“ANTIM IVIREANUL”

HIGH SCHOOL

RM. VALCEA

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How do children feel about their parents going for work abroad?

Analysis and remedial action

at „Antim Ivireanu” High-school from Râmnicu Vâlcea,

Romania

As a result of the signals recently sent

byboth governmental and non-governmental organizations such as UNICEF and “Save the children”, concerning the impact the parentsmigration has on their children, our school worked on a study that proposed to deal with this matter, the target being our primary students.

THE NEGATIVE IMPACT OF

PARENTS MIGRATION

ON THEIR CHILDREN’S

LIFE

The study revealed

that, from a total of 79 students, 16 students, standing for 20%, have at least one parent working abroad.

A FIFTH OF THE CHILDREN HAVE AT LEAST A PARENT WORKING ABROAD

The conclusion was

that, although the records show only 2 children have both

their parents abroad,the number of children in the

custody of their grandparents is

bigger because their families are

disorganized, having

their parents separated (7 students-9%of all the students)

A FIFTH OF THE CHILDREN HAVE AT LEAST A PARENT WORKING ABROAD

These children stand for a vulnerable group, exposed to risks, with psycho - behavioral effects on them.

Having a closer look on the matter, we can perceive a series of negative consequences

coming up for them. Depriving children of their parents’ affection

and of their necessary “close look” leads to affective, motivational and behavioral deficiencies

THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD ARE A VULNERABLE GROUP

OF INDIVIUALS

Feelings of abandonmentFeelings of abandonment, , unsecurityunsecurity, , sadnesssadness, anxie, anxietyty, , depressive moodsdepressive moods, , as a as a result of missing their parentsresult of missing their parents, , ofof their need for their need for parental affectionparental affection, , of appraisal on the part of their of appraisal on the part of their parents parents and once they develop a cognitive and once they develop a cognitive distortiondistortion..

LLack of motivationack of motivation, , apathyapathy (( indifference to indifference to what happens around themwhat happens around them), ), tiredness tiredness (l(lack of ack of energyenergy, , unwillingunwilling to make cognitive efforts at to make cognitive efforts at schoolschool, , to involve in any free-time activitiesto involve in any free-time activities according to their ageaccording to their age) ) either on the ground of either on the ground of sadnesssadness, , or the multi-tasks they might have, many or the multi-tasks they might have, many of them designed for adults. of them designed for adults.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

AtAttitude of indifferencetitude of indifference, , of stubborness of stubborness which canwhich can sometimessometimes give birth to give birth to violent violent behaviour behaviour as a result of as a result of frustrfrustration ation and of and of need for attentionneed for attention. . In front of the In front of the difficulties the child faces he interpretes difficulties the child faces he interpretes the absence of his parents like a lack of the absence of his parents like a lack of attention for him attention for him and his needs.and his needs.

Attention disorders Attention disorders (( a decreased ability a decreased ability to concentrate to concentrate on the tasks achievement on the tasks achievement and “an escape from reality and “an escape from reality ”). ”). What the What the children often have in mind is their children often have in mind is their parents gone abroadparents gone abroad, , their situationtheir situation, , the the moments they will talk to themmoments they will talk to them,, when when they they will receive parcels from them will receive parcels from them etc.etc.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

Damage to school behaviourDamage to school behaviour (( decreasing school performance decreasing school performance, , skipping classesskipping classes, , abandoning studies abandoning studies, , having having conflictconflicts with s with teachers and colleguesteachers and collegues) ) on the ground of lacking parental authorityon the ground of lacking parental authority and as a result of missing a long-term aspirations project. and as a result of missing a long-term aspirations project.

The absence of long-term aspirationsThe absence of long-term aspirations ((they cannot be they cannot be projected in the futureprojected in the future) ) or the presence of some or the presence of some unrealistic unrealistic aspirations aspirations determined determined byby

cognitive distortions cognitive distortions such assuch as: : “You don’t have to learn in order to “You don’t have to learn in order to have moneyhave money”, ”, “When I grow up,“When I grow up, I am going abroad myself to workI am going abroad myself to work and for doing it, you don’t need to learnand for doing it, you don’t need to learn” ” etc. etc. The coming up or the The coming up or the development of such a negative development of such a negative aattitude to education isttitude to education is favored favored especially by the models provided by those parents who, although especially by the models provided by those parents who, although they are university graduatesthey are university graduates, , are forced to choose an unskilled job are forced to choose an unskilled job abroadabroad..SoSo the children and the teenagers find out the children and the teenagers find out that abroad,that abroad, working as a laborer somebody can earn much more than if working as a laborer somebody can earn much more than if somebody works home in the field you are qualified to.somebody works home in the field you are qualified to.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

The stress at school. For the children who have their parents working abroad, school stands for an important generator of stress. Most of the conver-sations on the phone between children and their parents deal with school matters, then they are asked about the relatives that take care of them and the way they spend their free time.

(Pre)deliquent behaviours (deliquent group member-ship, violent behaviour, substance abuse, involvement in criminal activities, going into pubs, game rooms etc.) is a way of replacing the unsatisfied needs for appreciation, attention şi affection.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

Self-esteem disorders: overrating in relation to the other children who don’t have so much money as they do or the same clothes or items they get from abroad, or underestimation in relation to their friends whose parents come to important events in their life (school anniversaries, parents meetings, anniversaries, celebrations etc.)

Tolerance to frustration of a lower level or, on the contrary, of a higher level in direct relationship with the child’s capacity to adapt, with his defense

mechanisms.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

Adaptation difficulties. After the parents’ departure their children come across a period of adaptation to the new situation, to the changes that come up in their life. Lacking support on the part of their parents or a psychological advice, children can develop during this period of adaptation an accute reaction to stress or a reaction of adaptation.

Communication difficulties both in relation with children of the same age and in relation with adults. Statistics show that the departure of one of the parents brings about a worse relationship between the child and the parent who remained home

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS

ABROAD

Starting from the recorded data confirmed at Starting from the recorded data confirmed at the school level, that isthe school level, that is, , the existence of 20% of the existence of 20% of

the primary level students, we propose the primary level students, we propose an an actionaction planplan which has as main purpose the which has as main purpose the reduction of the impact the parents’ going reduction of the impact the parents’ going

abroad has abroad has on their children.on their children.

• A better understanding of the studentA better understanding of the student, , of his behaviourof his behaviour, , of his of his skillsskills , , of the problems he faces while his parent(s) is/are of the problems he faces while his parent(s) is/are gone gone abroad;abroad;

• PrevenPreventing school abandonment;ting school abandonment;• Increasing motivation for education;Increasing motivation for education;• PPreventing harmful environments and antisocial activities;reventing harmful environments and antisocial activities;• Taking part in curricular and extracurricular activities;Taking part in curricular and extracurricular activities;• Teachers’ getting involved Teachers’ getting involved in developing thein developing the interpersonal interpersonal

relationship and promoting trust between children;relationship and promoting trust between children;• Forming independent life skills that deal with taking Forming independent life skills that deal with taking

responsabiresponsabilities lities , com, communicating with children of the same age and municating with children of the same age and with adults with adults şi cu adulţi. şi cu adulţi.

• Keeping in touch with the home parents or the tutors, as well as Keeping in touch with the home parents or the tutors, as well as with the parents who are abroadwith the parents who are abroad

Field of activityIdentifying the children whose parents work abroad

Measures and concrete actions

– Setting up a database– Making a study and an

intervention plan– Filling in some forms (with the help of

headteachers and primary teachers) for monitoring the students whose parents work abroad

Persons in charge

• Primary teachers

• Headteachers• Educational

counselor• School

counselor• Headmasters

Field of activityPreventing and controlling the negative effects of the children separation from their parents by approaching some specifictopics during the proposed educational activities

Measures and concrete actions

Doing activities that have as goals: –Crystallizing a positive self-image;–Increasing the capacity of taking decisions;–Keeping a balance in situations of success and failure;–Increasing resistance to frustration;–Taking responsabilities;–Improving communication skills; – Time management;–Increasing the motivation for education;

People in charge

• Primary teachers

• Headteachers• Teachers• School

counselor

Field of activityPreventing and controlling the negativ effects of the children’s separation from their parents by involving in curricular and extracurricular activities

Measures and concrete action

– Initiating and taking part in educational and extracurricular activities (anniversaries, visits, shows, hobbies workshops, trips, etc) with students’ participation

– Organizing şi taking part in activities in partnership with local institutions with the purpose of creating a social support for the students in risky situations (DSP, Police, The Guardians, CPECA)

People in charge

• Primary teachers

• Headteachers• School

counselor• Educational

counselor• Heamasters

Field of activity Preventing and controlling the negativ effects of the children’s separation from their parents by setting up a permanent communication and collabora-tion school- family

Measures and concrete action– Keeping the family and the tutors informed about the children’s situation;

– Keeping the family and the tutors informed about the consequences of migration on the child’s development by keeping lectures;

– Communicating with the parents who work abroad and talking about their emotional and school situation

– Making people sensible and mobilizing them in order to give support to the chldren;

– Making the people aware, before leaving abroad, of the fact that they have to notify the authorities and make the necessary papers for passing the custody to a tutor

People in charge

• Primary teachers

• Headteachers• School

counselor• Educational

counselor• Heamasters

Field of activity Collabo-rating with the school counselor;

Measures and concrete action– Identifyimg the possible problems

that the child might have;– Sending the children with psycho-

behavioural problems to the Psychopedagogical Assinstance Cabinet (teachers/primary teachers)

– Supportive counselling (encouraging students to express their emotions, active listening, assistance for managing emotions, discovering new adapting methods in order to face a certain situation, a better self-understanding )

– Parents’ counselling for realizing the consequences of their separation;

– Giving advice to the tutors;

People in charge

• Primary teachers

Headteachers• School

counselor• Teachers

• Gîrban Simona – Liceul “Antim Ivirireanu”- Râmnicu Vâlcea-Romania

• Uţă Traian - Liceul “Antim Ivirireanu” - Râmnicu Vâlcea-Romania

• Uţă Mirela- Colegiul Energetic - Râmnicu Vâlcea-Romania• Muja Mihai - Liceul “Antim Ivirireanu” - Râmnicu Vâlcea-

Romania