Basics of Conflict Basics of Conflict ManagementManagement

CRETE Day 2 TrainingCRETE Day 2 Training

Tricia S. Jones, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychological Studies in Tricia S. Jones, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychological Studies in EducationEducation

e-mail: e-mail: tsjones@temple.edutsjones@temple.edu

Critical Tools for Constructive Critical Tools for Constructive ClassroomsClassrooms

Understanding Needs Based Understanding Needs Based ConflictConflict

Positive DisciplinePositive Discipline Conflict StylesConflict Styles Collaborative NegotiationCollaborative Negotiation

Basic NeedsBasic Needs

Love and BelongingLove and Belonging PowerPower FreedomFreedom FunFun SafetySafety

The Nature of ConflictThe Nature of Conflict

Conflict is “a disagreement Conflict is “a disagreement between two or more people between two or more people who have differences in goals or who have differences in goals or methods for dealing with a methods for dealing with a situation”situation” NormalNormal NaturalNatural NecessaryNecessary

Functional and Dysfunctional Functional and Dysfunctional ConflictConflict Functional Functional

(helpful or (helpful or constructive)constructive) OpenOpen HonestHonest CalmCalm FocusedFocused FlexibleFlexible EnergizingEnergizing Creative Creative

Dysfunctional Dysfunctional (not helpful or (not helpful or destructive)destructive) ClosedClosed DeceitfulDeceitful TenseTense ProliferationProliferation RigidRigid DrainingDraining Stupifying Stupifying

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

Conflict styles are the predominant Conflict styles are the predominant ways that people deal with conflict.ways that people deal with conflict.

Most people rely on one or two Most people rely on one or two styles that are often defined by styles that are often defined by emphasis on concern for the self or emphasis on concern for the self or concern for the other.concern for the other.

The goal of an effective conflict The goal of an effective conflict manager is to be able to use any manager is to be able to use any conflict style when the situation conflict style when the situation demands.demands.

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

Five Styles of ConflictFive Styles of ConflictCompeting

Compromising

Avoiding Accommodating

Collaborating

Concern for Other

Concern for Self

Thomas and Kilmann’s stylesThomas and Kilmann’s styles

Avoiding: Avoidance can be Avoiding: Avoidance can be either physical and/or either physical and/or psychologicalpsychological

Accommodating: meeting the Accommodating: meeting the needs of the other person but needs of the other person but ignoring your own needs. ignoring your own needs.

Thomas and Kilmann’s stylesThomas and Kilmann’s styles

Competing: a win-lose Competing: a win-lose orientation in which you try to orientation in which you try to maximize your gainsmaximize your gains

Compromising: “Split the Compromising: “Split the Difference” Difference”

Collaborating: Problem-solving Collaborating: Problem-solving style in which the parties work style in which the parties work together against the problem.together against the problem.

When Each Style is the BestWhen Each Style is the Best

AvoidingAvoiding When the issue is trivial to youWhen the issue is trivial to you When there is no long-term relationshipWhen there is no long-term relationship When you are the low power party in a When you are the low power party in a

serious power imbalanceserious power imbalance CompetingCompeting

When the other will be very competitiveWhen the other will be very competitive When important others expect you to When important others expect you to

competecompete AND when the stakes are highAND when the stakes are high

When Each Style is the BestWhen Each Style is the Best

AccommodatingAccommodating When the issue is trivial to youWhen the issue is trivial to you When harmony in the relationship is all When harmony in the relationship is all

importantimportant When you are the low power party in a serious When you are the low power party in a serious

power imbalancepower imbalance When you want to build trust in the other by When you want to build trust in the other by

demonstrating a protection of their interestsdemonstrating a protection of their interests CompromisingCompromising

When there are truly finite resourcesWhen there are truly finite resources When there are no means to increase the When there are no means to increase the

divisible resourcesdivisible resources

When Each Style is the BestWhen Each Style is the Best

CollaboratingCollaborating When the issue is complex and When the issue is complex and

requires creativityrequires creativity When there is a long-term When there is a long-term

relationshiprelationship When their implementation of the When their implementation of the

decision is necessarydecision is necessary

Principled NegotiationPrincipled Negotiation

Scholars from the Harvard Scholars from the Harvard Negotiation Project have Negotiation Project have suggested ways of dealing with suggested ways of dealing with negotiation from a cooperative negotiation from a cooperative and interest-based perspective. and interest-based perspective. They call this approach They call this approach “principled negotiation” because “principled negotiation” because it rests on four assumptions or it rests on four assumptions or principles.principles.

Separate the People From Separate the People From the Problemthe Problem

As you identify the problem, As you identify the problem, make sure you can distinguish make sure you can distinguish between the issues to be solved between the issues to be solved and the people involved. Try to:and the people involved. Try to: understand their perceptionsunderstand their perceptions monitor their emotionsmonitor their emotions communicate effectivelycommunicate effectively

Focus on Interests NOT Focus on Interests NOT PositionsPositions A position is a tangible outcome that A position is a tangible outcome that

someone argues for. An interest is someone argues for. An interest is the reason why that outcome is the reason why that outcome is desired and an underlying concern desired and an underlying concern about the problem. about the problem.

there are usually multiple interests for any there are usually multiple interests for any issueissue

you don’t have to have common interests to you don’t have to have common interests to find a solution that meets them allfind a solution that meets them all

the more you understand your interests and the more you understand your interests and the other party’s interests, the better able the other party’s interests, the better able you are to find a solution or solutions that will you are to find a solution or solutions that will produce mutual and lasting satisfaction.produce mutual and lasting satisfaction.

Invent Options for Mutual Invent Options for Mutual Gain - BrainstormGain - Brainstorm This is a process of creating as This is a process of creating as

many solutions as possible BEFORE many solutions as possible BEFORE you evaluate them to decide which you evaluate them to decide which are the best options.are the best options.

Otherwise, good ideas never have a Otherwise, good ideas never have a chance to be suggested and chance to be suggested and discussed because people are too discussed because people are too busy arguing over the first ideas busy arguing over the first ideas introduced.introduced.

Find Good CriteriaFind Good Criteria

Choosing a good solution or Choosing a good solution or solutions (remember you can have solutions (remember you can have more than one), depends on making more than one), depends on making sure that the criteria for solutions are sure that the criteria for solutions are considered legitimate by the parties. considered legitimate by the parties. The criteria come fromThe criteria come from interests already identified by the interests already identified by the

parties, especially common interests parties, especially common interests shared by all partiesshared by all parties

external rules or policies that must be external rules or policies that must be followedfollowed