Bruin Leadership Training I

What is a peer helper/leader?

A peer helper is someone who:

• Listens• Shows that we care• Demonstrates understanding• Is empathetic• Shares experiences

Five Essential Helping Skills of a Peer Helper

• Being Accepting• Being Nonjudgmental• Being understanding• Being Genuine• Being Trustworthy

Being accepting

• To be with and understand someone else, even when they are different from us.

• Always be warm and friendly

Being Nonjudgmental

• This means that you should never say something was good or bad, right or wrong.

• Do not blame, criticize or act shocked at what we hear from other people.

Being Understanding

• Look at all points of view.• Recognize the other person’s thoughts and

feelings.

Being Genuine

• Be the real you.• Act natural not phony.

Being Trustworthy

• Do not tell those things that were told to you in private.

Limits

• Things you cannot keep confidential:– When someone tells you that he/she is thinking

about or planning a suicide.– If someone tells you they are planning to hurt

someone else.– If someone tells you they have been the victim of

physical or sexual abuse.

Group Activity

• Tell which skill is not being used…1. You shouldn’t have done that; you should have

told the teacher.2. Guess what Susan told me today while I was

helping her with a problem.3. I don’t want to help her, she is weird.4. Really, I know you have a problem, but my point

of view is the right one.

Roadblocks to Helping!!

• Advising-Telling others what they should or shouldn’t do.

• Judging-Telling others what they did or what they think is good or bad, or right or wrong.

• Interpreting—Telling others the reason why they did something or why they feel the way they do.

• Warning—Telling others what bad thing will happen to them if they act a certain way.

• Denying Feelings—Telling others they shouldn’t feel the way they do.

• Sympathizing—Telling others that you feel sorry or bad for them, or that what happened to them was terrible.

• Changing the subject—Causing others to talk about something else other than their problems.

Reasons for not giving advice!

• It keeps others dependent on us to solve their problems rather than helping them learn to solve problems on their own.

• It usually stops the helping process because it causes people to feel that are trying to control them.

• If advice is taken and it turns out to be a disaster, we are responsible.

Hidden Messages in Roadblocks

• Advising—Makes the person think they are not smart enough.

• Judging—Makes the person feel guilty

• Interpreting—Makes the person feel they are too stupid to know what was going on.

• Warning—Makes the person think they are too stupid to know what is going to happen.

• Denying Feelings—Makes the person feel like what is inside of them is a mistake and they feel confused and alone.

• Sympathizing—It makes the person feel weak and helpless.

• Changing the Subject—I do not care enough about you to listen to your problems.

Listening Skills

• Attending is the way we use our bodies to show others that we are listening to them.– You should• Squarely face the person you are helping• Maintain good eye contact• Keep an open posture—arms not folded.• Lean slightly toward the person• Use occasional nodding of the head and “mm-hmmmms.

Focused Listening

• Focused Listening is listening to understand the person’s message and the feeling behind the message.

• It is:– Listening more than talking– Letting the person finish his or her sentences– Listening with thinking about what you want to

say next

Respect

• Respect means to value or regard the worth of people and things and to treat them with consideration, care and concern.

List What Respect Looks Like

List What Disrespect Looks Like

Think about Respect

• Having respect for yourself and others is vital to the way you choose to live your life, as well as how you interact with your friends, family members, and teachers.

• When people respect themselves, they will not destroy their minds or bodies with drugs or engage in any other risk-taking behavior.

• When people respect each other, there are less conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings.

• Fundamental respect for all people is shown when we:

• Avoid violent verbal or physical behavior.

• Interact with consideration of others’ needs. • Accept that people are unique and have

different beliefs and values.

The following is a list of some of the common forms of disrespect that are widespread within our society.

• Verbal disrespect includes not saying “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me”; cursing; name-calling; teasing; bullying; threatening to hurt someone; and sarcasm.

• Physical disrespect includes assault with a weapon, hitting, pushing or kicking as well as touching someone’s body inappropriately.

• Self disrespect includes not taking care of yourself by not keeping yourself clean, abusing alcohol, experimenting with drugs, and even dressing and acting inappropriately.

• Disrespect for the environment includes littering, polluting and harming animals and plants.

• Disrespect for property includes stealing, and defacing property as in the case of graffiti.

• Other forms of disrespect include rude or vulgar gestures and inappropriate public behavior such as playing songs with vulgar language in a public place.

Respect Activity

• Get with a partner and discuss the following:– What are some ways to show respect to yourself

and other?

– Discuss a situation when somebody has shown respect to you in the last month.

– Write down three ways of how showing respect will make our school better.

Our role as Bruin Leaders within the school

• Peer mentoring– Sign up for homeroom/find a partner– Homeroom period every Tuesday and Friday

• Address problems identified in climate survey– Nov-Dec. Getting to Know You and Respect– Jan-Feb Anti-bullying/harrassment– March/April Drug/Alcohol/Tobacco Use– April/May Self Motivation/Do your best theme

• Help with other functions within the school• Peer Tutoring after school

• What are some other functions you can think of which might help?

Rules and Regulations

• Must attend training sessions-Approx. 15 hours• Work with freshman homerooms for 25 hours

this school year. One hour is earned for every two homeroom visits.

• Must volunteer at the school at least 10 additional hours.

• The Junior with the most hours will be given special recognition.

• Total hours junior year—50 Hours

Senior Year

• Must Attend 25 hours of training.• Work with your sophomore homerooms for 35

hours. One hour is earned for every two homeroom visits.

• Must volunteer at school events at least 15 additional hours.

• The senior with the most hours will be given special recognition.

• Total Senior Hours: 85 hours

What is in it for me?

• Opportunity to earn community service hours for scholarships

• Graduate with a Leadership Cord• Self Satisfaction that you have made a

difference in Brooke High School• Life-long friends• Helping others is a way to increase self-

esteem.

• Necessary Paperwork– Bruin Leader Pledge– Time Sheets

• Nov/Dec Plan– Week of Nov. 12th- Getting to Know You Activities– Week of Nov. 26th - Dec. 21 Respect Activities– Next Training Session:• Saturday, Dec. 1st or After School Monday, Dec. 3rd