1issue 001 nov 2015

LYNDA NYANGWESOOSIROTALKS ABOUT HER WEDDING DAY

EXCLUSIVE

KENYAN WEDDING VENDOR INFORMATION ALL IN ONE PLACE.

arusiguru.com

WEDDING HAIRMANENOS

PLUS

I LOVE HAIR, MINE & OTHER PEOPLES

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MAKEUP by RUTHIE

Every bride wants to look and feel like a princess on her big day and therefore we work to ensure that we provide the highest quality products and highly skilled makeup

artists.

I use only the highest quality professional products which are developed to look equally impressive in real life and in

photographs.

arusiguru.com/weddings/makeup-by-ruthie

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Are you in the wedding business or are you stressed out planning

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ARUSI GURU CONTENTSseptember 2015

09 - SUIT & TIE

28 - | ALL ABOUT ELANI30 | REAL LIFE WEDDINGS

64 - THE MORNING AFTER

LET THEM EAT CAKE

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LYNDA NYANGWESO OSIRO TALKS ABOUT HER

WEDDING DAY

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HOW TO BUY WEDDING SHOES YOU WILL WEAR AGAIN

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hen we hear the word marriage, we think money, money, money.

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56 | Cover Shoot60 | 9 Wedding Songs to walk down the Isle to

68 | Lesson from a Broken Engagement72 | How to Get Engaged 101

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EDITORS NOTE

"Congratulations on your engagement! You’ve found the love of your life, and now the excitement of planning what may be the most important day of your life is upon you. Planning a wedding should be a wonderful experience for the Bride AND Groom, however during this time of anticipation and expectation, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the mul-titude of projects involved with planning your wedding. The Arusi Guru magazine will bring you a pool of resources, cre-ative ideas, save you time and money and introduce you to the right professional and creative wedding vendors to make your big day flow smoothly. Within these pages, you’ll find the inspiration, advice and vendors to pull off a gorgeous and personally meaningful wedding. Please check out our wedding vendor platform at www.arusiguru.com for a complete list of the best local wedding vendors.Re-member we love to hear from our readers and would love to feature your wedding in our magazine! You can email me at

info@arusiguru.com

Happily Ever After,

Lily Nguru.

Special Thanks :

Saiton Righa- Editor-in-ChiefAngeline - Managing EditorZack Adell - Layout Design

COVER CREDITS

GOWN THE PERFECT BRIDE

MAKE UP ARTIST 1 MAKE UP BY RUTHIE

HAIR CHIC TRESSES

PHOTOGRAPHERWRAGGZ PHOTOGRAPHY

MODEL NJERI RIITHO

MAKE UP ARTIST 2 KALUMU MAKE UP

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The Stylist:

WEDDING HAIR MANENOSI love hair, mine and other peoples. This love has brought me to this place where I style

hair for people on one of the most important days of their lives. Their Wedding Day. Now, I am not a veteran, but in the few months I’ve been doing this I’ve learnt a couple of les-

sons and I’d like to share them with every bride looking to rock fabulous hair at a wedding and every stylist who wants to do an amazing job!

WORDS : WACHU WANJARIA

Your choice of stylist will be determined by the style you want for the grand occasion. You may choose your long-term hairdresser who knows the in’s and out of your hair or depend on referrals from family and friends. Sometimes you find your

stylist on social media. You see a style you like, you inbox, DM the person, ask them who did their hair, beg them for the stylists number and then get in touch.

Beauty | Arusi Guru Magazine

MODEL: SHEILA NDINDA, PHOTOGRAPHY: BUOART

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The Style:

Payments:

Cancellation Policy:

The Bride:

The Stylist:

D-DAY:When you get in touch with a stylist:

• Trust your gut, if you’re not feeling their vibe, run for the hills.

• Ask tonnes of questions/Expect a lot of questions.• Plan for a consultation/trial with the stylist

Cost for the style for the bride, bridesmaids’ and any oth-ers who want their hair done is pre- negotiated and paid on D-day. NO surprises. It helps to have a link person (not the bride) who will co-ordinate and make sure that everyone pays.

Depending on how much time you have before the wed-ding an ideal cancellation time from both parties would be a week. To allow the bride to find another stylist and to allow the stylist to take on new clients. In the event of emergencies, at the very least, 24 hours before never the night before or on the morning of the event. In such cases, if the stylist is cancelling, they should send a suitable replacement.

My favourite moment on D-Day is helping the Bride’s Moth-er put the veil over her daughter, I’m a hopeless romantic and this always brings tears to my eyes. I love love and wed-dings and a great hairdo makes everything so much better.

Wake up as early as you possibly can and take a shower. If your stylist is a professional, they will be there on time and you do not want to keep them waiting. Savor every moment. It is your special day, you should feel and look like a queen.

• Preparing the bride and her team is always exciting. It is important to get there on time. If for some reason you’re running late keep the bridal team informed, you don’t want to be the cause for foul moods or schedule delays. Dress comfortably, you will most likely be on your feet for a long time. Look good too, you will be in the wedding preparation pics and you don’t want to choma picha “ruin the photos”.

• Wear shoes that you can wear into the house, I learnt this the hard way, initially I used to take off my shoes, until my shoes disappeared….by the time the bride is leaving for the ceremony, the house will be full of rela-tives, and the housekeeper is charged with keeping the front of the house neat and tidy for the wagenis. In this instance, she confused my shoes with the owners shoes and tossed them in the store. So I keep my shoes on…Please allow me.

• Expect to style way more people than were on the orig-inal list. When you get a booking for a bridal party you always get a fixed number, but I’ve learnt to always expect more. The mother-of-the- bride may want her weave combed out, auntie nani will tell you “nataka un-ishike tu hapa” It is a day for family so I indulge every-one, at a small fee.

• Make everyone comfortable and make them feel special and beautiful. It goes a big way in keeping the wedding mood positive.

• Bring your A-game on, it’s a wedding for Pete’s sake.

It’s D-day, the day you’ve been waiting, planning, hoping for is finally here.

The first three questions help with logistics, the next ques-tions are more focused on the actual look. I’m a visual per-son so I’ll often ask for photos of your hair, the gown, veil accessories etc. When I ask for these photographs I am not prying I am just familiarizing myself with everything to get you to look your best on your wedding day. And no, I will not “leak” your wedding gown before D-Day.

This is the crux of the matter. I ask all potential clients loads of maswali ya polisi (questions) often in quick succession but with good reason.

1. What is the wedding date?2. Where will the preparations for the ceremony be done?3. What time do you need to be ready?4. Do you have a style in mind?5. Would you please send me pics of your hair?6. What type of gown/dress are you wearing?7. Are you wearing a veil/fascinator/hair accessories?8. If your hair is natural are you comfortable using gel or

heat? (I love working with Naturalista brides)9. If you’re wearing braids, what color, length, thickness.10. If you want to wear a weave; length, color, is it human

hair? (I personally won’t touch human hair)

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Style /Fashion | Arusi Guru Magazine

SUIT & TIESo you sweated it out, you asked the girl out, gained her approval (or righteous in-dignation) of her family and friends, you’ve begged, borrowed, stolen & ultimately saved enough for a ring that you deem worthy of your belle and after lots of crying, pleading and rending of clothes, she said “YES”, she’s agreed to marry you. What next?

Well, it doesn’t end there, you quickly realize that you need a wedding date and that this BIG DAY isn’t actually your day. It’s the culmination of everything her & her family have been waiting for. Your part in all this? Well, seeing as marriage is the union of 2 persons (and families), that’s where you stepped in. You thought you were Neo, but turns out you’re just the Architect, there to provide rambling commentary to go with the cool action scenes that will be her fabulous wedding.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who’s fallen into that misguided belief. For as long as there is a man about to pro-pose to his special lady, there is someone to add to that in-nocuous list of men who thought you were the One. Just like at the Oscars, there is only ever ONE best actor nominee from a movie.

WORDS : THE SUIT

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Joker, but the next question then becomes what’s your bud-get? And what “color scheme” has the missus-to-be actually chosen for the day? There will be many things you find your-self surrendering your will to, like the color of the flowers or the floral patterns, but one part where you can reassert yourself is in how you will look on the day.

That is what that long, rambling introduction has led us to. What will you be dressed in on your wedding day? We’ll look at a few things one should consider before they make a decision on their D-Day attire.

1. SUIT AND TIE

There are a myriad of themes and outfits that weddings can be designed around. From the Asian influenced saris to Afro wear. This will be determined by the bride and groom.

2. TIME

Time is such an important commodity in the grand scheme of things. Having sufficient time before the wedding day can be the difference between settling for an expensive option because you don’t have the luxury of time and stumbling upon an inexpensive stroke of genius that means not only will you look good.

It becomes imperative that you plan well in advance so that you do have time to look and shop around for the most cost-effective option for you. As you go along panning the wedding and paying suppliers, this appreciation of time can save you lots of shillings.

3. THE GROOMSMEN

It is almost a given that your wedding will have a wedding lineup that includes a motley crew of groomsmen. The role of the groomsmen will include looking good for the photo albums and while this might sound easy enough, it needs to be achieved at the best cost possible.

The tradition in Kenyan weddings is for the groomsmen to pay for their own suits after they accept to be groomsmen. This means not only looking for the most cost effective op-tion for everyone’s attire, but also being open and listening to the groomsmen when they mention what they are all able to afford. When they don’t speak up about it, it’s a mark of good friendship to pay attention to the silent cues on this. It’s likely that your groomsmen will be your friends, no need to leave them in a lurch for your wedding day.

4. COST

For many guys, the wedding will tend to be their biggest project to date, incorporating relationship building (with the families, suppliers et al), project management and most importantly cost management. While the groom’s suit might find itself lower on the list of priorities as you build up to the day, it’s still a cost that will be incurred and as we’d men-tioned earlier on time.

For a long time, men in Nairobi didn’t hire/rent suits. There was a dearth of suit rentals and most rental options tended to focus on tuxedos. That has changed in the recent years. and there is a large selection of shops, exhibition stalls and even supermarkets offering a wide range of suits.

Tailoring suits used to be the preserve of the high and mighty but material costs have fallen in the last few years and the competition among tailors is rich and has led to good pric-ing for their services.

5. FIT

Finally, whatever you pick for the D-Day, make sure it’s a comfortable fit for your frame and that you feel comfortable sitting, standing and moving around in it. On the wedding day, you’ll be very active. Dancing, moving around greeting family and friends and so on. It’s imperative that your attire is so comfortable as to not get in the way of your enjoyment.The build up to the wedding day is considered to be a large-ly stressful ordeal but ultimately, everything comes together quite nicely. The other awesome thing is that just as there is always a beautiful bride, there is also a dashing groom. So relax, you’ll look good in whatever you pick. So go ahead and enjoy the day.

Style /Fashion | Arusi Guru Magazine

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ITIKADI FASHION

HOUSE

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THE LENS IS MY PAINT

BRUSH

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HOW TO BUY WEDDING SHOES YOU WILL WEAR AGAIN

How did you find the Shoes?I had traveled to the UK and had told one of my close friends, Vee Kakuba, that I was getting married and invited her for the wedding. Vee is a true shoe aficionado and her present to me was wedding shoes. So one fine day during my visit, she took me to Selfridges and we found these beauties at the Jimmy Choo store. Love you Vee :-)

What drew you to the shoes? If you have ever watched Sex and the City, it was definitely a dream to own and walk down the aisle in Jimmy Choos.

How did you choose these ones over the hun-dreds I’m sure you saw? The minute I saw them, I knew they were the ones as they had a very unique design and the color was in theme with the rest of my outfit. They were also only 3 and 1/2 inches tall which was perfect and had soft padding. Basically they were beautiful and comfortable. I could understand why people invest in designer shoes.

Were they comfortable for the entire day and did you keep them on( if not why and what were the back ups)?

Yes, they more than held up and I had a garden wedding! Amazing! For the evening I had already planned to change to cute glittery sandals as I knew that I was going to be shim-mying till morning for my evening party.

Have you worn them again and to what occa-sions? Yes I have and this is one of the reasons that I chose the shoes - they are lovely and versatile and can be worn for oth-er occasions. I wore them a few weeks after my wedding to jump the new year in style.

Any advice for brides choosing their wedding shoes? You will only get married once, get a shoe that you love and that is comfortable and can be worn beyond the Big Day. Whenever I wear my Jimmy Choo’s it brings a smile to my face. I think the same applies to men - my husband loved his Oliver Sweeney wedding shoes :-)

Style /Fashion | Arusi Guru Magazine

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Food | Arusi Guru Magazine

LET THEM EAT CAKE

The fruitcake remains the tried and true favourite for many couples particularly in the summer months when record numbers of weddings are held in Kenya. It holds up well so you don’t have to worry about the cream layers going sour in the heat and can be prepared way in advance. The fruitcake doesn’t deviate much from its recipe and once you’ve tasted one, you’ve really tasted them all.

The beauty about wedding cake is that while most weddings look similar, the bride will wear white, the groom will wear a suit, the garden wedding will have tents and drapery, the tables will be round or rectangular, the wedding cake can be your own, unique creation and match your wedding style. You could have different flavours for each tier of cake. This is a great way of giving your guests options, because not ev-eryone is as passionate about say black forest cake as you are.

Maybe you don’t want to have fifteen kilos of cake that you have to cut into and serve. You could opt for having minia-ture wedding cake replicas at each table so that the guests can cut and serve their own cake. Your wedding cake can also take on many shapes and forms. Mix round tiers with square ones for some pizzazz. A favourite that I’ve seen at a couple of weddings is the lopsided tiered cake that just begs to be eaten.

Then there’s the groom’s cake. Tradition is that this is a per-sonal gift from the bride to the groom, both cakes are cut at the reception but the groom’s cake is typically packed for the guests to take home. The groom’s cake will typically be more masculine, not floral or fanciful like the wedding cake and will reflect the groom’s interests or hobbies. So think of sports, games and other activities that excite your man and get it whipped into a sugary confectionery. What a sweet surprise for your newly minted husband to get him a special cake just for him!

Want something different from the traditional tiered wed-ding cake? You could opt for cupcakes, which can be as sim-ple and elegant as any tiered cake. Best thing about these is that they are just the right amount of cake per person and therefore quite easy to determine how much cake you’ll need based on your guest list.

Another fun idea with cupcakes is getting your guests to build their own cupcakes by setting up a cupcake decorating station. All you do is provide the basic cupcake in one or two flavours (or however many you like) then provide top-pings that guests will generously add to their cupcake. From whipped creams, cookie crumbles, sprinkles, fresh fruit, frosting are just some of the toppings you could try out.

Some people don’t like cake though and think that wedding cake is overrated. If you fall in this category and not worried about what your mothers will think, there are sweet alterna-tives you could try. You could set up a table with different fruit pies, here too), ice cream would be especially nice for those summer days with sorbets options available for those who can’t have dairy. The list is not exhaustive by any means. If you want to try it and your budget allows it, then you should have your cake (or alternative) and eat it too. Happy Wedding Day!

It doesn’t matter how much food and drink you serve at your wedding, everyone, no matter how stuffed to the brim they are, al-ways has room for the wedding cake. The cake is the ultimate sweet centerpiece at your reception.

WORDS : SOPHIE GITONGA

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Interviews | Arusi Guru Magazine

LYNDA NYANGWESO OSIROTALKS ABOUT HER WEDDING DAY

How did the two of you meet?To be honest, neither of us were “looking” for each other. I love our story because it just felt so natural. I’d just turned 21 and was feeling so grown up. I was cast in a musical at Phoenix players and he was hired as the band’s drummer.I kept calling him the wrong name and he never corrected me. He’d wait for me after I locked up every night and finally one afternoon we sat at a chips and chicken joint, both broker than broke, we shared a sausage roll and sat there talking for six hours… and here we are 6 years later as Mr and Mrs Osiro.

What was the proposal like? hahaha what proposal?? I’m not the easiest to surprise so I messed it up so he ended up super dressed up and angry in my kitchen with me in pyjamas. He said I can’t believe this is gonna be my life forever. Then he gave me a “wait until I get money” ring and we called it marktiming!

What is your favourite thing to do together?Road trips, sitting and doing nothing together and cooking. Well I cook and he talks unless it’s chapos,he’s the master chapati creator!

WORDS : SAITON RIGHA

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What was the wedding planning process like? Honestly, it was God who got us through it. We changed the date thrice due to job losses,money issues, illness, weather, heck,you name it, it happened! Then finally,everything fell into place and it took us three months to plan the whole wedding

What were your anxiet-ies in the days leading up to the wedding? Rain, snow,freak tornadoes sweeping in and carrying away the whole venue! The food running out.everyone getting explosive diarrhoea from the food, Lance not showing up-,my dress not fitting, falling flat on my face while walking down the aisle, you name it,I had anxiety about it! Obviously I’m an over thinker and I expected everything to go wrong, but once I got up on June 26th,even though my brother was MIA, my father’s flight was delayed, my sister couldn’t make it and I had a zit the size of Zimbabwe,I was calm.

What were your favou-rite parts of the entire process?

1. Right before I went downstairs, my mom looked at me and in that moment I felt so breathtakingly beau-tiful.

2. Before I came out of the car, Lance snuck to the back to make sure I was there, he looked so handsome and it made me realize he was as nervous and excited as I was.

3. The vows….definitely my favourite part. I choked with tears halfway through and we had to start again but the vows. They were EVERYTHING! Lance standing there, vulnerable before everyone declar-ing his forever to me. I can’t put it in words.just...the vows, the best part of the day.

4. Everyone dancing and I mean everyone! We felt so surrounded with love!

5. Even though she couldn’t be there, my sister and best maid had the most amazing letter read by my cousin and was there the whole time via Skype and I cried like a baby. It felt like she was there!

Tell us about the wed-ding, what are your fa-vourite memories from the day? All we wanted was every single guest to have fun so we made it as casual as possible. Luckily for our nearly non existent budget,casual was more affordable than we thought! Our coordinator for the day made everything seamless! We had a bar that kept flowing till the last guests left. A donut buffet thanks to Mr donut, amazing food as well. The decor was simple and perfect, the lighting for the evening reception set a romantic mood. All the crazy talented friends who came out and gifted us with performances performed,emceed and just set the tone! Our parents speeches, my sister,and best friend,Sharon couldn’t be there but she sent a letter that re-duced me to a wailing,sniffling mess! Thank God for water-proof mascara! So many amazing memories,I don’t think I have enough space to keep going!

What was your favourite menu item on the wed-ding day?The one thing everyone told us but we didn’t believe is you won’t get a chance to eat at your own wedding! Not because no one gives you a chance to but,honestly, you’re just too damn excited to and will probably end up at a kenchic a little after midnight in your wedding clothes! But our caterer did an amazing job! Everyone keeps talking about the chicken wings! ( I can vouch for that, we were taking turns at our table to go stand by the caterer)

What blew you away on the day that friends, fam-ily even suppliers did for you?We both always said that our marriage was more important than the wedding and frankly,the wedding wasn’t a medical emergency so we would only spend what we had and not ask for money.Honestly though, that was hard! Our parents gave as much as they could and relatives and friends gave without us feeling like beggars!

Interviews | Arusi Guru Magazine

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Cars were volunteered,flowers literally appeared from thin air.you’d be surprised how much people who love you both are willing to help! Special thanks from us as well to Chipu-keezy, Larry, H_art the Band and Elani.

You mentioned to me how people made re-marks about your weight in the run up to the wed-ding, did it affect you? How did you respond to that? I’ve never been skinny so it wasn’t something I thought about it. I knew I’d the prettiest fat bride ever. Then the com-ments started…. “ Are you planning on losing weight? You shouldn’t eat that, the camera adds 10 pounds! You’ll never find a dress!”

Quite honestly, it got to me! I had crazy dreams of never finding THE dress and showing up to my wedding in a leso!I was freaking out! Then I walked into the bridal place at titan house and met Jane, halfway in tears with my mother trying to calm me I described what I wanted and showed her my crazy pinterest board. Jane made me feel so comfortable and the first dress I tried on was exactly what I wanted!

Then I freaked out again because I thought the whole pro-cess was a little too easy. I expected fat girl wedding dress shopping to be as mortifying as far girl bikini shopping.Much later with mommy dearest, I went back and bought the first and last wedding dress I tried on! If there’s a plus size girl out there going through the same,remind yourself constantly that he chose you.and everyday after your big day, he’ll chose you, jiggly bits and all,even if you show up in a leso! I got married and I was the most the beautiful fat girl at the party just like I knew I’d be. It was the best day ever!

Now that you’re married :) (Congratulations!) In retrospect any words to couples planning?Plan with what you have, decide on what is a priority to both of you and stick to it. Get a wedding registry.

Break the rules a little! Both our mom’s were apprehensive about an afternoon wedding but it turned out fabulous! I woke up at 10am, had lunch,took my time and no one felt under pressure! Lance even got to go to the barber on the wedding day!

Any Suppliers you want to recommend? http://arusiguru.com/weddings/rubanipix- our amazing photographer

http://arusiguru.com/weddings/rosedale-gardens-kilimani the most beautiful venue

incredible sound engineer kibugi http://arusiguru.com/weddings/audio-design

Interviews | Arusi Guru Magazine

L I Q O R SM O B I L E B A R

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KALUMUmake-up

“I am passionate about what I do, whether it is a one on one consultation or making a whole bridal team look breath taking,I enjoy every bit of it and I take pride in projecting the inner beauty of my clients through the art of makeup.”

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Interviews | Arusi Guru Magazine

ELANIAll About

IT SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN AN ACTION PACKED YEAR FOR ELANI THIS YEAR. WHAT HAVE

BEEN THE HIGHLIGHTS? We have been working on new content as well as enhancing our skills both in vocals and dance. We were also

blessed to be a part of Coke Studio season 3 which will be live on Citizen TV from October.

WE LOVED THE SONG NIKU-PENDE, WHAT INSPIRED IT AND THE LYRIC VIDEO? As you know Elani is all about sharing love and we want-ed to start the year by sharing a love song with our fans. The song was inspired by the beautiful journey lovers go through to get to the wedding day. The lyric video was something new we wanted to share the innocence of love using cartoon.

WHAT WAS THE COKE STU-DIO EXPERIENCE LIKE AND WHAT DID YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT IT?

It was an amazing yet challenging experience. We en-joyed working with Chidinma and the challenge of mashing 2 songs into 1 stretched our skills.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS LOVE MOST ABOUT WEDDINGS? The genuine love expressed between the couple. African wedding also have the fun element of dance which spices things up.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR ELANI? More music, better performances and more exposure in the world.

WORDS : SAITON RIGHA

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ANDREW & TIFFANY NGATIA

Andrew is a Musician, Music Director and Teacher while Tiffany runs a Wedding Decor firm

Photo by Mwarv

Married Two Years

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Real Life Weddings | Arusi Guru Magazine

Q: What was the most important advice you have for a couple as they plan their big day?

A: Plan early if you can. Secure your service vendors early. The closer you are to your wedding date,the more expensive service vendors get. One last thing plan include plans for your 1-2 months of your marriage.

Q: As a groom what was one of the more difficult things to handle in the run up to the wedding?

A: I think planning our honeymoon was the toughest. That was my last task in the checklist. Unfortunately,I didn’t have ample time to really do good research.

Q: As a bride what was a difficult thing you went through/handled in the wedding planning process?

A: Getting the decor ready on time. since it was DIY. Though a challenge, it was certainly rewarding to see the final outcome.

Q: What were the most wonderful things for you on the day of the wed-ding?

A: We really enjoyed the photo sessions and the entertain-ment line up as well.

Q: Any marriage insights 1 year+ on?

A: Patience, Patience and Patience : ) Be patient with yourself and with your spouse. As we grow older,we gradu-ally realise that our likes and dislikes keep changing.

Q: Anything else you would like to share with couples?

A: For those who believe,continuously remind each oth-er that the marriage is a partnership of 3.God (as the Head of the relationship), husband and wife.

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MARCUS & NJERI OLANG Married One Year

Q: What was the most important advice you have for a couple as they plan their big day?

M: That, from me, would have be, “DON’T plan your big day!” Here’s what I mean: Many couples get so caught up in this one single day that they overlook what comes af-ter ‘the big day’. I’m talking about life beyond the wedding and honeymoon. The simple things are the ones that matter most when it comes to the wedding day, and these little things often relate to life together after the wedding. For in-stance: Have you paid 2 months’ rent for the months during and after your wedding? Have you agreed on who handles what bills – food, water, electricity, rent? It goes beyond money as well – and, I suggest, this is where marriages begin to fall apart: Have you agreed on who does what in your new home? Does he expect you to cook dinner every evening despite the fact that you arrive home well after he does? Does she expect date night every Friday despite the fact that you believe that spending every eve-ning together should be enough dating?

My take: Don’t plan your big day. It’s not that serious. You have your rings, your officiating pastor, your photos and each other. Everything else is a minute matter. Your family may demand food, but they can visit you after the wedding and you’ll have the most delicious plate of pilau laid out before them. End of the day, all that matters is the two of you, and those that choose to support and be around you regardless of whether the menu is a 3-course meal or biscuits and a glass of water.More important than ‘the big day’ is life after that day. Thereafter lie even bigger days. Plan THAT life. Have the difficult conversations now, or the difficult conversations you never had will transform themselves into a difficult life.

N: Listening to all the ideas from well meaning friends and family. Understanding it is JUST ONE day and treating it as that helped me grow and started our Family on the right path.

Q: As a groom what was one of the more difficult things to handle in the run up to the wedding?

M: I’m silent because I truly don’t have a clear-cut answer to that question. (chuckles) Nothing, really. I had my ring, a venue, an officiating pastor (thank you, Sam!), a photographer (thank you, Mwarv!), an amazing band (thank you Bethuel!), and the word of the friends and family I hold dear that they’d be there. That really is all that mattered. Everything else was a welcome bonus and there were plenty of such welcome bonuses!

Q: As a bride what was a difficult thing you went through/handled in the wedding planning process?

N: (hands over mic/pen/keyboard to Njeri)N:Planning the wedding for me was easy at first Listening to all the ideas from well meaning friends and family. Then it got irritating. Then people retracting what they had of-fered was sad and disappointing. But Marcus tried as much as possible to handle it. Then the support that flowed in was also so overwhelming I remember crying the day before my wedding, and walking home from South C. In the rain. Understanding it is JUST ONE day and treating it as that helped me grow and started our Family on the right path.

Real Life Weddings | Arusi Guru Magazine

Photo by Wamuyu Kiragu

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Q: What were the most wonderful things for you on the day of the wed-ding?

M&N: How the entire day turned out. I wouldn’t change anything if I had to do it again. Everything worked out precisely as it was meant to – for reasons I may not understand in the present moment, of course. It was simply fantastic. The morning started off cloudy and drizzly, and it opened out into a brilliant sunny afternoon. We asked friends to offer their services in good faith, and by the end of the ceremony, they had all been given their due in full. Family committed their all and more to making sure it all played out well. Overall, being surrounded by some of our dearest family and friends in song and dance was an aspect I wouldn’t trade for anything else.

Q: You chose to do your pho-to-shoot in the morning rather than in between the service and recep-tion or after the wedding as most couples do, what led you to decide this and what did you love about it?

M&N: Having the shoot in between service and reception is the most difficult thing to do, particularly when the choice of shoot location is different from the wedding venue. It’s messy. You find that many couples don’t take certain aspects into consideration. For instance, what if you encounter traffic? Have you factored your travel time into the one hour you’ve assigned to the photoshoot? Have you accounted for the fact that you may need to eat and freshen up before and after the shoot? We thought through all this, and figured it would be a lot easier to simply have the shoot as the first item in the morning, particularly as ours was an afternoon event. It was an easy call: We looked fresh, spry and bright-eyed for the photos – quite unlike what happens when the shoot is in-between, when everyone is hurried and harassed.

Q: Any marriage insights 1 year+ on?

M: I ask every groom I meet one simple question: “Are you sure?”

I’ll explain.I’d like to tell you that marriage is all sunshine, sex and sweet surprises. But that would be a lie. Don’t get me wrong: Marriage has some really gorgeous sunshine, bed-breaking sex (I’d know), and moments that make your heart melt. Yet it also has the gritty moments. Moments when the sun is blocked out by the clouds; when your heart is so aggrieved that you want nothing to do with your partner. These things happen – to everyone! It’s perfectly natural!

What matters most in such moments is how you act or respond. The manner in which you respond will either enhance or shatter your partner’s trust in you and in the relationship. The simplest code to use in such situations is this: Act in love. By “love” here, I mean the true love: The love that’s patient, kind, humble, cool-tempered, forgiving, truthful, protective, trusting, hopeful, persevering…

So whenever I speak to grooms, I ask them that one ques-tion: “Are you sure?” Are you sure you are ready to act in [true] love? If your answer to that is “Yes,” then you have a duty to respect your own word.

N: Forgive (Give first) and discover without being judgmental of your partner. It is a new phase and you get to know your spouse afresh. Be nice and kind.

Q: Anything else you would like to share with couples?

M: I’d like to clear up a misconception: Marriage will not meet every one of your expectations. When more and more of your expectations aren’t met, it’s easy to think that yours is the worst marriage in the world. Allow me to suggest to you: It really isn’t the worst in the world. It may get bad, but in those moments, take a step back and remind yourself what the good was like, why it was good, and what you did to make it good. Oftentimes, the key to getting out of a rut lies within those three questions. I say this not to dissuade you, but to keep you grounded. One doesn’t need advice for the good times – everyone is always good during the good times. It’s the tough times for which you need to be prepared. My hope is that through what I share, you’re grounded for the tough times.

A final note. A dear friend shared these words with me: “What you’re going through has been gone through and people have pulled through. You just need to really decide whether this is where you want to be.” Make that decision. Whatever you decide, act in a manner that’s in line with your decision. If you decide that the marriage /relationship is not for you, leave. Don’t make yours or anyone else’s life miserable with an unpleasant lien. But if you’ve chosen to be IN the marriage / relationship, make sure you act in a manner that ensures that both of you know you’re committed to each other, no matter what. That commitment right there? That’s love.

Love is not a feeling. Love is the daily decision you make to act in someone else’s best interests over your own.You just need to really decide whether this is where you want to be.”

N: Enjoy one another and the seasons no matter what happens. Date often and play together keeps you healthy and creates a team.

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The Perfect Location, For any Occasion

To Book, email us at rosedalegardenskilimani@gmail.com

or call Damaris on 0720 879727

Rose Avenue, Off Dennis Pritt Road – Kilimani.

Rosedale Gardens Kilimani

@rosedalegarden1

FacilitiesParking.

Clean Serviced Toilets.Security.

Back Up Generator.

Capacity400 – 500 Pax Seated Restaurant Style.

1000 Pax Seated Theatre Style.

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SLASHING YOURWEDDING BUDGET

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WHEN WE HEAR THE WORD MARRIAGE, WE THINK MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. THIS ASSUMPTION IS INTENSIFIED BY WEDDING SHOWS WHERE THE TOTAL COST MENTIONED USUALLY COMES TO THE PRICE OF A KAQUARTER OF PRIME LAND SOMEWHERE. I am here to help you do have a budget-friendly wedding. I am not here to judge where the funds come from but I hope to help you see how to do beautiful affordable weddings.

Approximate Guest Number 300 pax

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The restaurant style is costly as it means setting up tables and chairs lead-ing to costs of tables, drapery for tables and chairs and center pieces. It also takes up more space thus uses more tents. The theatre style is where there are no tables and takes up less space, minimising costs.

Restaurant Set up -> (30 tables+300 chairs + 6 tents + tables for gift tent, catering & bridal party)

Theatre Set Up -> ( 3 Tents + 300 chairs + tables for gift tent, catering & bridal party)

Check Pinterest for creative Theatre style arrangements. Also depending on the season, some people choose not to have tents and choose an indoor venue or drapery with decorated poles. Whatever you choose make sure you save money at it

Approx. Cost Saving: Kshs 30,000 - 90,000

DÉCOR

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Most people assume that the guests don’t have to eat at your wedding. However there is cultural pressure to have food at African weddings and doing without is usually an uphill battle.

A good & affordable caterer can cost a plate of food from Kshs 300 per plate, exclusive of drinks. This is a whooping Kshs 90, 000!! The drinks bring the total catering cost to Kshs 105, 000. Bye bye honey-moon*sob sob*.

You can get a chef to do for you the total cost of buying the ingredients and charge for the labour. . You then buy drinks from wholesalers and give to the chef to distribute to guests or have the ushers do it. This usually cuts that budget by almost half and serves around double the number of guests.

Approx. Cost Saving: Kshs 50,000 - 60,000

CATERING

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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This is another money funnel. To hire a nice bridal car usually comes to any-thing from Kshs 25,000 to 50,000.This does not include a luxury car like a limousine which has an hourly rate of Kshs.25, 000 per hour. If you hire it for 6 hours from home to church and to the reception, the cost is Kshs.150, 000.If you add the cost of all other vehicles on that day, it’s an additional Kshs.100, 000. (horror!)

You can cut costs by asking friends to give their cars on the day and drive your party. Most people do not mind and will also offer to fuel the vehicle. Just to be safe, you can set aside a fuel budget which would be as reasonable as 3,000 per ve-hicle for around 6 vehicles for the bridal party.

Have one car for errands with a higher budget for fuel and the cost is still manageable. You can have a friend donate a presti-gious car for the bride/couple or if none can be found,hire at a reasonable price from people who have such cars but are not necessarily in the bridal car hire business. This means that they will give you a good rate.

Approx. Cost Saving: Kshs 20,000 - 50,000

TRANSPORT

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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Other cost cutting ideas include:

• Have your beauty savvy friend do your makeup.• Flowers don’t have to be the decor. Beautiful, af-

fordable DIY works too.• Project the program on a screen or have two black-

boards with it artistically done.• Beautiful old shoes work too, or have them redone

in Ankara.• Have an evening wedding combining the reception

with the evening party or have a day wedding and do away with the evening party all together.

• Allow friends who want to gift you specific items cater for things on the day. For example one can gift you your jewelry, another your flowers etc.

• Some couples choose not to have a professional photographer and let all their friends take pictures their smart phones tagging them with a hashtag so they can be easily found later.

• Get creative, it will save you lots of money if you don’t do things the kawaida way!

All these and other tips for saving costs on your wedding day will go a long way in reducing the dent made on your finances for the wedding.

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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HONEYMOON DESTINATIONS

5TOP

We love getting our readers the scoop on amazing honeymoon destinations. We want to help you

make it a fantastic celebration of your newlywed status. Depending on what you love we’ve got a

number of destinations just for you.

WORDS : SAITON RIGHA

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FOR THE ROMANTICS

LAMU

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President Obama says its one of his favourite locations in Kenya, holding special memories when he and the first lady Michelle Obama visited years ago. We can guarantee that it has not changed.

Lamu love is the romantic's haven. Not only is it perfect for a destination wedding with a stunning background of the ocean with dhows it is the perfect honeymoon location.

Walks on a sandy pristine beach, henna art for the new bride, stunning sunsets and dinners just for the two of you it is a lifetime memory. You can also make sure to visit during the Lamu Festival and other festivals to see more of the culture and enjoy what it has to offer. There is a wide selection of beautiful hotels in Lamu as well so you can also hotel hop. It is a definite winner in our books. To

whet the appetite see the Twitter handle @visitlamu to see beautiful Lamu scenes.

IMAGES OF THE MAJLIS RESORT IN LAMU

themajlisresorts.com

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FOR THE SHOPPERS

DUBAIDubai is one of those shopper havens. For those who shop till they drop there’s lots to buy from jewelry, clothes, shoes and possibly everything you didn’t know you wanted. Add to that the fact that it is a foodie’s haven and you will love it. The architecture, the malls and the food will keep you occupied in the city. If you are adventurous you can go for a dessert safari where you sand ski, dune bash and enjoy camel rides. Another very memorable activity is to do a dhow cruise dinner where you get to see the city lights by night.

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FOR THE CULTURE-LOVERS

CAPE TOWN

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Why Go? This one is a triple hit with shopping, beautiful scenery and beaches at your disposal. The Stunning Table mountains and the fact that Cape Town is the home of wines will make your honeymoon memorable. There are wine tours and tastings for the wine connoisseurs that make Cape Town a fantastic choice.

If you love history you can book a trip to Robben Island and or go for a full historical and heritage tour that highlights landmarks and knowledge on South Africa’s history. If you love Jazz you can make sure your honeymoon coincides with the Cape Town Jazz Festival or Jazzathon. For other music lovers, Cape Town has a vast array of selections available too.

You can also book a Cape Tour where you get to take pictures at the Southernmost tip of the continent, see penguins and enjoy the beaches among other activities. When it comes to food, there will be more than you can enjoy so take your pick and create memories:)

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DISCOVERY LOVERS

MOZAMBIQUEEntire private Islands for lovers, an Elephant park and dinner on the beach, Mozambique is an undiscovered gem for honeymooners. The beaches are deserted and make for perfect lovers walks barefoot in the pristine sand. For those who love diving and snorkeling there are islands teeming with activities on that.

Late April to October are the best times to visit as the weather is fairly dry and not too humid. From the pictures you would definitely enjoy Mozambique from the Bazaruto and Quirimbas Archipelagos, the splen-did Inhambane coastline and the southern paradise regions of Ponto do Ouro and Maputo city.

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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FOR THE TIME TRAVELERS

CUBAHonestly, who do you know who ever went to Cuba for honeymoon? With restrictions removed by the US this beautiful island is now easier to travel to. For Kenyans it might take long trips and sorting out documents in advance but it is well worth the effort. Years of Embargoes mean that it has not moved with the rest of the world but that does not mean it is any less beautiful. From the people, to the music, to the food, it will be a once in a lifetime experience.

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Gown The perfect bride

Make up artist 1 Make up by Ruthie

Hair Chic Tresses

PhotographerWraggz photography

Model Njeri Riitho

Make up artist 2 Kalumu make up

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R U B A N I P I Xphotography

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WEDDING SONGS TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE TO9

THE LOVE STAND - WEBI

Nothing matters more than standing for love and this is what a wedding day really is. His voice reiterates what truly should matter to you on this day.

HAIYA - HARRY KIMANI

This is one of those love songs that will last in our minds for all time. It transcends language and the beauty of it makes it absolutely perfect, especially if you can get him for a live

performance on the day.

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Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

SPEECHLESS, IMENIBAMBA, HAPPY, UWE WANGU - ATEMI

Hands down one of our favourite musicians, her songs over the years are perfect for this moment in a couple’s life.

NAKUPENDA- NIKKI

This is off her debut album Twisted straight and this love bal-lad is simply what it says love. Its a beautiful accompaniment

to the beautiful bride walking down.

COUNTRY GIRL- CHRIS ADWAR

In this one Chris sings” hold my hand and never let me go” a reminder of what love is, walking through life together hand in hand.

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MY HAPPINESS- SARABI

A declaration of love and happiness to the one. Sarabi is one of Kenya’s most recent and successful bands and they do justice to this ballad.

SAFARI (ONE AND ONLY) -DAN CHIZI ACEDA

Life and love is a journey, this song talks about the journey it is and has been. A beautiful way for the couple to reminisce

about the journey that has brought them this far and what lies ahead.

NAKUPENDA - MERCY MYRA

Mercy Myra is a Kenyan songstress who in this song declares love. This song embodies what it is the big day is about, two lovebirds coming together.

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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NKULINZE- MAURICE KIRYA

This means I have waited for you, what a perfect way to mark the end of the wait as the couple becomes one. To his credit the entire album is a series of beautiful love songs for couples.

Wedding planning tips | Arusi Guru Magazine

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THE MORNING AFTER All I could think of from the moment Tom & I decided to get mar-ried was the wedding. I was totally preoccupied with the BIG DAY. Everything had to be perfect! I really did not have any idea what I was getting myself into as I said my vows to Tom “… in good times, in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, till death do us part”. All that mattered was that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and our love was enough to carry us through. How terribly wrong I was.

I’ve heard that anyone who has been married a few days has enough reasons to seek divorce and this soon became real in my marriage. Soon I realized what I thought were simple tasks like, what to have for dinner, which brand of supplies to buy, fre-quency of sexual intimacy, how often we visit with our families and friends became serious points of arguments between us.

One day just before our second anniversary, I decided I had had enough. I packed my bags, strapped our baby on my back and was on my way out when Tom accosted me. He demanded that I explain what I thought I was getting into when I got married. “You don’t just jump out of marriage because things are tough, you fight and make it work” he said. I had NO idea what he was talking about.

WORDS : SUMMIE MWAI

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One may not realize it but the truth is that our past plays a big role in how we live our marriages .Tom came from a safe and secure family and believed you get married and stay together for life, while I came from a family that crumbled and fell apart and always thought you didn’t have to stay if things became unbearable. I honestly don’t think anyone ever gets married expecting or desiring it to fail, but unfortunately, few people are really prepared for life beyond the wedding..

Tom and I will soon be celebrating our 19th anniversary and I can confidently say now, that marriage is beautiful and worth fighting for. Getting here has however not been easy and I’ve had to do things very differently from how I imagined I would. Thankfully, the results have been very rewarding. Here are a few things I’ve learnt and applied that made all the difference in my marriage.

Marriage Is By Design

Marriage was designed by Almighty God. For my mar-riage to thrive and succeed I must keep taking it back to its Author in prayer. I must also adhere to His command and guidelines for me as a wife. The most important of these is that Tom is my head. The leadership role in marriage is therefore clear and should never be a source of contention between us.

Power In Submission

I was created to be a helper suitable for my husband. True submission is me yielding to Tom’s leadership willingly and under no compulsion whatsoever. This doesn’t mean I don’t have a voice in the marriage. It simply means that I will raise my views, ideas, disagreements and displeasures but allow Tom in his position of leadership to prevail in the event of a stalemate. Submitting to my husband enhances our marriage without making me any lesser of a person or a doormat..

Taking Total Ownership

Marriage is not a 50- 50 partnership. I have to take 100% responsibility for its success and give my all and very best by daily choosing to focus on the good in my marriage.

Other Focused

Marriage is a needs meeting relationship so I must establish what Tom’s needs are and settle them. I have needs too and it is my responsibility to ensure he knows what they are. This way, he will not be ignorant of my desires and I will save him the guess work.

Same Team

Husband and wife are not contestants in the marriage, they belong together. If one of us loses, we both lose. Also, Tom is not my enemy, treating and attacking him like one is not good for our marriage. Oneness is critical to marital success but selfishness and disunity will destroy it at the core.

Husband and Wife Only

Keeping all others out of our marriage has boosted it great-ly. We do not let our children, siblings, parents or friends determine the direction our marriage takes. Along the way we established the value of protecting ourselves from the risks that including others would pose on our marriage. I believe happy marriages are truly possible but they must be deliberately established and maintained. All the same, if anyone finds themselves in a place where they are losing control and the challenges are beyond their capacity to cope, they should seek help from a trusted person or a professional counsellor.

Relationships | Arusi Guru Magazine

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WE ARE A PROFESSIONAL SOUND EQUIPMENT RENTAL COMPANY. WE HIRE OUT PA (PUBLIC ADDRESS), LIVE BAND, AND ALL RELATED SOUND AND AUDIO EQUIPMENT TO: CORPORATES, EVENT COMPANIES, EVENT ORGANIZERS, PR COMPANIES, VENUE

OWNERS, DJ’S, BANDS, ARTIST (MUSICIANS & ACTORS) AND INDIVIDUALS.

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A broken Engagement

LESSONS FROM

WORDS : STEPHANIE ATIENO

Relationships | Arusi Guru Magazine

What happens when nothing goes according to plan? Where do you go from there?I get asked that because I happen to have been patient zero of things really, really falling apart. plan. People date, get engaged and get mar-ried. It’s all a natural, happy sequence. Life though taught me that’s not everyone’s story, At least, not mine. I will never forget two dates in particular – February 2nd 2013 and June 2nd 2013 (funny how it’s only now that I’m writ-ing them down that I realize they were both 2nd’s).

February 2nd was amazing. 5 years of dating had finally led to that point. I had waited for it to happen, and it’s surprising how much I never saw it coming considering how long I had waited. There was always something standing in the way – school, finances, and careers - but it was finally happening. I remember looking at him on his knee, surrounded by friends and thinking how surreal this was.He was making jokes and taking way too long to ask, but he finally did and the answer was a definite yes. With lots of shouting, congratulations and tears.

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Relationships | Arusi Guru Magazine

Immediately plans begun – picking a date, talking to parents etc. I picked my bridal team and my gown quite early be-cause I like to plan. Things were going well it seemed, but in May, I lost this man. He stopped talking. He literally crawled into a shell and asked for time out. I guess I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. That’s how June 2nd happened.

“This is not going to work”

I have never been as angry as I was in that moment. I wasn’t even sad, sadness checked in much later. I was furious. It cannot possibly take a normal human being 5 years and a proposal to figure out that a relationship is not going to work and he had NO reasons. He could not articulate where this was from, why he felt that way, so there is no way this man could be normal. I handed him back his ring, accompanied with a hot slap (not that I condone violence, it just felt nec-essary or maybe I watch too many movies??!) and that was that.

At the end, I can look back and confidently say that that ex-perience grew me and I learned so much . Also. what good are lessons learned if you can’t use them to help others?

1. Keep the main thing, the main thing. Be-lieve me when I say the main thing is NOT your wedding. The main thing is your relationship. Anyone who’s planned a wedding before knows how stressful it can get. It’s easy to get lost in the planning. It’s almost becomes the only topic of discussion Maybe that’s what happened, I don’t know. It is imperative to not allow your relationship be overshadowed by this wedding.

2. A broken engagement is always better than a broken marriage. I hated hearing this when my mother first said it to me because it was in the middle of my pain. Looking back, that was honestly the most brilliant thing my mother said to me. “Isn’t it better that he left now than 1 or 2 years into your marriage?” No matter how much I wanted to get married, and no matter how much I believed he was right form me – I am grateful that he made his deci-sion then and not after we got married.

3. Forgiveness is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s also very personal. I actually moved on from the fiasco long before I ever forgave him.

Strange, but forgiveness is a personal journey and not “one size fits all”. Many said it was impossible to move on with-out forgiving him. I realized that it was possible for me. I forgave what he did to me which that allowed me to move on. I didn’t forgive him quite as easily because I felt doing so meant that I was justifying what he did and letting him know that it was ok, when it really wasn’t. (Not to worry, I eventually did )

4. No, people are NOT “all the same”. The biggest thing for me from the moment this happened, was realiz-ing and understanding that it was a “him” thing, not an “all men” thing. I didn’t place all men in one box, shut them in there & promise to stay single for the rest of my life because of one man’s decision. I still wanted to experience love, and I still very much wanted to get married and in due time it happened for me, and what I have now. God does work in some very funny ways.

5. Closure doesn’t always happen. As I said, there’s no way that his thought process was that of a normal human being,so I decided he was abnormal. Sounds funny, but that was the only way I could find to forgive him. The only way I could rationalize his behavior to let it go and move on. I had to do this because I actually never got any closure, and I thrive on closure to close chapters. But this period taught me that sometimes, you have to give yourself closure.

6. Pain is inevitable, misery is optional. Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it. Pain is inevitable but misery is optional. People will hurt you, but to be miserable is a choice you make. It is fully within your control. Choose not to be miserable. Don’t peg the outcome of your life on another person’s poor decisions.

7. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. That was my response to everyone who kept asking if we would get back together.

8. Life goes on! As much as this is last, it was my biggest lesson of all. It is easier said than done, but after a while, life goes on for everybody. You’ll wake up and each day you’ll think about it less. It stops being a topic of conversation. I personally call it God’s beautiful gift of forgetting. As life begins to go on, allow it and more importantly – move with it. The only way to discover what else life has in store for you, is to see what else is ahead.

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HOW TO GET Engaged

101WORDS : MATHEE

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My daughter to get married and get engaged is not rocket science. It is easy but we make it so complicated. Here are some lessons that I learned

Just a little advice that could take you a long way!

1. Be you- Do the things you love, be the person you are. Flaws and all you deserve to be loved as you are Don’t change to be someone else just to get married. You’ll be enslaving yourself under a lifetime of pretense. The best you can do is work to be better for you and the people you love.

2. Choose the right person to date regardless of income- Money comes and goes, what matters most is character.

3. Don’t stress- things will happen at their own time. Obsessing after something doesn’t make it happen faster.

4. Figure out yourself and the why- Why are you here, why do you want to get married, why this person? All of this is important to know BEFORE getting into marriage

Relationships | Arusi Guru Magazine

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Tucked away in a serene location along Thika Road superhighway is this beautiful gem of a garden that embraces you with her lush acre-age from the moment you arrive.

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Photography & Video

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