Anne Watts - Skutt Catholic - Class A - Editorial Cartooning

Boiling Over Below Zero Low temperatures make for heated students

Molly Gubbels, Staff Reporter March 1, 2016 • (Edit) Filed under Editorial Dearest Skutt Catholic administration (specifically those of you who have the power to change the weather), We at the Flightline have noticed a problem in our own high school classrooms that we simply can’t stand any longer: a school-wide lack of warmth has left many to believe that the clutches of global warming have stopped dead in their tracks and made an exception just for us, and our grades and attention are suffering greatly due to this distracting draft. Air conditioning certainly is a blessing during the summer months, but late February is certainly not the time to turn off the heating system. Now, we’re all sure that somewhere within our tuition payments, there must be some money to keep our students from hypothermic tendencies. Of course, the real problem that has arisen from this not-so sudden drop in temperature is our simultaneous decrease in concentration. While our teeth are chattering and shivers are running perpetually up our spines, we find ourselves focusing so much on conserving warmth, that we forget almost entirely how to solve for x or whatever happened to Hester Prynne.

“I don’t mind having the classrooms a little chilly,” junior Sarah Devlin says, “but when my fingertips are turning blue and my legs have goosebumps, it’s hard not to focus on how cold it is, rather than what the teacher is saying,” Surely Jurgis Rudkis and his frostbitten family would not wish upon us the same fate which they endured in the harsh, dream-crushing winters of Packingtown. Nor would Albert Einstein hope that the generation with the promise to make amazing scientific breakthroughs be stopped by the sudden ailment known as “the common cold.” Any of Mr. Elliott’s or Mr. Neumann’s students would tell you that they’re preparing to bring their fluffy coats and winter boots to survive their seemingly eternal 45 minutes of frostbite. However, Skutt has been making some changes, though we’re not sure whether or not it’s for the best. It would appear that whoever it is that’s controlling the thermostat, feels they need to overcompensate for the painfully cold classrooms by making a select few warmer, and to that we say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Though this may seem like a solution to the problem, a trek through the Sahara desert to learn about the present progressive tense in Spanish leaves us feeling muy mal (and however you say “very bad” in equally arid French and German classes). It’s clear that it’s way past time for Skutt Catholic to face the heat, or rather, the lack of it. Sincerely, Your frosty friends at the Flightline