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Show me the money, hubby! Anjali Singh Jaiswal [ Saturday, May 20, 2006 11:02:26 pm TIMES NEWS NETWORK ]

RSS Feeds | SMS NEWS to 8888 for latest updates That's how smart women in the city are cashing in on their marital disputes. Marital disputes are fast becoming a popular way to rake in the moolah and legally at that. Legal eagles in the city claim that the abla nari now is the one laughing all the way to the bank. Confirming the trend, lawyers at family courts say they are seeing a rise in cases where economically independent women are exploring ways to make the most of their failed marriages. Says Ranjana Dixit, advocate and president of the American Library Bar Association (Family Courts), "A large number of cases coming to us are of women seeking maintenance despite not being entitled to the same. The law clearly states that if a woman is economically independent, she cannot demand financial help from her husband. But that does not deter women from making quick money through marital disputes. With marriage laws titled in the women's favour, it's not difficult either. An added advantage is the ignorance of the husband and his family about their own rights."... ...

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Show me the money, hubby! Anjali Singh Jaiswal [ Saturday, May 20, 2006 11:02:26 pm TIMES NEWS NETWORK ]

RSS Feeds | SMS NEWS to 8888 for latest updates With a Supreme Court ruling legalising live-in relationships, Dixit informs, "Even those who remarry don't declare their second marriage by presenting it as a live-in relationship, in order to continue claiming maintenance from their ex-husband. Since such women come from affluent homes, the sum they receive as maintenance is sizable." Making matters worse is the family interference from both sides, say city sociologists. Explains Pallavi Bagchi, a city based sociologist and a counsellor for an NGO dealing with marital disputes, "Ambitious women today are encouraged to teach their husbands a lesson. With her standard of living too having risen, she refuses to be taken for granted. These reasons can lead her to consider ways that are immoral to maintain a steady flow of money and the marital dispute is seen as the easiest way to ensure that." Agrees Kailash Nath Sahu, secretary Agarwal Samaj, who was called upon by the parents of a groom to bail them out of such a situation, "The marriage was solemnised in a mass mas marriage ceremony sans any dowry. Unable to adjust to the family in Gorakhpur, the girl returned to her parents in Sitapur after a few months and refused to go back. A case of dowry harassment was filed and money given as dowry was demanded back. The boy's side then approached us to testify in court that no dowry was taken at the time of marriage. The intention was to financially gain as much as possible through a marriage turned sour." But feels Ranjana Bajpai, president, State Women Commission, "I don't deny such cases occur, but these are exceptions. In fact, the lawyers and police egg on the warring parties to demand a fat sum which can be shared between them. So why blame only women?"

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'Women behind 33 pc of crimes in Meerut'- The Times of India

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'Women behind 33 pc of crimes in Meerut' [ Friday, June 23, 2006 06:46:34 pm PTI ]

RSS Feeds | SMS NEWS to 8888 for latest updates MEERUT: A recent study conducted by a PhD student has found that 33 per cent of crimes recorded in this city during the past three years were committed by women. In her thesis "Increasing tendency among women in committing crimes", Ruchi Garg, a student of Chaudhry Charan Singh University, found that 400 women had committed various crimes in 2002, and this figure rose to 800 in 2005. Her study said the tendency to commit crimes was greater among women in rural areas. The study also found that married women committed more crimes than single women. Giving a break-up, Garg claimed that 75 per cent of the crimes were committed by married women, while unmarried girls accounted for 15 per cent and widows 12 per cent. In several cases, women were found to have killed their husbands for having extra-marital affairs whereas in some women have even killed other women to keep their "illicit relations" a secret. Another reason for crimes by women, the research showed, was marriages between people of different backgrounds that gave rise to extra-marital affairs.

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Mumbai’s divorce cases are doubling annually Counsellors blame infidelity, incompatibility and interference from in-laws

Bapu Deedwania The rate at which the number of divorce cases have been increasing in the last few years isay marriage counsellors. While in 2002, there were 1,819 cases, the number went up to 3Currently, there are a whopping 6,000 petitions pending in the family courts. “The number of divorces has been almost doubling annually. There are 6,000 cases currenfamily court,” said Sunanda Joshi, Principal Judge, Bandra family court. About 30-35 couplevery day, she added. Other than incompatibility and infidelity, marriage counsellor Rukhsana Ayaz said impulsivreason for broken families. She said couples gave up on their marriages very easily. Sexologist Rajan Bonsle said problems with in-laws was a also a major causes for the brearelationships. “Usually, the couple functions better in isolation. In-laws tend to inflict extermisunderstandings between spouses. When in-laws don't influence the marriage, a couple reduced almost by 80 per cent,” he said. The counsellors also noted that more and more couples in the city were opting for divorce “There is a speedy rise in divorce by mutual consent among urban couples because it is mobtain. As both spouses are financially independent, they prefer to end the association witAyaz. Considering the sharp increase in divorces many in the legal fraternity feel that the time hnuptial agreements to become acceptable. “Judicial activism can introduce new laws that accommodate pre-nuptial agreements. Thesthe process and settle matters in an amicable way,” said Justice Joshi.

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Bar girl leaves hubby pauper

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Bhopal, May 31: A bar girl, who married a Mumbai-based businessman, ran away with all his money, valuables and their child, and now refuses to leave her hometown in Madhya Pradesh despite her husband's pleas.

Vyomesh Mittal, a garment dealer in Mumbai, married Sonu two-and-a-half years back. However, while he was away on a business trip last month, the bar girl reportedly decamped with his money and is now living with her parents in Morena town.

Mittal travelled all the way to Morena in search of his wife, where he narrated the incident to Superintendent of Police Ravi Gupta.

Despite his numerous pleas, Sonu refused to return to Mumbai with Mittal. Further, he was threatened by her family members to forget her or pay with his life.

"I was not even allowed to meet my 18-months-old son and her family members threatened to kill me if I dared to visit the place ever again. I am not worried about the money and the valuables, but I simply want her to return and live with me", Mittal was quoted as telling Gupta.

According to the police, Sonu belongs to a family deeply rooted in prostitution. However, they too are helpless, as Mittal has refused to lodge an official complaint.

They said that the businessman does not want any action against Sonu, but wants her to return home with his child.

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Husband bashed by cruel wife! Alka Rastogi Lucknow, April 3, 2006

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A rare case of domestic abuse has been reported. A doctor, living in Agra, has filed a complaint with the cops alleging that he has been physically and mentally tortured by his wife. Dr Himanshu Kulbhushan has filed the complaint against his wife, Dr Leena Kulbhushan, an ophthalmologist. According to Himanshu, his wife often slapped, boxed and beat him with rods! Recently, she gave him a beating as a result of which his hand got fractured. The doctor has further complained that his wife used to hurl unprintable abuses on him causing mental torture from last three years. Moreover, the wife has soiled her husband's reputation in the eyes of his relatives, friends and patients by abusing and torturing him. Currently, the man is very scared of his wife, who is also an eye surgeon. Meanwhile, Leena (his wife) after being arrested has been released on bail. The police has registered a case against her under sections 325,323,499, 504, and 506 of IPC.

It is learnt that the police released her on a personal level as "she was a reputed eye surgeon and there was no chance of her running away."

However, her husband expects a harsher treatment on his wife.

Interestingly, after the lady doctor was released she once again threatened her husband with dire consequences for having reported the matter to the police. She has reportedly left for Kota but her husband is living in constant fear of her arrival.

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India's new worldly women Pete Engardio, Businessweek | October 03, 2005 When the first American music videos and popular TV shows began appearing in Indian homes in the early 1990s thanks to satellite and cable, many pundits predicted Indian society would never be the same. For the first time, young Indian women saw a regular dose of sexy, scantily clad divas shimmying.

Female viewers also saw independent, successful women -- think Ally McBeal -- and fun, sensitive guys a la Friends. Sex and divorce were openly discussed in these TV imports and couples kissed passionately -- then still a taboo in Indian TV shows and movies.

Indeed, the impact on younger generations of Indian women has been profound. Whereas Indian women traditionally have been submissive to parents and husbands and valued frugality and modesty, a number of sociological studies show that young Indian females now prize financial independence, freedom to decide when to marry and have children, and glamorous careers.

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"A generation back, women would sacrifice themselves and believed in saving," says Nisha Singhania, senior strategic planning director of Grey Worldwide India. "Today, it is spend, spend, spend. It is O.K. for a woman to want something for herself, and people will accept it if she goes out into a man's world making a statement."

Because today's young women are the key consumer group of

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India's new worldly women

tomorrow, these shifts have big implications for marketing companies.

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And the trends come out clearly in two recent studies by Grey Global Group. One study examined 3,400 unmarried women aged 19-22 of different income and social levels. Altogether, the project involved 40 focus groups in five large metro areas and five smaller cities.

In some cases, the researchers lived with the women for a while to study them more closely. The researchers supplemented this data with interviews of journalists, teachers, and psychologists.

Among the findings:

Guilt-free materialism. Fifty-one per cent of young single women in major metro areas say it's necessary to have a big house and big car to be happy. In smaller cities, 86% agreed with this statement. "This shows that the less women have, the greater are their aspirations," says Singhania.

One woman interviewed was making just $200 a year but said she wants to own a jet plane. "A typical comment in recent interviews was, 'I want money, fame and success,'" says Singhania.

Parental ties. Traditionally, parents regarded girls as somebody else's future property. They arranged marriages for their daughters, and then the daughters would go away and take care of their in-laws, so parents needed and doted on sons. "As a girl, you never spoke to your parents. They spoke to you," Singhania says.

But today's young women are rebelling against that. Sixty-seven per cent say they plan to take care of their parents into their old age -- and that means they need money.

Unilever played on that sentiment with a recent controversial -- but successful -- ad for its Fair and Lovely line of beauty products. A daughter came home and found that her parents had no sugar for coffee because they couldn't afford it. She became an airline hostess after using the Fair and Lovely products to make her beautiful. She then visited her parents and took them to a first-class restaurant.

Marital freedom. Now many women say they'll marry when ready -- not when their parents decide to marry them off. Sixty-five per cent say dating is essential, and they also want to become financially independent before they marry. More than three-quarters -- 76% -- say they want to maintain that independence afterward. Sixty per cent say they'll decide how to spend their own salaries.

What's more, 76% say they'll decide when to have children. "They now regard this as the woman's decision completely," observes Singhania. In big metro areas, 24% say they never want children, and that number reaches 40% in smaller cities.

Individualism. Female role models in Indian culture used to personify perfection, Singhania says. Now, 62% of girls say it's O.K. if

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India's new worldly women

they have faults and that people see them. "They don't want to be seen as Mrs. Perfect," she says. "Popular characters are Phoebe of Friends and Ally McBeal. They like women who commit blunders."

Careerism. A decade ago, most young women saw themselves as housewives. After that, most said they wanted to be teachers or doctors. "If they had a profession at all, it had to be a noble cause," Singhania says. "Now, it is about glamour, money, and fame."

A surprising 45% of young single females say they would like to be journalists. Singhania says that's largely because prominent female journalists, especially TV reporters, are seen as very glamorous.

Another 39% say they would like to be managers, 38% are interested in design, and 20% think they want to be teachers. Interestingly, 13% say they would like to be in the military. The per centage of those saying they want to be a full-time housewife was minuscule.

Modern husbands. "The relationship with the husband used to be one of awe," Singhania says. "Now, women want a partner and a relationship of equals. They want to marry a man like Greg of Dharma and Greg or Chandler of Friends."

A recent Whirlpool ad shows a man washing the family clothes before his wife comes home from work, while a Samsung home-appliance ad shows a husband and wife cooking together.

For Indian society, the changes in young women's outlook on life is revolutionary. For marketers, they offer interesting new opportunities to exploit.

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Wife’s Lib makes Indian divorce soar - Sunday Times - Times Online

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The Sunday Times - World The Sunday Times February 27, 2005

Wife’s Lib makes Indian divorce soar Amrit Dhillon, New Delhi

WHEN Anil Srivastav, a financier, faced his wife in a New Delhi court yesterday for the final hearing to end their seven-year marriage, he knew where to pin the blame for the breakdown: women’s liberation.

His wife, Anjali, 26, is a marketing executive who often works until late at night and travels for her job. Anil, 28, says he had no problem with her career but wanted her to come home earlier to spend time with their six-year-old son. What also rankled was her reluctance to perform puja (prayers) and wear a sari when with older members of his family.

“I don’t mind if she roams around in shorts or jeans when we’re with friends, but I expected her to wear traditional clothes in front of my parents,” he said. “Whenever I asked her to follow any Indian tradition, she’d ask, ‘Why?’ I’m all for working women and I know society is changing, but we have to preserve our culture.”

Indian marriage is in crisis. More and more young couples like the Srivastavs are getting divorced. Although no reliable national statistics are available, the number of divorces within the first year of marriage have risen by around 30% since 2000. Seven out of 10 involve couples aged 25 to 35.

These statistics are all the more shocking considering Indian society’s obsession with marriage. Weddings, which often last for days, are both highly expensive and lavish by western standards.

Traditionally to be unmarried was to be a circus freak, a divorced man was a curiosity and a divorcée was viewed as a painted Jezebel. But such perceptions are changing, even though some 95% of marriages remain arranged.

For centuries Indian women were expected to “adjust” to their husbands — a classic euphemism meaning a bride must bend to the will of her husband and in-laws and endure virtually anything short of insanity or depravity. But young, educated, urban women lack their mothers’ docility.

The new woman is smart, has an MBA, wears designer clothes, drives herself around town and sips chardonnay in funky bars. Increasingly economically independent, she is no longer prepared to remain in an unhappy marriage.

“Women are driving the change. They are the ones questioning the old patterns and demanding change, while Indian men still want them to follow some 16th-century model of marital behaviour,” says Shobhaa De, a former “bonkbuster” author whose marriage manual, Spouse: The Truth About Marriage, is soaring up the bestsellers list.

A short, light, breezy read aimed at the middle classes, Spouse has sold 15,000 copies in a week. De, who claims to have been “blown away” by the book’s success, says: “Indian couples are confused and bewildered. With women changing so radically, the men are really struggling to adapt.”

The onus, according to De, is on men to change. “They have to realise that women no longer need marriage as a security blanket or as a meal ticket,” she said. “Women can pay their own way, pay their own bills. What they want now from marriage is respect and equality.”

Take Alisha Kapoor, 32, who has divorced her husband after four years of marriage because she considers they are temperamentally incompatible and want different things out of life.

“I like stability and a settled life,” she said. “His lifestyle is wild and anarchic and we just couldn’t get along. My parents supported me. My mother told me if I was unhappy I should get out while I was still young.”

Many males appear reluctant to move with the times. In a recent survey of men in 11 cities, 72% said they expected their brides to be virgins. Asked if they would marry a woman who admitted to having had pre-marital sex, 77% said “No”.

Subhashini Ali, a women’s rights activist, accuses men of trying to have the best of both worlds: “It suits them to continue with the old ways. They want their wives to work because they need a second

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Wife’s Lib makes Indian divorce soar - Sunday Times - Times Online

income for a glamorous lifestyle, but they hate it when she comes home late from the office, puts her career first or doesn’t grovel in front of her mother-in-law.”

It is not that Indian women are abandoning all traditional notions. Most women still accept that they will probably live with their in-laws; and many would still not dream of eating before first serving their husbands. Some 78% of young people polled in a survey last year said it was “very important” for their spouses to be accepted by their families.

The question is how adept will Indian men be at the kind of “adjusting” that used to be expected of women. “It’s going to very difficult,” says De. “They have been mollycoddled for centuries by their mothers and wives. But this is their wake-up call.”

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