Assertiveness

Recap

• Assertiveness Profile Quiz

• Using Non-Verbal strategies (body language)

• Neuro-linguistic strategies (positive use of language)

Adults in the school or college

• Managing situations:• Emergencies• Disciplinary situations• First Aid supervision/coordination• Drills

• Role model:• Safeguarding students• Human face of the school or college• Greater interaction

DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR“Behaviour to protect oneself from a

perceived threat or attack.” Freud

– passive: to shut down or withdraw – aggressive: verbally or physically attack or

judge and blame another – manipulative: unscrupulous control of a

situation or person– assertive: establish clear boundaries and

express what is wanted or needed

Assertiveness

DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR Non verbal:

Passive Forms: crossed arms and/or legs (closed or shut down posture), rolling the eyes, shaking the head, frowning, flushed face, refusing to speak, fidgeting, turning away, looking away, walking away.Aggressive Forms: slamming doors, leaning forward and glaring, pounding a fist, throwing something.

Verbal:Passive forms: Quiet tones, softly spoken, hesitant, frequent pausing, starting sentences with ‘sorry’, throat clearing.Aggressive Forms: attacking back, denying, raising voice tone, interrupting, dominating, repeating, swearing and name-calling, arguing, justifying, and rationalizing.

“Aggressive behaviour is when you stand up for your rights that ignore or dismiss the rights of others.”

“Non assertion is when you don’t stand up for your rights or you make it easy for others to ignore them.”

ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

Assertiveness

To stand up for your rights, needs and beliefs in ways that take account of those of others

My rights...and everyone else’sI have the right to express my views, and so

do othersI have the right to say noI have the right to be treated with respectI have the right to be listened toOthers...have the right to support from meTo be listened toTo decline responsibility for my problemsTo an explanationHave the right to make mistakes and be

responsible for them.

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Mars and Venus

• Behaviour by gender is influenced by the socialisation process. • We learn society's norms about how males

and females look and act.

Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion Technique

–de-personalise the situation–show an element of understanding–offer a solution

Things that help

• Stick to the facts, not opinions• Use constructive criticism and problem-solving

phrases• Tell students what they should be doing• Remind

Opportunities to practice using ‘Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion’ technique

• Smoking in a non-smoking area (college)• Noisy in common areas

Three steps - smoking

Fact:•This is a non-smoking areaSympathy: •I realise you may be short of time/it’s raining Suggestion: •You must either put out the cigarette or move to the smoking area

Three steps – noise levels

Fact:•This is a quiet areaSympathy: •I realise you are having funSuggestion: •You must either speak in whispers or go to the canteen/outside

The Do’s and Don’ts that helpMaking a requestDo:•Be direct and to the point•Give a reason for the request•Respect the other person’s right to say no

Don’t•Apologise•Justify yourself•Sell the request with flattery•Take advantage of people’s good nature•Take refusal personally

The Do’s and Don’ts that help

Saying NoDo:•Keep the reply brief and avoid rambling•Give a reason•Be honest about limitations/possibilities•Ask for more time to consider the request•Acknowledge the requester

Don’t•Keep apologising•Feel guilty for saying no•Invent excuses