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The following is an excerpt from an article published on U.S. News and World Report’s website on September 10—World Suicide Prevention Day. We are grateful to Lisa Esposito, Patient Advice reporter for U.S. News, for her coverage of the emerging lived experience movement. Taryn Aiken, 39, stands before a hushed audience in the Cannon House Office Building, one of three suicide attempt survivors taking part in a Capitol Hill panel in May. A vivid presence, Aiken recalls traumatic childhood experiences and the rocky road to recovery. Over the past decade, Aiken has spoken publicly about her multiple suicide attempts many times. Yet when she tells attendees about the pain she's lived through, tears fill her eyes. But Aiken doesn't break down—she continues to speak. Educating Congress The panel of suicide survivors was hosted by U.S. Rep. Grace Napolitano, D-Calif., chair of the Congressional Mental Health Caucus. Napolitano has long been concerned about suicide, including the high rate of attempts among young Latinas. She wanted to put faces and voices to the problem of suicide. "People kind of hide the fact that this is an issue – the stigma attached to it," Napolitano says. "That fact that sometimes you don't want to expose yourself for fear of being ridiculed, weak or whatever else. To me, we need to look at all the facets. We can't just sit and say it's not happening. This is reality – we have to deal with it." Congressional staffers said hearing the panel dispelled myths they'd held about suicide. "Everyone's impacted," Napolitano says. "And the sad part is, sometimes there aren't survivors." The hope, she says, is "Maybe by listening to the ones that survived, we can learn a little bit more." Balancing Act Shelby Rowe, manager of education programs for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, also appeared on the Capitol Hill panel. It's much easier to talk about suicide prevention as an expert than as a survivor, Rowe says. She should know – she's done both. "I've been a public speaker in my professional life as a suicide prevention expert for years, so I'm quite comfortable talking about suicide in front of a crowd," Rowe says. "But it's entirely different and intensely personal when I'm sharing about my own past struggles with suicide."

Coming Out as a Suicide Survivor

In this issue:

Waking Up When It’s Not Your Intention

3

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

3

Need Help Right Now?

6

Suicide Anonymous

5

Crisis Resources in Your Area

6

“Inside the Darkness” Reception

4

stories of people who have survived suicide attempts

can you hear me?

december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

(continued on page 2)

TSPN works across the state to eliminate the stigma of suicide and

educate communities about the warning signs of

suicide, with the ultimate goal of reducing suicide

rates in the state of Tennessee.

TSPN’s continued

success is due in large part to volunteers willing to donate their time and

energy.

If you would like to volunteer with TSPN, please

call (615) 297-1077 or e-mail tspn@tspn.org.

Pictured from top to bottom: lived experience activists Taryn Aiken, Shelby Rowe, Jessica Caudle, and Misha Kessler (photos courtesy U.S. News and World Report).

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An engaging speaker, Rowe describes what she calls her "emotional burlesque" as a fine balancing act. "I want to share personal details of my private struggles to give an intimate view of my experience, while at the same time I keep certain details private so that I don't feel emotionally naked," she says. While not minimizing, she says she doesn't share anything publicly that she wouldn't feel comfortable sharing with her sons over the dinner table. "I've heard it said that exposure is the antidote to prejudice, and I believe that," Rowe says. "So I choose to expose myself by sharing my story, in the hopes that I can shape the conversation around suicide." Finding Her Voice Suicide survivors share their stories many ways. Live Through This, (http://livethroughthis.org), an online project, lets viewers click on the image of a survivor revealing his or her experience. "Out of the Darkness" community and campus walks provide forums to speak up in person. For a long time, Jessica Caudle, 33, kept quiet about suicide in her life—her father's death and her own issues. In 2013, she learned about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and took her first AFSP-sponsored campus walk. "It was very refreshing to me, and heartbreaking at the same time, to see how many lives have been impacted," she says. Simply wearing a T-shirt from the event later prompted three people to approach her and reveal they'd lost someone to suicide, too. Somehow, Caudle, a self-described introvert, gradually morphed from audience member to an event organizer and speaker. At first, speaking out was "terrifying," she says, but worth it. "I feel like I've grown a little bit more each time I was willing to step into those positions," she says. Caudle recently created an online presentation (http://bit.ly/1MYcHVQ) to let others know they're not alone. Making an Impact Misha Kessler, 24, enjoys public speaking, using skills he learned as a student at a Jesuit high school in Cincinnati. He never expected that a few years later, he'd be facing audiences as a suicide survivor, describing his mental health struggles while in college. "I initially came out on Facebook about my suicide attempts," Kessler says. "It was very motivating, because the amount of positive responses I got was just unbelievable – between people commenting on the Facebook status about how grateful they were for having me as a friend and that I didn't actually die." His revelation made much more of an impact than he'd expected. People have opened up about their own mental health issues, from being suicidal to depression to bipolar disorder. "I ended up getting hundreds and hundreds of messages," he says. Kessler has since been a student spokesperson with The Jed Foundation, a nonprofit focused on mental health and suicide prevention in young adults, and he worked with the American Association of Suicidology among a host of other organizations and initiatives. Deglamorizing Suicide The flip side of stigma is when suicide is romanticized, potentially making it appear attractive to troubled, impressionable minds. Hearing survivors describe the harsh reality of long struggles with depression, PTSD, child abuse, addiction, hospitalizations and self-loathing – or hearing from a family member devastated by loss – strips suicide of any shred of glamour.

Coming Out as a Suicide Survivor (continued)

can you hear me? december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

(continued on page 3)

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The messenger is important. As a general rule, celebrities don't make much of an impact on people with mental health issues, says Dr. Dan Reidenberg, executive director of Suicide Awareness Voices of Education and managing director of the National Council for Suicide Prevention. However, someone like Demi Lovato, for example, who has spoken about having suicidal thoughts as a child, is considered more credible. Dr. Victor Schwartz, medical director of The Jed Foundation, says his group and others work with survivors on safe messaging for the public. "[Hearing from] someone who has gotten help and is doing well, when the message is crafted in a positive way—that help is there and it makes a difference—lowers the risk," he says. "And we have good data around that." Feedback After Aiken speaks in public, people often approach her with their own stories. One young woman who'd just lost her boyfriend in a car accident talked to Aiken at length but didn't confide further. "A few days later I got a Facebook message from her," Aiken recalls. "It said, 'I just wanted you to know that I have been contemplating suicide. After hearing you speak, I told my mom I was going to try and get into a counselor.'"

can you hear me? december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

Waking up when it’s not your intention A bad dilemma to find yourself indeed. Not the proposed plan and not prepared For what lies ahead. What to do, what to do? Now, too much attention for all the wrong reasons Leaves me feeling angry, frustrated and full of guilt. This was not what I intended the result to be What to Do, what to do? Maybe I didn’t really think it through entirely More problems now than before this event So many tears and sorrowful faces to see. What to do, what to do? Sorry doesn’t get it, no words of remorse only shame My intention to awaken in a blissful state was dashed Now I am left with the reality, rehab and pain. What to do, what to do? Gloria Gorss December 2013

Waking Up When It’s Not Your Intention

Coming Out as a Suicide Survivor (continued)

Anonymously submitted to OK2TALK.org, a blog managed by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Check out this blog for more posts about living with and past mental illness. 1) I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. 2) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place, but, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. 3) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in…it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. 4) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 5) I walk down another street.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

4

can you hear me? december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

On November 12, Your Heart on Art, Inc., held a reception at Barnes & Noble Vanderbilt to honor contributors to “Inside the Darkness”, a masking project

that depicts the experiences of survivors of suicide attempts and/or ideation. About 75 people gathered in the second floor lobby outside the store, where the masks were displayed, to hear remarks from YHOA founder/CEO Eileen

Wallach (below, with microphone), view the exhibit, and share their experiences with one another.

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Suicide Anonymous (SA) is a self-help program based on the model of Alcoholics Anonymous. It provides a safe environment for people to share their struggles with suicide and to develop strategies for recovery from suicidal preoccupation and behavior. Suicidal people do not have safe places to talk honestly about their struggles with suicide. The stigma towards suicide pervades every segment of our society, including religious organizations and even the mental health field. SA, therefore, exists to offer a support system for survivors, to make a distinction between the suicide attempt and the person involved, to cast off the societal stigma that too often plagues the survivor, and to develop strategies for mutual support and healing. During each meeting, a chairperson presents topics and members share their experiences or simply listen. Members also provide updates about how they are dealing with their suicidal impulses. Talking openly about suicide with people who understand the problem lessens the shame and stigma, combats isolation, and shows that it is safe to reach out for support in a crisis. In sharing their stories, members overcome the shame and stigma of a life of struggle with suicide. Meanwhile, listeners identify with the story or break through denial of the extent of their own struggles. New participants pick experienced members to guide them through the Twelve Steps model. They also exchange phone numbers with group members as a resource for crises between meetings. Members learn to reach out to fellow members for support in a suicidal crisis. They also get to experience the other end of a suicide crisis. Members also select bottom-line behaviors for themselves. These are component behaviors of suicidality like hoarding pills, suicidal fantasies, compulsively driving through cemeteries, etc.. Members commit to stop bottom-line behaviors one day at a time , and these behaviors may change with progress in recovery.

The SA website suicideanonymous.net features information on groups outside Tennessee with Skype/phone capability. The site also offers the full text of the Little Book, the guiding document of Suicide Anonymous, which discusses the problem of suicide addiction from the viewpoint of the person affected. Interested parties may also contact the group directly at info@suicideanonymous.net or (901) 654-7673.

Suicide Anonymous

can you hear me? december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

Meeting times in Tennessee Skype /phone available

Every Sunday, 6:30 PM Central / 7:30 PM Eastern Room 223, Hope Presbyterian Church 8500 Walnut Grove Road Cordova, TN 38018

Yes (e-mail suicide.anonymous0811@gmail.com one hour prior to meeting start)

Every Thursday, 5:30 PM Central / 6:30 PM Eastern Psychological Trauma & Wellness Center 5158 Stage Road, Suite 120 Memphis, TN 38134

No

Third Tuesday, 6 PM Central / 7 PM Eastern Room 111, Cornerstone of Recovery 4726 Alcoa Highway Louisville, TN 37777

No

“can you hear me?” wants your articles, poetry, prose, and artwork for the next issue and the ones to come. We’ll also need suggestions and recommendations on how we can make it better.

If there’s a piece you want to submit to the newsletter, send it to tspn@tspn.org with the subject line

“CYMH Submission”.

Feedback and suggestions can also be sent to this address with the subject line “CYHM Feedback”.

6

Need Help Right Now?

Feelings of hopelessness, feeling trapped, feeling like a burden to others, increased alcohol or drug consumption, sleeping too little or too much, and

withdrawing or feeling isolated from others are signs that you or a loved one may need help now.

If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal, please seek help immediately. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or visit

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

can you hear me? december 2015 - january 2016 issue 14

This map of crisis response teams and facilities is provided to TSPN courtesy of Melissa Sparks, Director of the Office of Crisis Services and Suicide Prevention within the Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse’s Division of Mental Health Services. More information about these facilities is available from Ms. Sparks at (615) 253-4641 or melissa.sparks@tn.gov.

Crisis Resources in Your Area