsforme.Itookawalkinthegarden.Mybrotherandsisterwalkedinittoo,andkeptmeintheir



eyeagoodwhile,onpurpose,asIthought,thatImightseehowgayandgood-humouredtheyweretogether.AtlasttheycamedownthewalkthatIwascomingup,hand-in-hand,lover-like.

Yourservant,Miss--yourservant,Sir--passedbetweenmybrotherandme.

Isitnotcoldish,Clary!inakindervoicethanusual,saidmysister,andstopped.--Istoppedandcourtesiedlowtoherhalf-courtesy.--Ithinknot,Sister,saidI.

Shewenton.Icourtesiedwithoutreturn;andproceeded,turningtomypoultry-yard.

Byashorterturn,arm-in-arm,theyweretherebeforeme.

Ithink,Clary,saidmybrother,youmustpresentmewithsomeofthisbreed,forScotland.

Ifyouplease,Brother.

I'llchooseforyou,saidmysister.

AndwhileIfedthem,theypointedtohalfadozen:yetintendingnothingbyit,Ibelieve,buttoshewadealofloveandgood-humourto

eachotherbeforeme.

Myunclesnext,(attheirreturnfromchurch)weretodomethehonouroftheirnotice.TheybidBettytellme,theywoulddrinkteawithmeinmyownapartment.Now,thoughtI,shallIhavethesubjectofnextTuesdayenforceduponme.

Buttheycontradictedtheorderfortea,andonlymyuncleHarlowecameuptome.

Half-distant,half-affectionate,athisenteringmychamber,wastheairheputontohisdaughter-niece,asheusedtocallme;andIthrewmyselfathisfeet,andbesoughthisfavour.

Noneofthesediscomposures,Child.Noneoftheseapprehensions.Youwillnowhaveeverybody'sfavour.Alliscomingabout,mydear.Iwasimpatienttoseeyou.Icouldnolongerdenymyselfthissatisfaction.Hethenraisedme,andkissedme,andcalledmecharmingcreature!

Buthewavedenteringintoanyinterestingsubject.Allwillbewellnow.Allwillberight!--Nomorecomplainings!everybodylovesyou!--Ionlycametomakemyearliestcourttoyou![werehiscondescendingwords]andtositandtalkoftwentyandtwentyfondthings,asIusedtodo.Andleteverypastdisagreeablethingbeforgotten;asifnothinghadhappened.

Heunderstoodmeasbeginningtohintatthedisgraceofmyconfinement--Nodisgracemydearcanfalltoyourlot:yourreputationistoowellestablished.--Ilongedtoseeyou,repeatedme--IhaveseennobodyhalfsoamiablesinceIsawyoulast.

Andagainhekissedmycheek,myglowingcheek;forIwasimpatient,Iwasvexed,tobethus,asIthought,playedupon:AndhowcouldIbethankfulforavisit,that(itwasnowevident)wasonlyatoohumbleartifice,todrawmeinagainstthenextTuesday,ortoleavemeinexcusabletothemall?



Omycunningbrother!--Thisishiscontrivance.Andthenmyangermademerecollectthetriumphinhisandmysister'sfondnessforeachother,aspractisedbeforeme;andthemingledindignationflashingfromtheireyes,asarm-in-armtheyspoketome,andtheforcedcondescensionplayingupontheirlips,whentheycalledmeClary,andSister.

DoyouthinkIcould,withthesereflections,lookuponmyuncleHarlowe'svisitasthefavourheseemeddesirousIshouldthinkittobe?--IndeedIcouldnot;andseeinghimsostudiouslyavoidallrecrimination,asImaycallit,Igaveintotheaffectation;andfollowedhiminhistalkofindifferentthings:whileheseemedtoadmirethisthingandthat,asifhehadneverseenthembefore;andnow-andthencondescendinglykissedthehandthatwroughtsomeofthethingshefixedhiseyesupon;notsomuchtoadmirethem,astofindsubjectstodivertwhatwasmostinhishead,andinmyheart.

Athisgoingaway--HowcanIleaveyouherebyyourself,mydear?you,whosecompanyusedtoenlivenusall.Youarenotexpecteddownindeed:butIprotestIhadagoodmindtosurpriseyourfatherandmother!--IfIthoughtnothingwouldarisethatwouldbedisagreeable--Mydear!mylove![Othedearartfulgentleman!howcouldmyuncleHarlowesodissemble?]Whatsayyou?Willyougivemeyourhands?Willyouseeyourfather?Canyoustandhisdispleasure,onfirstseeingthedearcreature

whohasgivenhimandallofussomuchdisturbance?Canyoupromisefuture--

Hesawmerisinginmytemper--Nay,mydear,interruptinghimself,ifyoucannotbeallresignation,Iwouldnothaveyouthinkofit.

Myheart,strugglingbetweendutyandwarmthoftemper,wasfull.Youknow,mydear,Inevercouldbeartobedealtmeanlywith!--How--howcanyou,Sir!youmyPapa-uncle--Howcanyou,Sir!--Thepoorgirl!--forIcouldnotspeakwithconnexion.

Nay,mydear,ifyoucannotbeallduty,allresignation--betterstaywhereyouare.--Butaftertheinstanceyouhavegiven--

InstanceIhavegiven!--Whatinstance,Sir?

Well,well,Child,betterstaywhereyouare,ifyourpastconfinementhangssoheavyuponyou--butnowtherewillbeasuddenendtoit--Adieu,mydear!--Threewordsonly--Letyourcompliancebesincere!--andloveme,asyouusedtoloveme--yourGrandfatherdidnotdosomuchforyou,asIwilldoforyou.

Withoutsufferingmetoreply,hehurriedaway,asIthought,likeonewhohasbeenemployedtoactapartagainsthiswill,andwasgladitwasover.

Don'tyousee,mydearMissHowe,howtheyarealldetermined?--HaveInotreasontodreadnextTuesday?

Uppresentlyaftercamemysister:--toobserve,Isuppose,thewayIwasin.

Shefoundmeintears.



HaveyounotaThomasaKempis,Sister?withastiffair.

Ihave,Madam.

Madam!--Howlongarewetobeatthisdistance,Clary?

Nolonger,mydearBella,ifyouallowmetocallyousister.AndItookherhand.

Nofawningneither,Girl!

Iwithdrewmyhandashastily,asyoumaybelieveIshouldhavedone,hadI,infeelingforoneofyourparcelsunderthewood,beenbittenbyaviper.

Ibegpardon,saidI,--Too-tooreadytomakeadvances,Iamalwayssubjectingmyselftocontempts.

Peoplewhoknownothowtokeepamiddlebehaviour,saidshe,musteverdoso.

IwillfetchyoutheKempis,Sister.Idid.Hereitis.Youwillfindexcellentthings,Bella,inthatlittlebook.

Iwish,retortedshe,youhadprofitedbythem.

Iwishyoumay,saidI.Examplefromasisterolderthanone'sselfisafinething.

Older!saucylittlefool!--Andawaysheflung.

Whatacaptiousoldwomanwillmysistermake,ifshelivestobeone!--demandingthereverence,perhaps,yetnotaimingatthemerit;andashamedoftheyearsthatcanonlyentitlehertothereverence.

Itisplain,fromwhatIhaverelated,thattheythinktheyhavegotmeatsomeadvantagebyobtainingmyconsenttotheinterview:butifit

werenot,Betty'simpertinencejustnowwouldmakeitevident.Shehasbeencomplimentingmeuponit;anduponthevisitofmyuncleHarlowe.Shesays,thedifficultynowismorethanhalfoverwithme.SheissureIwouldnotseeMr.Solmes,buttohavehim.Nowshallshebesoonbetteremployedthanoflateshehasbeen.Allhandswillbeatwork.Shelovesdearlytohaveweddingsgoforward!--Whoknows,whoseturnwillbenext?

IfoundintheafternoonareplytomyanswertoMr.Lovelace'sletter.Itisfullofpromises,fullofvowsofgratitude,ofeternalgratitude,ishisword,amongothersstillmorehyperbolic.YetMr.Lovelace,theleastofanymanwhoselettersIhaveseen,runsintothoseelevatedabsurdities.Ishouldbeapttodespisehimforit,ifhedid.Such

languagelooksalwaystome,asiftheflattererthoughttofindawomanafool,orhopedtomakeherone.

'Heregretsmyindifferencetohim;whichputsallthehopehehasinmyfavourupontheshockingusageIreceivefrommyfriends.

'Astomychargeuponhimofunpolitenessanduncontroulableness--What[heasks]canhesay?sincebeingunableabsolutelytovindicatehimself,hehastoomuchingenuousnesstoattempttodoso:yetisstruckdumbbymyharshconstruction,thathisacknowledgingtemper



isowingmoretohiscarelessnesstodefendhimself,thantohisinclinationtoamend.HehadneverbeforemetwiththeobjectionsagainsthismoralswhichIhadraised,justlyraised:andhewasresolvedtoobviatethem.Whatisit,heasks,thathehaspromised,butreformationbymyexample?Andwhatoccasionforthepromise,ifhehadnotfaults,andthoseverygreatones,toreform?Hehopesacknowledgementofanerrorisnobadsign;althoughmyseverevirtuehasinterpreteditintoone.

'HebelievesImayberight(severelyright,hecallsit)inmyjudgmentagainstmakingreprisalsinthecaseoftheintelligencehereceivesfrommyfamily:hecannotchargehimselftobeofatemperthatleadshimtobeinquisitiveintoanybody'sprivateaffairs;buthopes,thatthecircumstancesofthecase,andthestrangeconductofmyfriends,willexcusehim;especiallywhensomuchdependsuponhisknowingthemovementsofafamilysoviolentlybent,bymeasuresrightorwrong,tocarrytheirpointagainstme,inmalicetohim.People,hesays,whoactlikeangels,oughttohaveangelstodealwith.Forhispart,hehasnotyetlearnedthedifficultlessonofreturninggoodforevil:andshallthinkhimselfthelessencouragedtolearnitbythetreatmentIhavemetwithfromtheverypersonswhowouldtrampleuponhim,astheydouponme,werehetolayhimselfundertheirfeet.

'Heexcuseshimselfforthelibertiesheownshehasheretoforetakenin

ridiculingthemarriage-state.Itisasubject,hesays,thathehasnotoflatetreatedsolightly.Heownsittobesotrite,sobeatenatopicwithalllibertinesandwitlings;sofrothy,soempty,sonothingmeaning,soworn-outatheme,thatheisheartilyashamedofhimself,evertohavemadeithis.Hecondemnsitasastupidreflectionuponthelawsandgoodorderofsociety,anduponaman'sownancestors:andinhimself,whohassomereasontovaluehimselfuponhisdescentandalliances,morecensurable,thaninthosewhohavenotthesameadvantagestoboastof.Hepromisestobemorecircumspectthanever,bothinhiswordsandactions,thathemaybemoreandmoreworthyofmyapprobation;andthathemaygiveanassurancebeforehand,thatafoundationislaidinhismindformyexampletoworkuponwithequalreputationandeffecttousboth;--ifhemaybesohappytocallmehis.

'Hegivesmeup,asabsolutelylost,ifIgotomyuncleAntony's;thecloseconfinement;themoatedhouse;thechapel;theimplacablenessofmybrotherandsister;andtheirpowerovertherestofthefamily,hesetsforthinstronglights;andplainlysays,thathemusthaveastruggletopreventmybeingcarriedthither.'

Yourkind,yourgenerousendeavourstointerestyourmotherinmybehalf,will,Ihope,preventthoseharsherextremitiestowhichImightbeotherwisedriven.AndtoyouIwillfly,ifpermitted,andkeepallmypromises,ofnotcorrespondingwithanybody,notseeinganybody,butbyyourmother'sdirectionandyours.

Iwillcloseanddepositatthisplace.Itisnotnecessarytosay,howmuchIam

YoureveraffectionateandobligedCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXXII



MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE

Iamgladmypapersaresafeinyourhands.Iwillmakeitmyendeavourtodeserveyourgoodopinion,thatImaynotatoncedisgraceyourjudgment,andmyownheart.

IhaveanotherletterfromMr.Lovelace.HeisextremelyapprehensiveofthemeetingIamtohavewithMr.Solmesto-morrow.Hesays,'thattheairsthatwretchgiveshimselfontheoccasionaddtohisconcern;anditiswithinfinitedifficultythatheprevailsuponhimselfnottomakehimavisittolethimknowwhathemayexpect,ifcompulsionbeusedtowardsmeinhisfavour.Heassuresme,thatSolmeshasactuallytalkedwithtradesmenofnewequipages,andnamesthepeopleintownwithwhomhehastreated:thathehaseven'[Wasthereeversuchahorridwretch!]'allottedthisandthatapartmentinhishouse,foranursery,andotheroffices.'

HowshallIbeartohearsuchacreaturetalkoflovetome?Ishallbeoutofallpatiencewithhim.Besides,Ithoughtthathedidnotdaretomakeortalkoftheseimpudentpreparations.--Soinconsistentassucharewithmybrother'sviews--butIflythesubject.

UponthisconfidenceofSolmes,youwilllesswonderatthatof

Lovelace,'inpressingmeinthenameofallhisfamily,toescapefromsodeterminedaviolenceasisintendedtobeofferedtomeatmyuncle's:thattheforwardcontrivershouldproposeLordM.'schariotandsixtobeatthestilethatleadsuptothelonelycoppiceadjoiningtoourpaddock.Youwillseehowaudaciouslyhementionssettlementsreadydrawn;horsemenreadytomount;andoneofhiscousinsMontaguetobeinthechariot,orattheGeorgeintheneighbouringvillage,waitingtoaccompanymetoLordM.'s,ortoLadyBetty'sorLadySarah's,ortotown,asIplease;anduponsuchorders,orconditions,andundersuchrestrictions,astohimself,asIshallprescribe.'

Youwillseehowhethreatens,'Towatchandwaylaythem,andtorescuemeashecallsit,byanarmedforceoffriendsandservants,ifthey

attempttocarrymeagainstmywilltomyuncle's;andthis,whetherIgivemyconsenttotheenterprise,ornot:--sinceheshallhavenohopesifIamoncethere.'

Omydearfriend!Whocanthinkofthesethings,andnotbeextremelymiserableinherapprehensions!

Thismischievoussex!WhathadItodowithanyofthem;ortheywithme?--Ihaddeservedthis,wereitbymyownseeking,bymyowngiddiness,thatIhadbroughtmyselfintothissituation--Iwishwithallmyheart--buthowfoolishweareapttowishwhenwefindourselvesunhappy,andknownothowtohelpourselves!

Onyourmother'sgoodness,however,ismyreliance.IfIcanbutavoidbeingprecipitatedoneitherhand,tillmycousinMordenarrives,areconciliationmustfollow;andallwillbehappy.

IhavedepositedaletterforMr.Lovelace;inwhich'Ichargehim,ashewouldnotdisobligemeforever,toavoidanyrashstep,anyvisittoMr.Solmes,whichmaybefollowedbyactsofviolence.'

Ire-assurehim,'ThatIwillsoonerdiethanbethatman'swife.



'Whateverbemyusage,whatevershallbetheresultoftheapprehendedinterview,Iinsistuponitthathepresumenottoofferviolencetoanyofmyfriends:andexpressmyselfhighlydispleased,thatheshouldpresumeuponsuchaninterestinmyesteem,astothinkhimselfentitledtodisputemyfather'sauthorityinmyremovaltomyuncle's;althoughItellhim,thatIwillomitneitherprayersnorcontrivance,eventothemakingmyselfill,toavoidgoing.'

To-morrowisTuesday!Howsooncomesuponusthedaywedread!--Ohthatadeepsleepoftwentyfourhourswouldseizemyfaculties!--ButthenthenextdaywouldbeTuesday,astoalltheeffectsandpurposesforwhichIsomuchdreadit.Ifthisreachyoubeforetheeventofthesomuchapprehendedinterviewcanbeknown,prayfor


LETTERXXXIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETUESDAYMORNING,SIXO'CLOCK.

Thedayiscome!--Iwishitwerehappilyover.Ihavehadawretchednight.HardlyawinkhaveIslept,ruminatingupontheapproachinginterview.Theverydistanceoftimetowhichtheyconsented,hasaddedsolemnitytothemeeting,whichotherwiseitwouldnothavehad.

Athoughtfulmindisnotablessingtobecoveted,unlessithadsuchahappyvivacitywithitasyours:avivacity,whichenablesapersontoenjoythepresent,withoutbeingover-anxiousaboutthefuture.

TUESDAY,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

IhavehadavisitfrommyauntHervey.Betty,inheralarmingway,told

me,Ishouldhavealadytobreakfastwithme,whomIlittleexpected;givingmetobelieveitwasmymother.Thisflutteredmesomuch,onhearingaladycomingup-stairs,supposingitwasshe,(andnotknowinghowtoaccountforhermotivesinsuchavisit,afterIhadbeensolongbanishedfromherpresence,)thatmyaunt,atherentrance,tooknoticeofmydisorder;and,afterherfirstsalutation,

Why,Miss,saidshe,youseemsurprised.--Uponmyword,youthoughtfulyoungladieshavestrangeapprehensionsaboutnothingatall.What,takingmyhand,canbethematterwithyou?--Why,mydear,tremble,tremble,tremble,atthisrate?You'llnotbefittobeseenbyanybody.Come,mylove,kissingmycheek,pluckupacourage.Bythisneedlessflutterontheapproachinginterview,whenitisoveryouwill

judgeofyourotherantipathies,andlaughatyourselfforgivingwaytosoapprehensiveanimagination.

Isaid,thatwhateverwestronglyimagined,wasinitseffectatthetimemorethanimaginary,althoughtoothersitmightnotappearso:thatIhadnotrestedonehourallnight:thattheimpertinentsetoverme,bygivingmeroomtothinkmymotherwascomingup,hadsomuchdisconcertedme,thatIshouldbeverylittlequalifiedtoseeanybodyIdislikedtosee.



Therewasnoaccountingforthesethings,shesaid.Mr.SolmeslastnightsupposedheshouldbeunderasmuchagitationasIcouldbe.

Whoisit,then,Madam,thatsoreluctantaninterviewonbothsides,istoplease?

Bothofyou,mydear,Ihope,afterthefirstflurriesareover.Themostapprehensivebeginnings,Ihaveoftenknown,makethehappiestconclusions.

Therecanbebutonehappyconclusiontotheintendedvisit;andthatis,Thatbothsidesmaybesatisfieditwillbethelast.

Shethenrepresentedhowunhappyitwouldbeforme,ifIdidnotsuffermyselftobeprevailedupon:shepressedmetoreceiveMr.Solmesasbecamemyeducation:anddeclared,thathisapprehensionsontheexpectationhehadofseeingme,wereowingtohisloveandhisawe;intimating,Thattrueloveiseveraccompaniedbyfearandreverence;andthatnoblustering,bravinglovercoulddeserveencouragement.

TothisIanswered,Thatconstitutionwastobeconsidered:thatamanofspiritwouldactlikeone,andcoulddonothingmeanly:thatacreepingmindwouldcreepintoeverything,whereithadaviewtoobtainabenefitbyit;andinsult,whereithadpower,andnothingto

expect:thatthiswasnotapointnowtobedeterminedwithme:thatIhadsaidasmuchasIcouldpossiblysayonthesubject:thatthisinterviewwasimposeduponme:bythose,indeed,whohadarighttoimposeit:butthatitwassorelyagainstmywillcompliedwith:andforthisreason,thattherewasaversion,notwilfulness,inthecase;andsonothingcouldcomeofit,butapretence,asImuchapprehended,tousemestillmoreseverelythanIhadbeenused.

Shewasthenpleasedtochargemewithprepossessionandprejudice.Sheexpatiateduponthedutyofachild.Sheimputedtomeabundanceoffinequalities;buttoldme,that,inthiscase,thatofpersuadablenesswaswantingtocrownall.Sheinsisteduponthemeritofobedience,althoughmywillwerenotinit.FromalittlehintIgaveofmystillgreater

disliketoseeMr.Solmes,onaccountofthefreedomIhadtreatedhimwith,shetalkedtomeofhisforgivingdisposition;ofhisinfiniterespectforme;andIcannottellwhatofthissort.

Ineverfoundmyselfsofretfulinmylife:andsoItoldmyaunt;andbeggedherpardonforit.Butshesaid,itwaswelldisguisedthen;forshesawnothingbutlittletremors,whichwereusualwithyoungladieswhentheyweretoseetheiradmirersforthefirsttime;andthismightbecalledso,withrespecttome;sinceitwasthefirsttimeIhadconsentedtoseeMr.Solmesinthatlight--butthatthenext--

How,Madam,interruptedI--Isitthenimagined,thatIgivethismeetingonthatfooting?

Tobesureitis,Child.

Tobesureitis,Madam!ThenIdoyetdesiretodeclineit.--Iwillnot,Icannot,seehim,ifheexpectsmetoseehimuponthoseterms.

Niceness,punctilio,merepunctilio,Niece!--Canyouthinkthatyourappointment,(day,place,hour,)andknowingwhattheintentofitwas,istobeinterpretedawayasamereceremony,andtomeannothing?--Letmetellyou,mydear,yourfather,mother,uncles,everybody,respect



thisappointmentasthefirstactofyourcompliancewiththeirwills:andthereforerecedenot,Idesireyou;butmakeameritofwhatcannotbeavoided.

Othehideouswretch!--Pardonme,Madam.--Itobesupposedtomeetsuchamanasthat,withsuchaview!andhetobearmedwithsuchanexpectation!--Butitcannotbethatheexpectsit,whateverothersmaydo.--Itisplainhecannot,bythefearshetellyouallheshallhavetoseeme.Ifhishopeweresoaudacious,hecouldnotfearsomuch.

Indeed,hehasthishope;andjustlyfoundedtoo.Buthisfeararisesfromhisreverence,asItoldyoubefore.

Hisreverence!--hisunworthiness!--'Tissoapparent,thatevenhehimselfseesit,aswellaseverybodyelse.Hencehisofferstopurchaseme!Henceitis,thatsettlementsaretomakeupforacknowledgedwantofmerit!

Hisunworthiness,sayyou!--Notsofast,mydear.Doesnotthislooklikesettingahighvalueuponyourself?--Weallhaveexaltednotionsofyourmerit,Niece;butnevertheless,itwouldnotbewrong,ifyouweretoarrogatelesstoyourself;thoughmoreweretobeyourduethanyourfriendsattributetoyou.

Iamsorry,Madam,itshouldbethoughtarroganceinme,tosupposeIamnotworthyofabettermanthanMr.Solmes,bothastopersonandmind:andastofortune,IthankGodIdespiseallthatcanbeinsisteduponinhisfavourfromsopooraplea.

Shetoldme,Itsignifiednothingtotalk:Iknewtheexpectationofeveryone.

IndeedIdidnot.ItwasimpossibleIcouldthinkofsuchastrangeexpectation,uponacompliancemadeonlytoshewIwouldcomplyinallthatwasinmypowertocomplywith.

Imighteasily,shesaid,havesupposed,thateveryonethoughtIwas

beginningtoobligethemall,bythekindbehaviourofmybrotherandsistertomeinthegarden,lastSunday;bymysister'svisittomeafterwardsinmychamber(althoughbothmorestifflyreceivedbyme,thanwereeitherwishedorexpected);bymyuncleHarlowe'saffectionatevisittomethesameafternoon,notindeedsoverygratefullyreceivedasIusedtoreceivehisfavours:--butthishekindlyimputedtothedispleasureIhadconceivedatmyconfinement,andtomyintentiontocomeoffbydegrees,thatImightkeepmyselfincountenanceformypastopposition.

See,mydear,thelowcunningofthatSunday-management,whichthensomuchsurprisedme!AndseethereasonwhyDr.Lewenwasadmittedtovisitme,yetforboretoenteruponasubjectaboutwhichIthoughthe

cametotalktome!--ForitseemstherewasnooccasiontodisputewithmeonthepointIwastobesupposedtohaveconcededto.--See,also,howunfairlymybrotherandsistermusthaverepresentedtheirpretendedkindness,when(thoughthehadanendtoanswerbyappearingkind)theirantipathytomeseemstohavebeensostrong,thattheycouldnothelpinsultingmebytheirarm-in-armlover-likebehaviourtoeachother;asmysisterafterwardslikewisedid,whenshecametoborrowmyKempis.

Iliftedupmyhandsandeyes!Icannot,saidI,givethistreatmentaname!Theendsounlikelytobeansweredbymeanssolow!Iknowwhose



thewholeis!HethatcouldgetmyuncleHarlowetocontributehispart,andtoprocuretheacquiescenceoftherestofmyfriendstoit,musthavethepowertodoanythingwiththemagainstme.

Againmyaunttoldme,thattalkingandinvective,nowIhadgiventheexpectation,wouldsignifynothing.ShehopedIwouldnotsheweveryone,thattheyhadbeentooforwardintheirconstructionsofmydesiretoobligethem.Shecouldassureme,thatitwouldbeworseforme,ifnowIreceded,thanifIhadneveradvanced.

Advanced,Madam!Howcanyousayadvanced?Why,thisisatrickuponme!Apoorlowtrick!Pardonme,Madam,Idon'tsayyouhaveahandinit.--But,mydearestAunt,tellme,Willnotmymotherbepresentatthisdreadedinterview?Willshenotsofarfavourme?Wereitbuttoqualify--

Qualify,mydear,interruptedshe--yourmother,andyouruncleHarlowewouldnotbepresentonthisoccasionfortheworld--

Othen,Madam,howcantheylookuponmyconsenttothisinterviewasanadvance?

Myauntwasdispleasedatthishome-push.MissClary,saidshe,thereisnodealingwithyou.Itwouldbehappyforyou,andforeverybodyelse,

wereyourobedienceasreadyasyourwit.Iwillleaveyou--

Notinanger,Ihope,Madam,interruptedI--allImeantwas,toobserve,thatletthemeetingissueasitmay,andasitmustissue,itcannotbeadisappointmenttoanybody.

OMiss!youseemtobeaverydeterminedyoungcreature.Mr.Solmeswillbehereatyourtime:andrememberoncemore,thatuponthecomingafternoondependuponthepeaceofyourwholefamily,andyourownhappiness.

Andsosaying,downshehurried.

HereIwillstop.InwhatwayIshallresume,orwhen,isnotlefttometoconjecture;muchlessdetermine.Iamexcessivelyuneasy!--Nogoodnewsfromyourmother,Idoubt!--Iwilldepositthusfar,forfearoftheworst.

Adieu,mybest,rather,myonlyfriend!CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXXIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETUESDAYEVENING;ANDCONTINUED

THROUGHTHENIGHT.

Well,mydear,Iamalive,andhere!buthowlongIshallbeeitherhere,oralive,Icannotsay.Ihaveavastdealtowrite;andperhapsshallhavelittletimeforit.Nevertheless,ImusttellyouhowthesaucyBettyagaindiscomposedme,whenshecameupwiththisSolmes'smessage;although,asyouwillrememberfrommylast,Iwasinawaybeforethatwantednoadditionalsurprises.

Miss!Miss!Miss!criedshe,asfastasshecouldspeak,withherarms



spreadabroad,andallherfingersdistended,andheldup,willyoubepleasedtowalkdownintoyourownparlour?--Thereiseverybody,Iwillassureyouinfullcongregation!--AndthereisMr.Solmes,asfineasalord,withacharmingwhiteperuke,finelacedshirtandruffles,coattrimmedwithsilver,andawaistcoatstandingonendwithlace!--Quitehandsome,believeme!--Youneversawsuchanalteration!--Ah!Miss,shakingherhead,'tispityyouhavesaidsomuchagainsthim!butyouwillknowhowtocomeoffforallthat!--Ihopeitwillnotbetoolate!

Impertinence!saidI--Wertthoubidtocomeupinthisflutteringway?--andItookupmyfan,andfannedmyself.

Blessme!saidshe,howsoonthesefineyoungladieswillbeputintoflusterations!--Imeannoteithertooffendorfrightenyou,Iamsure.--

Everybodythere,doyousay?--Whodoyoucalleverybody?

Why,Miss,holdingoutherleftpalmopened,andwithaflourish,andasaucyleer,pattingitwiththeforefingeroftheother,ateverymentionedperson,thereisyourpapa!--thereisyourmamma!--thereisyouruncleHarlowe!--thereisyouruncleAntony!--yourauntHervey!--myyounglady!--andmyyoungmaster!--andMr.Solmes,withtheairofagreatcourtier,standingup,becausehenamedyou:--Mrs.Betty,saidhe,

[thentheapeofawenchbowedandscraped,asawkwardlyasIsupposethepersondidwhomsheendeavouredtoimitate,]praygivemyhumbleservicetoMiss,andtellher,Iwaithercommands.

Wasnotthisawickedwench?--Itrembledso,Icouldhardlystand.Iwasspitefulenoughtosay,thatheryoungmistress,Isupposed,bidherputontheseairs,tofrightenmeoutofacapacityofbehavingsocalmlyasshouldprocurememyuncles'compassion.

Whatawaydoyouputyourselfin,Miss,saidtheinsolent!--Come,dearMadam,takingupmyfan,whichIhadlaiddown,andapproachingmewithit,fanning,shallI--

Noneofthyimpertinence!--Butsayyou,allmyfriendsarebelowwithhim?AndamItoappearbeforethemall?

Ican'ttellifthey'llstaywhenyoucome.IthinktheyseemedtobemovingwhenMr.Solmesgavemehisorders.--ButwhatanswershallIcarrytothe'squire?

Say,Ican'tgo!--butyetwhen'tisover,'tisover!--Say,I'llwaitupon--I'llattend--I'llcomepresently--sayanything;Icarenotwhat--butgivememyfan,andfetchmeaglassofwater--

Shewent,andIfannedmyselfallthetime;forIwasinaflame;andhemmed,andstruggledwithmyselfallIcould;and,whenshereturned,

drankmywater;andfindingnohopepresentlyofaquieterheart,Isentherdown,andfollowedherwithprecipitation;tremblingso,that,hadInothurried,IquestionifIcouldhavegotdownatall.--Ohmydear,whatapoor,passivemachineisthebodywhenthemindisdisordered!

Therearetwodoorstomyparlour,asIusedtocallit.AsIenteredone,myfriendshurriedouttheother.Ijustsawthegownofmysister,thelastwhoslidaway.MyuncleAntonywentoutwiththem:buthestaidnotlong,asyoushallhear;andtheyallremainedinthenextparlour,awainscotpartitiononlypartingthetwo.Irememberthembothinone:



buttheywereseparatedinfavourofusgirls,foreachtoreceivehervisitorsinatherpleasure.

Mr.SolmesapproachedmeassoonasIentered,cringingtotheground,avisibleconfusionineveryfeatureofhisface.Afterhalfadozenchoaked-upMadams,--hewasverysorry--hewasverymuchconcerned--itwashismisfortune--andtherehestopped,beingunablepresentlytocompleteasentence.

Thisgavemealittlemorepresenceofmind.Cowardiceinafoebegetscourageinone'sself--Iseethatplainlynow--yetperhaps,atbottom,thenew-madebravoisagreatercowardthantheother.

Iturnedfromhim,andseatedmyselfinoneofthefiresidechairs,fanningmyself.Ihavesincerecollected,thatImusthavelookedverysaucily.CouldIhavehadanythoughtsoftheman,Ishouldhavedespisedmyselfforit.Butwhatcanbesaidinthecaseofanaversionsoperfectlysincere?

Hehemmedfiveorsixtimes,asIhaddoneabove;andtheseproducedasentence--thatIcouldnotbutseehisconfusion.Thissentenceproducedtwoorthreemore.Ibelievemyaunthadbeenhistutoress;foritwashisawe,hisreverenceforsosuperlativeaLady[Iassureyou!]Andhehoped--hehoped--threetimeshehoped,beforehetoldmewhat--at

lastitcameout,thatIwastoogenerous(generosity,hesaid,wasmycharacter)todespisehimforsuch--forsuch--forsuch--truetokensofhislove.

Idoindeedseeyouundersomeconfusion,Sir;andthisgivesmehope,thatalthoughIhavebeencompelled,asImaycallit,togivewaytothisinterview,itmaybeattendedwithhappiereffectsthanIhadapprehendedfromit.

Hehadhemmedhimselfintomorecourage.

Youcouldnot,Madam,imagineanycreaturesoblindtoyourmerits,andsolittleattractedbythem,aseasilytoforegotheinterestand

approbationhewashonouredwithbyyourworthyfamily,whilehehadanyhopegivenhim,thatonedayhemight,byhisperseveranceandzeal,expectyourfavour.

Iambuttoomuchaware,Sir,thatitisupontheinterestandapprobationyoumention,thatyoubuildsuchhope.Itisimpossibleotherwise,thataman,whohasanyregardforhisownhappiness,wouldpersevereagainstsuchdeclarationsasIhavemade,andthinkmyselfobligedtomake,injusticetoyou,aswellastomyself.

Hehadseenmanyinstances,hetoldme,andhadheardofmore,whereladieshadseemedasaverse,andyethadbeeninduced,somebymotivesofcompassion,othersbypersuasionoffriends,tochangetheirminds;

andhadbeenveryhappyafterwards:andhehopedthismightbethecasehere.

Ihavenonotion,Sir,ofcompliment,inanarticleofsuchimportanceasthis:yetIamsorrytobeobligedtospeakmymindsoplainlyasIamgoingtodo.--Knowthen,thatIhaveinvincibleobjections,Sir,toyouraddress.IhaveavowedthemwithanearnestnessthatIbelieveiswithoutexample:andwhy?--becauseIbelieveitiswithoutexamplethatanyyoungcreature,circumstancedasIam,wasevertreatedasIhavebeentreatedonyouraccount.



Itishoped,Madam,thatyourconsentmayintimebeobtained--thatisthehope;andIshallbeamiserablemanifitcannot.

Better,Sir,givemeleavetosay,youweremiserablebyyourself,thanthatyoushouldmaketwoso.

Youmayhaveheard,Madam,thingstomydisadvantage.Nomaniswithoutenemies.Bepleasedtoletmeknowwhatyouhaveheard,andIwilleitherownmyfaults,andamend;orIwillconvinceyouthatIambaselybespattered:andonceIunderstandyouoverheardsomethingthatIshouldsay,thatgaveyouoffence:unguardedly,perhaps;butnothingbutwhatshewedmyvalue,andthatIwouldpersistsolongasIhavehope.

Ihaveindeedheardmanythingstoyourdisadvantage:--andIwasfarfrombeingpleasedwithwhatIoverheardfallfromyourlips:butasyouwerenotanythingtome,andnevercouldbe,itwasnotformetobeconcernedabouttheoneortheother.

Iamsorry,Madam,tohearthis.Iamsureyoushouldnottellmeofmyfault,thatIwouldbeunwillingtocorrectinmyself.

Then,Sir,correctthisfault--donotwishtohaveayoungcreaturecompelledinthemostmaterialarticleofherlife,forthesakeof

motivesshedespises;andinbehalfofapersonshecannotvalue:onethathas,inherownright,sufficienttosetheraboveallyouroffers,andaspiritthatcravesnomorethanwhatithas,tomakeitselfeasyandhappy.

Idon'tsee,Madam,howyouwouldbehappy,ifIweretodiscontinuemyaddress:for--

Thatisnothingtoyou,Sir,interruptedI:doyoubutwithdrawyourpretensions:andifitwillbethoughtfittostartupanothermanformypunishment,theblamewillnotlieatyourdoor.Youwillbeentitledtomythanks,andmostheartilywillIthankyou.

Hepaused,andseemedalittleataloss:andIwasgoingtogivehimstillstrongerandmorepersonalinstancesofmyplain-dealing;whenincamemyuncleAntony.

So,Niece,so!--sittinginstatelikeaqueen,givingaudience!haughtyaudience!--Mr.Solmes,whystandyouthushumbly?--Whythisdistance,man?Ihopetoseeyouuponamoreintimatefootingbeforewepart.

Iarose,assoonasheentered--andapproachedhimwithabendknee:Letme,Sir,reverencemyuncle,whomIhavenotforsolongtimeseen!--Letme,Sir,bespeakyourfavourandcompassion.

Youwillhavethefavourofeverybody,Niece,whenyouknowhowto

deserveit.

IfeverIdeservedit,Ideserveitnow.--Ihavebeenhardlyused!--Ihavemadeproposalsthatoughttobeaccepted,andsuchaswouldnothavebeenaskedofme.WhathaveIdone,thatImustbebanishedandconfinedthusdisgracefully?thatImustnotbeallowedtohaveanyfree-willinanarticlethatconcernsmypresentandfuturehappiness?--

MissClary,repliedmyuncle,youhavehadyourwillineverythingtillnow;andthismakesyourparents'willsitsoheavyuponyou.



Mywill,Sir!bepleasedtoallowmetoask,whatwasmywilltillnow,butmyfather'swill,andyoursandmyuncleHarlowe'swill?--Hasitnotbeenmypridetoobeyandoblige?--Ineveraskedafavour,thatIdidnotfirstsitdownandconsider,ifitwerefittobegranted.Andnow,toshewmyobedience,haveInotofferedtolivesingle?--HaveInotofferedtodivestmyselfofmygrandfather'sbounty,andtocastmyselfuponmyfather's!andthattobewithdrawn,wheneverIdisobligehim?Why,dear,goodSir,amItobemadeunhappyinapointsoconcerningmyhappiness?

Yourgrandfather'sestateisnotwishedfromyou.Youarenotdesiredtoliveasinglelife.Youknowourmotives,andweguessatyours.And,letmetellyou,wellasweloveyou,weshouldmuchsoonerchoosetofollowyoutothegrave,thanthatyoursshouldtakeplace.

Iwillengagenevertomarryanyman,withoutmyfather'sconsent,andyours,Sir,andeverybody's.DidIevergiveyoucausetodoubtmyword?--AndhereIwilltakethesolemnestoaththatcanbeofferedme--

Thatisthematrimonialone,interruptedhe,withabigvoice--andtothisgentleman.--Itshall,itshall,cousinClary!--Andthemoreyouopposeit,theworseitshallbeforyou.

This,andbeforetheman,whoseemedtoassumecourageuponit,highlyprovokedme.

Then,Sir,youshallsoonerfollowmetothegraveindeed.--Iwillundergothecruelestdeath--Iwillevenconsenttoenterintothatawfulvaultofmyancestors,andhavethatbrickedupuponme,ratherthanconsenttobemiserableforlife.And,Mr.Solmes,turningtohim,takenoticeofwhatIsay:Thisoranydeath,Iwillsoonerundergo[thatwillquicklybeover]thanbeyours,andforeverunhappy!

Myunclewasinaterriblerageuponthis.HetookMr.Solmesbythehand,shockedasthemanseemedtobe,anddrewhimtothewindow--Don'tbesurprised,Mr.Solmes,don'tbeconcernedatthis.Weknow,andrapt

outasadoath,whatwomenwillsayintheirwrath:thewindisnotmoreboisterous,normorechangeable;andagainhesworetothat.--Ifyouthinkitworthwhiletowaitforsuchanungratefulgirlasthis,I'llengageshe'llveerabout;I'llengagesheshall.Andathirdtimeviolentlysworetoit.

Thencominguptome(whohadthrownmyself,verymuchdisorderedbymyvehemence,intothemostdistantwindow)asifhewouldhavebeatme;hisfaceviolentlyworking,hishandsclinched,andhisteethset--Yes,yes,yes,youshall,CousinClary,beMr.Solmes'swife;wewillseethatyoushall;andthisinoneweekatfarthest.--Andthenafourthtimeheconfirmedit!--Poorgentleman!howheswore!

Iamsorry,Sir,saidI,toseeyouinsuchapassion.Allthis,Iambuttoosensible,isowingtomybrother'sinstigation;whowouldnothimselfgivetheinstanceofdutythatissoughttobeexactedfromme.Itisbestformetowithdraw.Ishallbutprovokeyoufarther,Ifear:foralthoughIwouldgladlyobeyyouifIcould,yetthisisapointdeterminedwithme;andIcannotsomuchaswishtogetoverit.

HowcouldIavoidmakingthesestrongdeclarations,themaninpresence?

IwasgoingoutatthedoorIcameinat;thegentlemenlookinguponone



another,asifreferringtoeachotherwhattodo,orwhethertoengagemystay,orsuffermetogo;andwhomshouldImeetatthedoorbutmybrother,whohadheardallthathadpassed!

Hebolteduponmesounexpectedly,thatIwassurprised.Hetookmyhand,andgraspeditwithviolence:Return,prettyMiss,saidhe;return,ifyouplease.Youshallnotyetbebrickedup.Yourinstigatingbrothershallsaveyoufromthat!--Othoufallenangel,saidhe,peeringuptomydowncastface--suchasweetnesshere!--andsuchanobstinacythere!tappingmyneck--Othoutruewoman--thoughsoyoung!--Butyoushallnothaveyourrake:rememberthat;inaloudwhisper,asifhewouldbedecentlyindecentbeforetheman.Youshallberedeemed,andthisworthygentleman,raisinghisvoice,willbesogoodastoredeemyoufromruin--andhereafteryouwillblesshim,orhavereasontoblesshim,forhiscondescension;thatwasthebrutalbrother'sword!

HehadledmeuptomeetMr.Solmes,whosehandhetook,asheheldmine.Here,Sir,saidhe,taketherebeldaughter'shand:Igiveityounow:sheshallconfirmthegiftinaweek'stime;orwillhaveneitherfather,mother,noruncles,toboastof.

Isnatchedmyhandaway.

Hownow,Miss--!

Andhownow,Sir!--Whatrighthaveyoutodisposeofmyhand?--Ifyougoverneverybodyelse,youshallnotgovernme;especiallyinapointsoimmediatelyrelativetomyself,andinwhichyouneitherhave,norevershallhave,anythingtodo.

Iwouldhavebrokenfromhim;butheheldmyhandtoofast.

Letmego,Sir!--WhyamIthustreated?--Youdesign,Idoubtnot,withyourunmanlygripings,tohurtme,asyoudo:ButagainIask,whereforeisitthatIamtobethustreatedbyyou?

Hetossedmyhandfromhimwithawhirl,thatpainedmyveryshoulder.I

wept,andheldmyotherhandtothepart.

Mr.Solmesblamedhim.Sodidmyuncle.

Hehadnopatience,hesaid,withsuchaperverseone;andtothinkofthereflectionsuponhimself,beforeheentered.HehadonlygivenmebackthehandIhadnotdeservedheshouldtouch.Itwasoneofmyartstopretendtobesopained.

Mr.Solmessaid,hewouldsoonergiveupallhishopesofme,thanthatIshouldbeusedunkindly.--Andheofferedtopleadinmybehalftothemboth;andappliedhimselfwithabow,asifformyapprobationofhisinterposition.

Interposenot,Mr.Solmes,saidI,tosavemefrommybrother'sviolence.Icannotwishtooweanobligationtoamanwhoseungenerousperseveranceistheoccasionofthatviolence,andofallmydisgracefulsufferings.

Howgenerousinyou,Mr.Solmes,saidmybrother,tointerposesokindlyinbehalfofsuchanimmovablespirit!Ibegofyoutopersistinyouraddress--theunnaturalbrothercalleditaddress!--Forallourfamily'ssake,andforhersaketoo,ifyouloveher,persist!--Letussaveher,



ifpossible,fromruiningherself.Lookatherperson![andhegazedatme,fromheadtofoot,pointingatme,ashereferredtoMr.Solmes,]thinkofherfinequalities!--alltheworldconfessesthem,andweallgloriedinhertillnow.Sheisworthsaving;and,aftertwoorthreemorestruggles,shewillbeyours,andtakemywordforit,willrewardyourpatience.Talknot,therefore,ofgivingupyourhopes,foralittlewhiningfolly.Shehasentereduponaparade,whichsheknowsnothowtoquitwithafemalegrace.Youhaveonlyherprideandherobstinacytoencounter:anddependuponit,youwillbeashappyamaninafortnight,asamarriedmancanbe.

Youhaveheardmesay,mydear,thatmybrotherhasalwaystakenalibertytoreflectuponoursex,anduponmatrimony!--Hewouldnot,ifhedidnotthinkitwittodoso!--JustaspoorMr.Wyerley,andothers,whomwebothknow,profaneandridiculescripture;andalltoevincetheirpretensionstothesamepernicioustalent,andtohaveitthoughttheyaretoowisetobereligious.

Mr.Solmes,withaself-satisfiedair,presumptuouslysaid,hewouldsuffereverything,toobligemyfamily,andtosaveme:anddoubtednottobeamplyrewarded,couldhebesohappyastosucceedatlast.

Mr.Solmes,saidI,ifyouhaveanyregardforyourownhappiness,(mineisoutofthequestionwithyou,youhavenotgenerosityenoughtomake

thatanypartofyourscheme,)prosecutenofatheryouraddress,asmybrothercallsit.Itisbuttoojusttotellyou,thatIcouldnotbringmyheartsomuchastothinkofyou,withouttheutmostdisapprobation,beforeIwasusedasIhavebeen:--AndcanyouthinkIamsuchaslave,suchapoorslave,astobebroughttochangemymindbytheviolentusageIhavemetwith?

Andyou,Sir,turningtomybrother,ifyouthinkthatmeeknessalwaysindicatestameness;andthatthereisnomagnanimitywithoutbluster;ownyourselfmistakenforonce:foryoushallhavereasontojudgefromhenceforth,thatagenerousmindisnottobeforced;andthat--

Nomore,saidtheimperiouswretch,Ichargeyou,liftinguphishands

andeyes.Thenturningtomyuncle,Doyouhear,Sir?thisisyouroncefaultlessniece!Thisisyourfavourite!

Mr.Solmeslookedasifheknownotwhattothinkofthematter;andhadIbeenleftalonewithhim,IsawplainlyIcouldhavegotridofhimeasilyenough.

Myunclecametome,lookingupalsotomyface,anddowntomyfeet:andisitpossiblethiscanbeyou?Allthisviolencefromyou,MissClary?

Yes,itispossible,Sir--and,Iwillpresumetosay,thisvehemenceonmysideisbutthenaturalconsequenceoftheusageIhavemetwith,and

therudenessIamtreatedwith,eveninyourpresence,byabrother,whohasnomorerighttocontroulme,thanIhavetocontroulhim.

Thisusage,cousinClary,wasnottillallothermeansweretriedwithyou.

Tried!towhatend,Sir?--DoIcontendforanythingmorethanamerenegative?Youmay,Sir,[turningtoMr.Solmes,]possiblyyoumaybeinducedtherathertoperseverethusungenerously,astheusageIhavemetwithforyoursake,andwhatyouhavenowseenofferedtomebymy



brother,willshewyouwhatIcanbear,weremyevildestinyevertomakemeyours.

Lord,Madam,criedSolmes,[allthistimedistortedintotwentydifferentattitudes,asmybrotherandmyunclewereblessingthemselves,andspeakingonlytoeachotherbytheireyes,andbytheirworkingfeatures;Lord,Madam,]whataconstructionisthis!

Afairconstruction,Sir,interruptedI:forhethatcanseeaperson,whomhepretendstovalue,thustreated,andapproveofit,mustbecapableoftreatingherthushimself.Andthatyoudoapproveofit,isevidentbyyourdeclaredperseverance,whenyouknowIamconfined,banished,andinsulted,inordertomakemeconsenttobewhatInevercanbe:andthis,letmetellyou,asIhaveoftentoldothers,notfrommotivesofobstinacy,butaversion.

Excuseme,Sir,turningtomyuncle--toyou,astomyfather'sbrother,Ioweduty.Ibegyourpardon,butmybrother;heshallnotconstrainme.--And[turningtotheunnaturalwretch--Iwillcallhimwretch]knityourbrows,Sir,andfrownallyouwill,Iwillaskyou,wouldyou,inmycase,makethesacrificesIamwillingtomake,toobtaineveryone'sfavour?Ifnot,whatrighthaveyoutotreatmethus;andtoprocuremetobetreatedasIhavebeenforsolongatimepast?

Ihadputmyselfbythistimeintogreatdisorder:theyweresilent,andseemedbytheirlookstowanttotalktooneanother(walkingaboutinviolentdisorderstoo)betweenwhiles.Isatdownfanningmyself,(asithappened,againsttheglass,)andIcouldperceivemycolourgoandcome;andbeingsicktotheveryheart,andapprehensiveoffainting,Irung.

Bettycamein.Icalledforaglassofwater,anddrankit:butnobodymindedme.Iheardmybrotherpronouncethewords,Art!FemaleArt!toSolmes;which,togetherwiththeapprehensionthathewouldnotbewelcome,Isupposekepthimback.ElseIcouldseethemanwasaffected.And(stillfearingIshouldfaint)Iarose,andtakingholdofBetty'sarm,letmeholdbyyou,Betty,saidI:letmewithdraw.Andmoved

withtremblingfeettowardsthedoor,andthenturnedabout,andmadeacourtesytomyuncle--Permitme,Sir,saidI,towithdraw.

Whithergoyou,Niece?saidmyuncle:wehavenotdonewithyouyet.Ichargeyoudepartnot.Mr.Solmeshassomethingtoopentoyou,thatwillastonishyou--andyoushallhearit.

Only,Sir,byyourleave,forafewminutesintotheair.Iwillreturn,ifyoucommandit.IwillhearallthatIamtohear;thatitmaybeovernowandforever.--Youwillgowithme,Betty?

Andso,withoutanyfartherprohibition,Iretiredintothegarden;andtherecastingmyselfuponthefirstseat,andthrowingBetty'sapron

overmyface,leaningagainstherside,myhandsbetweenhers,Igavewaytoaviolentburstofgrief,orpassion,orboth;which,asitseemed,savedmyheartfrombreaking,forIwassensibleofanimmediaterelief.

IhavealreadygivenyouspecimensofMrs.Betty'simpertinence.Ishallnot,therefore,troubleyouwithmore:forthewench,notwithstandingthismydistress,tookgreatlibertieswithme,aftershesawmealittlerecovered,andasIwalkedfartherintothegarden;insomuchthatIwasobligedtosilenceherbyanabsoluteprohibitionofsaying



anotherwordtome;andthenshedroppedbehindmesullenandgloomy.

ItwasnearanhourbeforeIwassentforinagain.ThemessengerwasmycousinDollyHervey,who,withaneyeofcompassionandrespect,(forMissHerveyalwayslovedme,andcallsherselfmyscholar,asyouknow,)toldmycompanywasdesired.

Bettyleftus.

Whocommandsmyattendance,Miss?saidI--Haveyounotbeenintears,mydear?

Whocanforbidtears?saidshe.

Why,whatisthematter,cousinDolly?--Sure,nobodyisentitledtoweepinthisfamily,butme!

Yes,Iam,Madam,saidshe,becauseIloveyou.

Ikissedher:Andisitforme,mysweetCousin,thatyoushedtears?--Thereneverwaslovelostbetweenus:buttellme,whatisdesignedtobedonewithme,thatIhavethiskindinstanceofyourcompassionforme?

YoumusttakenonoticeofwhatItellyou,saidthedeargirl:butmymammahasbeenweepingforyou,too,withme;butdurstnotletanybodyseeit:OmyDolly,saidmymamma,thereneverwassosetamaliceinmanasinyourcousinJamesHarlowe.Theywillruintheflowerandornamentoftheirfamily.

Ashow,MissDolly?--Didshenotexplainherself?--Ashow,mydear?

Yes;shesaid,Mr.Solmeswouldhavegivenuphisclaimtoyou;forhesaid,youhatedhim,andtherewerenohopes;andyourmammawaswillingheshould;andtohaveyoutakenatyourword,torenounceMr.Lovelaceandtolivesingle.Mymammawasforittoo;fortheyheardallthatpassedbetweenyouanduncleAntony,andcousinJames;saying,itwas

impossibletothinkofprevailinguponyoutohaveMr.Solmes.UncleHarloweseemedinthesamewayofthinking;atleast,mymammasayshedidnotsayanythingtothecontrary.Butyourpapawasimmovable,andwasangryatyourmammaandmineuponit.--Andhereuponyourbrother,yoursister,andmyuncleAntony,joinedin,andchangedthesceneentirely.Inshort,shesays,thatMr.Solmeshadgreatmattersengagedtohim.Heowned,thatyouwerethefinestyoungladyinEngland,andhewouldbecontenttobebutlittlebeloved,ifhecouldnot,aftermarriage,engageyourheart,forthesakeofhavingthehonourtocallyouhisbutforonetwelvemonth--Isupposehewouldbreakyourheartthenext--forheisacruel-heartedman,Iamsure.

Myfriendsmaybreakmyheart,cousinDolly;butMr.Solmeswillnever

haveitinhispowertobreakit.

Idonotknowthat,Miss:youwillhavegoodlucktoavoidhavinghim,bywhatIcanfind;formymammasays,theyareallnowofonemind,herselfexcepted;andsheisforcedtobesilent,yourpapaandbrotherarebothsooutrageous.

Iamgotabovemindingmybrother,cousinDolly:--heisbutmybrother.ButtomyfatherIowedutyandobedience,ifIcouldcomply.



Weareapttobefondofanybodythatwillsidewithus,whenoppressedorprovoked.IalwayslovedmycousinDolly;butnowsheendearedherselftometentimesmore,byhersoothingconcernforme.Iaskedwhatshewoulddo,weresheinmycase?

Withouthesitation,shereplied,haveMr.Lovelaceoutofhand,andtakeupherownestate,ifshewereme;andtherewouldbeanendtoit.--AndMr.Lovelace,shesaid,wasafinegentleman:--Mr.Solmeswasnotworthytobucklehisshoes.

MissHerveytoldmefurther,thathermotherwasdesiredtocometome,tofetchmein;butsheexcusedherself.Ishouldhaveallmyfriends,shesaid,shebelieved,sitinjudgmentuponme.

Iwishithadbeenso.But,asIhavebeentoldsince,neithermyfatherformymotherwouldtrustthemselveswithseeingme:theoneitseemsforpassionsake;mymotherfortenderconsiderations.

Bythistimeweenteredthehouse.Missaccompaniedmeintotheparlour,andleftme,asapersondevoted,Ithenthought.

Nobodywasthere.Isatdown,andhadleisuretoweep;reflectinguponwhatmycousinDollyhadtoldme.

Theywereallinmysister'sparlouradjoining:forIheardaconfusedmixtureofvoices,somelouderthanothers,whichdrownedthemorecompassionatingaccents.

FemaleaccentsIcoulddistinguishthedrownedonestobe.Omydear!whatahard-heartedsexistheother!Childrenofthesameparents,howcametheybytheircruelty?--Dotheygetitbytravel?--Dotheygetitbyconversationwithoneanother?--Orhowdotheygetit?--Yetmysister,too,isashard-heartedasanyofthem.Butthismaybenoexceptionneither:forshehasbeenthoughttobemasculineinherairandherspirit.Shehasthen,perhaps,asouloftheothersexinabodyofours.Andso,forthehonourofourown,willIjudgeofeverywomanforthefuture,whoimitatingtheroughermannersofmen,acts

unbeseemingthegentlenessofherownsex.

Forgiveme,mydearfriend,forbreakingintomystorybythesereflections.WereIrapidlytopursuemynarration,withoutthinking,withoutreflecting,IbelieveIshouldhardlybeabletokeepinmyrightmind:sincevehemenceandpassionwouldthenbealwaysuppermost;butwhileIthinkasIwrite,Icool,andmyhurryofspiritsisallayed.

IbelieveIwasaboutaquarterofanhourenjoyingmyowncomfortlesscontemplations,beforeanybodycameintome;fortheyseemedtobeinfulldebate.Myauntlookedinfirst;Omydear,saidshe,areyouthere?andwithdrewhastilytoapprizethemofit.

Andthen(asagreeduponIsuppose)incamemyuncleAntony,creditingMr.Solmeswiththewords,Letmeleadyouin,mydearfriend,havingholdofhishand;whilethenew-madebeauawkwardlyfollowed,butmoreedgingly,asImaysay,settinghisfeetmincingly,toavoidtreadinguponhisleader'sheels.Excuseme,mydear,thisseeminglevity;butthosewedonotlove,appearineverythingungracefultous.

Istoodup.Myunclelookedverysurly.--Sitdown!--Sitdown,Girl,saidhe.--Anddrawingachairnearme,heplacedhisdearfriendinit,



whetherhewouldornot,Ihavingtakenmyseat.Andmyunclesatontheothersideofme.

Well,Niece,takingmyhand,weshallhaveverylittlemoretosaytoyouthanwehavealreadysaid,astothesubjectthatissodistastefultoyou--unless,indeed,youhavebetterconsideredofthematter--Andfirstletmeknowifyouhave?

Thematterwantsnoconsideration,Sir.

Verywell,verywell,Madam!saidmyuncle,withdrawinghishandsfrommine:CouldIeverhavethoughtofthisfromyou?

ForGod'ssake,dearestMadam,saidMr.Solmes,foldinghishands--Andtherehestopped.

ForGod'ssake,what,Sir?--HowcameGod'ssake,andyoursake,Iprayyou,tobethesame?

Thissilencedhim.Myunclecouldonlybeangry;andthathewasbefore.

Well,well,well,Mr.Solmes,saidmyuncle,nomoreofsupplication.Youhavenotconfidenceenoughtoexpectawoman'sfavour.

Hethenwaspleasedtohintwhatgreatthingshehaddesignedtodoforme;andthatitwasmoreformysake,afterhereturnedfromtheIndies,thanforthesakeofanyotherofthefamily,thathehadresolvedtoliveasinglelife.--Butnow,concludedhe,thattheperversegirldespisesallthegreatthingsitwasonceasmuchinmywill,asitisinmypower,todoforher,Iwillchangemymeasures.

Itoldhim,thatImostsincerelythankedhimforallhiskindintentionstome:butthatIwaswillingtoresignallclaimtoanyotherofhisfavoursthankindlooksandkindwords.

Helookedabouthimthiswayandthat.

Mr.Solmeslookedpitifullydown.

Butbothbeingsilent,Iwassorry,Iadded,thatIhadtoomuchreasontosayaveryharshthing,asImightbethought;whichwas,Thatifhewouldbutbepleasedtoconvincemybrotherandsister,thathewasabsolutelydeterminedtoalterhisgenerouspurposestowardsme,itmightpossiblyprocuremebettertreatmentfromboth,thanIwasotherwiselikelytohave.

Myunclewasverymuchdispleased.Buthehadnottheopportunitytoexpresshisdispleasure,asheseemedpreparingtodo;forincamemybrotherinexceedinggreatwrath;andcalledmeseveralvilenames.Hissuccesshitherto,inhisdeviceagainstme,hadsethimabovekeeping

evendecentmeasures.

Wasthismyspitefulconstruction?heasked--WasthistheinterpretationIputuponhisbrotherlycareofme,andconcernforme,inordertopreventmyruiningmyself?

Itis,indeeditis,saidI:Iknownootherwaytoaccountforyourlatebehaviourtome:andbeforeyourface,Irepeatmyrequesttomyuncle,andIwillmakeittomyotherunclewheneverIampermittedtoseehim,thattheywillconferalltheirfavoursuponyou,anduponmy



sister;andonlymakemehappy(itisallIwishfor!)intheirkindlooks,andkindwords.

Howtheyallgazedupononeanother!--ButcouldIbelessperemptorybeforetheman?

And,astoyourcareandconcernforme,Sir,turningtomybrother;oncemoreIdesireitnot.Youarebutmybrother.Myfatherandmother,IblessGod,arebothliving;andweretheynot,youhavegivenmeabundantreasontosay,thatyouaretheverylastpersonIwouldwishtohaveanyconcernforme.

How,Niece!Andisabrother,anonlybrother,ofsolittleconsiderationwithyou,asthiscomesto?Andoughthetohavenoconcernforhissister'shonour,andthefamily'shonour.

Myhonour,Sir!--Idesirenoneofhisconcernforthat!Itneverwasendangeredtillithadhisundesiredconcern!--Forgiveme,Sir--butwhenmybrotherknowshowtoactlikeabrother,orbehavelikeagentleman,hemaydeservemoreconsiderationfrommethanitispossibleformenowtothinkhedoes.

Ithoughtmybrotherwouldhavebeatmeuponthis:butmyunclestoodbetweenus.

Violentgirl,however,hecalledme--Who,saidhe,whowouldhavethoughtitofher?

ThenwasMr.Solmestold,thatIwasunworthyofhispursuit.

ButMr.Solmeswarmlytookmypart:hecouldnotbear,hesaid,thatIshouldbetreatedsoroughly.

Andsoverymuchdidheexerthimselfonthisoccasion,andsopatientlywashiswarmthreceivedbymybrother,thatIbegantosuspect,thatitwasacontrivancetomakemethinkmyselfobligedtohim;andthatthismightperhapsbeoneendofthepressed-forinterview.

Theverysuspicionofthislowartifice,violentasIwasthoughttobebefore,putmestillmoreoutofpatience;andmyuncleandmybrotheragainpraisinghiswonderfulgenerosity,andhisnoblereturnofgoodforevil,Youareahappyman,Mr.Solmes,saidI,thatyoucansoeasilyconferobligationsuponawholefamily,exceptupononeungratefulpersonofit,whomyouseemtointendmosttooblige;butwhobeingmadeunhappybyyourfavour,desiresnottoowetoyouanyprotectionfromtheviolenceofabrother.

ThenwasIarude,anungrateful,andunworthycreature.

Iownitall--all,allyoucancallme,orthinkme,Brother,doIown.

Iownmyunworthinesswithregardtothisgentleman.Itakeyourwordforhisabundantmerit,whichIhaveneitherleisurenorinclinationtoexamineinto--itmayperhapsbeasgreatasyourown--butyetIcannotthankhimforhisgreatmediation:Forwhoseesnot,lookingatmyuncle,thatthisisgivinghimselfameritwitheverybodyatmyexpense?

Thenturningtomybrother,whoseemedsurprisedintosilencebymywarmth,Imustalsoacknowledge,Sir,thefavourofyoursuperabundantcareforme.ButIdischargeyouofit;atleast,whileIhavethe



happinessofneareranddearerrelations.Youhavegivenmenoreasontothinkbetterofyourprudence,thanofmyown.Iamindependentofyou,Sir,thoughIneverdesiretobesoofmyfather:andalthoughIwishforthegoodopinionofmyuncles,itisallIwishforfromthem:andthis,Sir,Irepeat,tomakeyouandmysistereasy.

InstantlyalmostcameinBetty,inagreathurry,lookingatmeasspitefullyasifsheweremysister:Sir,saidshetomybrother,mymasterdesirestospeakwithyouthismomentatthedoor.

Hewenttothatwhichledintomysister'sparlour;andthissentenceIheardthunderedfromthemouthofonewhohadarighttoallmyreverence:SonJames,lettherebelbethismomentcarriedawaytomybrother's--thisverymoment--sheshallnotstayonehourmoreundermyroof!

Itrembled;Iwasreadytosink.Yet,notknowingwhatIdid,orsaid,Iflewtothedoor,andwouldhaveopenedit:butmybrotherpulleditto,andhelditclosebythekey--OmyPapa!--mydearPapa!saidI,fallinguponmyknees,atthedoor--admityourchildtoyourpresence!--Letmebutpleadmycauseatyourfeet!--Oh!reprobatenotthusyourdistresseddaughter!

Myuncleputhishandkerchieftohiseyes.Mr.Solmesmadeastillmore

grievousfacethanhehadbefore.Butmybrother'smarbleheartwasuntouched.

Iwillnotstirfrommyknees,continuedI,withoutadmission;atthisdoorIbegit!--Oh!letitbethedoorofmercy!andopenittome,honouredSir,Ibeseechyou!--Butthisonce,thisonce!althoughyouwereafterwardstoshutitagainstmeforever!

Thedoorwasendeavouredtobeopenedontheinside,whichmademybrotherletgothekeyonasudden;andIpressingagainstit,(allthetimeremainingonmyknees,)fellflatonmyfaceintotheotherparlour;howeverwithouthurtingmyself.Buteverybodywasgone,exceptBetty,whoIsupposewasthepersonthatendeavouredtoopenthedoor.

Shehelpedtoraisemeup;andwhenIwasonmyfeet,Ilookedroundthatapartment,andseeingnobodythere,re-enteredtheother,leaninguponher;andthenthrewmyselfintothechairwhichIhadsatinbefore;andmyeyesoverflowed,tomygreatrelief:whilemyuncleAntony,mybrother,andMr.Solmes,leftme,andwenttomyotherrelations.

Whatpassedamongthem,Iknownot:butmybrothercameinbythetimeIhadtolerablyrecoveredmyself,withasettledandhaughtygloomuponhisbrow--YourfatherandmothercommandyouinstantlytoprepareforyouruncleAntony's.Youneednotbesolicitousaboutwhatyoushalltakewithyou:youmaygiveBettyyourkeys--Takethem,Betty,iftheperverseonehasthemabouther,andcarrythemtohermother.Shewill

takecaretosendeverythingafteryouthatyoushallwant--butanothernightyouwillnotbepermittedtostayinthishouse.

Idon'tchoosetogivemykeystoanybody,excepttomymother,andintoherownhands.--YouseehowmuchIamdisordered.Itmaycostmemylife,tobehurriedawaysosuddenly.IbegtobeindulgedtillnextMondayatleast.

Thatwillnotbegrantedyou.Soprepareforthisveryverynight.Andgiveupyourkeys.Givethemtome,Miss.I'llcarrythemtoyour



mother.

Excuseme,Brother.IndeedIwon't.

Indeedyoumust.Haveyouanythingyouareafraidshouldbeseenbyyourmother?

NotifIbepermittedtoattendher.

I'llmakeareportaccordingly.

Hewentout.

IncameMissDollyHervey:Iamsorry,Madam,tobethemessenger--butyourmammainsistsuponyoursendingupallthekeysofyourcabinet,library,anddrawers.

Tellmymother,thatIyieldthemuptohercommands:tellher,Imakenoconditionswithmymother:butifshefindsnothingsheshalldisapproveof,Ibegthatshewillpermitmetotarryhereafewdayslonger.--Try,myDolly,[thedeargirlsobbingwithgrief;]tryifyourgentlenesscannotprevailforme.

Sheweptstillmore,andsaid,Itissad,verysad,toseemattersthus

carried!

Shetookthekeys,andwrappedherarmsaboutme;andbeggedmetoexcuseherforhermessage;andwouldhavesaidmore;butBetty'spresenceawedher,asIsaw.

Don'tpityme,mydear,saidI.Itwillbeimputedtoyouasafault.Youseewhoisby.

Theinsolentwenchscornfullysmiled:Oneyoungladypityinganotherinthingsofthisnature,lookspromisingintheyoungest,Imustneedssay.

Ibidherbegonefrommypresence.

Shewouldmostgladlygo,shesaid,wereshenottostayaboutmebymymother'sorder.

Itsoonappearedforwhatshestaid;forIofferingtogoupstairstomyapartmentwhenmycousinwentfrommewiththekeys,shetoldmeshewascommanded(toherverygreatregret,shemustown)todesiremenottogoupatpresent.

Suchaboldface,asshe,Itoldher,shouldnothinderme.

Sheinstantlyrangthebell,andincamemybrother,meetingmeatthe

door.

Return,return,Miss--nogoingupyet.

Iwentinagain,andthrowingmyselfuponthewindow-seat,weptbitterly.

ShallIgiveyoutheparticularsofaridiculously-spitefulconversationthatpassedbetweenmybrotherandme,inthetimethathe(withBetty)wasinofficetokeepmeintheparlourwhilemyclosetwas



searching!--ButIthinkIwillnot.Itcananswernogoodend.

Idesiredseveraltimes,whilehestaid,tohaveleavetoretiretomyapartment;butwasdenied.Thesearch,Isuppose,wasnotover.

Bellawasoneofthoseemployedinit.Theycouldnothaveamorediligentsearcher.Howhappyitwastheyweredisappointed!

Butwhenmysistercouldnotfindthecunningcreature'spapers,IwastostandanothervisitfromMr.Solmes--precedednowbymyauntHervey,solelyagainstherwill,Icouldseethat;accompaniedbymyuncleAntony,inordertokeephersteady,Isuppose.

Butbeingalittleheavy(foritisnowpasttwointhemorning)Iwillliedowninmyclothes,toindulgethekindsummons,ifitwillbeindulged.

THREEO'CLOCK,WEDNESDAYMORNING.

Icouldnotsleep--Onlydozedawayonehalf-hour.

MyauntHerveyaccostedmethus:--Omydearchild,whattroublesdoyougivetoyourparents,andtoeverybody!--Iwonderatyou!

Iamsorryforit,Madam.

Sorryforit,child!--Whythensoveryobstinate?--Come,sitdown,mydear.Iwillsitnexttoyou;takingmyhand.

MyuncleplacedMr.Solmesontheothersideofme:himselfover-againstme,almostclosetome.WasInotfinelybeset,mydear?

Yourbrother,child,saidmyaunt,istoopassionate--hiszealforyourwelfarepusheshimonalittletoovehemently.

Verytrue,saidmyuncle:butnomoreofthis.Wewouldnowbegladto

seeifmildermeanswilldowithyou--though,indeed,theyweretriedbefore.

Iaskedmyaunt,Ifitwerenecessary,thatthegentlemanshouldbepresent?

Thereisareasonthatheshould,saidmyaunt,asyouwillhearby-andby.--ButImusttellyou,first,that,thinkingyouwasalittletooangrilytreatedbyyourbrother,yourmotherdesiredmetotrywhatgentlermeanswoulddouponaspiritsogenerousasweusedtothinkyours.

Nothingcanbedone,Madam,Imustpresumetosay,ifthisgentleman's

addressbetheend.

Shelookeduponmyuncle,whobithislip;andlookeduponMr.Solmes,whorubbedhischeek;andshakingherhead,Good,dearcreature,saidshe,becalm.Letmeaskyou,Ifsomethingwouldhavebeendone,hadyoubeenmoregentlyused,thanyouseemtothinkyouhavebeen?

No,Madam,Icannotsayitwould,inthisgentleman'sfavour.Youknow,Madam,youknow,Sir,tomyuncle,Ievervaluedmyselfuponmysincerity:andonceindeedhadthehappinesstobevaluedforit.



MyuncletookMr.Solmesaside.Iheardhimsay,whispering,Shemust,sheshall,stillbeyours.--We'llsee,who'llconquer,parentsorchild,unclesorniece.Idoubtnottobewitnesstoallthisbeinggotover,andmanyagood-humouredjestmadeofthishighphrensy!

Iwasheartilyvexed.

Thoughwecannotfindout,continuedhe,yetweguess,whoputsheruponthisobstinatebehaviour.Itisnotnaturaltoher,man.NorwouldIconcernmyselfsomuchabouther,butthatIknowwhatIsaytobetrue,andintendtodogreatthingsforher.

Iwillhourlyprayforthathappytime,whisperedasaudiblyMr.Solmes.Ineverwillrevivetheremembranceofwhatisnowsopainfultome.

Well,but,Niece,Iamtotellyou,saidmyaunt,thatthesendingupofthekeys,withoutmakinganyconditions,haswroughtforyouwhatnothingelsecouldhavedone.That,andthenotfindinganythingthatcouldgivethemumbrage,togetherwithMr.Solmes'sinterposition--

OMadam,letmenotoweanobligationtoMr.Solmes.Icannotrepayit,exceptbymythanks;andthoseonlyonconditionthathewilldeclinehissuit.Tomythanks,Sir,[turningtohim,]ifyouhaveaheart

capableofhumanity,ifyouhaveanyesteemformeformyownsake,Ibeseechyoutoentitleyourself!--Ibeseechyou,do--!

OMadam,criedhe,believe,believe,believeme,itisimpossible.Whileyouaresingle,Iwillhope.Whilethathopeisencouragedbysomanyworthyfriends,Imustpersevere.Imustnotslightthem,Madam,becauseyouslightme.

Iansweredhimonlywithalook;butitwasofhighdisdain;andturningfromhim,--Butwhatfavour,dearMadam,[tomyaunt,]hastheinstanceofdutyyoumentionprocuredme?

YourmotherandMr.Solmes,repliedmyaunt,haveprevailed,thatyour

requesttostayheretillMondaynextshallbegranted,ifyouwillpromisetogocheerfullythen.

Letmebutchoosemyownvisiters,andIwillgotomyuncle'shousewithpleasure.

Well,Niece,saidmyaunt,wemustwavethissubject,Ifind.Wewillnowproceedtoanother,whichwillrequireyourutmostattention.ItwillgiveyouthereasonwhyMr.Solmes'spresenceisrequisite--

Ay,saidmyuncle,andshewyouwhatsortofamansomebodyis.Mr.Solmes,prayfavourus,inthefirstplace,withtheletteryoureceivedfromyouranonymousfriend.

Iwill,Sir.Andouthepulledaletter-case,andtakingoutaletter,itiswritteninanswertoone,senttotheperson.Itissuperscribed,ToRogerSolmes,Esq.Itbeginsthus:HonouredSir--

Ibegyourpardon,Sir,saidI:butwhat,pray,istheintentofreadingthislettertome?

Toletyouknowwhatavilemanyouarethoughttohavesetyourheartupon,saidmyuncle,inanaudiblewhisper.



If,Sir,itbesuspected,thatIhavesetmyheartuponanyother,whyisMr.Solmestogivehimselfanyfurthertroubleaboutme?

Onlyhear,Niece,saidmyaunt;onlyhearwhatMr.Solmeshastoreadandtosaytoyouonthishead.

If,Madam,Mr.Solmeswillbepleasedtodeclare,thathehasnoviewtoserve,noendtopromote,forhimself,Iwillhearanythingheshallread.Butifthecontrary,youmustallowmetosay,thatitwillabatewithmeagreatdealoftheweightofwhateverheshallproduce.

Hearitbutread,Niece,saidmyaunt--

Hearitread,saidmyuncle.Youaresoreadytotakepartwith--

Withanybody,Sir,thatisaccusedanonymously,andfrominterestedmotives.

Hebegantoread;andthereseemedtobeaheavyloadofchargesinthisletteragainstthepoorcriminal:butIstoppedthereadingofit,andsaid,Itwillnotbemyfault,ifthisvilifiedmanbenotasindifferenttome,asonewhomIneversaw.Ifhebeotherwiseatpresent,whichIneitherown,nordeny,itproceedfromthestrange

methodstakentopreventit.Donotletonecauseunitehimandme,andweshallnotbeunited.Ifmyoffertolivesinglebeaccepted,heshallbenomoretomethanthisgentleman.

Still--Proceed,Mr.Solmes--Hearitout,Niece,wasmyuncle'scry.

Buttowhatpurpose,Sir!saidI--HadnotMr.Solmesaviewinthis?And,besides,cananythingworsebesaidofMr.Lovelace,thanIhaveheardsaidforseveralmonthspast?

Butthis,saidmyuncle,andwhatMr.Solmescantellyoubesides,amountstothefullestproof--

Wastheunhappyman,then,sofreelytreatedinhischaracterbefore,withoutfullproof?Ibeseechyou,Sir,givemenottoogoodanopinionofMr.Lovelace;asImayhave,ifsuchpainsbetakentomakehimguilty,byonewhomeansnothisreformationbyit;nortodogood,ifImaypresumetosaysointhiscase,toanybodybuthimself.

Iseeveryplainly,girl,saidmyuncle,yourprepossession,yourfondprepossession,forthepersonofamanwithoutmorals.

Indeed,mydear,saidmyaunt,youtoomuchjustifyallyourapprehension.Surprising!thatayoungcreatureofvirtueandhonourshouldthusesteemamanofaquiteoppositecharacter!

DearMadam,donotconcludeagainstmetoohastily.IbelieveMr.Lovelaceisfarfrombeingsogoodasheoughttobe:butifeveryman'sprivatelifewassearchedintobyprejudicedpeople,setonforthatpurpose,Iknownotwhosereputationwouldbesafe.Iloveavirtuouscharacter,asmuchinmanasinwoman.Ithinkitisrequisite,andasmeritorious,intheoneasintheother.And,iflefttomyself,Iwouldpreferapersonofsuchacharactertoroyaltywithoutit.

Whythen,saidmyuncle--



Givemeleave,Sir--butImayventuretosay,thatmanyofthosewhohaveescapedcensure,havenotmeritedapplause.

Permitmetoobservefurther,ThatMr.Solmeshimselfmaynotbeabsolutelyfaultless.Ineverheadofhisvirtues.SomevicesIhaveheardof--Excuseme,Mr.Solmes,Ispeaktoyourface--Thetextaboutcastingthefirststoneaffordsanexcellentlesson.

Helookeddown;butwassilent.

Mr.Lovelacemayhavevicesyouhavenot.Youmayhaveothers,whichhehasnot.Ispeaknotthistodefendhim,ortoaccuseyou.Nomanisbad,nooneisgood,ineverything.Mr.Lovelace,forexample,issaidtobeimplacable,andtohatemyfriends:thatdoesnotmakemevaluehimthemore:butgivemeleavetosay,thattheyhatehimasmuch.Mr.Solmeshashisantipathies,likewise;verystrongones,andthosetohisownrelations;whichIdon'tfindtobetheother'sfault;forheliveswellwithhis--yethemayhaveasbad:--worse,pardonme,hecannothave,inmypooropinion:forwhatmustbetheman,whohateshisownflesh?

Youknownot,Madam;Youknownot,Niece;allinonebreath.Youknownot,Clary;

Imaynot,nordoIdesiretoknowMr.Solmes'sreasons.Itconcernsnotmetoknowthem:buttheworld,eventheimpartialpartofit,accuseshim.Iftheworldisunjustorrash,inoneman'scase,whymayitnotbesoinanother's?That'sallImeanbyit.Norcantherebyagreatersignofwantofmerit,thanwhereamanseekstopulldownanother'scharacter,inordertobuilduphisown.

Thepoorman'sfacewasallthistimeoverspreadwithconfusion,twisted,asitwere,andallawry,neithermouthnornosestandinginthemiddleofit.Helookedasifhewerereadytocry:andhadhebeencapableofpityingme,Ihadcertainlytriedtopityhim.

Theyallthreegazedupononeanotherinsilence.

Myaunt,Isaw(atleastIthoughtso)lookedasifshewouldhavebeengladshemighthaveappearedtoapproveofwhatIsaid.Shebutfeeblyblamedme,whenshespoke,fornothearingwhatMr.Solmeshadtosay.Hehimselfseemednotnowveryearnesttobeheard.Myunclesaid,Therewasnotalkingtome.AndIshouldhaveabsolutelysilencedbothgentlemen,hadnotmybrothercomeinagaintotheirassistance.

Thiswasthestrangespeechhemadeathisentrance,hiseyesflamingwithanger;Thispratinggirl,hasstruckyoualldumb,Iperceive.Persevere,however,Mr.Solmes.Ihaveheardeverywordshehassaid:andIknowofnoothermethodofbeingevenwithher,thanaftersheisyours,tomakeherassensibleofyourpower,asshenowmakesyouof

herinsolence.

Fie,cousinHarlowe!saidmyaunt--CouldIhavethoughtabrotherwouldhavesaidthis,toagentleman,ofasister?

Imusttellyou,Madam,saidhe,thatyougivetherebelcourage.Youyourselfseemtofavourtoomuchthearroganceofhersexinher;otherwiseshedurstnothavethusstoppedheruncle'smouthbyreflectionsuponhim;aswellasdeniedtohearagentlemantellherthedangersheisinfromalibertine,whoseprotection,assheplainly



hinted,sheintendstoclaimagainstherfamily.

Stoppedmyuncle'smouth,byreflectionsuponhim,Sir!saidI,howcanthatbe!howdareyoutomakesuchanapplicationasthis!

Myauntweptathisreflectionuponher.--Cousin,saidshetohim,ifthisbethethanksIhaveformytrouble,Ihavedone:yourfatherwouldnottreatmethus--andIwillsay,thatthehintyougavewasanunbrotherlyone.

Notmoreunbrotherlythanalltherestofhisconducttome,oflate,Madam,saidI.Iseebythisspecimenofhisviolence,howeverybodyhasbeenbroughtintohismeasures.HadIanytheleastapprehensionofeverbeinginMr.Solmes'spower,thismighthaveaffectedme.Butyousee,Sir,toMr.Solmes,whataconductisthoughtnecessarytoenableyoutoarriveatyourungenerousend.Youseehowmybrothercourtsforyou.

IdisclaimMr.Harlowe'sviolence,Madam,withallmysoul.Iwillneverremindyou--

Silence,worthySir,saidI;Iwilltakecareyounevershallhavetheopportunity.

Lessviolence,Clary,saidmyuncle.CousinJames,youareasmuchtoblameasyoursister.

Inthencamemysister.Brother,saidshe,youkeptnotyourpromise.Youarethoughttobetoblamewithin,aswellashere.WerenotMr.Solmes'sgenerosityandaffectiontothegirlwellknown,whatyousaidwouldhavebeeninexcusable.Myfatherdesirestospeakwithyou;andwithyou,Mr.Solmes,ifyouplease.

Theyallfourwithdrewintothenextapartment.

Istoodsilent,asnotknowingpresentlyhowtotakethisinterventionofmysister's.Butsheleftmenotlongataloss--Othouperverse

thing,saidshe[pokingoutherangryfaceatme,whentheywereallgone,butspeakingspitefullylow]--whattroubledoyougivetousall!

Youandmybrother,Bella,saidI,givetroubletoyourselves;yetneitheryounorhehaveanybusinesstoconcernyourselvesaboutme.

Shethrewoutsomespitefulexpressions,stillinalowvoice,asifshechosenottobeheardwithout;andIthoughtitbesttoobligehertoraisehertonealittle,ifIcould.IfIcould,didIsay?Itiseasytomakeapassionatespiritanswerallone'sviewsuponit.

Sheaccordinglyflamedoutinaraisedtone:andthisbroughtmycousinDollyintous.MissHarlowe,yourcompanyisdesired.

Iwillcomepresently,cousinDolly.

Butagainprovokingaseverityfrommewhichshecouldnotbear,andcallingmenames!inoncemorecomeDolly,withanothermessage,thathercompanywasdesired.

Notmine,Idoubt,MissDolly,saidI.

Thesweet-temperedgirlburstoutintotears,andshookherhead.



Goinbeforeme,child,saidBella,[vexedtoseeherconcernforme,]withthysharpfacelikeanewmoon:Whatdostthoucryfor?isittomakethykeenfacelookstillkeener?

IbelieveBellawasblamed,too,whenshewentin;forIheardhersay,thecreaturewassoprovoking,therewasnokeepingaresolution.

Mr.Solmes,afteralittlewhile,cameinagainbyhimself,totakeleaveofme:fullofscrapesandcompliments;buttoowelltutoredandencouraged,togivemehopeofhisdeclininghissuit.Hebeggedmenottoimputetohimanyoftheseverethingstowhichhehadbeenasorrowfulwitness.Hebesoughtmycompassion,ashecalledit.

Hesaid,theresultwas,thathestillhadhopesgivenhim;and,althoughdiscouragedbyme,hewasresolvedtopersevere,whileIremainedsingle.--Andsuchlongandsuchpainfulserviceshetalkedof,asneverbeforewereheardof.

Itoldhiminthestrongestmanner,whathehadtotrustto.

Yetstillhedeterminedtopersist.--WhileIwasnoman'selse,hemusthope.

What!saidI,willyoustillpersist,whenIdeclare,asIdonow,thatmyaffectionsareengaged?--Andletmybrothermakethemostofit.

Heknewmyprinciples,andadoredmeforthem.Hedoubtednot,thatitwasinhispowertomakemehappy:andhewassureIwouldnotwantthewilltobeso.

Iassuredhim,thatwereItobecarriedtomyuncle's,itshouldanswernoend;forIwouldneverseehim;norreceivealinefromhim;norhearawordinhisfavour,whoeverwerethepersonwhoshouldmentionhimtome.

Hewassorryforit.Hemustbemiserable,wereItoholdinthatmind.

Buthedoubtednot,thatImightbeinducedbymyfatherandunclestochangeit--

Never,never,hemightdependuponit.

Itwasrichlyworthhispatience,andthetrial.

Atmyexpense?--Atthepriceofallmyhappiness,Sir?

HehopedIshouldbeinducedtothinkotherwise.

Andthenwouldhehaverunintohisfortune,hissettlements,hisaffection--vowing,thatnevermanlovedawomanwithsosincerea

passionashelovedme.

Istoppedhim,astothefirstpartofhisspeech:andtothesecond,ofthesincerityofhispassion,Whatthen,Sir,saidI,isyourlovetoone,whomustassureyou,thatneveryoungcreaturelookeduponmanwithamoresinceredisapprobation,thanIlookuponyou?Andtellme,whatargumentcanyouurge,thatthistruedeclarationanswersnotbefore-hand?

DearestMadam,whatcanIsay?--OnmykneesIbeg--



Anddowntheungracefulwretchdroppedonhisknees.

Letmenotkneelinvain,Madam:letmenotbethusdespised.--Andhelookedmostodiouslysorrowful.

Ihavekneeledtoo,Mr.Solmes:oftenhaveIkneeled:andIwillkneelagain--eventoyou,Sir,willIkneel,iftherebesomuchmeritinkneeling;providedyouwillnotbetheimplementofmycruelbrother'sundeservedpersecution.

Ifalltheservices,eventoworshipyou,duringmywholelife--You,Madam,invokeandexpectmercy;yetshewnone--

AmItobecrueltomyself,toshewmercytoyou;takemyestate,Sir,withallmyheart,sinceyouaresuchafavouriteinthishouse!--onlyleavememyself--themercyyouaskfor,doyoushewtoothers.

Ifyoumeantomyrelations,Madam--unworthyastheyare,allshallbedonethatyoushallprescribe.

Who,I,Sir,tofindyoubowelsyounaturallyhavenot?Itopurchasetheirhappinessbytheforfeitureofmyown?WhatIaskyoufor,ismercytomyself:that,sinceyouseemtohavesomepowerovermy

relations,youwilluseitinmybehalf.Tellthem,thatyouseeIcannotconquermyaversiontoyou:tellthem,ifyouareawiseman,thatyoutoomuchvalueyourownhappiness,toriskitagainstsuchadeterminedantipathy:tellthemthatIamunworthyofyouroffers:andthatinmercytoyourself,aswellastome,youwillnotprosecuteasuitsoimpossibletobegranted.

Iwillrisqueallconsequences,saidthefellwretch,rising,withacountenancewhitenedover,asifwithmalice,hisholloweyesflashingfire,andbitinghisunderlip,toshewhecouldbemanly.Yourhatred,Madam,shallbenoobjectionwithme:andIdoubtnotinafewdaystohaveitinmypowertoshewyou--

Youhaveitinyourpower,Sir--

Hecamewelloff--Toshewyoumoregenerositythan,nobleasyouaresaidtobetoothers,youshewtome.

Theman'sfacebecamehisanger:itseemsformedtoexpressthepassion.

Atthatinstant,againincamemybrother--Sister,Sister,Sister,saidhe,withhisteethset,actonthetermagantpartyouhavesonewlyassumed--mostwonderfullywelldoesitbecomeyou.Itisbutashortone,however.Tyranessinyourturn,accuseothersofyourownguilt--Butleaveher,leaverher,Mr.Solmes:hertimeisshort.You'llfindherhumbleandmortifiedenoughveryquickly.Then,howlikea

littletamefoolwillshelook,withherconscienceupbraidingher,andbeggingofyou[withawhiningvoice,thebarbarousbrotherspoke]toforgiveandforget!

Morehesaid,asheflewout,withaglowingface,uponShorey'scomingintorecallhimonhisviolence.

Iremovedfromchairtochair,excessivelyfrightedanddisturbedatthisbrutaltreatment.



Themanattemptedtoexcusehimself,asbeingsorryformybrother'spassion.

Leaveme,leaveme,Sir,fanning--orIshallfaint.AndindeedIthoughtIshould.

Herecommendedhimselftomyfavourwithanairofassurance;augmented,asIthought,byadistresssovisibleinme;forheevensnatchedmytrembling,mystrugglinghand;andravishedittohisodiousmouth.

Iflungfromhimwithhighdisdain:andhewithdrew,bowingandcringing;self-gratified,andenjoying,asIthought,theconfusionhesawmein.

Thewretchisnow,methinks,beforeme;andnowIseehimawkwardlystridingbackward,asheretired,tilltheedgeoftheopeneddoor,whichheranagainst,rememberedhimtoturnhiswelcomebackuponme.

Uponhiswithdrawing,Bettybroughtmeword,thatIwaspermittedtogouptomyownchamber:andwasbidtoconsiderofeverything:formytimewasshort.Nevertheless,shebelievedImightbepermittedtostaytillSaturday.

Shetellsme,thatalthoughmybrotherandsisterwereblamedforbeing

sohastywithme,yetwhentheymadetheirreport,andmyuncleAntonyhis,ofmyprovocations,theywereallmoredeterminedthaneverinMr.Solmes'sfavour.

Thewretchhimself,shetellsme,pretendstobemoreinlovewithmethanbefore;andtoberatherdelightedthandiscouragedwiththeconversationthatpassedbetweenus.Heranon,shesays,inraptures,aboutthegracewherewithIshoulddignifyhisboard;andthelikesortofstuff,eitherofhissaying,orofhermaking.

SheclosedallwithaNowisyourtime,Miss,tosubmitwithagrace,andtomakeyourowntermswithhim:--else,Icantellyou,wereIMr.Solmes,itshouldbeworseforyou:Andwho,Miss,ofoursex,proceeded

thesaucycreature,wouldadmirearakishgentleman,whenshemightbeadmiredbyasoberonetotheendofthechapter?

Shemadethisfurtherspeechtomeonquittingmychamber--Youhavehadamazinggoodluck,Miss.Imusttellyou,tokeepyourwritingsconcealedsocunningly.YoumustneedsthinkIknowthatyouarealwaysatyourpen:andasyouendeavourtohidethatknowledgefromme,Idonotthinkmyselfobligedtokeepyoursecret.ButIlovenottoaggravate.Ihadratherreconcilebymuch.Peace-makingismytalent,andeverwas.AndhadIbeenasmuchyourfoe,asyouimagine,youhadnotperhapsbeenherenow.Butthis,however,Idonotsaytomakeameritwithyou,Miss:for,truly,itwillbethebetterforyouthesoonereverythingisoverwithyou.Andbetterforme,andforevery

oneelse;that'scertain.YetonehintImustconcludewith;thatyourpenandink(soonasyouaretogoaway)willnotbelonginyourpower,Idoassureyou,Miss.Andthen,havinglostthatamusement,itwillbeseen,howamindsoactiveasyourswillbeabletoemployitself.

Thishintalarmsmesomuch,thatIshallinstantlybegintoconceal,indifferentplaces,pens,inks,andpaper;andtodepositsomeintheivysummer-house,ifIcanfindasafeplacethere;and,attheworst,Ihavegotapencilofblack,andanotherofredlead,whichIuseinmydrawings;andmypatternsshallserveforpaper,ifIhavenoother.



Howluckyitwas,thatIhadgotawaymypapers!Theymadeastrictsearchforthem;thatIcansee,bythedisorderlymannertheyhaveleftallthingsin:foryouknowthatIamsuchanobserverofmethod,thatIcangotoabitofribband,orlace,oredging,blindfold.Thesameinmybooks;whichtheyhavestrangelydisorderedandmismatched;tolookbehindthem,andinsomeofthem,Isuppose.Myclothestooarerumplednotalittle.Noplacehasescapedthem.Toyourhint,Ithankyou,aretheyindebtedfortheirdisappointment.

Thepen,throughheavinessandfatigue,droptoutofmyfingers,atthewordindebted.Iresumedit,tofinishthesentence;andtotellyou,thatIam,

YourforeverobligedandaffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDNESDAY,ELEVENO'CLOCK,APRIL5.

ImustwriteasIhaveopportunity;makinguseofmyconcealedstores:formypensandink(allofeachthattheycouldfind)aretakenfromme;asIshalltellyouaboutmoreparticularlybyandby.

Aboutanhourago,Idepositedmylonglettertoyou;asalso,intheusualplace,abillettoMr.Lovelace,lesthisimpatienceshouldputhimuponsomerashness;signifying,infourlines,'Thattheinterviewwasover;andthatIhopedmysteadyrefusalofMr.Solmeswoulddiscourageanyfurtherapplicationstomeinhisfavour.'

AlthoughIwasunable(throughthefatigueIhadundergone,andbyreasonofsittingupallnight,towritetoyou,whichmademelielongerthanordinarythismorning)todepositmylettertoyousooner,

yetIhopeyouwillhaveitinsuchgoodtime,asthatyouwillbeabletosendmeananswertoitthisnight,orinthemorningearly;which,ifeversoshort,willinformme,whetherImaydependuponyourmother'sindulgenceornot.Thisitbehovesmetoknowassoonaspossible;fortheyareresolvedtohurrymeawayonSaturdaynextatfarthest;perhapsto-morrow.

Iwillnowinformyouofallthathashappenedprevioustotheirtakingawaymypenandink,aswellasofthemannerinwhichthatactofviolencewascommitted;andthisasbrieflyasIcan.

Myaunt,who(aswellasMr.Solmes,andmytwouncles)liveshere,Ithink,cameuptome,andsaid,shewouldfainhavemehearwhatMr.

SolmeshadtosayofMr.Lovelace--onlythatImaybeapprizedofsomethings,thatwouldconvincemewhatavilemanheis,andwhatawretchedhusbandhemustmake.ImightgivethemwhatdegreeofcreditIpleased;andtakethemwithabatementforMr.Solmes'sinterestedness,ifIthoughtfit.Butitmightbeofusetome,wereitbuttoquestionMr.Lovelaceindirectlyuponsomeofthem,thatrelatedtomyself.

Iwasindifferent,Isaid,aboutwhathecouldsayofme;andIwassureitcouldnotbetomydisadvantage;andashehadnoreasontoimputetometheforwardnesswhichmyunkindfriendshadsocauselesslytaxedme



with.

Shesaid,Thathegavehimselfhighairsonaccountofhisfamily;andspokeasdespicablyofoursasifanalliancewithuswerebeneathhim.

Ireplied,Thathewasaveryunworthyman,ifitweretrue,tospeakslightinglyofafamily,whichwasasgoodashisown,'batingthatitwasnotalliedtothepeerage:thatthedignityitself,Ithought,conveyedmoreshamethanhonourtodescendants,whohadnotmerittoadorn,aswellastobeadornedbyit:thatmybrother'sabsurdpride,indeed,whichmadehimeverywheredeclare,hewouldnevermarrybuttoquality,gaveadisgracefulpreferenceagainstours:butthatwereItobeassured,thatMr.Lovelacewascapableofsomeanaprideastoinsultusorvaluehimselfonsuchanaccidentaladvantage,Ishouldthinkasdespicablyofhissense,aseverybodyelsedidofhismorals.

Sheinsisteduponit,thathehadtakensuchliberties,itwouldbebutcommonjustice(somuchhatedashewasbyallourfamily,andsomuchinveighedagainstinallcompaniesbythem)toinquireintotheprovocationhehadtosaywhatwasimputedtohim;andwhetherthevaluesomeofmyfriendsputupontherichestheypossess(throwingperhapscontemptuponeveryotheradvantage,andevendiscreditingtheirownpretensionstofamily,inordertodepreciatehis)mightnotprovokehimtolikecontempts.Uponthewhole,Madam,saidI,canyousay,thatthe

inveteracyliesnotasmuchonourside,asonhis?Canhesayanythingofusmoredisrespectfulthanwesayofhim?--Andastothesuggestion,sooftenrepeated,thathewillmakeabadhusband,IsitpossibleforhimtouseawifeworsethanIamused;particularlybymybrotherandsister?

Ah,Niece!Ah,mydear!howfirmlyhasthiswickedmanattachedyou!

Perhapsnot,Madam.Butreallygreatcareshouldbetakenbyfathersandmothers,whentheywouldhavetheirdaughtersoftheirmindsintheseparticulars,nottosaythingsthatshallnecessitatethechild,inhonourandgenerosity,totakepartwiththemanherfriendsareaverseto.But,wavingallthis,asIhaveofferedtorenouncehimforever,I

seenowwhyheshouldbementionedtome,norwhyIshouldbewishedtohearanythingabouthim.

Well,butstill,mydear,therecanbenoharmtoletMr.SolmestellyouwhatMr.Lovelacehassaidofyou.SeverelyasyouhavetreatedMr.Solmes,heisfondofattendingyouoncemore:hebegstobeheardonthishead.

Ifitbeproperformetohearit,Madam--

Itis,eagerlyinterruptedshe,veryproper.

Haswhathehassaidofme,Madam,convincedyouofMr.Lovelace's

baseness?

Ithas,mydear:andthatyououghttoabhorhimforit.

Then,dearMadam,bepleasedtoletmehearitfromyourmouth:thereisnoneedthatIshouldseeMr.Solmes,whenitwillhavedoubletheweightfromyou.What,Madam,hasthemandaredtosayofme?

Myauntwasquiteataloss.



Atlast,Well,saidshe,Iseehowyouareattached.Iamsorryforit,Miss.ForIdoassureyou,itwillsignifynothing.YoumustbeMrs.Solmes;andthatinaveryfewdays.

Ifconsentofheart,andassentofvoice,benecessarytoamarriage,IamsureInevercan,noreverwill,bemarriedtoMr.Solmes.Andwhatwillanyofmyrelationsbeanswerablefor,iftheyforcemyhandintohis,andholdittheretilltheserviceberead;Iperhapsinsensible,andinfits,allthetime!

Whataromanticpictureofaforcedmarriagehaveyoudrawn,Niece!Somepeoplewouldsay,youhavegivenafinedescriptionofyourownobstinacy,child.

Mybrotherandsisterwould:butyou,Madam,distinguish,Iamsure,betweenobstinacyandaversion.

Supposedaversionmayoweitsrisetorealobstinacy,mydear.

Iknowmyownheart,Madam.Iwishyoudid.

Well,butseeMr.Solmesoncemore,Niece.Itwillobligeandmakeforyoumorethanyouimagine.

WhatshouldIseehimfor,Madam?--Isthemanfondofhearingmedeclaremyaversiontohim?--Ishedesirousofhavingmemoreandmoreincensemyfriendsagainstmyself?--Omycunning,myambitiousbrother!

Ah,mydear!withalookofpity,asifsheunderstoodthemeaningofmyexclamation--Butmustthatnecessarilybethecase?

Itmust,Madam,iftheywilltakeoffenceatmefordeclaringmysteadfastdetestationofMr.Solmes,asahusband.

Mr.Solmesistobepitied,saidshe.Headoresyou.Helongstoseeyouoncemore.Helovesyouthebetterforyourcruelusageofhimyesterday.Heisinrapturesaboutyou.

Uglycreature,thoughtI!--Heinraptures!

Whatacruelwretchmusthebe,saidI,whocanenjoythedistresstowhichhesolargelycontributes!--ButIsee,Isee,Madam,thatIamconsideredasananimaltobebaited,tomakesportformybrotherandsister,andMr.Solmes.Theyareall,allofthem,wantonintheircruelty.--I,Madam,seetheman!themansoincapableofpity!--IndeedIwillnotseehim,ifIcanhelpit--indeedIwillnot.

WhataconstructiondoesyourlivelywitputupontheadmirationMr.Solmesexpressesofyou!--Passionateasyouwereyesterday,andcontemptuouslyasyoutreatedhim,hedotesuponyouforthevery

severitybywhichhesuffers.Heisnotsoungenerousamanasyouthinkhim:norhasheanunfeelingheart.--Letmeprevailuponyou,mydear,(asyourfatherandmotherexpectitofyou,)toseehimoncemore,andhearwhathehastosaytoyou.

HowcanIconsenttoseehimagain,whenyesterday'sinterviewwasinterpretedbyyou,Madam,aswellasbyeveryother,asanencouragementtohim?whenImyselfdeclared,thatifIsawhimasecondtimebymyownconsent,itmightbesotaken?andwhenIamdeterminednevertoencouragehim?



behaviourhadnotleftonetopleadforme--thatMr.Solmesbithislip,andmuttered,andseemedtohavemoreinhishead,thancouldcomeoutathismouth;thatwasherphrase.

Andyetshealsohintedtome,thatthecruelwretchtookpleasureinseeingme;althoughsomuchtomydisgust--andsowantedtoseemeagain.--Musthenotbeasavage,mydear?

Thewenchwenton--thatmyuncleHarlowesaid,Thatnowhegavemeup--thathepitiedMr.Solmes--yethopedhewouldnotthinkofthistomydetrimenthereafter:thatmyuncleAntonywasofopinion,thatIoughttosmartforit:and,forherpart--andthen,asoneofthefamily,shegaveheropinionofthesameside.

AsIhavenootherwayofhearinganythingthatissaidorintendedbelow,IbearsometimesmorepatientlythanIotherwiseshoulddowithherimpertinence.Andindeedsheseemstobeinallmybrother'sandsister'scounsels.

MissHerveycameupagain,anddemandedanhalf-pintink-bottlewhichtheyhadseeninmycloset.

Igaveitherwithouthesitation.

Iftheyhavenosuspicionofmybeingabletowrite,theywillperhapsletmestaylongerthanotherwisetheywould.

This,mydear,isnowmysituation.

Allmydependence,allmyhopes,areinyourmother'sfavour.Butforthat,IknownotwhatImightdo:Forwhocantellwhatwillcomenext?

LETTERXXXVI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEWEDNESDAY,FOURO'CLOCKINTHEAFTERNOON

IamjustreturnedfromdepositingtheletterIsolatelyfinished,andsuchofMr.Lovelace'slettersasIhadnotsentyou.MylongletterIfoundremainingthere--soyouwillhavebothtogether.

Iamconvinced,methinks,itisnotwithyou.--Butyourservantcannotalwaysbeatleisure.However,IwilldepositasfastasIwrite.Imustkeepnothingbymenow;andwhenIwrite,lockmyselfin,thatImaynotbesurprisednowtheythinkIhavenopenandink.

Ifoundintheusualplaceanotherletterfromthisdiligentman:and,byitscontents,aconfirmationthatnothingpassesinthishousebutheknowsit;andthatalmostassoonasitpasses.Forthislettermusthavebeenwrittenbeforehecouldhavereceivedmybillet;anddeposited,Isuppose,whenthatwastakenaway;yethecomplimentsmeinituponassertingmyself(ashecallsit)onthatoccasiontomyuncleandtoMr.Solmes.

'Heassuresme,however,thattheyaremoreandmoredeterminedtosubdueme.



'Hesendsmethecomplimentsofhisfamily;andacquaintsmewiththeirearnestdesiretoseemeamongstthem.Mostvehementlydoeshepressformyquittingthishouse,whileitisinmypowertogetaway:andagaincravesleavetoorderhisuncle'schariot-and-sixtoattendmycommandsatthestileleadingtothecoppiceadjoiningtothepaddock.

'Settlementstomyownwillheagainoffers.LordM.andLadySarahandLadyBettytobeguaranteesofhishonourandjustice.But,ifIchoosenottogotoeitherofthoseladies,noryettomakehimthehappiestofmensosoonasitisneverthelesshishopethatIwill,heurgesmetowithdrawtomyownhouse,andtoacceptofLordM.formyguardianandprotectortillmycousinMordenarrives.Hecancontrive,hesays,togivemeeasypossessionofit,andwillfillitwithhisfemalerelationsonthefirstinvitationfromme;andMrs.Norton,orMissHowe,maybeundoubtedlyprevailedupontobewithmeforatime.Therecanbenopretenceforlitigation,hesays,whenIamonceinit.Nor,ifIchoosetohaveitso,willheappeartovisitme;norpresumetomentionmarriagetometillallisquietandeasy;tilleverymethodIshallprescribeforareconciliationwithmyfriendsistried;tillmycousincomes;tillsuchsettlementsaredrawnasheshallapproveofforme;andthatIhaveunexceptionableproofsofhisowngoodbehaviour.'

Astothedisgraceapersonofmycharactermaybeapprehensiveofupon

quittingmyfather'shouse,heobserves(tootrulyIdoubt)'ThatthetreatmentImeetwithisineveryone'smouth:yet,hesays,thatthepublicvoiceisinmyfavour.Myfriendsthemselves,hesays,expectthatIwilldomyselfwhathecalls,thisjustice:whyelsedotheyconfineme?Heurges,that,thustreated,theindependenceIhavearighttowillbemysufficientexcuse,goingbutfromtheirhousetomyown,ifIchoosethatmeasure;orinordertotakepossessionofmyown,ifIdonot:thatallthedisgraceIcanreceive,theyhavealreadygivenme:thathisconcernandhisfamily'sconcerninmyhonour,willbeequaltomyown,ifhemaybesohappyevertocallmehis:andhepresumes,hesays,toaver,thatnofamilycanbettersupplythelossofmyownfriendstomethanhis,inwhateverwayIshalldothemthehonourtoacceptofhisandtheirprotection.

'Butherepeats,that,inallevents,hewillopposemybeingcarriedtomyuncle's;beingwellassured,thatIshallbelosttohimforever,ifonceIenterintothathouse.'Hetellsme,'Thatmybrotherandsister,andMr.Solmes,designtobetheretoreceiveme:thatmyfatherandmotherwillnotcomenearmetilltheceremonyisactuallyover:andthatthentheywillappear,inordertotrytoreconcilemetomyodioushusband,byurginguponmetheobligationsIshallbesupposedtobeunderfromadoubleduty.'

How,mydear,amIdrivenononeside,andinvitedontheother!--Thislastintimationisbutatooprobableone.Allthestepstheytakeseemtotendtothis!And,indeed,theyhavedeclaredalmostasmuch.

Heowns,'Thathehasalreadytakenhismeasuresuponthisintelligence:--butthatheissodesirousformysake(Imustsuppose,hesays,thatheowesthemnoforbearancefortheirown)toavoidcomingtoextremities,thathehassufferedaperson,whomtheydonotsuspect,toacquaintthemwithhisresolutions,asifcomeatbyaccident,iftheypersistintheirdesigntocarrymebyviolencetomyuncle's;inhopes,thattheymaybeinducedfromthefearofmischiefwhichmayensue,tochangetheirmeasures:andyetheisaware,thathehasexposedhimselftothegreatestrisquesbyhavingcausedthisintimation



tobegiventhem;since,ifhecannotbenefithimselfbytheirfears,thereisnodoubtbuttheywilldoublyguardthemselvesagainsthimuponit.'

Whatadangerousenterpriser,however,isthisman!

'Hebegsafewlinesfrommebywayofanswertothisletter,eitherthisevening,orto-morrowmorning.Ifhebenotsofavoured,heshallconclude,fromwhatheknowsofthefixeddeterminationofmyrelations,thatIshallbeunderacloserrestraintthanbefore:andheshallbeobligedtotakehismeasuresaccordingtothatpresumption.'

Youwillseebythisabstract,aswellbyhisletterprecedingthis,(forbothruninthesamestrain,)howstrangelyforwardthedifficultyofmysituationhasbroughthiminhisdeclarationsandproposals;andinhisthreateningstoo:which,butforthat,Iwouldnottakefromhim.

Something,however,Imustspeedilyresolveupon,oritwillbeoutofmypowertohelpmyself.

NowIthinkofit,Iwillenclosehisletter,(somighthavesparedtheabstractofit,)thatyoumaythebetterjudgeofallhisproposals,andintelligence;andlesitshouldfallintootherhands.Icannotforgivethecontents,althoughIamatalosswhatanswertoreturn.*

*SheaccordinglyenclosesMr.Lovelace'sletter.Butasthemostmaterialcontentsofitaregiveninherabstract,itisomitted.

Icannotbearthethoughtsofthrowingmyselfupontheprotectionofhisfriends:--butIwillnotexaminehisproposalscloselytillIhearfromyou.Indeed,Ihavenoeligiblehope,butinyourmother'sgoodnessHersisaprotectionIcouldmorereputablyflyto,thantothatofanyotherperson:andfromhersshouldbereadytoreturntomyfather's(forthebreachthenwouldnotbeirreparable,asitwouldbe,ifIfledto

hisfamily):toreturn,Irepeat,onsuchtermsasshallsecurebutmynegative;notmyindependence:Idonotaimatthat(soshalllayyourmotherunderthelessdifficulty);thoughIhavearighttobeputintopossessionofmygrandfather'sestate,ifIweretoinsistuponit:--sucharight,Imean,asmybrotherexertsinthebid,thatIshouldeverthinkmyselffreedfrommyfather'sreasonablecontroul,whateverrightmygrandfather'swillhasgivenme!He,goodgentleman,leftmethatestate,asarewardofmyduty,andnottosetmeaboveit,ashasbeenjustlyhintedtome:andthisreflectionmakesmemorefearfulofnotansweringtheintentionofsovaluableabequest.--Oh!thatmyfriendsknewbutmyheart!--Wouldbutthinkofitastheyusedtodo!--Foroncemore,Isay,Ifitdeceivemenot,itisnotaltered,althoughtheirsare!

Wouldbutyourmotherpermityoutosendherchariot,orchaise,tothebye-placewhereMr.LovelaceproposesLordM.'sshallcome,(provoked,intimidated,andapprehensive,asIam,)Iwouldnothesitateamomentwhattodo.Placemeanywhere,asIhavesaidbefore--inacot,inagarret;anywhere--disguisedasaservant--orletmepassasaservant'ssister--sothatImaybutescapeMr.Solmesononehand,andthedisgraceofrefugingwiththefamilyofamanatenmitywithmyown,ontheother;andIshallbeinsomemeasurehappy!--Shouldyourgoodmotherrefuseme,whatrefuge,orwhose,canIflyto?--Dearest



Mymotherbidhersay,ifIexpostulatedabouttheseorders,andaboutmypenandink,'thatreadingwasmoretothepurpose,atpresent,thanwriting:thatbytheone,Imightbetaughtmyduty;thattheother,consideringwhomIwasbelievedtowriteto,onlystiffenedmywill:thatmyneedle-workshadbetterbepursuedthanmyairings;whichwereobservedtobetakeninallweathers.'

So,mydear,ifIdonotresolveuponsomethingsoon,Ishallneitherbeabletoavoidtheintendedevil,norhaveitinmypowertocorrespondwithyou.

*****

WEDNESDAYNIGHT.

Allisinahurrybelow-stairs.Bettyisinandoutlikeaspy.Somethingisworking,Iknownotwhat.Iamreallyagooddealdisorderedinbodyaswellasinmind.IndeedIamquiteheart-sick.

Iwillgodown,though'tisalmostdark,onpretenceofgettingalittleairandcomposure.Roberthasmytwoformer,Ihope,beforenow:andIwilldepositthis,withLovelace'senclosed,ifIcan,forfearofanothersearch.

IknownotwhatIshalldo!--Allissostrangelybusy!--Doorsclaptto--goingoutofoneapartment,hurryingly,asImaysay,intoanother.Bettyinheralarmingway,staring,asifoffrightedimportance;twicewithmeinhalfanhour;calleddowninhastebyShoreythelasttime;leavingmewithstillmoremeaninginherlooksandgestures--yetpossiblynothinginallthisworthyofmyapprehensions--

Hereagaincomesthecreature,withherdeep-drawnaffectedsighs,andherOdear's!Odear's!

*****

Moredarkhintsthrownoutbythesaucycreature.Butshewillnotexplainherself.'Supposethisprettybusinessendsinmurder!shesays.ImayruemyoppositionaslongasIlive,foraughtsheknows.Parentswillnotbebaffledoutoftheirchildrenbyimprudentgentlemen;norisitfittheyshould.ItmaycomehometomewhenIleastexpectit.'

Thesearethegloomyandperplexinghintsthisimpertinentthrowsout.ProbablytheyarosefromtheinformationMr.Lovelacesayshehassecretlypermittedthemtohave(fromthisviledouble-facedagent,Isuppose!)ofhisresolutiontopreventmybeingcarriedtomyuncle's.

Howjustly,ifso,maythisexasperatethem!--HowamIdriventoandfro,likeafeatherinthewind,atthepleasureoftherash,theselfish,theheadstrong!andwhenIamasaversetotheproceedingsoftheone,asIamtothoseoftheother!ForalthoughIwasinducedtocarryonthisunhappycorrespondence,asIthinkIoughttocallit,inhopestopreventmischief;yetindiscreetmeasuresarefallenuponbytherashman,beforeI,whoamsomuchconcernedintheeventofthepresentcontentions,canbeconsulted:andbetweenhisviolenceononehand,andthatofmyrelationsontheother,Ifindmyselfindangerfromboth.



Otherpeople!--HowIhatethepoorwords,wherefriendshipisconcerned,andwheretheprotectiontobegivenmaybeofsomuchconsequencetoafriend,andofsolittledetrimenttoone'sself?

Iamdelightedwithyourspirit,however.IexpecteditnotfromyouNordidthey,Iamsure.Norwouldyou,perhaps,haveexertedit,ifLovelace'sintelligenceofSolmes'snursery-officeshadnotsetyouup.Iwondernotthatthewretchissaidtoloveyouthebetterforit.Whatanhonourwoulditbetohimtohavesuchawife?Andhecanbeevenwithyouwhenyouareso.Hemustindeedbeasavage,asyousay.--Yetheislesstoblameforhisperseverance,thanthoseofyourownfamily,whommostyoureverencefortheirs.

Itiswell,asIhaveoftensaid,thatIhavenotsuchprovocationsandtrials;IshouldperhapslongagohavetakenyourcousinDolly'sadvice--yetdareInottotouchthatkey.--Ishallalwayslovethegoodgirlforhertendernesstoyou.

IknownotwhattosayofLovelace;norwhattothinkofhispromises,norofhisproposalstoyou.'Tiscertainthatyouarehighlyesteemedbyallhisfamily.Theladiesarepersonsofunblemishedhonour.MyLordM.isalso(asmenandpeersgo)amanofhonour.Icouldtellwhattoadviseanyotherpersonintheworldtodobutyou.Somuchexpectedfromyou!--Suchashininglight!--Yourquittingyourfather'shouse,and

throwingyourselfintotheprotectionofafamily,howeverhonourable,thathasamaninit,whoseperson,parts,declarations,andpretensions,willbethoughttohaveengagedyourwarmestesteem;--methinksIamratherforadvisingthatyoushouldgetprivatelytoLondon;andnottoleteitherhim,oranybodyelsebutme,knowwhereyouare,tillyourcousinMordencomes.

Astogoingtoyouruncle's,thatyoumustnotdo,ifyoucanhelpit.NormustyouhaveSolmes,that'scertain:Notonlybecauseofhisunworthinessineveryrespect,butbecauseoftheaversionyouhavesoopenlyavowedtohim;whicheverybodyknowsandtalksof;astheydoofyourapprobationoftheother.Foryourreputationsaketherefore,aswellastopreventmischief,youmusteitherlivesingle,orhave

Lovelace.

IfyouthinkofgoingtoLondon,letmeknow;andIhopeyouwillhavetimetoallowmeafurtherconcertastothemannerofyourgettingaway,andthither,andhowtoprocureproperlodgingsforyou.

Toobtainthistime,youmustpalliatealittle,andcomeintosomeseemingcompromise,ifyoucannotdootherwise.Drivenasyouaredriven,itwillbestrangeifyouarenotobligedtopartwithafewofyouradmirablepunctilio's.

YouwillobservefromwhatIhavewritten,thatIhavenotsucceededwithmymother.

Iamextremelymortifiedanddisappointed.Wehavehadverystrongdebatesuponit.But,besidesthenarrowargumentofembroilingourselveswithotherpeople'saffairs,asabove-mentioned,shewillhaveit,thatitisyourdutytocomply.Shesays,shewasalwaysofopinionthatdaughtersshouldimplicitlysubmittothewilloftheirparentsinthegreatarticleofmarriage;andthatshegovernedherselfaccordinglyinmarryingmyfather;whoatfirstwasmorethechoiceofherparentsthanherown.



*SeeVol.I.LetterIV.

Itrembleforyoubutuponsupposingwhatmaybetheconsequenceofaconflictuponthisoccasion.Lovelaceowessomeofthemvengeance.Thisgivesmeadoubleconcern,thatmymothershouldrefuseherconsenttotheprotectionIhadsetmyheartuponprocuringforyou.

Mymotherwillnotbreakfastwithoutme.Aquarrelhasitsconvenienciessometimes.Yettoomuchlove,Ithink,isasbadastoolittle.

*****

Wehavejustnowhadanotherpull.Uponmyword,sheisexcessively--whatshallIsay?--unpersuadable--Imustletheroffwiththatsoftword.

WhowastheoldGreek,thatsaid,hegovernedAthens;hiswife,him;andhisson,her?

Itwasnotmymother'sfault[Iamwritingtoyou,youknow]thatshedidnotgovernmyfather.ButIambutadaughter!--YetIthoughtIwas

notquitesopowerlesswhenIwassetuponcarryingapoint,asIfindmyselftobe.

Adieu,mydear!--Happiertimesmustcome--andthatquicklytoo.--Thestringscannotlongcontinuetobethusoverstrained.Theymustbreakorberelaxed.Ineitherway,thecertaintymustbepreferabletothesuspense.

Onewordmore:

Ithinkinmyconscienceyoumusttakeoneofthesetwoalternatives;eithertoconsenttoletusgotoLondontogetherprivately;[inwhichcase,Iwillprocureavehicle,andmeetyouatyourappointmentatthe

stiletowhichLovelaceproposestobringhisuncle'schariot;]or,toputyourselfintotheprotectionofLordM.andtheladiesofhisfamily.

Youhaveanother,indeed;andthatis,ifyouareabsolutelyresolvedagainstSolmes,tomeetandmarryLovelacedirectly.

Whichsoeveroftheseyoumakechoiceof,youwillhavethisplea,bothtoyourself,andtotheworld,thatyouareconcludedbythesameuniformprinciplethathasgovernedyourwholeconduct,eversincethecontentionbetweenLovelaceandyourbrotherhasbeenonfoot:thatistosay,thatyouhavechosenalesserevil,inhopestopreventagreater.

Adieu!andHeavendirectforthebestmybelovedcreature,prays

HerANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXXVIII



MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAY,APRIL6.

Ithankyou,mydearestfriend,forthepainsyouhavetakeninaccountingsoaffectionatelyformypapersnotbeingtakenawayyesterday;andforthekindprotectionyouwouldhaveprocuredforme,ifyoucould.

ThiskindprotectionwaswhatIwishedfor:butmywishes,raisedatfirstbyyourlove,wererathergovernedbymydespairofotherrefuge[havingbeforecastabout,andnotbeingabletodetermine,whatIoughttodo,andwhatIcoulddo,inasituationsounhappy]thanbyareasonablehope:Forwhyindeedshouldanybodyembroilthemselvesforothers,whentheycanavoidit?

Allmyconsolationis,asIhavefrequentlysaid,thatIhavenot,bymyowninadvertenceorfolly,broughtmyselfintothissadsituation.IfIhad,Ishouldnothavedaredtolookuptoanybodywiththeexpectationofprotectionorassistance,nortoyouforexcuseofthetroubleIgiveyou.Butneverthelessweshouldnotbeangryataperson'snotdoingthatforourselves,orforourfriend,whichshethinkssheoughtnottodo;andwhichshehasitinheroptioneithertodo,ortoletitalone.Muchlesshaveyouarighttobedispleasedwithsoprudentamother,fornotengagingherselfsowarmlyinmyfavour,asyouwishedshe

would.Ifmyownauntcangivemeup,andthatagainstherjudgment,asImaypresumetosay;andifmyfatherandmother,anduncles,whooncelovedmesowell,canjoinsostrenuouslyagainstme;canIexpect,oroughtyou,theprotectionofyourmother,inoppositiontothem?

Indeed,mydearlove,[permitmetobeveryserious,]IamafraidIamsingledout(eitherformyownfaults,orforthefaultsofmyfamily,orperhapsforthefaultsofboth)tobeaveryunhappycreature!--signallyunhappy!Forseeyounothowirresistiblethewavesofafflictioncometumblingdownuponme?

Wehavebeentillwithinthesefewweeks,everyoneofus,toohappy.Nocrosses,novexations,butwhatwegaveourselvesfromthepamperedness,

asImaycallit,ofourownwills.Surroundedbyourheapsandstores,hoardedupasfastasacquired,wehaveseemedtothinkourselvesoutofthereachoftheboltsofadversefate.Iwastheprideofallmyfriends,proudmyselfoftheirpride,andgloryinginmystanding.WhoknowswhatthejusticeofHeavenmayinflict,inordertoconvinceus,thatwearenotoutofthereachofmisfortune;andtoreduceustoabetterreliance,thanwhatwehavehithertopresumptuouslymade?

Ishouldhavebeenverylittlethebetterfortheconversation-visitswiththegoodDr.Lewenusedtohonourmewith,andfortheprincipleswrought(asImaysay)intomyearliestmindbymypiousMrs.Norton,foundedonherreverendfather'sexperience,aswellasonherown,ifIcouldnotthusretrospectandargue,insuchastrangesituationaswe

arein.Strange,Imaywellcallit;fordon'tyousee,mydear,thatweseemalltobeimpelled,asitwere,byaperversefate,whichnoneofusareabletoresist?--andyetallarising(withastrongappearanceofself-punishment)fromourselves?Donotmyparentsseethehopefulchildren,fromwhomtheyexpectedaperpetuityofworldlyhappinesstotheirbranchingfamily,nowgrownuptoanswerthetillnowdistanthope,settingtheirangryfacesagainsteachother,pullingupbytheroots,asImaysay,thathopewhichwasreadytobecarriedintoaprobablecertainty?



ownedbefore,)thatalthoughtodothiswouldbethesamethingintheeyeoftheworldasputtingmyselfintoMr.Lovelace'sprotection,yetIthinkIwoulddoitratherthanbeMr.Solmes'swife,iftherewereevidentlynootherwaytoavoidbeingso.

Mr.Lovelace,youhaveseen,proposestocontriveawaytoputmeintopossessionofmyownhouse;andhetellsme,thathewillsoonfillitwiththeladiesofhisfamily,asmyvisiters;--uponmyinvitation,however,tothem.AveryinconsiderateproposalIthinkittobe,anduponwhichIcannotexplainmyselftohim.Whatanexertionofindependencydoesitchalkoutforme!How,wereItoattendtohim,(andnottothenaturalconsequencestowhichthefollowingofhisadvicewouldleadme,)mightIbedrawnbygentlewordsintothepenetrationofthemostviolentacts!--ForhowcouldIgainpossession,buteitherbylegallitigation,which,wereIinclinedtohaverecoursetoit,(asInevercanbe,)musttakeuptime;orbyforciblyturningoutthepersonswhommyfatherhasplacedthere,tolookafterthegardens,thehouse,andthefurniture--personsentirelyattachedtohimself,andwho,asIknow,havebeenlatelyinstructedbymybrother?

Yourthirdalternative,tomeetandmarryMr.Lovelacedirectly;amanwithwhosemoralsIamfarfrombeingsatisfied--astep,thatcouldnotbetakenwiththeleasthopeofeverobtainingpardonfromorreconciliationwithanyofmyfriends;andagainstwhichathousand

objectionsriseinmymind--thatisnottobethoughtof.

Whatappearstome,uponthefullestdeliberation,themosteligible,ifImustbethusdriven,istheescapingtoLondon.ButIwouldforfeitallmyhopesofhappinessinthislife,ratherthanyoushouldgoawaywithme,asyourashly,thoughwiththekindestintentions,propose.IfIcouldgetsafelythither,andbeprivate,methinksImightremainabsolutelyindependentofMr.Lovelace,andatlibertyeithertomakeproposalstomyfriends,or,shouldtheyrenounceme,(andIhadnootherorbetterway,)tomaketermswithhim;supposingmycousinMorden,onhisarrival,weretojoinwithmyotherrelations.Buttheywouldthenperhapsindulgemeinmychoiceofasinglelife,ongivinghimup:therenewingtothemthisoffer,whenatmyownliberty,will

atleastconvincethem,thatIwasinearnestwhenImadeitfirst:and,uponmyword,Iwouldstandtoit,dearasyouseemtothink,whenyouaredisposedtorallyme,itwouldcostme,tostandtoit.

If,mydear,youcanprocureavehicleforusboth,youcanperhapsprocureoneformesingly:butcanitbedonewithoutembroilingyourselfwithyourmother,orherwithourfamily?--Beitcoach,chariot,chaise,wagon,orhorse,Imatternot,providedyouappearnottohaveahandinmywithdrawing.Only,incaseitbeoneofthetwolatter,IbelieveImustdesireyoutogetmeanordinarygownandcoat,orhabit,ofsomeservant;havingnoconcertwithanyofourown:themoreordinarythebetter.Theymustbethrustoninthewood-house;whereIcanputthemon;andthenslidedownfromthebank,that

separatesthewood-yardfromthegreenlane.

But,alas!mydear,this,eventhisalternative,isnotwithoutdifficulties,which,toaspiritsolittleenterprisingasmine,seeminamannerinsuperable.Thesearemyreflectionsuponit.

Iamafraid,inthefirstplace,thatIshallnothavetimefortherequisitepreparationsforanescape.

ShouldIbeeitherdetectedinthosepreparations,orpursuedand



overtakeninmyflight,andsobroughtback,thenwouldtheythinkthemselvesdoublywarrantedtocompelmetohavetheirSolmes:and,consciousofanintendedfault,perhaps,Ishouldbethelessabletocontendwiththem.

ButwereIeventogetsafelytoLondon,Iknownobodytherebutbyname;andthosethetradesmentoourfamily;who,nodoubt,wouldbethefirstwrittentoandengagedtofindmeout.AndshouldMr.LovelacediscoverwhereIwas,andheandmybrothermeet,whatmischiefsmightensuebetweenthem,whetherIwerewillingornottoreturntoHarlowe-place!

ButsupposingIcouldremainthereconcealed,towhatmightmyyouth,mysex,andunacquaintednessofthewaysofthatgreat,wickedtown,exposeme!--Ishouldhardlydaretogotochurchforfearofbeingdiscovered.PeoplewouldwonderhowIlived.WhoknowsbutImightpassforakeptmistress;andthat,althoughnobodycametome,yet,thateverytimeIwentout,itmightbeimaginedtobeinpursuanceofsomeassignation?

You,mydear,whoalonewouldknowwheretodirecttome,wouldbewatchedinallyoursteps,andinallyourmessages;andyourmother,atpresentnothighlypleasedwithourcorrespondence,wouldthenhavereasontobemoredispleased:Andmightnotdifferencesfollowbetweenherandyou,thatwouldmakemeveryunhappy,wereItoknowthem?And

thisthemorelikely,asyoutakeitsounaccountably(and,givemeleavetosay,soungenerously)intoyourhead,torevengeyourselfupontheinnocentMr.Hickman,forallthedispleasureyourmothergivesyou.

WereLovelacetofindoutmyplaceofabode,thatwouldbethesamethingintheeyeoftheworldasifIhadactuallygoneoffwithhim:Forwouldhe,doyouthink,beprevailedupontoforbearvisitingme?Andthenhisunhappycharacter(afoolishman!)wouldbenocredittoanyyoungcreaturedesirousofconcealment.Indeedtheworld,letmeescapewhither,andtowhomsoeverIcould,wouldconcludehimtobethecontriverofit.

Thesearethedifficultieswhicharisetomeonrevolvingthisscheme;

which,nevertheless,mightappearsurmountabletoamoreenterprisingspiritinmycircumstances.Ifyou,mydear,thinkthemsurmountableinanyoneofthecasesput,[andtobesureIcantakenocourse,butwhatmusthavesomedifficultyinit,]bepleasedtoletmeknowyourfreeandfullthoughtsuponit.

Hadyou,mydearfriend,beenmarried,thenshouldIhavehadnodoubtbutthatyouandMr.Hickmanwouldhaveaffordedanasylumtoapoorcreaturemorethanhalflostinherownapprehensionforwantofonekindprotectingfriend!

YousayIshouldhavewrittentomycousinMordenthemomentIwastreateddisgracefully:ButcouldIhavebelievedthatmyfriendswould

nothavesoftenedbydegreeswhentheysawmyantipathytotheirSolmes?

Ihadthoughtsindeedseveraltimesofwritingtomycousin:butbythetimeananswercouldhavecome,Iimaginedallwouldhavebeenover,asifithadneverbeen:sofromdaytoday,fromweektoweek,Ihopedon:and,afterall,Imightasreasonablyfear(asIhaveheretoforesaid)thatmycousinwouldbebroughttosideagainstme,asthatsomeofthoseIhavenamedwould.

Andthentoappealacousin[Imusthavewrittenwithwarmthtoengage



him]againstafather;thiswasnotadesirablethingtosetabout.ThenIhadnot,youknow,onesoulonmyside;mymotherherselfagainstme.Tobesuremycousinwouldhavesuspendedhisjudgmenttillhecouldhavearrived.Hemightnothavebeeninhastetocome,hopingthemaladywouldcureitself:buthadhewritten,hislettersprobablywouldhaveruninthequalifyingstyle;topersuademetosubmit,orthemonlytorelax.Hadhislettersbeenmoreonmysidethanontheirs,theywouldnothaveregardedthem:norperhapshimself,hadhecomeandbeenanadvocateforme:foryouseehowstrangelydeterminedtheyare;howtheyhaveover-awedorgotineverybody;sothatnoonedareopentheirlipsinmybehalf.Andyouhaveheardthatmybrotherpusheshismeasureswiththemoreviolence,thatallmaybeoverwithmebeforemycousin'sexpectedarrival.

Butyoutellme,that,inordertogaintime,Imustpalliate;thatImustseemtocompromisewithmyfriends:Buthowpalliate?Howseemtocompromise?Youwouldnothavemeendeavourtomakethembelieve,thatIwillconsenttowhatIneverintendedtoconsentto!Youwouldnothavemetogaintime,withaviewtodeceive!

Todoevil,thatgoodmaycomeofit,isforbidden:AndshallIdoevil,yetknownotwhethergoodmaycomeofitornot?

Forbidit,heaven!thatClarissaHarloweshouldhaveitinherthought

toserve,oreventosaveherselfattheexpenseofhersincerity,andbyastudieddeceit!

Andisthere,afterall,nowaytoescapeonegreatevil,butbyplungingmyselfintoanother?--Whatanill-fatedcreatureamI!--Prayforme,mydearestNancy!--mymindisatpresentsomuchdisturbed,thatIcanhardlyprayformyself.

LETTERXXXIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYNIGHT.

ThisalarminghurryImentionedundermydateoflastnight,andBetty'ssaucydarkhints,comeouttobeowingtowhatIguessedtheywere;thatistosay,totheprivateintimationMr.Lovelacecontrivedourfamilyshouldhaveofhisinsolentresolution[insolentImustcallit]topreventmybeingcarriedtomyuncle's.

Isawatthetimethatitwasaswrongwithrespecttoansweringhisownview,asitwasinsolent:For,couldhethink,asBetty(Isupposefromherbetters)justlyobserved,thatparentswouldbeinsultedoutoftheirrighttodisposeoftheirownchild,byaviolentman,whomthey

hate;andwhocouldhavenopretensiontodisputethatrightwiththem,unlesswhathehadfromherwhohadnoneoverherself?Andhowmustthisinsolenceofhis,aggravatedasmybrotherisabletoaggravateit,exasperatethemagainstme?

Therashmanhasindeedsofargainedhispoint,astointimidatethemfromattemptingtocarrymeaway:buthehasputthemuponasurerandamoredesperatemeasure:andthishasdrivenmealsointooneasdesperate;theconsequenceofwhich,althoughhecouldnotforeseeit,*mayperhapstoowellanswerhisgreatend,littleashedeservestohave



itanswered.

*Shewasmistakeninthis.Mr.Lovelacedidforeseethisconsequence.Allhiscontrivancesledtoit,andthewholefamily,asheboasts,unknowntothemselves,werebutsomanypuppetsdancedbyhiswires.SeeVol.I.LetterXXXI.

Inshort,Ihavedone,asfarasIknow,themostrashthingthateverIdidinmylife.

Butletmegiveyouthemotive,andthentheactionwillfollowofcourse.

Aboutsixo'clockthisevening,myaunt(whostayshereallnight,onmyaccount,nodoubt)cameupandtappedatmydoor;forIwaswriting;andhadlockedmyselfin.Iopenedit;andsheentering,thusdeliveredherself:

Icomeoncemoretovisityou,mydear;butsorelyagainstmywill;becauseitistoimparttoyoumattersoftheutmostconcerntoyou,andtothewholefamily.

What,Madam,isnowtobedonewithme?saidI,whollyattentive.

Youwillnotbehurriedawaytoyouruncle's,child;letthatcomfortyou.--Theyseeyouraversiontogo.--YouwillnotbeobligedtogotoyouruncleAntony's.

Howyoureviveme,Madam!thisisacordialtomyheart!

Ilittlethought,mydear,whatwastofollowthissupposedcondescension.

AndthenIranoverwithblessingsforthisgoodnews,(andshepermittedmesotodo,byhersilence);congratulatingmyself,that

Ithoughtmyfathercouldnotresolvetocarrythingstothelastextremity.--

Hold,Niece,saidshe,atlast--youmustnotgiveyourselftoomuchjoyupontheoccasionneither.--Don'tbesurprised,mydear.--Whylookyouuponme,child,withsoaffectinganearnestness?--butyoumustbeMrs.Solmes,forallthat.

Iwasdumb.

Shethentoldme,thattheyhadundoubtedinformation,thatacertaindesperateruffian(Imustexcuseherthatword,shesaid)hadpreparedarmedmentoway-laymybrotheranduncles,andseizeme,andcarryme

off.--Surely,shesaid,Iwasnotconsentingtoaviolencethatmightbefollowedbymurderononesideortheother;perhapsonboth.

Iwasstillsilent.

Thatthereforemyfather(stillmoreexasperatedthanbefore)hadchangedhisresolutionastomygoingtomyuncle's;andwasdeterminednextTuesdaytosetoutthitherhimselfwithmymother;andthat(foritwastonopurposetoconcealaresolutionsosoontobeputintoexecution)--Imustnotdisputeitanylonger--onWednesdayImustgive



myhand--astheywouldhaveme.

Sheproceeded,thatorderswerealreadygivenforalicense:thattheceremonywastobeperformedinmyownchamber,inpresenceofallmyfriends,exceptofmyfatherandmother;whowouldnotreturn,norseeme,tillallwasover,andtilltheyhadagoodaccountofmybehaviour.

Theveryintelligence,mydear!--theveryintelligencethis,whichLovelacegaveme!

Iwasstilldumb--onlysighing,asifmyheartwouldbreak.

Shewenton,comfortingme,asshethought.'Shelaidbeforemethemeritofobedience;andtoldme,thatifitweremydesirethatmyNortonshouldbepresentattheceremony,itwouldbecompliedwith:thatthepleasureIshouldreceivefromreconcilingalmyfriendstome,andintheircongratulationsuponit,mustneedsoverbalance,withsuchaoneasme,thedifferenceofpersons,howeverpreferableImightthinktheonemantotheother:thatlovewasafleetingthing,littlebetterthananame,wheremortalityandvirtuedidnotdistinguishtheobjectofit:thatachoicemadebyitsdictateswasseldomhappy;atleastnotdurablyso:norwasittobewonderedat,whenitnaturallyexaltedtheobjectaboveitsmerits,andmadetheloverblindtofaults,thatwerevisibletoeverybodyelse:sothatwhenanearerintimacystriptitof

itsimaginaryperfections,itleftfrequentlybothpartiessurprised,thattheycouldbesogrosslycheated;andthatthentheindifferencebecamestrongerthantheloveeverwas.Thatawomangaveamangreatadvantages,andinspiredhimwithgreatvanity,whensheavowedherloveforhim,andpreferenceofhim;andwasgenerallyrequitedwithinsolenceandcontempt:whereastheconfessedly-obligedman,itwasprobable,wouldbeallreverenceandgratitude'--andIcannottellwhat.

'You,mydear,saidshe,believeyoushallbeunhappy,ifyouhaveMr.Solmes:yourparentsthinkthecontrary;andthatyouwillbeundoubtedlyso,wereyoutohaveMr.Lovelace,whosemoralsareunquestionablybad:supposeitwereyoursadlottoconsider,whatgreatconsolationyouwillhaveononehand,ifyoupursueyourparents'

advice,thatyoudidso;whatmortificationontheother,thatbyfollowingyourown,youhavenobodytoblamebutyourself.'

This,youremember,mydear,wasanargumentenforceduponmebyMrs.Norton.

TheseandotherobservationswhichshemadewereworthyofmyauntHervey'sgoodsenseandexperience,andappliedtoalmostanyyoungcreaturewhostoodinoppositiontoherparents'will,butonewhohadofferedtomakethesacrificesIhaveofferedtomake,oughttohavehadtheirdueweight.Butalthoughitwaseasytoanswersomeoftheminmyownparticularcase;yethavingoverandover,tomymother,beforemyconfinement,andtomybrotherandsister,andeventomyauntHervey,

since,saidwhatImustnowhaverepeated,Iwassomuchmortifiedandafflictedatthecrueltidingsshebroughtme,thathoweverattentiveIwastowhatshesaid,Ihadneitherpowernorwilltoansweroneword;and,hadshenotstoppedofherself,shemighthavegoneonanhourlonger,withoutinterruptionfromme.

Observingthis,andthatIonlysatweeping,myhandkerchiefcoveringmyface,andmybosomheavingreadytoburst;What!noanswer,mydear?--Whysomuchsilentgrief?YouknowIhavealwayslovedyou.Youknow,thatIhavenointerestintheaffair.YouwouldnotpermitMr.



SolmestoacquaintyouwithsomethingswhichwouldhavesetyourheartagainstMr.Lovelace.ShallItellyousomeofthematterschargedagainsthim?--shallI,mydear?

StillIansweredonlybymytearsandsighs.

Well,child,youshallbetoldthesethingsafterwards,whenyouwillbeinabetterstateofmindtohearthem;andthenyouwillrejoiceintheescapeyouwillhavehad.Itwillbesomeexcuse,then,foryoutopleadforyourbehaviourtoMr.Solmes,thatyoucouldnothavebelievedMr.Lovelacehadbeensoveryvileaman.

Myheartflutteredwithimpatienceandangeratbeingsoplainlytalkedtoasthewifeofthisman;butyetIthenchosetobesilent.IfIhadspoken,itwouldhavebeenwithvehemence.

Strange,mydear,suchsilence!--Yourconcernisinfinitelymoreonthissidetheday,thanitwillbeontheother.--Butletmeaskyou,anddonotbedispleased,Willyouchoosetoseewhatgenerousstipulationsforyouthereareinthesettlements?--Youhaveknowledgebeyondyouryears--givethewritingsaperusal:do,mydear:theyareengrossed,andreadyforsigning,andhavebeenforsometime.Excuseme,mylove--Imeannottodisorderyou:--yourfatherwouldobligemetobringthemup,andtoleavethemwithyou.Hecommandsyoutoreadthem.Buttoread

them,Niece--sincetheyareengrossed,andwerebeforeyoumadethemabsolutelyhopeless.

Andthen,tomygreatterror,shedrewsomeparchmentsformherhandkerchief,whichshehadkept,(unobservedbyme,)underherapron;andrising,putthemintheoppositewindow.Hadsheproducedaserpent,Icouldnothavebeenmorefrightened.

Oh!mydearestAunt,turningawaymyface,andholdingoutmyhands,hidefrommyeyesthosehorridparchments!--Letmeconjureyoutotellme--byallthetendernessofnearrelationship,anduponyourhonour,andbyyourloveforme,say,Aretheyabsolutelyresolved,that,comewhatwill,Imustbethatman's?

Mydear,youmusthaveMr.Solmes:indeedyoumust.

IndeedIneverwill!--This,asIhavesaidoverandover,isnotoriginallymyfather'swill.--IndeedIneverwill--andthatisallIwillsay!

Itisyourfather'swillnow,repliedmyaunt:and,consideringhowallthefamilyisthreatenedbyMr.Lovelace,andtheresolutionhehascertainlytakentoforceyououtoftheirhands,Icannotbutsaytheyareintheright,nottobebulliedoutoftheirchild.

Well,Madam,thennothingremainsformetosay.Iammadedesperate.I

carenotwhatbecomesofme.

Yourpiety,andyourprudence,mydear,andMr.Lovelace'simmoralcharacter,togetherwithhisdaringinsults,andthreatenings,whichoughttoincenseyou,asmuchasanybody,areeveryone'sdependence.Wearesurethetimewillcome,whenyou'llthinkverydifferentlyofthestepsyourfriendstaketodisappointamanwhohasmadehimselfsojustlyobnoxioustothemall.

Shewithdrew;leavingmefullofgriefandindignation:--andasmuch



outofhumourwithMr.Lovelaceaswithanybody;who,byhisconceitedcontrivances,hasmadethingsworseformethanbefore;deprivingmeofthehopesIhadofgainingtimetoreceiveyouradvice,andprivateassistancetogettotown;andleavingmenototheradvice,inallappearance,thaneithertothrowmyselfuponhisfamily,ortobemademiserableforeverwithMr.Solmes.ButIwasstillresolvedtoavoidboththeseevils,ifpossible.

IsoundedBetty,inthefirstplace,(whommyauntsentup,notthinkingitproper,asBettytoldme,thatIshouldbeleftbymyself,andwho,Ifound,knewtheirdesigns,)whetheritwerenotprobablethattheywouldforbear,atmyearnestentreaty,topushmatterstothethreatenedextremity.

Butsheconfirmedallmyauntsaid;rejoicing(asshesaidtheyalldid)thatMr.Lovelacehadgiventhemsogoodapretencetosavemefromhimnow,andforever.

Sheranonaboutequipagesbespoken;talkedofmybrother'sandsister'sexultationsthatnowthewholefamilywouldsoonbereconciledtoeachother:oftheservants'joyuponit:oftheexpectedlicense:ofavisittobepaidmebyDr.Lewen,oranotherclergyman,whomtheynamednottoher;whichwastocrownthework:andofotherpreparations,soparticular,asmademedreadthattheydesignedtosurprisemeintoa

stillnearerdaythanWednesday.

Thesethingsmademeexcessivelyuneasy.Iknewnotwhattoresolveupon.

Atonetime,WhathaveItodo,thoughtI,buttothrowmyselfatonceintotheprotectionofLadyBettyLawrance?--Butthen,inresentmentofhisfinecontrivances,whichhadsoabominablydisconcertedme,Isoonresolvedtothecontrary:andatlastconcludedtoaskthefavourofanotherhalf-hour'sconversationwithmyaunt.

IsentBettytoherwithmyrequest.

Shecame.

Iputittoher,inthemostearnestmanner,totellme,whetherImightnotobtainthefavourofafortnight'srespite?

Sheassuredme,itwouldnotbegranted.

Wouldaweek?Surelyaweekwould?

Shebelievedaweekmight,ifIwouldpromisetwothings:thefirst,uponmyhonour,nottowritealineoutofthehouse,inthatweek:foritwasstillsuspected,shesaid,thatIfoundmeanstowritetosomebody.And,secondly,tomarryMr.Solmes,attheexpirationofit.

Impossible!Impossible!Isaidwithapassion--What!mightnotIbeobligedwithoneweek,withoutsuchahorridconditionasthelast?

Shewouldgodown,shesaid,thatshemightnotseemofherownheadtoputuponmewhatIthoughtahardshipsogreat.

Shewentdown:andcameupagain.

DidIwant,wastheanswer,togivethevilestofmenanopportunityto



puthismurderousschemesintoexecution?--Itwastimeforthemtoputanendtomyobstinacy(theyweretiredoutwithme)andtohishopesatonce.AndanendshouldbeputonTuesdayorWednesdaynext,atfurthest;unlessIwouldgivemyhonourtocomplywiththeconditionuponwhichmyaunthadbeensogoodastoallowmealongertime.

Ievenstampedwithimpatience!--Icalleduponhertowitness,thatIwasguiltlessoftheconsequenceofthiscompulsion;thisbarbarouscompulsion,Icalledit;letthatconsequencebewhatitwould.

Myauntchidmeinahigherstrainthanevershedidbefore.

WhileI,inahalfphrensy,insisteduponseeingmyfather;suchusage,Isaid,setmeabovefear.Iwouldrejoicetoowemydeathtohim,asIdidmylife.

Ididgodownhalfwayofthestairs,resolvedtothrowmyselfathisfeetwhereverhewas.--Myauntwasfrighted.Sheowned,thatshefearedformyhead.--IndeedIwasinaperfectphrensyforafewminutes--buthearingmybrother'svoice,astalkingtosomebodyinmysister'sapartmentjustby,Istopt;andheardthebarbarousdesignersay,speakingtomysister,Thisworkscharmingly,mydearArabella!

Itdoes!Itdoes!saidshe,inanexultingaccent.

Letuskeepitup,saidmybrother.--Thevillainiscaughtinhisowntrap!--Nowmustshebewhatwewouldhaveherbe.

Doyoukeepmyfathertoit;I'lltakecareofmymother,saidBella.

Neverfear,saidhe!--andalaughofcongratulationtoeachother,andderisionofme(asImadeitout)quiteturnedmyfrantichumourintoavindictiveone.

Myauntthenjustcomingdowntome,andtakingmyhandledmeup;andtriedtosoothme.

Myravingwasturnedintosullenness.

Shepreachedpatienceandobediencetome.

Iwassilent.

Atlastshedesiredmetoassureher,thatIwouldoffernoviolencetomyself.

God,Isaid,hadgivenmemoregrace,Ihoped,thantopermitmetobeguiltyofsohorridarashness,Iwashiscreature,andnotmyown.

Shethentookleaveofme;andIinsisteduponhertakingdownwithher

theodiousparchments.

Seeingmeinsoillanhumour,andveryearnestthatsheshouldtakethemwithher,shetookthem;butsaid,thatmyfathershouldnotknowthatshedid:andhopedIwouldbetterconsiderofthematter,andbecalmernexttimetheywereofferedtomyperusal.

Irevolvedaftershewasgoneallthatmybrotherandsisterhadsaid.Idweltupontheirtriumphingsoverme;andfoundriseinmymindarancourthatwasnewtome;andwhichIcouldnotwithstand.--And



puttingeverythingtogether,dreadingthenearday,whatcouldIdo?--AmIinanymannerexcusableforwhatIdiddo?--IfIshallbecondemnedbytheworld,whoknownotmyprovocations,mayIbeacquittedbyyou?--Ifnot,Iamunhappyindeed!--forthisIdid.

HavingshakenofftheimpertinentBetty,IwrotetoMr.Lovelace,tolethimknow,'ThatallthatwasthreatenedatmyuncleAntony's,wasintendedtobeexecutedhere.ThatIhadcometoaresolutiontothrowmyselfupontheprotectionofeitherofhistwoaunts,whowouldafforditme--inshort,thatbyendeavouringtoobtainleaveonMondaytodineintheivysummer-house,Iwould,ifpossible,meethimwithoutthegarden-door,attwo,three,four,orfiveo'clockonMondayafternoon,asIshouldbeable.Thatinthemeantimeheshouldacquaintme,whetherImighthopeforeitherofthoseladies'protection:andifImight,Iabsolutelyinsistedthatheshouldleavemewitheither,andgotoLondonhimself,orremainatLordM.'s;noroffertovisitme,tillIweresatisfiedthatnothingcouldbedonewithmyfriendsinanamicableway;andthatIcouldnotobtainpossessionofmyownestate,andleavetoliveuponit:andparticularly,thatheshouldnothintmarriagetome,tillIconsentedtohearhimuponthatsubject.--Iadded,thatifhecouldprevailupononeoftheMissesMontaguetofavourmewithhercompanyontheroad,itwouldmakemeabundantlymoreeasyinthethoughtsofcarryingintoeffectaresolutionwhichIhadnotcometo,althoughsodriven,butwiththeutmostreluctanceandconcern;and

whichwouldthrowsuchasluruponmyreputationintheeyeoftheworld,asperhapsIshouldneverbeabletowipeoff.'

ThiswasthepurportofwhatIwrote;anddownintothegardenIslidwithitinthedark,whichatanothertimeIshouldnothavehadthecouragetodo;anddepositedit,andcameupagainunknowntoanybody.

MymindsodreadfullymisgavemewhenIreturned,that,todivertinsomemeasuremyincreasinguneasiness,Ihadrecoursetomyprivatepen;andinaveryshorttimeranthislength.

Andnow,thatIamcometothispart,myuneasyreflectionsbeginagaintopourinuponme.YetwhatcanIdo?--IbelieveIshalltakeitback

againthefirstthinginthemorning--YetwhatcanIdo?

Andwhoknowsbuttheymayhaveastillearlierdayintheirintention,thanthatwhichwilltoosooncome?

Ihopetodepositthisearlyinthemorningforyou,asIshallreturnfromresumingmyletter,ifIdoresumeitasmyinwardestmindbidsme.

Althoughitisnowneartwoo'clock,Ihaveagoodmindtoslidedownoncemore,inordertotakebackmyletter.Ourdoorsarealwayslockedandbarredupateleven;buttheseatsofthelesserhall-windowsbeingalmostevenwiththegroundwithout,andtheshuttersnotdifficulttoopen,Icouldeasilygetout.

YetwhyshouldIbethusuneasy,since,shouldthelettergo,IcanbuthearwhatMr.Lovelacesaystoit?Hisauntsliveattoogreatadistanceforhimtohaveanimmediateanswerfromthem;soIcanscruplegoingtothemtillIhaveinvitation.Icaninsistupononeofhiscousinsmeetingmeinthechariot;andmayhenotbeabletoobtainthatfavourfromeitherofthem.Twentythingsmayhappentoaffordmeasuspensionatleast:WhyshouldIbesoveryuneasy?--WhenlikewiseIcantakebackmyletterearly,beforeitisprobablehewillhavethethoughtoffindingitthere.Yetheownshespendsthreepartsofhis



*****

EIGHTO'CLOCK.

Theman,mydear,hasgottheletter!--Whatastrangediligence!Iwishhemeanmewell,thathetakessomuchpains!--Yet,tobeingenuous,Imustown,thatIshouldbedispleasedifhetookless--Iwish,however,hehadbeenanhundredmilesoff!--WhatanadvantagehaveIgivenhimoverme!

Nowtheletterisoutofmypower,IhavemoreuneasinessandregretthanIhadbefore.For,tillnow,Ihadadoubt,whetheritshouldorshouldnotgo:andnowIthinkitoughtnottohavegone.AndyetisthereanyotherwaythantodoasIhavedone,ifIwouldavoidSolmes?ButwhatagiddycreatureshallIbethought,ifIpursuethecoursetowhichthislettermustleadme?

Mydearestfriend,tellme,haveIdonewrong?--YetdonotsayIhave,ifyouthinkit;forshouldalltheworldbesidescondemnme,Ishallhavesomecomfort,ifyoudonot.ThefirsttimeIeverbesoughtyoutoflatterme.That,ofitself,isanindicationthatIhavedonewrong,andamafraidofhearingthetruth--Otellme(butyetdonottellme)

ifIhavedonewrong!

*****

FRIDAY,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

Myaunthasmademeanothervisit.ShebeganwhatshehadtosaywithlettingmeknowthatmyfriendsareallpersuadedthatIstillcorrespondwithMr.Lovelace;asisplain,shesaid,byhintsandmenaceshethrowsout,whichshewthatheisapprizedofseveralthingsthathavepassedbetweenmyrelationsandme,sometimeswithinavery

littlewhileaftertheyhavehappened.

AlthoughIapprovenotofthemethodhestoopstotaketocomeathisintelligence,yetitisnotprudentinmetoclearmyselfbytheruinofthecorruptedservant,(althoughhisvilenesshasneithermyconnivancenorapprobation,)sincemydoingsomightoccasionthedetectionofmyowncorrespondence;andsofrustrateallthehopesIhavetoavoidthisSolmes.Yetitisnotatalllikely,thatthisveryagentofMr.Lovelaceactsadoublepartbetweenmybrotherandhim:Howelsecanourfamilyknow(sosoontoo)hismenacesuponthepassagestheyhintat?

Iassuredmyaunt,thatIwastoomuchashamedofthetreatmentImetwith(andthatfromeveryone'ssakeaswellasformyown)toacquaint

Mr.Lovelacewiththeparticularsofthattreatment,evenwerethemeansofcorrespondingwithhimaffordedme:thatIhadreasontothink,thatifheweretoknowofitfromme,wemustbeuponsuchterms,thathewouldnotscruplemakingsomevisits,whichwouldgivemegreatapprehensions.Theyallknew,Isaid,thatIhadnocommunicationwithanyofmyfather'sservants,exceptmysister'sBettyBarnes:foralthoughIhadagoodopinionofthemall,andbelieved,iflefttotheirowninclinations,thattheywouldbegladtoserveme;yet,findingbytheirshybehaviour,thattheywereunderparticulardirection,Ihadforborn,eversincemyHannahhadbeensodisgracefully



dismissed,somuchastospeaktoanyofthem,forfearIshouldbetheoccasionoftheirlosingtheirplacestoo.Theymust,therefore,accountamongthemselvesfortheintelligenceMr.Lovelacemetwith,sinceneithermybrothernorsister,(asBettyhadfrequently,inpraiseoftheiropenhearts,informedme,)norperhapstheirfavouriteMr.Solmes,wereallcarefulbeforewhomtheyspoke,whentheyhadanythingtothrowoutagainsthim,orevenagainstme,whomtheytookgreatpridetojoinwithhimonthisoccasion.

Itwasbuttoonatural,myauntsaid,formyfriendstosupposethathehadhisintelligence(partofitatleast)fromme;who,thinkingyourselfhardlytreated,mightcomplainofit,ifnottohim,toMissHowe;which,perhaps,mightbethesamething;fortheyknewMissHowespokeasfreelyofthem,astheycoulddoofMr.Lovelace;andmusthavetheparticularsshespokeoffromsomebodywhoknewwhatwasdonehere.Thatthisdeterminedmyfathertobringthewholemattertoaspeedyissue,lestfatalconsequencesshouldensue.

Iperceiveyouaregoingtospeakwithwarmth,proceededshe:[andsoIwas]formyownpartIamsure,youwouldnotwriteanything,ifyoudowrite,toinflamesoviolentaspirit.--Butthisisnottheendofmypresentvisit.

Youcannot,mydear,butbeconvinced,thatyourfatherwillbeobeyed.

Themoreyoucontendagainsthiswill,themorehethinkshimselfobligedtoasserthisauthority.Yourmotherdesiresmetotellyou,thatifyouwillgivehertheleasthopesofadutifulcompliance,shewillbewillingtoseeyouinherclosetjustnow,whileyourfatherisgonetotakeawalkinthegarden.

Astonishingperseverance!saidI--Iamtiredwithmakingdeclarationsandwithpleadingsonthissubject;andhadhoped,thatmyresolutionbeingsowellknown,Ishouldnothavebeenfurtherurgeduponit.

Youmistakethepurportofmypresentvisit,Miss:[lookinggravely]--Heretoforeyouhavebeendesiredandprayedtoobeyandobligeyourfriends.Entreatyisatanend:theygiveitup.Nowitisresolved

upon,thatyourfather'swillistobeobeyed;asitisfititshould.Somethingsarelaidatyourdoor,asifyouconcurredwithLovelace'sthreatenedviolencetocarryyouoff,whichyourmotherwillnotbelieve.Shewilltellyouherowngoodopinionofyou.Shewilltellyouhowmuchshestilllovesyou;andwhatsheexpectsofyouontheapproachingoccasion.Butyet,thatshemaynotbeexposedtoanoppositionwhichwouldthemoreprovokeher,shedesiresthatyouwillfirstassureherthatyougodownwitharesolutiontodothatwithagracewhichmustbedonewithorwithoutagrace.Andbesides,shewantstogiveyousomeadvicehowtoproceedinordertoreconcileyourselftoyourfather,andtoeverybodyelse.Willyougodown,MissClary,orwillyounot?

Isaid,Ishouldthinkmyselfhappy,couldIbeadmittedtomymother'spresence,aftersolongabanishmentfromit;butthatIcouldnotwishituponthoseterms.

Andthisisyouranswer,Niece?

Itmustbemyanswer,Madam.Comewhatmay,IneverwillhaveMr.Solmes.Itiscrueltopressthismattersooftenuponme.--Ineverwillhavethatman.



Downshewentwithdispleasure.Icouldnothelpit.Iwasquitetiredwithsomanyattempts,alltothesamepurpose.Iamamazedthattheyarenot!--Solittlevariation!andnoconcessiononeitherside!

Iwillgodownanddepositthis;forBettyhasseenIhavebeenwriting.Thesaucycreaturetookanapkin,anddiptitinwater,andwithafleeringair,here,Miss;holdingthewetcornertome.

What'sthatfor?saidI.

Only,Miss,oneofthefingersofyourright-hand,ifyoupleasetolookatit.

Itwasinky.

Igaveheralook;butsaidnothing.

But,lestIshouldhaveanothersearch,Iwillclosehere.

CL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXLI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,ONEO'CLOCK.

IhavealetterfromMr.Lovelace,fulloftransports,vows,andpromises.Iwillsendittoyouenclosed.You'llseehow'heengagesinitforLadyBetty'sprotection,andforMissCharlotteMontague'saccompanyingme.Ihavenothingtodo,buttopersevere,hesays,andpreparetoreceivethepersonalcongratulationsofhiswholefamily.'

Butyou'llseehowhepresumesuponmybeinghis,astheconsequenceof

throwingmyselfintothatlady'sprotection.

'Thechariotandsixistobereadyattheplacehementions.You'llseeastothesluruponmyreputation,aboutwhichIamsoapprehensive,howboldlyheargues.'Generouslyenough,indeed,wereItobehis;andhadgivenhimtobelievethatIwould.--ButthatIhavenotdone.

Howonestepbringsonanotherwiththisencroachingsex;howsoonayoungcreature,whogivesamantheleastencouragement,becarriedbeyondherintentions,andoutofherownpower!Youwouldimagine,bywhathewrites,thatIhavegivenhimreasontothinkthatmyaversiontoMr.Solmesisallowingtomyfavourforhim.

Thedreadfulthingis,thatcomparingwhathewritesfromhisintelligencerofwhatisdesignedagainstme(thoughheseemsnottoknowthethreatenedday)withwhatmyauntandBettyassuremeof,therecanbenohopeforme,butthatImustbeSolmes'swife,ifIstayhere.

IhadbetterhavegonetomyuncleAntony'satthisrate.Ishouldhavegainedtime,atleast,byit.Thisisthefruitofhisfinecontrivances!

'Whatwearetodo,andhowgoodheistobe:howIamtodirectallhis



futuresteps.'Allthisshews,asIsaidbefore,thatheissureofme.

However,Ihaverepliedtothefollowingeffect:'ThatalthoughIhadgivenhimroomtoexpectthatIwouldputmyselfintotheprotectionofoneoftheladiesofhisfamily;yetasIhavethreedaystocome,betweenthisandMonday,andasIstillhopethatmyfriendswillrelent,orthatMr.Solmeswillgiveupapointtheywillfindimpossibletocarry;Ishallnotlookuponmyselfasabsolutelyboundbytheappointment:andexpecttherefore,ifIrecede,thatIshallnotagainbecalledtoaccountforitbyhim.ThatIthinkitnecessarytoacquainthim,thatifmythrowingmyselfuponLadyBettyLawrance'sprotection,asheproposed,heunderstands,thatImeandirectlytoputmyselfintohispower,heisverymuchmistaken:forthattherearemanypointinwhichImustbesatisfied;severalmatterstobeadjusted,evenafterIhaveleftthishouse,(ifIdoleaveit,)beforeIcanthinkofgivinghimanyparticularencouragement:thatinthefirstplacehemustexpectthatIwilldomyutmosttoprocuremyfather'sreconciliationandapprobationofmyfuturesteps;andthatIwillgovernmyselfentirelybyhiscommands,ineveryreasonablepoint,asmuchasifIhadnotlefthishouse:thatifheimaginesIshallnotreservetomyselfthisliberty,butthatmywithdrawingistogivehimanyadvantageswhichhewouldnototherwisehavehad;IamdeterminedtostaywhereIam,andabidetheevent,inhopesthatmyfriendswillstillacceptofmyreiteratedpromisenevertomarryhim,oranybodyelse,without

theirconsent.

ThisIwilldepositassoonasIcan.Andashethinksthingsareneartheircrisis,IdaresayitwillnotbelongbeforeIhaveananswertoit.

FRIDAY,FOURO'CLOCK.

Iamreallyill.Iwasusedtomakethebestofanylittleaccidentsthatbefelme,forfearofmakingmythenaffectionatefriendsuneasy:butnowIshallmaketheworstofmyindisposition,inhopestoobtainasuspensionofthethreatenedevilofWednesdaynext.AndifIdoobtain

it,willpostponemyappointmentwithMr.Lovelace.

BettyhastoldthemthatIamverymuchindisposed.ButIhavenopityfromanybody.

IbelieveIambecometheobjectofeveryone'saversion;andthattheywouldallbegladifIweredead.IndeedIbelieveit.'Whatailstheperversecreature?'criesone:--'Isshelove-sick?'another.

Iwasintheivysummer-house,andcameoutshiveringwithcold,asifaguishlyaffected.Bettyobservedthis,andreportedit.--'Onomatter!--Lethershiveron!--Coldcannothurther.Obstinacywilldefendherfromharm.Perversenessisabracertoalove-sickgirl,andmore

effectualthanthecoldbathtomakehardy,althoughtheconstitutionbeeversotender.'

Thiswassaidbyacruelbrother,andheardsaidbythedearerfriendsofone,forwhom,butafewmonthsago,everybodywasapprehensiveattheleastblastofwindtowhichsheexposedherself!

Betty,itmustbeowned,hasanadmirablememoryontheseoccasions.Nothingofthisnatureislostbyherrepetition:eventheveryairwithwhichsherepeatswhatshehearssaid,rendersitunnecessarytoask,



whospokethisorthatseverething.

FRIDAY,SIXO'CLOCK.

Myaunt,whoagainstaysallnight,justleftme.Shecametotellmetheresultofmyfriends'deliberationsaboutme.Itisthis:

NextWednesdaymorningtheyarealltobeassembled:towit,myfather,mother,myuncles,herself,andmyuncleHervey;mybrotherandsisterofcourse:mygoodMrs.Nortonislikewisetobeadmitted:andDr.Lewenistobeathand,toexhortme,itseems,iftherebeoccasion:butmyauntisnotcertainwhetherheistobeamongthem,ortotarrytillcalledin.

Whenthisawfulcourtisassembled,thepoorprisoneristobebroughtin,supportedbyMrs.Norton;whoistobefirsttutoredtoinstructmeinthedutyofachild;whichitseemsIhaveforgotten.

Noristhesuccessatalldoubted,myauntsays:sinceitisnotbelievedthatIcanbehardenedenoughtowithstandtheexpostulationsofsovenerableajudicature,althoughIhavewithstoodthoseofseveralofthemseparately.Andstilltheless,asshehintsatextraordinarycondescensionsfrommyfather.Butwhatcondescensions,evenfrommy

father,caninducemetomakesuchasacrificeasisexpectedfromme?

Yetmyspiritswillneverbearup,Idoubt,atsuchatribunal--myfatherpresidinginit.

IndeedIexpectedthatmytrialswouldnotbeatanendtillhehadadmittedmeintohisawfulpresence.

Whatishopedfromme,shesays,is,thatIwillcheerfully,onTuesdaynight,ifnotbefore,signthearticles;andsoturnthesucceedingday'ssolemnconventionintoadayoffestivity.Iamtohavethelicensesentmeup,however,andoncemorethesettlements,thatImayseehowmuchinearnesttheyare.

Shefurtherhinted,thatmyfatherhimselfwouldbringupthesettlementsformetosign.

Omydear!whatatrialwillthisbe!--HowshallIbeabletorefusemyfatherthewritingofmyname?--Tomyfather,fromwhosepresenceIhavebeensolongbanished!--Hecommandingandentreating,perhaps,inabreath!--HowshallIbeabletorefusethistomyfather?

Theyaresure,shesays,somethingisworkingonMr.Lovelace'spart,andperhapsonmine:andmyfatherwouldsoonerfollowtothegrave,thanseemehiswife.

Isaid,Iwasnotwell:thattheveryapprehensionsofthesetrialswerealreadyinsupportabletome;andwouldincreaseuponme,asthetimeapproached;andIwasafraidIshouldbeextremelyill.

Theyhadpreparedthemselvesforsuchanartificeasthat,wasmyaunt'sunkindword;andshecouldassureme,itwouldstandmeinnostead.

Artifice!repeatedI:andthisfrommyauntHervey?

Why,mydear,saidshe,doyouthinkpeoplearefools?--Cantheynotsee



howdismallyyouendeavourtosighyourselfdownwithin-doors?--Howyouhangdownyoursweetface[thosewerethewordsshewaspleasedtouse]uponyourbosom?--Howyoutotter,asitwere,andholdbythischair,andbythatdoorpost,whenyouknowthatanybodyseesyou?[This,mydearMissHowe,isanaspersiontofastenhypocrisyandcontemptuponme:mybrother'sorsister'saspersion!--Iamnotcapableofartssolow.]Butthemomentyouaredownwithyourpoultry,oradvancinguponyourgarden-walk,and,asyouimagine,outofeverybody'ssight,itisseemhownimblyyoutripalong;andwhatanalertnessgovernsallyourmotions.

Ishouldhatemyself,saidI,wereIcapableofsuchpoorartificesasthese.Imustbeafooltousethem,aswellasameancreature;forhaveInothadexperienceenough,thatmyfriendsareincapableofbeingmovedinmuchmoreaffectinginstances?--Butyou'llseehowIshallbebyTuesday.

Mydear,youwillnotofferanyviolencetoyourhealth?--Ihope,Godhasgivenyoumoregracethantodothat.

Ihopehehas,Madam.Butthereisviolenceenoughoffered,andthreatened,toaffectmyhealth;andsoitwillbefound,withoutmyneedingtohaverecoursetoanyother,ortoartificeeither.

I'llonlytellyouonething,mydear:andthatis,illorwell,theceremonywillprobablybeperformedbeforeWednesdaynight:--butthis,also,Iwilltellyou,althoughbeyondmypresentcommission,ThatMr.Solmeswillbeunderanengagement(ifyoushouldrequireitofhimasafavour)aftertheceremonyispassed,andLovelace'shopestherebyutterlyextinguished,toleaveyouatyourfather's,andreturntohisownhouseeveryevening,untilyouarebroughttoafullsenseofyourduty,andconsenttoacknowledgeyourchangeofname.

Therewasnoopeningofmylipstosuchaspeechasthis.Iwasdumb.

Andthese,mydearMissHowe,aretheywho,someofthematleast,have

calledmearomanticgirl!--Thisismychimericalbrother,andwisesister;bothjoiningtheirheadstogether,Idaresay.Andyet,myaunttoldme,thatthelastpartwaswhattookinmymother:whohad,tillthatlastexpedientwasfoundout,insisted,thatherchildshouldnotbemarried,if,throughgrieforopposition,sheshouldbeill,orfallintofits.

Thisintendedviolencemyauntoftenexcused,bythecertaininformationtheypretendedtohave,ofsomeplotsormachinations,thatwerereadytobreakout,fromMr.Lovelace:*theeffectsofwhichwerethuscunninglytobefrustrated.

*Itmaynotbeamisstoobserveinthisplace,thatMr.Lovelaceartfullycontrivedtodrivethefamilyon,bypermittinghisandtheiragentLemantoreportmachinations,whichhehadneitherintentionnorpowertoexecute.

FRIDAY,NINEO'CLOCK.

Andnow,mydear,whatshallIconcludeupon?Youseehowdetermined--ButhowcanIexpectyouradvicewillcometimeenough



tostandmeinanystead?ForhereIhavebeendown,andalreadyhaveanotherletterfromMr.Lovelace[themanlivesuponthespot,Ithink:]andImustwritetohim,eitherthatIwillorwillnotstandtomyfirstresolutionofescapinghenceonMondaynext.IfIlethimknowthatIwillnot,(appearancessostrongagainsthimandforSolmes,evenstrongerthanwhenImadetheappointment,)willitnotbejustlydeemedmyownfault,ifIamcompelledtomarrytheirodiousman?AndifanymischiefensuefromMr.Lovelace'srageanddisappointment,willitnotlieatmydoor?--Yet,heofferssofair!--Yet,ontheotherhand,toincurthecensureoftheworld,asagiddycreature--butthat,ashehints,Ihavealreadyincurred--WhatcanIdo?--Oh!thatmycousinMorden--Butwhatsignifieswishing?

IwillheregiveyouthesubstanceofMr.Lovelace'sletter.TheletteritselfIwillsend,whenIhaveansweredit;butthatIwilldeferdoingaslongasIcan,inhopesoffindingreasontoretractanappointmentonwhichsomuchdepends.AndyetitisnecessaryyoushouldhaveallbeforeyouasIgoalong,thatyoumaybethebetterabletoadvisemeinthisdreadfulcrisis.

'Hebegsmypardonforwritingwithsomuchassurance;attributingittohisunboundedtransport;andentirelyacquiescestomeinmywill.Heisfullofalternativesandproposals.HeofferstoattendmedirectlytoLadyBetty's;or,ifIhadrather,tomyownestate;andthatmyLord

M.shallprotectmethere.'[Heknowsnot,mydear,myreasonsforrejectingthisinconsiderateadvice.]'Ineithercase,assoonasheseesmesafe,hewillgouptoLondon,orwhitherIplease;andnotcomenearme,butbymyownpermission;andtillIamsatisfiedineverythingIamdoubtfulof,aswellwithregardtohisreformation,astosettlements,&c.

'Toconductmetoyou,mydear,isanotherofhisproposals,notdoubting,hesays,butyourmotherwillreceiveme:*or,ifthatbenotagreeabletoyou,ortoyourmother,ortome,hewillputmeintoMr.Hickman'sprotection;whom,nodoubthesays,youcaninfluence;andthatitmaybegivenout,thatIhavegonetoBath,orBristol,orabroad;whereverIplease.

*SeeNoteinLetterV.ofthisVolume.

'Again,ifitbemoreagreeable,heproposestoattendmeprivatelytoLondon,wherehewillprocurehandsomelodgingsforme,andbothhiscousinsMontaguetoreceivemeinthem,andtoaccompanymetillallshallbeadjustedtomymind;andtillareconciliationshallbeeffected;whichheassuresmenothingshallbewantinginhimtofacilitate,greatlyashehasbeeninsultedbyallmyfamily.

'Theseseveralmeasuresheproposestomychoice;asitwasunlikely,

hesays,thathecouldprocure,inthetime,aletterfromLadyBetty,underherownhand,toinvitemeinformtoherhouse,unlesshehadbeenhimselftogotothatladyforit;which,atthiscriticaljuncture,whileheisattendingmycommands,isimpossible.

'Heconjuresme,inthemostsolemnmanner,ifIwouldnotthrowhimintoutterdespair,tokeeptomyappointment.

'However,insteadofthreateningmyrelations,orSolmes,ifIrecede,herespectfullysays,thathedoubtsnot,butthat,ifIdo,itwillbe



herself,orsufferyouorMr.Hickmantobeembroiled,onmyaccount:andastohisproposalofmygoingtoLondon,Iamsuchanabsolutestrangertoeverybodythere,andhavesuchabadopinionoftheplace,thatIcannotbyanymeansthinkofgoingthither;exceptIshouldbeinduced,sometimehence,bytheladiesofhisfamilytoattendthem.

'Astothemeetingheisdesirousof,Ithinkitbynomeansproper;especiallyasitissolikelythatImaysoonseehim.Butthatifanythingoccurstoinducemetochangemymind,astowithdrawing,Iwillthentakethefirstopportunitytoseehim,andgivehimmyreasonsforthatchange.

This,mydear,Ithelessscrupledtowrite,asitmightqualifyhimtobearsuchadisappointment,shouldIgiveithim;hehaving,besides,behavedsoveryunexceptionablywhenhesurprisedmesometimeagointhelonelywood-house.

Finally,'Icommendmyself,asapersonindistress,andmerelyassuch,tohishonour,andtotheprotectionoftheladiesofhisfamily.Irepeat[mostcordially,Iamsure!]mydeepconcernforbeingforcedtotakeastepsodisagreeable,andsoderogatorytomyhonour.Andhavingtoldhim,thatIwillendeavourtoobtainleavetodineintheIvySummer-house,*andtosendBettyofsomeerrand,whenthere,Ileavetheresttohim;butimagine,thataboutfouro'clockwillbeapropertime

forhimtocontrivesomesignaltoletmeknowheisathand,andformetounboltthegarden-door.'

*TheIvySummer-house(orIvyBower,asitwassometimescalledinthefamily)wasaplace,thatfromagirl,thisyoungladydelightedin.Sheused,inthesummermonths,frequentlytositandwork,andread,andwrite,anddraw,and(whenpermitted)tobreakfast,anddine,andsometimestosup,init;especiallywhenMissHowe,whohadanequallikingtoit,washervisiterandguest.

Shedescribesit,inanotherletter(whichappearsnot)as'pointingto

aprettyvariegatedlandscapeofwood,water,andhillycountry;whichhadpleasedhersomuch,thatshehaddrawnit;thepiecehangingup,inherparlous,amongsomeofherotherdrawings.'

Iadded,bywayofpostscript,'Thattheirsuspicionsseemingtoincrease,Iadvisehimtocontrivetosendorsometotheusualplace,asfrequentlyaspossible,intheintervaloftimetillMondaymorningtenoreleveno'clock;assomethingmaypossiblyhappentomakemealtermymind.'

OmydearMissHowe!--whatasad,sadthingisthenecessity,forceduponme,forallthispreparationandcontrivance!--Butitisnowtoo

late!--Buthow!--Toolate,didIsay?--Whatawordisthat!--Whatadreadfulthing,wereItorepent,tofindittobetoolatetoremedytheapprehendedevil!

SATURDAY,TENO'CLOCK.

Mr.Solmesishere.Heistodinewithhisnewrelations,asBettytellsmehealreadycallsthem.



Hewouldhavethrownhimselfinmywayoncemore:butIhurrieduptomyprison,inmyreturnfrommygarden-walk,toavoidhim.

Ihad,wheninthegarden,thecuriositytoseeifmyletterweregone:Icannotsaywithanintentiontotakeitbackagainifitwerenot,becauseIseenothowIcoulddootherwisethanIhavedone;yet,whatacaprice!whenIfounditgone,Ibegan(asyesterdaymorning)towishithadnot:fornootherreason,Ibelieve,thanbecauseitwasoutofmypower.

Astrangediligenceinthisman!--Hesays,healmostlivesupontheplace;andIthinksotoo.

Hementions,asyouwillseeinhisletter,fourseveraldisguises,whichheputsoninoneday.Itisawonder,nevertheless,thathehasnotbeenseenbysomeofourtenants:foritisimpossiblethatanydisguisecanhidethegracefulnessofhisfigure.Butthisistobesaid,thattheadjoininggroundsbeingallinourownhands,andnocommonfoot-pathsnearthatpartofthegarden,andthroughtheparkandcoppice,nothingcanbemorebyeandunfrequented.

Thentheyarelesswatchful,Ibelieve,overmygarden-walks,andmypoultry-visits,depending,asmyaunthinted,uponthebadcharactertheyhavetakensomuchpainstofastenuponMr.Lovelace.This,they

think,(andjustlythink,)mustfillmewithdoubts.AndthentheregardIhavehithertohadformyreputationisanotheroftheirsecurities.Wereitnotforthesetwo,theywouldnotsurelyhaveusedmeastheyhavedone;andatthesametimeleftmetheopportunitieswhichIhaveseveraltimeshad,togetaway,hadIbeendisposedtodoso:*and,indeed,theirdependenceonboththesemotiveswouldhavebeenwellfounded,hadtheykeptbuttolerablemeasureswithme.

*Theymight,nodoubt,makeadependenceuponthereasonsshegives:buttheirchiefreliancewasuponthevigilanceoftheirJosephLeman;littleimaginingwhatanimplementhewasofMr.Lovelace.

Then,perhaps,theyhavenonotionoftheback-door;asitisseldomopened,andleadstoaplacesopathlessandlonesome.*Ifnot,therecanbenootherwaytoescape(ifonewould)unlessbytheplashylane,sofullofsprings,bywhichyourservantreachesthesolitarywoodhouse;towhichlaneonemustdescendfromahighbank,thatboundsthepoultryyard.For,astothefront-way,youknow,onemustpassthroughthehousetothat,andinsightoftheparlours,andtheservants'hall;andthenhavetheopencourtyardtogothrough,and,bymeansoftheiron-gate,befullinview,asonepassesoverthelawn,foraquarterofamiletogether;theyoungplantationsofelmsandlimesaffordingyetbutlittleshadeorcovert.

*This,inanotherofherletters,(whichneitherisinserted,)isthusdescribed:--'Apieceofruinsuponit,theremainsofanoldchapel,nowstandinginthemidstofthecoppice;hereandthereanover-grownoak,surroundedwithivyandmistletoe,startingup,tosanctify,asitwere,theawfulsolemnnessoftheplace:aspot,too,whereamanhavingbeenfoundhangingsomeyearsago,itwasusedtobethoughtofbyuswhenchildren,andbythemaid-



lodgingswemighthavetaken.

IwishtotheLordyouhadpermittedthis.IndeedIthinkyouaretoopunctiliousagreatdealforyousituation.Wouldyouexpecttoenjoyyourselfwithyourusualplacidness,andnottoberuffled,inanhurricanewhicheverymomentthreatenstoblowyourhousedown?

Hadyourdistresssprungfromyourself,thatwouldhavebeenanotherthing.Butwhenalltheworldknowswheretolaythefault,thisaltersthecase.

HowcanyousayIamhappy,whenmymother,toherpower,isasmuchanabettoroftheirwickednesstomydearestfriend,asyouraunt,oranybodyelse?--andthisthroughtheinstigationofthatodd-headedandfoolishuncleofyours,who[sorrycreaturethatheis!]keepsheruptoresolutionswhichareunworthyofher,foranexampletome,ifitpleaseyou.Isnotthiscauseenoughformetogroundaresentmentupon,sufficienttojustifymeforaccompanyingyou;thefriendshipbetweenussowellknown?

Indeed,mydear,theimportanceofthecaseconsidered,Imustrepeat,thatyouaretoonice.Don'ttheyalreadythinkthatyournon-compliancewiththeirodiousmeasuresisowingagooddealtomyadvice?Havetheynotprohibitedourcorrespondenceuponthatverysurmise?AndhaveI,

butonyouraccount,reasontovaluewhattheythink?

Besides,WhatdiscredithaveItofearbysuchastep?Whatdetriment?WouldHickman,doyoubelieve,refusemeuponit?--Ifhedid,shouldIbesorryforthat?--Whoisit,thathasasoul,whowouldnotbeaffectedbysuchaninstanceoffemalefriendship?

ButIshouldvexanddisordermymother!--Well,thatissomething:butnotmorethanshevexesanddisordersme,onherbeingmadeanimplementbysuchasorrycreature,whoambleshithereverydayinspitetomydearestfriend--Woebetoboth,ifitbeforadoubleend!--Chideme,ifyouwill:Idon'tcare.

Isay,andIinsistuponit,suchastepwouldennobleyourfriend:andifstillyouwillpermitit,IwilltaketheofficeoutofLovelace'shands;and,to-morrowevening,oronMondaybeforehistimeofappointmenttakesplace,willcomeinachariot,orchaise:andthen,mydear,ifwegetoffasIwish,willwemaketerms(andwhattermsweplease)withthemall.Mymotherwillbegladtoreceiveherdaughteragain,Iwarrant:andHickmanwillcryforjoyonmyreturn;orheshallforsorrow.

Butyouaresoveryearnestlyangrywithmeforproposingsuchastep,andhavealwayssomuchtosayforyoursideofanyquestion,thatIamafraidtourgeitfarther.--Onlybesogood(letmeadd)astoencouragemetoresumeit,if,uponfartherconsideration,anduponweighing

matterswell,(andinthislight,whetherbesttogooffwithme,orwithLovelace,)youcangetoveryourpunctiliousregardformyreputation.Awomangoingawaywithawomanisnotsodiscreditableathing,surely!andwithnoview,buttoavoidthefellows!--Isay,onlytobesogood,astoconsiderthispoint;andifyoucangetoveryourscruplesonmyaccount,do.AndsoIwillhavedonewiththisargumentforthepresent;andapplymyselftosomeofthepassagesinyours.

Atime,Ihope,willcome,thatIshallbeabletoreadyouraffectingnarrativeswithouttheimpatientbitternesswhichnowboilsoverinmy



pretensions.ThathislordshipalsoproposedtogivehimupeitherhisseatinHertfordshire,orthatinLancashire,athisownorathiswife'soption,especiallyifIamtheperson.Allwhichitwillbeinmypowertoseedone,andpropersettlementsdrawn,beforeIenterintoanyfartherengagementswithhim;ifIwillhaveitso.'

Hesays,'ThatIneednotbeunderanysolicitudeastoapparel:allimmediateoccasionsofthatsortwillbemostcheerfullysuppliedbytheladiesofhisfamily:asmyothersshall,withthegreatestprideandpleasure(ifIallowhimthathonour)byhimself.

'Heassuresme,thatIshallgovernhimasIplease,withregardtoanythinginhispowertowardseffectingareconciliationwithmyfriends:'apointheknowsmyheartissetupon.

'Heisafraid,thatthetimewillhardlyallowofhisprocuringMissCharlotteMontague'sattendanceuponme,atSt.Alban's,ashehadproposedsheshould;because,heunderstands,shekeepsherchamberwithaviolentcoldandsorethroat.Butbothsheandhersister,thefirstmomentsheisabletogoabroad,shallvisitmeatmyprivatelodgings;andintroducemetoLadySarahandLadyBetty,orthoseladiestome,asIshallchoose;andaccompanymetotown,ifIplease;andstayaslonginitwithmeasIshallthinkfittostaythere.

'LordM.willalso,atmyowntime,andinmyownmanner,(thatistosay,eitherpubliclyorprivately,)makemeavisit.And,forhisownpart,whenhehasseenmeinsafety,eitherintheirprotection,orintheprivacyIprefer,hewillleaveme,andnotattempttovisitmebutbymyownpermission.

'Hehadthoughtonce,hesays,onhearingofhiscousinCharlotte'sindisposition,tohaveengagedhiscousinPatty'sattendanceuponme,eitherinorabouttheneighbouringvillage,oratSt.Alban's:but,hesays,sheisalow-spirited,timorousgirl,andwouldbutthemorehaveperplexedus.'

So,mydear,theenterpriserequirescourageandhighspirits,you

see!--Andindeeditdoes!--WhatamIabouttodo!

Hehimself,itisplain,thinksitnecessarythatIshouldbeaccompaniedwithoneofmyownsex.--Hemight,atleast,haveproposedthewomanofoneoftheladiesofhisfamily.--Lordblessme!--WhatamIabouttodo!--

*****

Afterall,asfarasIhavegone,IknownotbutImaystillrecede:and,ifIdo,amortalquarrelIsupposewillensue.--Andwhatifit

does?--CouldtherebeanywaytoescapethisSolmes,abreachwithLovelacemightmakewayforthesinglelifetotakeplace,whichIsomuchprefer:andthenIwoulddefythesex.ForIseenothingbuttroubleandvexationthattheybringuponours:andwhenonceentered,oneisobligedtogoonwiththem,treading,withtenderfeet,uponthorns,andsharperthorns,totheendofapainfuljourney.

WhattodoIknownot.ThemoreIthink,themoreIamembarrassed!--Andthestrongerwillbemydoubtsastheappointedtimedrawsnear.



ButIwillgodown,andtakealittleturninthegarden;anddepositthis,andhislettersallbutthetwolast,whichIwillencloseinmynext,ifIhaveopportunitytowriteanother.

Meantime,mydearfriend----ButwhatcanIdesireyoutoprayfor?--Adieu,then!--Letmeonlysay--Adieu--!

LETTERXLV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE.[INANSWERTOLETTERXLIII.]SUNDAYMORNING,APRIL9.

Donotthink,mybelovedfriend,althoughyouhavegivenmeinyoursofyesterdayasevererinstanceofwhat,nevertheless,Imustcalyourimpartiallove,thaneveryetIreceivedfromyou,thatIwouldbedispleasedwithyouforit.Thatwouldbetoputmyselfintotheinconvenientsituationofroyalty:thatistosay,outofthewayofeverbeingtoldofmyfaults;ofevermendingthem:andinthewayofmakingthesincerestandwarmestfriendshipuselesstome.

Andthenhowbrightly,hownoblyglowsinyourbosomthesacredflameoffriendship;sinceitcanmakeyoureadytoimputetotheunhappysuffereralessdegreeofwarmthinherowncause,thanyouhaveforher,becauseoftheendeavourstodivestherselfofselfsofarastoleaveotherstotheoptionwhichtheyhavearighttomake!--OughtI,mydear,toblame,oughtInotrathertoadmireyouforthisardor?

Butnevertheless,lestyoushouldthinkthatthereisanyfoundationforasurmisewhich(althoughitoweitsrisetoyourfriendship)would,iftherewere,leavemeutterlyinexcusable,Imust,injusticetomyself,declare,thatIknownotmyownheartifIhaveanyofthatlatentorunownedinclination,whichyouwouldimputetoanyotherbutme.Nordoestheimportantalternativesitlightlyonmymind.AndyetImust

excuseyourmother,wereitbutonthissingleconsideration,thatIcouldnotpresumetoreckonuponherfavour,asIcoulduponherdaughter's,soastomaketheclaimoffriendshipuponher,towhom,asthemotherofmydearestfriend,avenerationisowing,whichcanhardlybecompatiblewiththatsweetfamiliaritywhichisoneoftheindispensablerequisitesofthesacredtiebywhichyourheartandmineareboundinone.

WhatthereforeImightexpectfrommyAnnaHowe,Ioughtnotfromhermother;forwoulditnotbeverystrange,thatapersonofherexperienceshouldbereflecteduponbecauseshegavenotupherownjudgment,wheretheconsequenceofherdoingsowouldbetoembroilherself,assheapprehends,withafamilyshehaslivedwellwith,

andinbehalfofachildagainstherparents?--asshehasmoreoveradaughterofherown:--adaughtertoo,givemeleavetosay,ofwhosevivacityandcharmingspiritssheismoreapprehensivethansheneedtobe,becausehertrulymaternalcaresmakeherfearmorefromheryouth,thanshehopesforherprudence;which,nevertheless,sheandalltheworldknowtobebeyondheryears.

Andhereletmeadd,thatwhateveryoumaygenerously,andastheresultofanardentaffectionforyourunhappyfriend,urgeonthishead,inmybehalf,orharshlyagainstanyonewhomayrefusemeprotectioninthe



extraordinarycircumstancesIfindmyselfin,Ihavesomepleasureinbeingabletocurbundueexpectationsuponmyindulgentfriends,whateverweretobefalmyselffromthosecircumstances,forIshouldbeextremelymortified,wereIbymyselfishforwardnesstogiveoccasionforsuchacheck,astobetold,thatIhadencouragedanunreasonablehope,or,accordingtothephraseyoumention,wishedtotakeathornoutofmyownfoot,andtoputintothatofmyfriend.NorshouldIbebetterpleasedwithmyself,if,havingbeentaughtbymygoodMrs.Norton,thatthebestofschoolsisthatofaffliction,Ishouldratherlearnimpatiencethanthecontrary,bythelessonsIamobligedtogetbyheartinit;andifIshouldjudgeofthemeritsofothers,astheywerekindtome;andthatattheexpenseoftheirownconvenienceorpeaceofmind.Forisnotthistosupposemyselfeverintheright;andallwhodonotactasIwouldhavethemact,perpetuallyinthewrong?Inshort,tomakemysakeGod'ssake,inthesenseofMr.Solmes'spitifulpleatome?

Howoften,mydear,haveyouandIendeavouredtodetectandcensurethispartialspiritinothers?

ButIknowyoudonotalwayscontentyourselfwithsayingwhatyouthinkmayjustlybesaid;but,inordertheshewtheextentofapenetrationwhichcangotothebottomofanysubject,delighttosayortowriteallthatcanbesaidorwritten,oreventhought,ontheparticular

occasion;andthispartlyperhapsfrombeingdesirous[pardonme,mydear!]tobethoughtmistressofasagacitythatisaforehandwithevents.Butwhowouldwishtodrainoffordryuparefreshingcurrent,becauseitnow-and-thenputsustosomelittleinconveniencebyitsover-flowings?Inotherwords,whowouldnotallowforthelivelinessofaspiritwhichforonepainfulsensibilitygivesanhundredpleasurableones;andtheoneinconsequenceoftheother?

ButnowIcometothetwopointsinyourletter,whichmostsensiblyconcernme:Thusyouputthem:

'WhetherIchoosenotrathertogooff[shockingwords!]withoneofmyownsex;withmyANNAHOWE--thanwithoneoftheother;withMr.

LOVELACE?'

Andifnot,

'WhetherIshouldnotmarryhimassoonaspossible?'

Youknow,mydear,myreasonsforrejectingyourproposal,andevenforbeingearnestthatyoushouldnotbeknowntobeassistingmeinanenterpriseinwhichacruelnecessityinducedmetothinkofengaging;andforwhichyouhavenotthesameplea.Atthisrate,wellmightyourmotherbeuneasyatourcorrespondence,notknowingtowhatinconvenienciesitmightsubjectherandyou!--IfIamhardlyexcusabletothinkofwithdrawingfrommyunkindfriends,whatcouldyouhaveto

sayforyourself,wereyoutoabandonamothersoindulgent?Doesshesuspectthatyourferventfriendshipmayleadyoutoasmallindiscretion?anddoesthissuspicionoffendyou?Andwouldyou,inresentment,shewherandtheworld,thatyoucanvoluntarilyrushintothehighesterrorthatanyofoursexcanbeguiltyof?

Andisitworthyofyourgenerosity[Iaskyou,mydear,isit?]tothinkoftakingsoundutifulastep,becauseyoubelieveyourmotherwouldbegladtoreceiveyouagain?



Idoassureyou,thatwereItotakethisstepmyself,Iwouldrunallrisksratherthanyoushouldaccompanymeinit.HaveI,doyouthink,adesiretodoubleandtreblemyownfaultintheeyeoftheworld?intheeyeofthatworldwhich,cruellyasIamused,(notknowingall,)wouldnotacquitme?

But,mydearest,kindestfriend,letmetellyou,thatwewillneitherofustakesuchastep.Themannerofputtingyourquestionsabundantlyconvincesme,thatIoughtnot,inyouropinion,toattemptit.YounodoubtintendthatIshallsotakeit;andIthankyoufortheequallypoliteandforcibleconviction.

Itissomesatisfactiontome(takingthematterinthislight)thatIhadbeguntowaverbeforeIreceivedyourlast.AndnowItellyou,thatithasabsolutelydeterminedmenottogooff;atleastnotto-morrow.

Ifyou,mydear,thinktheissueofthealternative(touseyourownwords)sitssolightlyuponmymind,inshort,thatmyinclinationisfaulty;theworldwouldtreatmemuchlessscrupulously.Whenthereforeyourepresent,thatallpunctiliomustbeatanendthemomentIamoutofmyfather'shouse;andhint,thatImustsubmitittoMr.Lovelacetojudgewhenhecanleavemewithsafety;thatistosay,givehimtheoptionwhetherhewillleaveme,ornot;whocanbearthesereflections,whocanresolvetoincurtheseinconveniencies,thathasthequestion

stillinherownpowertodecideupon?

WhileIthoughtonlyofanescapefromthishouseasanescapefromMr.Solmes;thatalreadymyreputationsufferedbymyconfinement;andthatitwouldbeinmyownoptioneithertomarryMr.Lovelace,orwhollytorenouncehim;boldasthestepwas,Ithought,treatedasIamtreated,somethingwastobesaidinexcuseofit--ifnottotheworld,tomyself:andtobeself-acquitted,isablessingtobepreferredtotheoptionofalltheworld.But,afterIhavecensuredmostseverely,asIhaveeverdone,thosegiddygirls,whohaveinthesamehour,asImaysay,thattheyhavefledfromtheirchamber,presentedthemselvesatthealtarthatiswitnesstotheirundutifulrashness;afterIhavestipulatedwithMr.Lovelacefortime,andforanultimateoption

whethertoacceptorrefusehim;andforhisleavingme,assoonasIaminaplaceofsafety(which,asyouobserve,hemustbethejudgeof);andafterhehassignifiedtomehicompliancewiththeseterms;sothatIcannot,ifIwould,recallthem,andsuddenlymarry;--yousee,mydear,thatIhavenothingleftmebuttoresolvenottogoawaywithhim!

But,how,onthisrevocationofmyappointment,shallIbeabletopacifyhim?

How!--Whyasserttheprivilegeofmysex!--Surely,onthissideofthesolemnityhehasnorighttobedispleased.Besides,didInotreserveapowerofreceding,asIsawfit?Towhatpurpose,asIaskedinthecase

betweenyourmotherandyou,hasanybodyanoption,ifthemakinguseofitshallgivetherefusedarighttobedisgusted?

Far,veryfar,wouldthose,who,accordingtotheoldlaw,havearightofabsolvingorconfirmingachild'spromise,befromratifyingmine,haditbeeneversosolemnaone.*Butthiswasratheranappointmentthanapromise:andsupposeithadbeenthelatter;andthatIhadnotreservedtomyselfalibertyofrevokingit;wasittoprecludebetterormaturerconsideration?--Ifso,howunfittobegiven!--howungeneroustobeinsistedupon!--Andhowunfitterstilltobekept!--Isthereaman



livingwhooughttobeangrythatawomanwhomhehopesonedaytocallhis,shallrefusetokeeparashpromise,when,onthematurestdeliberation,sheisconvincedthatitwasarashone?

*SeeNumb.XXX.Whereitisdeclared,whosevowsshallbebinding,andwhosenot.Thevowsofaman,orofawidow,aretherepronouncedtobeindispensable;becausetheyaresole,andsubjecttonootherdomesticauthority.Butthevowsofasinglewoman,orofawife,ifthefatheroftheone,orthehusbandoftheother,disallowofthemassoonastheyknowthem,aretobeofnoforce.

Amatterhighlynecessarytobeknown;byallyoungladiesespecially,whosedesigningaddresserstoooftenendeavourtoengagethembyvows;andthenpleadconscienceandhonourtothemtoholdthemdowntotheperformance.

Itcannotbeamisstorecitetheverywords.

Ver.3IfawomanvowavowuntotheLord,andbindherselfbyabond,beinginherfather'shouseinheryouth;

4.Andherfatherhearhervow,andherbondwherewithshe

hathboundhersoul,andherfathershallholdhispeaceather;thenallhervowsshallstand,andeverybondwherewithshehathboundhersoulshallstand.

5.Butifherfatherdisallowherinthedaythatheheareth;notanyofhervowsorofherbondswherewithshehathboundhersoulshallstand:andtheLordshallforgiveher,becauseherfatherdisallowedher.

Thesameinthecaseofawife,assaidabove.Seever.6,7,8,&c.--Allisthussolemnlyclosed:

Ver.16.ThesearethestatuteswhichtheLordcommanded

Mosesbetweenamanandhiswife,betweenthefatherandhisdaughter,beingyetinheryouthinherfather'shouse.

Iresolvethen,uponthewhole,tostandthisonetrialofWednesdaynext--or,perhaps,Ishouldrathersay,ofTuesdayevening,ifmyfatherholdhispurposeofendeavouring,inperson,tomakemeread,orhearread,andthensign,thesettlements.--That,thatmustbethegreatesttrialofall.

IfIamcompelledtosignthemover-night--then(theLordblessme!)mustallIdreadfollow,asofcourse,onWednesday.IfIcanprevailuponthembymyprayers[perhapsIshallfallintofits;forthevery

firstappearanceofmyfather,afterhavingbeensolongbanishedhispresence,willgreatlyaffectme--if,Isay,Icanprevailuponthembymyprayers]tolayasidetheirviews;ortosuspendtheday,ifbutforoneweek;butifnot,butfortwoorthreedays;stillWednesdaywillbealighterdayoftrial.Theywillsurelygivemetimetoconsider:toarguewithmyself.Thiswillnotbepromising.AsIhavemadenoefforttogetaway,theyhavenoreasontosuspectme;soImayhaveanopportunity,inthelastresort,towithdraw.Mrs.Nortonistobewithme:she,althoughsheshouldbechiddenforit,will,inmyextremity,pleadforme.MyauntHerveymay,insuchanextremity,joinwithher.



Perhapsmymothermaybebroughtover.Iwillkneeltoeach,onebyone,tomakeafriend.Someofthemhavebeenafraidtoseeme,lesttheyshouldbemovedinmyfavour:doesnotthisgiveareasonablehopethatImaymovethem?Mybrother'scounsel,heretoforegiven,toturnmeoutofdoorstomyevildestiny,mayagainberepeated,andmayprevail;thenshallIbeinnoworsecasethannow,astothedispleasureofmyfriends;andthusfarbetter,thatitwillnotbemyfaultthatIseekanotherprotection:whicheventhenoughttobemycousinMorden's,ratherthanMr.Lovelace's,oranyotherperson's.

Myheart,inshort,misgivesmeless,whenIresolvethisway,thanwhenIthinkoftheother:andinsostrongandinvoluntaryabias,theheartis,asImaysay,conscience.Andwellcautionsthewiseman:'Letthecounselofthineownheartstand;forthereisnomanmorefaithfultotheethanit:foraman'smindissometimeswonttotellhimmorethansevenwatchmen,thatsitaboveinahightower.'*

*Ecclus.xxxvii.13,14.

Forgivetheseindigestedself-reasonings.Iwillclosehere:andinstantlysetaboutaletterofrevocationtoMr.Lovelace;takeitashewill.Itwillonlybeanothertrialoftempertohim.Tomeof

infiniteimportance.Andhashenotpromisedtemperandacquiescence,onthesuppositionofachangeinmymind?

LETTERXLVI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAYMORNING,APRIL9.

Nobodyitseemswillgotochurchthisday.Noblessingtobeexpectedperhapsuponviewssoworldly,andinsomesocruel.

TheyhaveamistrustthatIhavesomedeviceinmyhead.Bettyhasbeenlookingamongmyclothes.Ifoundher,oncomingupfromdepositingmylettertoLovelace(forIhavewritten!)peeringamongthem;forIhadleftthekeyinthelock.Shecoloured,andwasconfoundedtobecaught.ButIonlysaid,Ishouldbeaccustomedtoanysortoftreatmentintime.Ifshehadherorders--thosewereenoughforher.

Sheowned,inherconfusion,thatamotionhadbeenmadetoabridgemeofmyairings;andthereportsheshouldmake,wouldbeofnodisadvantagetome.Oneofmyfriends,shetoldme,urgedinmybehalf,Thattherewasnoneedoflayingmeundergreaterrestraint,sinceMr.Lovelace'sthreateningtorescuemebyviolence,wereItohavebeen

carriedtomyuncle's,wasaconvictionthatIhadnodesigntogotohimvoluntarily;andthatifIhad,Ishouldhavemadepreparationsofthatkindbeforenow;and,mostprobably,hadbeendetectedinthem.--Hence,itwasalsoinferred,thattherewasnoroomtodoubt,butIwouldatlastcomply.And,addedtheboldcreature,ifyoudon'tintendtodoso,yourconduct,Miss,seemsstrangetome.--Onlythusshereconciledit,thatIhadgonesofar,Iknewnothowtocomeoffgenteelly:andshefanciedIshould,infullcongregation,onWednesday,giveMr.Solmesmyhand.Andthensaidtheconfidentwench,asthelearnedDr.BrandtookhistextlastSunday,Therewillbejoyin



heaven--

ThisisthesubstanceofmylettertoMr.Lovelace:

'ThatIhavereasonsofthegreatestconsequencetomyself(andwhich,whenknown,mustsatisfyhim)tosuspend,forthepresent,myintentionofleavingmyfather'shouse:thatIhavehopesthatmattersmaybebroughttoanhappyconclusion,withouttakingastep,whichnothingbutthelastnecessitycouldjustify:andthathemaydependuponmypromise,thatIwilldieratherthanconsenttomarryMr.Solmes.'

Andso,Iampreparingmyselftostandtheshockofhisexclamatoryreply.Butbethatwhatitwill,itcannotaffectmesomuch,astheapprehensionsofwhatmayhappentomenextTuesdayorWednesday;fornowthoseapprehensionsengagemywholeattention,andmakemesickattheveryheart.

SUNDAY,FOURINTHEAFTERNOON.

Myletterisnotyettakenaway--Ifheshouldnotsendforit,ortakeit,orcomehitheronmynotmeetinghimto-morrow,indoubtofwhatmayhavebefallenme,whatshallIdo!WhyhadIanyconcernswiththissex!--I,thatwassohappytillIknewthisman!

Idinedintheivysummer-house.Myrequesttodoso,wascompliedwithatthefirstword.ToshewImeantnothing,IwentagainintothehousewithBetty,assoonasIhaddined.Ithoughtitwasnotamisstoaskthisliberty;theweatherseemedtobesetinfine.WhoknowswhatTuesdayorWednesdaymayproduce?

SUNDAYEVENING,SEVENO'CLOCK.

Thereremainsmyletterstill!--Heisbusied,Isuppose,inhispreparationsforto-morrow.Butthenhehasservants.Doesthemanthinkheissosecureofme,thathavingappointed,heneednotgivehimself

anyfurtherconcernaboutmetilltheverymoment?HeknowshowIambeset.Heknowsnotwhatmayhappen.Imaybeill,orstillmorecloselywatchedorconfinedthanbefore.Thecorrespondencemightbediscovered.Itmightbenecessarytovarythescheme.Imightbeforcedintomeasures,whichmightentirelyfrustratemypurpose.Imighthavenewdoubts.Imightsuggestsomethingmoreconvenient,foranythingheknew.Whatcanthemanmean,Iwonder!--Yetitshalllie;forifhehasitanytimebeforetheappointedhour,itwillsavemedeclaringtohimpersonallymychangedpurpose,andthetroubleofcontendingwithhimonthatscore.Ifhesendforitatall,hewillseebythedate,thathemighthavehaditintime;andifhebeputtoanyinconveniencefromshortnessofnotice,lethimtakeitforhispains.

SUNDAYNIGHT,NINEO'CLOCK.

Itisdetermined,itseems,tosendforMrs.NortontobehereonTuesdaytodinner;andsheistostaywithmeforawholeweek.

Sosheisfirsttoendeavourtopersuademetocomply;and,whentheviolenceisdone,sheistocomfortme,andtrytoreconcilemetomyfate.Theyexpectfitsandfetches,Bettyinsolentlytellsme,andexpostulations,andexclamations,withoutnumber:buteverybodywill



bepreparedforthem:andwhenit'sover,it'sover;andIshallbeeasyandpacifiedwhenIfindIcan'thelpit.

MONDAYMORN.APRIL10,SEVENO'CLOCK.

Omydear!thereyetliestheletter,justasIleftit!

Doeshethinkheissosureofme?--PerhapsheimaginesthatIdarenotaltermypurpose.IwishIhadneverknownhim!Ibeginnowtoseethisrashnessinthelighteveryoneelsewouldhaveseenitin,hadIbeenguiltyofit.ButwhatcanIdo,ifhecometo-dayattheappointedtime!Ifhereceivenottheletter,Imustseehim,orhewillthinksomethinghasbefallenme;andcertainlywillcometothehouse.Ascertainlyhewillbeinsulted.Andwhat,inthatcase,maybetheconsequence!ThenIasgoodaspromisedthatIwouldtakethefirstopportunitytoseehim,ifIchangemymind,andtogivehimmyreasonsforit.Ihavenodoubtbuthewillbeoutofhumouruponit:butbetter,ifwemeet,thatheshouldgoawaydissatisfiedwithme,thanthatIshouldgoawaydissatisfiedwithmyself.

Yet,shortasthetimeis,hemaystillperhapssend,andgettheletter.Somethingmayhavehappenedtopreventhim,whichwhenknownwillexcusehim.

AfterIhavedisappointedhimmorethanoncebefore,onarequestedinterviewonly,itisimpossibleheshouldnothaveacuriosityatleast,toknowifsomethinghasnothappened;andwhethermymindholdornotinthismoreimportantcase.Andyet,asIrashlyconfirmedmyresolutionbyasecondletter,Ibeginnowtodoubtit.

NINEO'CLOCK.

MycousinDollyHerveyslidtheenclosedletterintomyhand,asIpassedbyher,comingoutofthegarden.

DEARESTMADAM,

Ihavegotintelligencefromonewhopretendstoknoweverything,thatyoumustbemarriedonWednesdaymorningtoMr.Solmes.Perhaps,however,shesaysthisonlytovexme;foritisthatsaucycreatureBettyBarnes.Alicenseisgot,asshesays:andsofarshewentastotellme(biddingmesaynothing,butsheknewIwould)thatMr.Brandistomarryyou.ForDr.LewenIhear,refuses,unlessyourconsentcanbeobtained;andtheyhaveheardthathedoesnotapproveoftheirproceedingsagainstyou.Mr.Brand,Iamtold,istohavehisfortunemadebyuncleHarloweandamongthem.

YouwillknowbetterthanIwhattomakeofallthesematters;forsometimesIthinkBettytellsmethingsasifIshouldnottellyou,andyetexpectsthatIwill.*ForthereisgreatwhisperingbetweenMissHarloweandher;andIhaveobservedthatwhentheirwhisperingisover,Bettycomesandtellsmesomethingbywayofsecret.SheandalltheworldknowhowmuchIloveyou:andsoIwouldhavethem.Itisanhonourtometoloveayoungladywhoisandeverwasanhonourtoallherfamily,letthemsaywhattheywill.



*ItiseasyforsuchofthereadersashavebeenattentivetoMr.Lovelace'smannerofworking,tosuppose,fromthishintofMissHervey's,thathehadinstructedhisdouble-facedagenttoputhissweet-heartBettyuponalarmingMissHervey,inhopesshewouldalarmherbelovedcousin,(asweseeshedoes,)inordertokeephersteadytoherappointmentwithhim.

ButfromamorecertainauthoritythanBetty'sIcanassureyou(butImustbegofyoutoburnthisletter)thatyouaretobesearchedoncemoreforletters,andforpenandink;fortheyknowyouwrite.SomethingtheypretendtohavecomeatfromoneofMr.Lovelace'sservants,whichtheyhopetomakesomethingof.Iknownotforcertainwhatitis.Hemustbeaveryvileandwickedmanwhowouldboastofalady'sfavourtohim,andrevealsecrets.ButMr.Lovelace,Idaresay,istoomuchofagentlemantobeguiltyofsuchingratitude.

Thentheyhaveanotion,fromthatfalseBettyIbelieve,thatyouintendtotakesomethingtomakeyourselfsick;andsotheywillsearchforphialsandpowdersandsuchlike.

Ifnothingshallbefoundthatwillincreasetheirsuspicions,youaretobeusedmorekindlybyyourpapawhenyouappearbeforethemall,

thanheoflatehasusedyou.

Yet,sickorwell,alas!mydearcousin!youmustbemarried.Butyourhusbandistogohomeeverynightwithoutyou,tillyouarereconciledtohim.Andsoillnesscanbenopretencetosaveyou.

Theyaresureyouwillmakeagoodwife.SowouldnotI,unlessIlikedmyhusband.AndMr.Solmesisalwaystellingthemhowhewillpurchaseyourlovebyrichpresents.--Asyncophantman!--IwishheandBettyBarnesweretocometogether;andhewouldbeathereveryday.

AfterwhatItoldyou,Ineednotadviseyoutosecureeverythingyouwouldnothaveseen.

Oncemoreletmebegthatyouwillburnthisletter;and,pray,dearestMadam,donottakeanythingthatmayprejudiceyourhealth:forthatwillnotdo.Iam

Yourtrulylovingcousin,D.H.

*****

WhenIfirstreadmycousin'sletter,Iwashalfinclinedtoresumemyformerintention;especiallyasmycountermandingletterwasnottaken

away;andasmyheartachedatthethoughtsoftheconflictImustexpecttohavewithhimonmyrefusal.ForseehimforafewmomentsIdoubtImust,lestheshouldtakesomerashresolutions;especiallyashehasreasontoexpectIwillseehim.Buthereyourwords,thatallpunctilioisatanendthemomentIamoutofmyfather'shouse,addedtothestillmorecogentconsiderationsofdutyandreputation,determinedmeoncemoreagainsttherashstep.Anditwillbeveryhard(althoughnoseasonablefainting,orwished-forfit,shouldstandmyfriend)ifIcannotgainonemonth,orfortnight,orweek.AndIhavestillmorehopesthatIshallprevailforsomedelay,frommycousin's



intimationthatthegoodDr.Lewenrefusestogivehisassistancetotheirprojects,iftheyhavenotmyconsent,andthinksmecruellyused:since,withouttakingnoticethatIamapprizedofthis,Icanpleadascrupleofconscience,andinsistuponhavingthatworthydivine'sopinionuponit:inwhich,enforcedasIshallenforceit,mymotherwillsurelysecondme:myauntHervey,andMrs.Norton,willsupporther:thesuspensionmustfollow:andIcanbutgetawayafterwards.

But,iftheywillcompelme:iftheywillgivemenotime:ifnobodywillbemoved:ifitberesolvedthattheceremonyshouldbereadovermyconstrainedhand--whythen--Alas!Whatthen!--Icanbut--Butwhat?Omydear!thisSolmesshallneverhavemyvowsIamresolved!andIwillsaynothingbutno,aslongasIshallbeabletospeak.Andwhowillpresumetolookuponsuchanactofviolenceasamarriage?--Itisimpossible,surely,thatafatherandmothercanseesuchadreadfulcompulsionofferedtotheirchild--butifmineshouldwithdraw,andleavethetasktomybrotherandsister,theywillhavenomercy.

Iamgrievedtobedriventohaverecoursetothefollowingartifices.

Ihavegiventhemaclue,bythefeatherofapenstickingout,wheretheywillfindsuchofmyhiddenstories,asIintendtheyshallfind.

TwoorthreelittleessaysIhavelefteasytobeseen,ofmyown

writing.

Aboutadozenlinesalsoofaletterbeguntoyou,inwhichIexpressmyhopes,(althoughIsaythatappearancesareagainstme,)andthatmyfriendswillrelent.Theyknowfromyourmother,bymyuncleAntony,that,somehoworother,Inowandthengetalettertoyou.InthispieceofaletterIdeclarerenewedlymyfirmresolutiontogiveupthemansoobnoxioustomyfamily,ontheirreleasingmefromtheaddressoftheother.

Neartheessays,IhaveleftthecopyofmylettertoLadyDrayton;*whichaffordingargumentssuitabletomycase,maychance(thusaccidentallytobefallenupon)toinclinethemtofavourme.

*SeeLettersXIII.andXIV.

Ihavereservesofpensandink,youmaybelieve;andoneortwointheivysummer-house;withwhichIshallamusemyself,inordertolighten,ifpossible,thoseapprehensionswhichmoreandmoreaffectme,asWednesday,thedayoftrial,approaches.

LETTERXLVII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEIVYSUMMER-HOUSE,ELEVENO'CLOCK.

Hehasnotyetgotmyletter:andwhileIwascontrivingherehowtosendmyofficiousgaoleressfromme,thatImighthavetimefortheintendedinterview,andhadhituponanexpedient,whichIbelievewouldhavedone,camemyaunt,andfurnishedmewithamuchbetter.Shesawmylittletablecovered,preparativetomysolitarydinner;andhoped,shetoldme,thatthiswouldbethelastdaythatmyfriendswouldbe



deprivedofmycompanyattable.

Youmaybelieve,mydear,thatthethoughtsofmeetingMr.Lovelace,forfearofbeingdiscovered,togetherwiththecontentsofmycousinDolly'sletter,gavemegreatandvisibleemotions.Shetooknoticeofthem--Whythesesighs,whytheseheavingshere?saidshe,pattingmyneck--OmydearNiece,whowouldhavethoughtsomuchnaturalsweetnesscouldbesoveryunpersuadable?

Icouldnotanswerher,andsheproceeded--Iamcome,Idoubt,uponaveryunwelcomeerrand.Somethingshavebeentoldusyesterday,whichcamefromthemouthofoneofthemostdesperateandinsolentmenintheworld,convinceyourfather,andallofus,thatyoustillfindmeanstowriteoutofthehouse.Mr.Lovelaceknowseverythingthatisdonehere;andthatassoonasdone;andgreatmischiefisapprehendedfromhim,whichyouareasmuchconcernedasanybodytoprevent.Yourmotherhasalsosomeapprehensionsconcerningyourself,whichyetshehopesaregroundless;but,however,cannotbeeasy,ifshewould,unless(whileyouremainhereinthegarden,orinthissummer-house)yougivehertheopportunityoncemoreoflookingintoyourcloset,yourcabinetanddrawers.Itwillbethebettertaken,ifyougivemecheerfullyyourkeys.Ihope,mydear,youwon'tdisputeit.Yourdesireofdininginthisplacewasthemorereadilycompliedwithforthesakeofsuchanopportunity.

IthoughtmyselfveryluckytobesowellpreparedbymycousinDolly'smeansforthissearch:butyetIartfullymadesomescruples,andnotafewcomplaintsofthistreatment:afterwhich,Inotonlygaveherthekeysofall,butevenofficiouslyemptiedmypocketsbeforeher,andinvitedhertoputherfingersinmystays,thatshemightbesureIhadnopapersthere.

Thishighlyobligedher;andshesaid,shewouldrepresentmycheerfulcomplianceasitdeserved,letmybrotherandsistersaywhattheywould.Mymotherinparticular,shewassure,wouldrejoiceattheopportunitygivenhertoobviate,asshedoubtednotwouldbethecase,somesuspicionsthatwereraisedagainstme.

Shethenhinted,ThatthereweremethodstakentocomeatallMr.Lovelace'ssecrets,andeven,fromhiscarelesscommunicativeness,atsomesecretofmine;itbeing,shesaid,hiscustom,boastinglytopratetohisveryservantsofhisintentions,inparticularcases.Sheadded,thatdeepashewasthoughttobe,mybrotherwasasdeepashe,andfairlytoohardforhimathisownweapons--asonedayitwouldbefound.

Iknewnot,Isaid,themeaningofthesedarkhints.Ithoughtthecunningshehintedat,onbothsides,calledratherforcontemptthanapplause.Imyselfmighthavebeenputuponartificeswhichmyheartdisdainedtopractise,hadIgivenwaytotheresentment,which,Iwas

boldtosay,wasmuchmorejustifiablethantheactionsthatoccasionedit:thatitwasevidenttome,fromwhatshehadsaid,thattheirpresentsuspicionsofmewerepartlyowingtothissupposedsuperiorcunningofmybrother,andpartlytotheconsciousnessthattheusageImetwithmightnaturallyproduceareasonforsuchsuspicions:thatitwasveryunhappyformetobemadethebuttofmybrother'swit:thatitwouldhavebeenmoretohispraisetohaveaimedatshewingakindheartthanacunninghead:that,nevertheless,IwishedheknewhimselfaswellasIimaginedIknewhim;andhewouldthenhavelessconceitofhisabilities:whichabilitieswould,inmyopinion,belessthoughtof,



ifhispowertodoillofficeswerenotmuchgreaterthanthey.

Iwasvexed.Icouldnothelpmakingthisreflection.Thedupetheother,tooprobably,makesofhim,throughhisownspy,deservedit.ButIsolittleapproveofthislowartineither,thatwereIbuttolerablyused,thevilenessofthatman,thatJosephLeman,shouldbeinquiredinto.

Shewassorry,shesaid,tofindthatIthoughtsodisparaginglyofmybrother.Hewasayoungmanbothoflearningandparts.

Learningenough,Isaid,tomakehimvainofitamonguswomen:butnotofpartssufficienttomakehislearningvaluableeithertohimselfortoanybodyelse.

Shewished,indeed,thathehadmoregoodnature:butshefearedthatIhadtoogreatanopinionofsomebodyelse,tothinksowellofmybrotherasasisterought:since,betweenthetwo,therewasasortofrivalry,astoabilities,thatmadethemhateoneanother.

Rivalry!Madam,saidI.--Ifthatbethecase,orwhetheritbeornot,Iwishtheybothunderstood,betterthaneitherofthemseemtodo,whatitbecomesgentlemen,andmenofliberaleducation,tobe,andtodo.--Neitherofthem,then,wouldgloryinwhattheyoughttobeashamed

of.

Butwavingthissubject,itwasnotimpossible,Isaid,thattheymightfindalittleofmywriting,andapenortwo,andalittleink,[hatedart!--orrather,hatefulthenecessityforit!]asIwasnotpermittedtogouptoputthemoutoftheway:butiftheydid,Imustbecontented.AndIassuredher,that,takewhattimetheypleased,Iwouldnotgointodisturbthem,butwouldbeeitherinornearthegarden,inthissummer-house,orinthecedarone,oraboutmypoultry-yard,ornearthegreatcascade,tillIwasorderedtoreturntomyprison.WithlikecunningIsaid,Isupposedtheunkindsearchwouldnotbemadetilltheservantshaddined;becauseIdoubtednotthatthepertBettyBarnes,whoknewallthecornersofmyapartmentandcloset,wouldbe

employedinit.

Shehoped,shesaid,thatnothingcouldbefoundthatwouldgiveahandleagainstme:for,shewouldassureme,themotivestothesearch,onmymother'spartespecially,were,thatshehopedtofindreasonrathertoacquitthantoblameme;andthatmyfathermightbeinducedtoseemyto-morrownight,orWednesdaymorning,withtemper:withtenderness,Ishouldrathersay,saidshe;forheisresolvedtodoso,ifnonewoffencebegiven.

Ah!Madam,saidI--

WhythatAh!Madam,andshakingyourheadsosignificantly?

Iwish,Madam,thatImaynothavemorereasontodreadmyfather'scontinueddispleasure,thantohopeforhisreturningtenderness.

Youdon'tknow,mydear!--Thingsmaytakeaturn--thingsmaynotbesobadasyoufear--

DearestMadam,haveyouanyconsolationtogiveme?--

Why,mydear,itispossible,thatyoumaybemorecompliablethanyou



havebeen.

Whyraisedyoumyhopes,Madam?--Don'tletmethinkmydearauntHerveycrueltoaniecewhotrulyhonoursher.

Imaytellyoumoreperhaps,saidshe(butinconfidence,absoluteconfidence)iftheinquirywithincameoutinyourfavour.Doyouknowofanythinabovethatcanbefoundtoyourdisadvantage?--

Somepaperstheywillfind,Idoubt:butImusttakeconsequences.Mybrotherandsisterwillbeathandwiththeirgood-naturedconstructions.Iammadedesperate,andcarenotwhatisfound.

Ihope,Iearnestlyhope,thatnothingcanbefoundthatwillimpeachyourdiscretion;andthen--butImaysaytoomuch--

Andawayshewent,havingaddedtomyperplexity.

ButInowcanthinkofnothingbutthisinterview.--WouldtoHeavenitwereover!--Tomeettoquarrel--but,lethimtakewhatmeasureshewill,Iwillnotstayamomentwithhim,ifhebenotquitecalmandresigned.

Don'tyouseehowcrookedsomeofmylinesare?Don'tyouseehowsomeofthelettersstaggermorethanothers?--Thatiswhenthisinterviewis

moreinmyheadthaninmysubject.

But,afterall,shouldI,oughtItomeethim?HowhaveItakenitforgrantedthatIshould!--Iwishthereweretimetotakeyouradvice.Yetyouaresolothtospeakquiteout--butthatIowe,asyouown,tothedifficultyofmysituation.

Ishouldhavementioned,thatinthecourseofthisconversationIbesoughtmyaunttostandmyfriend,andtoputinawordformeonmyapproachingtrial;andtoendeavourtoprocuremetimeforconsideration,ifIcouldobtainnothingelse.

Shetoldme,that,aftertheceremonywasperformed[odiousconfirmation

ofahintinmycousinDolly'sletter!]IshouldhavewhattimeIpleasedtoreconcilemyselftomylotbeforecohabitation.

Thisputmeoutofallpatience.

Sherequestedofmeinherturn,shesaid,thatIwouldresolvetomeetthemallwithcheerfulduty,andwithaspiritofabsoluteacquiescence.Itwasinmypowertomakethemallhappy.Andhowjoyfulwoulditbetoher,shesaid,toseemyfather,mymother,myuncles,mybrother,mysister,allembracingmewithraptures,andfoldingmeinturnstotheirfondhearts,andcongratulatingeachotherontheirrestoredhappiness!Herownjoy,shesaid,wouldprobablymakehermotionlessandspeechlessforatime:andforherDolly--thepoorgirl,whohadsufferedinthe

esteemofsome,forhergratefulattachmenttome,wouldhaveeverybodyloveheragain.

Willyoudoubt,mydear,thatmynexttrialwillbethemostaffectingthatIhaveyethad?

Myauntsetforthallthisinsostrongalight,andIwassoparticularlytouchedonmycousinDolly'saccount,that,impatientasIwasjustbefore,Iwasgreatlymoved:yetcouldonlyshew,bymysighsandmytears,howdesirablesuchaneventwouldbetome,couldit



bebroughtaboutuponconditionswithwhichitwaspossibleformetocomply.

HerecomesBettyBarneswithmydinner--

*****

Thewenchisgone.Thetimeofmeetingisathand.Othathemaynotcome!--ButshouldI,orshouldInot,meethim?--HowIquestion,withoutpossibilityofatimelyanswer!

Betty,accordingtomyleadinghinttomyaunt,boastedtome,thatshewastobeemployed,asshecalledit,aftershehadeatherowndinner.

Sheshouldbesorry,shetoldme,tohavemefoundout.Yet'twouldbeallformygood.Ishouldhaveitinmypowertobeforgivenforallatonce,beforeWednesdaynight.Theconfidentcreaturethen,tostiflealaugh,putacornerofheraproninhermouth,andwenttothedoor:andonherreturntotakeaway,asIangrilybidher,shebeggedmyexcuse--but--but--andthenthesaucycreaturelaughedagain,shecouldnothelpit,tothinkhowIhaddrawnmyselfinbymysummer-housedinnering,sinceithadgivensofineanopportunity,bywayof

surprise,tolookintoallmyprivatehoards.Shethoughtsomethingwasinthewind,whenmybrothercameintomydiningheresoreadily.Heryoungmasterwastoohardforeverybody.'SquireLovelacehimselfwasnothingatallataquickthoughttoheryoungmaster.

MyauntmentionedMr.Lovelace'sboastingbehaviourtohisservants:perhapshemaybesomean.Butastomybrother,healwaystookaprideinmakinghimselfappeartobeamanofpartsandlearningtoourownservants.Prideandmeanness,Ihaveoftenthought,areasnearlyallied,andascloseborderersuponeachother,asthepoettellsuswitandmadnessare.

ButwhydoItroubleyou(andmyself,atsuchacrisis)withthese

impertinences?--YetIwouldforget,ifIcould,thenearestevil,theinterview;because,myapprehensionsincreasingasthehourisathand,Ishould,weremyintentionstobeengrossedbythem,beunfittoseehim,ifhedoescome:andthenhewillhavetoomuchadvantageoverme,ashewillhaveseemingreasontoreproachmewithchangeofresolution.

Theupbraider,youknow,mydear,isinsomesenseasuperior;whiletheupbraided,ifwithreasonupbraided,mustmakeafigureasspiritlessasconscious.

Iknowthatthiswretchwill,ifhecan,behisownjudge,andminetoo.Butthelatterheshallnotbe.

Idaresay,weshallbealltopieces.ButIdon'tcareforthat.Itwouldbehard,ifI,whohavehelditoutsosturdilytomyfatheranduncles,shouldnot--butheisatthegarden-door--

*****

Iwasmistaken!--Howmanynoisesunlike,bemadeliketowhatonefears!--Whyfluttersthefoolso--!



*****

Iwillhastentodepositthis.ThenIwill,forthelasttime,gototheusualplace,inhopestofindthathehasgotmyletter.Ifhehas,Iwillnotmeethim.Ifhehasnot,Iwilltakeitback,andshewhimwhatIhavewritten.Thatwillbreaktheice,asImaysay,andsavememuchcircumlocutionandreasoning:andasteadyadherencetothatmywrittenmindisallthatwillbenecessary.--Theinterviewmustbeasshortaspossible;forshoulditbediscovered,itwouldfurnishanewandstrongpretencefortheintendedevilofWednesdaynext.

PerhapsIshallnotbeabletowriteagainonewhile.PerhapsnottillIamthemiserablepropertyofthatSolmes!--Butthatshallnever,neverbe,whileIhavemysenses.

IfyourservantfindnothingfrommebyWednesdaymorning,youmaythenconcludethatIcanneitherwritetoyou,norreceiveyourfavours.

Inthatcase,pityandprayforme,mybelovedfriend;andcontinuetomethatplaceinyouraffection,whichistheprideofmylife,andtheonlycomfortleftto

YourCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXLVIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEST.ALBAN'S,TUESDAYMORN.PASTONE.

OMYDEARESTFRIEND!

AfterwhatIhadresolvedupon,asbymyformer,whatshallIwrite?whatcanI?withwhatconsciousness,evenbyletter,doIapproachyou?--Youwillsoonhear(ifalreadyyouhavenotheardfromthemouthofcommonfame)thatyourClarissaHarloweisgoneoffwithaman!

Iambusyingmyselftogiveyoutheparticularsatlarge.Thewholetwenty-fourhoursofeachday(tobeginatthemomentIcanfix)shallbeemployedinittillitisfinished:everyoneofthehours,Imean,thatwillbesparedmebythisinterruptingman,towhomIhavemademyselfsofoolishlyaccountablefortoomanyofthem.Restisdepartedfromme.Ihavenocallforthat:andthathasnobalmforthewoundsofmymind.Soyou'llhaveallthosehourswithoutinterruptiontilltheaccountisended.

Butwillyoureceive,shallyoubepermittedtoreceivemyletters,afterwhatIhavedone?

Omydearestfriend!--ButImustmakethebestofit.

Ihopethatwillnotbeverybad!yetamIconvincedthatIdidarashandinexcusablethinginmeetinghim;andallhistenderness,allhisvows,cannotpacifymyinwardreproachesonthataccount.



Thebearercomestoyou,mydear,forthelittleparceloflinenwhichIsentyouwithfarbetterandmoreagreeablehopes.

Sendnotmyletters.Sendthelinenonly:exceptyouwillfavourmewithoneline,totellmeyoulovemestill;andthatyouwillsuspendyourcensurestillyouhavethewholebeforeyou.Iamthereadiertosendthusearly,becauseifyouhavedepositedanythingforme,youmaycauseittobetakenback,orwithholdanythingyouhadbutintendedtosend.

Adieu,mydearestfriend!--Ibeseechyoutolovemestill--Butalas!whatwillyourmothersay?--whatwillmine?--whatmyotherrelations?--andwhatmydearMrs.Norton?--andhowwillmybrotherandsistertriumph!

Icannotatpresenttellyouhow,orwhere,youcandirecttome.ForveryearlyshallIleavethisplace;harassedandfatiguedtodeath.But,whenIcandonothingelse,constantusehasmademeabletowrite.Long,verylong,hasbeenallmyamusementandpleasure:yetcouldnotthathavebeensuchtome,hadInothadyou,mybestbelovedfriend,towriteto.Oncemoreadieu.Pityandprayfor

YourCL.HARLOWE.

END OF VOL II

Volume 2 Clarissa

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Transcript of Volume 2 Clarissa